Original paste date: Feb 18th, 2017

(I really have no idea what to name this...)
 
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>You woke up early again
>Soon there will be too much snow for you to do anything without assistance
>So you ate your breakfast and quickly went for your morning run
>You're Anonymous, and Equestria has been hell
>Not because of the weather or the challenge it is to survive here
>Well partially the second, but mostly because of the sheer size of everything
>When a certain purple pony found you, you were terrified
>You heard her taking notes and saying that you were half hoof tall compared to ponies 10 hooves average and some other gibberish
>Aparently she was doing some kind of science on you for some reason
>The happy pony then decided to talk directly with you, standing just inches away with a grin that covered your whole vision
>You didn't hear much more as you passed out
>When you woke up, luckily, your conversation was minimal
>Out of nowhere she decided to give you a dollhouse that barely got up to her knees
>Not sure where you'd live without that, so it was a start
>Afterwards, when you were feeling better, she sent you on your way
>Which is to say, she threw you and your new home off the window
>Well, she actually carefully placed everything right after her doorstep, somehow levitating it all through the window
>At least you didn't call her a horse
>Apparently ponies take offense to that, as you learned from a cream coloured pony with blue and pink hair
>Soon after being kicked with your new home you went inside to check it out
>Didn't take long before your ground shook, this new pony sitting down right beside the window
>Somehow she decided to sit in the perfect place, blocking any sun from coming through it
>Like the reasonable human you are, you went to ask her to leave in the most polite way you know
>Which meant that you went outside right next to her and shouted:
"Hey, take this full moon away from my window you filthy horse!"
>And then you punched her rear for good measure
>Though you're not sure if it had any effect, since almost your entire arm sunk inside the soft wall
>You also learned to respect them a lot more that day, her hoof crashing down from the sky right behind you, making you scream and hug the closest thing to you
>Which was her plot you had just punched
>"What did you just call me?"
>Scared of her hoof and already dropping all your spaghetti reserves you felt compelled to reply
"F-filthy?
>"Not that, afterwards"
>Her massive hoof was slowly dragging its way towards you, leaving you with nowhere to run
>You couldn't take your eyes away from it either, as the gargantuan limb made its way to you
"H-horse, it was horse"
"Yes, that" - she said, pinning you to her soft cush and slightly grinding you there - "Don't call us that"
>She rubbed you in a way that you think she may've been actually trying to pet you, but still...
>"We're ponies, you're lucky I'm in a good mood today and that you're cute, but please don't call us horses again, okay?"
>With that she let go of you and stood up
>You were frozen as her massive legs walked right over you, one of her back legs staying low enough to give you a final petting
>But before going completely past, she stopped again
>"Oh and one more thing, don't touch a mare's cutie mark like that, you may send her wrong signals of what you want"
>With that her massive tail hairs swished your way
>With no way of dodging that you just decided to handle it like a fly would, probably just about to be swept in the same way
>You were surprised when the strands carefully brushed your body as if she was teasing you
>That day you stayed inside, not leaving once
>After thinking about your life choices, you settled on never calling them horses ever again
>There had been a slight increasing problem of you staring at their backsides though
>But either the ponies didn't mind or they simply didn't care
>They already walked around naked anyway
 
>But...where were you again?
>Right, why Equestria was hell to you
>The sheer size of everything meant that you could barely do anything yourself
>You cant lie that often you got into situations that made it all worth it though
>Like when a temporary neighbor of yours, Roseluck, knocked on your door asking if you had some salt to share
>First of all, you didn't saw many places that sold salt since you got here
>Secondly, why would you ever have enough salt to share with a pony as big as she is
>You could even sleep comfortably inside the ‘small’ cup she was asking for if you wanted!
>They are such silly ponies
>Also most of the time your temporary neighbors were the ones to supply your dollhouse with everything too
>Heck, as it is you may as well be the town's pet right now
>But you valued your independence, so you've been working out daily to achieve it
>Like, now you can even wake a pony up, all by yourself
>Well, more like make them acknowledge your existence, before blowing you away while half-asleep
>Still, your next step will be a big one
>You want to survive winter and the metric tons of snow that it will bring
>All by yourself
>No need to be brought to a random pony house and wait for it to be over
>You can do it, you can feel it
>But all your hopes and dreams come crashing down when you see a blue figure flying at insane speeds in your direction
>Before you can do anything, all her four hooves have already landed around you
>And since you were right in the middle of them you took the full force of the shockwave, sending you airborne for a while before tumbling back down
“Dammit Dash, stop using me as landing practice”
>”Cmon Anon, help me here, I gotta train my accuracy with something, the smaller the best, you know that”
>”Also is that a way to greet your best training buddy?”
>You knew she wanted to help, after seeing how much you were working out
>But it's not like you could do any of the feats she asked for
>It started with trying to move her by tugging her tail
>Then it moved to lifting one of her hooves while she was laying down
>That ended with your current sleeping pony experiment at least
>In the end you decided to massage her flanks after she got bored and went for her nap
>You worked on your strength while appreciating this pony’s back
>It's just so impossibly big you can't even
>Well, it was actually kinda fit compared to other mares but still, more than enough meat for you
>”Dash to Anon, anyone there?”
>Before you knew, she was already laying down in front of you, hooves ready to boop at a moments notice
>And then you got booped with a force of a thousand suns and exploded!
>At least you wish sometimes, it was just the regular friendly boop that often broke your nose
>You were fine this time though, even if having to endure some pain
“So you thought of anything new we should try today?”
>”Aww yea! So hear me out, I was thinking, you cant lift my foreleg right? But how about lifting my head?”
“Huh?”
>”You know, my head, it's smaller and probably lighter for you to try”
“Eh sure, I still don't think I can do it thou”
>"Doesn't hurt to try right"
>Dash then lowered her face to the ground, her huge eyes following your every movement
>You now knew that ponies wouldn't eat you, out of all the experiments that Twilight did and what you gathered straight from them
>But you still couldn't help but move to her cheek instead of going straight on
>”Ugh cmon Anon, how many times must we tell you that we re not going to eat you?”
“Not enough times, that's how much”
>”Just...just do it from my chin, will you? I wanna watch and help if something comes to mind”
>Yea sure, just like all the other times she fell asleep
>Still, you obliged and moved to the front of her muzzle
>Right when you arrived, her tongue shot out and licked you head to toe
>You stood there, unmoving, not knowing what to do
>”Whoa Anon dude... you're like, so salty”
“R-Rainbow...Fuck you dude, you said you wouldn't eat me!”
>”And? I didn't eat you, it was just a lick, HAH you should see your face”
>You just kept your angry face, still not knowing what to do about the situation
>”Chillax Anon, it's a compliment really, you taste pretty nice”
>Aand she was biting her lower lip now...great
“This is not really encouraging you know”
>”Best I can do, sorry. Hey how about another lick?”
“What? Fuck no, I m not a lolli-“
>You get cut out as Dash tongue envelops you in a much throughout lick
>Considering the light change you think you may ve been pulled inside her mouth once or twice
>After a while she finally lets go of you with a content sigh
>Her cheeks and ear tips are a deep crimson color as if she was drunk
>You just lay in the ground, thinking on what you could ve done to deserve this
>Maybe the plot massages?
>Definetly the plot massages
>”Hey...Anon......where are you staying this winter?”
“Home, why?” – you really can't find the strength to make full sentences anymore
>”Great, let's go then”
>She then picked you in her mouth and flew to her home, sucking every once in a while
>And it has been like that every winter since then
>Dash, giving Anon whatever he needed for winter
>And Anon, giving Rainbow Dash her daily dose of salt
>Thankfully Twilight noticed Rainbow Dash’s odd behavior when close to Anon
>So she prohibited her to ever get close to him again, since she was addicted to his taste
>It didn't help when Twilight did it too out of curiosity
>But in the end, Rainbow still had dibs every winter
The End