>"Why does every girl in school have a boyfriend except for Trixie?! The boys should be fighting over the honor of courting the Great Trixie!"
"Because you're... Trixie?"
>"WHO DARES SPEAK DOWNETH UPON THE GREAT AND- oh. It's just you"
>Trixie looks at you as you put your tray down on the table and take a seat next to her 
>You and Trixie have been friends for a while
>You'd first met eachother as kids. 
>You moved into the house next to hers, and thought the adventures she used to talked about all the time were cool
>As the years went by you slowly realized she was just really autistic
>You're a little autistic yourself, but not Trixie levels of tism
>Sometimes it feels like you're the only thing stopping her from taking the smaller bus to school, especially in recent years. 
>Trixie's constant whining about >tfw no bf when nobody (actually everybody, since she's so fucking loud) is listening
>You shut her down every time, too
>You're both loveless, but she is so damn annoying about it
"Complaining about having a boyfriend won't give you one yknow"
>"Yeah, with an EMASCULATED 'male' like you around, Trixie won't ever find her soulmate. Wink!"
>She tries to drop hints to get you to go out with her
>First she tried buttering you up
>Then she tried appealing to your likes, then fetishes
>Those were dark times
>And recently she's been trying to use reverse psychology
>Though the winks are new
>Is she getting desperate? 

>She probably was, considering you were never one to respond to these romantic advances
>Years of Trixie's autism has made you impervious to her attacks
>Plus it felt weird to think about you and Trixie being a thing
>It felt almost like you'd be grooming a special needs kid
>You're also never sure if she does it because you're the only person that's half nice to her or not
>Either way, she insulted your manhood this time, so it would only be right if you shot back a little too
"As if you're so feminine yourself. I get it, and everyone in the immediate vicinity gets it. You're desperate. Also, most PEOPLE, let alone most LADIES, dont say wink while winking, you know that right?"
>"Y-yeah well... Trixie isn't 'most ladies'!" She tries to defend herself
"Yeah. That's for sure"
>You roll your eyes and start digging into your lunch
>"Uh, what's THAT supposes to mean"
>You talk with a pasta-filled mouth
"It means that you're a fuckin nutcase"
>"Why- That's rude! However, Trixie is a merciful deity, and will give you one chance to apologize" She huffs
>You finish the pasta you were chewing before
"Why would I? It's true. You're a weirdo"
>Trixie exhales sharply
>"The Great and Undoubtedly NOT WEIRD Trixie is familiar with the rules of baseball, and shall now be giving you 1 more 'strike' before Trixie demonstrates her wrath! She suggests you choose your next words carefully!" Trixie practically yells
"No."
>Trixie exhales again
>Then inhales deeply
>"No. Trixie is above your childish insults. She does not get bothered by peons such as yourself" she smugly looks at you
"Oh so I'm a 'peon' now? That's a far cry from winking at me, being lovey dovey with me, dressing up all hot for me, and using reverse psychology to get with me"
>Trixie's eyes open widely and her face flushes 

>Oh god that's really red
"Pro-Tip: stop trying so hard. You won't get me because I dont want you. All these poor 'peons' sitting here feel the same and know the same, too"
>You point at the small crowd gathered around you two
>Trixie gets even redder
>Trixie's breathing is harsh
>"I-I... I see..." she looks down, dejected
>"Can Trixie just ask one favor...?" She asks
"Sure, why not?"
>In a split second, Trixie shoots up out of her seat
>"TASTE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE'S WRATH!" 
>With fire in her eyes, Trixie slams your face into your tray of pasta
>A loud "ooooh" is heard from the audience
>You lie in the pasta for a moment
>For two reasons:
>First of all, that was a good trick, you didn't see it coming (though you should have)
>Second, it gives you time for Trixie to get distracted
>Suddenly you hear
>"Yes! Yes I know you all admire the Wrathful and Powerful Trixie! Oh how modest she is standing up to her bully!" And other dumb shit
>Time for a counter-attack
>You lift your face off the tray and clean yourself up with a napkin
>You slowly stand up from your seat, tray in your hands
>You make a "shh" gesture to the audience like some wrestler trying to pull a fast one
>The audience quiets down
>Trixie's too full of herself to tell
>You sneak up right behind Trixie and ready your attack
>Suddenly you hear "TRIXIE! BEHIND YOU!" cry out from the silence
>All according to plan
>Trixie turns around and you push your tray into her face 

"Look! Our lips touched the same place! Practically an indirect kiss! A dream come true, right?"
>The crowd laughs
>Trixie cleans her face off with her hands
>"YOU! Y-YOU... I..." Trixie stutters while she takes in all the laughing onlookers
>You can see tears form in her eyes
>"I HATE YOU!" Trixie yells with autistic rage
>Trixie runs through the crowd
>Everyone goes silent
>The crowd looks away from you, no doubt eyeing Trixie
>All you can hear is the opening and closing of the cafeteria doors
>Then the crowd turns to you
"What? You shouldn't touch a man's food and expect to get away with it scott free"
>Suddenly you realize
>The crowd is mainly made up of women
>And their faces are looking less and less excited as the seconds tick by
"Alright alright... fine. Guess I shou-TIME TO ABANDON SHIP!"
>You run through the crowd like Trixie before you
>Women are easy, though. You just run through with your arms extended
>You even accidentally cop a feel
>Not that you were paying attention or trying to
>You just heard some unfortunate soul yell "Stop feeling us up, pervert!"
>You decide to answer back while running:
"Damn I kinda dont care!"
>You were not about to face the consequences of your own actions
>Not this time
>Yep. This was one for the history books
>Friendship destroyed, women (allegedly) felt up, rules you've dreamed about breaking broken
>You are a legend, truly
>Well, now that you're a king exiled from your kingdom, what do you do now?
>Lunch still has another fifteen minutes left 

>You should spend a few looking for Trixie, just to make sure she's alright
>You meant to hurt her pride, but not kill her will
>You're quite the merciful deity yourself, now that you think about it
>Oh well. What's done is done you suppose
>Plus it was all true.
>ALRIGHT FOCUS Anon
>Find Trixie
>Where would an autist be...
>The girls restroom
>You make your way up to the closest female-only restroom
>Luckily these things are just giant concrete holes with tiny maze-like walls stopping you from seeing anything in the entrance
"Hey Trixie. You in here?"
>You hear a soft sob echo from within the room
"Yeah you are. Alright... uh... just wanted to say I'm sorry for getting you all full of pasta and whatnot"
>Some more sobs
>"Dont remind me!" Trixie's shout echoes
"Well, to be fair it did kinda just happ-"
>"Trixie does NOT want to speak to you right now!" She shouts in between sobs
"Fine. Fair enough. But does she wanna ditch school with me?"
>You really don't want to find out what'll happen if you decide to stay
>And you don't want to leave Trixie at school even more
>She tends to... tell stories
>Plus, ditching just seemed like the natural progression in rule breaking without engaging in fisticuffs
"C'mon. We got like 13 minutes-ish before lunch ends. If we try now I bet we can make it home before next period"
>"Trixie... is thinking" she says solemnly
>Time to bust out the big guns
"Think about this: are you really ready to be sniffing it up during class?"
>She sniffles a few times
>"No..." she lets out
>That kinda made you feel something 

>You're pretty sure both of you are eachother's only friends
>And you just went from shitting on your lonely only friend to convincing them to do an objectively bad thing
>All just to save your own skin in the grand scheme of things
>"Are we going?" Trixie asks quietly, now standing in front of you
>When did she get here?
>Her lightly applied mascara is running
>Now you REALLY feel like a dick
>But what you said was all still true, even if it was dick-ish
>Focus, Anon
"Oh, yeah. Follow me"
>The good thing about going to a shitheap public school is that it's relatively easy to get by
>You lead Trixie to the main entrance and open the door for her
"Ladies first"
>"Huh? Just like that?"
"Yeah"
>"Are there any cameras?"
"Yeah. Working ones? No."
>These pieces of expertise brought to you by fear of public speaking, and papers you've written that raised many an eyebrow(TM)
>'Why would they have a swimming team if it were TRULY an extermination?' Is ALL you asked
>Several times
>Back to reality 

>Trixie and you are outside
>You both walk silently until you can no longer see the school anymore
>Oddly enough, Trixie decides to walk in front of you
>"Alright. Trixie needs to let you know some things"
"Alright"
>"Trixie is NOT doing this for you, she is doing it for herself"
"Ok"
>"Trixie will NOT be going to your house after school like she normally does on Fridays"
"Ok"
>"And finally: Trixie HAS never, WILL never, and WON'T EVER like you."
"Huh?"
>So you did lose your one friend
>"Did Trixie stutter?" She starts walking more agressively
>I guess non-friend Trixie can get the non-friend treatment then
"No she did not, but on an unrelated note: has anyone ever told you that you're cute when you're angry?"
>Trixie stops
>"Cute? T-Trix-uh Me? Pfft! As if! You truly are a child Anon!" Trixie giggles
"That seemed like a very painful sentence for you to say. Are you alright?"
>Trixie turns around to face you
>Her face is red
>"Fret not young Anon! For Trixie is capable of the greatest feats imagineable! Her wordcraft is impeccable! Do not be afraid of its mystery" She moves her hands in random motions to emphasize mystery
"Does this mean you forgive me?"
>"No." Trixie turns around and begins walking once more
"Fair enough. At least I know I can get you giddy with just a single line" 

>Trixie stumbles a bit
"See? Easy."
>"Trixie isnt as easy as you think" she says smugly
"Yeah, she's even easier"
>"You're a... You... you're a buffoon. Trixie hopes you know that" Trixie huffs
"C'mon. You can curse now, it's just the two of us. Let it rip"
>"The Great and Dignified Trixie does not curse, unless she is in great pain" she smugly states
"You shouldn't give your enemies ideas"
>"Well, as much as Trixie dislikes you now, Trixie is a forgiveful figure, and shall give you your freedom in due time, lowlife scum!"
"Freedom? Freedom from what?"
>"Trixie's wrath of course!" 
"You seem to be more forgiveful than you lead on"
>"Trixie does not follow"
"You seem a lot more energetic than you were in the school restroom"
>"Fresh air does good to a magician, Trixie thinks it might have restored her mana pool"
"You think?"
>"Yes! Magicians are always learning new things about their abilities!" Trixie explains
"Maybe you should learn how to be not autistic"
>"Ha ha ha! Very funny Anon, but we both know the Great and Powerful Trixie does NOT work with mind altering spells"
"What a shame. I wonder what a Trixie with an intelligence of 2 could do"
>Trixie turns around
>"Trixie DEMANDS that you stop bullying her this instant!" She says as she flails her hands at you
"Is this a threat?"
>You're unphased by her little noodle arms
>"Yes." Trixie says flailing her arms some more
"Keep that up and you might accidentally set me off"
>Trixie stops her flailing and giggles
>"Oh my, look at Mean Ol' Anon being all macho and tough! You wouldn't hit a girl, let alone one so beautiful as I!" Trixie poses dramatically
"I'm full of surprises" 

>"Oh Ho! Is that so? Then do it! Attack Trixie!" She's puffing out her chest, trying to appear strong
>Big mistake
>You reach both of your arms outward at lightning speed
>And launch them right at Trixie's chest
>They peacefully land on their target
>Not like it was hard
>Flat surfaces are easy to press your hands on
"Pfft. Small"
>silence
>Isn't she going to react?
>You slowly look up from her chest
>And right into Trixie's lustful bedroom eyes
"AH WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>You quickly take your hands off her chest and shake them to get rid of any boob particles
>"Huh? What's wrong loverboy? Trixie thought Trixie was easy?"
"Shut up"
>Trixie lets out a hearty laugh
>"You should've seen your face! You looked like you had just seen a ghost!"
"Oh, but I did"
>Trixie's face contorts in confusion
"I felt ghostly breasts OoOoOoOoO. It was like they werent even thereeeee!"
>"Hmph! Trixie will have you know that her bust size is complimentary to her frame!"
>You gasp
"YOU'RE A GHOST?!?"
>"What? No. Trixie's br-"
"Oh no... the accident... Trixie's been dead for months now! I need to let her go..."
>"Trixie's right her-"
>You put your index finger over her mouth
"Sometimes... it's almost like I can still hear her speaking to me"
>You fake some sniffles
>"Whatever. Trixie finds your jokes unamusing" 
"I can't believe I let that mana pool line slide without making a joke about it"
>"Let's just get home before something unfortunate happens to you"
"Like what? I get kissed by you?"
>"Worse" Trixie gives you a thousand yard stare
"What is it"
>"A magician never reveals her secrets" she winks with a smirk and turns around
>Onward you two march
>Trixie leading, with you a little behind 

>But marching is boring
>You wanna get some of that rush you had earlier again
>After maybe a minute of silence, you pop a question
"Wanna play Truth or Dare?"
>"Dear Anonymous the simpleton, as much as Trixie would love to, you are supposed to play party games at a party, and in a house, are you not?"
>Why's she trying to be all wordy now?
"Alright cool, I pick dare"
>You hear Trixie sigh
>"Trixie dares you to be nice to her"
"Impossible dares aren't allowed"
>"It's very possible! Just try it"
"Fine."
>You stay quiet for 10 seconds before saying
"I can't, but I tried"
>"Whatever. Trixie chooses truth"
"Is it true you have a lot of hentai themed around childhood friends?"
>This was a complete guess
>But you hit something
>Gold. Pure gold
>"Pffft! Silly Anon. T-trixie does not... uh... well she does not... have anything of the sort!"
"Very convincing. I pick Truth."
>Trixie rubs her hands together
>"Would you take me as your first?"
>You think for a bit
"Yes. Yes I would."
>"Ahehe. Trixie kn-"
"I'd make it really special too, since it'd be my first. Maybe get candles and rose petals"
>Trixie giggles
"Yeah. I'd also invest in a nice meat cleaver to make sure I got rid of the body properly"
>"Wait... what are you talking about?"
"My first kill right?"
>"That wasn't what Trixie was referring to at all!"
"Well what was she referring to?"
>"S-Se... you know..." she starts 

"I don't think I do. Seh? Seh what?"
>"The thing... um... when two people..."
"Dance?"
>"No! Trixie means the thing that happens... in the bedroom."
"Sleep?"
>"N-YES! YES! Will you sleep with Trixie!?" She asks
"Nah. It'd be uncomfortable, plus human mattresses seem dangerous. Also, I kinda sleep every night, so it wouldn't be my first"
>Trixie sighs
>"Trixie's prudish linguistic skills are a gift and a curse..."
"Just cuss already"
>"The Great and Powerful Trixie does NOT have problems using profanity! It is simply the context of this situation that makes her unable to speak!" She explains
"Just kinda sounds like tism to me"
>Man this is really fun
>You're usually really nice and even a little formal with Trixie
>This was a nice change of pace
>It gave you this endless dopamine cycle
>Get Trixie mad
>She goes autistic
>You laugh
>Throw in some sexual banter to hit her heartstrings
>Repeat
>You never thought to actually go with the autism yourself
>Even if you are poking at it big time
>Shit's fun
"I pick dare"
>"Hmm..."
>Trixie thinks for a bit
"I can just kiss you if ya want me to"
>Trixie chuckles
>"Don't be a child, Immature Anon, for Trixie knows kisses are only for booboos and emergencies"
"Booboos? Are you five?"
>"No. Trixie is NOT five. She is simply wise" she smugly tells
"I can't help but doubt that"
>"Trixie does not care what you think! Trixie commands you to kiss her hand!" She stops walking 

"A Kiss? Wonder where you got that idea from"
>Trixie turns around to face you
>"Hush! It is I who came up with this dare! And it is possible!"
"Fine, but did you at least wash your hands before we left school"
>"Trixie NEVER forgets to wash her hands! Especially when it comes to those sickly public school restrooms"
"Fine"
>Trixie holds out her hand
>You cover her hand with both of yours
>You slowly bring it up to your face
>She's expecting a weak kiss
>Not this time
>You slide your right hand below your left and bring her hand closer to you
>Like it were water in your hands
>And the second before it reaches your lips you drop on one knee
>You give a hearty kiss and hear a mighty SMACK ring out 
>Mogged, destroyed, fucking dominated knucklehead
>You finally rise up and take a look at Trixie's face
>She's beet red
>Her face is twisted into a weird mishmash of happiness, fear, disgust, and maybe a little something extra
>She's practically heaving too
>She looks at her hand
>She flips it around a few times
>She even gives it a sniff
>What a weirdo
"Uh... having fun there?"
>Trixie looks at you and realizes what she's been doing
>"Yes. That was... satisfactory. Your tresspasses against Trixie are forgiven" She turns around quickly and starts skipping
"That was easy"
>Trixie remains silent as she continues skipping
>You follow behind her
"Truth or dare?"
>"I think Trixie's done playing. She's already won!" She swoons in a way that makes you think you weren't supposed to hear it
>A moment of silence passes before your homes are finally in sight 

>Weird
>The walk felt shorter than usual
>It was fun seeing Trixie all bashful and flustered
>Must've made time fly
>Today's been weird
>"Well, Naïve Anon, it seems our journey is coming to an end" Trixie says
"We live right next to eachother, so not really"
>"That... is true."
>You two get closer to your respective houses
>"Trixie must admit, she had some fun today"
"Yeah..."
>"And it is nice to be home early"
>Trixie thinks for a moment
>"Trixie will forgive you for saying all those mean things"
"Nice"
>"But, she will also not be going to your house today, like she normally does on Fridays"
>Not the worst thing to happen to you
>"She also does not forgive you humiliating her in front of her peers!"
>Trixie stops in front of her house and turns to you
>"But you are welcome to... negotiate with Trixie, for she is as forgiving as she is magnificent!" She strikes a pose
>"Though this option is only available so long as Anonymous the Bully isnt brash nor rude to Trixie, the Great and Powerful" Trixie explains
"Fine, fine. We can negotiate peace terms right now if you'd like"
>"Alright. Allow Trixie to allow you passage into her domain"
>Trixie runs up to her door and fidgets with a lock 
>"BEHOLD!"
>She opens the door to her own house
>You quietly walk into her home
>She shuts the door behind you both
"It's just your house you know. We're well acquainted."
>"Quiet! You are at the mercy of Trixie's will in her realm."
>She points toward the couch directly to your left
>You sigh and take a seat on said couch
>Trixie takes a seat next to you 

>Like, really close to you
>You can feel her breathing on you
"Personal space?"
>"Do you not like it when Trixie blesses you with her presence?"
"Am I not blessed enough already?"
>"Nobody is ever truly blessed enough"
"Right. Anyway, peace and their terms."
>Trixie moves away from your face
>"Ah yes. Very simple: Queen Trixie and her kingdom are in need of a King"
>You laugh
>"You dare laugh in the face of Trixie?!"
"Yeah, actually"
>Trixie's face sours
"Stop trying so hard, will ya? It hurts"
>"Trixie does not know what you mean" she crosses her arms and looks away
"Look. Just say what you're trying to say, but normal"
>She looks at you with fire in her eyes
>"Trixie wants to have a beautiful relationship with Anonymous that blossoms into an everlasting marriage where we make many children and die to-"
"Normal."
>Trixie sighs
>"Trixie... would..."
>Her face is getting red
"Hmm?"
>"Trixie would... like... if maybe... youcoulnwenyou..." she starts mumbling
"What?"
>Trixie breathes sharply
>"Trixie-would-like-to-go-out-with-you"
"I'm proud of you"
>She scoffs in response
>You knew this was bound to happen eventually
>Trixie certainly wasn't getting any guys chasing her
>Just like you were't chasing down any girls
>You look at Trixie
>She's looking to the side
>Her face is red again
>She notices you staring at her
>"C-could you please answer Trixie's question? It's rude to keep a lady waiting" 
>Ok. Maybe autistic girls are your 'thing' 

>You put your hand on Trixie's shoulder
"Did you know that 90% of rapes start with a hand on the shoulder?"
>She looks at your hand
>"No..." she starts
>She puts a hand on your shoulder
>"But if you don't answer soon, Trixie will aid in that number's growth" she smiles
"Hmm..."
>Trixie looks anxious
"Sure. I'll humor myself"
>Trixie sighs in relief
>"Trixie would've felt very emberassed had you had said no" 
>She motions to the hand on your shoulder
>You both take your hands off of eachother
"Yeah yeah. But one thing: if I think it isn't going to work out, will you be ok with splitting up?"
>Trixie laughs
>"No, but Trixie knows you'll have nobody else to fall back on. Even if you did, they couldnt possibly be as Great, Powerful or... 'autistic' as muah" she poses with a smug smile
"Ouch"
>"Also we're neighbors. Trixie imagines it'll be heartbreaking if our parents saw us apart, one of us grieving and bawling their eyes out, while the other pursues a very successful career in magic"
>You smirk
"You're making it seem like i'm making a mistake here"
>"Do not fret. This is all hypothetical of course, for Trixie will not let love falter! She will use necromancy if it means keeping the remains of her passion alive!"
"You have to work on being normal-er"
>"Don't act so coy, loverboy. You know you like Trixie's demeanor" she runs a few fingers under your chin 

>Then Trixie smirks and stands up
>"Well then. Now that Trixie has conquered and seized your love, it is time for you to go."
"Really?"
>"Yes. Trixie has to make some... adjustments to her quarters"
"You totally have pictures of me in your room, dont you?"
>"Yes. Yes Trixie does" She smiles
>"But you'll never know what KIND of pictures" her face turns red and her smile turns smug
"Gross. How did you even get anything on me? I'm clean"
>"Thin curtains work best when ALL sources of light are off" Trixie states
>You wince
"Alright it was nice talking to you. We are never talking about these particular subjects again. Does that sound good to you?"
>You get up off the couch
>"Naturally" Trixie looks at you with bedroom eyes
>"Also, I have to explain this whole situation to my parents without coming off as weird"
"Oh, but Trixie, you're so normal to begin with!"
>"Har dee har dee haw. You're lucky you're cute, Loverboy."
"Yeah yeah. You too, Landing Strip."
>"Trixie does not understand what that means"
>You walk past Trixie and to her door
>And prepare to give one last goodbye
>You open the door slightly
>Trixie walks up to you again
>You turn around
>And point at her chest
>"The joke is, you have small boobs. Flat enough for planes to land on."
>And with that, you're off 

>You walk out the door and onto the sidewalk
>Trixie reveals herself and blows a kiss at you
>You blow one back
>You walk up to your front door
>You look to your right
>Trixie is still watching you
>She looks like she's dreaming
>You fiddle with your keys and open the door
>Home sweet home
>You walk into your room and lie down on your bed
>You look around
>Today was crazy
>You went from bullying your only friend to kinda going out with her
>This must've all been a part of some plan of hers
>How are you going to explain this day to your parents?
>You look at some curtains parallel to Trixie's house
>Through the flimsy cloth you see a familiar autist's face
>Wow she's probably seen a lot
>You should probably replace those
>Or invite her over next time you do something worth watching
The End