>there are no heroes in a punk rock band >but damn if you don't feel like one >the atmosphere is just right for it >tonight, the band is Red Ring >when the band is Red Ring, it's Sweet Heart on bass >Green Hawk on drums >Honeydew on lead vocals >and you >you're on lead guitar >the fact that you never learned how to play guitar is, of course, no problem for you >some might say the way your fingers strike the chords is random and haphazard >but the ponies out there in the audience >they get it >they understand >that randomness >that chaos >it's precisely what makes Red Ring worth watching >as the night goes on, your hands find a simple melody that pleases you >you spend the rest of the night experimenting with different variations on it, adjusting the sequence as your bandmates' music moves you >unconstrained by the formality of meters and notes, what you're channeling is pure music >pure power >sure, it's true; when you step off this stage you'll be just a freakishly tall and bipedal lowlife >but right now >yeah >you feel like a hero >but no music, not even yours, can be completely without order >every performance of every song is different, but the lyrics have to stay the same >it's just not possible to go into a song as though you don't know how to sing >and yes, you've tried >the final words of the song pass through Honeydew's lips >the song comes to an end >you finish it off by repeating your melody one last time, striking the strings as hard as possible >a climactic finale >and then >it's over >after the show, you find yourself in the bar area of the Kanterlot Klub >your place on stage has been taken by a band called Spooky Parrot >Hawk and Dew are making out in a corner >Heart is laughing her ass off and surrounded by stallions >and you >you're just chilling by the bar >your shitty drink in one hand and the band's beaten guitar propped up in the other >it's moments like this >the calm after a performance >despite the surging life and sounds around you >no, not despite it >because of it >the atmosphere is peace itself >you take another sip from your battery acid flavored drink >and then >it happens <"Um, excuse me." "Hm?" >you look down >there's a little purple unicorn staring up at you with wide eyes "What's up?" <"I, um, well, I actually, you see, um-" >Sweet Heart's voice cracks into you from across the bar like lightning /"Yeah, Anon, get it!" >the little unicorn looks down and begins to stammer twice as hard <"Oh, I, um, I didn't mean, I didn't mean it like, I mean I'm not trying to-" "Relax. She's just giving me shit." >you pat the barstool next to yours "You look like you wanna talk about something." <"Yes, I um, I do." >she clambers up onto the stool >you swing around to face into the bar >she, after hesitating for a moment, follows your lead >the bartender is way down at the other end of the bar yelling at somebody over something >for now, at least, you should be safe from too much attention "So, what's up?" >she takes a deep breath <"Well, I don't mean to be terribly rude, but, um, what exactly are you?" "Me? I'm lots of things. I'm a hard rocker, I'm a tender lover, I'm a starving artist, I'm a warrior poet, I'm a..." >your voice trails off as the expression on the unicorn's face changes from wide-eyed and nervous to disdainful and cringing <"Uh, no, that's what I mean. What I mean is-" >she roughly prods your hand with her hoof <"What. Are you?" "Oh, that." >you pick up your hand and stare at it for a moment "We called ourselves humans back where I came from." <"And where did you come from?" >you shrug "Dunno." <"What? How can you not know?" "I mean, I could describe it for you if you want, but I couldn't tell you how to get there. One second I was just some kid coming home from my first day at high school, the next second I was lost in downtown Canterlot. That was maybe, uh, ten-ish years ago." <"You've been here for ten years?" "More or less." <"How come I never heard about you until yesterday?" >you shrug "Can't expect the band to get famous overnight." <"No, I mean, you're a fascinating specimen." "Hey, thanks. You're pretty interesting too." <"I mean scientifically. There's no description of anything like you in any records I could find." "Oh." >you take another sip from your shitty drink "Hey, just out of curiosity, who told you about me?" >she frowns and gestures with her horn at a white unicorn with a pink mane, staring and giggling at you with couple other unicorn mares "I see." <"So I'd like to get some sort of description of you submitted to the scientific community if I can." "What do I get out of it?" <"Ten bits." "Sold. When do we start?" <"Uh, not right now. Where can I get a hold of you?" "I'm... not sure, actually. I was planning on staying with some friends, but, uh..." >Hawk and Dew's makeout session has gotten very hot and heavy "I don't think they're gonna want any company tonight." <"Wait. Do you not have a place to stay?" "Eh, not exactly." >the purple unicorn jumps down from the barstool and gestures at the exit with her horn >a chorus of hoots and hollers erupts from throughout the Klub >she ignores it <"Stay with me tonight." "Gee, lady, we don't even know each other's names." <"I'm Twilight Sparkle, you're Anonymous. Let's go." >the next morning sees you descending the steps from some sort of library tower in uptown Canterlot, dead tired >as you come around the corner, you spot the three unicorn mares who sent Twilight your way last night /"Ah, this one's mine." >Sweet Heart comes trotting from around the other corner "Geez, Heart, were you camping here for me?" /"Damn right. Now tell me everything." >you shoot a sidelong glance at Twilight's friends >and you get an idea >you pull a small bag from your pocket and jingle it around a bit "Got ten bits." >Heart's jaw goes slack /"She paid you for it?" "Oh yeah." >Twilight's friends unleash a scandalized gasp and dash up the stairs >you grin at Sweet Heart "She asked me a lot of questions about my biology, took a lot of notes, said she was gonna submit a paper to some science organization. The whole thing was strictly professional." >Heart takes a second to digest this >glances up the stairs >and laughs /"You're a dick, Anon." "Yeah. We getting ready for the battle of the bands tonight?" /"Uh, no? We never practice; you know that. It's not our way." "I didn't mean practice. I meant dick around at Hawk and Dew's place til the show." /"Oh. Yeah, totally. Let's go." >a few minutes later you're greeted at the door by a wild-eyed Green Hawk >something's got him excited >really excited ~"Anon! Heart! Yo, what's up?" "Sounds like we should be asking you that." ~"Dude! Dew and I have got big news for you guys." >Hawk looks over his shoulder and calls into his apartment ~"Dew! Anon and Heart are here!" >a call from within answers _"Well, let them in!" >Hawk gestures in with his wing ~"Yo, come on in!" >you and Heart follow Hawk inside, and he leads you to where his marefriend is sitting over a cup of tea at the breakfast table >Honeydew smiles _"Hi Heart, hi Anon. So, yeah, we've got some big news." /"Well don't keep us waiting any longer, what is it?" >Hawk and Dew share a sappy grin >and Dew lifts her chin up a little _"I'm pregnant." ~"And we're getting married." >you feel a big smile crack into your face "Nice! That's awesome." ~"Dude! I know!" /"Uh." >Heart falters /"So are we still good for the battle of the bands tonight?" >Hawk frowns ~"Yeah. Yeah, we should be, right?" >Dew cocks her head _"I don't see why not." /"Okay, but, um, what about, you know, later? In the future?" >it dawns on you what Sweet Heart is getting at "I mean, geez, we gotta let them live their lives, Heart." >and then you see the realization hit the faces of Green Hawk and Honeydew: >a baby is a lot of work >more than likely too much work to be dicking around with an amateur punk rock band every night _"Well, it doesn't have to be the end of the band, exactly." ~"No, yeah, totally. We can still play sometimes. Just, uh, maybe not as much." /"Yeah." >a silence hangs over a kitchen for a moment >and you feel the atmosphere >and it feels all wrong >so naturally >you do something to fix it "I mean, shit, you guys, what the hell are you getting upset about? You guys are having a baby. This is great!" >Honeydew breaks back into a smile first _"It is, isn't it?" "Hell yeah. We've all had each other's backs for, what, ten years now? I don't see how something as awesome as that could ever ruin what we've got." >smiles break out in the kitchen again >and the atmosphere becomes just right >that night sees you hanging out once more in the bar area of the Kanterlot Klub >the battle of the bands is over >Red Ring got second place >and that >is pretty cool >Green Hawk and Honeydew are sitting in the corner sharing a soda >the winners of the battle, Screaming Grasslands, are performing up on the stage >the lead guitarist is a unicorn >you watch the way she plucks the strings with her aura >there's a definite pattern to what she's doing >and you have to concede: >maybe you'd be a better guitarist if you actually learned how to play >though you hate to admit it, there's probably something to be said for order and reason >even in art >someone climbs into the barstool next to you /"Anon." "Yeah?" /"What happened to us?" "What do you mean?" /"You. Me. Hawk. Dew. Everything's all... different now." "Yeah." >you take a sip from your battery-acid flavored drink >and you let the atmosphere take you >your tranquility remains undisturbed when someone else climbs into the barstool on the other side of you <"Mr. Anonymous?" "Yeah?" <"So I submitted what you told me to the Canterlot Scientific Society, and they're interested in hearing more." "Like what?" <"Everything, really. Your culture, how you got here, what sorts of magics you're familiar with." "Sounds good. What's in it for me?" <"Twenty bits." "Need more than that." <"What? What more do you want?" "Some honest work, for starters." <"What do you mean?" "I mean, I've got a few marketable skills. I can reach high-up places and stuff." <"You mean you want employment?" "Yeah. That'd be cool." <"Tell you what. I've heard the Canterlot Archives are looking for an assistant bookkeeper. You talk to me, I talk to them." "Sounds good. You still at that library tower thing?" <"Yes." "I'll swing by tomorrow." >after that, Twilight spends a few seconds nodding >and she walks off >you lean back and let loose a sigh >Heart's head lolls over to look at you >and she hits you with a dull gaze /"Anon." "Yeah?" /"Did you just get a job?" "Yeah." /"Bruh." >you shrug "Had to be done. I can't crash at Hawk and Dew's place forever." >Sweet Heart grabs your drink and takes a sip from it /'"Man, what happened to us?" "Dunno."