>”Squirt? You okay in there?”
>Your name is Scootaloo
>And you are WAY too high
“Uh, yeah! Doing great!”
>Woah
>You swear words usually don’t sound like that
>Or feel like that
>“You sure, kiddo? You were out way later than… I was pretty worr- I mean, I wasn’t WORRIED worried, but…”
>Buck, Scoots, focus!
>You roll off your back (and break eye contact with the ceiling that’s definitely moving more than any cloud house should) to glance over at your bedside clock
>Between the signed Spitfire cap you got last weekend and your [spoiler]pink diary[/spoiler] magenta journal, your fate sits in bright red magical numbering
>[2 AM]
>Aw mare, you said you’d be home hours ago
>Between that and your super-lame “hey mom, what’s up, hope work was good, g’night!” on the way in the house, you're kinda boned
>You’re high as clit and you gotta fess up
>Face the music
>”… So, what I guess I’m trying to say is, can I come in?”
>Okay, you totally didn’t hear ANY of that
>Quick, just say something!
“Uh, sure! Sure, yeah.”
>“… Okay then.”
>Wait, did she say she was coming in?
>You're in no state for this!
>The door opens and Rainbow Dash trots in, still in her Wonderbolt formals
>Black tie, lead pony medal, her office duds
>Can’t wear the flight suit everywhere you guess, even though it’s literally the coolest thing ever
>Heh, if you’d seen her wearing that back when you were a kid you woulda creamed
>N-not that you’re a filly fooler or anything!
>”Hey kiddo, I, ah…”
>Oh thank the sisters she’s talking now
>She sits down on your bed, just next to you
>Not like usual though, she’s a little further away
>A forehoof hovers over your leg, as if to give it a pat
>It moves away
>Okay, something’s wrong
>You’re way too high but something is wrong
>She’s looking at you like…
>Oh no
>Is she disappointed?
>She’s totally disappointed.
>Why would she be disappointed?
>Is it because you’re late and high and OH BUCK SHE TOTALLY KNOWS YOU'RE HIGH
>She knows!
>She knows how stoned you are and she -
>”-that okay?”
>What
>What did she just say
>Has she been talking this whole time
>You stare, not knowing if another blind “Uh, mmm hmm!” will spell your doom
>”Awesome! I’ll be right back.”
>She trots out of the room, pop definitely in her trot
>Maybe you just imagined it, but you think you can detect a relieved huff down the hall
>Okay, let’s think
>She’s getting something and seems kind of happy now but you have to just stay cool
>She CAN’T know for sure
>Wait, didn’t you say you had to fess up?
>Augh, this is so confusing!
>It’s hard to think straight like this
>Breathe
>…
>Okay, no, apologizing upfront sounds good
>Let’s retrace our trots here Scoots
>Figure out exactly how to frame it so it doesn’t sound like it’s your fault you’re such a buckup
>Yeah, that’s right! Trick her into thinking you’re actually a good pony!
>Applebloom would hate to hear you talking like that, but sometimes ya gotta cut the wheat to beat the heat
>Heh heh heh, that’s pretty funny actually
>Cut the hay to beat the -
>”HEY SCOOTALOO! I’M HAVING TROUBLE FINDING IT, JUST GIMME A MINUTE!”
>Rainbow’s booming “living room voice” tethers you back to reality
>Found it?
>What’s she finding?
>Is it something to -
>No, she’d never do that
>… Right?
>…
>Crud, okay, focus
>Retrace your trots
>So… What happened again?
>Okay okay okay, let’s start from the top
>You finished the concert
>No cutie mark, but you already got it like two years ago on your scooter so you weren’t expecting anything
>Just having fun with your friends
>Drumming’s fun enough anyway
>If you were good at it that is
>Buck, you’re about as good at drumming as anything else
>Meaning, you’re bad
>Real, real bad
>Nonono stop, bad thought
>See? Bad at THINKING
>No
>Breathe, focus
>You root around in your bedsheets before finding your stuffed Rainbow Dash the Wonderbolt™
>She always helps to calm you down
>When you’re not really really worried about making sure she still likes you, that is
>Which is… most of the time
>…
>Okay, what happened next?
>Afterwards, you all decided to head back to Sweetie’s and celebrate
>Rarity was out of town so no “adult supervision”
>Maybe that’s it?
>Rarity was gone, so of course you couldn’t be trusted to stay sober!
>Nah, that’s a terrible excuse
>You’re old enough to know better
>Dash’d see right through you
>She’d know that you’re a fraud AND a liar
>Okay, moving on
>You were all hanging out
>You, Sweetie, AB, Rum-
>“YO SCOOTS! IT MIGHT BE A WHILE, I CAN’T FIND THIS THING!”
>More time, that’s good
“UH, THAT’S FINE!”
>Wow, that sounded almost normal
>Maybe you’re coming down?
>You wave your hoof in front of your face
>Come to think of it, your hoof is looking pretty nice right now
>All orange and stuff
>… Alright, still pretty high
>What were you saying?
>Oh yeah, Sweetie’s place
>You sit up and put stuffed Rainbow Dash down on your journal to stand guard
>Who brought the brownies?
>It was one of the colts, right? Was it Featherweight?
>No, it was definitely Rumble, you remember he said he got them from his brother
>So, the six of you were just hanging out and Rumble brought it up
>Maybe you could say he forced you to eat them!
>Nah, you can’t blame him, he’s too sweet for that
>Besides, if Dash thought you were trying to throw one of your friends under the bus, what would she think of you?
>You know what she’d think?
>She’d think “Wow, what a terrible pony.”
>And the thing is
>She’d be right
>”AH, FOUND IT!”
>AUGH BUCKBUCKBUCK
>You’re okay, you’re okaaaaay
>You pull your head under the blanket and groan
>Look, what else can you say
>Peer pressure?
>If that were true then Dinky would’ve eaten some too
>You hear a clop at the bottom of the hardcloud stairs
>You didn’t know what was in them?
>Rumble’s too honest for that!
>The hoofsteps have made it to the back of the hallway
>Maybe he didn’t know either!
>Clop
>Yeah! None of us did!
>Clop
>No! She’ll know!
>Clop
>You don’t know how but she’ll know!
>Clop
>Face it Scootaloo
>Clop
>You’re terrible
>Clop
>Garbage
>Clop
>A pathetic loser waste of space who’d rather weasel her way out of taking responsibility than mare up and admit to herself how much she doesn’t deserve to live
>Clop
>Whatever Rainbow’s about to do
>Clop
>You deserve it
>Clop
>You deserve it
>Clop
>You-
>“Hey, sorry that took so long! I left it by the front door after work but then I thought you were sleeping over somewhere so I put it in my desk.”
>…
>What?
>That tone was not what you were expecting
>It sounded... Grateful?
>”Hey, are you okay in there? Heh, you pretending to be Tank or something?”
>Tentatively, you bring your head up out of the blanket
>The first thing you notice are Rainbow’s eyes
>Her eyes you had expected even less
>They’re full of warmth, concern
>Next you look lower down on her face and spot what she’s holding in her mouth
>It’s a card
>It sports big bubble letters that get thinner at the right side of the paper, as if the author didn't plan out their spacing:
>[I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your concert…]
>Rainbow slowly clops over to your bedside and spits out the card
>For some reason, seeing her stand there so genuinely concerned for you hurts a little, even though you can’t tell why
>”Well? You gonna read it?”
>With a trembling hoof and upset stomach (partly from the drugs, but also something else you can’t quite identify) you pick up the card and gingerly open it
>On the left side you spot, in the same bubble font:
>[… But I know that you ROCKED! <3]
>Below the heart is a purple-maned stickpony next to what appears to be a drumkit
>There’s a note on the right side
>You feel a tightness rise up in your chest
>Oh Goddesses
>[Hey Squirt! So I know I said last night that I couldn’t come to your big concert, and it seemed like that bummed you out a bit, so I wanted to do something nice. I’m not so great at the whole “apologizing” thing (and maybe not the whole “mom/sister” thing either…) but I’ve been realizing lately how much you kinda deserve to hear it from me, so I'm sorry. I know we just went last weekend but I promise to take you backstage next show, maybe we could hang out with Fleetfoot again?]
>[Also, I know we both hate the mushy stuff but I]
>Something’s scratched out
>[Anyway, yeah, I’m writing this at work because I’m assuming you’ll be home by the time High Winds and I are out of the office. Just wanted to say you’re really the most awesome filly I know -RD :)]
>[P.S. You’re not a filly, sorry for calling you one. You’ll always be “squirt” to me, but you’re totally a mare haha]
>You look up at her
>She’s sitting back next to you, her hoof over your leg in an affectionate gesture
>You want to tell her how it’s totally okay that she couldn’t make it
>How you totally are a filly
>How you know that she loves you even if she couldn’t write it
>But none of those are what you say
“Rainbow Dash?”
>”Yeah, Scootaloo?”
“… I... REALLY wanna die.”
>She just stares at you, mouth slightly ajar
>”… What? What do you-“
”I want to die. I hate myself. I want to-“
>”Oh my Goddesses, squirt, I-"
“I want to die! I don’t deserve to bucking live I HATE MYSELF I-“
>Rainbow pulls you into a hug, the tightest of your life, and your wetted face feels like it’s exploding
“I WANT TO DIE! I’m so bucking pathetic I don’t deserve you to like me and I’m such a BUCKUP piece of shit but I d-don’t know why I feel this way and I wanted to apologize because I’m so- so bucking high and like they were brownies and- and Rumble gave- but Rarity wasn’t- or- or but but but I c-couldn’t think of a way to say it without you being m-mad at me an an and I really want you to like me b-but I’m a bad pony and it’s all my f-f-fault and I d-don’t deserve you liking me and I’m- I’m- I’m- I'm sohorryyyyyy…”
>Your screams move slowly into unintelligible gurgles against your idol’s shoulder as she cradles you back and forth, shushing you while petting your mane
>In a moment of unexpected clarity between feeble moans and gasps for air, you note that Rainbow would make a great mother
>It takes a moment, but you finally get the hang of containing yourself
>You’ve moved down to only the occasional sniffle as she continues to brush down the back of your head 
>Gosh this is embarrassing, you totally got snot and stuff all over her coat
>It feels… nice to be hugged, though
“I’m, uh… I’m okay, I, uh…”
>You snort up a loose strand of snot and Rainbow giggles
>”Feels good to let it out, right?”
“Mmm hmm…”
>You stay there for what feels like hours
>”… Okay, a couple things.”
>She breaks the embrace and looks you in the eyes
>“Number one, and this is the most important…”
>She ruffles your mane
>”I love you, ya dingus.”
>You stare 
>“You said you don’t deserve it, but you do. You ALWAYS deserve to have friends, and you ALWAYS deserve to have me. You could kill somepony and I’d be right there in your corner at the trial, so don’t you EVER say I don’t love you like a sister.”
>You want to smile, but you can’t help but grimace as that feeling in your chest comes back
“I… I know what you’re saying is true, I KNOW it’s true in my head, but… it’s just so hard to believe.”
>”I get the feeling I don’t say it enough. I ALSO get the feeling that you need somepony to talk to who’s actually trained in this sorta stuff, so number two, we’re getting you a psychiatrist.”
>A psychiatrist?
”… You think I'm a pony that needs one of those?”
>”Hey maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but… Alright squirt, I haven’t told many ponies this so keep it on the down low, but when I was in college I was really sad. Like, really REALLY sad. So, my parents said I should talk to someone about it, and for a while I met with a therapist every other week.”
>This is blowing your mind?
>Rainbow Dash?
>In therapy?
>”Number three.”
>She pokes you in the chest with her hoof, looking you dead in the eye with an intensity you were shocked even SHE had
>”You HAVE to tell me or somepony you trust when you’re feeling like this. I know it’s hard, my ego's even bigger than yours, but nopony help you if you don't tell them you're hurting. Even if I've got the entire team watching my back during a maneuver, it's not my job to act the hero. It's my job to say "Hey, my wing's about to lock up." Can you promise me that? If I promise to have your back, you'll tell me if you don't think you can get through a stunt on your own?”
>She crosses her hoof in front of her chest before placing it over her eye 
>You do the same and Rainbow gives a huge grin that even after everything you can't help but mirror
>”… Well, thank gosh then.”
>She wraps you in another hug just before you get a glance of her mischievous smirk
>”… You know… I could’ve just gotten you high if you’d asked.”
“Wait, what?”
>”Yeah! Nothin' wrong with it every once in a while. Heck, me and Anon are getting crossed next weekend. Hey, if you want, you should come with. We could show you how to get messed up without getting ‘Messed Up,’ you know?”
>…
>…
>Oh you have GOT to be kidding