Post number/s: 31200658; 31200659; 31200662; 31200665;
Related image/s: 31189211;
Original author: Blasted Cannon !1pgBOLBb.g

“no... I want the pink and blue roller kite… not the orange sode kite…”
“What do you mean they’re equal? I’ve heard enough of this equality bullshit... roller kites trot all over sodes…. sodes are too rectangular and artsy…”
>BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP SCREEEECH RUUURRRUMP
>BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP
“AARRGH”
>You kick your blanket off of you with your hind legs, almost falling out of your bed in the process
>Luckily its a queen sized bed. But you’re alone tonight.
“Hmpf”
>You cover your face with your pillow with your fore legs
>Cursed alarm clock, what did you ever do?
>To it, specifically. You’ve done a lot of shit in your life to deserve this
>Less than 30 seconds later you throw the pillow off your face and sit up
>Today’s the day
>You’ve had it marked on your calendar for months
>You’ve been counting down the days yet you still somehow forgot
>You hop out of bed and trot over to the window
>Still dark, but you’re not sure for how long
>You have a long, emotional day ahead of you so that’s ok
>Today, they come
>You nibble on your right hoof just thinking about it
>They didn’t come already right???
>You rush out of your bedroom
>You’ve been staying in Princess Twilight’s castle for well over two years now and you still get lost often
>You pass by the kitchen
>You look down to your tummy
>”Grugurgrpgurrghghghg”
>You could definitely go for a bowl of oats
>Alas, time is ticking Starlight!
>”But time was never a problem for you Starlight!” tells your brain
“Shut Up brain! You torment me about that stuff enough!”
>Ohshit you said that outloud
>Quiet loudly too
>The only other residents of the castle are Princess Twilight, of course, and her pet-er… assistant Spike. Yeah, her loyal assistant Spike the dragon!
>As well as your partner Anon
>He’s a biped, almost like a hairless ape. It's quite exotic
>But that’s not all, his personality compliments you greatly, and he really cares about you, as you do in return
>But he’s away on a guy’s weekend in Fillydelphia with Big Mac and Twilight’s brother Shining Armor
>Quite a weird pairing of characters desu
>Regardless, if either of them heard you talking to yourself at 4AM they’d think you’re crazy!
>”You ARE crazy Starlight! You are INSANE! Embrace it!”
“ssSHU---”
>You manage to stop yourself this time
>Nope, not falling for it again brain

>Ignoring your hunger, you trot past the kitchen and into the basement
>Well, it's technically a dungeon of the sorts, but it dubs as a basement
>Why would the princess of friendship have prisoners?
>You trot down the creaky wood steps into the basement
>Why are these steps creaky and made of wood anyway? This place just kinda spewed out of the earth brand new
>And the rest of this place is made out of crystal. What gives?
~
>There it is, straight ahead of you
>You utilized one of the prison cages to keep it safe from any potential thieves
>It’s just a bluff though, the lock isn’t locked
>You pull the lock apart with your magic and head in
>It’s covered in a red blanket so it’s nice and warm
>It must get cold down here, and you want it to be comfortable
>You pull off the blanket with your mouth
>There it is
>You take a good look at it. You don’t have many left
>It’s your prized possession, a round, magenta pole
>You don’t really like calling it your possession though, you saw each other as equals
>You run your hoof up and down it
>A mile wide smile grows across your face
>Pole was not for sexual, don’t worry
>Only Anon was
>Today, they take your pole
>Today, they take the most important thing in your life
>Sorry, Anon
>Twilight said she had enough of the pole’s shit
>You think she’s just jealous, she wishes anypony loved her the way you love Mr. Pole
>But Twilight’s the Princess, and what the princess says goes
>You ought to be a princess by now too
>You’ve saved Equestria a hoof full of times, and are close with Celestia and Luna
>You try to spread your wings, but alas, you have none
“Hmmpf”
>You let air out of your snout
>Anon’s completely against the idea for some reason too
>In fact, he gets really angry whenever the idea is brought up
>”REEEEE WINGS” is among one of his common phrases
>What a kind stallionfriend am I right?
>Anon likes Pole though
>He says it reminds him of a community he used to partake in back where he came from
>You used to be a part of a community too
>In fact, you led it
“STO-”
>You really need to get these thoughts out of your head
>You wrap your front hooves around the pole in a hug
>You close your eyes in remembrance
>All the good times you had with your pole here
>You try to hold back tears
>You’re a strong mare Starlight, don’t do it
>...
>Nope, you’re weak and deep down you know it
>You start bawling
>Twilight’s a bitch
>What a princess of friendship she is, taking away your best friend
“Sniff-sniff-snnn”
>Great now your snoot is running
>You’re a fucking mess
>You give your snoot a boop to try and stop it
>It doesn’t do much
>All the memories start rushing back
>You tighten your grip and let the tears flow
>.........
>You see a blinding light through your eyelids, as if Celestia herself is raising the sun directly in front of you
>”...Starlight???”
>ohfuck you recongize that voice
>Instinctively you poof away with your horn
>”Starlight… it's a pole, I can see you behind it”
>Foiled again!
>With no respect for yourself, you jump in front of the princess’s hooves and beg like a peasant
“Twilight… please! You don’t know what it’s like to have a friend like Mr. Pole! You can’t just take him away because you never felt this feeling!”
>Twilight grabs your chin with her hoof and pulls it up so you are looking directly into her eyes
>”First of all, you look pathetic Starlight. Have you looked at yourself? Your eyes are bloodshot. Your eyelashes are crusty. Your coat is covered in tears”
>Your only response is to blink a couple times
>”Second of all, you’re going to tell me, Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship, that I don’t know what it’s like to have a friend?!”
>”This is exactly what’s going to happen. The trash ponies are upstairs. After this conversation I’m going to call them down. They are going to take your dumb pole, and life will go on. You hear me?”
>You’re not going down this easy
“I’LL CHAIN MYSELF TO IT TWILIGHT! IF YOU TAKE MY POLE TO THE DUMP, YOU TAKE ME TO!”
>”No objections. One less mouth to feed.”
>This is it!
>You run back over to your pole
“I’m going to miss you pole. I’m sure Anon will to. You were good, real good, maybe even the best”
>You could almost hear Twilight role her eyes
>”Come on down boys!”
>You once again tighten your grip around the pole
>“It’s time to go now Starlight”
“Just another minute”
>You expected your request to be honored. Instead, you got tossed across the room in the form of levitation
“TWILIGHT STOP”
>She’s restraining you
>You can’t move
>You can only sit there and watch as your pole is unlatched from the ground and carried out the room
>You’re squirming and crying
>”You are CRAZY Starlight! You are INSANE! Embrace it!”
>”You are INSANE Starlight!”
>”YOU’VE WASTED THE LAST TWO YEARS HERE”
>”YOU’RE INSANE! YOU’RE CRAZY! IT’S WHO YOU ARE!”
>”YOU’RE INSANE!”
>”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
>“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
>”YOU’RE INSANE!”
>”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
>“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
>”YOU’RE INSANE!”
>”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
>“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
>”YOU’RE INSANE!”
>”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
>“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
“I’m insane”
“I’m crazy”
“I’m a psychopath”
“I’M INSANE!”
“I’M CRAZY!”
“I’M A PSYCHOPATH!”
“I EMBRACE IT!”

(Archiver's note: Another 404 in the pastebin.)