>You’re sitting on your red, worn couch.
>Being in Equestria is often a blessing and a curse.
>A blessing because the denizens of Ponyville are adorable, but they won’t hear you admit that.
>A curse because given the anachronistic period of the world, many technologies you’re comfortable with are absent in your daily life.
>Well, scratch that.
>Being in Equestria WAS a curse.
>Due to endless waves of bitching and moaning, you manage to get Sparkle Butt to call her marefriend on the other side of the portal to set up some inter-dimensional cable.
>You were told how such a process was possible, but you tune all that bullshit out.
>Instead, you consider what human-pony world had to offer in the way of cable television. 
>So, on your busted ass couch, you fiddle with the remote.
>As you channel surf, your spirit steadily drops.
>You forgot how much TV sucked.
>You realize it would have been better to set up inter-dimensional internet.
>
>You recline into your bad-bad-no-good couch, mindlessly hitting the channel up button on your remote.
>You’re sure that you’ve passed the same hundred channels at least twice by now.
>News, Soap Opera, Cooking, Reality TV. It was all so uninteresting.
>You hear a knock at the door.
>You ignore it.
>Another knock.
>Still ignored.
>BANG!
>Without even turning your head, you already knew who it was that just kicked in the door.
>”Hiya, Nonny!” Pinkie greeted cheerfully, her hind legs still suspended in the air in a post-buck position. 
“I need you to stop kicking my door open, Ponk.”
>”But you never open the door!” Pinkie complains, letting her legs fall back to the earth. “And besides, you like when I come by~!”
“No, I don’t.” You say sternly.
>You did.
>As annoying as Pinkie could be, which is wearily often, she had the sort of charm that made it so you could never stay mad.
>Maybe it was the bright blue eyes she would flutter whenever she did something wrong?
>Maybe it was the soft, pink fur that she would wrap you in when she gave out a surprise hug?
>Maybe it was the bouncy, upbeat attitude that never failed to disarm you, even at your most enraged?
>Or maybe, just maybe, it was that ungodly thicc flank that has been the culprit of more than a couple restless nights. 
>Yeah, probably that, you degenerate.
>
>Pinkie trots over to you, stopping when she sees the alien device sitting in front of you.
>”Ooooooh~! What’s this doohickey?”
“A mistake.” You answer bluntly. “I thought it would break the monotony just a little bit but it only makes it more apparent.”
>”What do you do with it?”
“What kind of question is that? You watch the moving pictures and it makes you laugh and stuff.”
>You immediately facepalm as you just realized you said her trigger word.
>”Oh oh oh! Really?!” Pinkie’s eyes brightened. “Can I watch the mistake with you then!?”
>Pinkie gets into her usual begging pose.
>It’s one she’s perfected over the months to specifically break you.
>She sits on her hind legs and tilts her head.
>Her eyes water, almost on command, making her eyes shine brighter.
>She pouts, not to much to be disgusting. Just enough for her weird, pony lips to pucker.
>She whines very softly, like a puppy left out on a cold, Christmas Eve.
>All of this production, just to watch TV with you.
>You sigh.
“Fine, but only if you sit on the other side of the-“
>”YIPPEE~!” Pinkie springs into the air and lands right onto your lap, her cushiony tail breaking the fall.
>You still recoil in surprise.
“Damnit, Pinkie!”
>She giggles. “Sorry, Nonny. But your lap is too comfortable to NOT sit in!”
>You groan. Partly because of frustration and partly because of “frustration”.
>
>This damn, fluffy mane.
>It was blocking your entire field of view.
>You attempt to press her hair down to peer over it, but it was like pushing down a spring.
>Pinkie, of course, didn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of your struggle.
>Or maybe she was and this was her way of teasing you. 
>It wouldn’t be the only thing she was teasing.
>Of all the places to sit, why here?
>Your mind fails to draw the separation between a mare and a woman.
>Your only solace is the fact that she does pass the Harkness Test, so it shouldn’t be too bad.
>From what you can hear, you’ve landed on some cheesy b-movie flick, likely a slasher.
>It seemed as good as any channel to stop.
>Without being able to see the TV, you casually play with the floofy mane.
>The sweet smell of sugar fills your nose, like baked sweets taken straight from the oven.
>You play with the strands of hair in your hand.
>Her mane coiled around your finger, almost prehensile in nature.
>The screams of the innocent victims on the television begin to die down, as you grow more blissful.
>Unaware of your actions, you hug Pinkie tighter against you. 
>”H-huh?!” She squeaks. “What’s the matter, Nonny? Are you scared?”
>You didn’t answer, for you were lost in your own world now.
>You bury your face in her mane, sinking into it like it was quicksand.
>You breathe in deeply, taking in all the baked good smell that your lungs could handle.
>You exhale against her skin, causing her to shiver a bit.
>”N-Nonny! That tickles!” She giggles, which tickles your nose. “What’s gotten into you, silly?”
>
>You open your eyes, now acutely aware of your actions.
>You remove yourself from her mane, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
“I-I just got tired!” You lie, you know, like a liar.
>”You never told me you were the cuddly type~!” Pinkie teased, wearing a smug grin on her face.
“I’m not! I just, uh, was...tired?” You were aware you reiterated the same excuse but that somehow sounded better than the alternative.
>”If you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just-“
>You didn’t let Pinkie finish, as you pulled her close and tight, hiding your face in her mane again. 
“Don’t say anything, alright? Just...let me have this.” Your voice was a little muffled, but clear enough for her to hear.
>Pinkie smiles softly.
>”Okie Doki Loki~!” She sings, slamming a hoof on the remote.
>The remote flies into the air and lands within the singular curl of her mane.
>In usual Pinkie fashion, she uses her mane to surf through the channels.
>”Let’s see what else there is to watch!” She chirps, letting you relax within the comfort of her mane.

END