>Be some random bloke sitting at night on the edge of his porch in the middle of nowhere.
>Casually sipping some whiskey mixed with lemon juice.
>Suddenly a weird unicorn thingy appears.
>Oh shit, it talks!
>She says “hello”.
>james_may.webm
>You always start with “hello”.
“Hello.”
>Shit’s awkward.
>She walks up to you with a quizzical look.
>”So… who are you?”
>You give her a name.
“You’re not from around here, are you?”
>Smooth as sandpaper.
>”Just your average inter dimensional traveler passing through. It’s for a research project. You’re not going to eat me, are you? Cause the last creature was a crazy monster and I don’t feel like doing another fight right now.”
>Still contemplating whether this is real or if you’ve finally lost it.
“Nah, I don’t really do that. You want a drink?”
>”I think I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
“You sure about that? It’s just cheap whiskey and it’s pretty bad.”
>”Can I have a taste?”
>You hand her the half full glass.
>She takes a sip and looks appalled.
>”That’s awful! Do you have anything sweeter?”
“Sure, just gimme a minute.”
>You slowly stand up, joints cracking.
“You like cold coffee?”
>She cocks her head.
>”It’s fine, I suppose.”
>You go back inside the house and come out a short while later with another scotch glass of light brown liquid and hold it out to her.
>”What’s that?”
“White Russian. I didn’t have any heavy cream, so I put in milk instead.”
>You hand her the glass.
>She levitates it over to her and takes a sip.
>Fucking telekinesis. What is this shit?
>”It’s pretty good. Bit strong though.”
>You sit beside each other.
“So what kinda research are you doing here anyway?”
>”Formally, I’m studying the creatures of worlds different from the one I’m from. Honestly though, it’s more of a fun vacation.”
“Gotcha. Why this place specifically though?”
>”A coincidence. I simply picked some coordinates at random.”
>You both sit for a while, taking sips and looking up at the stars.
>”You have a nice sky over here.”
“Most of the time it’s black with a few stars. For whatever reason, tonight you can see the milky way. I’ve seen something like this only once before.”
>Some more time passes.
“What’s your name anyway?”
>”Starlight Glimmer.”
>You chuckle.
“Kinda fitting, isn’t it?”
>”I suppose. Do you mind if we go inside? It’s getting a bit chilly.”
>You both stand up again, move to the door and get inside.
>”Why is it so hot in here?”
“It’s the fireplace. I don’t exactly have an AC in here.”
>She nods.
>As you take off your shoes and jacket, she walks into the living room, looking around.
>”Is this one of those TV things?”
“Yeah, you have these where you’re from?”
>”No. I’ve seen one of these in one world before.”
“Well, feel free to make yourself at home. There’s a console hooked up to it too.”
>She plops down on the old, worn out couch in front of the TV and a wooden coffee table.
>”Console?”
”Just an old PS2. You know, for playing games?”
>You go to put another log in the fire.
>”I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“You wanna give it a shot?”
>She picks up the remote.
>”Sure! This big red button turns on the TV, right?”
>She presses it before you can answer.
>lewd.jpeg
>”Is this a program about your species mating?”
“Not really. It’s one of those trashy late night porn movies that run on some channels.”
>You point to a button on the remote.
“Just press this button and pick AV.”
>As she figures out what you’re saying, you start up the console and pick up two gamepads.
>”Oh, can I have another drink?”
“Same one or something different?”
>”Surprise me.”
>While the game starts up, you walk to the fridge to get two new drinks.
>Two full glasses in hands, you walk back over to her.
>She looks at you with a smirk.
>”Come to think of it, part of my research project is observing the specie’s anatomy.”
>This is getting even weirder now.
>Suddenly, her horn lights up and in a flash all your clothes are gone.
>She eyes you up and down with a stern look and a hoof to her chin.
>She nods to herself and with another flash, all your clothes are haphazardly thrown back on you. Shirt wrapped around your legs, pants around an arm, socks on your fingers and underwear on your head.
“Would you rather I get you a glass of water instead?”
>You say sarcastically.
>She chuckles to herself.
>”Sorry, sorry.”
>You put the two glasses on the table, reorganize your clothes and sit down beside her.
>”So how does this game thing work?”
>You lean over to her.
“This stick moves the character, this one the camera. You jump with this button, shoot with that one and the other buttons do stuff too. It’s co-op so the idea is that we work together to get to the end. I pretty much only picked this mode because I never really got to play it with anyone else.”
>She gives you an odd look.
>Fuck’s sake, how hard is it to keep your spaghetti in just once, retard!
>Starlight levitates up the controller, looks back up at the TV and plays around with the controls.
>As you cock about in the game, you both occasionally take sips of your drinks.
>”What is this stuff?”
“Just plain pecan whiskey. I find it quite nice. Doesn’t even taste like whiskey, really.”
>She takes another sip, swishes it around and hums happily to herself.
>Soon your glasses are empty again and you pause to get more.
>”Can you make it something fancy this time?”
“Nope. I don’t really know anything fancy, so plain gin and tonic will have to do.”
>She rolls her eyes.
>You get back and continue playing.
>She sways a little back and forth and finally leans back on the couch and groans.
>”I think I need a shower.”
“The bathroom’s right over there. I don’t have a shower, but the bathtub should be good enough.”
>”Aww, you won’t help me clean myself?”
“Don’t you have that weird magic of yours to help with that?”
>”You’re no fun.”
>She hops off the couch, starting to walk towards the bathroom.
>You stand up as well.
“Fine, fine.”
>You grumble and follow her.
>Starlight levitates herself into the bathtub and lays down.
>”Go on, do your thing already.”
>You turn on the water and run the shower head over her.
>This is fucking weird.
>You turn off the water and grab the nearby shampoo bottle.
>How does one even clean a horse?
>You squirt some shampoo into your hands and run them through her mane, tail and fur around her curves.
>She lets out a content sigh.
>Far too soon you encounter her lady parts, just as the liquor finally hits you.
>Now how do I go about this without accidentally fingerbanging my guest?
>You grab a nearby sponge and use that instead.
>Why do I even have this thing?
>You quickly run the sponge along her unmentionables, before turning the water on again and rinsing her off.
>You dry her off with a large towel, carefully running it across her head, midsection and rear.
>What the fuck is this?
>Slowly opening her eyes again, she levitates herself out of the bathtub again and uses her magic to dry off the remaining bits.
“You didn’t even need me to do that, did you?”
>She gives you a sly look.
>”You’re a silly one, aren’t you?”
>You watch her walk out of the bathroom.
>She walks over to the table and chugs the rest of her drink.
>”I think we should go get some sleep.”
>You walk over to her and turn off the TV.
“The bedroom is upstairs and there’s a bathroom next to it, if you need it.”
>”Let me guess. You’ll sleep on the couch?”
“Yes?”
>”Not happening. You’re sleeping in the same bed as me. It’s part of my research project.”
>She walks up the wooden stairs, briefly stopping to wave you her way.
>Whatever. Sleeping with a horse isn’t the weirdest thing you’ve done.
>You follow her upstairs and as she quickly looks around, you step past her into the bedroom.
>She follows you and plops lazily on top of the bed.
>You take off your clothes, except for your underwear and wiggle yourself under the covers as well, keeping a polite distance to her.
>”You’re insufferable.”
“Pardon?”
>"We’re both drunk. Just hug me already, stupid.”
>She lays on her side with her back towards you.
>You scooch over to her, putting an arm under her neck and around her. The other hand slowly running along the fluffy curves of her body.
>You nuzzle your head into her mane.
“Thank you.”
>You whisper as you both fall asleep.