>"So what you're saying is, you WANT us to prank your friends?"
>Death spittles food all over the dining table
>Tonight you were having beefaroni and sweat sock casserole for dinner
>Yours had extra sweat socks of course, but these picky little eaters complained they were too chewy or too stinky
>There are starving hatchlings in Giffonstone that would love to have those socks!
"Oh no no my lad, I merely want you to act like you have been up 'til now. Just remember your Ps and Qs and cause mischief in the name of colthood."
>Famine inhales all the socks his brothers were picking out of their meal
>Well at least Old Granny Discord won't be turning over in her grave tonight
>"So just do what we do anyway?" War points out
"Yes, but be unfailingly polite while you're causing brain meltdowns."
>"Like telemarketers!"
"That's my boy!"
>You drop a dead fish on Death's plate as a reward and he immediately begins chewing at the carcass
"I would tell you to act out and make it believable, but you're so good at doing that anyway, it's why I let you have free reign!"
>"And we would not have it any other way, father. The wheels of Conquest can be held back by no man or beast!"
"That's good to hear but please but the pan back on the table. I don't even know what you'd do with all that casserole and I'd rather not find it under the rug, it's where I keep my nasty broccoli."
>An ominous rattle hits the table as a fresh plate of steamed greens taunts you from its resting place
>The boys all recoil in disgust
>Death's face goes from joy to dread and back again, repeating this process for a few moments
>"I can't decide whether to kill it with fire or revel in the bitter darkness that stems from its very being."
>"I wish to punch this fiend."
>"War, no, I wouldn't even allow it to touch my hooves!"
>Famine reaches across the table with an open mouth
>You all stare at him
"You wouldn't."
>He looks at the plate again and sighs
>"No, even I'm not THAT hungry."
>With an understanding made, you all reach out to the offending side dish and throw your respective pieces across the room, sharing in a chuckle as you do
"Alright boys, let's call it a night. We have to get up bright and early tomorrow to introduce you to the rest of the gang. I'm sure Fluttershy has told them all about you by now."
>"Nothing good I hope."
"Au contraire, as I said what we need now is a good impression of your manners. That can attributed to me, of course. You're already in Cheerilee's good graces, inattentive as she is. Thank you for that, by the way. I can't imagine how boring class must have been to sit through."
>"Eh, we learned something about Yakyakistan. They sound like a bunch of fools."
>"I disagree! Why shouldn't they strive for the pinnacle of perfection? Besides, it leaves less work for me when I come by to conquer them all later."
>"They sound like mighty warriors. I would have them for my ranks or bleed them dry upon the battlefield!"
>"They look like big meatballs. Do Yaks taste good?"
"They're very loud."
>"Loud isn't a flavor."
"It is for me. Now chop chop, off to bed with you all."
>With a little grumbling the boys all get down from their seats
"And don't forget to put the dishes away."
>They smirk and toss their plates to the ground
>The hardwood flooring twists and churns as it sucks in the dirty dishes
>In the bathroom, they all line up in front of the mirror and begin brushing their teeth
>All except for Death, who's using his rotten breath to fog up the mirror so he can draw morbid pictures in the steam
>Conquest pockets Famine's brush, then shiftily eyes the pill cabinet
>War for all his strength can't get the toothpaste to squeeze out
>When he looks down the tube, it chooses then to squirt him in the eye
>He roars and hits the tube, causing it to flip and get caught in Famine's throat
>Famine gags and starts chugging down the contents
>Tylenol, Benadryl, Flunitrazepam, Beta-Allowers? This causes heart attacks?
>Conquest pockets these and the spool of floss that hits his head
>War screams as the offending string gets caught in his teeth
>Famine lets out a belch strong enough to knock them all off the sink
>The bathroom now smells minty fresh
>Heading off to the bedroom, the boys enter their respective beds
>War still struggling as the floss has tied up his hooves while the others fight over the pillows Conquest pilfered, ending with Famine being smacked in the face
>Entering the room, you curl up in the center
"Now, who wants a bedtime story?"
>Four snuggly little miscreants look up at you with big eyes from the sheets
>It's adorable and it's giving you heartburn
>If only you knew where you put those pills so you could turn that damnable organ off for a while
"This one is called the Ugly Barnacle. Once upon a time there was a very ugly barnacle. It was very purple, it smelled like butt and it loved books."
>"Sounds stupid."

>The next morning finds you and the boys strolling through town
>It takes a while, as you had to make a few pit stops along the way
>Conquest wanted to take over city hall
>The mayor was not very happy as War began pelting her mane with flaming arrows
>Then you had to pull Famine away from Lily's garden as he was inhaling all the flowers, just not through his nose like a normal pony would
>You left the scene of the crime to coordinated screams of "The Horror!"
>Fluttershy was worried about your influence on the boys, so you had already made arrangements to drop them off for baby-sitting for the weekend
>The remaining girls would each take turns watching over one of the brats and assessing their upbringing
>It all fell nicely into your plans as you wanted the girls to vouch for your parenting skills and make you look like a little angel born anew, singing praises to friendship and rainbows and smiley faces and all that other crap
>And making Twilight look line a loon in front of them was just icing on the cake
>The nerve of her, giving you that giant legal book to read through and expecting a report and presentation on it
>What are you, her faithful student? Pah!
>Then she wouldn't stop bugging you about it everywhere you went
>[Are you done with that report yet, Discord? What did you learn today, Discord? I hope you've been studying hard, Discord. Have you done your homework? I'd like to check your progress to make sure you understand the material]
>She was worse than Pinkie!
>Well you certainly gave her a "presentation" alright, one she'll never forget
>You won't let her
>Even though your claws may be tied now, it would be nice to get a golden star of approval from her 'betters' so it would be easier to wreak second-hand chaos through your minions, just like the old days when you were too busy lounging around to do it yourself
>Your throne doesn't look quite as nice in the study as it did on that checkered hill
>Cutting your musings short, a giant confectionery eyesore makes its way into your peripheral
>Ah yes, your first destination
>You'll just drop the boys off and be on your way
>Fluttershy, poor dear, after her recent trauma with meeting the little ones needed some much deserved R&R and you were planning to deliver
>But why settle for a simple spa treatment when you can do her one better?
>Some pampering in the rich mud baths of Boardor followed by a relaxing dip in the natural hot springs of Neighpon, sightseeing in Equadoe, high class cuisine in Prance and then you'd visit the North Pone to watch an aurora borealis light show
>Very romantic
>But not a date, certainly not
>Oh no no no no no
>Shut up
>The jingle of a bell signifies your arrival
>Sugarcube Corner
>Town bakery and toursim hotspot in Ponyville
>This place really didn't have a lot going for it
>Sure, ponies came by to get a look at the castle
>But once they realized it was just a glorified rock, they either went to the spa or came here for lunch
>The building in question already looked like a giant mishmash of sugary treats
>What it represented on the outside however could not properly convey the treasures it held inside
>Rows of cakes lined the shelves of the back wall in all conceivable flavors and styles
>Some inconceivable but since they twist the perceptions of the mind, you'll not elaborate on those further
>A glass counter revealed its delicious contents for all to see and be entranced by
>Cinnamon buns dripping thickly with a pristine white glaze, still steaming cherry pies teasing a sneak peek at their fruity insides just so, mouth-watering cupcakes heavy with frosting and covered in rainbow sprinkles, freshly baked cookies with chocolate chips melting ever so slightly as to send tingles up the spine with pure imagination of their taste, scones and donuts and muffins and fritters and any and all kinds of baked goods lining the racks - OH MY!
>The smell alone was enough to send somepony into cardiac arrest
>To step inside the bakery was to step into a miniature paradise all on its own
>Such sights, such smells, such wonders!
>How ever could one cope with the sensory overload?

>Be Famine
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>Be daddy-o again
>"Weeeeeelcome to Sugarcube Corner! Home of the tastiest tongue-tantalizingest treats this side of the Trottingham tundra!"
"Trottingham isn't a tundra, Pinkie. But thanks for the idea, they need some use for those fur coats."
>"No problemo! So I'm guessing these are the little buggers I've heard so much about?"
>She rests her head on her hooves and gives them a cursory once-over
"Indeed they are."
>Although War and Death don't seem too interested, Conquest is surveying the area with a critical eye, no doubt already planning to lay claim to the establishment
>And Famine is... Oh dear
>The boy is drooling, eyes glazed over like a veteran caught in the throes of PTSD
>You think he's even starting to seize out
>He rushes up to the counter with wide eyes
>This is it, his promised land, his 72 virgin chocolate delights
>"Awawawawa... U-Unf!"
>"Hehee, I think this little guy is hungry!"
>Pinkie picks him up by the pits and rubs noses with him
>His eyes never leave the shelf behind her as he begins chewing on her mane
>"Aww, I think he likes me!"
>Careful, or he'll eat through you to get to that cake
"Well then, since it seems this one has already bonded to you so quickly, I suppose I'll leave him in your care for the time being."
>"What about the others?"
"Pinkie, we've been through this already. You all have businesses to take care of and work to be done. You can't handle four colts and the shop at the same time. One-on-one time seemed like the better option."
>"Oh right! Hmmm..." she rubs her chin suspiciously "Are you sure it's not just because you're trying to keep them apart so they're less likely to cause trouble and make you look bad?"
>Maybe
"Heavens no! I would never dream of it!"
>That's a lie
>You even cross your talons behind your back it's so obvious
"Even the seamstress agreed to it."
>"Rarity."
"Pardon?"
>"Her name is Rarity!"
"Hm, oh yes. Must not be much of one if I can't even recall that much about her."
>"That's not a very nice thing to say, Discord."
"Oh goodness, how rude of me. I hereby repent in the name of friendship and all that jazz."
>She gives you a skeptical frown
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll um... wear a wristband or some such to keep track of your names. You all look the same to me, after all."
>"That's racist!"
"Oh calm down, I'm only poking fun at the designers."
>"Now you're being meta. That's my thing. Why are you being such a meanie today?"
"Fine, fine! Sheesh! Give a guy a break why don't you? So, is everything copacetic here? We cool?"
>"I dunnoooookay!"
>That was quick
>She spins the little glutton around
>"You and I are going to have so much fun! Um-"
"Famine."
>"Fammy-wammy!"
>Ugh, her and her nicknames
"Well then I'll not intrude on this little bonding moment any longer. Ta-ta for now!"
>The door slams shut and the bells rattle

>Up next, Carousel Boutique
>The original garish children's toy!
>Or Twilight's Castle Lite™
>Yay dresses
>That's enough of that
>Knock-a-knock-knock, ring-a-ding-ding, here comes the co-
>"Good morning and welcome to- oh, Discord! How... delightful to see you. I suppose you're here to drop off, em, yes. Hello there."
>She looks down at the boys nervously
>Whether afraid of them or for them, you're not quite sure
"Why hello theeeeerrre..." oh damn, you've forgotten already
>You roll up your fur like a sleeve
"Twinkleshine!"
>"RARITY."
"Rarity! How very good to see you!"
>She huffs, clearly annoyed
>Wonder what crawled up her boudoir and died
>"Hmph, yes. It should be. So I assume these are the little 'darlings' we're to care for while you're away?"
"Nice and fresh and in the flesh!"
>You hope the boys can get into her good graces like only you can't
>This one will probably be the hardest to please
>Rather than disinterested this time, War and Death actually gag at the interior of the boutique
>Too frilly for them perhaps
>Conquest seems to have a sparkle in his eye as the various gems and golden stitching shimmer in the light
>That takes care of that then
>He was already your best bet for the uptight mare
>First impressions last the longest, as they say
>She's already admiring his crown, too
>"Well then, I suppose I shall take one off your hooves and get this day over with as quickly as possible."
>Conquest trots up without hesitation
>"I request to settle in here first. A high class lady such as this is more to my tastes. A pleasure to make your acquaintance on this lovely day, mad'am." he bows arrogantly
>"Oh my, such a little gentlecolt. I do believe we are going to have a splendid time together."
>"As do I. A radiant beauty such as yourself deserves no less than the best. And I am the best~" he flashes a grin
>"Ohohoho my, radiant beauty he says! Ahem, yes, please do come in."
>He canters in looking for all the world like he already owns the place
>That may just be the case soon
>She smiles as she ushers him in, then turns back to you with a sterner expression
>"As for you, I do hope you plan on treating Fluttershy well on this little excursion of yours?"
"Oh absolutely. No worries there at all!"
>"Good. I look forward to hearing all about it."
"Oh, it will be magnifi-"
>"Good day."
>With that she closes the door in your face
>...
>Next destination, Rainbow Dash!

>Well she doesn't seem to be at home
>Must mean she's on an overhanging cloud somewhere
>How very troublesome
"Rainbow Dash! Oh Rainboooow Daaaash!"
>Now where could that pegasus be?
>You told her you'd be meeting her here this morning!
>Taking to the air, you start surveying the skies
>Eenie, meenie, miny- ah, there you go
>Sleeping on the job again, as usual
>Flying up to the snoozing bluefast you contemplate on how best to wake her up
>Nothing beats the classics
>Pushing your talon to her snootle, you begin pushing her through the cloud layer ever so gently
>Eventually she breaks past it and falls to the ground below with a thud
>"Wha?! Huh?! Where?! Who?!"
"When, why and how!"
>You pop up behind her with an air horn and startle her skywards again, passing through the cloud a second time and landing on a whoopee cushion that sends bits of cloud spraying into the atmosphere
>An offended mother and her foal glare and trot quickly away from the flatulating pegasus
"Oh Raaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnboooooowww!"
>"Gah! Okay, okay! I get it, I get it! Sheesh! I'm sorry for napping!"
"It's morning, you dolt. Who takes a nap right after waking up?"
>"I'm sorry, okay?! I had a long night!"
"I don't want to hear about the time you spend with your dirty magazines."
>She blushes hotly and hides her head in the cloud
>"Shhhh! Will you not say that so loud?! I've got a reputation to maintain!" she hisses
"As if you could maintain that fragile facade for more than a day at a time. That rash of yours has had more longevity-"
>"Stop! Stop! Stooooop!" she nearly falls out of her cloud again as she bats her hooves at the fluff, sending little electrical currents arcing off of it
>"What do I gotta do to make you shut up?!"
>You want to make a snarky comment about the same thing she has to do to get a drink around here, but it's a bit too human for your tastes
>Also, ewww
"Just get down there and pick a brat so I can go on my da- I mean outing with Fluttershy already."
>"Ugh, fine! I was already planning to ya big jerk!"
>With that she descends to find the remaining boys waiting for her
>Death is smirking at her misfortune, War is just glaring silently at the sky
>Probably still salty you didn't make him an all powerful alicorn war machine
>"Soooo, 'sup guys?"
>"Nothin' but the sky, dweeb!"
>"Heh, eh, good one kid."
>She looks at War, who is still burning holes into the ozone layer with his eyes and scratches her head in obvious discomfort
>"Right. Uh, how we gonna do this? Flip a coin?"
>"Heads ya win, tails ya die!"
>"Uh, what?"
"He's been watching too many action movies, ignore him."
>"Right. Alright, I gotta ask. What's this little dude's deal?" she gestures at War "He's creeping me out."
>"I wish to bring glorious battle to the skies."
>"Battle?"
>"For too long have they been swept by the wings of Conquest. I wish to experience all planes on which my trade prospers! Let my wrath burn from the heavens as well as the lands and seas, as it was meant to be! I must be victorious, no matter what!"
>Oh great, did he want to become a seapony now too?
>"Ohhhh, you mean like a challenge? Tough luck kid, can't be awesome without wings and it sounds like your brother's got the one-up on you."
>"He is no challenge! None are a challenge to me! Wings or no I will strike my enemies down all the same!"
>"Wohohoah! Sounds like sompony's got a big opinion of themselves! Reminds me of a certain earth pony farmer who thinks she can best me on the ground despite me being the clearly better athlete."
>He gives her a once over and scoffs
>"You are puny. I will wipe the floor with you, rainbow one."
>"Hah! As if, kid! Just stick to playing in the dirt, you can't possibly take me on."
>"Do you want to bet?"
>"Nah, I wouldn't take candy from a baby. I'm curious about your bro though. Interested to see what a bat pony can do."
>Fire burns in War's eyes as he bares his teeth and snarls
>"I AM NO BABY!"
>"Ya sure? Looks like you're acting like one!"
>"THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU! YOUR HONOR AGAINST MINE!"
>"I already told you, ya ain't got a chance in Tartarus, kid."
>"Are you chicken?"
>That stops her smug in its tracks
>"I'm sorry, what did you just call me?"
>"Chicken!"
>"Nopony calls me chicken! Take that back!"
>He starts making loud clucking noises
>This only annoys her more
>"Stop that! I'm warning you kid!"
>"BUCKAW!"
>"That does it! You wanna go down so badly?! You're on! Just don't go crying your little baby eyes out when you lose!"
>"It will be you who loses this day!"
>The two of them smush noses together, glaring in each other's eyes
>Meanwhile you and Death just give each other a bemused glance, you tapping your claws together in consternation
"Right. I suppose that's settled, then. Have fun you two. Don't... eh, don't go destroying the town or anything."
>They ignore you, too caught up in their pissing contest to care
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
>"Yeah, yeah! Just go already!"
>"I will make short work of this walking sorbet, don't you worry, father!"
"Okaaaay. You get right on that. Buh-bye!"

>Phew
>That leaves just one more place on your list to visit
>Sweet Apple Acres
"Guess you're last, bucko."
>"Best for last!"
"No, no. Just last."
>Death gives you a silent glare
"Guess no one loves you."
>"Those who court Death are often betrayed."
"Sounds like you have commitment issues."
>"My commitment is unwavering. It cannot be questioned!"
"Then you're very clingy."
>"Like flies on a corpse!"
"Can you be less morbid for like, five minutes?"
>"Death is always morbid."
>You're getting nowhere with this lad
>Making your way up the path, you arrive shortly in front of the barn
>Cheeseburger is out front hoeing, plowing the field and sowing his seeds, reaping the land as it offers no resistance
>Off to the left you spot the old bag resting on its porch
>Right next to Granny Smith, snoozing away in her rocking chair
>Death is giving her an uncomfortably odd look
>Ushering him along, you approach the front door and give it a solid knocking
>The top hatch opens in short order
>"Discord."
"Applehat!"
>"That's AppleJACK ya varmint."
>She looks down to spot Death by your side
>"Ah'm guessin' this is one of the poor foals ya kidnapped?"
"Kidnapped? Why Applejack, I'm astonished you would suggest such a thing!"
>"Zip it. There's no way anypony would let you adopt a foal, let alone four of them."
>She comes fully out of the barn
>"Ya okay, lil' fella? He treating you good?"
>Well, she just gets right to the point, doesn't she?
>"Eh, I get fed. Got a bed and a roof over my head. I can't complain."
>Gee, thanks
>"Blunt, huh? I like that. Think you and I are gonna get along real fine."
>My, this is a bit more sobering a visit than the others
>She acts like you're beating them!
>Which isn't the case, certainly not!
>Just a smack in the back of the head here and there
>You know, parenting!
>"If it's okay with you, could ya tell me what happened to yer folks?"
>"I don't really remember my parents, if that's what you're asking. Or even if I had any. My owner was the only thing I really had that was close to a father before dad here came along."
>"Owner? What do you mean by that?"
>"Well, I mean I was the steed for one of the four apocalyptic hosemen. I really only existed to carry him to his destination and help him achieve his goals."
>While most of that goes over her head, she seems to have stuck to one thing
>"You... You were a slave?"
>"Kinda? Sorta? Not really. He wasn't exactly abusive. I mean yeah, I had to do what he said, and sometimes he'd try to kill me for the fun of it - it's what we do, but he'd ignore me most of the time otherwise."
>Her eyes get watery as shock gets the better of her, but it slowly turns to rage
>"You poor thing! Where is this no good, rotten 'owner' of yours now?!"
>He chuckles
>"Ah, when dad here came to take us back with him, he knocked old skeletor off my back and let him fall to the ground below. Must have been a good, I don't know, 20,000 feet- er, hooves high?"
>This shocks her further still as she whips her head towards you
>"Ya killed him?!"
>"Nah, nah! He was already undead, so what's one more to the eternity of scars, yeah? I'm sure he's fine and cursing up a storm that he lost his horse."
>"Now don't ya talk that way about yerself. I'm just glad yer here now and safe from that horrible pony."
>"Well actually he's-"
>That's enough of that
"Weeeellll Applejack, there you have it! Not as sinister as you'd believed I was, am I?"
>She looks up at you and squares her shoulders, standing straight
>After a moment of seemingly staring into your soul, she gives an approving nod
>"Ya did good, Discord. I'm surprised to say it, but you did something nice for somepony other than yerself for once. I'm glad, really."
>Yessss! Score one for the home team! Woot woot!
>"But that's enough of this depressin' talk. Ya got that date to go on-"
"It's not a date!"
>"-and I got to get this colt settled in. Want to make sure he's got a nice day ahead of him."
>She just ignored you!
>Turning back, she gives him a wink
>"On behalf of Ponyville, I wanna give ya a warm Apple family welcome, just so you know you're never alone. I hope you come to like here in our little slice of paradise and can live a happy and fulfilling life as any pony is meant to do."
>His ears splay back as she pats him on the head
>You can almost hear the gears in his old mind turning as he takes that all in
>Is... is that a tear?
>Applejack wipes at her own eyes as she shakes off the mood
>"Whewhee! That's enough of that. Let's get you inside. Bet ya haven't had lunch yet, huh? Well I got a fresh pie just came out the oven ready and waiting to be eaten. Come along now, 'fore it gets cold!"
>She walks back inside without another word to you, leaving you and the boy alone
>You stare at him appraisingly
"Well?"
>"Well what?"
"Why can't you speak normally to me like that when we're having a conversation?! None of the edge and smarmy attitude! None of the horrid imagery! Why her and not me, or other ponies for that matter?!"
>He tilts his head and gives you a blank look
"Well?!"
>"It's because I can smell it on her."
"What are you talking about?"
>"I can smell the taint of death. I can smell the ache of loss."
>This is new, you didn't know he could sense those things
>"It's not like when we bring about the end. Not abundant like the effects of war, not crushing like a kingdom felled, nor suffered like a populace starved. It's small, but it's there. Genuine and hurt."
>This boy baffles you all the more
>It's hard to cope with the fact they were once so much more than the colts you turned them into
>Every now and then though, they remind you
>"She is wrong though."
"Oh? About?"
>"In death, we are always alone."
>With that, he turns and walks into the house, leaving you alone
>Well then
>That
>That...
>Well that just sucked all the fun out of the room!
>You take it back! Morbid as always, the little runt!
>Throwing your arms in the air, you trounce off utterly deflated
"Ohhhh I hope Fluttershy enjoys this trip. I don't think I want to ruminate on any more of this mortality business. I've not had to reflect this deeply on it for a thousand years!"
>With a grunt, you snap your fingers and pop out of existence
>What a way to end a field trip

>You are Famine
>Today you will remind them
>Even though they'll probably just forget again
>It happens
>But that's not important right now
>You're not important
>That's not self-deprecation, though you're good at that too
>No, what's important is what you're going to do
>And what you're going to do
>Is eat those cakes
>Mmm, caaaaaaakes
>However you find yourself being held aloft by the pink one
>Such a predicament
>Why does she keep you from your goal?
>Could it be?
>Were you made to suffer the same fate as Tantalus?
>To forever be chained just outside the reach of food and water?
>Surely, this world isn't that cruel!
>Pink one, why?
>"I'm Pinkie Pie! You and I are gonna have a blast today!"
>Pinkie... Pie?
>Is she edible?
>Her mane did taste like cotton candy
>"So what'cha wanna do first? Ooh, ooh! Did you have breakfast yet? Discord does feed you, doesn't he? You look a little malnourished."
>She shows concern for your well being?
>This is new
>You nod slowly
>Breakfast this morning was pancakes
>With pans baked right into the cakes
>Dad said iron was important for growing young foals
>Even though you ate the whole stack, you were still hungry
>You're always hungry
>"That's a relief! You look like you're still hungry, though!"
>This time you nod a little faster
>That's what you said!
>Thought
>Can she read minds?
>"Got any favorite foods? Favorite desserts?"
>More frantic nodding
>"Well?"
>You spread your forelegs out wide and smile
>"Everything?! I like the way you think!"
>You like the way you think, too!
>Well, you're really your only audience member
>Can't say the same about your brothers
>"How about a house specialty? Guaranteed to blow your socks off! If you were wearing any!"
>She gigglesnorts
>Good enough to blow off your clothing?
>Sounds just like Death's Chinese cartoons
>The enthusiasm in your nodding is making her shake
>You must be really hungry!
>Oh no, you're just making yourself dizzy
>"Great! We just pulled some fresh cinnamon buns right out of the oven! Just wait right here!"
>She sets you down and prances happily into the kitchen
>And so you sit, alone
>Unattended
>In front of a display full of cakes
>This can only end in Famine
>...
>"IIIIII'm baaaaack~!"
>She sets the tray of buns down, a large container balancing on her back
>"I also brought milk to wash it down!"
>Two glasses join the pastries
>"So, how many do... you... want...?"
>Her eyes grow wide as she sees you sitting by the wall, muzzle covered in cream and looking like a deer caught in the headlights
>You don't break the stare as you lick frosting off your hoof
>Half the shelf was missing
>Half the cakes... and literally a bite out of the wooden insert
>There was a crumb
>Waste not want not as you always say
>Well, waste not
>"Did you just eat all those cakes by yourself?"
>You nod
>"I wasn't even gone two minutes!"
>You nod again
>"Wowee! You sure were hungry! Still got room for the cinnamon buns?"
>A third nod joins the procession
>Oh baby, a triple
>"Well alrighty then! Take as many as you like!"
>She holds the tray of goodies out to you
>They smell like heaven
>And considering you've visited heaven before, you would know
>Heaven smells like freshly baked goods
>And flowers
>And there's one place off in the corner that smells like someone had a fun time in a public restroom but you don't talk about that place
>CRRRRRUNCH
>Pinkie is flabbergasted as you take half the tray in your mouth and bite down
>The sound of grinding metal fills the quiet shop
>She takes her own bun and munches on it as she watches you bemusedly
>"I heard growing colts eat a lot, but that's just craaaazy! Milk?"
>Swallowing your snack, you reach out with a nod
>After filling up a glass, she sets the pitcher on the table
>You quickly grab that and suck it down, pitcher falling to the floor with a clatter when you're done
>The glass she had prepared for you slowly rescinds
>"I guess this one will be mine, then."
>Now she's giving you a critical look as she sips warily from her glass
>"That fill your tummy yet?"
>You shake your head 'no'
>The look in her eyes becomes a full on squint of... suspicion? Anger?
>She's not going to hit you for being honest, is she?
>Please no
>Slowly she leans down to face you at eye-level, pressing her nose up against yours
>L-Lewd
>...
>She smells good
>...
>Is she staring into your soul?
>Wait, do you even have a soul?
>Did you have one once and eat it?
>You don't remember
>...
"Hello?"
>"Are we related?"
"W-What? I don't think so."
>"Hmm. Hmmmmmm!"
>Hmm?
>"WELL WE SHOULD BE!"
>Oh God what! Your ears!
>She picks you up and hugs you close, snuggling the life from you
>Your lungs!
>"I haven't seen somepony eat as much as me in forever! I knew we would get along great when I saw you!"
>Hnnnnng
>She's so soft
>She smells so good
>You want to eat her
>Why does that sound so wrong?
>Letting you down for a moment, she takes an eclair from the counter display and shoves it in your mouth
>It doesn't last a second as you swallow it whole
>"There's no shortage of goodies here, no siree! But now it's time to replace those cakes you ate! Wanna help me in the kitchen?"
>Making cakes?
>Normally you eat them, but this sounds like it could be fun!
>Nodding your head, you smile and she gives you one in return
>"Great! Follow me little guy!"
>Trotting on after her, you go through the doors into the kitchen
>Wow it's big
>There's utensils and ingredients everywhere
>And more delicious smells coming from the ovens
>"So, after we're done here, is there anything you like to do for fun?"
>Not really?
>You mostly just sleep and eat
>And since it's not bedtime
"Eat."
>She laughs at that
>What's so funny?
>"Oh come on, surely you've got some kind of interests besides eating? Even I don't like eating so much it's all I do!"
>Well then she's just weird, because it really is all you like to do
>What else is there?
>Her smile falters a bit as you just shrug at her
>"Nothing? Really? Games, books, music, anything?"
>Nope
>"Uh, that's fine I guess! To each their own."
>Wanting to change the subject, Pinkie quickly puts on an apron and a chef's hat
>The hat looks like a giant muffin
>You want to eat it
>"Time for some baking! Grab a bowl while I grab the cake mix!"
>Tearing your attention away from the hat, you begin searching for what you think is a suitable mixing bowl
>"Let's see here... milk, eggs, butter..."
>Too small, too big, too narrow
>"...flour, frosting, vanilla extract..."
>This one looks good
>"...celery, pickles, onions..."
>Good enough to eat
>"...springs, sprockets, gears..."
>No Famine, don't eat the bowl
>You need this for cake
>"...fish candies, rhubarb, sediment shaped sediment..."
>Would she prefer a spoon or a whisk?
>"...stuffed pig, missing fillies, Twilight's fanfiction..."
>Maybe she has one of those electrical beaters?
>Do they have those in Equestria?
>The technology here confuses you
>"...Where's Waldo, James Bond, the head of Inigo Montoya..."
>Your ear perks up
>What in the nine levels of hell is she making?
>"...uranium, biochemically engineered superbabies-"
>She stops and looks down at you as you pop your head between her legs and look in the refrigerator
>There's none of what she was listing off present in it
>Looking up, your snootle boops into hers and you lock eyes
>"Got the bowl all ready Famalam?"
>Noses rub as you nod
>Why does that feel good?
>Why is your face heating up?
>"Super! Come on!"
>Grabbing you by the scruff of your neck with her teeth, she flips you up and over her head and onto her back before trotting back to where you set the bowl
>Setting you down on top of the counter, she places all the ingredients for a normal! cake next to you
>"Okiedokie! Have you ever made a cake before?"
>You shake your head in the negative
>"Well it's fairly simple. In fact, I have something to make the process easier to remember!"
>Oh?
>"Aaaaaall you have to do is take a cup of flower, add it to the mix!"
>Is she singing?
>"Now just take a little something sweet, not sour! A bit of salt - just a pinch!"
>Why is she singing?
>And don't you need more flour than that to make a cake?
>You're no chef but you've watched the cooking channels back home
>Late at night when everyone was asleep, silhouetted by the warm glow of the television in a darkened room
>Death called you a degenerate
>You don't know what that means and by the sound of it it's not tasty
>What even is a food porn?
>You nod your head along until she finishes her performance
>"You get it?"
>It made no sense whatsoever
>So you shake your head
>"Oh come on, that was a classic! Anyway, just mix these ingredients like so."
>The spoon smacks around the bowl as the two of you add bit after bit of that which creates fluffy cake goodness
>"And done! Now we just pour it in an oven-ready contai- Famine."
"Yes?"
>"Why is the bowl empty."
"I was hungry."
>The two of you share another look
>Boop!
>"You're silly!"
>You are, aren't you?
>Wait, you are?
>"Let's take it again, from the top!"
>Another bowl is made, another song is sung, but this time she keeps the mix out of your reach, smacking your nose with the spoon when you try to eat it again
>Aww
>"Now just set the timer... and done! Now we wait."
>Wait? Okay
>Sitting down in front of the oven, you stare into its illuminated depths
>"Uh, Famasham, what'cha doin'?"
"Waiting."
>"You know you don't actually have to just sit and wait, right?"
>But how will you know when it's done?
>"There's a little timer right there to let us know when the cake is ready."
>So there is
>Wait, did she read your mind again?
>"Nope!"
>Okay, good
>No one should ever look into the depths of your tortured psyche lest they witness untold horrors centuries old
>"I've seen worse in Twilight's basement."
>What's in the basement?
>Do you want to know?
>Basements are scary, so probably not
>Cleaning off the utensils, she turns to you with a smile
>"You know, I like to throw welcome parties to new arrivals in Ponyville. I wasn't really given the chance when you all first got here, since your dad insisted that it was too soon to start integrating you into the town and the girls were worried that, well..." she trails off nervously
>Well?
>"I meeeaaann, your dad doesn't really have the best reputation around here, ever since he sort of, um... did he tell you about why we're worried about him adopting you all? What uh, happened recently between us?"
>You just shake your head
>Whatever it is, it's probably not important
>At least it wasn't in the plans of his you were all privy to
>She fidgets on her hooves as if at a loss for words
>"Hehe, yeah, I probably wouldn't want to tell you either. I mean, we didn't want to make you boys sad about Dizzy's past booboos."
>Dizzy?
>"Discord."
>Ah
>"Wow, this being serious stuff is hard! I like to spread laughter, not bad news! Twilight is better than me for dealing with this kind of thing. By the way, you uh, haven't seen her around recently, have you? I don't know if she's on princess business, but we haven't heard a peep from her since she went to check on Fluttershy and your pops."
>No idea
>"You don't know anything?"
>Can't say that you do!
>She stares unblinkingly into your eyes
>A bead of sweat runs down the back of your neck
>"Reeeeeeeeally?"
>If you had a collar, you'd adjust it uncomfortably
>"Well okay then! Wonder where she went? Probably to settle some things with Celestia about all this. But that's enough of that booooring old, depressing subject! So about that party, what do you think? I'd like to throw one soon. It's gonna be fuuuuunnn~!"
>Party? You've never been to a party before
>You've seen plenty of 'End of the World' parties thrown by hyoomans, but you don't know why they'd want to celebrate that
>Mankind is weird
>So you just shrug in response
>"But it's a party! You mean to tell me you're not even a teensy bit interested?"
>Can't say that you are
>Doubt you'll be able to enjoy it anyway
>Your brothers would probably hang you from a string and swat you around like a pinata again
>The uninterested tilt of your head seems to put a dampen on her mood somewhat
>"Well, I promise you'll like it. It'll be a ton of fun, you'll see."
>Guess it wouldn't hurt to try
>Her smile returns when you give her a nod
>"So then, wanna learn how to make other stuff?"

>A few hours later, a sweaty pink baker and you sit down to relax, you now sporting your own tiny apron and hat
>Pinkie smacked you on the nose several times to keep you from eating your attire
>The kitchen is filled with hundreds of various cakes
>After the two of you exhausted the cake recipes, she went on to show you how to make other things
>Cupcakes, muffins, donuts, fritters, the works
>Pretty much every table in the shop is covered in confections of one sort or another
>Tiring work
>Hungry work
>"Whoo! We made a lot, didn't we?"
>The oven dings as the last batch of treats is pulled out
>Pinkie said those ones were just for her
>She had taken out a small flask and added something bitter smelling
>She called it 'happiness juice'
>Told you it kept away the demons
>You think you understood
>It's annoying when you're trying to eat and imps keep flying in your food
>"Think it's about time for lunch!"
>Looking around, you take in the sight of all your creations
>The entire bakery may as well have been the golden fields of Elysium to you, rich in ambrosia
>Before you can suggest inhaling the smorgasbord before you, the bell from the front of the shop rings out
>"Oh, a customer! I'll be right back!"
>Hopping off her stool, she exits through the doorway, leaving you alone again among the presence of food
>...
>This can only end in-
>She pops her head back in, spying you halfway across the kitchen with your mouth open, hovering over a cake
>"Nuh uh. Come with me, Famingaling the Foodie King."
>Foodie King?
>Did she just give you a title?
>The title of a king?!
>Oh man, Conquest is going to be so jealous!
>You hope he doesn't find out or you'll be spending the rest of the week sleeping outside!
>Suffering the slings and pillows of outraged fortune!
>Nervously hurrying after her, you make your way back into the bakery proper
>She said there was a customer?
>You wonder if they'll try one of your cakes!
>Wow, you didn't think you'd be hyped to have someone else eat your food
>Usually that's a bad thing for you
>"Heya Pinkie!"
>"Hiya Spike!"
>You can hear a voice but you don't see anypony
>Are they a ghost?
>The newcomer looks around the shop in amazement
>"Wow, there's cake everywhere! What's the occasion?"
>"Oh, there's nothing going on. We just made way too many desserts."
>"We? I thought the Cakes were out of town?"
>That's silly, why would the cakes be out of town when they're all right here in the shop?
>"Oh, you probably haven't met yet! Spike, this is Famine, one of Discord's newly adopted sons."
>Pinkie ushers you around the corner to greet the new arrival
>You were fully prepared to be spooked by a ghastly ghosty
>Instead you come face to face with a little purple reptile creature
>"Uh, hey there. Name's Spike, nice to meet you."
>He holds out a claw, but you just awkwardly stare at him
>You've seen plenty of weird monsters before, so it's no surprise this one can talk, you're just not sure what to make of it
>"What's wrong? Oh, you've probably never seen a dragon before!"
>Yes you have
>Big, mean, fire breathing
"Wait, you're a dragon?"
>Spike rubs his knuckles on his scaly chest and grins
>"Yup! Only one in Ponyville! It's okay, I know I'm amazing. No offense taken."
>None given? Why would he try to take your offense? That's rude!
>"He's a baby dragon."
>That makes slightly more sense
>"Aw, come on Pinkie. I'm a hero now, you know?"
>But seriously? A dragon?
>He's even smaller than you!
>War once told you the smol should fear the tol
>He's only an inch taller than you, but it's enough to make him pick on you
>Not that he needs that as a reason
>You wonder if you should eat Spike to establish your dominance
>Pinkie must have read your mind again as she shakes her head at you disapprovingly
>"No Fambalina, you can't eat him."
>"Dude, what?"
>Reaching out a hoof, you give the baby dragon a hand? Claw? Hoof? Appendage shake
>"So Famine, what's it like being adopted by Discord? Pretty weird I bet."
>You think back to the crazy house and shrug
"It's home."
>"What, that's it?"
"So long as my brothers are there, it's home."
>Pinkie awws
>"Because home is where the heart is and your brothers are always in your heart?"
"No, because no matter where I go their bullying stays the same."
>That statement pops the poofiness out of her mane
>You wonder if Conquest is nearby, hogging all the poof again
>"Uh, wow. Sorry to hear that."
"I'm used to it."
>"Are you at least enjoying it here in Ponyville?"
>You shrug again
"It's nice."
>Spike rolls his claw as if to ask for details
"I've... had more to eat here than anywhere else?"
>"You're not much of a talker, are you?"
>No, you usually keep to your thoughts
>It's easier than being beat up for voicing them
>Come to think of it though, your inner musings are becoming more eloquent since coming here, less hectic
>That's a plus, you guess?
>Constant starvation isn't clinging to your mind anymore
>You like this bakery
>You like Pinkie Pie
>"I thought he was just shy, but we've been having fun all day and he hasn't really opened up to me that much."
>Oh, that kind of hurts
>Is it really okay for you to just open up here?
>You're afraid of your brothers and you're afraid of others
>But this isn't the human world anymore, and ponies here have been relatively nice to you
>Pinkie cares about your well being, the yellow filly from class was interested in what you had to say, Fluttershy was nice and dad actually saw some potential in you
>Spike must have noticed your inner turmoil as he places a reassuring claw on your shoulder
>"Come on dude, don't be nervous. We're your friends here, you can be open around us."
>Friends?
"We're friends?"
>"Well uh, yeah! Sure! I know we just met, but everyone in Ponyville is really nice. You'll never have to feel left out, trust me."
>"You don't consider us friends, Fammy?"
>You don't know what to say
>You've never had friends before
>This is all so new to you
>Is this really okay?
>Do you have peo- ponies who really care about you now?
>Does dad really care? He doesn't treat you poorly
>Do you really have friends in this place?
>You start to feel a wetness in your eyes
>What is this?
>"Woah, you okay?"
"I... I don't kn-"
>A warmth envelopes you
>Pinkie is hugging you again
>"Shh, it's okay Famine. You don't have to feel sad anymore."
"Nng."
>This feeling in your chest
>It hurts and feels relieving at the same time
>More wetness comes out of your eyes
>You're crying
>It's been so long since you last cried
>You had gotten used to the treatment, to your previous life
>So much so that you became jaded and content with how poor you were living
>Coming here was frightening at first, but your natural reaction to things like that was to just accept your lot and move on with the hope things wouldn't turn out too bad in the end
>"Fammy? I need you to answer me truthfully. Is Discord treating you alright? Is everything alright at home?"
>Why does she want to know?
>All you can do is nod
>You're given a chance to speak freely and you can't even get the words out
>"Are you sure?"
>Even though you nod again, she seems content to wait for you to actually answer
>It takes a moment to steady your breathing, but you manage to gulp and find your voice
"Y-Yes. I like it here. Dad isn't a bad guy. I just- I've never been c-close to my brothers. I've n-n-never had any friends b-before."
>Pinkie hugs you tighter and rocks you gently
>"Do your brothers really bully you that much? Do you really not get along with them?"
>You just shake your head
>Conquest has made it clear before he barely even considers you family, you're just a means to an end for him
>War just wants something to beat on
>And you're pretty sure Death doesn't like anybody
>"You know, even though the girls were hesitant, I was a little excited about you four. I have three sisters myself that I love very dearly. And even though we've had our fair share of fights, we've always forgiven each other in the end and come out stronger for it."
>Sounds nice
>It just makes you feel worse about your own brothers
>"I don't mean to make it sound like I'm bragging that I have something you don't. I just want you to understand, that even through the roughest times, family is family. You all can get along, and I want to help you all through it."
"...You mean it?"
>"Mmhm. I know how hard it is for siblings to share their feelings. You sometimes have to get into a screaming match just to get it all off your chest!"
>Is that really how it works?
>You're pretty sure War never hides his emotions, he's always so loud and confident
>Death doesn't even need to do that much, he's not burdened by such silly things as feelings
>And Conquest is always so sure of himself, you doubt he's ever held back his opinion
>Really, thinking about it just makes you realize you've always looked up to them
>They have such strength of character you can only dream of, such enviable willpower
>You've always ran to them for protection
>Even though you knew they wanted nothing to do with you, you still depended on them anyway
>Brothers...
>"Uhh, should I come back later?"
>"Oh shush, Spike. You're one of his first friends in Ponyville, stick around to support him, okay?"
>"Eh, I didn't really sign on for any mushy stuff."
>"Ohhh, you boys are so unsympathetic with each other!"
"It's okay. You were willing to listen, that's more than I can say for most."
>"Sorry dude, I'm an only child. I don't really know how to deal with sibling rivalry. But hey, brothers and sisters are kind of like friends, right? So when your friends are being jerks, just give 'em a kick in the pants! Well, they don't have to be wearing any, but you know what I mean."
>"Spike, you shouldn't encourage fighting."
>"Hey, it's just a suggestion. If they're bullying you, you gotta stand up to them."
>War would probably tear you a new one if you ever tried standing up to him
"Thanks for the advice, I get what you mean."
>"Just don't try to do anything mean until I can organize a get together with you all, okay? I want to try and repair your relationship with your brothers and I'd rather you not make it worse with any... what is it that Twilight calls it whenever you're trying to act tough, Spike?"
>He just huffs and glares at her
>"False bravado."
>"That!"
>"And it's not an act! I really am tough!"
>"Sure you are!"
>This brings a giggle out of you
>Pinkie gently sets you down and smiles at you
>"Feeling better?"
"Yeah, thank you."
>"And hey, if you ever wanna hang out, we got some cool spots in town, like an arcade and a bowling alley."
"Arcade? Bowling? What kind of food is that?"
>"You're joking, right?"
>"He doesn't exactly have many hobbies, Spike."
>"Oh man, you don't know what you're missing out on! But hey, speaking of food... since all that's settled now, I'm here for my order, Ms. Pie."
>Spike waggles his eyebrows suggestively
>Pinkie's mane seems to inflate back to normal as she trots happily in place
>"Oh yeah! I just got a new shipment of gems in!"
>Gems?
>Opening one of the cupboards, she brings out a paper box and opens it to reveal its treasure
>And what a treasure it is! Why the heck are those cupcakes covered in gems?
>"Hehe, thanks, Pinkie. Ooh boy, some of my favorite flavors are here!"
"You eat rare gems?"
>"Huh? Oh yeah, dragons love gems! They're not -that- rare though. I helped Rarity not that long ago find a bunch of them for her dresses."
>Spike pops one of the cupcakes in his mouth and crunches happily on it
>"Mmmm!"
>Those were diamonds
>You've seen Conquest lose his mind over those things
>And Spike just ate a bunch of them, some bigger than your eyes!
"Are they good?"
>"They're delicious!"
"C-Could I try one?"
>"Huh? Uh, ponies aren't really capable of eating gems like dragons can, dude."
>He sees the focused expression on your face though and relents
>"Hey, knock yourself out. Just don't blame me when you choke."
>He hands you one of the sparkling cupcakes
>It's covered in a variety of beautiful gemstones
>The kind that could buy you a fully stocked grocery store in your old world
>Well, you didn't really need to considering you weren't of the mortal realm, but the point remains
>...
>Bottoms up!
>CRRRRRAAACKK
>The noise startles Pinkie and Spike as you begin to chew through solid gemstone
>Spike near drops the rest of the box as he witnesses what he had previously deemed the impossible
>A pony eating gems, how very unusual!
>The stones are soon ground to powder and swallowed as you lick your lips and ruminate on the taste
"Not bad. Kind of like Sweet Tarts and Pop Rocks."
>"Pop, sweet- wait what? H-How?!"
>"Spike, you know how sometimes I do things out of the ordinary and you all agree not to question it?"
>"Yeah?"
>"Well I wouldn't question Famine's stomach."
>"Bruh."
"That was good! Want to try some of my desserts?"
>"Your desserts?"
>"Yeppers! Famdango here helped make a lot of the stuff sitting around on the tables!"
>Eyeing the surrounding treats, Spike picks up a brownie and takes a large bite, eyes lighting up in surprise
>"Woah, this is really good!"
>"Mmhm! There's no one who quite makes food as well as someone who knows their food like a foodie, foodite, foody-toody." she spits out the words tying up her tongue
>Your stomach rumbles
>That cupcake stoked the fires of hunger from making all this
>And all those emotions just made you hungrier
>"Well, we were just about to sit down for lunch when you walked in. Seeing as how we have so many desserts though, we can't possibly keep them all on the shelves. So if you want to join us, lunch is on the house!"
>Spike takes a look around at your Wonderland
>You can tell he appreciates it as much as you do
>"Oh boy, I am gonna stuff myself 'til I drop!"
>"Careful Spike, you don't want to get a tummy ache!"
>"Bah, that's future Spike's problem. I don't get this opportunity too often with Twilight hanging over me like a wet napkin."
>If only he knew the irony of that statement
>He dives right into a table covered in chocolate goodies
>"Heehee, he never learns."
>Pinkie joins him in the fray
>And with a smile, you join your two new friends

>Afternoon finds you too stuffed to move
>You must have eaten something like 40 cakes
>Fullness... when was the last time you experienced this sensation?
>All three of you lie around on the floor, bloated comically like balloons and covered in various frostings and smudges
>Spike looks like he could lift off at any moment
>You all not only ate, but played with your food as well
>'Catch the flying cupcake with your mouth' was a fun game, you didn't miss once
>Pinkie groans in discomfort, setting off a chain reaction of groans from all of you
>It's like a haunted house in here
>A part of you idly wonders if this was the kind of chaos dad was talking about
>If it is, chaos is perhaps the most delicious thing in existence
>You don't think you succeeded much however
>This isn't quite like anything he'd pull
>Nothing went wrong though, so you think you did him proud
>And you got a free meal out of it
>And friends!
>This is the best day ever in your eternity of life
>An approving belch follows that thought
>Definitely
>"Uuuugh, I don't think I'll ever eat again."
>That's heresy, Pinkie
>"I don't think I'll ever even think of food again!"
>Your new friends are kind of plebs, but you still like them anyway
>Pinkie rolls onto her stomach and manages to lift herself up
>"Well, that takes care of half of the extra desserts. I think I can find room for the rest. It's a shame, though."
>You and Spike listen half-attentively
>"Waz a shame?"
>"Out of all the desserts we made, we never tried the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. And we worked extra hard on that one!"
>Pinkie rolls out a giant cake into the middle of the floor
>The sight of it alone causes Spike to cover his mouth in sickness
>You however, can only stare in wonder at the beauty that is the Quadruple M
>Steadily, you get to your hooves and stand before its majesty
>It beams its rays of tastiness upon you, like a magnificent father, deliciously incandescent
>"Famine?"
>Your eyes start to glaze over as you take in the cake
>...
>...
>"...ami...?"
>"F...min...!"
>"Famine!"
>Huh, wha?
>Pinkie waves a hoof in front of your face
>What happened?
>One second you were staring at the cake of cakes, the next you just blacked out
>Wait, where did the cake go?
"What happened to the cake?"
>"It's gone, Famine. You ate it."
"Are you sure? I don't even remember-"
>"Yes I'm sure. Your mouth unhinged like a giant snake. It was horrifying to watch."
>You just stare blankly at the empty spot in front of you
>All the evidence that was left of the once great masterpiece to prove it even existed in the first place was one of the wheels Pinkie rolled it in on
>"It's a good thing you're too big to move now, you might have taken the rest of the bakery with you!"
>Damn, was it that bad?
>You've never glut yourself like this before, so to black out was kind of worrying
>You wonder if you temporarily called upon your inner purpose just then
>It's probably nothing, just your belly taking the place of your mind as usual
>Best not to think about it
>"Well Fammy, that was a fun day despite some hangups. I'm really glad I got to spend this time with you."
>It still feels odd to hear someone say such nice things about you, but it makes you smile anyway
>"I gotta clean up and you have to meet my other friends. I know it wasn't a big to do, but consider this the smaller welcoming party to Ponyville."
>If this is what parties were like, you were definitely looking forward to the real one now
>With a smile and a wink, she gives you a tender kiss on the nose, leaving behind a chocolatey kiss mark and making you blush something fierce
>She giggles in response to your reaction
>"Now let's get you on out of here, roly-poly!"

>Today was exhausting
>You never thought you'd experience so many firsts
>Sharing your food, asking for permission to eat someone else's, cooking your own
>A-And your first kiss
>It wasn't on the lips, b-but still!
>All kinds of shivers run up and down your spine
>If this is what it feels like to do these things, you don't mind putting them to practice more often
>You practically feel like a new horse
>As Pinkie helps you up and out the door, you can't help but lick the chocolate kiss off your nose
>What is probably the biggest smile to ever grace anypony's face now adorns yours
>You never knew happiness was a flavor until you came here