Hey hey ponies, sseth here

>I've made good investments. Smart Investments.

>Did you ever wanted to be a vegetarian so badly, You'd eat a burger made with straw and paint your kitchen green with vomit?
>Have you ever tried pursuing a wholesome and loving relationship only to receive a fine and 5 years probation?
>Have you ever wondered what you could do with a jar?
>If you answered yes to any of those questions, than do I have the board for you.
>/mlp/ 
>a gathering place for some of societies brightest, poets, artists, and scientists,
>While at the same time creating some of the most depraved and lewd creations.
>It is purgatory with two faces, with only a entrance and no hope for an exit.
>Truly amazing.
>But what is end goal of /mlp/?
>Ascension to reach your mare, whether through technological engineering, cryogenic preservation, or creating a soul of your own.
>But only a precious few are capable of such ability.
>"Seth," You may ask, "How does the rest even hope to achieving that same level of success?"
>(You)'s
>A magical currency of acknowledgement that powers both the ego and psyche of each post made.
>The more you collect, the more your presence shines through the scattered veil of reality and beyond.
>But be careful, how you collect them is just as important.
>T̫̹͟h̵̠͡e̸͖ͅy̷̱̪'̨̫͓ṛ̶͝e̪̰ ̪̳ẁ̛̜a͎̝͉t̨͕͡c̭̜̜h̡͍͍i͕̟͡n̺͠ͅg̪͘͝.
>But how do you get these (You)s?
>It's simple. Make posts that get people invested and replying
>How is up to you, but I'll give you some hints
>Just posting won't cut it if you want to reach the big leagues. You need to do some advanced posting for that
>There's two routes
>Firstly, make consistently quality posts. Make the other anons feel strongly, and they'll reward you with (You)s for bringing feeling into their cold, dead souls, if just for a moment. Humor, sadness, lust, it doesn't matter
>But that's hard
>Secondly, make consistently terrible posts
>And I'm talking Canada-tier
>Shittalk people's waifus
>Post in the wrong generals
>Say good things about Season 9
>Do anything to get people so mad at you that they can't stop themselves from replying, and watch the (You)s roll in
>The answer should be obvious to which one I personally recommend
>A quick message from our sponsor, Raycon: Shadow Legends.
>Thanks to a pursuit of certain culinary delicacies, everyone now has to spend indoors.
>And if you're home is anything like mine, than you must also have plywood walls and a neighbor upstairs who owns a trampoline.
>Now's a good time to be courteous neighbor and join the fight against noise pollution.
>Instead of role playing a Venezuelan bread line in the rain, get these wireless headphones.
>It's able to cancel out noise, so you'll be able to relax and not be disturbed by the local meth addicts scraping against your wall.
>I usually like to listen to Fluttershy ASMR sound files while I'm working on these scripts.
>The quality is so good, it feels like I'm actually getting molested.
>Insert the code to get 15% off your next order, and get 5 complimentary ASMR sound files of any mares of your choice.
>What are you waiting for?
>It's the biggest thing everyone is talking about this season.
>Factions.
>Ok, I'll admit it, there's no such things as factions here, because everyone is ready to engage in internet blood sports the moment they disagree on who is a good pony, what is canon, and what is the ideal life style.
>Get into a heated conversation and before you know it, you're up till 4 the debating metaphysics and economics on a thread about pairing a man and a pony together.
>If there is any group with some sense of unity, it is the moderators.
>Who are these elusive figures? 
>no one knows.
>What do they do?
>I never bothered to learn, I just know that they always delete porn before I get the chance to download it myself.
>Here's a quick hint.
>See something don't like on /mlp/?
>Maybe you could help sweep the board clean of disgusting trash by reporting it.
>Good idea!
>Maybe after several hours of deleting porn, the mods will investigate it thoroughly and declare after hours of deliberation that it did not violate any rules.
>Better yet, you can hide it.
>Don't reply to it. 
>The (you)'s only empowers it and allow itself to linger as well as burn into the retina's of the poor souls who gaze upon its gaping mass.
>Don't let it pierce through the veil of this reality and taint the beyond.
>Do your duty.
>Ignore, and let it rot away by itself.
>Since it's every shitposter for himself, I'll do the best of my abilities to describe the type of characters you'll probably meet by going over the boards they browse.
>My Little Progress: Technology isn't Magic
>The gathering place of big brains.
>No brainlets allowed.
>This thread is about uplifting Equestrian society through the advancement of technology, whether it be through the introduction of Human science, or ponies dragging themselves up through trial and error.
>They envision an Equestria capable of pushing the boundaries that magic could never touch and explore new wonders.
>Or they can exploit their well of knowledge and create new industries within a life time and become a tech mogul that rivals the ruling class.
>It can even be as simple as to extend the precious years of your life just you could have more cuddle sessions, whether through artificial skin, or metallic bionics.
>It has its detractors.
>Posters who decry industrialization and irreparable change.
>They then blather on about isolation, to spare Equestria from Humanity.
>Ignore them, or make fun of them.
>These are the very same people who breath through clenched teeth because they're afraid of swallowing a dust mite.
>No one cares.
>But do you know what thread really doesn't care?
>The Slave Pony Thread.
>They acknowledge that slavery is wrong, but they'd continue it anyway, because they believe that Humanity should be above everyone else in society.
>What a bunch of lads.
>It's only when it comes to the bedroom that they don't mind being below, behind, flipped, or in front if they're feeling kinky.
>One of their favorite hobbies is buying extravagant collars for pet/wives.
>But out of all the threads, there is nothing more extreme than the radical thread, Nothing More Pure (NMP). 
>Filled to the brim with moral crusaders and relationship extremists that will fight tooth and nail for a wholesome monogamous relationship.
>All in the name of their prophet, Mi Amore "Can't stop this" Cadenza.
>If you're looking for something more comedic with anime levels of deus ex machina, why not try the Princess Applejack threads?
>Starting out from a love of the most honest background pony 
>As Applejack is at least half-way competent, the dictator Celestia decides as the least retarded of the Mane 6, she'll make this simple farmer into a full-on Princess
>Absolutely nothing can go wrong
>Except...
>It does
>Eventually things devolve to OC donut steel changelings and endless battles between changeling queens and changeling hives
>Did I mention changelings?
>It's, uh, probably best to drop this general after the first 100 threads or so
>It'll save your sanity
>Maybe you'd like something more wholesome and heartwarming?
>Come on down to the Reversed Gender Role Equestria thread, where the men are women, the women are still mostly women, and autism really runs uncontrolled.
>Do you like world building, polygamy centered around males, a traditional family, and having fem-simps at your beck and call for no reason other than you're different and have a dick? This, is the place for you.
>Here you can pretend to be a househusband that is loved by your hardworking wives and many children, who are pure and value you for who you are. 
>...Look, it's wish fulfillment. It's not going to be realistic.
>Anyway! It's not just ponies this little patchwork universe is limited to. You got:
>Griffins, merchants who have been kicked out of 109 countries for no real reason other than their hosts are bigots. Don't worry griffins. I know that pain too. 
>Saddle Arabians, who stone stallions in the street for not wearing their burkas and insist there is one gender, because males are property. A very forward thinking people.
>Bat Ponies, who have ass and titties for days and an incurable thirst for dick. Just... don't try any soup they offer. You see how that worked out for us.
>Minotaurs, who are just fetish material for the very loud hyper breast crowd. 
>Changelings, face-stealing rapists. 
>Diamond Dogs, unwashed, inbred rapists.
>Dragons, giant, pelvis annihilating rapists. Really is a female fantasy reversed huh? 
>And more.
>It's a thread that makes you feel. Fell what, you might ask?
>Makes you feel real fuckin' sad when you leave back to your lonely life with no loving wives, no perfect kids, a cold bed devoid of said wives and children, and a shitty, underpaying job awaiting you in the morning
>But remember boys. Women, still have it tougher than you. You could never do as they do and enjoy it.
>Remember Habbo hotel? Everyone Does. 
>have you ever wanted to pretend that you were raiding Habbo hotel as a pastel colored equine? 
>drop down into the Pony Town threads and make your dreams come true
>make your horse, find your comrades, and keep the docks closed to the red furry menace
>participate in factionalism, internet relationship drama, and an ethnic cleansing of the local furry population. 
>As an added bonus, you can send death threats to children with no repercussions.
>sorry furfags, the docks are closed due to aids. Buck jannies, buck griffons, and buck ziggers. 
>if you're based enough and manage to convince them you're not from reddit, they might even add your horse to one of the pony town tapestries.
>As always, more content to come, so stay tuned
>A warm thanks to the many members of the Merchant's Guild
>Generously funding and bankrolling these videos
>You're all truly wonderful