>You are Anon, and you just don't understand why you can't keep a girlfriend.
>Things always seem to start off well, often your relationship going months with little conflict and plenty of good times.
>Then you invite them over to your place to meet the family, and your parents get along swimmingly with her.
>Yet, there's always this moment where you leave the room to go to the bathroom or grab something from the kitchen that, when you return, it's to an ashen face and wide eyes.
>Oh, and your sweet little sister Cozy Glow smiling at you in that adorable way of hers.
>You smile back despite worrying what's wrong with your girlfriend, give the cutie a peck on the top of the head, then ask your girlfriend if everything is alright.
>Every single one stammers out that they have to go, then, when you follow them to the door, they tell you it's not going to work out and that they're sorry.
>They avoid you like the plague after that, and you wallow in self-pity for a while.
>Cozy usually gets you out of your funk pretty quickly though.
>She just knows how to cheer you up.
>"Don't be sad, big brother, those silly girls are just dummies who don't know a good man when they see 'em. I'll always be here for you though, always and forever. You don't need anyone else..." 


>You are Anon, and you are warm and fuzzy inside.
>Your precious little sister, Cozy Glow, just got you the cutest birthday present, and it's not even your birthday yet.
>"It's your half-birthday, Anon. A big brother as amazing as you deserves two birthdays a year!"
>Well then, you'll have to make sure to get Cozy a half-birthday present too, because she's the best sister a guy could ask for.
>Until then, though, you place Cozy Glow's present in a place of honor on your top shelf of knickknacks.
>The big teddy bear barely fits, but you're willing to move some of your things into a drawer to make space.
>The next day, Cozy comes into your bedroom and immediately looks up to the shelf.
>"Anon, why'd you put Sir Stuffings up there? Don't you like it?"
"Of course I do, Cozy, that's where I put all my favorite things. I mean, it's not like I can sleep with it. I'm eighteen, after all."
>"Well of course you don't sleep with him, silly," Cozy says going over and grabbing a chair to climb up and grab the toy. "Sir Stuffings is supposed to watch over you when you sleep so he can keep you safe."
"Really?" you ask, humoring her.
>"Yeah, but he can't see you from up there. He's not even facing your bed!" she explains, moving to your nightstand and arranging the things there. "See, from right here, he'll be able to watch over you."
"Ah, I see."
>"Lay down so I can make sure he has a good angle."
>You do as she asks, and note that the bear is staring directly at your face.
>She tracks its line of sight, and adjusts it some.
>Now it's looking down your torso towards your lap.
>"There!" she chirps. "Perfect, now Sir Stuffings can do his duty right!"
"Well, I'm glad that's settled," you tell her. "I'll sleep much easier now, I'm sure."
>"Mhm!" she agrees. "Okay then, have fun, Anon! I'll be watching from -er- I mean, playing in my room! Bye!"
"See ya."
>Her head pops back in through the doorway.
>"Oh, and make sure you keep the dust off of him! Especially his left eye!"


>Goddamn, why does this have to be so hard?
>You are Anon, and you are currently studying for a big geometry test and failing at it.
>Why's math gotta be so hard?
>Just as you go over your notes for the hundredth time, there's a knock on the frame of your door, and you see Cozy looking in at you.
>"Hey, Anon, whatcha doing?"
"Hey, Cozy. I'm just studying for a test."
>You sigh.
"It's not going well."
>"What class?"
"Geometry?"
>"Is that all?" she asks before smiling and skipping into the room. "Golly, I can help you with that!"
"Really?"
>"Well, duh! I'm a big girl! I learned my shapes ages ago!"
>You chuckle at your cute, naive sister.
"That's not the kind of test this- oof!"
>Cozy jumps into your lap between you and your desk and smiles up at you.
>"Don't worry, Anon! I'll have you calculating the area of obtuse triangles in no time!"
>And over the next half an hour, she starts doing just that.
>Your little sister really is amazing.
>Not only is she a wiz at geometry, but she's also able to put it in a way you can understand.
>Absently, you start to notice something though.
>She sure is wiggling on your lap a lot.
>Eventually, you have to ask.
"Hey, Sis, you need to go to the bathroom?"
>"Huh?"
"You're squirming a lot."
>"Oh, I'm just trying to get comfortable," she explains. "Why, is it bothering you?"
>She emphasizes the question with a firm grinding backwards with her tiny rump and a big grin.
>You smile back and pat her head.
"Not, just making sure. Wouldn't want you to have an accident on my lap, after all."
>She blinks, then pouts.
>"Golly, you're lucky your so cute, big brother," she says before sighing and turning back to the papers on the desk. "Here, do this practice question."
>You salute.
"Yes ma'am!" you joke before tackling the problem.
>Heh, it's easy now.
>You feel like a genius all thanks to your cute little sister.


>You're laying in your bed, reading a comic when your door creaks and the flushed face of your sister pops in.
>"Big brother...?"
>You immediately set aside your comic and sit up.
"Yeah, Cozy? Is everything alright?" you ask. "You're not having trouble sleeping because of that movie, are you?"
>You knew watching a movie about an unsinkable ship sinking after hitting an iceberg was a bad idea.
>It was just too scary for your innocent little sister to bare, but she had wanted to watch it and you can never say no to her.
>"K-kind of," she mumbles. "I just can't stop thinking about that scene. The one with the car and steamy window."
>Ah.
"I already told you, Cozy, they were just playing a game back there," you explain as she comes into the room fully and walks towards you, hands clenching the front of her nightgown. "The guy wasn't hurting the girl or anything."
>"I know," she says, shifting from foot to foot, her thighs squeezed together. "Um, but now I have this funny feeling."
"Oh? What is it?"
>"Um, f-for some reason, my... my kitty is all hot, a-and itchy," she explains face becoming more flushed as she looks up at you. "Do you know why that is?"
>You have to think about it, thoroughly confused on how that movie and this have anything in common.
>She was squirming in your lap a lot the entire time, and didn't get up once the whole three hours and fifteen minutes, not even to use the bathroom.
>Then it clicks.
"I think I know what it is," you start, throwing your legs over the side of the bed.
>She perks up, stepping closer and placing a hand on your knee.
>"You do? Are you going to help me make the itching go away, big brother?"
"Yeah, I know just what you need," you say cupping her cheek as she leans into your touch.
>Her eyes flutter shut as she leans up towards your face.
"Cranberry juice!" you exclaim, jumping up. "If I move fast, I might be able to get to the store before they close."
>"Huh?"


"Yep," you continue as you grab your pants and pull them on over your boxers, printed with the pattern of rook chess pieces, a gift from your sister. "You must have a urinary track infection from holding in your pee too long. You really have to stop doing that so much."
>She stares at you blankly, her fidgeting stopped as she asks, "Seriously? Are you joking?"
You give her a firm look and answer, "UTI's are no joking matter, sis, but don't worry, some 100% cranberry juice will have you right as rain in no time."
>"Anon, I don't want cranberry juice," she blurts out, a pout on her lips and fists clenched at her sides. "I want you to fu-!"
"Hold that thought until I get back!" You call as you're out of your room and running towards the front door. "The store closes in fifteen minutes!"
>You hear her groan as you put your shoes on, no doubt desperate for relief.
>Don't worry, Cozy, you're big brother is going to get you exactly what you need.