>Be Anon, naturally.
>You've been stuck in this strange world for some time now.
>It took a lot of getting used to, especially when the natives are so...childish...
>You're currently walking to your stall at the Ponyville Market as you think about how you got to this point.
>After a while of giving ponies some advice on common sense (something they seem to lack) they've all collectively decided that you're the town dad
>They expect you to be a father figure, and all that that role entails:
>Some need advice, others may need a hug if they're having a bad day, and others still may need a "boo-boo" kissed to make it better
>You still don't know how kisses cure minor injuries here, but they do! You've long stopped questioning such things, and just attribute it to "magic"
>Eventually though, you remembered an old comic strip and cartoon with something like a lemonade stand, but for advice.
>That's when you decided to set up a stand where ponies come to you for various father-related needs, as the market is one of the most frequented spots in town.
>Snapping partially out of your self-exposition, you realize that you made it to the stall.
>It's early morning, and most ponies are just now getting up to start the day with their overly-sugary breakfasts.
>You like to get settled in nice and early before the inevitable line starts
>Taking a sip of the black coffee you bring with you each morning, you open the stall and put up your sign
>'The Dad is In'
>Soon after, you notice Roseluck making her way over from her and her friends' flower stall
>"D-dad, I need your help!"
>She asked as she looks at you with a sad but expecting look
"How can I help you Roseluck?"
>"Well...It's about Lily...See, this morning the three of us were having our morning bowls of Frosted CelestiOs, when the toy that comes in the box fell into her bowl!
>"I asked if I could have a turn with it, seeing as it's our box, but she won't SHARE! She just keeps hogging it to herself!"
>"She won't let Daisy play either! Can you make her share it with us?"
>Thinking about it a bit, you respond:
"Well, I can't MAKE Lily share it...However, I've been in Equestria long enough to know that having a heart-to-heart conversation with somepony usually works. Try telling her how it makes you feel that she's not sharing with you or Daisy.
>"Thanks daddy, I'll try!"
*CLINK*
>You hear the familiar noise of bits being put onto the stall's table as you see Roseluck trot off
>You never actually charged ponies for any of this, however they'll usually tip anyway
>Some give you bits, others, like Pinkie Pie or Applejack will give you food
>You've tried telling them in the past that they don't need to do this, but they just tell you that they're gonna take care of their dad after all!
>As you wait for more poners to start the day, you think over Rose's 'situation' some more
>It amazed you how important toys are to ponies, even adults!
>You suppose with little vidya and no television around, they had to rot their brains another way.
>You chuckle as you remember the time you went to an 'Adult Toy Shop'
>Feeling it was out of place for such a G-rated society, you checked it out
>You were a bit more disappointed than you'd like to admit that the shop really was for toys, just ones that were more sophisticated, higher quality and of course, higher priced.
>Looking out from your stall, you see more and more ponies taking to the streets, looks like it's time to start the day for real...
 
>"DAAAAAAAAA-HAHADYYYYYYYYYYYY!!"
>Ah yes, the familiar sound of a crying pony; most likely with a boo-boo.
>Infact, you recognize the voice as belonging to the local fashionista, Rarity.
>Ponies gasp as she runs up and they stand aside, one of the rules of your stand being that boo-boos get top priority.
>"Daddy! I-I was sewing up this fabulous new dress see, and-and I was sewing it together, and then...THEN THE NEEDLE GAVE ME A BOO-BOOOOOOOO!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Can you show me where it hurts Rarity?
>You gesture the crying clothier to show you her hoof, and she does so. 
>Yep, she poked herself with a needle; There's a bit of blood on her fur too.
>You take out a handkerchief that you keep on you just for such a situation, and dab it on your tongue to wetten it.
>Then, you wipe the blood off of her wound and plant a kiss onto it.
>After you retract your lips, you watch as the wound closes itself and fully heals.
"Are you feeling better Rarity?"
>*sniff* Yes, thank you daddy! You're the best!"
>You give Rarity a tight hug for added comfort, and watch as she gallops back to her boutique. However, not before...
>*clink* 
>Yep, a tip. She's always generous with her tips. You suppose that's natural since she's the 'Element of Generosity'
>Tips weren't why you did it though, over time you grew to see the citizens of Ponyville as your extended family
>They obviously love you as if you really were their father, and you began to love them as if they were your own family
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>A few more advice givings later, you're closing up the stand for your break
"No Derpy, you shouldn't put the toaster in Dinky's bathtub to speed up her school morning, that's dangerous."
"No Pinkie, you shouldn't start a movement to replace Bits as currency with cupcakes, cupcakes go bad"
"No Applebloom, you and your friends shouldn't try to get cutie marks for staring at the sun, that'll hurt your eyes"
>With the last pony given common sense, you change the sign on your stand
>'The Dad is Out'
>Now, to head to 'Rich's Barnyard Bargains'
>Ponyville market is good and all, but doesn't carry some of the things you need beyond things like produce
>Fumbling around in your pockets, you retrieve your shopping list
>Cereal, milk, bread, and checking up with Filthy to see if he got any of your coffee in
>Have to get it special ordered because you learned the hard way that ponies have their coffee enchanted to be sweetened instead of the black bitterness you love.
>Arriving at the store, you grab your basket and head to the cereal isle
"Frosted CelestiOs, yuck"
>So sugary you couldn't even eat it, even with your sweet tooth! 
>You ended up having to give the box to Pinkie
>And boy did you regret it immediately after you did, as you watched her take the bag out, and chug every piece of cereal right in front of you
>Somehow ponies love this level of sugar, it's why it's the most popular of the princess themed cereals besides being themed after the top ruler of the land.
>Then there's Princess Cadence Sugar Hearts, the newcomer. 
>Hearts made of pure sugar, with already sugary cereal pieces, this one was a bust too
>And then there's the least popular, and the one you came for...
>Luna's Marshmallow Moons, the only one that's tolerable
>Pick out the marshmallow moons and save them for when you want something sweet, still pretty sugary, but actually edible to you
>You put the box into your basket and set off to the bread isle.
>Not too many choices here when there's only two kinds of bread.
>White bread...and white bread with the crusts pre-removed
>Because you're not picky, you grab a loaf of the one with crusts on and keep moving
>Heading to the milk isle, you see a whole menagerie of milk
>Regular, chocolate, strawberry...apple for some reason
>Well, you know which one the Apples buy
>You grab a jug of regular white milk and head to the checkout so they can call Filthy over the intercom
>You approach one of the store's cashiers, a teen-aged mare named Number Cruncher
"Hey Number Cruncher"
>"Oh, hey dad! I didn't see you come in! Are you ready to check out?"
"Almost. Could you page Mr. Rich for me, I was wanting to ask if he got any of my coffee in"
>"Sure thing dad! 
>The pink furred mare picks up a kind of crystal and speaks into it, soon the speakers on the wall loudly repeat:
>"MISTER RICH, COULD YOU COME TO CHECKOUT #3 PLEASE, DAD WISHES TO SPEAK TO YOU!!"
>Soon after, you see one of the richest ponies in town before you
>"Well, Dad Anonymous, it's great to see you! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Hey Mr Rich, was wanting to ask if you got any of my coffee in?
>Filthy suddenly looks a bit disappointed with his ears pressed against his skull
>"Afraid not, a courier came and said that the ponies shipping it were on their way to Ponyville, when they got caught in a natural thunderstorm! They had to hide in a nearby cave because of the scary thunder! I'm sorry if I disappointed you dad..."
"It's ok Mr Rich, it's not your fault! I still have enough left at home to last me until they get here. So I'm not disappointed in you!"
>"T-thank you daddy Anonymous!"
>Filthy then pulls you into a hug
>Despite being the richest pony in town and a rather intelligent businesspony, he still had the childish mindset all ponies have.
>After finishing the hug, he looks at his hoofwatch
>"Oh my Celestia it's fifteen minutes until one o'clock!"
>Rich suddenly grabs the crystal Number Cruncher used earlier
>"Attention shoppers! Rich's Barnyard Bargains will be closing for naptime in fifteen minutes! Please make your way to our cashiers and make your purchases!"
>"We'll reopen at three o'clock when naptime ends! Thank you again for choosing Rich's Barnyard Bargains!"
>"Thanks for stoppin' by dad, I'll let you know when the coffee arives! I hate to cut it short but I gotta prepare the store for our naptime close!"
"No problem Mr Rich, have a good day and a good nap!"
>With that, the Bourgeioushoers disappears into his nearby office.
>You hurry and check out after seeing a line of impatient looking ponies behind you
>"Thanks dad, come again!"
"See you around Number Cruncher!"
>Grabbing your bag of groceries, you head to stash them in your home as ponies get ready for their naptime
>All businesses have to let their employees go home to take a two hour nap by law
>Ponies don't HAVE to sleep, but everypony you know does anyway.
>It's a bit inconvenient when you wanted to go somewhere for lunch only to find that it was closed for two hours
>But such is life in Equestria.