>Dog days of summer in Equestria >Be Anon, out in the garden tending to your tomatoes >Truthfully, the whole garden is just tomatoes >For some reason Twilight thought they'd "help curb your lust for meat" AND THEY NEVER WILL! >you yell at Fluttershy >You think. She hasn't bothered you for the past few days, but you can never be too safe >You prune back a few of the lower leaves, pluck off any fruits eaten by bugs, tossing them in a wheelbarrow for composting >Lucky for you, there's about four big, beefy, round orbs of deliciousness ripe for picking >Which you do, taking them inside for lunch Let me just set you down here a moment, my big delecta-balls >You say as you set the tomatoes on the counter, hoping there was no one in earshot to hear how retarded you are >A hope which was dashed immediately by your front door being broken through "D-did you say 'delectable scrotum', Anon?"" >And unsurprisingly, by none other than the yellow wonder herself You know damn well I didn't, horse. >You watch her as she slowly approach the wall at a snail's pace >Incredibly, while she had the strength to ram her head through 4 inches of solid mahogany, she lacked the momentum to follow through >After a moment her snout slowly, lightly, connects with the wall >"Ouch" >With a sigh, you go over and help remove her from the door >"S-so, no d-d-d-electable scrotum?" "N-not today," you grunt as you pull her free, "and not ever." >You both stare at each other You know you're going to pay for the door, right? >"Yes." >She kicks a splinter with her hoof >"C-can I-" >You sigh, rubbing your temples You may have one. >Fluttering her wings giddily, she prances over to the counter and grabs a tomato, and then leaves through the kitchen door >You close your broken door as best you can, before returning to the kitchen >You grab a large tomato, slice it, season it, and make a tomato sandwich >As you eat, you try to ignore the painful bulge in your pants >It was a "help me step-bro I'm stuck" type of day