Originally Published June 7th, 2018

>Be Discord
>Tonight is anime night, so we're busy browsing through the small catalog of shows that Anonymous brought with him
Wait, whose voice is that? It sounds so rich and lush!
>"Oh you flatterer, it's me! You! Us!"
Of course, how could I forget! Do you have any suggestions on what to watch?
>"I've heard Boku no Pico is interesting."
Ah yes, the perennial story of love, growing up, and a young boy's struggle to find where he truly fits in.
>Before you can get any more terrible puns in, a knock falls on the front door
>"Hello? Any pony home?"
>Ooh, the only mare with a lush enough voice to match your own: Applejack
Could I go get that please? I'm trying to remember which Pico video you're supposed to start with.
>"Of course!" , you declare as you head to the front door
>Opening it, you find Applejack with a sleeping Anonymous slung around her neck
>"Evenin' Discord. Is Fluttershy home?"
>"She is, but she's asleep at the moment, much like our mutual friend there. He is asleep, right? This isn't another one of your forays into the world of fashion, is it?"
>She stares blankly at you
>So hard to make her laugh, this one
>"Naw, it ain't fashion. Anon here just up and died on the way back, and Ah figured Fluttershy probably had his will lying around somewhere."
>Your heart skips a beat
>"Dead?"
>"Yup. His last words were 'Tell Discord that the Farmer could have easily beaten Raditz if he tried."
>Bringing a pair of glasses and a quill into existence, you begin to edit An-wait a second
>You look back at Applejack
>Hiding her face, she bursts out in a stream of country giggling
>"We should have never invited you to watch DBZ.", you mumble as you palm your forehead
>Still giggling, she adjusts herself so that ANon slides slowly down her back and onto the floor
>"Well that's all Ah'm here for. G'night, and have fun with yer cartoons."
>You sigh
>"Yes, good night Appl-yup, on it."
>You snap your fingers, sending AJ and Anon away in a crack
1/

>"Of course!" , you declare as you head to the front door
>With you getting the door, you turn back to the laptop with the anime on it
Let's see...was it Pico to Pico first?
>CRACK
>A purple glow and a smell of ozone fills the room
>Why must she insist on NOT using the front door like everypony else?
>"Discord."
Good evening, Twilight. To what do I owe this little visit? It's a bit late for primae noctis.
>With a snap, you put Twilight in a regal outfit, and put a fetching bridal number on yourself
>"I need to talk with you about Fluttershy.", she replies while removing her robes
>Ho boy, another one of these conversations
>If it's anything like the last one, you'll be a while
Just give me a moment to tidy up please, milord.
>With another snap, your movie viewing couch becomes two chairs and a tea table
>And with a third snap directed outdoors, you have you send Applejack and Anonymous away to Sweet Apple Acres
>He's supposed to help out there tomorrow, anyway
Now, what about Fluttershy would you like to talk about?
>You flutter down into a seat and pinch a teacup up to your lips
Her mane? Her demeanor? The kinda weird smell her hooves have in the morning?
>Still standing, Twilight refuses to answer
Because if it's about her demeanor, I can't really help you.
>"More like you haven't TRIED to help, Discord."
>You set the teacup back down
I'm going to get the chart.
>You pop off your arms and eyes and send them into the next room
>"Oh Celestia, not that horror again..."
>You frown
But you love charts!
>"I love COMPETENT charts!"
2/

>Twilight seems confused and disappointed when she looks at your chart
>"Every time I see that, you somehow manage to make it look worse than the last time."
>You look at your chart
But I removed the tasteful drawing of Luna.
>"Yes, but you added me in its place! And for the record, never, not once in my life, have I ever said the word 'Fren'."
>You groan
But do you get what the chart is saying?
>She squints and cranes her neck
>"...no?"
>You rub the bridge of your nose, cracking your tail against the the chart
So, as you know, magic comes in one of four flavors: Positivity, Negativity, Order, and Disorder. Yes?
>"Yes", Twilight huffs
And these flavors combine to make the eight varieties of magic employed by most creatures.
>You snap your fingers, bringing an ethereal set of The Elements of Harmony into view
Your Elements, for example, are conduits for Positive Order; Harmonious Magic. While I, on the other hoof-
>You snap again, summoning a copy of yourself
-Am a naturally aligned user of Neutral Disorder; Fluctuation Magic.
>Your copy snaps his fingers and you disappear into the void, never to be seen again
>Twilight still refuses to sit, her wings raised high to accentuate her height
>"Discord, every time I ask you about Fluttershy, you bring out that horrendous chart and lecture me on magic alignments like I am some kind of school-aged filly."
>You nod
Correct. You may be as smart as a filly, but you're catching on much faster tha-
>Your fur singes as a bolt of magic grazes you, smashing into a vase behind you
>The blowback sends your chart flying into the wall
>Small shards from the vase tinkle onto the floor
>"WHY. WON'T. YOU. HELP. OUR. FRIEND."
3/

Because, frankly, it's impossible for me to do what you want.
>She stamps her hoof at you, making the cabin shake slightly
>"Liar! You made Spike into The Element of Laughter, and he can't even tell a joke!"
As I recall, it was Spike's dry sarcasm that kept the Saddle Arabians at your last global summit; He had them rolling.
>"They were laughing AT him."
He got the mailing address of their Princess.
>"She wanted to buy him!"
And that's a great honor to have, they don't usually buy slaves!
>The cabin shakes again
>Tongues of flame dance in Twilight's mane
Right, right. I'm getting off topic.
>Producing a pointer, you tap it against the black center of the diagram
As you see here, contradicting allignments will naturally cancel each other out.
>You snap your fingers, and Twilight's crown appears in your hand
>"Hey! Give that back!", she exclaims
>Ignoring her, you begin to force your magic into the relic
>The color of the gem in the center flashes a rainbow of colors, and the crown changes to a felt cabbie
>You grunt as the magic within the Element leaks into you as well, forcing your body into a more equine shape
Now, sure, these magics can temporarily effect changes on each other...
>Twilight stares at the changes, wide-eyed
...but ultimately, naturally, they will return to their normal states.
>You release your hold on the Element of Magic, the gem flashing back to violet as soon as it leaves your claws
Generally, however, most creatures tend to have an aptitude for all kinds of magic, which is why diseases like The Cutie Pox exist, and why I was able to "discordify" our friends back in the day.
>Your body warps back into a draconequus as you finish talking
And that-Oooh~~~, that really loosened up my lumbar.
>You raise your arms to the sky and get a good stretch going
>Your back hasn't felt this limber in a thousand years
>You bend over backwards and grab your legwarmers to really feel the stretch
4/

>"So then Spike really is meant to be Laughter."
Yes, ma'am~~~.
>You peer through the gap in your legs to look at Twilight
>She's finally sitting down, sipping on a cup of tea. Her eyes staring past the floor
>The weight of Spike really being an element of harmony seems to have finally hit her
>The humor of it makes you feel warm deep inside, so you melt into a puddle on the floor
>"But, how does this explain why you can't help Fluttershy?"
>Ugh, this mare
Well, the cloning process you used to make her clones involved saturating them with magic aligned to be Neutral Order, yes?
>She nods, "Yes, that way they'd follow the commands of their Progenitor without question."
But, it had the side effect of making these clones, and Fluttershy by extension, inclined to the use of Order Magic.
>Your voice gurgles out from your puddle
>"Which means any magic you used to change her back to normal would be..."
>You ripple in agreement
Temporary.
>I feel too relaxed to continue narrating, do you mind if I let Twilight take over?
>By all means, please do.
5/

>Be Twilight Sparkle
>Princess of Friendship
>Number One on Celestia's Personal Shitlist
>This year hasn't been too great
>The Kingdom is down two-
>...one, Element of Harmony, and it seems like things will be that way permanently
So that's just it then? Fluttershy will never be the same again?
>A lazy sloshing is the reply
Thanks for the input.
>Seems like Discord isn't going helping you out here
>So, with nothing else to do, you decide to leave
>But on your way out, something about Discord's rancid attempt at chart-making catches your eye
Discord, why is Fluttershy separated from the rest of the chart?
>Using your magic, you float the poster over to the puddle of Discord on the floor
Shouldn't she be in the Neutral Order area with the other ponies?
>The puddle seeps into the floor
Oh, come on! If I made her aligned to Order, then she should be right there in the square marked "Neutral Order"!
>Angrily, you tap the chart
What am I missing!?
>A wet sensation surrounds your hooves
>Ew.
>"Run that past me again."
If I aligned her to Order magic, then why isn't she in the square marked Neutral Order? And get off my hooves, please.
>The liquid courses up into your mane, changing its colors to match the hues of Discord's body.
I didn't mean that you should turn into my hair!
>A hairy chuckle comes from your locks, tickling your ears
>"Sorry! Perhaps you should have been more specific, eh?"
>You can feel your mane stand on end as Discord worms his way out
>A hundred or so small multicolored worms tumble to the floor, and each one has his face on it
>"Speaking of specificity," the small chorus calls out from below you, "why don't you tell me what 'Neutral' means to you when it comes to magic."
6/

>Is he being serious right now?
Neutrality, in magic, is a lack of inclination towards a specific alignment.
>Your chest swells up and a smug grin crosses your face
>By Celestia it feels good to lecture others
>"A lack of inclination?"
>You chest feels ready to burst as you reply with a single, knowledgeable
Yes.
>"And you were taught this? At school? By Princess Celestia?"
>You laugh and shake your head
Of course I was! Well, I taught myself about Magical Neutrality, but-what are you doing?"
>Discord, all of the Discords, are smacking each other's foreheads with their tails
>"Oh, n-nothing. J-just remind m-me", he...they stammer out with each smack, "to send Celly a v-very strongly worded letter, l-later."
>You can feel your chest deflate a bit
To congratulate her star pupil for being a self-starter?
>A final smack rings across the room
>"No, to criticize her appalling teaching methods for Beginner's Magical Theory."
>PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFBBBFBFBFBTTTtttttt
>Is that the sound of your fragile pride being busted open, or is it Discord with a comically over-sized whoopee cushion?
>Probably both.
>Either way, something behind you is letting out a lot of air and flapping loudly
>"Although," the flapping noise seems to say, "it does explain her behavior, don't you think?"
>"Magical Neutrality has so much nuance to it, so much feeling! Removing that pull between opposing magics makes it feel so...bland."
>The flapping turns into a chuckle
>"Though, I guess I should be impressed as well. Very few have managed to isolate a magic type, and here you did it by accident!"
Yeah. Feels...great.
7/

>A yellow blur is going back and forth in front of your eyes
>"Twi~li~ght? Hello~?"
>You shake your head, refocusing your vision
Sorry, Discord. Did you say something?
>All of you feels tired
>Discord looks almost concerned for a moment, but quickly flashes back towards his usual look
>"Well, as I was about to say before you so rudely decided to go space cadet on me; Congratulations!"
>A few ballons poof into existence, and shimmering gold confetti rains down on you from the ceiling
>A piece of it lands on your nose; it's a small, smiling, golden version of you
>"You did it!", it cheers
>You snuffle, and the tiny paper-creature screams as it falls off your snout
Yup, I sure did it alright. I doomed my friend to a hollow existence, I get it.
>Turning to glare at Discord, you stop yourself halfway and turn back. The effort would be wasted on h-.
>"Actually, your little blunder may have just saved her life!"
GAH!
>You fall off of the couch, throwing your bla-wait. When did you get on the couch?
>The floor thuds as you make impact
Did you put a blanket on me?, you mumble into the wood
>"Yes. I did it when you were trying to stare a hole into the wall."
>With a snap, the blanket floats away down the hall
Oh. Thanks, I guess. But I still don't see h-OW
>Something large and heavy just smacked the top of your head, and it slides to the floor with a thump
WHAT THE HAY, DISCORD?, you holler as your clutch your head
>He chuckles "Sorry, but I just had to. Now I assume you have read this book, yes?"
>Smarts like a sonuvab-
-Ook? You dropped. A. BOOK. On. My. Head?
>You violently lurch around and cradle up the book in your hooves
>Poor little baby.
>"Yes. I. Did. Dramatic, much? Now, you have read this one, right?"
>Gingerly, you flip the book around to read its dusty cover
8/

"Magical Alignment, by S. Crab; Hunter."
>An older text from the restricted section of Canterlot's Library, but nothing special.
>Wait.
DID YOU STEAL THIS FROM THE RESTRICTED SECTION?
>"Oh, like you're going to tell on me? Your hands are redder than mine here, Twilight. Metaphorically speaking. I think RGB color values put mine closer to red, but that's beyond the point."
>He has a point. Multiple ones at that.
Alright. Yes, I've read this book. Why does it matter?
>"Well if you turn to page 394, it tells you that objects or creatures tethered to the Pure Flavors don't stick around very long outside of their planes; they either fade back or are worn down..."
>Discord lurches towards you, drawing a cape across his face
>"...which, for Fluttershy, means death!"
>A church organ sounds off from the back of the house.
>You take a step back from the phantom of the cottage.
Yes, which is why I've been refreshing her connection t-
>No. No way.
Discord?
"MMMYes?"
Do you mean to say that this past year, all I've needed to do was cut her connection to the Plane of Order?
>Discord starts shaking his head
>"Pffft, nononoyes."
>A surge of heat is building up from your ears.
9/

And you didn't tell me this, why?
>Discord floats over to you, licks his talon, and pinches your ear.
>You hear a sizzling noise, and the surge of heat subsides.
>"Because there's no guarantee Fluttershy will end up as the same old Shy we all loved back before your little science experiment."
>You hear a snap, and suddenly the both of you are on the couch.
>There's a teacup in your hoof, and rest of the cottage is cleaned up as well.
What do you mean "She wouldn't be the same"? She has all the same memories as the old Fluttershy!
>Discord nods, then take a sip of his tea.
>Some of his head goes into the cup as he drinks.
>"Yes, plus memories that are completely unique to her."
>He takes another sip, and his head flows back from the cup.
>"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for change for change's sake. But I'd like this to be a good change for everypony."
>You sigh and take a sip of your own tea.
Well, this is...it's crap.
>"I know, it's a hard decision for anyp-"
Not that. Your tea. What is this, Rhubarb and Granite?
>"Feldspar, actually."
>The two of you laugh for a moment.
Ah, I, thank you for your concern Discord. But I'd be fine with Fluttershy coming back in any amount.  Plus keeping her tethered to The Plane of Order is such a drain on my magic reserves.
>Discord smiles at your comment.
>"I'm really glad to hear that, Twilight. Now, go on, you're late for your meeting with Anonymous."
Late?
>What does he mean "late"?
I've only been here for an hour. Two hours tops!
>Discord tuts and points at the calendar and clock.
>It's Friday morning.
WHAT?!
>No! My perfect personal punctuality record! Broken!
>As you fly out the window towards your castle, you hear Discord let out a hearty laugh.
10/

>Be Applejack
>Just a second ago, you were dropping Anon off at Fluttershy's house.
>But right now, you're on the porch at home.
>Discord used his chaos magics to send the two of ya to Sweet Apple Acres, or somethin.
>A small note is pinned to your door, level with your eyes.
"Dearest Applej...Applejapple? what is her name again...
Dearest Appleslap,
 I know Anon had canceled his plans to help you bring in the onion harvest, but congratulations! His scheduled opened up again, and he is more than willing to help! Just make sure to keep him on the farm for all of tomorrow for me, please.  Twilight and I are planning something of a party for him.
Best wishes,
Discord."
>You pull the note down and head inside, quietly heading up the stairs so as not to wake Granny Smith.
Old jenny has ears like a fruit bat..., you whisper
>Reaching your room, you quietly slip inside and head to the window
>All looks calm in the fields, and the town is just as quiet as before
>You drop Anon onto the rug by your bed
You stay there, and I'll getcha my spare sheets, Anon.
>"Mmmblem", is his response.
>You head to your dresser and grab the sheets from the bottom drawer.
>As you stand back up, you look out the window towards town for a certain house.
>And there it is, right smack between your farm and Ponyville proper:
>Anon's house, just as empty as when it was rebuilt last year.
What's the point of havin a house if ya don't even live in it?, you wonder aloud.
>You draw the blinds and cover Anon in his sheets to borrow.
>And, after placing your hat on the nightstand, you flop into your bed.
>And, halfway between Sweet Apple Acres and Ponyville, a limb parts the shades of Anon's bedroom window.
11/11