Originally Published December 22nd, 2012

>N: Day OOOOOH YEAH in Equestria.
>N: You are Randy Savage-
MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE.
>N: …Macho Man Randy Savage, and you are currently in the uppermost branches of a tree.
RESPECT THE MACHO MADNESS MAN.
>N: You don’t really remember how you got to Ponyville; the last memory of your life on Earth involved driving with your wife.
THE BEAT GOES ON MAN.
>N: ….yes. You missed her sometimes, but right now you were focusing on the Yellow Menace that had chased you up a tre-
IF YOU GO AGAINST THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE YOU CAN ONLY EXPECT TO BE DEFEATED.
>N: As I was saying; Flutt-
COMPARITIVELY SPEAKING, YOU ARE LIKE A LONE EARTH PONY IN THE REALM DRAGONS. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SEA-PONY IN THE OCEAN.
>N: Uh-
AND IIIII AM THE ENTIRE OCEAN; YEAH.
>Fluttershy slowly begins crawling up the reverse side of the tree.
>N: Randy…
PINKIE PIE IS ICING THE CHAMPAGNE AS WE SPEAK. 
>”OHMYGOSHIMSOEXCITED!” Pinkie is sitting by the tree with a bucket of ice and a bottle of Berry Punch Special Vintage Champagne.
BECAUSE TODAY IS THE DAY THAT THE YELLOW MEN-ASS IS GOING DOOOOOOOOOOWN…OH YEAH.
>Fluttershy swoops down on you and puts you in a full nelson, giddily dragging you towards her cottage.
[INSERT GIRLY SCREAM HERE.]
>Using the above scream, you pelt her with slim jims and with tears in your eyes, offer her the Championship Belt in exchange for your freedom.
>”O-oh, you’re ab-bout to find out what I’m ch-champion at.” Her eyes light up with carnal passion as she speaks.
>The door to her house closes, and the sounds of your girlish Macho Man screams of “NO” fill the forest.
>N: Well fuck; Fluttershy wins…Now about that champagne Pinkie…..
END.