Originally Published July 6th, 2013 >Day Completely Different in Equestria >You are Anon. >Do the morning Triple-S. >Wake up. >Have a mini-existential crisis while you wonder why you keep shitting in your bed. >Burn the fourth bed this week. >Head downstairs to grab a delicious bowl of Pinkie Smacks. >It’s part of a balanced breakfast. >”It’s four in the afternoon. So wouldn’t it be lunch?” Well shit. You’re right! >You turn around to further thank the mystery voice and find Fluttershy on your couch. >Dammit. Why are you in my house? >”I’m here to guess your fetish and make you love me. I also came to give you another laxative because you keep waking up late.” >Stupid question. You already knew th-. >Laxatives? >You grab a nearby calculator as you sit down to eat. Alright Fluttershy. The both of us know you aren’t going to leave until you make your guess, and I have to figure out how much money you owe me before I go to work. >Fluttershy stares at you, slightly confused. >”What do you mean, Anon?” >You jam the first spoonful of cereal into your mouth as you start pushing buttons on the calculator and drawing graphs on the table. I mean that as long as you don’t interrupt me, you can guess my fetish. >You can feel her smile burn into you from across the room. >You can see her move behind you out of the corner of your eye. >You start to regret what you told her as you pray she doesn’t guess pegging. >You brace for the feeling of cold dildo pressing its way into your colon. >*snip snip* >Umm. >”Are haircuts your fetish, Anon?” >You sigh. No Fluttershy. They aren’t. >You can feel the scissors brush past your ears. >”Eeep! Did I get you ears?” >You turn around. No, no, you didn-WAIT A MINUTE! >Where Fluttershy should be clumsily wielding a pair of hair shears, is a tape recorder. >Fluttershy herself is rocking slowly by the sink. What the hell are you doing? >”I NEVER EVEN WANTED TO BE A RAPIST! MY MOTHER MADE ME DO IT!” >Wow. >She rears up and grabs your shoulders. >”DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GUESS FETISHES AT BLOW-UPSTALLIONS FOR FIVE YEARS?” >WOW. Fluttershy…I’m- >”I always wanted to be a lumberjack.” …Beg your pardon? >”LEAPING FROM TREE TO TREE AS THEY FLOAT DOWN THE MIGHTY BRITISH COLTLUMBIA! THE LARCH! THE FIR! THE MIGHTY SCOOTS PINE!” >She walks out of the left door of your kitchen and reappears through the right door a second later, wearing suspenders and a flannel. >You can hear a chorus of manly voices singing somewhere in your house. Fluttershy what are you doing? >”THE SMELL OF FRESH CUT TIMBER! THE CRASH OF MIGHTY TREES! AND WITH MY ANON BY MY SIDE, “ >You find yourself by Flutternutter’s side, wearing a white blouse and blue skirt. WHAT THE HELL! >“WE’D SING, SING, SING.” >Flutters wraps her wing around you as someone plays a piano you don’t remember buying. >”I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. I sleep all night; I work all day.” >The camera jumps over to Spike and the rest of the Mane 6 and Applejack, who are all dressed up as Mounties. >”She’s a lumberjack and she’s o-” STOP! >You pry off Fluttershy’s wing and the music stops. The choir of Mounties scrambles out through the back door. >”So comedic musical numbers about sociopaths becoming lumberjacks aren’t your fetish, Anon?” Why on earth would you think that? >She stares at the floor and kicks at it with her hoof. >”I thought it was sexy?” >Your nose almost breaks upon your hands impact with your face. >You rest your hands upon her wings and grip tightly. Get out of my house. >You throw her out through the wall before you head off to work at your tobacco shop. >Today was a Flying Circus kinda day.