Originally Published March 1st, 2018

>Dawn of the First Day in Equestria
>You are Anonymous
>You're not sure why, but it seems that Princess Luna wants to see your "hot monkey d"
>Probably because she's been coming over every day this week, first thing in the morning, to ask you and anyone within a five-mile radius if she can see it
>Granted, it's a nice change from Flutternutter: Luna has a kind of beauty to her that Shy just doesn't have, on top of being JRHNBR.
>But the thought of a demigod wanting to peep your ween doesn't quite fill you with happy feelings either.
>Plus, Fluttershy didn-
*CRASH*
>...'t break something every time she visited
>Stepping out of your front door, you make a quick round of your house to see where she crashed this time
>And find her hooves poking out from underneath your pile of firewood
"Good morning, Princess. Would you like some help getting up?"
>You can see her ears just barely poke up from under a log.
"GREETINGS ANONYMOUS. I FEAR IN MY HASTE TO ARRIVE THAT I MAY HAVE IMPALED MYSELF ON YOUR WOOD."
>Far in the distance you faintly hear a small yellow horse cry out in anger
>You chuckle to yourself
>Grabbing the Princess by the hoof, you pull her out from under the logs
>Thankfully, she doesn't seem to be injured, but she does look tired as hell
>Like she hasn't slept for about a week
"Are you okay, Princess?" you ask, "You don't look very-"
"NERVOUS? NOT AT ALL. I AM JUST SO EX...INTRIGUED TO WITNESS YOUR HOT MONKEY D THAT I MAY HAVE FORGONE SOME SLEEP"
>Come to think of it, you haven't slept all week yourself, for much the same reason
>To that end, you force a yawn
"I*YAAAAWN*...I'm sorry Princess Luna, I'm just so tired lately that I don't think I'd be a good host to y-
"FEAR NOT," Luna proclaims, assuming a shaky yet unmistakably regal posture.
"FOR WE, BEING GRACIOUS AS WE ARE, SHALL RETURN TO VISIT YOU ONCE YOU HAVE RESTED."
>With that, Luna leaps back into the air, kicking over your wind vane as she heads back to Canterlot
>Fuck

>Dawn of the Second Day in Equestria
>You tried getting some sleep after Luna left yesterday, but laid awake in paranoia instead
>After all, she's basically the goddess of dreams, and who knows what she could do to you
>Rolling out of bed, you wearily pour yourself a cup of hot mud
>No literally, Twilight showed you this clay patch in the Everfree Forest that would make coffee piss itself, and now it's all you drink in the morning
>For the past week though, it's all you've taken in, period.
>Dream Goddess can't diddle you if you're awake, right?
>As if on cue, you hear a loud crash, followed by frantic splashing
"Guess I better go say hi," you say as you down your mud and head outside.
>In your backyard, you can see a hole in the cider shed you and AJ built one week
>Stepping inside, you can see two blue forelegs frantically flailing from inside one of the casks
"ANONYMOUS, IS THAT YOU? ASSIST US, FOR WE ARE DROWNING IN YOUR JUICES!"
>A faint, far away sobbing reaches your ears
>Oh how that yellow horse's pain nourishes your tired soul.
>You extend a hand to the Princess and pull her free of her alcoholic prison
>Somehow, she looks even worse than yesterday. 
>"Has she really been staying awake this whole time?", you wonder to yourself
>After shaking off most of the cider, Luna turns towards you
"ANONYMOUS! YOU SEEM WELL! WE MUST REQUEST YOU SHOW US YOUR HOT MONK-"
>You make a motion to cunt punt her, an instinct developed from years of dealing with Fluttershy
>It's only when your hands grab her face do you realize what you're about to do.
>Luna's expression quickly turns to one of shock
>Think of something, you faggot!
"There's a tradition first!"
>Smooth.
>You move your hands away from Luna's face, praying she won't destroy your ass
"A TRADITION? I ADORE FOLK TRADITIONS!"
>Luna begins giddily doing a tired hop about the small shed.
"ohthankgod, Yes, a tradition! But I must prepare the materials first. Come back tomorrow, and then you can...see my hot monkey d."
>Almost like an energetic tortoise, Luna sweeps you up in a hug
"THIS IS MOST EXCITING! WE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT!"
>As she sets you down, she stares at you for a moment, and you could almost swear you see her blush
"m-MAKE READY THE PREPERATIONS. I SHALL RETURN ON THE MORROW!"
>Luna pushes you onto one of the casks, and breaks down the shed door in her hurry to return to Canterlot
"Well, you've done it now Anon."
>You aren't really sure why you told her to come back tomorrow, or why there was a "tradition" involved in whipping out your dick
>Really, you just weren't sure how much more damage your little house could take
>You set the shed door awkwardly against the frame and head back inside, grabbing as many bits as you can off the counter
>You head towards the market, dreading what punishment will befall you

>Dawn of The Final Day in Equestria
>Here you are, running on over a week without sleep, hoping and praying that you won't be killed in a few hours
>The plan came to you when you were at the market, trying to think of a way to keep Luna away from your hot mo-
>You really have to stop saying that, but you are certain that this plan will keep her at bay
>You're pretty sure Celestia would kick your ass for flashing Luna anyway, regardless of the context
>From outside, you can hear a faint flapping, signaling what very well could be your doom
>And then you hear a loud crash, the snapping of branches, and a thud
>...
>...
>You cautiously open up the door to find Princess Luna, out of breath and raggedy
>Past her is the remains of your pet tree, George
"ANONYMOUS, WE HAVE ARRIVE TO VIEW YOUR HOT MONKEY D AS YOU PROMISED."
>Well, here goes nothing.
"Princess, welcome! As, per tradition, I must ask you be dressed comfortably before we begin, like myself"
>You gesture at your "comfy" clothes: a faded shirt and a ratty pair of flannel pj pants
>Luna looks at you, confused.
>Oh god she knows
"BUT I ALREADY AM COMFORTABLE"
>Thank god she doesn't know
"Yes, but you must be more comfortable than that!"
>You hand her a pink beanie with bunny ears on it, which she gingerly places on her horn
"L-LIKE THIS?"
>No, not at all
"Yes! Precisely!"
>You step to the side and wave her into your home, hoping and praying that this works
>Closing the door behind you, you turn and find yourself face to face with Princess Luna
"WELL, ANONYMOUS? IS THIS PART OF THE TRADITION AS WELL?!"
>A loud, almost painful ringing fills your ears
>Does this mare not have an inside voice?
"Actually, you reminded me of a step I almost forgot!"
>You jam a finger in your ear, hoping you can dig out the tinnitus before it takes root
"During the tradition, we must speak silently. Otherwise, we risk offending the...hot monkey gods?"
>Luna stares at you for what feels like an uncomfortably long time before clearing her throat to speak
"Is this better?", she whispers
>You give her a thumbs up
"Excellent., Now, follow me."
>You lead Luna into your living room, where a two massive piles of blankets and pillows rest on the floor
>The stallion at the market was practically kissing your feet after you offered to buy all them
>You gesture towards them, trying to be as mystical as you can
"Please, choose a seat."
>Luna shoots glances back and forth between you and the blankets a few times
>Eventually, her gaze settles on you
>Well, you've lived a long enough life
>You hold your breath, hoping the end will come swiftly
"...May I take the one on the right? I do no wish to offend any of your customs."
>You let out a deep sigh, and stealthily check the back of your pants to make sure you didn't shit yourself
"Of course, Princess. Make yourself as comfortable as possible"
>With your "blessing", Luna heads over to the traditional right-heap of pillows and blankets and nestles herself in
"Okay Anonymous, what is next in the ritual? Is there a blood sacrifice?"
>As you flop down into the other pile of blankets, you fish a remote control out from your pockets
>Damn ponies can use electricity, but they still haven't figured out heating units
>Bullshit.
"Actually Princess, this is the final part of the ritual," you say as you push a button on the remote
>Your t.v. flickers to life, and on it is a rather cheery fellow with an afro and a canvas
"We must watch the hot monkey god paint a portrait."
>...
>The next few minutes go by in a painful silence, with no noise but the gentle *shwffing* and soft conversation coming from the t.v.
>Breaking the tension, you feel a hoof rest on your hand
"Anonymous?"
>Shit.
"Yes Princess Luna?"
>You pause the video, and silence returns to the room.
"This isn't a tradition of yours, is it?"
>You take a deep breath, terrible futures playing out in your head
"N...no."
>Her hoof slowly lifts from the back of your hand
"I see."
>You brace yourself for the cool embrace of death
>But instead, find a warm hoof work its way into your palm
"M-may we continue watching this show with you?"
>Well then
"S-sure"
>Another ten minutes into the episode, and Luna has fallen asleep, her hoof still in your hand
>You weren't expecting the day to end like this when you got out of bed this morning
>Sure, you were planning to solve both your sleep deprivation problems in one go, but not quite like this
>And as you succumb to your own lack of sleep, you find yourself hoping that Luna will visit you again tomorrow morning