This is a collection of all Lichen greens in (mostly) chronological order, counting from when she first appeared in thread #16. Almost definitely written by multiple anons. Some parts may be somewhat NSFW.

>Brushing aside some snow, to find some lichen to eat
>Find Lichen instead
>What is she doing hiding under the snow?



>A few snowponies are searching the snow, looking for spots where they could find some lichen to nibble
>A bit of a snack before the other snowponies bring in some juicy, big fish to eat from the river
>Wait, there, peeking from within the snow, that looks like lichen
>A lot of lichen as the ponies move the snow away and have a little taste
>But why is the lichen so...spongy? It should be hard and crunchy and-
>This is a mane. A pony mane.
>The rest of the pony covered in snow moves a little, making the snow fall off of her coat as she looks over her shoulder at the other snowponies with equal amount of surprise on all of their faces
>It's Lichen, eating lichen, while pretending to be lichen?
>She must have found a tasty patch of lichen and got covered by the snow while having a little taste
>Or else she was trying to hoard all of it for herself before any other snowpony could have any
>One of the snowponies grabs Lichen by the tail and drags her away from the lichen while the other ones start to move to gather it up and bring back to the village for everypony to eat
>Lichen chews the lichen still in her mouth with a grumpy look on her face as she's dragged by the tail along on the snow and back to the village, followed by the rest of the snowpoies bringing all the rest of the lichen with them
>She was going to share it eventually she says, but just wanted to have a taste or two before bringing it all back...



I was thinking about Lichens qt mark origin and came up with various little options

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"I ate this weird plant I found and it appeared"
"Ok"

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"What?"
>Lichen looks at her butt
>"WAAAAAAAAH WHAT IS THAT!?"
>Gets spooked

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"The other foals used to nibble on my mane and tail so that appeared to let them know eating me had no nutritional value"
"Can I try eating your mane?"
>"No"
"But it looks like it could taste good"

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"Well my mommy had a sore throat so I went out and found her a cool looking lichen and made tea with it and it helped her heal"
"Oh, did you magically know that it would help your mother?"
>"No I just thought it looked cool"

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"I gathered up a lot of lichen as a filly and made myself a big lichen bed and slept on it, the next day the cutie mark had appeared"
"That's pretty easy"
>"Maybe you should try sleeping on things to get one"

"Lichen, how did you get your cutie mark?"
>"I am Lichen, everything about me i lichen, I was born with it as I slowly grew under the snow only for you other ponies to eventually find me"
"Lichen I literally helped your mother deliver you"
>Lichen begins to pout
"Is this why you bury yourself in the snow every now and then with only your mane sticking out?"
>Lichen scrunches
"Lichen, you are not lichen, you are pony"
>"I could be lichen..."
"No, lichen does not eat fish for one thing"
>"You don't know, we could someday find fish with lichen growing on it..."


>Ah, (You) have been tasked with a task that is quit tasking
>taxing, but you did not what to break the chain of tasks
>You...really need to find a hobby
>Anyways you got to go fetch Lichen who seems to be skipping out on a few things she needs to do
>she does get them done, eventually, but it'd be nice for them to be done on time
>You soon locate what is pretty much where she is
>Not hard to find a pony making squees and other happy frolic noises in the snow while throwing up snow and pieces of lichen as she rolls, rubs, spins, jiggles, wiggles, spazzes, frolics, flops and just makes a mess of everything in a little dent in the otherwise semi-pristine snow
>Almost like giving herself a snow/dirt/lichen bath of sorts
"Lichen"
>She spins into an upright position from lying on her back and wiggling around in the mess and looks at you, a piece of lichen falling off of her mane
>"I swear I was getting to it, but then I found this perfect patch of lichen and it just looked so comfy..."
>You sigh and look around
"You know you-"
>And then get distracted by some strange noises in the distance
>What was that, was that a pooprat? Was that a freaking pooprat?
>You have several questions
>You keep listening for a while before continuing
"You know you should do your tasks on time instead of pushing them off while getting distracted, and then being in a big rush to finish every-"
>You have turned back to look at Lichen, and find her to be missing, there is just lichen but no Lichen
>And next to the little hole she dug up while rubbing herself in the snow is an odd, hastily put together pile of snow with a bit of her mane or tail sticking out from the side of it
>You make a pokerface and go over to said pile and start digging her out
"Hiding won't-"
>You moved some of the snow away and it's not her mane, it's an actual piece of lichen
>A bit of crunching snow makes you look to the left where a few evergreen trees are standing and Lichen is peeking out from behind one of them, looking extremely smug that she fooled you
>You grab the piece of lichen and throw it in her face, knocking her onto her butt
>Which in turn disturbs the snow on the tree, which falls off and on top of her, covering her in snow with only her hooves sticking out



>"Hello everypony, today I will teach you all how to cook with lichen, with Lichen, in cooking with lichen with Lichen, and here we have a fish"
"Why do we need to cook the fish? Can't we just eat it raw?"
>"Yes, but you can also grab some lichen and crumble it on top of the fish like this"
"And then what?"
>"Nothing it's done"
"Is that really cooking?"
>"Yes. Now, how to make tea, which cures many ills"
"Ooohh, medicine"
>"We take some water and then we make it boil, and then we take this piece of lichen, and then we put it into the water"
"Do you then use some kind of mystical druid powers to make the medicine?"
>"No, we let it soak in there for a little bit and then take it out, and it's ready"
"Oh...and that will cure a pony?"
>"Sometimes, but next up we will prepare a tasty stew with Lichen"
"With lichen?"
>"Yes, soup with lichen made with Lichen, now for the soup we take some water and then we make it boil, and then we take this piece of lichen, and then we put it into the water"
"Isn't that the same as the tea?"
>"No, because we are using a bowl instead of a cup"
"Oh ok"
>"We let it soak in there for a little bit and then take it out, and it's ready"
"Just like the tea"
>"Yes, but this time it's soup"
"Because it's in a bowl?"
>"Because it is in a bowl"
"Can we eat the lichen we used?"
>"If you don't need to make any more soup or tea, then yes"
"Can we leave the lichen into the soup then?"
>"Yes, you can"
"Can we also add the fish from before into the soup?"
>Suddenly Lichen looks surprised, adds the fish into the bowl of lichen-water and now there is a piece of fish and a piece of lichen floating around in hot water
>Lichen and the little snowpony fillies and colts all stare at the bowl in amazement like it's the second coming of Jesus



"Lichen!"
>"Mhwhwa?"
"The village elders require a ceremonial ceremony around lichen, but they don't know any and need you to come up with one"
>"Well what makes you think that I know any-"
>"Oh, right, hmm"
>"Can't we just scream at lichen really loud?"
"We already do that with a lot of things, they need something more specific and unique"
>"Ok I got it, we dig a small little pony sized hole, and then bury the pony with only their head peeking out from the snow"
"Sounds promising"
>"And then they channel their inner lichen by being in the hole"
"For how long?"
>"Until they feel like lichen"
"And what does a lichen feel like?"
>Lichen thinks for a moment, then lies down on the ground and rolls onto her back and points her hooves straight up into the air
>And then looks back at the pony she's speaking with
>"You see?"
"No"
>Lichen flops onto her side
>The other pony is quiet
>Lichen begins to move her hooves up and down, creating a one sided snow angel
"Lichen this is serious"
>"Just throw some random lichen in hot water and make everypony have a sipp of it while making some weird shaman noises"
"It'll have to do"
>"I'm hungry"
"Go fish"
>"But I'm not good at fishing...and the water is cold..."
"Then eat lichen?"
>"Already did, I need something more than lichen, my body says so..."



>"Lichen, the sexy vixen, bossing around stallions as her tail...flickens? Yeeeah"
"Lichen, what...what are you up to?"
>"Rhyming, it's rhyme time I'm prime chime in these words of mine"
"For what purpose?"
>"It's pretty neat, wanna touch my teat?"
"W-what?"
>"Rhyming, you say things and then follow up with more things that rhyme, like adding a bit of thyme"
"Phew...I was worried for a moment that you wanted me to...you know..."
>"About what? Did you want my butt? My good glute cut? But I'm not in a rut, don't turn this into smut"
"I would not touch your behind even if you paid me in pine cones"
>"Pine cone from the pine zone, make mine own-thine own full-blown moss-grown"
"Can't you just be lazy or soak lichen in water like usual? All these words are confusing me"
>"But what's the fun in that, we're just having a simple chat, please give me a pat for this chitchat I'm a cutesy wildcat"
"No"
>"Awww..."
"You're needed for fishing duty"
>"I'd rather be a sleeping beauty..."
"No is a no, go and plough through the snow"
>"Now you are doing too though"
"The what?"
>"The rhyming"
"How tiring"
>"Buy my mixtape"



makes me wonder if she has any sisters, if only to see what a pile of snowponies that look like lichen would be...
>go on a stroll through the taiga
>walk over a patch of greenery
>snowmares spring up and drag you into the lichen pile



>You are Anonymous, but with the snow ponies
>it is what it is
>And you have to locate a specific snowpony named Lichen
>So basically find her mane sticking out from the snow since she is once again avoiding village responsibilities
>After a bit of semen killing scrotum freezing dick shrimping sock wetting snow plowing, you find her and give the little poof ball of some shade of green that probably has an official name a little poke
"Lichen"
>And a filly peeks out from the snow, this is not lichen nor Lichen
>"You want my big sis? She's not here"
>And she hides back into the snow...ok then, You did not know Lichen had a little sister, but you do not know a lot of things
>There, you spot another similar poof of mane hair sticking out from the snow so you go poke that with your shoe
"Lichen"
>And another filly lifts her head out from the snow
>"I'm not lichen, I'm a pony"
"No I'm...never mind"
>She grumpily gets back into the snow and you spot a large amount of similar things
>and one by one you go and poke them, expecting to find Lichen but instead find fillies who all look a bit like her
>Either Lichen looks much younger than she is and she has been pushing out foals from her vagina like her womb was a clown car, or her parents fuck, and do a lot of it
>By the 7th spot of lichen that turned out to be another little filly and not Lichen, you feel like ragequitting but then spot a way, way bigger poof than the rest that looks a bit different
>There is no way that can be a filly
>Gentlemen, we got her
>You grab it and give it a bit of a pull
"Lichen-"
>It's actual fucking lichen
>You let out a frustrated screech of pure autism that is enough to turn any frog gay for years to come
>in the village, Lichen pauses eating fish and wonders what that strange noise was in the distance
>And then remembers she needed to go get her little sisters from playing in the snow
>which she decides to forget again as her fish is still only halfway eaten
>Maybe a bit of lichen for dessert while at it



>You are Lichen, an unhappy mare in this moment in time
>your hooves are wet and you're standing in a cold river
>You'd rather be sleeping in the comforting insulation of snow
>But you're mom dragged you to catch fish with the rest of the mares
>Which bring us to why you're standing unhappily in the wate-
>You don't even get to finish that internal sentence as a salmon jumps up from the water and hits you right on the face, knocking you onto your butt with a sploosh
>Now your butt is wet too, and cold
>"Lichen, the fishes are practically jumping into your face and you still manage to not catch them"
>You could swear the fishes are doing this on purpose, this is the third one that has jumped into your face while they seem to be avoiding the other ponies
>You get up and try to shake your booty dry with minimal success, just spraying water everywhere with your soggy tail
"Mom I can't catch any, do I really need to?"
>Your mom snatches up yet another salmon from the river and tosses it to the fillies at the shore loading them onto a sleigh
>"Yes you do, you can't support yourself with just lichen alone, what would your future husband say when he finds out you can't catch any fish?"
"I was thinking he'd do all the fishing for the both of us"
>"And why would he do that and let you just laze around?"
"In return I'd give out lots of sexual service-"
>Your mother throws a fish in your face while the fillies giggle and a few of the other mares give you dirty looks



>You are Lichen and today, today you realized that as lichen, you are lacking
>For lichen grows on something, yet you have not grown on anything
>What even does it mean to grow?
>Such are the thoughts in your head as you lie on top of an exposed large stone
>Maybe you will spread and grow on top of this rock if you lie on top of it for long enough
>It might take a long time though, you've never seen anypony do such a feat
>You nibble on some lichen growing on the rock that you are lying on top of as you keep pondering
>You also herd one pony tell to the other that they're "growing" on her but...what does that mean?
>A pony spreading on top of another one like lichen as the two fuse into one? That sounds scary!
>You roll around and point your hooves up into the air
>Talking of fusing, you heard that when a stallion and a mare make fillies, they fuse into one, yet you've never seen your father or mother being all fused and stuff, they are always separated from one another like all ponies
>You start to move your hooves almost as if you were trying to gallop against the sky to get a bit of blood flowing
>Or maybe this is one of those things ponies named Lichen can't do even thought you can do the same thing with lichen
>Like the time you soaked yourself in warm water and then passed the bath water on as tea
>Some stallions were pretty interested in the idea, but when you told all the ponies what it was they were not very thrilled
>Soaking in warm water felt good though, but after you get out it can get a bit chilly with all your hairs wet to the core
>You roll onto your side and accidentally slip off of the rock with an "Oof!"
>If you were to fuse with something, you would want it to be fire, fire is warm and pretty
>But just like lichen, if you throw ponies into fire they'll burn
>You start to roll on your side to move away from the rock and then wiggle your body left and right to dig yourself into the snow a little, and then with your hooves cover up the rest of you until comfy in the snow like you usually like to be
>Fillies grow into mares, plants grow into food, penises grown into erections, buttocks and thighs grow if you eat lots of food, a lot of things grow in this world
>You wonder if things do the opposite and get smaller
>Well penises do, if it's cold enough, but you've never seen a mare shrink back into a filly when it's super cold
>Some mares seem worried and want their hips and butts and thighs do the opposite of growing, like a few of the more popular mares seem to complain about, but you don't really care
>In fact, the softer they are, the better they are against the cold and the more comfortable it is to sit on things
>And some mares seem to say that having a big butt makes stallions happy
>But why are they happy about it? Well looking at the few couples you have seen, they seem to like to touch the butt when they think they are alone
>But nopony suspects the lichen peeking from the snow, hehehehe...



>Be Frosty Flakes
>Doing something you do not want other snowponies see you doing
>Look to the left, look to the right, look forward, look back
>You are completely alone in all directions
>Start to do the thing
>Suddenly the little bit of lichen in the snow starts to move and a pony suddenly rises up like a dracula rising up from it's coffin
>"I SEEEEE YOOOUUUUUUUU"
>Get spooked



>"Let me grow on you"
"Why are you like this?"
>"I'm Lichen"



>Hi all, Lichen here, and you're doing pretty good, you found a nice log to lie on top of
>it's a nice day as well, not too cold, no wind, the sun is shining
>You cozy up against the log you're lying on top of, but there's a bit of a lump on it where a branch used to exist at some point in time, and it's poking your tummy
>So you move up a bit, and notice that this feels kinda nice, rubbing yourself against this little bump on the wood, a little massage
>you keep grinding against it, and notice that the lower you go with it, the better it feels
>And then you slide off of it, and it pokes you in your crotch and you feel a jolt
>A very...very good jolt
>You try to massage your crotch with it and let out a sudden yelp of sorts, it feels reeeeeally good~
>You start to grind it, massaging your crotch against the wood, it's almost like your hips are moving on their own as you start to pant, your body feeling flushed with warmth and your heart beat racing
>What started out as a little sting of pleasure in your crotch has become this throbbing sense of pleasure spreading throughout your body with each hump
>Your head start to feel fuzzy and you are unsure if you're making any noises or not, it's all hazy and fuzzy, but feels so good
>Suddenly you feel like you are about to piss yourself or something, a strange tensing happens all over your body and your head and heart feel like they are about to burst, you're trembling and finding it hard to breathe as something explodes within you, making you feel things you've never felt before
>You collapse against the log, holding on as your body twitches and muscles you did not even know you had tense and relax rhythmically within you, your head flooding with this dulling sense of pleasure and joy
>...whoa, that's so...whoa...
>You rest, catching your breath and before you know it you snooze off
>Then later on when you woke up from your little nap, you found that your whole crotch and abdomen area was frozen to the log and you had to call for help and get freed by other ponies
>it was embarrassing




"Lichen, we're revoking your lichen munching privileges"
>"But I am not a lesbian..."
"That's not what it means!"

>"Oh. Um... should I tell those other mares that?"
"What other- Lichen, I swear to the stars, if you've been eating things you shouldn't again—"
>"Hey, it's not like that! You know how cold it gets, right? I was just being a good friend, helping to keep my friends warm. That's all! It was platonic!"
"When you want to keep your friends warm, you huddle with them!"
>"We did that too! But they always wanted to huddle with us lying head-to-hooves for some reason."



>You are Lichen and you've...you've done something bad
>really bad
>See the other ponies went out to catch fish and stuff, and you were allowed to stay behind and keep the fire going
>But as it was so comfy near the warm fire, you lied down and, you kinda took a nap
>and now the fire is out
>And you have no idea how soon the other ponies will return
>You quickly pile some wood onto the coal and ash left behind and blow into it, but nope, not even a dull ember or glow, it's dead
>Panicking, you look around for the flint to strike up a spark, find it and quickly get to work while holding it in your mouth
>But the darn thing won't strike a spark no matter how hard you try!
>In frustration you toss it to the side of the hut after many attempts at getting it to work, and it hits something and now strikes a spark, setting the wall on fire
>Quickly you get to putting it out with the held of whatever piece of fabric you managed to grab, hoping it's nothing too important
> thankfully you manage to put it out, even if the cloth slipped out of your hooves and you had to make due with your tail to pat out the fire
>Only to notice that now the tip of your tail is burning
>you jump in surprise and accidentally land into the pile of wood in the middle of the designated fire area, knocking up a big ash cloud as you quickly get up and run around in a circle while screaming
>but the running luckily puts out the fire on your tail, somehow, but you trip over one of the wooden logs and barrel right against some furniture, breaking it
>Then you notice that the pile of wood you were trying to light up and knocked all over the place has caught fire and quickly toss it all together so it burs in the designated fire spot rather than all over the floor
>You quickly scan around if anything else is on fire, coughing a little due to the ash, and thankfully nothing else is burning
>With a sigh of relief you sit back down, only for your butt to knock over a few things and furniture that eventually leads to the big pot of water falling over and putting out the now ongoing fire, filling the whole hut with steam and smoke
>You start coughing and quickly exit the hut, bursting out the door, flying flat onto your face as you slide along the snow for a little bit
>And as you get up you find the rest of the ponies who just returned staring at the scene in silent disbelief, fishes falling onto the snow as they stare with their mouths wide open
>You do a scrunchy face



>SNIFFFFFFFF
>"What are you doing?"
"This is how dogs greet one another and get to know each other"
>"Oh, you must be one of those horndogs I have heard about"
"That's me, want to see my bone?"
>"I found a frozen elk once"
"That's...cool?"
>"It had been dead for ages and being picked at by carnivores so there were bones exposed here and there while it stood still"
"Creepy"
>"It was kind of pretty with the red and the white and cleanly picked rib cage and half of a skull being exposed, I got it on a sled and dragged it back to the village so we could keep it around like a statue, but the other ponies told me to throw it away"
"That probably was for the better"
>"But I hid it in a nearby cave"
"Ok"
>"And then build a little shrine to it because it did not look as artistic by itself in that little cave"
"Where are you going with this?"
>"We could add your bone to the ongoing art project"
"Lichen I was talking about my penis"
>"Oh, I don't want that"
"Awww..."
>"Let alone the process of cutting it off and freezing it, I don't think it would properly go well together with the corpse or the shrine, not to mention I think you need it, for existing and stuff"
"What?"
"Lichen what?"
"Are you for real?"
>She does a blep face and wiggles around in the snow



>"It sure is cold in here isn't it random snow pony citizen"
"Yes it is weird green hooman thing that wears the boots"
>"Such a nice clear winter day though, lovely sunshine, crisp air"
"Do you know Lichen?"
>"Who's lichen?"
"YOU'LL BE LICHEN DEEZ NUTS LMAOO"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"



A poem by Lichen - https://ponepaste.org/6284




>There is a lot of snowmares gathered around
>Some are older, some are younger, but all generally of a marrying age
>though what that age is depends on the parents views on how old is old enough, hence the age differences
>but they have all been gathered for a single reason
>this event is a little snow pony speed dating thing
>Basically the mares have all done something to show off how they are better than all the other mares as a future wife
>And the stallions are free to approach the mares they deem worthy
>be it by skill or looks really
>Some have on display the big fishes they caught, some have dolled up themselves, using rural cosmetics made by themselves, like lip gloss made from powdering shiny seashells to a fine powder and mixing in with some fat or something, to make it stay on the lips
>Some are proudly displaying the warm, big blankets spun and woven from their shearings, promising a lot of warm nights in the future
>And some are displaying how much berries they have collected and dried over the short summer
>And then there is one that has not prepared anything else but her age for show
>She is a filly, and you think that her parents aren't snowponies but glowponies
>And of course there is you, the other pony who has not prepared in any kind of a way
>Because quite honestly you forgot all about it, even with your mother pestering you about it for weeks
>Yeah it's ya gal, Lichen
>Currently being stared at angrily by your mother behind you as you stand next to an empty little table where you were supposed to display something
>You already went outside and picked up some lichen growing right next to the big hut you all ponies are in, but your mother just took it off the table with a huff
>Many stallions have already passed by you without paying any attention, which you are fine with, but your mom wants grandchildren for some reason so it has not helped at all with how annoyed she is
>and the other mares have been giggling at you which is kind of annoying
>So...you need to show off something, somehow...
>You look around and spot a neat, smooth wooden decoration that looks kinda...well, like a horse cock
>not explicitly so, but the shape is very questionable and phallic in general
>It's a failed creation, in a trash container with a few other ones like it, all finished but not deemed good enough to be anything else than firewood
>The pony who made them has been handing out many like it to all the ponies who just want any, after failing at becoming a sculptor and deciding to just stick to cave painting for now
>You go up to it and bring it back to your table and set it down
>the ponies are now curious and so is your mother
>Then you get some fish oil, healthy
>You pour a little on the wooden thing
>and then a bit more so it's soaked in oil
>don't worry, it's got a varnished surface so it won't get absorbed into the wood
>You place your mouth on it, and slowly slide it into your mouth
>The oil really helps in the whole sliding process
>And then you go deeper, sliding it into your throat
>And deeper, and deeper, resisting the need to gag until your nose makes contact with the surface of the table, the object now deep in your throat and mouth
>You lift your head up, intending to pull it out of your mouth with a "Ta-da~"
>But instead you spit it out as your mother slaps you on the back of your head
>It hits one of the onlooking stallions in the face and gives him a black eye
>You just rub the back of your head, wondering why your mom got so upset
>Is it not impressive that you can put something so far down your throat?
>It's not like you could show off how well you can nap on a small table like that, that looks more like a stool rather than a table
>For some reason your mother decides to just let you go out and do your own thing rather than try to do anything else
>Later on you heard that surprisingly many stallions might have been interested in you for some reason
>Guess they like magic tricks




>Two snow mares are talking with one another, looking at a third one
"She's walking a bit funny...I wonder if she's hurt her hoof"
"I hope not, that would be awful"
>Suddenly, a third mare peeks out from under the snow, her head popping up above the surface
>"I know why she's walking funny"
>This spooks the two other mares, until they realize who it is
"Lichen you startled us!"
"Yeah, don't do the spook..."
>"I saw her, and a stallion"
>The two mares look at each pother, and then place their hooves in front of their mouths
"Oh~"
"Ah."
>Lichen shakes her head
>"No, it's not like that, well they did have sex but..."
>The two mares inch closer in anticipation for Lichen to continue
>"He did it up her butt!"
>Both mares gasps
"B-but that's for pooping!"
"Did she not have any lubrication?"
>Mare number 1 pauses and looks at mare number two, who blushes under the judgemental stare
"I mean, that's not where you put the penis, that is the wrong hole..."
>"I thought so too, so I did an experiment"
>Both mares gulp
"What did you do?"
"What kind of an experiment?"
>"My butt hurts..."
>Both mares look surprised and Lichen nods
>"but I kind of understand it!"
>She sinks back into the snow, with mare number 1 making a worried face and mare number 2 cringing a little




>Lichen again, and you are struggling with something, even if on the outside you're lying comfily on top of a log
>It's an internal problem, and no you did not put something in your butt and it got stuck in there
>One time of that was enough, your mother was very upset and even your father seemed not that thrilled as the shamare had to help you with this problem
>Embarrassing times
>No, you are looking at a group of ponies, having fun together
>And you are once again reminded how you do not really have any friends
>It's not like you're hated or anything, in fact you can talk with many of the ponies, know some by name even but...
>You aren't friends with any of them
>It's a problem you have always had, you don't seem to be able to make friends
>it feels like you can never climb past being an acquaintance, a mare they know who lives in the same village, but not a friend
>You have tried...a little...but after you're done showing them the cool lichen you found or doing something you set out to do so you could interact with the ponies, you really don't have anything else to go with and both you and the pony in question go back to doing different things, your own things
>You don't really understand friendship at all
>Some ponies say that all the ponies in the village are their friends, yet they do not hang out or have fun with all of the ponies of the village, just a set few they get along with super well
>Nopony is hostile at one another but...there are obvious groups and pairs, ponies with more value than the others, ponies they'd hang around with over the others
>And you just are
>Just like lichen just is
>It can be used for things, sometimes, but at the end of the day it just exists by itself
>So you too exist among the lichen, not really doing much
>...those ponies seem to have fun with their snowball fight, but it seems to have died down now
>Maybe if you grab a lot of lichen and form a hat with it, you can go up to them and show them how you're Lichen, wearing lichen
>Maybe offer a taste of your hat to them if they want a nibble
>You'll share a few laughs and then they'll get back to doing friend things and you'll get back to lying on top of this log
>But it's fine, it'll be dinner time soon enough and it's comfy
>And they'll be comfy in their little group
>You and the ponies both know that if you were to join them, you would not be as comfy with them as you are on the log, bringing the mood down, or if they were to join you, they would not be as comfy with you, lying around, as they would be playing together
>You sigh
>Maybe your mother arranging a marriage for you is not such a bad idea, it'd give you more things to do, that you need to do
>but then you think about all the responsibility that would bring and make a grossed out face
>Well, time to fashion up that lichen hat
>Haven't spied on anything interesting to talk about so you don't have anything else to use to approach these ponies




"Lichen..."
"Liiichen?"
"Liiiicheeenn..."
"Lichen. LICHEN!"
>"Huh? Oh, what is it?"
"Was the fish that good? You've been licking that leftover fish skin from your slice of campfire salmon for a while now"
>"No, that's not it, I mean it was ok and stuff but I was just thinking"
"Thinking what?"
>"Well you know those stories of half-fish ponies right?"
"Yeah"
>"If there was a half fish pony, half of them would be like this fish right? So I was thinking that if you were to lick a pony like that, this is what it would feel like"
"...but why do you even want to lick a pony like that?"
>"I dunno, but if I did, this is what it would feel like"
"Wait, we eat fish right?"
>"Yeah"
"So if there was a pony who i half fish, would we eat that pony?"
>"I don't think so, at least we'd only eat the fish part"
"That sounds kind of gross"
>"Well so does putting something into your mouth that stallions pee with, yet last evening you-MPPFH!"
>Lichen was silenced by the fellow snowpony mare before she could spill any juicy secrets of what happened between her and a visiting stallion trader from another village




>Be Lichen
>And lately you've noticed something weird
>Ponies are generally treating you like they think you're younger than what you really are
>Well sure you're not the oldest and most mature mare around but...
>Have you been acting so much like a lil' shit that ponies forgot you are a grown ass mare?
>But...the more younger they think you are, the less responsibilities of a grown ass mare they push onto you
>And they let you get away with more things than an adult mare would
>You smirk
>unlimited power!



>You are Lichen
>You have no idea why you must tell that to yourself inside your head, but you do
>Maybe if you stop doing it, you stop being Lichen and be somepony else?
>You stare at the snow as you ponder this fact for a while
>and end up focusing on the snow so hard that by accident a bit of drool came out, waking you back into the present
>You hope nopony saw, they'd think you are a simple horse
>Back to the task at hoof, you are about to eat a snack
>Dried fish, not just any dried fish but this very, very dry dried fish you get in areas where you dry fish at very cold temperatures
>And to go with it, butter
>Freshly pounded, or whatever it was called when they molest milk with a stick like a stallion in heat and pound it silly
>From where the milk came from...
>You glance at your own teats
>Well not from there, but you can't help but to wonder if the milk you snowponies use comes from other ponies since you can't really think of anywhere else milk would be gotten in these desolate lands
>Which makes eating dairy products a bit...weird
>Is it pony milk or other creature milk? You do not know, and you are a bit too frightened to find out for sure
>You wonder if you'll ever produce milk
>Most mares need to have a filly to do that, but some say they can do it without having ever pooted out a little vaginamuffin into this cold and cheery world
>And you have heard tales of mares with big, big teats
>You kinda hope you don't get anything like that at any point in your life, they sound like a chore to walk around with
>You apply the butter onto the dried fish and have some
>To be fair, you haven't really given so much thought to teats that you haven't gone around looking at what kinds of sizes there are in the village
>But you are sure that if you ask any random stallion they'll know all about it, for some reason
>You finish eating the piece of dried fish with mystery butter and pat your tummy with delight
"Harðfiskur með smjöri"
>You were not a big fan of it at first taste, but it grew on you real quick
>Talking of growing, you might need to stop eating all this butter
>You look a bit more poofy than normal, and it*s not due to your coat
>Fat is being stored, want it or not
>Such is the life of snowmare, you need fat for survival, yet you don't want too much fat so you won't look like a big fat seal
>But for what reason do mares care so much about fat? Stallions seem to like it and want more of it onto mares, yet mares are certain that it isn't so
>Oh hey you know that mare who's approaching
>"Hey Lichen, have you seen the medicine mare?"
"Where does milk come from?"
>"Ask your mother"
"No that's not-"
>The mare spots the medicine lady and rushes to her, complaining about a tummy ache
>WHAT MILK IS IT? PLEASE! WHO'S TEAT AM I INDIRECTLY SUCKING? IS IT ANOTHER PONY OR ANOTHER CREATURE?
>You stare at the rest of the dried fishes and grab another and butter it up before resuming eating
>Do you even care at the end of the day? Food is food



>be some guy
>be eating buttered feesh with Lichen
>it's pretty good
"Thish ish preddy gud."
>Lichen nods in agreement
>you swallow your mouthful and bring the fish back up to your face to go in for another bite
>before you can stuff your face though, you see the thick layer of butter on top
>of course, you'd seen it before-- you put it there-- but you never really thought about it until now
>you look over at the little pony next to you
"Hey Lichen. Where do you guys get butter from up here?"
>wonder if they keep cattle or something
>seems like that would be hard up here though, and you haven't seen any
>it must be a pretty rare luxury
>she swallows her own fish before answering you
>"Oh well, I don't know how the village gets butter actually."
>you put your fish in your mouth and start chewing contentedly
>"I never could get anyone to tell me. It's good though, right?"
>you nod
>mmm, fish...
>"So I just started making my own."
>mmm?
>you immediately freeze in place and glance over at the pony seated next to you in the snow
>"That way I have a year-round supply. I don't have to share either, cause no one ever wants any."
>you move you eyes down to look at her rear end, thinking about what she just said
>slowly moving your gaze back up to her face, you begin chewing again
>"Well, some of the stallions ask for it once in a while. But they always want it to be a secret."
>Lichen shrugs and takes another bite of fish
>"Shtallions are weird."




"Hey Lichen"
>"Yes Lichen here"
"Hello"
>"Hi"
"Do you have an origin story"
>"Is that when you coom really hard?"
"You know what I mean"
>"Yes I do. Well yes there is actually one"
"Only one?"
>"Experts are debating it currently"
"Oh ok"
>"It all started on...It was about...uhhh, an amount of time ago, yes"
"The specifics are a bit hazy"
>"I was just a little filly"
"Uooh?"
>"What?"
"Never mind, carry on"
>"Carry what? You? You look like you weight a lot and I don't want to-"
"The story, please continue"
>"I was a filly, very much a filly, doing very filly things like a filly does"
"playing in the snow"
>"Yeah let's call it that, anyways I happened upon these strange plant objects"
"Oh, and were they Lichen?"
>"No, berries, I never saw any in their natural form rather than dried, jammed or preserved"
"So then why is your name Lichen?"
>"We'll get there when we get there"
>"So anyways, I ate the berries but they gave me an upset stomach"
"Had trouble digesting fresh berries?"
>"Nah they were poisonous ones"
"Oh"
>"So after I had relieved myself of absolutely everything that was held within my body I shakily crawled onto a nice enough looking spot and just lied there shaking and groaning, and then noticed I was lying on top of this weird plant stuff and studying and looking at all these funny plants made me forget about the absolute anal devastation burning my ponut raw at the moment"
"That is horrible"
>"It was, but after a while I started to get hungry again as I was very empty, and just decided to eat some lichen and it was nice, and that's about it really"
"Want to go scream at the boot?"
>"Yeah sure"




>Hello audience and welcome to solving mysteries with Lichen
>you give a little bow to your imaginary audience
>Today you are after solving one of the many mysteries of the world
>Do stallions masturbate with dead fish?
>You read in a book about dolphins, really big fished, who bite the head off of fishes and then use the bodies to pleasure themselves
>And you started to think, what would stop a stallion from doing this?
>So you are spying on the stallions as they catch fish, determined to see if they have sex with the fishes
>Because if they do, then you and many other ponies eat food that has been sexually violated
>You are unsure how to feel about that
>So you keep spying, hidden behind 2 leafless branches you are holding up with your hooves
>You are sure that the combination of the sticks and your coat color is enough to create the illusion of a brush, so the fact that the stallions keep looking at you a lot only means that they are curious about a bush, rather than being aware it's you
>A few even tried to call out to you using your name, but you won't be fooled by that and drop your masterful disguise
>They are bluffing, because your camouflage is so perfect
>Now stallions, bite the head off of the fish and hump the body
>Come on, you want to do it, bet you do it all the time, don't feel shy now, it's just a bush, hehehe...
>Expose yourselves to the master detective
>Look at that big fat fish you just caught, imagine how soft it must feel like, you know you want to-no don't just throw it into the pile of fish, use it! Coward!
>as time passes the stallions do not do anything funny with the fish, and you grow frustrated, enough that you throw up your hooves, breaking the disguise, and shout out
"Just have sex with the fish already!"
>Now the stallions are all staring at you funny
>You calmly retrieve the two sticks that you were holding up and then go back to pretending to be a bush
>They'll forget soon enough, even if they are all looking at you currently, and when they do, then you'll expose this secret




>"Ass, teeties, ass and teeties!"
>"Niveous, Evergreen, where did you learn such a song?"
>"Lichen made it!" "Lichen is cool!"
>"I see. I'll have to have words with Lichen..."
>...
>Niveous and Evergreen resume singing "Ass, teeties, ass and teeties!"

>"Oh, did you come here for my ass and teeties?"
"Lichen shut"

"Hey snowsisters"
>"Hi Lichen"
"Check out this thing I heard is very popular in exotic warm areas"
>Lichen goes over to the river, bends her head down and starts to drink
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP
>The mares watch
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP
>The mares keep watching
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP
>The mares are confused, Lichen lifts up her head and burps and then goes back for more
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP
>"Uhhmm..."
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP
>"so you're drinking water?"
>SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP SCHLORP-
>Lichen gets up quickly almost as if she needs to vomit
>She does vomit right into the river
>The mares are grossed out
>Lichen isn't looking too happy either as she wipes her mouth
"...I'm going to go lie down now"
>"...yeah"


>"Oh hi Lichen, you seem deep in thought, do I even want to know what you are thinking?"
"I was called out for half-assing something"
>"Yeah that's what you do"
"But I don't think I am half-assed"
>"Oh?"
"Yeah, look at my butt, it's not a half ass, it's a full ass"
>"Yeah you are looking very fluffy today as well, not sure if it's your coat or if you're getting fat"
"Besides if you do something poorly should it not be full-assing it? Since if somepony does something badly they're being an ass"
>"I really do not know"
"And why is being an ass a bad thing, because donkeys exist, and they aren't that bad...right?"
>"They kind of are"
"I mean that one donkey mare that visited us along some ponies was very talented with her weird music device"
>"Lichen she was just a gray pony, not a donkey"
"And if somepony half-asses something, would it not be more impressive if they full-ass it, but if they full-ass it they can't be called half-assing it since they did something fully and-"
>"Are you doing this just because you want to say ass a lot"
"Hehe, my plushy cheeks are nice"
>"Do not feel good about it, go work out you'll end up fat"
"Extra insulation"
>"Walrus mare"
"Donkey"
>"How dare!"
"You're just envious because you have no ass to speak of!"
>"You have too much ass!"
"You are an ass!"
>"You're the bigger ass!"
"Yes I am!"


>"Anonymous"
"Yes, conveniently unnamed snowpony that is not Lichen for reasons further exposed in the future, left for the reader to choose whom they decide to imagine as the snowpony currently speaking?"
>"You were looking after Lichen yesterday right?"
"Yeah, or some snowpony of the same color I don't really pay enough attention to these things"
>"What did you feed her?"
"Memes, why?"
>Just as Anon finishes his sentenence a familiar pony suddenly bursts out of the snow
>it's Lichen in case you did not already guess
>"I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING!"
"fuck"
>"PROVOOOOOOKING BLACK CLOUDS IN ISOLATION!"


>You are a lonesome snowpony, guarding a bell
>The kirins are once again visiting
>they bring their beer, that some stallions are very, very big fans of
>oddly so
>Now they are napping under the giant bronze bell, because reasons
>A few ponies are posted as guards
>All the big hammers are locked up
>Things should be-
>"RULES OF NATURE!"
>You turn your head just in time to see Lichen hitting the bell with a huge wooden club
>KONG goes the bell very loudly
>"AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP!"
>The kirins are spooked and running in random directions while flaming
>"WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE!"
"Lichen why are you like this?"
>"ALIIIIIIIVE!"


>"That kirin beer you're sipping, IT'S ACTUALLY PEE!"
"Well that lichen tea you're sipping, IT'S ALSO PEE!"
>The Kirin and the snowpony known as Lichen stare at each other
>"This is kind of gay"
"Yeah kinda"


>Lichen sneaks up on the Kirin sleeping under the bell.
>She smiles at the thought of the Kirin getting spooked and turning into Niriks then running off in diffrent directions producing a beautiful sight especially at night.
>With all her might she bonks the bell with her hammer producing a loud BONG!
>She spits out the hammer and laughs,
>Her laughter gives way to confusion when the Kirin don't wake up.
>She investigates and notices they are fake Kirin dolls made up of excess snow pony fur, pinecones, various sticks, button eyes and hay stuffed burlap sacks that have been painted.
>There is a sign in the middle with "The Kirin have set a trap" written on it.
>Lichen's confusion gives way to concern when she starts to glow and can't move.
>The Kirin pop out of the surrounding snowbanks and say "The Kirin have deceived you" floating hammers beside them.
>As one they all strike the bell Lichen is now under making her shake and vibrate with the bell.
>The Kirin and various snowponies laugh as Lichen vibrates out from under the bell, her fur all puffed out and all her limbs stiff.


>Anonymous walking
>Lichen is there too
>Anon pondering if perhaps feeding so much memes to Lichen was a mistake
>By the way Lichen has been singing something to herself all this time, what's up with that? Might as well tune in to the noises outside your head rather than the voices inside your head
>They tell you things, disturbing things
>"All of these thoughts runnin' through my head"
>You doubt that there is a single thought running through her head
>"Arm on fire, veins burnin' red"
>You don't have arms you are a pony
>Suddenly she jumps in front of you and has her butt pointing at you, almost as if she's presenting it
>"Frustration is gettin' bigger"
>W-what frustration?
>She gives her butt a little shake with the next line of lyrics
>"Bang, bang, bang, pull my Devil Trigger"
>W-what?
>She has stopped singing, you are staring at her butt and she is staring at you
>"Pull my devil trigger!"
"W-wha-"
>"Come on pull my devil trigger come on pull it come on bang bang bang-"
>As she keeps saying this she keeps hopping backwards towards you with her ass pointing at you
>All the other ponies are looking at you and judging silently and you feel extremely self conscious all of the sudden
>You panic and just jam a finger up her ponut
>Lichen jumps forward with a scream, followed by running away, crying
>The onlooking snowponies judge you harder now
"Gotta let it out, gotta let it out"
>You do a quick wanking motion in the air with your hand
"Gotta let it out, gotta let it out"
>You do another wanking motion in the air with your hand
>The ponies are now judging very, very hard
"Move fast baby, don't be slow"
>you quickly start running away
"Step aside, reload, time to go"
>you seem to be crying yourself as well as you run away from the staring snowponies


>You are Lichen
>And you are doing a thing
>What is the thing? You are not sure
>All you know is that you've got this filly and you're carrying her around
>It all started when you saw a random animal carry it's young one somewhere by the back of the neck
>You have seen many animals do this
>you think you might have seen a pony do this sometime, but you are not sure
>Then you started to wonder if it can be done
>Then you saw a filly walking somewhere by herself
>Then you went over to said filly, and tried it out
>She did not seem to mind, she seemed very confused and asked you what you were doing
>You really could not answer because your mouth was full, of filly
>That sounds a bit weird out of context
>Well the idea was to try to carry a little pony like this, so you started walking
>The confused filly did not seem to mind and now she's just hanging around, waving at her friends while you walk aimlessly while carrying her
>It's kind of tiring on the jaws, yet it somehow just works
>The filly once again asks where you two are going, you just shrug
>She asks if she can say where to go since you clearly haven't got a clue
>You muffle out a "yeah"
>Now the filly is telling you where to carry her
>You are not sure for how long you are gonna keep doing this
>Would you have to do this with something that came out of you if you someday fulfilled your biological function as a female of your own species?
>As you're standing around while the filly is thinking which way to go, there is a tap on your shoulder
>You turn around
>It's one of the mares...you can't remember the name, but you are pretty sure it might be this filly's mother
>"Where are you going with my daughter Lichen?"
>The hanging filly greets her mom with a "Hi mom" confirming that it is indeed, her mom
"Mfhhh hhhf fffhs mmmph nnhf"
>You answer back to the mare



>It's the annual arts and crafts competition
>The snowpony judges are going over the various things that have been made
>a loomed carpet with a snowpony lore motif from the old mare who usually looms all the carpets for everypony, 9/10 stellar job as always
>A comb made from a fishes skeleton...or it is just a fishes skeleton, but it works fine and the maker is a young filly, 8/10 lovely rustic approach
>Ah, this stallion has made an ice sculpture, but forgot about ice melting indoors and now his grand Windigo is more like a Snotigo. 5/10 better luck next time
>next, a mare who has made an exceptional screaming boot, all the judges took turns screaming at it and found it to be very efficient, 7/10 nice daily use object but not very artistic
>Ah, one of the older stallions who does dentistry work for the walruses has produced yet another fine scrimshaw piece depicting snowpony fillies having a snowball fight, 9/10
>This is cool, a mare who usually deals with reindeers has collected quite a bit of shred antlers and made a sort of antler christmas tree with them, very amazing indeed, yet it also feels a bit of a waste of material, 7/10
>Lichen has carved yet another giant wooden phallus, it is worrying how much more better she becomes at it every year
>5/10 since half of the judges want her disqualified and half of the judges feel like it's an actual work of art
>One has to admit painting 1/3rds of it at the top and the tip bright red with berries does add a bit of grotesque character
>A young colt has made a fish, stuffed with fish
>disqualified, this is just a freshly fished fish, it's still alive and flopping around on the table and hit one of the judges in the face
>Another mare has made a wooden cock? Hopefully Lichen has not started a fad
>Great, now Lichen and the other mare are staring daggers at each others cocks and have started to argue which ones cock is better than the other
>Next up...why is the mare sitting on the little pedestal meant for the artwork?
>Oh, she says she's the work of art
>6/10, moving on to the next mare
>Oh, what's this? A big pinecone
>such robust, such shape, a perfect pinecone
>all the judges agree, a winner has been found
>No artwork more beutiful than the one created by nature itself
>the mare who presented herself looks very grumpy after hearing this, and the colt who brought the live fish has smeared red berries all over his mouth and complains about living in a society




>You are Anonymous
>An expedition person adventure guy nature molester man all around jackman
>and you have come across many weird things when dealing with the snowponies
>They still won't stop screaming at your boot randomly
>but this...
>the mare in question gives her butt a little wiggle
>"Anon what's the matter, do you want my butt?"
>More jiggling, not to mention she is lying on the snow in a way that really presents her butt and draws general focus to it
>"Too bad it's not detachable"
>She arches her back a bit as she pushes the butt out, giggling mischievously
>"Such a shame it can't be removed isn't it?"
"Shame?"
>"This nuggie but it can't be taken home"
>wiggle wiggle, and she looks extremely smug like she won an argument or something
>"Sure is hard having a but"
"Lichen what the fuck are you talking about?"
>"Such a booty butty booty woogy wiggle jiggle"
>she just stares at her own ass and jiggles it



>tfw a snowmare will never snatch your boot
>ywn chase her across the crisp fresh morning snow, one foot getting wet and cold
>ywn finally catch her, laughing and rolling together
>her dropping the boot, both realising you are hugging, the sunrise highlighting the start of her blush
>pulling her in for a k- did that snowpile just move?
>"HEY ANON, WHATCH- ooooh!"
>"LICHEN!" you shout, the moment lost
>smug Lichen cantering back to the village
>"Hey everypony, guess what I saw!"
>You and snowmare roll eyes and, still only one boot on, head back to the village for the inevitable teasing


>Lichen's rear is a solid sheet of ice
Makes it all the more awkward when snowfoals are playing in the snow and *thunk* into it
>"Ow, Lichen!"
>"What? You hit me again Niv!"
>"Your bum is frozen solid ice!"
>"You mean ass Niv!"
>"I can't say that...I'll get into more trouble..."
>"Icy ass, icy ass, I gotta a icy ass!"
>"LICHEN!"
>"NIIIIV!"


>be Lichen
>And you're currently babysitting bunch of young snowponies
>And by babysitting you mean that you're just lying on the floor, a lot of little ponies all huddled up against you and sniffing your mane and tail
>One of the fillies sniffed your mane and said it smells like the forest, and then all the other ponies took a sniff and agreed
>Being the very dead of the winter, they must miss playing our in the forest during the very brief warmer months
>or well, warm as in it's not all snow and freeze all the time
>And with your mane and tail being a bit poofy as it is, it apparently makes for a very comfortable pillow
>Kind of like your whole body as well, we snowponies are soft, so we stay warm
>but who knew that babysitting could be this easy, especially as it was assigned to you as a semi punishment for slacking off
>and being surrounded by lots of warm little ponies is very comfortable, so you are feeling sleepy too
>It's a chain reaction of comfy and nap
>So with that, you decide to return fully to babysitting, and go right to sleep
>Only to wake up to lots of young ponies all energized and having painted all over you as you slept with whatever objects they could find that one can draw with, and just spazzing about
>So you went right back to sleep again since nopony wants to go out in the blizzard currently raging, so they're all going to stay indoors, and you can just take it easy
>Much later on you were studying yourself and the doodles in the mirror and thought to yourself, this could be a fashion someday
>but then your mom told you to go wash it off already and it was discovered that all of it did not come off with water and soap so you were stuck looking like that until the rest of the scribbles and doodles slowly eroded away


>"Good evening, I am Lichen, and I have studied with the green creatures known as Anonymous and I have attained their gifts of comedy, observe"
>Lichen breathes in
>"NI-"
>Lichen leaping out of the snow saying "NI" at other snowpones
>just when they think she's eased off, the fillies, Evergreen, Podzol and Niveous all start copying her
>for a time, "NI, NI, NI!" is heard all too often around the village

>anon tries preparing fugu as a complete novice to such things
>cue shamare's whipping up poison antidotes and glaring at him with a "what the fuck" expression
>later
>"I thought it nice!" remarks a barely recovered Lichen


>Hiding in the snow
>One crafty horse is going to slay
>Hiding in the fields we go
>Tunneling all the way
>Spooking the bobcats too
>something something, jingle bells village elder smells and a fish laid an egg
>Jingles and jangles are not your thing because you don't wear spurs that jingle jangle jingle, you love the fashion but in the cold north such things don't jingle jangle, but get uncomfortably cold and get snow stuck in them
>Hence you can't carry a big iron on your hip, but you do not know what good a piece of metal attached to your side would do?
>You are Lichen so, just let it snow let it snow let it snow
>You are the mare who makes the weather outside to be frightful, you are the fire that's so delightful
>Hence you are hiding in the snow, about to pull off a practical joke on a mare who has caught your eye a few times
>Cirrus Wisp, the long, long, you do mean long, mane and tail mare
>There was more to her character of course, but like many things they go in from one ear and come out of the other
>Anyways, the joke, the stunt, the master plan of the day, is to hide in the snow, grab onto the tip of her tail and then wait for her to move and eventually she'll get spooked as she suddenly feels a tug on her tail
>And here you are, holding the tip of her tail in your mouth and staying still in the snow while she does stuff, waiting for her to move
>...but she does not move enough, her tail is so long that so far she has not moved far enough to feel a tug and be surprised
>It's kinda frustrating, you should have brought corn for popping, even if you don't know what corn is and why it pops and for what reason you desire it to do so
>please move, please
>She is very pretty, you take note
>But please, go somewhere, move
>You're just holding her tail tip in your mouth
>...it's kinda becoming tasty, or is that the sweet taste of anticipation?
>But just lying here is making you feel so sleepy, since the snow is comfortable
>And Cirrus Wisp has not moved far away from you, even now
>You are unsure what she is doing exactly, you do not want to give your own position away so you are more focused on hiding than observation
>But it will be so good, she'll be walking along minding her business, when out of the snow
>FLASH, BANG, ALAKAZAM
>Wonderful you will pop out
>eventually...
>any moment now...
>...kinda getting sleepy...
>...
>After some time you were woken up by a random pony poking you after having found you snoring in the snow
>fission mailed, we'll get them next time


"it's Lichen time"
>you say as you peek out of the snow, spooking a random snowbunny that was just minding it's business and trying not to fucking die
>You look to the left, you look to the right, and you're Lichen by the way but that you already know
>yes
>Well there are no ponies in sight, looks like the sounds you heard were just the hare rather than any ponies
>Why are you trying to spook ponies? You are bored
>And your butt hurts because of a certain pony
>She really made your holes sore
>And you don't mean that in a weird way, somepony just headbutted you very hard right in the crack
>Pow right on the kisser
>though that weird line you heard from somewhere, does it apply?
>If a pony were to wink while having her thingy pressed against a surface, maybe that would be a bit like a kiss?
>But then..how would-
>"Oh hi Lichen, what are you thinking about?"
"How to kiss with your ponut"
>"Ok goodbye"
>How do you do it?
>You know how to blow and throw up with it but not how to kiss
>Does this even exist? You need to sleep on it
>You retreat back into the snow


>Be Lichen
>Being all cute and stuff, extremely soft looking and cuddable, makes you want to touch
>And you feel like you should be doing something
>Something worth mentioning but
>You aren't
>You have not done anything that would give any kind of enjoyment of observation if your life was some kind of an odd story being written on something called an internet
>No really, nothing worth mentioning has been done or has happened around you
>You kinda feel like you need to do something now
>Something that is not normal and everyday
>but what?
>You look around
>Yeah you've got nothing
>You grab a bit of Lichen and sit your butt down on the snow and start chewing
>what a peaceful day

>Then you notice that you grabbed a bit of Lichen rather than lichen
>You are chewing on your own tail
>how embarrassing

>tastes kind of nice actually
>like, well, lichen
>wait, that gives you an idea!
>what do the other snowponies tails taste like?
>Pine's probably tastes like pinecones, right?
>its in her name after all...
>time to find her...


How often has Niveous dove into a snowbank only to headbutt a hidden Lichen?

Often enough, Lichen teases Niveous about it, making terrible butt puns and embarrassing her a little.
>"Butt out Niv, I'm trying to sleep here!"
>"But..."
>"That's what I said, butt out!"
>"But Lichen..."
>"Yeah, you headbutted me!"
>"LICHEN!"
>"NIV!"
Evergreen and Podzol find it amusing when Niveous gets some of her shid behavior back at her from Lichen. Lichen was probably the filly shid before Niveosu when she was just a bit younger.

>Niveous dives into a nice looking snowbank
>Face full of ass
>"Lichen."
"You can recognize me from my butt?"
>"Nopony else but you would be inside a bank of snow!"
"I knew it was you because nopony else would headbutt a pony in the butt!"
>And then the two ponies started to have a little wrestle in the snow over this whole thing

>Lichen
>Found a cool stick
>it is really nice stick
>look to left
>look to right
>look behind
>nopony around
>grab stick
>stand up onto hind hooves
>balancing difficult
>hold stick at the correct position
"Cock"
>wiggle it up and down a little
"heh"
>discard stick
>back 2 all 4s
>carry on


>Be Lichen and...you're no expert but
>That' a mushroom right?
>You stare at the thing poking out of the snow, standing tall and proud
>It really, really looks like a horse cock
>But that does not make any sense
>You knew some mares joked that mushrooms can be penis shaped, but this is just ridiculous
>It really looks like a cock
>...it can't be that a stallion has buried himself under the snow and-
>No, it's cold to the touch, in fact it feels absolutely frozen stiff
>not to mention looks very stiff as well
>Extremely erect if you would
>Could it be a new species of lichen?
>You give it a lick and your tongue almost freezes to it, no does not taste like a lichen
>More like a mushroom you guess? You have not rally eaten many mushrooms but if you'd have to imagine what it tasted like, you'd choose mushroom
>Next you try to have a bite, but it's too hard, pun intended
>Then you sit down onto the snow and stare at the thing, wondering what's next
>...you have heard of mares using phallic objects to simulate sexual intercourse, and if a pony were to do it, this would be kind of the perfect tool for it
>You look around and make sure you're alone, and then turn around and scoot your butt right up against the thing, the weird mushroom pressing up against your back as you measure it out
>This thing is supposed to go in? All the way? But it's so long, would that not cause internal injury?
>You rub your butt on it a little, sandwiching it between your buttocks but you don't really get it, not to mention it is so cold it's unpleasant
>Yet there is this slight hint of some kind of indecency you feel all over yourself as you do this
>If this was warm instead of cold though...
>You feel a bit silly now, you decide to stop getting so familiar with a mushroom
>You get back up and try to pull out the mushroom, but it won't come out
>Even if you pull really, really hard, feels almost like the whole ground is going to come out but the mushroom won't detach
>Weird, you imagined they'd be easy to pull out, maybe this one's super special
>Well, can't bring it back to the village, might as well let somepony know about it once you get back
>Then later on it turned out it was the frozen body of a stallion who got lost in the blizzard and froze to death
>oopsie poopsie, boy did you feel silly about everything you did at that point

>Lichen awkwardly makes a small gift for the stallions newly dug grave at the village afterwards
>She hopes whoever he was wasn't too offended...
>Unaware of why she's making the offering, the tribe shamare nods and smiles, Lichen is showing some maturity
-
>in the afterlife, this stallions spirit moved on a while ago
>he's still laughing about it
>turns out he was a bit of a male Lichen himself in life
>just finds it hilarious


>Hey it's ya girl Lichen
>heat can be annoying
>but when you already hide under the snow like me turns out it takes some of the edge off
>think I had some bad berries though, can't really get comfy
>
>Be Knotted Pine, a woodcarver apprentice
>You're out looking for some sturdy logs to bring back for some practice
>you've decided to dig up some grasses for a quick lunch
>huh, this patch of grass doesn't seem right
>perhaps it's a patch of lichen? Seems to be the right color
>keep digging
>wait a minute
>this isn't lichen, it's Lichen!
>you've dug up her tail, which lifts and shows you her winking pussy
>she's about your age
>and no longer young enough to be sequestered during heat
>Is this her big plan to get a stallion to rut her? Sounds like something she'd do
>You hesitantly lean in, upper lip raised, and-
>BRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPP
>
>
>"ANCESTORS DAMN IT, LICHEN!!!"


Knowing Lichen, she'll probably inadvertently discover for herself pole-dancing
>If I swing myself around this small tree, that's moving my entire body!
>Yeah! Woo, this is fun!
>Perhaps a little slower now, with the rear legs holding...
>Working up a sweat! This is great!
>Wh- what? Why are some stallions watching this?
>They sure are weird!



>Be Lichen
>Yup it's Lichen here again
>Today you're researching a funny topic, homosexuality
>Because you saw a couple of gay ponies, doing gay things
>Sure the village medicine stallion tried to play it off as a prostate exam, but you've never even heard of some made up thing like prostate that resides up the butt
>So now you're-
>"Lichen"
>No, your hiding place is perfect, the doctore must be testing you, he knows you are around, always watching and-
>"Lichen get out from under the bed I can see your tail"
>You quickly pull it in underneath the bed
>"Lichen."
>Fine, you admit the shaman guy has found you and crawl out from underneath the ornate carved wooden horse bed
"Was it gay magic that showed you where I was?"
>"Lichen I have a wife and children"
"The perfect disguise you la la prancing homo stallion"
>"Lichen, I wish I could cure whatever it is that troubles you but my medicine is not strong enough"
"Once again I am superior"
>"Need any laxatives because you've eaten too much lichen again and got constipation?"
"...Yes"
>"I figured as much"
"Tell nopony and I will keep your fabulous secret life a fabulous secret"
>"just...bring this faggot-"
>You snicker and he shoots you a dirty look
>"faggot of sticks to your mother when you go back home since I promised her these"
"You do know you can say happy instead of gay and nopony would think you have foals with other stallions through the butt"
>"Lichen that's not how homosexuality...forget it"
"A lot of us snowponies have brown coats and that is suspicious"
>He just looks at you weird, he too must now see the bigger picture
>You bid him farewell and go home to finally poop
>I guess this really is, a shitpost



>"I learned something new today"
>Cirrus looks to her side and spots a snowpony right next to her that she was not aware being there a few moments ago
>Yet she just started talking like the two of you were in the middle of a casual chat
>"There is this thing called virtual reality, and basically it means that you see and interact with things, that aren't really there"
>You make a confused face as the mare keeps talking
>"So basically you can't see it, but we're surrounded by bunnies and seals and other snowponies, they aren't really there but you can pretend they are and that you are talking with them"
>The mare looks to her side at nothing and giggles
>"That was a cool backflip Mr. Snowbunny"
>You look at where the mare is looking, there is nothing there
>"Wait really? The seal went clubbing? Oh I see it, that's the dance club!"
>The mare suddenly hurries towards a big pile of snow and dives in
>You can hear a happy squee from within the snow pile of which the back end of the mare is sticking out
>"I can't believe it, everypony's here!"
>Her tail starts to swish and swoosh almost like to a tune of music, that does not exist
>Not to mention the pile of snow is really not big enough to have anything else than this mare inside of it
>"Virtual Reality is awesome!"
>You make a worried face and carry on with what you set out to do originally

>You are Lichen
>You are playing virtual reality today
>Your imagination is pretty awesome, you even imagined Cirrus, she was the splitting image of her own self
>Maybe you're an genius? Like with the brain?



>You are Lichen, you're not sure why you have to tell yourself that
>And once again you have gained knowledge of something interesting
>Chew tobacco
>basically, plant leaf goes brr and is a block
>put in mouth, chew, spit
>Which got you thinking
>You make herbal tea out of lichen
>lichen + water = tea
>saliva=mouth water
>if you made a "chew tobacco" from dried lichen, you could chew it and instead of spitting out, you swallow
>You brew the lichen tea, in your own mouth, from your own saliva
>And hence you are holding a block of tightly packed, dried lichen
>It's not bone dry mind you, but kind of moist, but dried
>a bit like dried fruit
>you break off some of it and out it into your mouth, and you start to chew
>yes, yes you're really getting the lichen flavor out of it, yes
>you keep chewing and swallowing your own saliva, and after it's lost all of it's flavor, you just swallow the lichen mass, and then break off another piece of your chew lichen and get to chewin'
>Eyup
>this is no different than eating normal lichen, normally
>You chew as long as there is flavor and then swallow it and put more in your mouth
>This was a waste of time
>You could have eaten the lichen normally instead of going through all that work to turn it into "chew lichen"
>But you could have just chewed lichen, instead of making chew lichen
>You stand there, contemplating your life



"Conceptualize the aroma"
>Lichen turns to look at you while you keep staring at snowpony booty
>"Aroma?"
>Lichen sniffs herself
"Must inhale deeply, imagine the essence"
>Lichen looks at you all confused
>"Anon are you ok?"
"Would it not be funny if she winked a little ha ha asking for a friend"
>The snowpony who's butt you are looking at looks over her shoulder and at you
>Then at her butt
>Then at you again
>Then she gives you a wink, with her eye, and turns back to paying attention in front of her
>Your legs almost run to jello
"Oh god yes IMAGINE sorry my cat ran across my keyboard"
>Lichen just stands there confused
>"Jesse what the hell are you talking about"
>you look at Lichen now
"Waltuh, put the meme away Waltuh"
>"Finally got yoru attention, what are you talking about Anon? Aroma? Essence?"
>You point at the booty
"Look at Frosty's Flakes, don't you just want to sniff?"
>Lichen does that animal tilts head lightly to the side and ears do a few flicks because they saw something confusing-thing
>"Sniff? you want to sniff her"
"I want to inhale her whole ass"
>Frosty herself keeps trying to act like she can't hear you, but you know she can
>"So you want to sniff her butt?"
"Yes"
>Yes
>Rub your face against it too
>"But why?"
>You point at your crotch, Lichen looks at your crotch, then back up at you again
>"I do not get it"
"And you never will"
>Now she looks angi and puffs up her cheeks
>like face cheeks, not like she suddenly badonked her badonkadonk up
>Lichen goes over to Frosty Flakes, puts her face right up against Frosty's butt and then inhales loudly, making Frosty freeze up as she processes what just happened
>Lichen pulls away from the ass, makes an indignant face at you, turns around, flicks at you with her tail almost like she's flipping you off and then goes off on her way, leaving behind a wide eyed, red faced and absolutely shocked Frosty Flakes and one Anon seething with envy



"I'm going to be a shamare!"
>"Lichen you can't be a shamare"
"You're right, I'm too pretty to be a shamare!"
>"Young one..."



>Lichen walking in the snow
>What the pony doing?
>Comes across two items in the snow
>One is a pine cone
>One is a piece of lichen
>she looks at both of them
>The pine cone is amazing, it's the piniest cone she has ever seen
>And the size is not bad either
>The lichen on the other hand is just a regular everyday lichen
>nothing wrong with it but Lichen has lots at home, she sees lots in the woods, it's a very common item for her
>Lichen picks up the pine cone instead of the lichen
>then she suddenly gets worried and looks at her qt mark
>It remains unchanged
>She lets out a sigh of relief



>"Mom I am old enough to plow!"
"Lichen, use...use a better word"
>"But I love to plow!"
"I know, you tunnel through the snow all the time"
>"I am gonna go plow with those fillies"
"I give up"



>"Lichen...Liiichen..."
>You somewhat open one of your eyes to look at the noise that woke you up as you slept inside your little snow hideaway you've dug up to sleep in
>A few chilly looking foals are looking at you from within a freshly dug out tunnel that was not there before
>Must be some young ponies from the village playing around
>"Come play with us Lichen..."
"No I'm sleeping, go play with some other pony"
>You shoo the little ponies away and try to go back to sleep
>"It's so much fun in the snow Lichen...it does not feel cold at all..."
>You do not bother to open your eyes
"Well duh, it insulates the cold breeze, that's why igloos became a thing"
>"Ummh...c-come look what is in this tunnel Lichen...there's like...cool things in here and-"
"Nah I'd rather have a nap"
>"Pleeeaaseee..."
"No"
>You snuggle up tighter in a somewhat grumpy manner to signal that this can't be discussed any further, and sure enough the voices can't be heard anymore and you start to lull into slumber

If you find yourself having to take shelter in the snow to escape a blizzard or a freezing night, or you are a young pony just digging tunnels in the snow for fun and making secret snow bases, be wary of the appearance of strange tunnels you don't remember making and somewhat cold and lifeless looking young ponies you do not recognize trying to get you to come into these tunnels, some say it's the souls of the dead children who dug tunnels too deep into the snow that caved in, who were never found. Some nights if you hear unexplained sounds of distant playing and young ponies having fun that seem to come from within the snow, there are spirits up an about