"Whelp. You're dead. Congratulations."

I can't help but stare at the reaper as the skeletal form pulls a party blower from his robes and blows it. Fweeeeeeeeet.

"... How the heck do you do that without lips?"

"Millenia of practice kiddo. Right, so, you didn't kill yourself. Good job! The odds were against you but you made it to death of old age somehow." The reaper says, pulling out a large book and flicking through it with a hum. "Hell, you somehow avoided dying in combat too."

I sigh. "So no Valhalla?"

"Yeah, no luck there. But that being said, you've got a verity of afterlife options available for you, though your soul is still pretty young." He comments, rubbing his bony chin with one skeletal hand.

"Young?" You ask, feeling rather confused.

"Oh yeah, most of the afterlives are meant for Old Souls, ones who have been around the block and experienced life to it's fullest! You're on your second life, which is very little in the grand scheme of things." The reaper says, nodding. "So you'd be pretty restless in the old folk homes. Sooooooo most of your options involve rebirth... oooh."

He pauses, one of the pages glowing golden. "Well well, what do we have here?" He says, pulling the page out of the book. "Hehe, a Pony fan were we?"

"Oh yeah, ever since the beginning. Made sure that my kids got to enjoy it too. Lots of good lessons there." I say with a sigh, remembering the good ol' days before my vision started to go.

"Well, I have some good news! You qualify for jumping into a different universe! You understand multiverse theory, of course." The reaper says. "Oh yeah, of course. Wait, does that mean that they were right and our Earth is a universal sieve of some kind?"

"Ha, glad ya'll are starting to figure that out. Yep, all of the great stories are stories that really happened. Equestria is real, and the story as you know it of Twilight Sparkle and her friends was Equestria Universe Numero 1, the origin universe."

"Wild. Wait, hold up." You hold up both hands before pointing at the golden page. "Are you saying that's a literal golden ticket to Equestria?"

"He can be taught! I love working with writers, they usually catch on to things like this faster." The Reaper grins, gesturing to the page. "So, caveats. This one is a interesting one because it sounds like one of the Big Guys, in this case, Big Girls, are bored. All Expenses paid trip to Equestria, Young Adult starting age, enough local currency to live comfortably for a month... you get to pick your race... aaand you're a blank-flank."

I reach for the page, grin splitting my face before I freeze up at the last second. "... No, no, there's gotta be a catch. You're handing me unlimited cosmic power and I get to keep my memories? Something's up."

The Reaper simply smirks, gesturing to the page. "I mean, this is a literal once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You gonna take it or let it slip between your... hooves?"

That causes us both pause and stare at one another before we both break down in laughter. "Yeah, no, that doesn't quite roll off the tongue right. Heh, yeah, but still, take the deal kid, it's a goodin', I swear on the Styx."

"Alrighty, to Equestria we go!" I eagerly take a hold of the page and the Reaper gestures. "Hang on tight, it's gonna be a trip!"

-----

A trip to the friggin' character creation menu apparently! "Welcome to Equestria! You're the 10,000,000,000,000nt new soul!" The screen in front of me boldly announces as I can only stare at the screen bordered by the FiM Storybook blankly.

"You're shittin' me."

"Aha! No. You need to make your form before you go to Equestria, silly!" The frilly, very energetic voice of whomever is running this little screen comments. "And you might want to watch your language mister. Swearing is bad for you!"

"... Yeah, that's fair, old habits I'll try to break. Being a sailor teaches you a lot of bad language." I comment, rubbing the back of my neck as the voice giggles before the screen lights up, revealing a character creation menu.

"Whelp, here you are! One character maker! You're already locked in on the top tier prize selection, lucky you, you get to be an ALICORN! And a stallion at that, lucky you!" The voice cheers. "Did you know that the Equestrian Population is about 1 stallion to every 8 mares?"

"... Nope, and that fact kinda worries me a bit now that I'm hearing it said aloud." I comment, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well it is! Lucky you, stud! So! Seeing as your race is already selected, lets play around with your looks, huh?"

Eventually I settle on a classic, in my humble opinion. One of my favorite 'alicorn' designs. A silver steed, if you will, the shade of Grey between the 'black' of night and the 'white' of day that is nice and flashy, with a ebony mane that drips off of the head and neck, and a long tail of the same color. But the best feature? Prismatic wings, a glimmering rainbow every time he spreads his wings.

So damn pretty, but unique, as far as I'm aware. At least, I haven't seen a lot of ponies with prismatic... anything, now that I think about it. Hmm. Well, either way, pretty wings! I grin, locking in my final decision as I step back and nod firmly at my finished creation, admiring the sky blue eyes that stare back at me rather blankly, but still filled with life. Just missing one thing.

"You've finished creating your new you! Good job! He's very pretty! Now..."

You grin in eager anticipation, only to blink in shock as the alicorn collapses, and... deflates? You can only stare at the thing laying on the ground before you note the zipper. The voice picks up from it's dramatic pause. "Get in!"

"... I swear to Epona if this turns me into rubber or latex I will -personally- find my way back here and end you." I vow darkly as I cautiously inch towards the... suit. The voice laughs at me, which makes me want to nope the fuck out.

... But Poni.

I groan in exasperation and force myself over to the suit, looking it over with a wince before cautiously stepping into it. There I wait, standing frozen for a few moments as nothing happens. Continuing my cautious actions, I pull the suit up to my waist so that I can properly get my arms into it only to gasp as the weird feeling of my body... expanding? Shifting? Fills me.

The suit zipper has moved up on it's own, and my shock caused me to let go of the suit, which is really freaky considering it's half-hanging on to me at this point. I pat at my hips and legs with my hands, which I can feel outright. "Ok, that's freaky." I mutter, brushing through... well, I guess it's -my- silvery fur, marveling at the soft, silky-velvet coat. No leather, nor stiches from what I can see. No seams either.

With a shrug, I continue to pull the suit up, shuddering at the weird sensation as more of my body stretches out to meld into my new form, bones and organs rearranging as needed to match with my new body, before all that's left is to duck headfirst into the suit and to shove my arms in. With a deep breath, I practically dive into the last bit of the suit, and my world blanks out.

---------

"You have ascended. Hallelujah."

A soft chorus fills my ears as I awaken, slowly, my eyes blinking away the sunlight as the wind breezes through my feathers. I hum in confusion as the the chorus leaves, the voice from the screen cuts slightly through my daze. "Welcome to your new life, my friend. No leather, no latex, and no plushie either, not that She will care much... good luck, and enjoy your new life!"

"... Thanks?"

My own voice made my eyes snap open as I practically launch upwards at the sound that came from my mouth... muzzle! I can't help but marvel at myself for a moment, looking all over, twisting this way and that as I try to take in all the details of my new form.

Everything is exactly as I set it. Horn, long n' pointy, check. Wings? Glimmering in the light and fanning the air in my excitement. Check. Gorgeous ebony locks? Lookin' like a fuckin Mary Sue OC, and also doing a great job of shining in the light. Check! I can't help but laugh, running a hoof through my mane. If anything, I can't help but feel a bit of pride, considering this particular shade of black is the same shade that I had as a human, just... well, -better-, because keratin makes it not only strong but shiny, silky, and soft.

A moment later, it hits me, and I can't help but laugh wildly as I lay back down, marveling at the grass pressed into my body. I'm alive! And I'm a Pony! This is actually happening! I let out a cheer before pushing myself up to my hooves, stumbling a bit as I misjudge my standing a bit before correcting myself.

"Jeeze, I'm really tall." I muse, looking around as I start pacing out a circle slowly to try to get used to walking again. Soon enough I've got a walk, a trot, a canter, a gallop, and a few other paces figured out and I'm moving like I've been walkin' on hooves my entire life with ease. I can only hope that flying will come as naturally.

Eventually, I come to a halt of admiring myself and figuring out the basic locomotives of my new life, and sit in the middle of the open meadow, soaking in the sunlight and contemplating my next move, before a thought hits me.

"... oh -right-, I'm an Alicorn now." I muse, remembering the very first thing I heard. Hallelujah? Jeeze, I hope not, I'd rather not be treated as some God or Demi-God like being. That's just wayyyyy too much responsibility for a write-fag that spent most of his life as an active-duty military member and looking after cats. I glance at my Blank Flank, giving it a bit of a smile. At least I'm not having my purpose forced upon me. I get to figure it out myself. A full clean slate!

I note the saddlebags sitting not too far away from where I awoke, I assume the 'supplies' to help start me on my first month in Equestria, and I stand up and stretch out. "Well, no use thinking about it too hard, I should probably get going and figure out where to st-"

My wings snap out and my head snaps to the side as a sudden Presence makes itself known, some sense I've never noticed or never had blaring suddenly in my mind as I'm warned of a major change of wind pressure in the area. It puts me on edge and allows me to tense up for all of three seconds... just long enough to observe a small cloudbank being utterly obliterated by something at top speed and quite possibly the biggest smile I've ever seen on a pony before my spine is relocated from the rest of my body before the rest of my body catches up and I'm whipped away in a flying tacklehug to end all tacklehugs.

"NEW BEST FRIEND!"

---Moments earlier---

Celestia was having a terrible day.

I heard that scoff. What, princesses can't have a bad day? Let me tell you, this poor pony princess is having a awful, no good, very bad day. First, her one slice of cake, the only slice she gets to have every day since the new dietitian was hired, was knocked to the floor when one of those uppity nobles barged into her throneroom while she was prepping for lunch, THEN she had to deal with the blowhard, who was whining about HER LITTLE SISTER, and claiming that the Princess of the Night wasn't worthy of her life, much less being a Princess!

After she finished imagining turning the vapid thing before her (because surely this couldn't be one of -your- little ponies could it?) into scattered particles via a solar flare or launching -it- to the moon for a thousand years to see how they like it, she has to calmly get the idiot out, which is done by several of her guards, finally showing some initiative, which is just yet ANOTHER damn problem around here, and then her lunchbreak has to end early because that foal wasted half of it, and she still has to finish the day court!

Yet another noblepony whining about something not going their way just drags her day down further, and Princess Celestia Sol, The Sun Incarnate, can't help but daydream, trying to find something, -anything- to help her through this cruddy day, when suddenly, a jolt of magic spikes down her spine, making her head pop up and her eyes widen.

An ascension? Now?

She holds up a hoof to shut up the noblepony as she looks around, a small bit of magic allowing her to look through the sun itself to try to determine where it came from. Twilight? No, not yet, but she's riding the verge, as it were, and is most likely going to breakthrough very soon. Did her dear Sunny return? Nope, Mirror Dormant, which saddens the old mare for a moment, quietly sending a little prayer to her wayward student. A third glance shows that little mountain town she's been eyeing for a worrying trend and makes a frown mar her face for a moment. Yes, Starlight Glimmer is still there. Perhaps her faithful student should visit? It might be best to cut that particular action off early.

But no, not there either.

Her gaze swivels across Equestria, even as she focuses deeper inwards to try to track where the magic came from... before it pings again, and her eyes spring open wide.

The Whitetail Woods! Not too far from Ponyville or from Canterlot! It's another Alicorn!

And even as she gets to her hooves, wings spreading in excitement, her eyes finally catch gaze upon the new alicorn, the sun taking in the pony basking in it's warming glow.

A -STALLION-!

Celestia ignores all decorum and starts -galloping-, bursting off of the throne and down the dais before leaping forwards, scorching the stones in her haste as a teleportation spell takes hold and flings her out of the palace, her wings spreading and snapping close in a single, world-quaking burst of speed that shatters several windows in the wake of her take off, a feat that once learned of will be replicated several times by one particular rainbow-maned daredevil. Can't give up her title of best flyer in Equestria -that- easily!

Still, the wake of the speeding Alicorn Princess leaves a trail of fire in the sky even as a joy she's never quite felt before spreads through her entire body, a smile as bright as the sun splitting her face as she rockets towards the Whitetail Woods. A new Alicorn! Finally! After all of these years! A stallion is nice but STILL! She and Luna aren't alone anymore! Not that they were after dear Cadance was born, but Cadance was so enamored with her 'Shiny-whiny' and still was preparing for her own Empire to return.

No, this new Alicorn was a potential for something that both she and Luna had sorely missed, something that had exasperated the loneness of her dear sister and drove her to the Nightmare.

A Friend.

A -true- Friend.

The excitement was too much, and Celestia would forget, in her haste, that perhaps she should not have greeted her new best friend at Mach 5.

But still, she can't help herself as she tackles the new Alicorn at full-speed, sending them both into a wild tumble across the ground as she hugs him tightly, giggling giddily as she marvels at the warmth of his coat and the solidness of his form. He's real, he exists!

"NEW BEST FRIEND!"
-----