Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 9th, 2012
---

>Day Holiday Special in Equestria 
>Wake up
>Feet are sticking out of the end of the blanket
>Shit's cold, man.
>Get out of bed and begin developing Hypothermia
>Shiver and walk on the way to the bathroom
>Shiver shit, shiver shave, hot shower
>Shit's scalding, man.
>Dress in your warmest clothes and go to get breakfast
>Look out the kitchen window
>Snow everywhere
>First Christmas in Equestria
>Better be a good one
>They called you mad when you cut down Applejack's prized tree then desecrated the corpse with goods stolen from Pinkie Pie's Party Supplies
>You'll show them
>You'll show them all.
>Pick up your Anti-Unconsensual-Sexual-Intercourse-Apparatus and step outside
>Grin at the idea of the coming day
>You don't have the money to buy yourself material wealth in order to replicate the traditional human ritual of holiday greed
>But by god you're going to try.
>Because this year, you are Anon.
>Professional Christmas Thief.
>But how are you going to steal Christmas?
>Think back on your life and all the times you religiously watched "How the Grinch stole Christmas" in your younger years
>Remember him sneaking into houses and stealing presents
>Think for any better ideas
>Brain: Got nothin', brah.
>Let out a victory cheer
SUCCESS! It's settled then! I, Anon, shall steal Christmas! 
>"Umm, what's a christmas?"
>Turn around
>Damn. You should have expected this
>Fluttershy is behind you in the most adorable winter get up imaginable
None of your business.
>Gotta act the part, at least.
>"O-oh, ok... It just sounded like you were trying to steal something. And stealing is w-wrong..."
I don't care.
>"...And you'll get arrested, and then you'll be taken to jail, and all the big criminal stallions will r-rape you in the shower"
Stop talking.
>"Oooh~ And then you'll be moaning and grunting as they thrust h-harder and harder and fill you up with their hot sticky-"
QUIET!
>She squeals
>Glare down at her
>Her hot juices are melting the snow beneath her
>"S-so can I help you steal things so you can get raped in the shower?"
>Ponder this for a while
>On the one hand you could get her to help you steal Christmas
>On the other hand she's a real goodie two shoes and might ruin your plans
>Think for a while
>If everything goes pear shaped you can always...
>"If everything goes wrong we can blame Princess Luna and say that she's gone mad again!"
>My god this horse is a fucking genius
Very well, Fluttershy. I'll brief you on my diabolical schemes.
>You discuss your plans with Fluttershy over hot chocolate in Sugarcube Corner
>"S-so your plan is to break down the doors of the houses, tie up the ponies inside and steal all the presents?"
>Smile proudly
Eeyup.
>She stares at you
>"Anon that's a horrible idea"
How is it?
>"Well for starters breaking down the door will attract too much attention, the family will probably scream when you attack them which will alert the other households in the area, if the family has a unicorn of enough magical power you'll be taken down, and your idea of wearing a rubber glove over your face as a disguise is flawed because you're the only human looking thing in Ponyville so everyp0ny will know that it's you."
>You're flabbergasted
>"Umm. But if you want to carry on then that's... umm... fine..."
Well uhh, got any better plans?
>"You will climb onto the house roof after all the lights are out, enter through an open window of chimney, quietly sweep all the presents into a sack before leaving through a window which you will then close behind you, making as little noise as possible so as not to disturb the occupants of the house"
>Good lord.
How do you know all this stuff?
>"I umm... Sneak into your house sometimes"
>Figures
Ok, we'll go with your plan, since it's better.
>She blushes
>"Y-you know I'm also better than your right hand at pleasuring your dick"
Well that's just inappropriate.
>"Sorry..."
>You both finish your drinks and head back outside
Ok, Fluttershy. Meet me at my place this evening. Got it?
>"Got it! It's a date!"
Wait, what?
>She's already gone
>Fuckin' horse.
>That night, at 9 o Clock, you're stood outside your house freezing your nuts off
>Grumble under your breath
Where is she?...
>Your front door opens and out walks Fluttershy
>"Oh, sorry. I thought we were meeting inside your house..."
Where exactly were you?
>"On your bed waiting for you"
>God dammit
Ok whatever. Lets go steal Christmas
>"Whatsmas?"
>You both job down the path into Ponyville
>Fluttershy is dressed in a jet black skin-tight latex outfit that moulds around every part of her body
>You're amazed she's still breathing
>As for you, you're in a black outfit with facepaint to cover up that pale white face of yours
>Ye' goddamn shut in
>Make it to the first house on your list
>Lower your voice to a whisper
Ok, so here's the plan. I'll climb up on top and-
>"I'll FLY up, go down the chimney and open a window for your to climb in through on the ground floor"
...Yeah. Why are you so eager to help me steal shit?
>"I really want to see you get raped by a stallion."
>Well at least she's honest about it.
>Watch her fly up and down the chimney
>After a few moments you hear her whisper into the night
>"Anon! Over here!"
>Clamber into the open window and crouch down on the floor like some unfit amateur ninja
>Target acquired: The Tree
>This one's an actual Christmas tree, not an apple tree you stole.
>Applejack sure was angry at you that day
>But you said you'd chop down more if she laid a hoof on you
>Unfortunately, the term "Chop down more" means something completely different in Equestria than it does on Earth
>As a result Applejack took it the wrong way and you spent the next 4 hours fucking like animals in the barn.
>Your dick still hurts
>But at least Applejack let you off on the condition that you "chop down more" in future
>Bloody rednecks.
>Fluttershy starts feeling your arse and you snap back to reality
>Start to float upwards
>Oh shit, there goes gravity.
>Fluttershy drags you back down and motions to the tree
>"You grab the presents, i'll keep an eye out"
>Nod
>Start shovelling presents into the sack
>Once it's full you retreat out the window
>Fuck yeah. Human Greed.
>Fluttershy follows you out carrying something you missed
>A 10" dildo
Where the fuck did you get that?
>She blushes
>"Oh, I found it lying around in the parent's room"
>Stare at her some more
>She grins back
>"W-want me to loosen up your butt-"
Let's keep moving
>Throughout the night you and Fluttershy enter houses and steal presents, filling up your sack until it weigh as much as 50 criminalgrams
>Smile to yourself as you and Fluttershy walk down the street to the last house on your list
>Fluttershy shoots down the chimney and opens a window
>You hop inside with your sack
>And nearly step on a child
>Oh shit
>They booby trapped the fucking floor
>Gawp at what seems to be about 25 foals sleeping and snoring on the floor around the tree
>Jesus Christ
>Start stepping over them like organic landmines
>Start sweating a lot more
>Tremble as you step over the last foal and begin carefully placing presents into your sack
>"Ponyta?"
>Your head swivels 180 degrees around
>To hell with biology, the mission comes first
>A child is talking to herself in her sleep
>"mmm... Ponyta..."
>You feel the sudden urge to throw balls at things
>You put it down as repressed homosexuality and carry on looting
>Once done you start your trek back to the window
>Get half way there and freeze.
>Fluttershy
>She's smiling at you
>And holding a glass of water
>Directly over the head of a small colt
>Whisper as quietly as you can
Fluttershy... What the fuck are you doing?
>"You could go to prison, Anon. If they found you here. Sneaking into houses, stealing goods and endangering foals"
This wasn't part of the deal! If we get caught we're both dead!
>"Oh I'll be fine. My father is the supreme judge of the Equestrian High Court. They won't touch me."
>Holy fuck you didn't run a background check
>You moron.
Fluttershy. I'll do anything. Just don't drop that water.
>She smiles harder
>"Would you be willing to take it in the ass from a stallion?"
If it's not in prison, yes! Please! Anything! We can talk about your demands later let's just get out of here!
>Notice the foals around you start to stir in their sleep
>One of them yawns
>FUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK
>Fluttershy thinks for a second
>"Ok then."
>Sigh in relief
>Carry on stepping over foals
>Reach the window
>Get out safely and watch as Fluttershy flies out after you
That was a close one. What the hell were you thinking?
>She looks at you sadly
>"I just want to watch you get violated by a big stallion dick, is that too much to ask?"
>She starts tearing up
>Fucking hell.
>Crouch down and start petting her
>She looks up at you and smiles
>Then leans in for a kiss
Stop being creepy. Come on, lets go home.
>Both of you walk back to your house and fall asleep on your sofa with a massive sack full of Christmas loot at your feet
>Just before you drift off you smile and say to yourself:
At least nothing went wrong...

>Wake up the next day
>Fluttershy is still out like a light
>Push her off the sofa
>"Eep!"
Get up and get out. You fulfilled your end of the bargain
>"W-what do I get for it?"
>Think for a second
The satisfaction that thanks to the multiverse theory, somewhere out there in the reaches of reality, there is a world exactly like this one where you and I are happily married and have 3 foals.
>She stares at you then blushes
>"A-are we living in my house?"
Sure.
>"D-do we have r-regular... sex?"
Every night.
>"Eeep!"
>She shudders then falls to the floor in a puddle of her own discharge
>Disgusting.
>That was a nice rug as well.
>Drag her by her tail to the front door and throw her out in the snow, where she sinks in and starts steaming due to how hot she is
>Shake your head and go back inside
>Sit down at your Christmas-Apple-Tree and inspect your loot
Toys... Toys... Books... Junk... Aha!
>Lift up a small gold necklace
Looks like this whole adventure wasn't a total waste after all!
>Giggle and sigh contently
>Close your eyes and enjoy the warmth of your house
>Suddenly the far left wall explodes inwards
>"POLICE! HANDS IN THE AIR, MOTHER FUCKER!"
OH SHIT IT'S THE FUZZ!
>Combat roll over the back of the sofa and pull out the shotgun you brought with you to Equestria
>Magic Missiles and paralyzing spells fly at you through the dust cloud
>Reply in kind with shot after shot
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!
>Stop to reload
>A stallion the size of Big Mac leaps over the sofa-turned-shield and tackles you to the ground
>"YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A LONG TIME, ASSHOLE."
FUCK! HOW DID YOU KNOW?
>"CCTV, MONKEY MAN."
YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FUCKING TELEVISION, HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!
>Get arrested and dragged out the hole in your wall
>You killed like, 7 police ponies
>Thrown in prison.

>Day 4 in Prison in Equestria
>Walk into the showers
>Pick up the soap
>Drop the soap
>Stare at the soap
>Look around
>You're the only one in the shower block
>Try to pick up the soap as fast as you can
>As soon as you bend over you feel a massive stallion dick enter your tight virgin ass
AAAAAAAAAA
>"OOOOH CELESTIA THAT FEELS GOOD"
>Continue to scream and grunt as every single prisoner within a 1 mile radius takes turns
>Meanwhile, a pair of teal eyes watch from a nearby window, pleasuring herself with a 10" dildo
>Fucking Fluttershy

The End