Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 17th, 2012
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>Day ADVENTURE HO in Equestria
>Wake up and yawn
>Feels like one of those days
>You know which ones.
>No, not those.
>THOSE days.
>Yeah, those.
>Get out of bed and throw on whatever was on the floor
>Shit shave shower
>Walk downstairs and open the door
>Pick up the paper
>"Extremely dangerous experimental technology stolen!"
>Blink
>Look up
>Fluttershy is stood infront of you, beaming
>She's wearing a large box on her back, covered in flashing lights and cup-holders
>Belts, straps and velcro are sticking out all over her to secure the machine to her back
>Look back down at the paper
>"It looks like this if you see it"
>Picture looks identical to the box Fluttershy is wearing
>Look at her
>Check your watch
>8:00 AM
>Sigh
>Oh yeah. It's gonna be one of THOSE days alright.
Go on. What now.
>"S-so Anon, A nice pony lended this machine to me! They said it would make you love me!"
>Look at the paper
>"Scientist 'Antee Mater' reported being forced to the ground and had to watch as a masked mare bludgeoned the entire science team then jumped out the window screaming about the power of love"
>Look back up at Fluttershy
I am so not in the mood for this shit.
>"Tough"
>She slams a dial attached to her forehoof and the machine starts up
>Read the paper some more while Fluttershy tries to do stupid shit
>"The Funky-Lighty-Universe-Tearing-Temporal-Energy-Rift-Singularity-Harbinger-Yes Machine was created with the intention of Science"
>"When asked what kind of science, Antee Mater replied 'Hell if I know. But it looks cool'"
>Hear a low whirr come from Fluttershy's machine
>Look up
>She's shaking like a Jackhammer and is clearly scared of her own looted piece of tech
>Scrunch up the paper and throw it over your shoulder
>Clasp your hands together and assume a ready postion
Alright, Science. Show me what you've got
>Feel your body become weightless as you and Fluttershy are torn out of Equestria and deposited in a different plane of existence
>You both pop back into reality and stagger around for a bit
>Fluttershy throws up
>Gross
>Look around
>Well fuck
>You and Y.Pone are stood on a desloate plateau overlooking a equally dead looking valley
>Creatures you can't even begin to comprehend circle the skies and the screams of a thousand alien lifeforms hit your ears
>There are also 7 suns, but you're more concerned about the aliens
>Turn back to Fluttershy, who's just recovering
Nice work, Fluttershy. You sent us to an alien world with seven suns.
>"O-oh good. Is it your fetish?"
No. No it isn't.
>"Darn it. I was sure you'd love this"
>Look down to the valley and watch a swarm of creatures collide with another in a vicious melee of fang and claw
>The monsters violently tear each other asunder and don't stop until every single creature is dead
>Blood and other unnamable substances coat the area where the battle happened
Oh yeah, I was sure I'd love it here as well. Now please send us home.
>"Ok ok... Fucking Anon..."
What was that?
>You both get sucked back into the void and tumble around for a while until you both land in the middle of a grassy field
>Fluttershy groans
>You don't, because you're hardcore.
>Look around 
>Well there's your first problem
>This isn't Equestria.
>Nudge a wheezing Fluttershy with your foot
Get up. You haven't sent us home.
>"W-what? But I pressed... umm... oh..."
>That doesn't sound good
>Pinch the bridge of your nose with your finger and thumb then sigh
What now?
>You knew you should have stayed in bed today
>"W-well the instruction manual said that in order to get back the original destination, you need to suck hot monkey dick"
I see... I see...
>Wait no you don't
Wait no I don't, what was that last bit?
>She blushes
>"S-so if you want to get home, you'd better get naked, mister!"
>Yeah.
>Nah.
>Crack your knuckles
Please remember that I take absolutely no joy in doing this, Fluttershy
>She starts backing away
And that any injuries you may sustain are purely by accident
>She starts shaking
>"N-now d-don't do anything you'll r-regret, Anon"
>Body Slam her
>You both kick and scream like little girls for about 5 minutes until you managed to tear the machine off Fluttershy's back
>She also orgasmed like, 4 times throughout that
>Fuckin' Horse.
>Attach the machine to your back
>The straps are tight as hell
>Look at Fluttershy, who's twitching on the floor in a puddle of discharge and happiness
>"W-was that good for you too, Anon?"
You're hilarious. Now get up and lets go. I'll show you how to operate a fucking Singularity Generator
>You once beat the first level of Starcraft 2 on Normal mode. So how hard can this be?
>Press the dial on your wrist
>One rollercoaster ride and a wave of temporal sickness later you arrive in Equestri-
>Hang on, no, you fucked up as well.
>Look around at the Alien city stretching before you
>Watch hovercars and hoverboards fly past your head
>A hover-newspaper is at your feet
>Pick it up
>October 21, 2015
Great Scott.
>Fluttershy seems to be getting better with rift-travel
>She stares in awe at the city
>"Oh my goodness! It's so... Pretty"
>You have to admit. It's a spectacular sight
>Skyscrapers as tall as the heavens
>Billions of lights and sounds all around you
>A jungle of cold steel and computers
>You almost feel at home
>Fluttershy looks at you
>"A-are you ok, Anon? Is this your fetish?"
Nearly. But it's not home.
>"Do you miss home?"
More than you can imagine. Come on, lets go.
>Slap the wrist dial
>Nothing
>Oh.
Fluttershy, check the box, is there anything different?
>She flies up behind it
>"Insert monkey dick"
I'll eat every animal you own.
>"INSERT MORE SALT! INSERT MORE SALT!"
That's better
>Well. A rift machine powered by salt
>That's just rad.
Come on, you. Lets go find some salt. Gotta be SOME lying around.
>You and Fluttershy wander around the alien city for about 30 minutes, awestruck by the sheer complexity of it all
>You literally cannot see the tops of some buildings.
>It's broad daylight, but you can't see them.
>These aliens must be gods of their time.
>"FUCK YOU, YA BLOODY BASTARD! I'LL FUCKIN' CUT YOU, YEAH?"
>Now that's just silly
>Walk over to two aliens arguing
>They look like humans, but with 4 arms, green skin and eyes so slanted it makes an asian man look white.
>Fucking hell you're racist.
>They're pushing each other and shouting in a Middle-eastern accent
>This place is weird
>Clear your throat as you approach
Uhh, excuse me, gentle..uuhhh, men? But where can I find some salt?
>They look at you with shocked expressions
>Oh yeah. You and the talking horse probably aren't from around here
>"That fuckin' human?"
>"Sheeeeeeeeit! I though they all extinct!"
>"Fuckin' cray, that, bro."
Extict. What.
>"Yeah, man! You peeps are fuckin' crazy! Went and picked a fight with the Albraxan Empire! You all got fucked up and your homeworld got blown up!"
Oh. Ok then.
>You're quite sure how to take this news. But then again this IS a different universe
>Thank god for the multiverse theory
>You realise, as you stand talking to an alien being who isn't hostile, and is also speaking fluent english, that you must be the luckiest man in the history of the universe
>Fucking Lady Luck
Sooo yeah, where can I find salt?
>"Salt? Just go to a cafe, man. There's one over there."
>He points two arms at a neon-lit diner with several aliens eating at tables
Thanks a bunch, really.
>"No problem. Always happy to help a human. Our races got on great until those faggot Albraxans ruined everything."
>"Oh and one more thing, you might wanna keep your horse-thingy on a leash. Can't take pets into cafes"
I kinda guessed that. Well I'd better be going, laters, bro!
>You walk over to the diner
>Stop just outside it
>Turn to Fluttershy who's been oddly quiet this whole time
Ok. I'm gonna go in there and grab as much salt as I can. You stay out here and don't do anything stupid. Ok?
>"umm... ok... P-please don't be long, I don't like these creatures"
They aren't so bad. You just need to be more assertive.
>She smiles at that
>You glare at her
You got us stranded in a parallel universe. You don't get to smile
>She frowns
Much better.
>Walk inside the diner and up to what you assume is a waiter
Uhhh, hi.
>He looks at you and gasps
>"Holy hell! I thought you people were extinct!"
Nope. Can I have some salt?
>"Sure!"
>Runs into the kitchen, leaving you in the middle of the diner floor
>Aliens are looking at you and taking pictures
>You smile slightly and give little awkward waves
>The waiter comes running back in
>"Here's your salt, mister human! H-have a great day!"
Thanks, buddy
>He mumbles something like "he called me buddy" before fainting
>Whatever
>Walk out the cafe with a bowl of salt
>Fluttershy is literally glowing. Like she's irradiated
What did you do?
>"Umm. W-well a nice alien came and offered me some of this liquid... And I didn't want to say no-"
Did you drink radioactive fluids?
>"...Yes"
Fucks sake. Well lets hope you don't die or get superpowers. Because I don't want to have to explain that when we get back
>Fluttershy pours the salt into the machine and it churns again
>It speaks out in a generic robotic voice
>"FULL. POWER."
>Cool
Right. Hang on tight, Ya goddamn rapist. Next stop- EQUESTRIA!
>Slam the dial and the rift opens
>You land gracefully on your face at the other end of the void
>Fluttershy lands on your leg and starts humping it
>"Ugh, oh-OH! Oh yes..."
>Shake her off like you would with an overbearing dog
Knock it off, asshole. We're he- OH COME ON!
>Fire rains down from the skies over the boiling seas.
>You and Fluttershy are stood on a little island that's dissolving fast
>Fluttershy sees this
>"PUSH THE DIAL!"
>You push that fucking dial
>Pop into another world
>This one has Dinosaurs
>Pop into another world
>Everything is made of mirrors
>Pop into another world
>End up in a city much like New York
Woah, hey, is this Earth?
>Look around
>Walk over to a taxi-driver
Hey, buddy, is this New York?
>"No shit, sherlock. Since you're so amazing at stating the obvious, let me ask YOU a question. Is that a meteorite?"
>Look up
>There's a fucking meteorite heading towards you
OOOOOH SHHHHIT!
>Press the dial just as the meteor collides with the Empire State Building
>Pop into another world
>"Greetings, Anon. We are the Council. We have been expecting you."
Awesome.
>"You have finally arrived after millions of years of us waiting. And now we shall grant you the secrets of the universe"
Am I going to Hell?
>"No."
Good.
>Press the dial
>Pop into another world
>This time there's grass, and a familar scent on the wind. You look around and see Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack is sorting out some tools and other objects
>Smile
Finally.
>Turn to Fluttershy
Well. Looks like we're home.
>She looks worn out
>"So was any of that your fetish?"
Nah.
>"Thank Celestia. I'm going home"
>She just walks away
Hey! Don't you want your machine back?
>She shouts over her shoulder
>"Keep it! I don't want it anymore!"
>Huh. Cool.
>Walk home and throw the machine down on the kitchen table
>Stare at it for a while
What the hell am I going to do with you?
>Think
>Bingo.
>5 minutes later you smile as you read a book with your feet up on your new interdimensional footrest
>Today was weird.
>Fucking Fluttershy.

The End.