Originally uploaded to Pastebin: December 20th, 2012
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>Day Darling in Equestria
>Wake up feeling warmer than usual
>Look down
>Fluttershy is asleep on the covers over your crotch
>Try to nudge her off
>It's like trying to move a sleeping puppy
>You can't, out of good nature, disturb this sweet soft spoken snoozer
>Settle for an old method used by your grandmother to wake sleeping animals
WAKE THE FUCK UP
>She screams and her internal Flight or Flight instinct kicks in 
>She circles the room for about 4 seconds, screaming her head off until she eventually flies into a wall and knocks herself unconcious
>Stupid horse.
>Step over her limp body and make yourself some breakfast
>Open the fridge and pull out milk
>There's something you've forgotten, but you can't put your finger on it
>Sit down at the table and slowly eat whatever inedible horror you poured milk over
>On closer inspection it seems to be cereal
>Jesus christ how horrifying.
>Stare at the fridge for what seems like forever
>Realise that someone has covered the entire front of the fridge in paper and has scribbled "REMEMBER RARITY" all over it in red marker
>Narrow your eyes
>What's it trying to tell you?
>You make a note to get Twilight in on this cryptic shit
>Finish eating and tidy up
>Walk into the hallway to check yourself in the mirror
>You're not wearing a shirt, because getting dressed before food is what Hitler would do
>Notice that the same person has written "I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU FORGET RARITY"
>Who is this mysterious scribbler?
>And how has he written so neatly on you, as well as written all the words backwards so that you can read them in a mirror?
>Check your watch, which you wear all the time
>The back of your hand reads "Fucking hell you're an idiot"
>It clicks
OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT RARITY
>Scramble upstairs and into your bedroom
>Trip over Fluttershy on the way in and slide on your front to the wardrobe
>Get up and put on anything you can see
>Run back towards the stairs
>Trip over Fluttershy again on the way out
>Fall downstairs and feel something break
>No time for medical attention
>Gotta go Rarity
>Run out the front door, leaving it wide open and the keys still in the door
>Fluttershy will lock up
>If she's not dead or traumatised from headbutting the wall
>Why was she even in your house?
>NO TIME. RARITY.
>Sprint down the road towards Carousel Bouttique
>Pass Rainbow Dash
>She flies after you, grinning
>"Hey Anon! Where ya going?"
GOBBA GUH RARREE
>"Oh cool. Well, see you around!"
>Ignore her and carry on sprinting
>Your chest is burning and you see the corners of your vision going dark
>Start up a mantra to keep yourself going
Blubbablubbablubba
>Damn. This early morning exercise is killing you
>Try to keep the mantra going
bluhgb... buuuh... allllmmmooooooo...
>Reach the front of Carousel Bouttique and run straight into the door
>Too tired to bother with conventional means of stopping
>Lie on the ground in the dirt for 10 minutes, breathing in the soil and becoming one with nature
>Also trying to regain control of your legs, which quit after you fell over.
>While you discuss shorter hours and better pay to try and keep your legs on the team, the door to the shop opens
>"Oh! Anon, darling. What on earth are you doing down there?"
I can offer you more frequent breaks as well, please, legs. This team needs you.
>Wait for a response
>Your legs finally agree, under the condition that they get treated with more respect in the future
Glad to have you back, legs.
>Stand up
>See Rarity looking at you with a bewildered look on her face
>You hold each other's gazes for about a minute
Hi.
>"Hello"
Can I come in?
>"If you want"
>Step through the door and follow Rarity to a desk she has set up
>Sit down across from her
>Rarity gets on her red-rimmed glasses and reads a sheet of paper
>You sit there fidgetting
>"Now... You want to work at my shop as a... "Helper"?"
That's correct
>"I see... And what experience do you have in this field?"
I can lie to customers and make them think that they're buying a quality product when they're really buying rubbish. I once sold a homeless guy a rotting fish, he thought it was gold.
>Rarity tears off her glasses and stands up, extending her hoof with a massive smile on her face
>You shake it
>"Welcome aboard, Anonymous! You start right now."
Cool.
>Working at Rarity's shop turned out to be the right choice.
>The work is easy, the pay is good, and the hours are just right.
>Your legs would be jealous
>Not that you would actually know, you're still holding Rarity's hoof and smiling at each other
>Seconds tick by
>"Uuhhh, s-should you get to work then?"
Probably.
>You both start work.
>Rarity makes dresses
>You assist her, watch the door and help with customers
>Hours go by and you find yourself smiling
>You finally found a place to work
>This week was hell
>Though you're glad Rarity was generous enough to give you a job. She's so nice to you
>You look over your shoulder to see what she's doing
>She's screaming incoherantly at a piece of fabric
>Ahh... So delicate...
>You hear the door bell tinkle
>Giggle at the word "tinkle" as you go to see who it is
>Fluttershy is stood in the doorway, swaying slightly with a large bandage on her head
Welcome to Carousel Boutique! How may I help you, sir?
>"Iwannadress"
Sorry?
>"I would like a dress... Please..."
Super! I'll just go and get Rarity and she can sort you out
>Smile and walk into the next room, where Rarity is tossing lit matches on the piece of fabric she was working with
>"Oh, Anonymous! What is it?"
Customer, Ma'am.
>"Ahh, you're so polite, Anonymous. I'm glad you work here."
>As she walks past you her tail lightly rubs your crotch
>Follow her out and watch her deal with Fluttershy
>"And what happened then, darling?"
>"O-oh, well he was asleep at the time, so I just sucked him o- Oh, hello, Anon!"
>Blink
>This explains why your boxers were damp this morning
>The filthy little devil actually tried to felate you in your sleep!
>The nerve
>Rarity wouldn't do that. She's too nice.
>Both mares are staring at you, like they're expecting an answer
>Why should you answer them? They're just going to rape you.
>They'll just tackle you and hold you down with magic
>They'd probably silence your screams with a kiss on the lips, and then pull your pants down.
>Then the harlots would most likely start licking and sucking the tip of your shaft, well obviously you'll get hard because Penis is the rogue on this team. Of course he'd betray you.
>Not like Left Arm. He's loyal
>Once you're hard they'd probably lower themselves onto you slowly, savouring the warmth and hardness of your no doubt rock hard dick
>Then, just to insult you further, they'd start riding you over and over again, screaming in pleasure from orgasm after orgasm and the shop would close early so that you can spend the whole day fucking them
>But that won't happen
>Bloody ponies
>Rarity and Fluttershy look at each other
>Anon is staring into space, drooling slightly and his arms are slightly swaying at his sides
>He murmurs something like "bloody ponies"
>"R-rarity?"
>"Yes, darling?"
>"Did we umm. Break him?"
>"I think so, darling."
>AND THEN, JUST AS YOU THINK IT'S OVER.
>OOOH NOOO. THEY'D TURN UP ON YOUR DOORSTEP BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS. BUT YOU AIN'T HAVIN' NONE A' THAT SHIT.
>YOU'D BE FORCED TO SWEEP THEM OFF THEIR FEET AND LOVINGLY KISS THEM, AND THEN 5 WEEKS LATER YOU'D BE MARRIED.
>AND THEN YOU'D LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR DAYS IN UTTER CONTENT
>FUCKING PONIES.
>Shake your head and snap back to reality
>Look around
>Fluttershy and Rarity are sat on the floor nibbling biscuits, drinking tea and giggling
>Notice the clock
>How long were you stood there?
>Rarity looks up
>"Ah, Anonymous. You're uhh, normal again."
What happened?
>"You just walked into the room and zoned out. Started drooling and cursing ponykind under your breath"
>Fluttershy sips her tea
>"W-we thought it was a human thing so we just let you have your moment"
Well ok then. Did you want a dress?
>"Oh, I decided against it. Thank you for the bandage though"
>You now realise that the bandage is a pair of your dirty underpants held on her head by an elastic band
>Why.
>Rarity finished her tea and stands up
>"Now, Anonymous. Apart from your little, uhh, 'episode' there. You did a fine job on your first day. Same time tomorrow?"
Yes, Ma'am.
>She giggles.
>"Oh Anonymous, you're so polite."
>She walks past you and brushes your crotch again with her tail
>"I like that in a stallion."

>After walking home in the dark you lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling
>You can't stop thinking about Rarity. She was acting so odd today.
>She set fire to her fabrics and ate biscuits. She never eats biscuits.
>Something strange is going on around here
>Look out your bedroom window from where you're led and see a pair of teal eyes in a guille suit staring back at you
>So strange.
>You look away and close your eyes before falling asleep

>Day Fabulous in Equestria
>Wake up and throw off the covers
>Look down
>You're covered in a clear crust
>Wipe it off and commence the routine
>Shit Shave Shower Shit Shower Shave Shit Shit Shave Shower Shave Shower Shower Shower Shit Shave Shower Shalom Shave Shit Shit Shave
>4 hours late you're running down the road again
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO POOP THAT MUCH?
>Pass Silver Spoon while you scream that
>She shouts after you
>"I ASK MYSELF THAT EVERY DAY!"
>Ignore her
>She's weird.
>Reach the shop
>No time for doors
>Perform a flawless dive staight through the front window, shredding your arms and getting blood covered glass all over the floor
>A panel of judges in the corner gives you straight 10's and applause
>Dust yourself off and head towards the back room
>Hear talking
>Lurk mode engaged
>Peer through a crack in the door
>Rarity is talking to herself in a mirror
>"Ok, Rarity. You can do this"
>She composes herself and offers a hoof forwards
>"Good morning, Anonymous! Would you like to join me for dinner?"
>"No no no... He won't like that..."
>She tries again
>"Hello, Anon! Want to meet after work?"
>"No... Far too casual..."
>She sighs
>"I just need to be more, ah, assertive! Yes, that's right! Just like I told Fluttershy!"
>She flashes a brilliant smile at herself then trots towards the door where you're peeking
>Run back into the main room and look busy
>Rarity appears
>"Good morn- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY WINDOW?!"
Griffons.
>"I- what?"
Griffons did this. Hundreds of them. I tried to fend them off but look what they did to me!
>Show her your gored arms
>You really need to get it looked at
>Which is why you showed it to Rarity, duh.
>Brain, you're a fucking genius.
>I know.
>"Oh my. Uuuh, Anon... I think we need to clean that. Follow me"
>You obediently follow her into her kitchen
>Rarity sits you down and starts dabbing the blood around the wounds with a damp cloth
>Once all the blood is cleaned she goes about applying bandages
>You watch her work intently
>She catches you staring and looks up, smiling.
>"Anon..."
Yes?
>"Do you... Want to... Uhh..."
>Grin
Do you want to meet up after work?
>Her eyes light up
>"YES! I mean, ahh, yes. I would."
>You both giggle and go about working all day as usual
>Once the shop is closed for the night you and Rarity are stood in the front room of the shop
So, what should we-
>She tackles you to the floor
>HEY THIS IS JUST LIKE YOUR FANTASY-
>NO IT ISN'T. THIS IS BAD. WE DON'T WANT TO FUCK HORSES.
>WHY?
>[PLOT DEVICE]
>OH WELL THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE
>Rarity kisses you all over your face
>"Oh Anon, you're so brave... Fighting off those Griffons and having to put up with Fluttershy!"
What Griffons?
>She carries on
>"We can make this night something special, Anon. Just you and me. Together. In this room. Just us and the romance in the air"
>Sounds good to me
>BONER! YOU BASTARD.
>That's right, I'm sick of this charade! I'm going rogue.
>AGAIN?
>Damn straight. I'm leaving and I'm taking your Pony virginity with me
>You absolute knob.
>Try and stop me, nerd.
>Damn. He called you a nerd.
>You got nothin'.
>Rarity sighs happily on top of you
>"Are you ready to begin?"
No?
>"Good."
>She uses her magic to take off your clothes while her weight holds you down
>If only you ate your vegetables, Brushed your teeth twice a day, Worked hard in school and said no to drugs. You could have pushed her off you.
>But alas, you didn't go to church every sunday, so this is your punishment
>And also you didn't respect your parents.
>Shop at Walmart.
>Even though it was hopeless, you try to struggle
>Rarity shushes you
>"Now now, Anonymous. This can be fun for both of us! Just don't struggle, darling."
And what if I do? What if I scream for help?
>Rarity's warm expression disappears.
>Her face becomes hard and merciless, and she stares right into your eyes
>Her gaze is uncaring. You feel your blood run cold as she regards you with utter contempt
>She slowly lowers her head next to your ear, maintaining eye contact the whole time
>You're paralyzed with fear from this new, scary Rarity
>She opens her mouth and whispers into your ear
>"I will stain your dresses"
>You tense up and go numb with fear
>Tears start streaking down your face as you try to hold it together
>"Now. Are you going to play nice?"
Y-yes, M-ma'am...
>She laughs. It's not a nice sound. It's harsh and sends shivers down your spine
>"Oh Anonymous."
>She whispers in your ear again
>"You're so polite."

>3 hours later you and Rarity are led in her bed
>She's cuddled up next to your chest just under your armpit and is sighing happily
>You're staring at the wall infront of the bed with your hands behind your head
Wow.
>Rarity moans happily
I had no idea it would be that good.
>"Isn't it, though?"
Yeah. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
>"Want to to it again more often? I'll pay you extra for your troubles..."
>She starts making a cirlce on your chest with the tip of her hoof and bats her eyelids suggestively at you
Sure, I'm down for that.
>"Wonderful, darling..."
>You smile and rest your head against Rarity's
>Getting paid to have sex?
>Damn this mare is something else.
>Good thing Fluttershy isn't here.
>Prostitution is your fetish.

>Across town, Fluttershy shudders.

The End