>21.5th.
>Taking extra care not to be spotted by any of the Mane 6, you stopped by Taco Del Pone.
>With a bit of smooth talking, you could procure yourself some Meat-Substitute(TM) for the road.
>Sometime before all of this rapey business with Fluttershy started, Derpy gave you a gift.
>It was a brown satchel bag, and it'd be perfect for this "camping trip."
>"Hi, welcome to Taco Del Pone! What can I get for y-"
>"...Oh Celestia, it's that monkey again..."
"Hey, miss, can I ask you something real quick?"
>"Hurry up and make an order, you freak. You've got a whole line of ponies behind you."
>A whole line of ponies?
>Also, did she just call you a freak?
>"Sorry, everypony! We're having some delays, but I promise I'll take care of you!"
>She almost sounded upset with you, but her voice changed instantly when addressing the customers.
>Must be one of those "customer service" skills or something.
>After whipping your head around to confirm, you saw a full line of hungry ponies behind you.
>It's called fast food for a reason, so you shouldn't be surprised, but you literally JUST came in.
>"Psst, hey, Anon! Anoooon!"
>Another horse acquaintance of yours, Minuette, waved hello to you at the back of the line.
"Hi, Minuette..."
>You waved back with an awkward smile; You're always feeling out of place in this Horse World.
>"AHHEEMM."
>The counter mare cleared her sassy little throat, snapping you back to her.
"Oh, my bad, got distracted."
>Looking her over, she had a white mane, similar to Lyra's in style, with a single streak of black.
>Her gray, bored looking eyes stared straight into your soul.
>Since you're so much taller than the counter, you could peek over and see her cutie mark.
>From what you can tell, this is a cerified Fast Food Horse.
>You could see what looked to be a small container of fries on her flank.
>Her name tag read "Sassy Service."
>Sounds about right.
>You looked left and right to make sure nopony else nearby would hear what you were about to whisper.
"Show me the meats."
>She doesn't seem to be very fond of your presence at all, and looked at you like you were crazy.
>"The... what now?"
"Show me your Meat-Substitute. I'll buy some of it off of you, if you don't mind."
>"So many weirdos in this town, I swear..."

>She brought a hoof to her forehead, stepping into the back of the kitchen.
>"Trixie, take over for me, please. You, big dumb monkey, follow me into the back."
>"I-I'M ON IT!"
>To your surprise, Trixie ran up to the counter, and she was positively sweating bullets.
"Trixie? What the fuck are you doing here?"
>"O-Oh, well, if you must know, Trixie is running a little low on funds."
"Your performances haven't been going so well, have they?"
>"SSHHHH! Do you want everypony in the building to know that?!" Trixie hissed at you, trying to keep it down.
>This is fucking priceless.
>She's a part-time Wagie(TM) now.
>You feel the strongest urge to point and laugh right in her face, but that would be mean.
>You're just as rude as Twilight is, sometimes.
>Either way, it's nice to see that Dream Trixie and Real Trixie are exactly the same.
>"Get lost, will you?! If you couldn't tell, we're shortstaffed right now!"
"Ok, ok, I'll leave you to it... Oh, and it's nice seeing you."
>"Yeah, yeah, just... get outta' here!" Trixie had a bit of a blush on her face after that.
>Running behind the corner after the yellow-coated sassy mare, you left Trixie to her own devices.
>"Anon, is it? What took you so long? Show me the bits."
>You unzipped your hoodie, reaching inside of it like you were a drug dealer or something.
>Once you pulled out a small bag of bits, bursting at the seams with coin, her tune changed.
>"And how many containers of Meat-Substitute would you like to buy?"
>She sounded all cutesy out of nowhere, it shocked you.
"Mmmm...Five."
>"Thank you, sir! That'll be fifteen bits!"
>HHNNNGHHH
>Her customer service voice does things to you.
>Sassy's horn glowed with a golden tint, and a nearby door swung open.
>Soon, five cans of Meat-Substitute were levitated over to you.
>After handing her the bits, she proudly took them, and the cans were yours.
>You shoved all five of them into your satchel before thanking her.
"Pleasure doing business with you."
>"Likewise. Now scram. I've gotta' get back to Trixie. She won't last long by herself."
>As soon as business was conducted, she went back to being unhospitable.
>Did she have to be so brutal about it?
"Can I see you again sometime? If that's alright?"
>"Hmph. You aren't broke, so maybe when I'm not on shift. Come by at closing time and we'll talk."
>Two-faced, shrewd AND sassy?
>She called you a freak earlier, but even so, you think you like this mare.
>Without a doubt in your mind, you feel she'd make a great friend.
>It's totally not because you're attracted to sassy girls or anything.
>Heavens no.
"Sure thing! I'm... uh... going on a trip, and I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I'll see you when I do!"
>"Whatever. Do me a favor and go out the back door, will you?"
>You flashed a thumbs up at her and she simply rolled her eyes in response.

>Sassy returned to the counter, and Trixie smiled as if Celestia herself came to save her.
>Taking your leave out the back door of Taco Del Pone, you chuckled from a funny thought.
>How would Trixie react if you told her about the deal you made with her dream version?
>Your business here was done for now, though.
>The next task is to head to the Ponyville train station.
>You don't want to miss the train going to Manehattan, but you'll have to take the back streets.
>Or roads, to be precise.
>You wouldn't want to walk around in plain sight, Fluttershy could be watching and waiting.
>Then, you'll hop on board, get as close to you can to Neighagra Falls, and hop off.
>The train going to Manehattan should just about get you where you need to go.
>And all of your supplies seem to be in order.
>An electric lantern, a few batteries, your Knife(TM), a canteen of water, and five cans of Meat-Substitute(TM).
>Thinking back to the contents of Spike's letter, he said to make sure you didn't bring anypony else.
>You still don't know what this is about, but whatever he wants to talk to you about must be important.
>Arriving at the camping spot "shouldn't" be an issue.
>Assuming you don't get attacked by any the local wild-life.
>Those forests are nowhere near as hostile to you as Everfree, so it "should" be fine.
>Telling any of the Mane 6 where you're headed is a no-no.
>Especially Fluttershy.
>If she isn't stalking you already, that is.
>Speaking of Peanut Flutter Cups, it's a bit creepy how she didn't crop up in that dream a single time.
>And on the topic of that dream, you never got that hug you wanted from Twilight.
>Dream Ponka's words, just before the Super Mega Ultra Double Sloppy Toppy 3,000(TM), really made you think.
>You never expected a horse, especially one like Pinkie, to say something so profound.
>And even if it's a coping mechanism, maybe you should stop giving traumatizing events funny names.
>But perhaps you shouldn't joke so much about Rarity and Pinkie Pie sucking your cock while you were depressed.
>During your inner monologue, you weren't paying attention to how far you've gone.
>The train station was right across the way.
>As you closed the distance to the ticket window, you spotted two ponies.
>Twilight and Rainbow Dash.
>They weren't aware you were nearby, and were having a chat as they walked together.
>Twi was eating a massive hayburger as she walked, because she's fat, and Dash was laughing.
>Whatever she was laughing at, it must have been pretty damn funny.
>She did that adorable thing where she flew upside down while dying of laughter.
"HNNNNNGHHH-"
>You pressed your hands over your mouth, silencing yourself.
>Dash and Twiggles both knew of your signature noises.
>Now isn't the time to blow your cover.
>You wanted to walk with them so badly.

>Would it be so bad if you just said hello?
>It's not like they could ever know exactly where you're headed.
>Before long, they were almost out of sight, and you caught yourself stretching an arm out to them.
>You've got to apologize to Dash about throwing your Knife(TM) at her, even if it was the dream verson.
>"Anon?! A-Are you following me or something?"
>A mare shouted to you from somewhere nearby.
>It sounded like it came from Trixie, as little sense as that made.
"Trixie?"
>"Over here!"
>You were looking everywhere but the ticket window, and that's where she was.
"What the fuck? Weren't you just at Taco Del Pone with Sassy?"
>"I-I got off work, and then I came here for my...um...s-second...job."
>Trixie didn't look so Great and Powerful(TM) at the moment.
>This must be super embarrassing for her.
>But it's funny as fuck for you.
>She must have clocked out at the EXACT same time you left, and then got here before you.
>Sassy must have dismissed her when she went back to the counter.
"By the way, I'm not following you. I'm just here to buy a ticket to Manehattan."
"And how many part-time jobs do you even have?"
>She looked ridiculous sitting in there with that big, dumb wizard hat on.
>"J-Just these two! I'm not struggling THAT badly!"
"Rrrriight. Of course you're not."
>You gave her an absolutely diabolical, dubious smirk.
>"You're enjoying this, aren't you?!"
"Yep."
>"Somehuman sounds like he doesn't need a ticket!"
"I'll get your manager."
>Her face practically shrunk as she leaned backwards defensively, eyes wide.
>"Forget I said anything..."
>Pulling the bag of bits out of your hoodie again, you tossed the whole thing to her.
"One ticket to Manehattan, please."
>"W-What's the meaning of this? Are you trying to insult me?"
"Just take it, Trix. I'm trying to be generous."
>"You don't have to do that! How many bits are in that bag?"
"Mmmm... should be 85 after what I spent at Taco Del Pone."
>"85?! I couldn't possibly-"
"Trixie, it's yours. Don't worry about me. I'm rich as fuck."
>Her magic took hold of the bag, and dragged it through the ticket window hole.
>"Anon, I..."

"Don't start crying on me, you big blue baby."
>"I-I was NOT about to cry! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not-"
>You raised your brow at Trix, giving her an incredulous look.
>"...Ahem."
>"Here's your ticket. The train should be here in about..."
>You could already hear it approaching before she even finished.
>Your timing is flawless, as always.
"Thank you, Ms. Lulamoon. I'll think I'll eat your ass later or something."
>"WHAT?!"
>Her reaction was so perfect that you instantly burst into laughter.
>You took a seat on the bench beside the window, just outside her field of view.
>"E-Explain yourself, Anon! This instant!"
>You've never heard her this flustered before.
"No... I don't think I will. Think I'll just sit here and wait until it's time to depart."
>"You don't just say things like that to a mare!"
"Why not?"
>"B-Because..."
"Go on?"
>You're enjoying this too much, but it's fine.
>You now realize just how good things actually were before that horrifying dream.
>Maybe seeing Blubbercry act like a monster from a horror movie triggered it.
>Her animalistic gaze every time you looked outside of the Rape Shelter(TM) didn't help.
>And you're never going to forget the way she ran after you.
>After a few more minutes of dealing with an embarrassed Trixie, it was time to go.
"Alright, Trix. Gotta' go. Hopefully your situation will change soon."
>"I'd hope so! The Grrrreat and Powerful Trixie has more important matters to attend to!"
"If there's anyway I can help in the future, let me know. Later."
>"You've helped enough already, Anon. Thanks..."
>It's always nice hearing actual words of appreciation from Trixie.
>You took a seat inside an empty train car, got comfortable, and looked outside a nearby window.
>With lingering thoughts about the events of that dream, you closed your eyes for a little nap.
>Applejack must be wondering where you are right now.
>The real AJ would never do something as heinous as dream AJ, you truly believe that.
>Eventually, you nodded off, snoozing while thinking about tradwife Appul Horse.

>Stupid Anon.
>How dare he say something like that so casually?
>It's just him trying to mess with you, the same as it ever was, but something was different.
>This time, however, it felt like he knew something you didn't.
>Have you made a terrible mistake of some kind?
>As you pondered Anon's actions in your Great and Powerful monologue, a yawn escaped your lips.
>Is this how it feels to be a common worker?
>That overflowing bag of bits would come in handy for bringing your stage tricks back up to snuff.
>Where did he get that kind of money from?
>Your eyes were watery from the repeated yawning; They kept trying to close themselves.
>Would it be so bad if you just took a quick nap?
>As long as your manager doesn't catch you, nothing could go wrong.
>You're only in for three hours today anyway.
>To look like you were awake to anypony coming by, you started napping while sitting upright.
>Unfortunately, your poor sleep has caused you to develop a snoring problem.
>About ten minutes had passed, and you were already in dreamland, talking to Starlight.
>You've missed her presence a lot while she's been away at the Crystal Empire for the past two months.
>Anon being around has made her absence so much more bearable.
>Even if you don't want to admit it, if Starlight is your girl crush, then Anon is your boy crush.
>There's something refreshing about him that you can't place your hoof on.
>He's always so nice, yet he's constantly getting under your skin, and he's so unpredictable.
>It's never boring around him, and if there's one thing you hate, it's boredom.
>A smile grew on your sleeping snout as you dreampt happily.
>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"H-Huh? Whuh?! How can I help you?!"
>Dear Celestia, please don't be your manager.
>Once your eyes readjusted, you saw that it was actually Fluttershy.
"F-Fluttershy? How nice to see you! Are you here to buy a ticket?"
>"You know why I'm here, Trixie."
"W-What?"
>"I tracked Anon's scent all the way over here, he was here, I know it."
"Tracked his scent? Are you... stalking him?"

>"Which train did he take? Start spilling the beans, or you're gonna' g-get it."
>You've never heard Fluttershy "demand" something of somepony before, not like this.
"Hmph. Your threats don't intimidate a pony as powerful as I."
>You're unsure why she'd be following Anon, but it doesn't sound like she's up to anything good.
>After your standoff, she flew in front of the window and turned around.
>Your pupils shrank as her rear end was pressed up against the glass, tail raised.
>"Don't make me come in there. I'll... I'll defile you if I have to."
>Defile you?
>Her wet mare bits were in plain view, as she took up the entire window.
"I-I repeat, your threats are empty!"
>To your absolute terror, she pried herself off the wet glass, and disappeared.
"W-Wait, where are you-"
>The door to the booth flew wide open; You shrieked as Fluttershy ran inside.
>"D-Don't say I didn't warn you!"
"FLUTTERSHY, WAIT! WAI-"
>Ignoring your cries, she tackled you to the booth's floor, knocking your hat off.
>Before you knew it, all was darkness.
>Fluttershy's flanks were seated firmly against your face.
>Her scent is incredibly strong, it's almost overpowering.
>And by Celestia, she's anything but petite. 
>How many pounds are on this pudgy mare's ass?
>You struggled underneath her, but alas, it was all in vain.
>Copious amounts of grool soaked your face as the surprisingly strong mare smothered you.
>"I've got all day, Trixie. T-Tell me... Mmmff... where Anon went."
>Between her words, she let out a moan of pleasure.
>She's not playing games.
>"I-I've got ways to make you talk."
>At all.
"MMMMMMGGHH-"
>"What was that? I-I couldn't hear you."
>For a moment, she didn't sound so threatening, only curious to hear your muffled words.
"MmmmMMHHH!"
>"Sorry, say it one more time?"
"MMMNNHTTNNN!"
>Fluttershy gasped, finally realizing what you said.
>"Manehattan?"
"Mmmhmm..."
>The yellow pegasus climbed off of you, and you could see the light of day once more.
>You coughed a bit, trying to gather yourself.
"N-Now, could you PLEASE tell me why you're looking for-"
>She was gone and out the door before you could even finish.
>You sat upright, looking stupid with Fluttershy's juices and musk on your face.
>As much as you hate to say it, that wasn't such a bad experience.
>There's seriously something wrong with you for enjoying that.
"Mother of Celestia, why me...?"

>Your feet hit the ground as you hopped off the train, and re-adjusted your satchel strap.
>You had to ask to the conductor to kindly stop and let you off.
>He obliged, so now it's time to start heading towards the camping spot.
>You're not very far at all, you can see the forest up ahead, as well as Neighagra Falls.
>"Bye, Anon. Hope you enjoy your trip."
>Maud, in her almost robotic tone of voice, said goodbye to you from inside the train.
>On your way up to the conductor, you spotted her looking out the window.
>There wasn't any harm in saying hello to her, so that's exactly what you did.
"Will do, Rocky. Maybe I'll drop by your farm one of these days."
"We can have a rock date. Y'know, to show me your rocks and stuff."
>"Sounds great."
>The train car door closed as you waved goodbye to Maud.
>It was time to get going.
>Last night, specifically your dream, was a bummer.
>A little more than a bummer, honestly.
>Almost all of your friends became Fluttershy 2, 3, 4, and 5.0.
>But after making a new friend, and doing something nice for Trixie, you feel significantly better.
>With a spring in your step, you started jogging towards the entrance to the forest.
>You and Spike knew that particular conductor pretty well ever since the last time you went camping.
>On the train's way back to Ponyville, you'll probably just do what you did last time.
>Coming back to the same tracks, waving as the train rolls by, and hopping onboard.
>Train conductors are such bros.
>After a few minutes of jogging, you were just outside the forest near Neighagra Falls.
>Rainbow has been making sure you stay in shape and it's definitely showing.
>You feel like you could run a marathon right now, you're so amped up.
>However, the last thing you should do is make a big fuss running around in the woods.
>For one, you don't want to alert every single nearby animal to your presence.
>You can't risk a repeat of the Everfree incident, even if these woods are much less dangerous.
>And two, you might seriously hurt yourself.
>If you remember right, the camping spot is at a fairly high elevation.
>You wouldn't want to accidentally trip up on a steep incline, roll, and get fucked up.
>Or die, for that matter.
>Rainbow would never recover from it.
>Also, if there's one thing your father made sure to pass on to you, it's that dying is gay.
>That old coot couldn't die even if he wanted to, he's just that stubborn.
>Kind of like you.

>The trek to the camping spot went about as normally as you expected it to.
>It's been a minute, but you think you remember the exact path to take.
>Similar to the way it was in your dream, the sky was overcast.
>That's not definitely not ominous or anything.
>The light drizzling of water droplets had already begun.
>The ground beneath you was wet, but far from muddy.
>Not yet, anyway.
>Reaching into your satchel, you pulled out a can of Meat-Substitute(TM).
>The lid came right off thanks to the convenient pull-tab.
>Your eyes were blessed by the delectable imitation meat therein.
>Like an insane person, you turned the can upside down and just started wolfing it down.
>It's so FUCKING GOOD.
>You couldn't stop eating the stuff even if you tried.
>The can was empty after a minute or two of chewing, along with some water from your canteen to wash it down.
>You're not a filthy litterer, so you shoved the empty can back in your satchel.
>Best fifteen bits you've ever spent, period.
>After hopping over a fallen tree, the all too familiar sound of rustling graced your ears.
>The momentary Meat-Substitute-induced joy you felt was cut short after hearing that.
>Like always, you whipped your head around to scan the area.
>Nothing.
>Pure silence.
>It was raining a little harder by now, and wind was beginning to whip at your body.
>Could have been a broken branch falling, or a little critter hiding from the rain or something.
>Still, the fact that you're feeling a breeze this strong is a little worrying.

>You're in a forest after all, a very thick one at that.
>It's nothing like the comparatively light winds you felt in the outskirts of Ponyville, during in your dream.
>This is much stronger.
>If there's a big storm coming, you, and this camping trip might be fucked.
>The storms in Equestria are absolutely ridiculous.
>Hopefully Spike is okay.
>And in a matter of seconds, you went from worrying about Spike, to worrying about yourself.
>Because something just crawled up your leg.
"WHA-"
>It's a fucking raccoon, an aggressive one at that.
"Shoo! Shoo, get the fuck out of here!"
>Swatting at it didn't do anything, and you couldn't get a hold of the damn thing.
>It was trying to get inside of your satchel, most likely to steal a can of Meat-Substitute(TM) from you.
>During your battle with the relentless trash panda, not much attention was paid to your footing.
>The raccoon suddenly hopped off of you, meanwhile, you had your back to a hill.
"OH! Shit, shit, shit!"
>The decline was sharp, so as soon as you lost your balance, you went tumbling down.
>On the way down, you fell through a few bushes, hit a few rocks, and much, much more.
>A tree eventually blocked your descent, but this was hardly a fortunate collision.
>Your back slammed into the trunk of the tree and your head was hit considerably hard.
>The world and everything in it was positively spinning.
>Your satchel rolled down the hill after you as your eyes started closing themselves.
>Coming here may or may not have been a horrible idea.
>Sleepy-time was upon you; You couldn't resist any longer as your muscles relaxed.
>You laid against the tree, unconscious, and getting rained on as the incoming storm developed.
>In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have opened up that can of Meat-Substitute(TM) when you did.

"AGH!"
>You woke up with a start, seemingly in an instant after passing out, and scrambled around.
>Your hands instinctively searched every nook and cranny of your body to check for damages.
>Somehow, you didn't feel any bruises, cuts, or anything like that.
>You didn't feel any pain at all.
>As a matter of fact, you felt quite unusual.
>Soon, you realized you were no longer in the forest beside Neighagra Falls.
>After looking around, you'd say you were in Canterlot Castle, on one of its many balconies.
>Standing on your feet, you looked up to see the moon shining brilliantly in the sky.
>Looks like it's night-time.
>Why are you here of all places, though?
>Were you dreaming again?
>"Hello, Anonymous."
>A voice belonging to none other than Celestia rang out from behind you.
>Once again, you whipped your head around to look.
>Your head is going to twist right the fuck off these days.
>It was indeed Celestia, cantering slowly towards you.
>You had a dumb, confused look on your face, but she looked as calm and elegant as ever.
>It's been one thing after another lately, back to back to back to back, and then some.
"S-Sunbutt?"
>She giggled in response to your rude, yet appropriate nickname.
>You'll never get used to her voice.
>The literal voice of a goddess, heavenly, and motherly.
>"You can never decide on one name to call a mare, can you?"
>"One day, your special somepony might get upset if they catch you nicknaming other mares."
"Pfft. Who said I was going to have a special somepony?"
>"Oh, I'm sure you will, Anonymous. You're quite the popular character."
"Yeah. A little too popular for my own good."
>"Better to have than to have not, don't you agree?"
"I suppose so."
>"And you are certainly not lacking in blessings."
>"You have a wonderful gift, Anon. I'm sure you'll find out what it is soon."
"Mmhmm, I'm sure I do."
"Also, what's with you types being so cryptic all the time?"
>"What type would that be, Anonymous? Am I your favorite?"
"You know that's not an easy question to answer, Sunbutt."
>"I see that my pupil has taught you a thing or two."
"Maybe you and her have too much in common, ever thought of that?"
>Once again, she merely giggles at your witty responses.
>Sunny D(TM) walked past you, her multi-colored flowing mane sparkling with magic.
>Or whatever the hell it is.
>As she passed you, you got a whiff of the most intense mare stench.
>Breathing that stuff in will surely drive you insane, so you promptly turned your head away.
>And it seems Twilight and Celestia have yet another thing in common.
>Fat horse asses.

>One can't stop eating burgers, and the other can't stop eating cake.
>"I can sense you staring, Mr. Anonymous."
>Every last one of these horses are cheaters, you swear.
"How am I NOT supposed to look? You ponies trot around nude all the time!"
"If you couldn't tell, public nudity is a crime where I come from, so..."
>"Still haven't gotten used to seeing bare flanks, I presume?"
>You're not a fan of where this conversation is going.
>Talking about flanks with the ruler of Equestria is doing things to you.
>Where is your self control when you fucking need it?
>Good thing this is probably a dream.
"Nope. I don't think I ever will, either."
>"There's nothing wrong with liking mares."
>"I must say, I've had my eyes on you ever since you came to this world."
"W-Why? Is there something special about me or something?"
"I'm just a regular guy; I wasn't even considered THAT attractive back home."
"Not that other humans thought I was ugly. I look good, goddamnit, but I'm no ten out of ten."
>Again, Celestia giggled at your words.
>"Perhaps your appearance is especially attractive to our species, then."
>She looked back at you with bedroom eyes powerful enough to blow a hole through your head.
>"If you'd like to know how a mare feels, go ahead. I won't stop you."
>Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

>You had to get away from her rear end. 
>You HAD to.
>It doesn't matter if you're dreaming.
>Now isn't the time to be getting seduced by Celestia.
>Walking up next to her, you looked over the balcony to see Canterlot below.
"T-Thanks for the offer, but, uh... I don't know if I can handle that."
"Although, it does feel nice to be admired like that; I won't lie."
>"Is that so? Do you feel the same way when mares take matters into their own hands?"
>Her words suggested she was aware of your current predicament.
>You sighed, hanging your head and placing your hands on the rail.
"Most of the time, it doesn't bother me. It's an everyday thing, y'know?"
"If anything, it's only a problem when my feelings are completely ignored."
"Or... if they resort to knocking me the fuck out. Or death threats. Can't forget about those ones."
>"Both Luna and myself have been keeping an eye on your situation for the past week."
"I figured. Last night, I saw the two of you in a dream."
"Luna winked at me, and then disappeared, along with you."
>"Hmm...Did she, now?"
>You don't like the way she said that.
>You turned to look at the large, white horse next to you, with an embarrassed look on your face.
>She's laughing.
>Again.
"That's not what I meant! Y-Y'know, for a goddess, you've got a dirty fucking mind!"
>"I quite enjoy how you speak to everypony equally, regardless of who they are."
"I'm sure you do."
>"What can I say? It's very amusing."
>Ponies tease and mess with you just as much as you do to them, it's poetic.
>Raising a hand to Dream Sunbutt's back, you started running your hands through her coat.
>She's absolutely right, but you like it that way.
>It's nice to interact with everypony equally.
>Celestia seemed to appreciate the contact.
>"You're rubbing the real, flesh-and-blood ruler of Equestria, you know."
>Wat

"HUH?!"
>"Perhaps I should have told you sooner, but this is no dream."
>"Your real body is elsewhere, and I'm communicating with you using an advanced spell."
>"The form you're currently occupying is one comprised of magic."
>"The manner in which you fell unconscious was humorous, might I add."
>You're hearing what she's saying, but you're too busy losing your shit.
>Actual Celestia, THE Celestia said all of those things to you?
>Your magic, ethereal cock is about to tear open a hole in your magic, ethereal pants.
>"Anon, your facial expression is very telling. Have you no shame?"
>"Of course, my offer still stands. I've been wondering what a naked human looks li-"
"CAN'T HEAR YOU! AH-AH-AH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
>You covered your ears, stepping away from the giggling sun goddess.
>This is too fucking much.
>You're just one human; You can only handle so much.
>And you'll be here with this damn horse for who knows how long at this rate.
>"My, what a reaction."
>Does this mean she brought you here just for this little chat?
>Curse this horny, magical talking horse.
"O-Okay, so, how do I wake my actual body up?"
>"Ask, and it shall be granted, Anonymous."
>"To tell you the truth, I was hoping you'd stay a bit longer."
"Jesus Christ, Celestia. We can do this later."
>"Oh? And what shall we 'do' later?"
"I fucking beg of you."
>"As you wish. I'll let you off easy this time."
>"When next we meet, do not expect me to give up so quickly."
>Her horn had begun to glow with that familiar golden hue.
>Your magical form faded away slowly, giving you enough time to wave goodbye to Sunbutt.
>Thank Celestia.
>Literally.

>It felt as though you were returned to your physical body.
>You returned in an odd state, and could only feel so much.
>Almost as if your senses were playing catch-up.
>Soon, you were plagued by a dull aching sensation in just about every single nerve.
>Your fingers twitched, your legs shifted, and your eyelids moved.
>Like a computer booting up, you were coming back to life.
>Slamming into that tree must have really fucked you up.
>Once most of your senses came back online, you could feel something lashing against your face.
>On second thought, dragging would be a better word.
>And your face felt wet, incredibly so.
>That could be because of the rain, but it wasn't the splishy-splashy kind of wet.
>It's more of the slimy-wimy kind of wet.
>The mere act of trying to open your eyes took a herculean amount of strength.
>When they finally opened, you saw something you weren't expecting in the slightest.
>The culprit was none other than a tongue.
>Fluttershy's tongue, to be more precise.
>Obviously, it was odd seeing her, as it implied that she followed you.
>But that's not very surprising.
>At the moment, you're still a bit dazed, and you lack the energy to really react to this.
>You have no idea how long had she been licking your face for.
>Strangely enough, it felt nice, amazing even, compared to the lingering pain from your fall.
>She didn't notice you were awake, so you ended up taking her slobbery tongue to the eyes.
"F-Fluttershy..."
>It took a lot of effort, but you raised your hand up to her, pushing her face back a bit.
>"O-Oh! Anon! You're awake!" Fluttershy looked like she was in heaven, nuzzling against your hand.
"God... damn..."
>It felt nice while it was happening, but now that she's stopped, your face just feels gross.
>That, and your clothes are damp.
>"Don't move too much, okay?"
>You moved your head enough to check your lower body.
>Your pants were still on, and nothing seemed to be out of place.
>That's a shocker.
>Did Fluttershy actually have enough decency not to defile you while you were unconscious?
>That's crazy.
>Pain surged through your head once more, pulsing much like a heartbeat would.
>To be fair, she did warn you.

"Anyway, mind telling me why you were licking my face while I was knocked out?"
>"I-I was only trying to wake you up, that's all. I promise."
"And should I even bother asking how you knew where to find me?"
>"Umm...Trixie told me."
>Trixie told her where you went?
>Why do you get the feeling something weird happened?
"Well, thanks for not raping my unconscious body. I appreciate that."
>Squirming with your back against the tree, you tried to get into a position where you could easily stand up.
>"A-Anon, let me help!"
"Silly horse. It'll take a lot more than that to keep me down."
>You were too distracted to realize it, but it's even darker than it was when you were talking to Sunbutt.
>The clouds over the area are blocking out a pretty good portion of the moonlight.
>Eventually, you got back on your feet and picked up your satchel.
>It's drizzling lightly, and the winds have died down, so you must have "slept" through the storm unharmed.
>Thank Celestia for that.
>"What were you doing out here in these woods?"
"Spike sent me a letter, told me to come meet him at our old camping spot at Neighagra Falls."
>"Spike? Hasn't he been away at the Crystal Empire?"
"He was, but now he's here. And he wanted me to come by myself."
"So... you being here kind of defeats the purpose of that."
>"Oh, sorry..."
"It's fine. I should have known better than to think I could have avoided you."
>"Y-You're not gonna' make me go back to Ponyville by myself, are you?"
"What? Of course not! Spike might not be happy about it, but I'm sure he'll understand."
>Speaking of Spike, you're not going anywhere in this darkness.
>You reached into your handy-dandy Satchel(TM) to pull out a small, electric lantern.
>This thing cost you at least three bags worth of bits, so you're glad it's still intact.
>It's a souvenir from a previous trip to Manehattan with Rarity.
>She had you try on all kinds of ridiculous bullshit while you were there.
>You'll never understand fashion.
>It turned on without a hitch, and the difference was like night and day.
>The lantern doesn't look like it would be very powerful, but it shines surprisingly bright.
>"B-By the way, is-
"No. Tongues are not my fetish."
>"Oh..."
>You had a feeling she was going to ask that.
>"...And I'm guessing you still know the way to the camping spot, right?"
"Oh, uh, yeah! Duh."
>You made one last check before walking off.
>Your trusty pocket knife was still in your right back pocket, and thankfully, it was retracted.
>Taking a knife to your ass during that slip would not have been fun, or pleasant.

>Your head continued throbbing, but the pain everywhere else was comparatively mild by now.
"I'm still a little woozy, but that's okay."
>As you held your head, it finally registered.
>This is the most respectful Fluttershy has been to you in a good minute.
>She's fetish guessing again, but other than that, this is a nice change of pace.
>Now if it would stay like that, that'd be swell.
"Come on, it shouldn't be too far from here."
>When you looked over your shoulder at Fluttershy, she wasn't following you.
"Uhh, Shy? What are you standing around for?"
>Nutter Butter wasn't responding.
>You didn't understand what was going on immediately, but it kicked in when you stepped closer to her.
>It's happening again.
>She's showing the same statue-like symptoms as before, when the two of you were in Everfree Forest.
>Your good friend, the Almighty Rainbow God-Emperor Beam Of Holy Protection(TM), suddenly exited your chest.
>More than likely, it was headed all the way back to Ponyville.
>Or more specifically, the castle.
>What in the flying fuck was really going on here?
>Are you even being "protected" at this point?
>Nothing was happening at all; She didn't do anything to you.
>You assumed this whole phenomenon with the Tree of Harmony started because it was trying to save you.
>Were you mistaken?
>Flashbacks of Fluttershy's Super Rapist(TM) mode hit you like a ton of bricks.
>This isn't good.
>This is totally not good.
>If she entered that state again, would you be able to handle her all by yourself?
>Is a simple slap to the face enough to wake her up?
>You ran through several possible scenarios in your head as quickly as you could.
>Twilight would be so proud of you if she could see the big brain calculations going on in your mind.
>For starters, you're still recovering from that fall.
>Secondly, it took both Twi's magic and Rainbow's strength to hold her down.
>And to your dismay, these clouds still haven't cleared. 
>If anything, it's getting darker and darker.
>This lantern would end up being the only reason you can see, and if you dropped it, that's game over.
>She has better hearing than you, maybe even better sight, and she can smell the SHIT out of you.
>The smell part is the most worrisome out of them all.
>Trixie didn't know EXACTLY where you were heading, only that you wanted to board the train to Manehattan.
>Which means Fluttershy flew after the train, caught your scent, and came all the way over here.
>Hiding from her is fucking impossible, and you're miles away from the castle.
>You've determined that you're basically fucked beyond all reason.
>Your best option is to meet up with Spike, so you'd better get moving.
>Fast.

>Running through the clearing, you almost fell flat on your face.
>Thankfully, your hands were quick enough to break the fall.
>Your lantern rolled along the forest floor, stopping in front of a log.
>You rolled onto your back, struggling to catch your breath.
>"Anon?!"
>The dragon you came here to see shouted your name, before running over to you.
>The pitter-patter of tiny feet drew closer and closer.
>"W-What's with the rush?!"
"No... time... start... talking!"
>You spoke inbetween heavy, labored breaths.
>"Start talking? What are ya' talkin' about?!"
>"Are you okay?! Did something happen?! I-I mean, you just got here! Don't you wanna'-"
"...The reason... you asked me to come here! Spit it out!"
"It's important... Isn't it?"
>"Oh. Right."
>It took him a moment to reply; His frantic and shocked tone was replaced with one of dejection.
>He stepped away from you, waddling elsewhere.
>After shutting up long enough to breathe properly, you rolled over onto your stomach.
>Since you weren't sure how much time you have before Fluttershy wakes up, you hightailed it over here.
>It's rather unceremonious of you to show up gasping for air and panicked like this.
>Unfortunately, it's out of your hands.
>You're not sure what Spike wants, but whatever it is, you're hoping it won't take long.
>With shaky legs, you got up and reached for your lantern.
>No cracks, no scratches, no damage.
>Good.
>"Man, you look like you've been through a lot." Spike remarked, sitting on top of a log.
>His words made you chuckle.
"Trust me, you don't know the half of it."
>Spike had an entire setup ready for the two of you.
>A log for both of you to sit on, a campfire with a roaring, and a green flame.
>Hell, there was a spit-roasted chicken over the fire.
>The tents were still in good condition even after you both left them here.
>Spike did a great job staking those to the ground; The storm hardly even moved them.
>You expected no less from your little dragon bro.
>Wait, he's got a spit-roasted fucking chicken?
"Wha... Spike? Did you...?"
>"What's the matter, Anon? Thought I didn't have it in me to hunt?"
>"You ARE talking to a dragon, after all."
>He had the most cocky look on his face as he admired his own claws.
>A wide, toothy grin appeared on your face, and you almost burst into laughter.
"You're a riot, you know that, Spike?"
>Stuff like this is why you got along so well with him.
>Even after hanging around all these ponies his entire life, he's still a dragon on the inside.
>One day, he'll grow up and become a Giga Chad(TM) just like you.

>The throbbing pain in your head was finally beginning to subside.
>A while after waking up, you feared you had given yourself brain damage with that nasty fall.
>Luckily, you're sturdier than you give yourself credit for.
>You could hear the rushing waters of Neighagra Falls in the distance.
>As dark as it was, you could faintly see them, too.
>There's something really magical about this spot.
>That's exactly why the two of you claimed it for yourselves.
>If you had a flag, you'd have stabbed it into the ground here a long time ago.
>But it's a shame you don't have a lot of time.
>You'd love to sit down and talk with him for hours on end until you both pass the fuck out.
>That ticking rape-bomb is still out there in the woods, probably at the exact spot you left her in.
"So... What's the deal?"
>Again, his demeanor changed when you got right to the heart of the matter.
>Something must really be bothering him.
>"Um, it's a little complicated." 
"Like, Twilight rummaging through books to find an answer to a centuries-old question, complicated?"
>"Nah. More like... emotionally complicated.
"Well? What is it?"
>"Err..."
>He was twiddling his claws, staring into the green campfire of his own creation.
"I don't judge, Spike. You know that."
>"Are ya' sure about that?"
"Okay, I know I make jokes with poor taste sometimes, but I'm serious."
"Tell me what it is, and I'll tell you about something I've been dealing with, too.
>"...It's a deal."
>Spike inhaled deeply, and exhaled, before looking you right in the eyes.
>"I-I've been thinking about leaving Ponyville. Maybe not for good, but..."
"That's it?"
>"Huh?"
"Spike, you're a fucking dragon."
"Frankly, I'm surprised you haven't distanced yourself a bit from ponies yet."
>"Ugh, I feel so stupid. I should have figured you'd say something like that."
"You're damn right you should have."

>"It's just that I've been wanting to, you know, broaden my horizons!"
>"Rarity said that to me a while ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since."
>"Remember that story I told you about the time I helped save the Crystal Empire?"
"Yeah? What about it?"
>"It made me feel... dependable! And... strong! And... independent."
>"And the others still see me as this... little baby dragon."
"Sounds like growing pains to me."
>"Growing pains?"
"The same thing happened to me when I was a teenager."
>"Really?"
"Yup. It felt like I was a big, strong man in a little boy's body."
>You turned away from Spike, looking into the cloudy skies above.
"Sometimes, I still see myself as that little boy."
"It's a part of growing up, that's all it is."
"Which brings me to my next question."
"Do you really want to leave Ponyville, or do you just want to speed up time?"
>"I... I think... I just want to speed up time."
>He looked defeated, but in a way that showed understanding.
>You walked up to him, and sat down on the same log.
"Listen, Spike. You're awesome. Just like me, just like Rainbow."
"You're gonna' live a long time, because from what I've read, you dragons live LONG lives."
"So, while you're young, just focus on setting up your future, yeah?"
>"Setting up my future, huh?"
"Yeah, one piece at a time. And if you want those ponies to take you more seriously, act like it."
>You stared into the green flames, thinking to yourself for a moment.
"I could use that advice just as much as you, honestly."
>Spike wrapped his arms around you, and you raised your arms in reaction, looking down at him.
>"Thanks, Anon. I knew you were the right guy to call."
"Any time, bro."
>The Dragon(TM) broke the hug, and started kicking his little legs as he sat with you happily.
>"On a side note, you remember Starlight, right?"
"Yeah, she's the mare Twi told me about. The one who almost ended the world."
>"Hehe... yeah. Listen, she told me she'd be coming back from the Crystal Empire soon."
>I know you love meeting ponies, so I figured I'd tell you."
"Can't wait. Twi thinks her and I would get along, so we'll see."
>"Oh, almost forgot! What were you going to tell me about in exchange?"
"Oh... Uh, Fluttershy is somewhere in the woods, and she's about to come rape me."
>"She's gonna' WHAT now?!"
>Spike was sufficiently taken aback from the sudden tonal shift.
"She's about to come rape me. A lot has been going on while you've been up there in Crystal Land."
>"L-Like what?"

>Over to your left, you suddenly heard a murder of crows cawing from afar.
>Having the satchel around you would only get in the way, so you dropped it.
>Reaching inside of it, you pulled out every can of Meat-Substitute(TM).
>You handed Spike two of them, and held two in your own hands.
>"Anon? Is this... fake meat?"
>You were too busy staring into the darkness behind the trees to answer Spike.
>Sweat started to roll down your brow; Your previous adrenaline had been reactivated.
>She's coming, and she's here for you.
>But not Spike.
>You don't want him getting caught up in this incoming shitstorm.
>With Spike's campfire lighting the area, you don't have to worry about your lantern.
>You can take her.
"Spike, go hide in the tent. Take the cans with you."
>"Hide?! Is Fluttershy coming?"
"Hurry up!"
>"O-Okay, I get it!"
"If things go south, I want you to throw those cans at her as hard as you can!"
>Spike hopped off the log and ran into one of the nearby tents.
>You hopped off the log yourself to face the pitch-black darkness of the woods.
>Holding a can of Meat-Substitute(TM) in the air, you were ready to throw it at a moment's notice.
>Her Rape Field(TM) is absolutely massive; You can feel it from here.
>And not a moment later, Fluttershy ran out of a bush, darting straight for you.
>You yeeted the can of fake meat at her as hard as you could.
>It hit her square in the head, bouncing off of her, and she tumbled onto the ground.
"S-Stay back, Fluttershy! Don't make me do this!"
>Even after taking a large, metal can full of food to the head, she got right back up.
>The look in her eyes was fierce, and she seemed to be much more resilient this time around.
>She wanted cock, and she needed it now.
>You tossed the second can of meat, hoping you'd nail her in the head again, but you missed.
>Or more accurately, she dodged it.
>By flying.
>DEAR CELESTIA, SHE'S EVOLVING

>Your stupid, human brain isn't equipped to handle flying predators.
>She darted at you once more, this time, with increased speed thanks to her wings.
>You frantically pulled your Stabby-Stabby(TM) out, but the craziest thing happened afterwards.
>Fluttershy took it in her mouth and flew off with it, before throwing it into the woods.
"M-My knife...!"
>You couldn't possibly have seen that coming.
>Why was she so smart all of a sudden?
>Her having all of that strength, speed, and intelligence isn't fair!
>The flying rapist performed a quick U-turn, and you had nothing but your bare hands.
>She slammed right into your chest, knocking you to the moist forest floor and pinning you.
>It felt like something had just been broken, but you didn't stop struggling.
>"Just... ACCEPT ME, ANON!"
"NO!"
>You tried to punch her, kick her off, push her, or anything else, but it just wasn't happening.
>Super Rapist(TM) deciding to grow a brain really threw a wrench in your plans.
>Fighting off a mare this sexually enraged was already too much.
>If she manages to free Anon Jr. in any way, shape, or form, that's good game.
>GG No re.
>You'll be cumming buckets until you fucking die.
>You'd love it if Spike started tossing those cans right about now.
>She got fed up with your squirming, and decided enough was enough.
>"Hold still! Quit MOVING!"
>Fluttershy spun around, presenting you with a view that incited an instant flashback.
>The last moments of your run-in with the fake, dream Twilight plagued your thoughts.
>Despite raising your arms in defense, the course of Fluttershy's ass wasn't affected at all.
>In layman's terms, she sat down right on top of your stupid head.
>To say that this has made breathing difficult is an understatement.
>Blubbershy over here is far heavier than you thought; You're practically drowning in a sea of yellow pudge.
>Her mouth went straight for your zipper, too.
>As you struggled to breathe underneath Nutter Butter, you felt your mind beginning to slip.
>Because you aren't just trying to fight off Fluttershy.
>No, no, no.
>Anon Jr. is equally as formidable, and he's never on your side when you need him to be.

>Every male ancestor in your bloodline would be proud of the erection you're sporting right now.
>It may be physiologically impossible to ignore the Collector's Edition Horse Pussy(TM) on your face.
>And of course, who could possibly forget about the Deluxe Ponut(TM)?
>Anon Jr. was freed from his prison, and Fluttershy resumed the hot dog eating contest from last week.
>Your hands were on her flanks, and you could definitely continue struggling against the Throat Goat(TM).
>Maybe shake her around, squirm about, or try to toss her off.
>You did none of those things.
>It was as if some alternate version of you, one with no restraint whatsoever, took control.
>Obviously, that's a load of shit.
>You were simply falling victim to biological desires.
>Excuses like, "it's not that bad", or, "you tried your best", filled your mind.
>"F-Fluttershy, what's gotten into you?! Didn't you hear what he said?!"
>It sounded muffled, but you could tell Spike was shouting at her.
>She didn't get off of you, nor did she forfeit the hot dog eating contest.
>In that moment, you thought about how lame you must look right now, getting dominated like this.
>That's okay.
>She's about as strong as three Applejacks, so you can't really stop her, anyway.
>After that, you thought about what Twilight would do if she were here to see this.
>There's a decent chance she'd find this hilarious and laugh, but that's not the only thing she would do.
>She'd use that powerful magic of hers to help you out.
>"No... means no!"
>A resounding metal clang echoed throughout the forest, and you can assume Spike tossed a can at her.
>She didn't stop.
>Hell, she didn't even slow down.
>It reminded you of how persistent Rainbow was in that dream.
>Even after getting left in the dust, she STILL followed after you.
>She didn't stop trying.
>"You're supposed to be friends!"
>Again, Fluttershy was this close to winning the competition.
>She'd be rewarded with a taste of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing(TM).
>However, what Spike just said brought you back from the brink.

>You and Fluttershy are supposed to be friends.
>Even if she does things you don't approve of sometimes, you have to accept her for who she is. 
>You don't have to like the rape, you just have to accept it.
>When she first started to show early symptoms, even though they were mild, you started avoiding her.
>How bad did that avoidance make her feel?
>Didn't she JUST ask you to accept her?
>After Fluttershy froze for the second time, you questioned what the Tree of Harmony's intentions really were.
>Now, you finally understand.
>It was trying to get you to understand how your avoidant actions were driving the two of you apart.
>By turning Fluttershy into a Super Rapist(TM) that would aggressively hunt you down, no less.
>That's a cheesy way to interpret it, and it's still weird how she can't enter the castle.
>Maybe there's some metaphorical shit you're not understanding, but thinking about it hurts your brain.
>Something was obviously wrong with her, but you continued to hide inside your Rape Shelter.
>Meanwhile, she essentially suffered in silence and raped Pinkie for a week straight.
>And even before all of that, she was about to let wild bears maul you, just for some cock.
>Your reaction back then was pretty justified, but things should never have gotten to that point.
>To be honest, you deserve this.
>She may be a rapist, but you've been a bad friend to her, and you resent that.
>After realizing your mistakes, you lifted Fluttershy's butt off your face enough to be able to speak.
"F-Fluttershy, I accept you!"
>Almost instantly, she paused her ministrations. 
>Thank Celestia she did, because you weren't going to last much longer.
>"You... what?"
"I accept you! I'm sorry for running away, and hiding, and avoiding you, and being a piece of shit!"
"I've been treating everypony fairly except for you!"
>Just as your tired arms were about to give, Fluttershy flew into the air.
>Your lungs felt like they were full of rocks.
>Spike ran over and kneeled down next to you, panicking.
>"Anon! Are you hurt?! Oh, there's no way you're not hurt, not after that! Show me where it-"
"Spike. Relax."
>"Hehe... Sorry. I'm just worried."
"I know, I know."
>"Oh, and... you've got a little something in your face."
>"More like a lot of something really, but..."
>Of course.
>Mare Juice(TM).
>"H-Here, let me get something for that. I've got a towel in my tent somewhere."
"Spike, I don't know how I feel about having you wipe Fluttershy's-"
>It's too late. 
>He was already running off towards the tent.
"Goddammit."

>Fluttershy landed next to you, leaning over your face.
>"Do you really mean that, Anon?"
"Yeah, I mean it."
"From now on, things will be different, okay?"
"I'm finished ignoring you; That'll never happen again."
>"N-No, it's my fault."
>"Now I understand what kind of things I've been doing whenever I blank out."
>"You probably think I'm a monster!"
>She looked absolutely miserable, and that makes you upset.
>You should be the one crying your eyes out, not her.
"No, no, no..."
>You raised your hand to touch Fluttershy's face.
"I left you alone in the woods, frozen like a statue."
"Twice now! Okay?! Twice!"
"And I should have told Twilight what really happened even sooner than I did!"
"Instead of waiting an entire week to tell her like an... idiot."
>You just can't stop getting fucked up, can you?
>Along with that tackle to your ribs, you hurt yourself pretty badly struggling against her.
>It was getting harder and harder to talk.
"You're not some... thing I need to run away from, or a monster!"
"You're Fluttershy! My friend! If only I started acting like it sooner..."
>"Oh, Anon."
>Fluttershy nuzzled into your hand, just like earlier.
>"Found it! I knew that towel was in there somewhere."
>Spike returned from his tent with the towel, before taking some time to dry your face off.
>"You know, you two look pretty good together. Maybe you should-"
"Shut up."
>"I'm just messin' with you, Anon."
>"By the way, Fluttershy, I don't think I've ever seen you like that before!"
>"You were all like, WHAM! BAM! ZOOM!"
"Spike."
>"Sorry, sorry..."
>"W-Were we fighting?" Fluttershy looked over the campsite, spotting all of the meat cans laying about.
"I 'guess' you could call it fighting, but-"
>Some of them had burst open after making contact with her surprisingly thick skull.
"Wait, you're not hurt at all?"
>"No. I feel just fine, actually."

>This horse is something else.
>You felt an urge to get up and hug her, but your chest is fucked.
>For now, it looks like the ground is your resting place.
>Without a warning, your body tensed up as a powerful feeling washed over you.
>It was similar to the feeling of Mr. Rainbow coming out of you, but stronger.
>"Goodness, now that you mention it, something doesn't feel right."
>Not a second later, you came rainbows out of your chest.
>Lots of them.
>Fluttershy did too, and the rainbow beams rose up into the sky.
>The clouds were pierced and parted, allowing you to finally see moonlight again.
"GOD-"
>Did it have to come out of your chest?
>"Whooaaa, awesome!"
>Spike was enjoying it like a fireworks show, meanwhile, you were tearing up from the sudden pain.
>When the beams finally stopped doing their thing, you clutched your chest.
>"Anon, w-what just happened to us?!"
"We came... rainbows, Fluttershy. We came rainbows."
>That may have signalled the end of this little friendship problem.
>"Fluttershy! Anon! Spike! What the hay just happened?!"
>You could have sworn you just heard Rainbow Dash nearby.
>"S-Spike?"
>Twilight's voice graced your ears as well, so it looks like you're not crazy.
>The two of them flew over the campsite, with Twilight landing, and Rainbow remaining in the air.
>"Man, am I glad you two showed up! Anon is hurt pretty bad!"
>"Ummm, Anon and I had a fight..."
>"Y-You're not lying! There's meat cans all over the bucking place!"
>Rainbow hovered above you to look at your sorry condition.
>"A-And... is that your... C-COCK?!"
>Dash was a stuttering mess, her pupils as tiny as pinpricks, blushing profusely.
>This is a little awkward, considering she's never seen Anon Jr. before.
"D-Don't look, bro! Pretend you didn't see it!"
>"I-IT'S A LITTLE TOO LATE FOR THAT!"
>Twilight stifled yet another one of her infamous, inappropriately timed laughs.

>"The other girls were asleep, but Dash and I were at the castle wondering where you've been all day."
>"That's when the map started showing Fluttershy's location, so we flew over as fast as we could."
>That sounds about right.
>As long as Fluttershy was following you, there's no way this camping trip could've been a private affair.
>"Yeah, you totally missed our lunch date, bro!"
"Sorry, but... Spike wanted to see me. Privately."
"I tried to respect that as best as I could."
>"I see. What did you want to see him for, Spike?"
>Twilight walked over to the little guy, putting a hoof on his head.
>"Oh, y-you know, just a top secret meeting between bros! You wouldn't get it."
>"Uh-huhhh..."
>Grand Autismo sounded pretty skeptical, as usual.
>"And you, Fluttershy!"
>"M-Me?"
>Fluttershy practically shrunk as Rainbow pointed a hoof at her.
>"What's been going on with you, lately!?"
>"Why did you follow Anon all the way out here, beat him up, and..."
>Her little heart wasn't brave enough to finish that sentence.
>"W-Whatever else you did! I thought you were just having one of those crushes again!"
>"But this?! This is messed up, Fluttershy!"
>Butter Horse looked like she was moments away from bawling her eyes out.
"Rainbow, don't..."
>"What do you mean, 'don't'?!" 
"She didn't mean it. It turns out there really was a 'friendship problem' going on."
"But, it's mostly my fault. I haven't been staying by her side to help like I should have."
>"How is it YOUR fault if she RAPES you, for Celestia's sake?!"
>She finally said the word.
>Rape(TM).

"Sometimes, Dash, you've gotta be the bigger... uhh... man. Pony. Whatever."
"Regardless of what she's done, all I've done for the past month, or even longer, is avoid her."
"I kept hoping and thinking about 'fixing' the friendship, when all I needed to do was 'accept' her."
"How would you feel if I purposefully started avoiding you?"
>"W-Well..." Rainbow had hung her head, sounding somewhat defeated.
>"He's right, Rainbow. You saw the way Fluttershy was acting yesterday. That wasn't normal." Twilight added. 
>"Yeah, you're right... Sorry for snapping at you like that, Fluttershy."
>"I-It's okay, Rainbow." Fluttershy replied, flying into the air and hugging Dash.
>"And I was too distracted with my books to take this more seriously. Ugh!"
>"Sorry, Fluttershy."
>"Don't worry about it, Twilight. Everything's okay now."
>Autism Supreme and Yellow Ted Bundy approached each other to share a hug.
"Just blame me for that one, Twi. I was dismissive as hell."
"Remember? I waited an entire week to tell you what really happened in those woods."
"You might not have taken it as seriously because I was acting like it was just her 'time of the month'."
"Even after I found she raped Pinkie for a week straight, I didn't-"
>Did you just tell them about that?
>You totally didn't mean to tell them about that.
>Oh dear.
>"SHE DID WHAT?!"
>"I did... what?!"
>Rainbow's voice hit maximum volume, Spike was blushing, and Twi was trying so hard not to laugh.
>Fluttershy looked horrified, ashamed, and another emotion that you can't quite place your finger on.
>Not going to lie, it was a little funny to see Pinkie all deflated like an empty balloon yesterday.
>You're such a shit friend.
"F-Forget I said that, yeah?"
"Can you guys help me up? And, uh... put away Anon Jr. for me?"
>"D-DO IT YOURSELF!"
"See, I'd love to, but I'm having some difficulties moving at the moment."
"You're not scared, are you? It's not gonna' bite you or-"
>"J-JUST STOP!"
>She looked away from your junk, but you still caught her peeking out of the corner of her eyes.
>Anon Jr. is a very powerful being.
>Even now, he's still making your ancestors proud.
>"I'll do it, Anon."
>And Fluttershy was approaching him.
"U-Uhh... maybe it'd be best if Twilight used her... JESUS, DON'T BITE IT-"

>You tilted your head as far up as you could manage, fearing for Anon Jr.'s safety.
>She took him in her mouth once more, somehow managing to put him back behind bars, where he belongs.
>Even now, you'd rather not have Fluttershy anywhere near your hot dog, but that's okay.
>This is the way it's meant to be.
>She's your little rapist, almost like a pet.
>Still, could she have at least used her wings instead?
"D-Did you have to use your mouth for that? Oh, never mind."
"Thanks, Fluttershy..."
>Your words trailed off as you thanked her in an exhausted tone of voice.
>"No problem, Anon."
>F-FLUTTERSHY!"
>Rainbow was livid, Spike was still blushing, and Twilight looked curious more than anything else.
>"That thing sure is extra sensitive, huh?" Twi sounded like she was taking mental notes on human genitalia.
"Can we all just go back to Ponyville?"
"Pretty sure I need some kind of medical attention for this chest wound, something might be broken."
>"S-Sorry again, Anon."
"Apology accepted."
"Anyway, don't you have a teleport spell that can take us back, Twi?"
>"I was just about to get to that."
>Suddenly, Fluttershy gasped loudly, and you tilted your head in reaction.
>"S-Spike! Did you kill that chicken?"
>"Uhh... yes?"
"Cut him some slack, Shy. He is a dragon, y'know."
"Don't you feed your animals fish and stuff like that?"
>"Yes, but not chickens..."
"Oh well, fuck em'. Survival of the fittest."
>"Anon!"
"What?"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zSHz7Thvbc
>"BAAAAHAHAHA-"
>Rainbow keeled over laughing, as did Twilight, and Spike eventually joined in, too.
"Heh..."

>"W-What's so funny?"
>Your chest wasn't happy about it, but you couldn't help but chuckle.
>Her questioning only made it funnier.
>"Ohhh, Celestia! That's too much..." Twilight got back up, wiping her excessive tears away with a hoof.
"Hey... Spike, mind holding my satchel for me?"
>"Aye-aye, captain! Wait... I'd better grab my bag and stuff, too."
>Tip-tap, tip-tap, went the sound of tiny little dragon feet.
>Seeing him grab your satchel reminded you of something.
"Ugh! I just realized!"
"Almost all the meat substitute is FUCKED!"
"And my knife! Uggghhh..."
>You groaned, voicing your frustration.
>"You sound more worried about those than yourself." Spike said disappointedly, holding your satchel.
>"I'm just glad you're okay, bro!" Rainbow must have been worried sick when you missed lunch.
>After all, you haven't missed a single lunch date ever since you started having them with her.
>"Alright, Twilight! Fire up that spell!" Rainbow shouted, pointing a hoof at Book Horse.
>"Working on it! Stand close, everypony!"
"Can't move."
>"O-Oh, right, sorry... Everypony, stand by Anon!"
>Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Spike all corralled around you, waiting to be teleported.
>Twi's horn illuminated the campsite, the lighting of her purple magic fusing with Spike's green-lit campfire.
>You felt something of a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
>Not from the magical energy gathering around the five of you, though.
>It's from a feeling of satisfaction; The kind you feel after doing the right thing.
>What'll it be like spending time with Fluttershy again, you wonder.
>You'd have plenty of time to think about that while you rest.
>In less than a second, you were teleported miles and miles away, along with the others.
>Having such a drastic change in environment leaves you dizzy every time.
>It's not the first time Twilight has teleported you somewhere.
>The last time, it left you a vomiting, disoriented mess.
>A mess that you had to clean up, of course.
>"Is everypony alright? What about you, Anon?" Twi asked, checking to make sure everything is in order.
"Well, I don't feel like throwing up my breakfast, so..."
>Your gag reflex triggered as soon as you finished talking.
>"Maaaaybe you should take it easy on the talking for a sec', bro."
>After Rainbow spoke, a mighty yawn escaped her fast horse mouth.
>"Twi... you mind takin' over and watching him for me?"
>"I've got Wonderbolt practice in the morning and I'm beat."

>"Don't worry, Dash. I'll take care of him."
>You're not sure if a fan of the way she said that.
>"Don't go dying on me overnight, okay? I'll swing by RIGHT after practice, bro!"
"Later."
"Oh, and sorry for throwing my knife at you."
>"Huh? What the hay are you talkin' about? Did you hit your head or something?"
"Yeah... you could say tha-
"OUUEEUUGH-"
>"I warned you, didn't I? What am I gonna' do with you, huh?"
>"Anyways, good luck, Twi."
>"Good night, Rainbow Dash!" Spike happily chimed, waving goodbye to her.
>"B-Bye Rainbow." Fluttershy was staring at your chest, probably thinking about the damage she did.
>Rainbow said her last words, before zooming out of the castle.
>"I would appreciate it too, Twilight."
>"I'd stay for a while, but I have to go feed the animals, and it's getting pretty late."
>"No problem, Fluttershy. I'm used to Anon hanging around the castle by now, so this is no different."
>"Speaking of which, Spike, do you mind getting my bed ready for Anon?"
>"Okay! On it!"
>Spike, carrying your satchel, as well as his own camping bag, ran off into the hallway.
>He's much stronger than he lets on, for such a little guy.
>Fluttershy started leaving as well, heading out the double doors.
>"Good night, Anon. Get plenty of rest, okay? I'll come by in the morning."
>Nutter Butter looked back to say goodbye to you as she walked, her plot in plain view.
>Bad Anon.
>Bad.
>Stop looking at horse ass.
"Uh-huh. I'm sure I will."
"W-Whoa!"
>All of a sudden, Twilight's magic lifted you into the air, bringing you with her.
>"Come on, big guy. Let's get you in bed."
"Please don't fucking drop me."
>"I wouldn't dream of it; What kind of mare do you take me for?"
"The fucking with me type."
>Twi giggled playfully as she carried you off to her bed.

>It would be funny if accepting one rapist meant accepting another.
>Because Twilight is being exceptionally saucy today, and you're worried for your safety.
>If Anon Jr. is woken from his restful slumber again, you're not accountable for what happens.
>As Twilight levitated you down the hallway, you contemplated what to do first after you recover.
>At the current moment, you're drawing a blank.
>"Thinking hard up there, Anon?"
"Hmm... you could say that."
>"You're acting just a liiiittle bit unusual."
"Let me guess. I'm more talkative and social than this?"
>"Thats... exactly what I was going to say. Word for word."
"So much has been happening lately, y'know?"
"It's got me thinking about stuff I normally wouldn't."
"I'm worried I might turn into you if this keeps up."
>"Turn into me? What's that supposed to mean, hmm?"
"A nerd."
>"Something tells me that's not what you meant."
"Nope, that's exactly what I meant."
"Twilight Sparkle."
>"Anonymous."
>Twi gave you a playful look, sticking her tongue out at you.
>She brings something out of you, and you bring something out of her.
>As far as you know, she doesn't act like this constantly with anypony else.
>It's never a dull moment with Autism Supreme.
>That little exchange reminded you of something.
"Hey, Twi."
>"Hmm?"
"Were you worried about me?"
>"Uhh, worried about you when?"
"No particular time. Just in general."
>"Are you okay, mister? And I'm not talking about your injuries."
"Answer the question, Oh Purple One."
>"Of course I am!"
>Twilight seemed thoroughly confused by your question, no shocker there.
"Good. That makes me really happy, Twi."

>"There's something you're not telling me. Start talking."
"What, is it so wrong to ask a question like that?"
>"That's not a question friends normally ask each other out of the blue, Anon."
>"Maybe you should brush up on some of my friendship lessons."
"I'm gonna' brush up on you."
>That sounded about a million times better in your head.
>"Oh? When?"
>Shit.
"Forget I said anything."
>"Twilight, one. Anon, zero."
"W-We were competing?"
>Twi laughed heartily at your reaction, and her magic wavered for a moment.
"T-Twi. Please."
>"I won't drop you! Quit worrying so much."
"You telling me that is rich."
>This conversation is everlasting.
>One of you, doesn't matter who, always has a witty retort cocked and loaded.
>After that playful chatting, Twi finally brought you to her room.
>It wouldn't surprise you if she purposefully walked slower this entire time.
>Spike left your satchel right by the bed, ready and waiting for when you'd need it.
>"Alright, momma's gonna' tuck you in."
"You're enjoying this way too much."
>"It's not often that I have you to myself like this, let me enjoy it."
"Not often? What about the entirety of last week?"
>"This time is different, Anon."
>Twi levitated you over to her bed, laying you onto it.
"Not sure if I like the sound of that."
>Twilight stood up on her rear hooves, placing her front hooves on the bedside.
>"You're lucky you're injured, Anon."
>"There's something I've been wanting to test out."
"You can test out a hug, if you want."
>"A hug? Not much experimenting to be had there, Mr. Human."
"Purple horse hug human. Hug human now."
>"Alright, alright..."

>Twi wrapped her hooves around you, mostly the neck area, to avoid putting pressure on your chest.
>You brought a hand to her mane, scritching behind her ears.
>Her ears flicked up and down; Your inner 'HNNNNGH' was in full force.
>It only grew stronger as she pulled back from the hug, looking you right in the eyes.
>You've never had her this close to you before, not like this, at least.
>This is exactly what you needed at the end of that dream.
>"Well?"
"Got what I wanted."
>"Are you sure that's it?"
"If there's something else YOU want, feel free to speak up, Ms. Sparkle."
>Your eyes widened as Twilight leaned in, pressing her lips against yours.
>After a few, admittedly awkward seconds, she pulled away.
>It took your brain a few moments to fully catch up.
>That's the first time you've ever kissed a pony, and it was weird.
>But you know, it's nothing serious, really.
>Save for the fact that she's just shoved her horse tongue down your fucking throat.
>The sudden act shocked you, but you didn't want to show her your nerves, so you simply pulled back.
>A horse of this nature would surely use that against you; You've got to do better.
>Especially after the weakness you displayed to Celestia.
"Couldn't control yourself, you little sperg?"
"Last time I checked, you don't just kiss your friends out of nowhere."
>Your unwillingness to lose lets her get away with all kinds of things.
>This is definitely one of those times.
>"Wow. No compliments or anything?"
"Eh. I've had be... Let me not finish that sentence."
>You've fallen right into her trap.
>Foolish, foolish Anon.
>"Go on." Twi replied, giving you the world's deadliest bedroom eyes.
>That face could fucking kill.
>For an egghead, she has no business looking this good.
"Ahem... Anyway, what are we going to do about the whole possibly broken ribs thing?"
"I'm guessing I'm due for the Ponyville clinic in the morning."
>"Actually... the clinic has been closed for a while."
"For a while? How long has it been?"
>"About... four days now."
>"There was an accident, something to do with chemicals, I think."
"Fuck."
>"Luckily, Nurse Redheart wouldn't mind coming by to treat you herself."

"Really? Surely, she's got other-"
>"Anon, trust me, she would jump at the chance to help you."
>"She's been dying of boredom for the last few days."
"Hmm... sounds like she's been chatting you up."
>"I've been dropping by her home whenever I can, just to say hello."
>"Before that accident, I was helping her... 'x-ray' a few patients."
"The way you said that made it sound like something unorthodox."
>"No, no, It's nothing like that."
>"I just scanned over their bodies with my magic, and told her what I saw."
>"That's probably what I'll end up doing to you in the morning after I bring her over."
"As long as you don't accidentally zap me with magic."
>"If I zap you, it'll be on purpose."
"Twi, that's a terrible thing to make a joke about."
>"I'd never hurt you, Anon. You know that."
>You felt a soft coat and snout as Twilight cuddled her face against yours.
>That dream did a number on you in more ways than you can count.
>Would you have accepted this much affection from horses before?
>Would you even consider getting involved with a horse?
>You acted as if you weren't planning on it when Celestia brought it up.
>That's completely true, though.
>You aren't, but It's sort of... happening.
>Which begs the question, who do you have such feelings for at the moment?
>"No petting this time, hmm?"
"What are you, a cat?"
>"I'll raise my flank in the air if you want."
"Out."
>"It's my room, Anon."
"Get-"
>"Okay, okay, I'll get back to my studies. I wasn't ready to sleep anyway."
"You WILL be getting some sleep tonight, though... right?"
>"Nah. As soon as Redheart and I finish looking you over in the morning, I'll head straight to bed."
"Alright, Twi. Don't overdo it. You remember what happened the last time you didn't get sleep."
>"Aww, are you worried about me, Anon?"
"Begone, Purple One."
>Purple Intelligence finally took her leave, heading back to her treasure trove of books.
>You're not sure if you'd survive sleeping in the same bed as Twilight.
>You'd be lucky to get even a wink of sleep through her constant teasing.
>Closing your eyes, you relaxed your muscles and took a deep breath.
>Today was probably one of the most eventful days since you've been in Equestria.
>You're not sure if you'd prefer it to stay that way or not.
>You breathed your last conscious breath for the night, and passed out.