Originally uploaded to Pastebin: January 10th, 2013
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>Day 230 in Equestria
>Feel something heavy land on your chest
>Wake up and gasp
>The Mane 6 are stood around your bed, with Pinkie Pie on your chest
Pinkie.
>"Anon"
>She grins at you
Don't say it-
>"WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH!"
FUCKIN-

>DAY BEACH EPISODE IN EQUESTRIA
>You lean your head against the window of the train carriage while the rest of the Mane 6 chat happily
>Rainbow Dash takes a seat next to you
>"Soo uhh. Anon! Do they have beaches where you're from?"
I lived by the coast. Yes they have beaches.
>"Cool! Maybe we could play some beach volleyball!"
Oh, no thanks. I don't play that anymore
>Not since the accident
>Mental images of fire and screaming children fill your mind
>Shudder
>"Oh. Well don't worry, Anon. We'll find something for you to do!"
>Grunt and get back to watching the trees and sights fly past the window
>You listen to the ponies talk about anything and everything for about an hour
>Before you put your own head through the glass in frustration, the train pulls into a station
>Pinkie Pie squeals excitedly
>"OHMYGOSH! WE'RE HERE! WE'RE HERE!"
>You do a quick prayer to Jehovah before following them off the train and onto the platform
>The sun glares down upon you and you see heatwaves rising from the platform
>A bird flies out of the shade and into the sun, where it promtly sets on fire and falls onto the platform as a freshly cooked minature chicken-like object
This shit's bananas.
>"No it's not! It's a train station!"
>Pinkie Pie giggles at her hilarious joke and bounces off the station towards the beach
>You whistle 
>It's one hell of a beach
>Stretching for a mile each way, gorgeous white sand and a glistening blue sea greet you
>You take off your shoes and march onto the sand, despite the sun's rays, the sand is pleasantly warm, and softer than the finest sugar through your toes
>Smile
>Today's going to be a fine day
>Your leg suddenly feels sticky and warm
>Look down
>Fluttershy is grinding and panting against your leg
>Today's going to be a foul day
>Kick her away and head towards the sea
>Rarity trots by your side
>"Now, Anonymous. I hope you have appropriate swimwear!"
>Realise that you don't
>You were actually dragged out of your bed 3 hours ago and thrown onto a train in your pajamas.
>Fucking ponies
>At least you sleep with your shoes on
>They called you mad
>You called it preparation
>You get to comfortable distance away from the water's edge and lie on your back, enjoying the feeling on the sand around you and the moist dripping on your face
>Sigh
>Open your eyes
>Fluttershy is leaning over you, drooling
Do you mind?
>"Y-you too"
>Push her away and carry on sunbathing
>Rarity throws down a mat
>And an umbrella
>And pays a nearby beachboy to fan her
>"Isn't this marvellous, Anonymous?"
Yeah, it's pretty sweet. Good weather, good location, good... uhh...
>Watch Fluttershy build a sand dick-castle and grin at you
...Friends...
>Rarity smiles
>"All in all this should be a fabulous day out. You should go for a swim, dear!"
I'm fine, thanks
>She lets out an immature groan
>"Pleeeeeaaase?"
Fine, god.
>You stand up and head towards the sea
>"ANON!"
>Look back
>Rarity is livid
>"You can't swim wearing that! Take it off! You've got to take the train ride home in that!"
>Glare at her
>She grins back
>Look around
>The entire beach is now looking at you
>Dead silence
>Seagulls have landed and are now staring
>A pony in a miner's kit emerges from the sand, takes off his goggles and also begins staring
>Twilight peers over the edge of a book
>Rainbow Dash is sat up and grinning
>Applejack nudges her stetson up her forehead to get a better look
>Pinkie Pie is trembling with excitement
>Fluttershy is masturbating inside a small fort she made around herself, shielding her bottom half from view
You people are crazy
>A brown pony takes off his shades and glares at you
>"What do you mean, "You people?""
>A slighly lighter brown pony snaps his head back to look at him
>"What do YOU mean, "You people?""
>Take one final look around the beach and sigh
I'm in hell.
>Take off your shirt
>The beach cheers and ponies start crying with happiness
>Ignore them as best you can and pass a group of war veterans on the way to the water
>They're clapping and wiping tears from their eyes
>"You did good, son. You did good"
>You wish you were back home. This beach is too loud.
>Walk into the sea and swim out as far as you can
>Swim out to a bouy and lean against it, looking back at the beach
>Pinkie Pie has started a "Creepy Alien took of his Shirt" party
>You don't understand this place at all.
>Close your eyes and enjoy the warmth of the water
>Feel something nudge your leg
>God you hope it's a shark
>Look down
>Worse
>Fluttershy bursts out and gasps for breath
>"Helloanonlookslikeyouandmeareoutherealone!"
Say that again without sounding like a mentally handicapped person
>"Umm... W-want to do it behind this bouy?"
Do what, talk about politics? Religion?
>"S-sex"
But Fluttershy. I'm asexual.
>"W-what does that mean?"
It means I reproduce via spores. And that when I do eventually reproduce, another Anon grows off me then falls off, going away to live his own life.
>"Really?"
No, you fucking retard. Go back to your musk-castle and leave me in peace. I just want to enjoy the water
>She frowns
>"T-that wasn't very nice, Anon..."
I didn't intend for it to be. Go away
>She doggy paddles back to the beach
>Rest against the bouy, kicking your legs in the water
>See a large fin appear ahead of you, speeding towards you fast
Oh thank god!
>You eagerly await the sweet embrace of shark-death when a hideous creature of unfathomable horror burst out of the water where the fin was and peers at you
>Some kind of disgusting shark/pony hybrid is staring at you in awe, it's 4 eyes blinking at the same time and it's mouth hanging open, revealing several rows of razor sharp teeth
>"W-wow... What kind of c-creature are you?"
I'm a human. What the hell are you?
>"H-hi, human... I'm Swimmershy"
>Your inner-Luna makes a brief cameo
Art thou taking thine piss?
>She then dissapears for the whole day, but she'll show up again later all of 3 seconds.
>Fucking inner-luna
>"S-so what do humans like to talk about?"
Oh, you know. You eating me. You should eat me. Quickly.
>Swimmershy gasps
>"Oh no, I couldn't do that!"
>She blushes
>Somehow
>"I-I think I'm in love with you!"
>Stare at her
>Look back at the beach
>Fluttershy has erected a life-sized model of you, complete with giant penis and is praying to it
>Look back at Swimmershy
>She's nudging your crotch
>Slap it
Stop that. And also stop being in love with me.
>"I-I can't help it! I fell in love the moment you took your shirt off!"
Seriously.
>"Yes! Come with me back to my watery home! We can m-make love and have lots of spawn together!"
>You think of shark tits
>Shake your head
>It's just not the same
Sorry, but I'm not available
>She/It looks sad
>"Oh... Ok... Who are you dating?"
>Think of a cunning plan
>Grin
>Drape your arm over the shark-thing
>The water gets a hell of a lot warmer
>Gross
>Point at Fluttershy on the beach
>She's now sucking off the statue's sand-dick while tourists take photos
See that delightful creature?
>"Y-yes?"
She owns me. And human uhhh, law, dicatates that those who kill my partner become my new partner.
>Slap her on where you think it's arse is
Off you go!
>The shark takes off like a bullet towards Fluttershy, who was right next to the water. Had to be, to create her statue out of wet sand
>You swim after it at a leisurely pace, chuckling
>Watch as the shark lauches itself onto land at Fluttershy and drags her back into the water, kicking and screaming
>Pass the brutal melee and walk out of the water onto the beach
You're doing great, Swimmershy! Keep it up!
>Lie back on the sand, and let out a content sigh
>Rarity speaks up
>"Uhh, Anon? Why is Fluttershy fighting a shark?"
>Sit up
>Fluttershy and the sharkpony are rolling around on the sand, Fluttershy covered in blood and the shark covered in deep cuts
>Both are screaming at the top of their lungs and proclaiming their love for you
>Shrug
Dunno. I think the 'heat' just got to them both
>Chuckle at your incredible sense of humour
>Rarity sighs
>"You're never going to get laid"
>You spend the rest of the afternoon watching Fluttershy fend off a horror from the deep
>Some jocks had built a ring around them, and were taking bets
>You bet 5 bits on Swimmershy
>Both creatures showed amazing stamina in the face of death and fuelled by their love for you
>To your disappointment, Fluttershy manages to fight her off and send her running back to the ocean
>Swimmershy shouts over her shoulder
>"I'LL GET YOU SOMEDAY, ANON!"
>You grimace and hand the betting jock your money
>He didn't ask where you got it from, since you didn't bring a bag
>It was hammerspace, you swear
>The sun heads towards the horizon and Twilight decides to call it a day
>The rest of the ponies agree and you all head back to the train
>You carry Pinkie Pie, who got so drunk she passed out
>Applejack carries Fluttershy, who looks quite dead from the horrific injuries she sustained from fighting a shark
>She'll be fine
>You all board the train and you place Pinkie Pie next to you, her head resting on your lap and snoozing gently
>D'aww
>Look back out the window
>Today was interesting
>Silence for a while
>The trees skim past and you sigh happily
>Despite everything, being dragged out your house against your will, being forced to remove your shirt by an entire beach, having a creature from the deeps fall in love with you, sending said creature to maul your rapist and taking bets on said fight
>It was a pretty cool day
>You get home at about 8 o Clock and are so tired that you just walk upstairs and get into bed
>You enjoy the warmth of your pillow and reflect back on the day
>Fluttershy took one hell of a beating
>You don't know whether you should be scared of proud of her
>In any case, you're glad to be back home
>Silence
>Your eyes bolt wide open
>Feel a raspy breathe on the back of your neck
>Slowly turn over to face it
>A shark looks back at you
>"HELLO, ANON! NOW WE CAN HAVE OUR SPAWN TOGETHER!"
A POX UPON THOU, DAMNABLE SWIMMING-SHY!

The End















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ALTERNATE ENDING FOR THE FOLKS THAT LIKE WET-MANED PONIES
----------
>You enjoy the warmth of your pillow and reflect back on the day
>Fluttershy took one hell of a beating
>You don't know whether you should be scared of proud of her
>In any case, you're glad to be back home
>Silence
>Your eyes bolt wide open
>Feel a raspy breathe on the back of your neck
>Slowly turn over to face it
>A shark looks back at you
>It's wearing a blonde wig, which is soaking wet, causing strands of hair to stick to it's slimy skin
>"HELLO, ANON! NOW WE CAN HAVE OUR SPAWN TOGETHER!"
A POX UPON THOU, DAMNABLE SWIMMING-SHY!

The End.