>It had been a bit of a long day at the metaphorical office for you.
>When you first arrived in Equestria, you were shuffled off under Fluttershy’s care almost immediately due to the townsfolk declaring you an “exotic” animal before you could get a word in edgewise.
>Thankfully though, the mare realized right away that you were as sentient as any of the other ponies in town. 
>Since then, she had been letting you stay with her while she taught you basic veterinarian skills. You really couldn’t complain. She was nice company and the work wasn’t too hard.
>But today was a bit of a different story. The local ragamuffins Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom had decided to try to figure out if any of them were specially gifted in animal training, and that whole ordeal went about as well as one could expect.
>So the bulk of your day was spent putting band-aids on boo-boos and kissing ouchies. You even got to work with a grizzly bear, who was as docile as a kitten as you wrapped a bandage around its head. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t pee a little when it first stumbled through the door, however.
>It was so strange to live in a world where everyone could fall from dizzying heights and smack face-first into the ground before popping right back up with only a mild headache to show for it.
>Although you learned the hard way that you were still very much mortal when Rainbow Dash accidentally collided with you one time, knocking a few teeth out and shattering your jaw in the process.
>Luckily the ponies of Equestria were not only impossibly durable, but also could wield powerful magic, and fixed you right up in no time at all.
>You still had to endure a pain worse than you could ever imagine for a few days afterwards though.
>Currently you’re waiting in line at the local bank with a small sack full of golden coins to deposit into your account.
>It’s impressively busy for a Thursday, but you don’t really have much going on when you get back home. Fluttershy’s already gone to bed and you’re pretty wiped yourself.
>But then a familiar voice sounds behind you.
>”Hey there, Shiny, how goes it?” the shrill voice of Love Lock sounded out from behind you.
>You put a hand on your face and slowly dragged it down, before you took a deep inhale and tried your best to be cordial.
“Hello… Love Lock,” you stated as neutrally as possible as you turned around to face her. “Wonderful weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
>Love Lock was a conjoined twin. Her two heads were split pretty neatly down the middle, 
>”It sure is! And it’s so lucky that they let you out of your pen to enjoy it with the rest of us!” the left head responded with a chortle.
>Both had “joked” that you were an animal who needed to be locked up multiple times before.
>You always took it with a stiff upper lip though. Not that you didn’t want to fire back, mind, it’s just that you had never been good at confrontation or asserting yourself.
>At one point you thought about signing up for a local minotaur’s self-help sessions to overcome those issues, but Fluttershy told you rather bluntly that the man was a total sham.
>Once again you bit your tongue as you mulled over the best response you could give to get her to leave you alone.
“Aaaaaah, I forgot how funny you could be Love Lock. So, were you needing to talk to me about something? It’s been a bit of a long day, and I’d really love to just get down to brass tacks so I can head home and relax.”
>”Oh no, nothing important at all! I was just checking in to see how my favorite zoo exhibit was doing!” the right head responded. “Looks like they’re feeding you enough, that’s for sure,” the left chimed in with an ugly snort.
>By this point, the other ponies in line had started shuffling around in place, clearly uncomfortable by the scene going on in front of them. 
>Your tolerance for the abuse was waning thin as well, and your lips pursed as you fought back a string of insults. 
>”Ma’am, could you please step away from the line if you’re not here to make a transaction?” one of the stallions in line finally chimed in. “You’re starting to bother all of us.”
>A general murmur of agreement rang out from the other customers, and Love Lock’s face burned red for a moment.
>”Fine. Fine! I’ll see you around then, Anon-y-moose!” the right head stammered out, before she turned away from you and scurried off.
>You had made the mistake of talking to a few of the townsfolk about some of the animals that inhabited your world, and that somehow got back to Love Lock.
>Whether she just thought the pun was funny or whether she genuinely didn’t know that you were actually a primate was unknown to you.
>Regardless, you sighed, and turned back around in line.
>The mare in front of you, however, looked over her shoulder and looked up at you with a bit of puzzlement.
>”Why do you let her get away with that?” she questioned. “She’s not exactly well-liked around here to begin with. If you told her to leave you alone, everypony else would have your back.”
“I’m just not a big fan of confrontation, y’know? It’s easier to just let it slide than it is to tell her to stop.”
>She softly tutted a few times in response and her expression saddened.
>”I very much hope those feelings change soon,” she stated. “You don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” 
>The teller called for her to approach his register immediately after she made her assertion, and the conversation ended.
>You mulled it over for a bit, realizing that she was right, but still a rock formed in your throat every time you pictured calling Love Lock out.

>It took you about an hour to walk back to Fluttershy’s place. Not that you minded, the night sky in Equestria was absolutely gorgeous.
>Fluttershy had told you about how she helped purify what was effectively the goddess of the moon when she first met her friends, and that the reason the mare was corrupted in the first place was because no one appreciated the work she did.
>As the heavenly bodies twinkled and comets soared through the sky above you, however, you failed to understand how anyone could take this marvel for granted.
>Maybe just seeing the wonders of the night every day numbed their effects, you thought to yourself. You certainly weren’t impressed by the phone you used on a daily basis, even though it took several millennia of collecting knowledge before humans invented it.
>THUMP
>You had accidentally ran into the cottage door while you were lost in thought. Good job Anon, you thought condescendingly.
>As you stepped to the side to open the top frame safely, it swung open, and a small yellow pegasus now stood in view.
>”Oh! Hello Anonymous!” she greeted, her voice quiet while still showing excitement. “Why did you knock instead of just coming in?”
“I’d rather not talk about it,” you grumbled in response. “Say, didn’t you hit the hay after we wrapped up earlier?”
>”Angel got hungry and woke me up, so I made him a quick snack while I wound down again.”
>You peaked over her head and back towards the kitchen. The white bunny’s ears were the only thing visible over a huge pile of hay, lettuce, and chopped-up carrots that had been stacked up on a plate in front of him.
”Riiiiiiiiiight,” you commented after successfully managing to suppress an eyeroll. “Well, mind if I come in then?”
>Fluttershy then swung the bottom frame open and gestured for you to come inside. You had to duck in order to clear the arch, and even inside your head nearly touched the roof.
>After kicking off your shoes and grabbing a glass of water, you sat down on the couch and started loosening your tie.
>”Oh, by the way, you got some mail today,” Fluttershy stated, pushing a few envelopes your way.
“Thanks Flutts,” you responded, picking them up. One was an invitation to a small royal gathering in Canterlot (oh so NOW Sunbutt wanted to treat you like an actual person), one was an advertisement for the Flim Flam brothers’ newest contraption that could style one’s hair in seconds (now with only a 30% failure rate!), and the last was a hand-addressed letter to you.
>You paused for a moment before tearing the top off the envelope and opening the paper inside. Inside was a poorly drawn scene of ape inside an enclosure, with a very crude pile of excrement beside it while a handful of ponies stood around the railings and laughed at the creature.
>And the ape was a very sickly green color with a black question mark plastered in the middle of its face.
>You sighed as you crumpled the paper up, and walked over to the trash bin.
>”Are you alright Anon?” Fluttershy asked as she watched you sulk.
>You hadn’t ever told her about your bullying situation, nor did you plan to. One because you didn’t want to worry or upset her after she had been so nice to you, but also because you (very foolishly) thought that she and the other Elements of Harmony would turn Love Lock into stone or something like that.
“It’s nothing,” you said dismissively. “Just some dumb spam mail about my non-existant waggon’s non-existant extended warranty.”
>”Oh! You should keep that letter and report it to the mayor’s office Anon. Maybe it can help her root down the cause of all those scam ads!”
>You chuckled as you deposited the paper into the wastebasket.
“Nah, they’re never gonna track those people down. Trust me, I dealt with scams like that all the time back on Earth. Now, wanna watch Wheel of Fortune?”
>The pony's eyes went wide as did her smile, and she started squirming in place as you sat down and grabbed the remote.
>The god of chaos, Discord, had pulled some dimensional shenanigans to get a fairly nice TV set up at Fluttershy’s place, complete with a fairly extensive cable package.
>You didn’t question it though. The dude could turn roads into wet soap and make it rain chocolate milk for Celestia’s sake. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say.
>The pegasus loved game shows more than anything, though you often had to keep the sound turned down fairly low to avoid startling her.
>Why TV audiences are so loud you’ll never know.
>The mare snuggled up to you as the show’s title was announced and Pat Sajak came on screen to do his usual announcer bits, and you started gingerly petting her mane.
>The two of you used to watch Jeopardy! together, but after Alex passed away she couldn’t make it through the opening melody before bursting into tears.
>So this became your replacement.
>She made it about two-thirds of the way through the episode though, before she was snoring beside you.
>You smiled and paused the episode while you carried her off to bed.
>Even miniature miniature horses still weighed a ton though, so you struggled a little bit as you climbed the stairs.
>After tucking her in and closing the door, you headed back downstairs to unwind yourself.
>As you sank back down into the couch, you groaned long and hard, before picking up the remote to start channel-surfing. 
>You didn’t quite feel comfortable though. As you tilted a little bit on Fluttershy’s sofa, you noticed it felt oddly warm and… squisher than before.
>”Lying to your friends now, are you?” you heard the familiar voice of Discord sound from underneath you. “That’s low, even for me!” 
>As you barely suppressed a yelp, you leapt back off the piece of furniture, and breathlessly turned around to see Discord’s entire body contorted in its shape.
>He then slithered off onto the ground, and then suddenly appeared behind you.
>”If I were you, I’d have long ago given that two-headed snake what-for.”
“Not all of us can wield unfathomable destructive magic Discord. I have to deal with this like a normal person.”
>”But you’re not even doing that! That’s the entire problem!” the draconequus fired back. “You’re practically thanking her for walking all over you! Here, this should fix your problem lickity-split.”
>A puff of smoke fired off where Discord was once standing, and two of him appeared right in front of you.
>Though one of them had the body of a pony with a second neck and head sticking out of one side.
>Both sets bore the god’s normal appearance.
>”Hey there monkey man!” the visage of Love Lock taunted in a shrill voice to the “proper” Discord. “Did they feed you your banana yet today?”
>”Hello there four-eyes,” the normal Discord responded. “Did it take both of those brains to come up with that crack?”
>The fake Love Lock then dramatically burst into tears, and scurried out of the house while Discord smugly looked at you.
>”Just need to push the right buttons Anon, and she’ll be out of your hair forever.”
>You couldn’t help but cringe at the display, not just because it was poorly acted, but just at how cruel it was.
“I really think you should enroll in a couple semesters of Twilight’s school if that’s how you think problems should be resolved. That’s just cruel.”
>”And she’s not cruel to you? Has she ever said a single nice thing about you the entire time you’ve known her?”
>You didn’t have a response to that.
>”Trust me kid, you do this one thing, and you won’t have to deal with Ms. Twinnie ever again. Now, I need to go prepare for tomorrow! I’m replacing the sugar-free ice cream and chocolate syrup in Celestia’s sundae with regular versions of both!”
>With a mad cackle, he vanished into nothingness, and you couldn’t help but smile.
>The tyrant who nearly brought Equestria to its knees once now spent his days pulling small pranks on its residents.
>But, he may have been right. Going for Love Lock’s metaphorical throat(s) may just solve your issue. But you couldn’t stoop to her level.
>...Could you?
>You turned off the TV and climbed up the stairs to your own bed, suddenly exhausted from today’s events.

>The roads that wound through Ponyville were starting to become cluttered with brightly colored leaves. 
>Autumn was just now getting entrenched in Equestria, and it was a fairly doozy one at that. 
>You even had to wear a jacket and scarf outside today.
>Luckily you had found a facsimile of coffee in Equestria, so while the cold wind nipped at your face, your steaming brew flooded you with warmth.
>Fluttershy had sent you out today to pick up some pet food.
>Not the hardest job in the world, but she wanted to keep stock of so much that it made transporting all the bags back to her place a minor annoyance. 
>There’d been more than one occasion where a couple things tore open and the pellets that all fell on the ground tripped you up.
>You cringe as you remember those times.
>After pausing outside of Daisy’s store, you decided, against your better judgment, to stop inside and pick out a small bouquet of flowers for Fluttershy.
>The thought of storage of course crossed your mind, but that was something for future Anon to worry about.
>You gave the pink mare a hearty thanks and continued on your way for a little while, but then you spotted Love Lock up ahead, sulking as she mosied on towards you.
>You quickly looked around for places to hide, but she spotted you too quickly, and her mouth curled into a cruel smirk.
>”Hey! Look who it is!” her right head called while trotting over to you. “How’s our Jolly Green Giant doing?”
>With a sigh, you turned back to face her, and readied yourself for today’s bout of insults.
“Hello Love Lock. To what do I owe the pleasure today?”
>”Oh no, the pleasure’s all mine! After all, I have the privilege to see my very own freak of nature almost every day!”
>You could feel an eye twitching slightly, but you didn’t dare let your temper overwhelm you.
>Gotta keep up appearances. Can’t make too much of a fuss.
“Charming as ever Lovelock,” you replied in a deadpan tone. “I very much hate to cut this short, but Fluttershy’s expecting me back at her place with some bags of food, so I’d love to head over to Kibble’s and pick some u-”
>”Oh, is that who the flowers are for?” the left head questioned. 
“Uh- oh, yeah. They are. She’s been a real peach ever since I got here, so I figured getting her these was the least-”
>”Do you really think she’d fall for such a weirdo like you, Anon?”
“...Beg your pardon?”
>Love Lock cruelly snorted, and her lips curled open to reveal what you’d swear were fangs if you didn’t see them up close.
>”I mean, it’s noble that you’re trying to win her heart Anon, it really is. But she’d most certainly rather be with another pony. Not with some tall, bald ape like you!”
>You couldn’t hide the disgust and anger as it flashed across your face, but you pressed your thumb and index finger to your forehead, and squeezed it as you tried to calm yourself down.
“I’m not trying to woo her…” you started, very much struggling to keep your teeth un-gritted. “I’m just trying to be ni-”
>”Here, lemme just take those off your hands,” the right head finally chimed in. “I’ll save you the embarrassment of being rejected, because I’m just that nice~”
>Both heads then clamped down on the hard plastic holder surrounding the bouquet, and you started tugging.
“Hey, stop! Let GO!” you shouted, as you tried to pull the flowers back.
>Ponies started crowding around, watching the display in shock and concern.
>You could feel your face burn bright red, both from anger and embarrassment, as you continued to struggle with the conjoined twins.
“Love Lock this is insane! Give me those back!”
>The pony merely growled something in response, as she took a few steps back, dragging you along with her. 
>You tried your best to dig your heels in, but horses had a lot of power behind those joints, even if they were smaller than average.
>Finally, the pony gave one final yank of the casing upwards, sending you bolting into the air.
>Time seemed to slow down as you soared above the crowd, their expressions all turning to fear.
>You knew the coffee cup was no longer in your hand at this point, though you didn’t quite care where it was. All that mattered to you was the deafening silence around you, save the pounding of your heart in your ears, and the rush of wind hitting your face as you plummeted towards the ground.
>You heard your arm snap before you felt it. Adrenaline rushed through your body, which dissipated the pain entirely. But you knew by the way you landed that it was broken.
>And then the cup of still steaming coffee, lid completely off at this point, splashed across your face. And the pain exploded through your body.
>You screamed in agony as the hot liquid bubbled and burned at your face. You could feel the blisters starting to form along your cheek, and a sharp pain racked your arm.
>It felt like you laid there for an eternity, your body naturally curling up from the agony you were in, but the concerned voice of Twilight Sparkle somehow managed to penetrate your ears as she galloped towards you.
>Tears flowed down your cheeks as you felt the warm, familiar sensation of her magic wrapping around your arm, and then you heard the bone snap back into place.
>The coffee vanished off your face, and the blisters that you felt forming eased back down and no longer protruded off your face.
>But you were still in a lot of pain.
>You tried to sit up on your broken arm, and it nearly gave out on you as you applied pressure on it.
>”Here Anon!” Twilight said, floating a bottle of liquid in front of your face. “Zecora has been working on this since Dash hit you. It should hopefully stop the pain.”
>You switched which arm was propping yourself up, and took the vial out of the air, though the entire limb was trembling as you brought the potion up to your lips.
>An intense heat shot through your body, but soon it was replaced by a small throbbing numbness in your face and arm.
>You pushed yourself off the ground, and pressed a hand against the side of your head.
>The flesh beneath felt… odd somehow. And it was incredibly tender.
“Can I get a mirror?” you grumbled, barely above a whisper. One was floated over to you, and as you stared at it, you could see a significant portion of half your face was now scarred.
>Luckily the coffee only scalded you, so it wasn’t a proper burn wound, but you were by all definitions, disfigured. 
>A ringing sensation filled your ears as your anger bubbled and boiled under the surface, and you could barely hear Twilight scolding Love Lock.
>”Now see here miss! I don’t know who started this whole fiasco, but catapulting Anon like that was grossly out of line, and deeply irresponsible! I’ve never seen-”
“WHAT is your DAMAGE?!” you finally screamed, eliciting a collective gasp from everyone around you.
>Even the princess of the concept of friendship itself looked back at you in utter shock.
>Your head quickly snapped over to Love Lock, whose legs were quivering and whose eyes begged for forgiveness as she stared up at you in fear.
>You were too irate to care at this point.
“I have been trying my damndest to be nothing but polite and cordial to you the entire time I’ve been here. I’ve ignored the insults. I’ve exchanged pleasantries when you approached me. I’ve even tried giving you gifts! And WHAT do I have to show for it? An impromptu skydiving lesson, and a FUCKING scarred face!”
>You’d made it a point to not swear ever since you arrived in Ponyville. Not like any of the tiny animals around you understood it anyway, but it was the principle of the thing.
>Clearly  Love Lock understood the implications of your words as well, given how her pupils had shrank to little dots.
“Every day I get to be called a monkey, a freak, a monster, and a zoo exhibit by the ugliest mare I’ve ever laid eyes on! I get to see the fruits of the labor of two half-witts coming together to brainstorm ways of tormenting people! I get to see god’s greatest mistakes sulk around, wondering why everyone hates them, and then I get to experience them taking that angst out on me. Newsflash ladies! Everyone hates you because you’re fucking assholes! You make everyone around you MISERABLE. And frankly, I doubt anyone would shed a single tear if you were found dead in a ditch somewhere tomorrow morning.”
>The jaws of many of the ponies around you had dropped open near the start of your speech, and Twilight’s was no exception. 
>Love Lock, on the other hand, just looked blankly at you for a moment. Then tears started tugging at both sets of eyes, and she sprinted off away from the crowd, loudly sobbing as she did so.
>Twilight looked back at you in bewilderment, completely at a loss as to whether she should scold you or comfort you.
>Despite everything, an intense pang of guilt shot through your heart, and you clenched your jaw as you mulled over what to do.
“I’m gonna go… try to find her,” you finally stated in a flat tone. “See if she’s okay.”
>Twilight mumbled a vote of approval while nodding, and you started to set off.
>”Wait, Anon,” she called, and you turned back around to look at her. “I… can’t say I agree with everything you said. But I understand why you said it, and I don’t think any less of you for it. Good luck.”
>You nodded in response, and started searching high and low for the conjoined twin.
>It didn’t take too long to find her, though she did pick a decent hiding spot in a cave off the beaten path. But she was still uncontrollably sobbing.
“Love Lock?” you said as you peered into the darkness. “You in here?”
>The sobbing quieted some, but it still slightly echoed off the cave walls.
>You ventured into the cave proper, and saw the pony sitting off to the side along one of the branching paths.
>As you approached her, you leaned up against the wall, and waited for her to calm down a bit before talking.
>She was the first one to say anything, however.
>”We’ve been tormented our entire life, Anon,” the right head said, wiping all eyes with her hoof. “Do you know how hard it was to look the way we do while growing up? It was non-stop Anon… non-stop teasing and name-calling, and hitting, and… and..” her voice choked up as a few more tears rolled down her face.
“So then I was the scapegoat,” you noted. “Someone else came along that stuck out worse than you did, and so you took out those years of aggression on me.”
>The left head nodded, and both let out a sniffle.
>”That doesn’t make up for anything we’ve done though. We’re sorry Anon. We’re really, really sorry.”
>You drummed your fingers against the wall for a moment, mulling over what you should say, though the guilt in your conscience was tugging you a certain way.
“Alright, alright, I forgive you,” you finally stated. “That doesn’t make us friends, granted. But I do forgive you.”
>”The left head slightly whimpered, but the right nodded.
>”We don’t expect you to be our friend right at this point. But… thank you. We’d love to work on making this up to you somehow. Anyhow, really.”
>Your mind immediately jumped to some kind of sexual favor, and you chuckled at your impulse.
>Sex with a horse, what were you thinking?
>”What? What’s so funny Anon?” the right head asked in an obviously hurt tone.
“No! No no no, it’s not like that. I was thinking something stupid. I wasn’t laughing at you or anything.”
>Still, both of Love Lock’s heads pouted at you in response, and the pony took a step towards you.
>”C’mon Anon! We’ll do anything to make this better, no matter how silly or stupid it may seem!”
>You frowned slightly, trying to think of a good way to worm yourself out of this situation, and ultimately coming up with nothing.
“Well then would you be willing to give me a blowjob?” you finally blurted out.
>Both sets of cheeks blushed deeply and both faces wore the same utterly shocked expression. 
>Your mouth curled into a grimace as you felt your own cheeks warming
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just sexualization of any given scenario is a big thing back where I come from, and It’s something I used to joke about a lot with the people I hung out w-”
>A hoof slammed into the wall behind you as you tried to choke out the last of your sentence, and the left head coiled closer to you as it wore a smirk.
>”You’re a pretty sick pervert Anon~ Wanting to bone an innocent little pony like me~” she stated, as she ran a hoof down your thigh. “Don’t worry though, I’m more than happy to be your mommy for a little bit~”
>Sex with a horse started seeming less and less like a stupid idea.
>However, your eyes narrowed as you grabbed her hooves and held her away from you.
“No, no. If we’re gonna do this, I’m taking control,” you commented, as you shoved her to her hooves and grabbed her left head. 
>Both sets of eyes went wide, and she started pushing against your thighs.
>”Wait no!” the right head said. “I’m not doing this! Either you let me dom, or I walk away.”
>She gasped as you unzipped your fly and shoved her left mouth into your crotch, and started thrusting against it.
>Her left head started giving muffled protests, while her right head started trying to jerk away.
>”Stop it you freak!” she shouted. “What is wrong with you?! Let me go!”
>You could tell her resistance was faltering slightly, however, and her left head opened her mouth just enough to let you shove your cock inside.
>Her body continued to try to pull away as her right head continued to insult you, but you barely noticed as you eagerly started fucking her face.
>Her tongue slid around your cock as she obediently kept her mouth open, but behind the compliant display her left pair of eyes stared daggers up at you.
>You smiled, and drove her head into your crotch as you hilted and exploded inside her mouth.
“Yeah, you like that dont you, you little whore?” you grunted as she struggled to swallow your seed.
>The right head looked at her twin in horror, while the left head coughed back up a bit of your love while she stared up at you in ecstasy.
“Not a bad start,” you commented, as you gripped around the pony’s midsection. “But I think we can do more~”
>You then spun her around and roughly yanked her tail up, before you started rubbing against her pussy.
>A small trickle of her love spilled out as her other lips winked at you, and she stamped in place indignantly. 
>”Anon, stop!” her right head cried while her left continued panting. “That’s more than enough! We’re even!”
“Oh, I very much disagree,” you commented maliciously, as you rubbed your cock up her slit. “We have months worth of abuse that needs to be repaid.”
>”A-abuse?” her left head managed to sputter out, before you jammed your cock inside.
>Both sets of eyes went wide and both sets of mouths gritted their teeth as you started savagely fucking her.
>Her cruelty and insults were almost an afterthought at this point. You were just hungry for more.
>”A-a-a-a-anon s-t-t-t-t-op…” the left head rambled out in time with your thrusts, while the right head was lost in moans and cooing, despite her best efforts.
>Her pussy gripped and squeezed your cock as you neared your second climax, and the two of you came together before falling to the floor in a slump.
>Your hands fell to your sides as you panted and gasped, all while Love Lock snuggled up beside you 
>She wrapped a leg around your arm and you squeezed her hoof with your hand.
“I think we’re gonna have to do this more often for you to really atone for your behavior,” you taunted as you rested your head on both of hers. 
>You could only feel her nod in response as the two of you basked in each other’s company.