Originally uploaded to Pastebin: May 30th, 2013 --- Holy shit, this story. I wrote this back on the 31st October 2012 for the Halloween Flutterrape thread. So it's an old one. A lengthy archive search brought it back to me, since I had always wanted to find it again and upload it. It's nothing amazing, but it's one of the first I wrote. And it pre-dates the Pastebin. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Agnomeymous for sending me on this happy hunt. Though he may be confused about being credited, he posted a link to the archive that helped me to end up finding this. --- >Nightmare Night >Or Halloween, as normal people call it. >Then again this town is hardly normal. >You check yourself out in front of the mirror, this Vampire costume Rarity made is pretty great >Twilight even changed your teeth to be pointy with magic >You run your tongue over a fang >Feels weird, man. >Head outside and into the night >Ponies all about in costume, fillies running around playing in their little get ups >Clear, cloudless night >Crisp breeze >Time to find the gang and have a good night >Head down the path into the centre of Ponyville >Look around at the decorations >This town fucking loves Halloween >And so do you >Free candy, fun little games, an excuse to scare the shit out of people and beat away the zombie shuffling towards you >Wait, what? >Look again and see a pony dressed up a zombie slowly making it's way towards you, groaning all the while >You grin Nice costume, bro. You look pretty convincing! >The pony doesn't answer, it keeps heading towards you and groaning >Suddenly, a little man appears on your shoulder. It's you dressed in a bright blue suit >Jesus Christ >"Hey man, it's Logic, here" Hey, Logic. >"Listen. Remember all those old Zombie movies you used to watch where the guy says "Hey, nice costume!" and stands around looking stupid and then acts surprised when he gets eaten?" Yeah? >"That's you." Well I'll be dammed. >"No, you'll be eaten. HAUL ASS" >You run back away from the possible zombie/actor and head into town >Everyone is running around being all happy >But you know >You know what fate will befall them tonight >You must stop this impeding horror and save Ponyville from disaster! >Another version of you in a Red suit steps out this time >Man, what the fuck did you eat? >"Hey bro, Selfishness here" Oh hey, Selfishness, long time no see >"Yeah yeah. Listen, you want to save Ponyville, right?" Yeah? >"That's pretty cool I guess. But wouldn't you rather get drunk and get busy with those two Spa chicks?" Hmm. You make a good point, but wouldn't Ponyville be torn apart by the undead while I'm doing it? >"Fuck Ponyville, now go get drunk" >He slaps you over the back of the head and disappears in a puff of red smoke >You head towards the nearest cider-joint, which happens to be run by Applejack >"Anon! Great to see ya! Nice costume!" Thanks! I'm a vampire! >A pony stops dead next to you, wearing exactly the same outfit as you are >She looks up at you and grins, showing you her fangs >"No way! You too? I thought I was the only one!" Nah, Vampires are awesome. Who wouldn't want to be one? >"I know, right?! Oh it was great to see you, I'm gonna go feed. Have a great hunt!" >She turns into a bat and flies away >You smile >Hang on a minute, she wasn't a unicorn. How did she do that >... >Oh bollocks. >You look back to Applejack, who's sorting out some barrels of cider >She clearly didn't notice the actual vampire that was stood here a second ago. >You get a drink from her and carry on walking around >"BOO!" FUCK! >Fluttershy is flying in front of you, grinning from ear to ear >"D-did I scare you, anon? Is being scared your fetish?" No. It's not. And you made me spill my drink, Flutters. Thanks. >She looks crestfallen >"O-oh, i'm sorry... Here, let me help you" >She starts trying to pull off your shirt and licks the parts of your body you got cider all over >You bat her away and give her a stern look Can't I have ONE NIGHT where you don't do this shit? >Again, she looks sad. Then she perks up again >"I see you don't have a special somepony to spend tonight with!" >Give her a flat look No. >"Pleeeeeeease?" No. >"Oh..." >She starts sulking >But she's not leaving >Start walking away, hear her flying behind you >Looks like you've acquired a Fluttershy-Satellite for the night >God dammit. >Look at her again >She's not even wearing a costume Fluttershy, you know you're supposed to wear something for tonight, right? >"Oh, I am wearing something though!" >She puffs her chest out and beams at you, as if to show something off What? >"I'm you." Me. >"Yes. I'm you with no clothes on after tonight" >Oh for fucks sake, she's giving you the eyes again >And now she's touching your ass >This truly is a night of horror. >Spend the next hour wandering around, trying to lose Fluttershy in the crowd >Unfortunately she seems to have evolved super smell, and can literally sniff you out >Fucking Charles Darwin >Head down a back alley in another attempt to lose her >She flies over your head and gets in your face >"Oh~ trying to take advantage of me down an alleyway, are you?" No. >"Please don't violate me, I couldn't take it!" >She "hides" behind her hooves and waves her ass around, trying to be sexy and feign innocence at the same time >It's not working >Pick her up and and prepare to give her a good talking to Now listen, Fluttershy, I've had just about enough of th- >Something catches your eye >You drop Fluttershy in a bin and head over to what you think you saw >You poke your head behind some crates >Oh sweet lord >A pony lies on it's back, it's stomach split open and it's internal organs ravaged and lying around it's body >It's face reflects it's final moments: Absolute horror >But it's not that that bothers you >It's the pony eating it that bothers you >You back away slowly >This is no Halloween prank >"Hey Anon, I found a used condom in the bin you threw me in! Maybe we can-" >She sees the zombie cannibalising it's victim >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" >That's all it takes to snap you AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA >The zombie's head snaps 180 degrees around >"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" >You grab Fluttershy under your arm and Usain Bolt it out of there. EVERYONE! WE HAVE A PROB... OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME >The undead are rampaging through the marketplace-turned-funfair >Applejack is stood on a Cider barrel pummelling nearby zombies with a shovel >The Vampony you met is feeding on what appears to be Mayor Mare >There are ponies running into houses and handing out weapons to passers by >Big Mac is casually strolling through the town-square, pulling a wagon with Granny Smith sat in it who's yelling "Bring out ye' dead" and waving a bell >And Fluttershy has her head under your shirt and is sucking your nipples In retrospect, I could have stopped this >Logic appears >"Yeah you could have, you stupid git." >Selfishness appears >"Fuck you, Logic. The man needed a drink and the undead weren't going to stop him" >The two of them get into a fist fight >Fluttershy is still sucking your nipples >They're gonna be sore as fuck in the morning >Crisis Management Mode -- Go. >Remove Fluttershy from nipples with a loud sucking noise as she tries to keep her mouth attached >Flick the two avatars of your mind into a nearby water bucket >Walk over to a stand where a vendor is being torn limb from limb by the Spa ponies, Aloe and Lotus Wow, you're even hotter when you're dead >They wink at you and get back to eating the vendor >Pick up a large machete that was on sale and go to work >3 hours later And that, Twilight. Is how I saved Ponyville. >"Saved? SAVED?! In the last 4 hours we lost a third of the population! And we still have vampires to deal with after that!" >You're sat on a tree stump surrounded by burning corpses, Twilight has an icepack on her head while the rest of the Mane 6 burn the bodies >Well, everyone except Fluttershy. You lost her in the massacre. >Not dead lost >Just "misplaced her" >You flashback to a moment where you are stood on top of a burning building with a sea of zombies on all sides, in a last ditch effort to get away, you kicked Fluttershy off the building and they all ran after her. >She's a damn good runner, that Fluttershy. >Oh, speak of the devil. >Fluttershy stumbles up to you >She's worn out and covered in blood >"I... Made... it..." >She faints on top of your crotch, her face buried in it >She so planned that Well. I'll head home and see if my house hasn't been burned down. Laters Twilight >She's also fainted from the stress >Head home >It's still intact >You're still wearing your vampire costume >Remove it and head upstairs to have a shower >You relax as the hot water washes over your sore body >See a silhouette behind the shower curtain >Oh hell no, you've watched Psycho >Punch the silhouette through the curtain >"Ouch..." >Tear back the curtain >Fluttershy is on her back, holding her nose and looking incredibly sad >Then she sees that you're naked and perks up again >She opens her mouth and says what you've been dreading all night >"S-so is surviving the Zombie Apocalypse your fetish, Anon?" FUCKING FLUTTERSHY