prompt: maybe something about Young Celestia adapting to being a princess or coping with princess duties without Luna

> as soon as celestia had breached the threshold of her private quarters, her horn flared to life and she slumped against the mahogany wood grain thrown shut behind her
> this was not the life she wanted
> but it was the life she had earned herself
> how many years had already passed since her younger sister had been imprisoned in the moon for what seemed to celestia in hindsight as something so, so trivial?
> it was perhaps not right to say the matter was trivial
> luna's feelings were important--so, so important
> but celestia often felt that luna always tread the border of darkness
> she had seen the signs--everypony else had as well
> luna had been adamant, however, that she was fine
> she hung her head low, allowing her gilded crown to slide off and fall to the ground with an unceremonious clatter
> her wings unfurled against the unfeeling cold of her marble floor
> hindsight was indeed twenty-twenty, as she had so often heard through her years
> perhaps if she had done more, or said something more?
> it was simply unheard of at the time--ponies falling to despair simply because of neglect--and celestia had been overconfident that luna would pull herself out of her funk eventually
> however, ponies were communal by nature, and hardly ever spent time away from their friends or families
> the royal sisters were therefore members of a unique station in more ways than one
> they were on the top, and they were alone
> at least they had been alone together, for a time
>
> celestia pushed her shoes away and unclasped her 'golden yoke,' as she often called it
> it was her burden to bear, but it had only gotten heavier over the years
> after a moment of agonizing indecision, celestia got to her hooves and stepped softly through her room and toward the open balcony beside her bed
> the sun barely kept itself above the horizon, threatened by the distant landscape; it seemed as if the mountains would swallow the thing whole, even without her intervention
> celestia reached out to the sun nonetheless, grabbing hold of it with practiced ease and drawing it down into the shadowy miasma of dusk
> as it was her special talent, raising the sun was an effortless task for celestia
> it had always been, even on her worst days
> as she released the sun from her magical grip, however, she gritted her teeth and mentally prepared herself for the uneasy task that always followed her second-least favorite part of the day
> raising the moon was not so easily done
> celestia hissed as the moon fought against her foreign magic, and much like a seamstress threading a needle she attempted to raise the moon without knocking every star in the sky out of place in the process
> she could never get it quite right, though; she hadn't the touch for fine detail that her sister had always kept
> what had long ago been a task of teamwork, sisterhood, and camaraderie had transformed into an ugly, clumsy disgraceful performance that only celestia could see
> her ponies likely had no idea what a struggle it was for her to raise the moon, so alien a task that it brought her to nausea every night
> still, it was her obligation--if not to the lands over which she ruled, then to her shackled sibling
> at last she wrested the satellite from her sister's protest and hoisted it over the horizon
> the moon drifted lazily into the sky, where it would continue to climb for a good while
> she could never remember which phase came when, and often times would spin the moon inadvertently whilst raising it; she never had enough energy left to try and right the thing
> celestia blinked a few beads of sweat from her eyes that she hadn't realized were there
> she was left panting, drained of what little energy she had retained from a fruitless day of arguing with nobility and solving her ponies' most inconsequential of problems
> she often recalled luna's wit and zero-tolerance for the incessant demands of the canterlot elite
> celestia simply hadn't the stomach to deny them so quickly, and for the most part their demands were begrudgingly met
> but none of it mattered, really
> they were her ponies, and she loved them, but sometimes she wished they would all just disappear
> chuckling darkly to herself, celestia cast her eyes to the sky to behold her cheap handiwork
> she had actually received many compliments for her work with the constellations from astronomers and commoners alike when she had first overtaken luna's position
> perhaps her supporters were simply vying for luna's place, back when they had believed it something up for grabs
> 'Why, you've got such a knack for playing with the cosmos that I wonder if you ever truly needed Princess Luna to do anything at all!'
> celestia could hardly recall a time she had been so enraged
> what had been a desperate, sleepless many years studying the stars and pouring over every text in the canterlot royal library related to the space outside of equus was reduced to a cheap party trick by some insignificant fool trying to impress
> that hadn't specifically set her off, however; it was the callous dismissal of princess luna that had sent celestia over the edge
> it was a scandal--one of the first in many decades
> she had paid for the stallion's hospital bills using her own royal coffers, and had gone on to apologize publicly for her actions against the wishes of her advisors 
> but all that was years past, and now celestia was simply left with her own bitter feelings of guilt
> as if to reflect her discontent, the moon hid itself behind a blanket of dark clouds
> luna couldn't bear to watch her sister in her shame, it seemed
> sighing, celestia left the balcony to tidy her room and prepare for a night of sleepless slumber 
---
> many of celestia's days were filled with as much research and study as she could fit around the dominion of an entire nation 
> she had realized much too late that the elements of harmony were largely a mystery to her
> though she had wielded the elements with her sister, and even against her sister, many times over, celestia had not a clue how to understand the artifacts' magical properties
> the study of magic was more luna's field of interest, she often reminded herself
> though she had taken notes on the subject at one point alongside luna, many of the finer points slipped her mind
>
> celestia sat atop her throne flanked by a mountain of dusty books on either side
> during the slower days, celestia read quite a bit
> sadly, none of it was fiction and it was hard to explain why she was reading through magical dictionaries and lexicons in between question-and-answer sessions
> nopony ever said anything, but she was sure they thought she was losing her mind
> they simply could never understand
> there had to be a way to return her sister to equestria, and celestia was sure that with enough study she could devise a plan to bring her back
> it occupied her every waking thought
> it even tortured her in scarcely-had dreams
> but sadly, celestia still had a job to do
> she laid eyes on a portly farmer--a green earth pony, of course--that had reached the first in line to consult the princess on equestrian matters
> consorting with the land's ruler was an essential principle of day court, and what occupied most of celestia's day-to-day life
> while she never tired of giving advice and a warm smile to her subjects, some questions were harder to answer than others
> a guard posted near the front of the line cleared his throat and gave the farmer the normal spiel
> "You address her majesty Princess Celestia of Equestria! Kneel and state your business."
> the farm pony knelt before the princess, bowing his head
> "Your princessliness, if I may...?"
> celestia dipped her head slightly in approval
"Rise, my subject. Please speak freely about whatever troubles you. I will do what I can to answer your questions."
> the green stallion rose from the ground and looked at celestia from under the brim of his straw hat
> "Well, I thank ya. My family and I"--he gestured to a few other ponies behind him, who shied away from celestia's powerful gaze--"have been farmin' for many years on the outskirts of Canterlot. While we don't know much about no sun raisin' or what have you, we know enough to say that somethin's been a little off with our yields over the past few years, and we reckon it might be cause the moon's been on the fritz since Luna was banished."
> a particularly zealous guard by celestia's side glared at the farmer, and tightened his grip on his spear
> "Are you accusing the Princess of performing below her capacity? Realize that if it weren't for the Princess, you would have no crops at all!"
> the farmer flinched, but held his ground
> "I-I understand that, really, but I won't be able to grow nothin' good if the moon don't stay on cycle. Least, that's what I think."
> celestia frowned inwardly, although she kept her outward expression level
> she scanned the hall and picked out the farmer's family--she had seen a few of them during her rare visits to the canterlot markets
"I see. I recognize your family, and I know you have been providing Canterlot with fresh crops for a very long time. I will see to it that the moon returns to its proper form."
> the farmer seemed satisfied with celestia's answer, much to her relief, and after bowing once more he left the line and started for the castle courtyard alongside his family
> it was only natural that somepony would catch on after a while, she thought
> she was an impostor, and could only do with the moon that which she had seen herself
> the sun was a much easier charge, and was certainly easier to deal with when she had only needed to deal with one celestial body at a time
> she glanced anxiously at her books before another stallion stepped up to query the princess
> celestia hoped the day would pass quickly
>
> it seemed that today was the day to question celestia's proficiency over her sister's former duties
> unicorns working for the canterlot observatory had come with hard questions
> it seemed she had misplaced a few stars over the years while raising the moon, thereby shifting whole constellations out of view and ruining decades of documentation regarding the night sky
> the astronomers were understandably furious, and celestia didn't have a good answer for them
> she had asked for their records, and promised to painstakingly move things back into proper alignment 
> of course, she had no confidence that she could make good on her promise 
> others came with their own personal gripes
> concerned mother mares complaining about their foals' terrible nightmares, which celestia certainly could do nothing about
> the realm of dreams was luna's domain
> sometimes celestia wondered if luna herself was responsible for the recent plague of nightmares upon her nation, but celestia put those thoughts to rest when she could
> sailponies came to protest the recent unpredictable ocean behavior, likely affected by the capricious behavior of the moon courtesy of celestia's mishandling
> she promised to do what she could, but most ponies she felt had left unsatisfied
> celestia felt exhausted after court had adjourned, all but crumbling onto her bed once she had returned to her room
> there was still time before dinner was served to do more research, but she was so very tired...
> she kicked her shoes off, tossed her crown across the room, and pressed her muzzle into her pillow to scream
>
> it had taken some serious internal debate, but celestia eventually rolled onto her back to glance at her bedside table
> she hadn't the time that day to brush up on her magic knowledge during court, but there were many more tomes in her room that called her to attention
> celestia sighed; she needed to rest, but her brain kept working
> what if there was something she had missed? 
> what if she just needed a little more experience, or a little more time?
> it was always enough to pull her out of her predisposition to napping and force her to work
> she levitated a few books over
> their titles intimidated her, and their thicknesses even more-so
> she had gathered many different books over the years; these latest tomes were books on spellcraft, the moon's special properties, the summer sun celebration, and other various topics
> celestia spread the dusty articles across her bed and began to nose through them page by page
> 
> after an hour or so of reading, celestia's eyes grew heavy
> she was sure she would pass out before even finishing the first book, but her guilt motivated her to press onward
> her ethereal tail waved to and fro as she kicked her legs and blinked away sleep
> she had barely managed to learn anything over the course of her reading, though
> in all her study, she still hadn't even managed to scratch the surface of what the elements of harmony were capable of
> furthermore, she hadn't found a way to reactivate them after banishing her sister
> they had cut her off from their power shortly after, and celestia hadn't touched them since
> in fact, she hadn't even bothered to move them from their original place of rest despite having relocated from her castle in the everfree forest many years ago
> celestia groaned in exasperation, rolling back and forth on her luxurious comforter
"GAH! Why must everything be so difficult? It would be much easier if Luna could simply..." 
> celestia paused her musings; there was something there, just beyond her senses
> some nagging feeling took hold of her, and she couldn't shake it
> she sat bolt upright in her bed, looking around her room
> what was it?
> it was as if somepony had softly tapped her on the shoulder, though she knew full well nopony had infiltrated her private quarters
> cautiously, celestia left her cozy bed and trotted over to the balcony
> it was nearly time to raise the moon, she realized, and she set her momentary feelings of discomfort aside
> however, the feeling only grew stronger as her sun left the sky and she began to drag the moon out of its hiding place 
> the moon had always protested against her magic
> this time, she felt as though she might lose hold of it entirely
> celestia dug her heels into the marble below as she strained against the moon's power
> the light from her horn grew in intensity and she gritted her teeth, frowning in concentration
> after a couple of gasping breaths, celestia realized the moon was indeed slipping away from her and simply let go
> she stared at the sky, astonished
> the moon began to travel upward on its own power, relieved of celestia's influence entirely
> how?
> how could that be?
> she once again attempted to throw her magic upon the moon to no avail
> it was as if somepony else more powerful had seized control of it, and was simply shedding her lesser magic off
> perhaps...
> celestia shook her head in disbelief
"Luna...?"
> the gears began to spin in her head, and celestia dashed from the balcony back to her chambers
> without regard for her previous weariness she tore through the pages of her notes, her books, and any other stationary she had inked during her many fruitless years of research
> "No, no, no, no! Where is it?" 
> with a frustrated moan celestia threw open the doors of her chambers, startling a pair of guards on the other side
> they did their best to appear unfazed, but upon seeing their princess without her usual regalia and a wild look in her eye, they couldn't help but question her
> "P-princess? Is everything alright?" 
> she ignored them, breaking into a rough canter toward the royal canterlot library
> 
> about the time she had arrived in front of the library's entrance, she realized she could have simply teleported where she needed to be
> she disappeared with a flash, reappearing on the second floor of the library's east wing
> it was the magic wing, and held a special chamber to which only she had access
> she trotted anxiously past a sea of familiar bookshelves before coming to rest in front of an unassuming wooden door
> there was a hole about a quarter of the way from the top of the door about the size of a unicorn's horn, and celestia stuck her horn into the groove 
> with a click, the door unlocked, and celestia barged in without closing it
> if she wasn't in such a hurry, she might have laughed at how disorganized everything was
> but she knew what she was looking for
> celestia clicked her tongue as her eyes fell upon a journal spread wide open on a wooden table
> she walked over to the tome and flipped through its pages
> she paused after passing a few sketches of the elements of harmony, knowing she had gone too far, and leafed backward before stopping on a particular set of loose notes
> the notes detailed every enemy the princesses had faced in days of old, and how the elements of harmony had affected them once used
> she was sure this was luna's hoofwriting
> most of equestria's enemies were of the milder sort, and those that required the interference of the elements of harmony were typically reduced rather than destroyed
> discord, one of the more notable examples, lay encased in stone in the castle gardens
> the rest were either cleansed of their evil and returned to the public as 'reformed' or still sitting in stony prisons alongside discord
> and of those that were imprisoned, most of them...
> "...eventually returned to full power and escaped, either to be recaptured, destroyed, or reformed..." 
> celestia gasped
> how could she have forgotten?
> in her grief, she had assumed that luna's banishment was permanent and irreversible
> however, the nature of the elements went contrary to that, at least according to what her sister had once told her
> and earlier, she had certainly felt -something-
> the moon had raised itself under the authority of somepony else
> luna was regaining her power!
> celestia felt a wild smile spread across her muzzle and she couldn't help but trot excitedly in place
> while it was likely luna would still be just as evil as she had been when she left, celestia likely had time to devise a way to purge the darkness from her heart
> sure, she could no longer use the elements, but she could simply find others who could!
> then, whenever luna returned, she could be reformed
> celestia could say she was sorry
> she could apologize for all the hurt, and for never seeing the darkness in her sister's heart
> how she had carried that burden for so long without ever saying a word
> but now, maybe there was a chance to make things right
> she didn't feel her tears until she heard them scald the scattered notes below
> all the waiting
> all the sorrow
> all the guilt
> while there was no certainty that luna would ever forgive her sister, celestia knew that she would at least have another chance
"Lunaaaaa!"
> the first sob escaped her and she fell into a fit of bittersweet sorrow
> she clutched the precious papers to her breast as if they were her own sister in the flesh
> celestia knew not when luna would come back, or what would happen after, but celestia now realized she would see her sister again
> however long it took, celestia would wait for her luna's return