>be
>Celestia.
>The Bestia.
>Or atleast that's what your new human consort called you
>Behind closed doors of course, you didn't want to upset your sister after all.
>Speaking of new human consort, after having your body so thoroughly
>Lewdly
>And utterly subjugated by his wiry claws he insists on calling fingers
>You decided to promote him on the spot from his position on the solar guard
>Directly to being your consort
>It didn't matter how many of your little ponies he massaged so thoroughly
>He
>Would
>Be
>Yours.
>And the promotion signified that!
>You just had to let him know about the promotion, and his new duties
>Because after that belly rub during day court, faust alive you couldn't get enough!
>You needed his deft fingers in your coat, rubbing your ears, and
>and
>caressing your HORN!
>Unf~!
>It felt so absolutely naughty to think about, that you wobbled on your feet as you continued to trot your way towards Anon's quarters
>Winking all the while
>It was so naughty
>So freeing to trundle your way towards his quarters, uncaring that anypony could smell your fresh arousal
>Was this how the pre-unification rulers fell to hedonism?
>Had they found a pleasure so captivating
>So heady, so /demeaning/
>That they would do anything to get more of it?
>So, as you finally finished your long trot to the west wing, you'd prepare yourself for the incoming confrontation
>However, you'd glance down
>You'd forgotten the specialty socks!
>And you were still wearing your regalia!
>Teleporting back to your chambers, you'd hastily equip your Rarity First Edition "Sock it To 'Em" socks
>What a silly little name, you adored that mare.
>However, the socks themselves were certainly deserving of the name
>The finest grey wool, with gold filigree interwound with each major strand
>Embroidered with tiny versions of your cutie mark, making you look absolutely /striking/
>up came the lingerie "panties"
>that accentuated your
>audacious
>rump, and flagged your tail
>You wanted this cuddling to be the absolute best you'd ever had, and you'd need to /entice/ your consort
>A shiver ran up and down your spine as you teleported back
>And opened the door to...

>be
>Celestia
>Bedecked in your finest lingerie
>Your illustrious illuminance was absolutely dazzling
>Or that was what you thought, as the door ever so slowly eased its way open
>Your heart was pounding as you did so
>A nervous whinny escaping you unwittingly as the door creaked open
>However what greeted you wasn't your hunky human with his clothing in a state of disarray
>Or even your hunky human consort at all!
>It was your (albeit a bit socially awkward) student! The Princess of Friendship herself, Twilight Sparkle!
>For some reason, she was swaddled in one of his blankets-
>And, she was currently in the process of stealing one of Anon's Signature, everso /musky/ workout tees!
>Those
>Were
>Yours!
>Well, technically they were Anon's, but what's his is yours and what's yours is his!
>Whatever! This wasn't important- what /was/ important was the fact that the newly minted alicorn was stealing from Anon
>Right underneath your very nose!
"/TWILIGHT!/"
"What in /FAUSTS/ very name are you /DOING?/"
>You'd boom allowing your normally exceptionally tight grip on your voice go
>Even if it were just for a moment, the boom of your Royal Canterlot Voice™ knocked the wind out of her sails rather abruptly
>Causing her to let out a shriek of utter terror, as she dropped the tee to the floor before scrambling towards you
>The sudden onslaught of purple limbs and the stench of Anon knocked you both to the floor in a flurry of activity
>With twilight somehow managing to knock you onto your back, and to land on your belly at the same time
>Her continued scrambles for escape caused her to hurriedly hoof at your belly, attempting in vain to move away from your legs, which had unintentionally closed around her barrel
>And pressed her own belly closer to yours
>un-
>No! This was supposed to be your moment with ANON and not allowing it to be ruined by the little purple THIEF!
>However as her struggles weaned off, her heavy breathing was replaced with ramblings about what she wasn't doing
>And how it wasn't for her shrin-
>Wait, shrine?
"Twilight, can you please explain to me"
>You'd pause, staring down at the now cowering mare in your hooves
>Sucking in a breath of air, you'd shake your head.
"What exactly, /were/ you planning to do with that shirt?"
"And why exactly were you covered in Anon's, ehem. /Fragrant/, unwashed blankets?"

>be
>Twilight Sparkle (autism heosr)
>And be completely out of your league.
>Everything was happening so quickly, and it made your heart thunder in your chest
>It was supposed to be a simple, easy heist for the HIGHEST RATED commodity in all of Equestria
>And it was going to immediately go into your shrine, to be praised and studied along with all of your other Human Artefacts-
>Fluttershy thought it was a good idea, to study the new animal
>Rarity thought it was weird- but still gave you your support- but Spike and Applejack?
>They'd been so against it that they managed to talk Rainbow Dash out of your plan to filch- rather, extract, new materials for study!
>And that only complicated things further and further, to the point where you were alone in your heist
>It didn't even matter!
>You could do all of this yourself!
>Or, that was what you thought prior to getting caught by Celestia, and getting interrogated by her inside of the Humans inner sanctum-
>All while the Sun herself was wearing lingerie-
>Wait, what were you saying?
>Did you mention that you had a shrine?!
"Nono! I, I didn't- I was planning to just! To wash it?"
>Save! She had to believe that absolutely cunning lie-
>Although, just telling that lie made you feel icky, but this was what you had to do to make sure nobody found out about it before your research was complete!
>Skeptical, matronly eyes stared back at you as you told it though, and you averted your eyes as she slowly sighed
>In a moment, you went from being embraced by the sun, to making her dissappointed.
>You may as well just tell her the truth at this point, but it worried you to the point of exhaustion as you shrunk down in her grasp
>be
>Twiggly wiggly, autismo supreme-
>But you already knew that, because you were twilight sparkle previously.
>While hoofing at Celestia's belly, your ears flattened against the top of your head
>"Are you /certain/ Twilight?"
"Celestia please! You have to believe me, it was just to, to wash it!"
>With each and every lie stacked atop another, you could feel your little heart thunder in your chest
>And you'd hoof further and further at your teachers belly, the scrambling for escape dying down into a mere idle pawing
>You felt terrible, and the look she was giving you was horrid as she looked so utterly /disappointed/ in you.
>But you kept up the lie, and painted a tiny smile onto your face- before your hoof would guide itself a little too low
>And your matronly teacher let out a sultry, utterly /content/ whinny of utmost /pleasure/
>Your ears would slam even further onto your head, as the sound of a wet splatter hit them
>Was she really that pent-
>"Twilight! What do you think you're /doing/ you silly, silly filly?"
>And there were the reprecussions for your actions, as she launched into a carefully censored (for your sake) tirade about how it was naughty for you to touch another mare like that /again/ after what happened at Applejacks farm last year
>A blush lit up your lilac muzzle, as you snuggled closer to the celestial diarch
>There wasn't much else you could do to get out of this one, and you didn't want to cry like last time
>be
>Anon
>based god.
>or something suitably pompous as you strut through the castle
>dominating these PEASANTS like you were born to
>they'd first tried to pamper you like all the other stallions
>but you were ANON
>the HUMAN, the ambassador of your kind and apparently the only male this side of equestria who wasn't obsessed with talking about the logistics of fabrics
>or the braindead chatting about beautification products
>or that herd nonsense you'd been hearing about nigh 24/7
>who the fuck cared if Fancy Pants finally added Fleur De Lis to his herd?
>not you, that was for certain
>and so you walked back to your quarters with PURPOSE
>the gossip circle in the kitchens was getting boring anyways, so you were planning on returning with a box filled with board games and such
>there had to be something related to any of the board games you used to play with Momma Incog and Papanon
>although you already tried mareopoly with the gossip circle, and that had gone exactly as expected- Glamour hadn't looked at Pockets the same in weeks.
>lots of hurt feelings that night, but calling someone a "stinky doodoo head" and having them actually bawl there eyes out was still going down in your list of 'heartiest of keks had'
>but you were getting off topic
>rounding the familiar corner towards your own chambers, the idle sound of conversation finally hit your ears
>or rather the sound of Celestia rambling on about the virtues of sexual celibacy, or rather that Twilight should at the very minimum stop touching her like that while she was-
>What? You tuned into the conversation as you slowed your gait
>"Twilight, you really ought to learn one of these days. It's /naughty/ to touch mares like that, especially mares! We might be in private Twilight- but it's still im-im, Immorale? Or, uhm. Not moral!"
>Well, this was only going to end in tears
>if
>you didn't get involved that was.
>shaking your head, you'd jump into the situation headfirst
>pushing your own door open a bit more, and standing in the doorway, you'd stare down at the conglomeration of pony limbs wrapped up on your floor.
>Celestia's words die in her throat as she stares up at you, a starstruck look in her eyes
>as Twilight continues to burrow herself into Celestias belly floof
>honestly, as cute as the scene was, you could see Twiggles' eyes watering
>and these childlike ponies tended to /actually/ cry rivers like the idiom suggested
>god damn kiddiephysics
>trotting over and picking up the so-close-to-sobbing twilight wasn't much of an ordeal, but the second you wrapped your arms around her barrel, and hugged her close to you
>the waterworks started
>rubbing soothing circles into Twilights back, you'd /glare/ at Celestia, promising horrible, horrible things with only a /stare/
>she was only getting ear scratchies and the /tiniest/ bit of belly rubs tonight.
>however, the sobbing mare in your arms continued to drench the back of your suit in her torrential downpour of cries, as you rocked her back and forth in your arms.
>without anything else to truly do other than comfort her as she shook and tuckered herself out
>you'd look to celestia, and beckon her closer with the hand you weren't stabilising Twiggly wiggly over your shoulder with
>her eyes were wide in anticipation as she sidled her way closer to you- swaying her ample rump unknowingly as you /stared/ at the panties she was wearing
>hnnnng
>but you were a STRONG human, you could RESIST the urge to set twilight down and give the horny princess the ride of her life-
>for you now had two princesses to comfort
>for better or for worse.
>be
>(You.)
>Stuck underneath a mountain of 2 (two (deuce)) pastel talking horses
>But instead of talking, they were snoring
>Sunbutt happened to conk out almost a minute after wiggly-twiggly managed to somehow wet the entire left half of your suit with tears and snot
>Twilight, after probably crying over a litre of tears finally managed to pass out moments afterwards
>Leaving you ensconced inside of what a lesser man would call nirvana
>Yet you, would call it prison.
>Kafka would be weeping tears of jizz at your predicament, and yet the thought of a German creaming himself brought no joy to your ill-defined face
>However in this psychological dissonance filled reverie, you quickly realised that you were probably horridly late to whatever Celestia had requested you in your room for,
>What did she want again?
>whatever
>atleast you got to stare at her ass as she snoozed
>tasteful striped orange panties
>and a pair? quad? of similarly striped orange socks
>you were beginning to crest upon the realisation of /why/ all the stallions in the gossip circle were obsessed with fabric logistics- especially if such minor amounts of clothing were seen as something either lewd
>or to be gazed upon in awe
>speaking of clothing
>there was a distinct lack of heavy metal digging into your skin
>huh
>wild
>You'd never seen Celestia without her regalia unless she was in the shower or something
>as that train of thought continued to chug along however, Celestia slowly roused from her impromptu nap
>Your hand continued to slowly smooth out the fur of her back, before you'd lock eyes with her
>d'awww
>she was adorable, even in a clearly lethargic state.
>she smiled back too
>d'aaaaaaaawww.
>a second passed
>then another
>then another-
>before she clearly realised what she was doing, and her eyes boggled in her skull
>Rearing her head back- she'd swipe her horn from its resting place at your jawline, to a few inches away,
>Accidentally tearing a teensy tiny amount of skin, and causing a similarly small amount of pain.
"Awh fuck."
>Before she /wailed/ and began apologising at the speed of sound
>"Anon!I'msosorryIdon'tknowwhatcameovermeandnowI'vehurtyouareyoualrightdoesithurtcanIhealyouohwaityou'renotaponyareyoualright-"
>you'd pull your hand from your back to halt her torrent of sorries from the source.
>but now you were at a crossroads
>what do you do to make her calm down?

>Shitty joke, go!