How did Pinkie Pie end up in my end basement? Well it all started two years after arriving in Equestria. 

I lived a peaceful life in Ponyville and mostly kept to myself, not that much different than back on Earth in that regard. I was hoping to marry my love, Applejack, but she wasn't interested in me. I was rejected by the mare of my dreams. That never sat well with me, to put it mildly. She never explained why other than "not interested". I'm not sure if she was trying to spare my feelings or if she just didn't want to be bothered. I didn't give up trying though, and eventually she allowed me to work as a farmhoof (hand in my case) as long as I agreed to "no funny business" which included trying to woo her. 

Well that didn't last long you see because I couldn't resist staring at that fine apple-bucking ass. Big Mac caught me a few times and just shook his head, he knew about my interest in his sister and was keeping a close eye on me. But that wasn't what ended my time as a farmhand at Sweet Apple Acres. I eventually couldn't hold back and dumped all of my feelings on AJ in hopes to make her understand how much I loved her and to at least give me a chance. What was once an apple farm mere moments ago turned into a field of spaghetti. She was outraged and called me a creep. After shoving me a few times and yelling at me to leave and never come back, I did as she told me to. Utterly defeated, I made my way back to Ponyville. I layed in my bed and cried. Was it days, weeks? I don't recall. 

Eventually I got my bearings and found a new job sorting letters at the post office. Not the most interesting job but the bits were enough to get me by. The only pony there that would socialize with me was the ditzy mailmare. I enjoyed my time talking to her, she was silly and didn't judge. Didn't take long before I started crushing on her, which felt weird because I still loved AJ. 

Months have passed and I was beginning to catch more feelings for this mailmare, Derpy Hooves. What a peculiar name when comparing it to Applejack. But that was part of her charm, she was so much different than AJ and that put me at ease. I got the courage to ask her out for lunch and she actually agreed. I almost didn't believe it, was this real? A mare I like not rejecting me? I was still suffering from mare rejection PTSD so this was huge. Although I still had feelings for AJ I was putting some of my love eggs in Derpy's basket. 

We agreed to the Sugarcube Corner...Well it was more like Derpy absolutely insisted. I've never been there before, was never a huge sweets guy but I wasn't going to dampen the mood. 

So we met out front of Sugarcube Corner, she was there first waiting for me. Although a bit more homely compared to AJ she was still a pretty mare and her eyes never bothered me. At work some ponies would make fun of her behind her back. But when I saw her standing there smiling at me I found her to be absolutely breathtaking, the most beautiful mare I've ever laid eyes on. 

I was feeling pretty nervous but I pulled up my pants and went in for a hug. She hugged me right back and even wrapped her wings around me. This was the first time I felt physical affection from a pony, I was melting. Time stopped and I was in paradise, absolute bliss. Unfortunately she broke away the hug and we went inside to grab some grub. An energetic pony named Pinkie Pie was running the register, she gave us a wink.

I was surprised at how much Derpy could eat, she ate an entire cake by herself and still had room for muffins. We started out by talking about work and eventually got on to the subject of everyday life stuff. Here I was, talking to this adorable mare, on a date, in Ponyville. I may have been taking my time here for granted, there was more to this world than AJ. I was having the best time of my life. That was until Derpy nonchalantly began talking about how amazing her stallionfriend was. 

Time began to freeze again, but not in the good way like when we were hugging. No, this was like one of those slow motion nightmares where you try to escape but can't. I could hear her talking but not really make out any words. Something about him being a doctor and a big deal, whatever. I was sweating and probably looked like a psychopath because I could feel my face involuntarily contorting. 

Eventually she finished blabbing about her stallionfriend and asked me what was wrong. I couldn't speak at first. But with a scrunched face she poked my arm with her hoof. That gave me a jolt, more pony affection. It was like my body craved it, needed it. I looked at her and with a shaky voice said that I thought we were on a date. She blushed a little and told me she thought we were just going out as co-workers to grab a bite to eat. 

More face scrunching followed by awkward silence. I knew I had to get out, I had to leave. Holding back a torrent of emotions I was able to hastily excuse myself. On my way out I could see Pinkie looking at me.

After getting home I screamed and threw a tantrum, throwing around my meager furnishings like a madman. Eventually I was so out of breath I just laid on the floor and cried. I didn't go to work the next day. Or the day after that. 

After a couple weeks I received a letter in the mail telling me I was canned. Yeah, what a surprise. I didn't care about my job, bits, anything really. Well that was a lie, I was now back to pining over Applejack. I thought Derpy was my ticket out of hell but she was just my unemployment voucher.

After some more weeks of moping around I heard a knock on my door. In the middle of another self administered pity party, I grumbled and opened up. Standing before me was a pink mare holding balloons. I must have looked like a mess but she just smiled and barged in. Apparently word got around that I was fired and no pony saw me around town for a while. That's kinda Pinkie's shtick. I remember when I first arrived in Ponyville, she threw a huge party for me. Those were better times, when I was still thrilled to be here, before what happened with Applejack. 

I didn't mind seeing her, or her barging into my house, or even her setting up a thousand party decorations. No, I thought she was the next best thing since sliced bread. Well at least after a few hard ciders. We were dancing and she even got me to singalong with her Smile Song. A few more ciders later and I find myself making out with her on my couch. How did I get here? I went from negative 100 to transcending my mortal shell. We had to have been smooching for hours, but I was drunk so who knows. First time I ever did anything like that. One thing lead to another, she's taking off my pants and then bouncing on my meat. Yeah, wasn't expecting that either but it was the most extreme sensation I've ever experienced. 

The next day I woke up on my couch hungover. But I also noticed there was a pony leaning next to me snoring her head off. I immediately was struck with a moment of awe, realizing that what happened yesterday was not just a dream. She woke up not long after and kissed me. Without my alcoholic layers of armor I was shocked, eyes wide open as I kissed her back. Eventually I closed my eyes and began to relax. I was sad when she had to leave but she promised to see me soon.

Feeling like a new man I cleaned up my place and myself. All the while constantly thinking about Pinkie Pie. And she was true to her word, she came back to see me again. And again. Eventually I found a new job, this time as an assistant to the clerk at town hall. Now back to being employed and having a marefriend in my life, I felt on top of the world. I wish I could relive those days on repeat, without a care in Equestria.


Weeks pass, months pass. By this point I'm deeply in love with Pinkie. But all good things must come to an end. 

At my new job I started to actually make friends with a stallion there. An older brown coated earth pony named Flynn. One day after work we decided to grab a drink and shoot the shit. After a couple drinks I couldn't stop bragging about how I was dating Pinkie Pie and how she's the best pony in the world. On one hand I wished that old coot kept his mouth shut and just let me live in my own little world. But on the other hand I probably would have found out eventually.

He told me about a swingers club where ponies in town go to meet "special friends". And that Pinkie was the club president. Naturally I almost knocked his block off, but he swore he was telling the truth. Well if he was my friend before that he's definitely not now. After getting directions to the the club I stormed over there tipsy and ready for trouble.

The three story building was nondescript but I've seen it before. If Flynn was telling the truth then this place was a den of debauchery. Opening the door I was met by two bulky earth ponies with ear piercings. I told them I was with Pinkie Pie, they just nodded and let me go upstairs. After the way I saw them nod at me I was getting worried that the story was true. Was Pinkie really at a swingers club behind my back? Was she the fucking club president?

Adrenaline pumping as I hurried up the steps, I could hear my heart beating loudly. But also bass from the mini rave going on at the second floor. Another bouncer at the stairway welcomed me and I asked him where Pinkie was. With a smirk he said upstairs but that she was probably busy. Moving my way around the dancing ponies I was able to find the next set of stairs going up. As I made my way the music dampened but now I could hear the sounds of something else. In what only could be described as a large group orgy, there are ponies fucking all over the room. On the floor, on couches, on tables. The sound of moaning and orgasms throughout the room was sensory overload. I tunnel visioned when I saw a pink pony in the corner of the room with five stallions taking turns filling her holes. Flynn was telling the truth, everything be damned! I was about go confront Pinkie. But something inside me snapped.

I left the club without incident. Feeling numb but calm, I made preparations for when I would hear the knock on my door. For when Pinkie comes home to me.

So now here I am. In my basement with a noose ready for myself. Almost kind of funny when I think about it. Back on Earth I was also in my basement acquainting myself with a similar looking noose.

But before that, the task at hand...Pinkie looks so soft and innocent. But I know that's a big fat lie. She's tied up and struggling, begging me to let her go. But she is going to suffer for her degeneracy, there's no going back. My rope session will have to wait just a bit longer until I'm done with her…

End.