>Curiosity is inevitable
> Now, Anon didn’t look down on these ponies at all
>he knew they were always kind, and to him, that’s what mattered most of all
>but the question of their, well, intelligence lingered in his little green brain
>They had their… tendencies, to act a bit different from how anon was used to seeing full-grown adults act
>to put it mildly, they were quite… soft? Overreactive? It was difficult for anon to describe, but sometimes it felt like Equestria was inhabited by 5 year olds
>this wasn’t an issue for him at all, but that burning curiosity within him must be extinguished
>and anonymous had the perfect way of figuring it out
 “Hey uh, twilight, can I ask you a quick question?”
>twilight turns around
>”of course anon, enjoying the weather today?”
“Yeah, the weathers great, just cloudy enough to be a bit shady but not too cloudy to block out the sun!”
>twilight shows a bit of excitement
>”haha, I know right, perfect weather for reading outside!”
>she changes expression suddenly
>”oh right, you had a question for me?”
>anon takes a deep breathe, relishing in his final moments of living in the unknown of what will soon be revealed to him
“Twilight…”
>”um, yeah anon?”
“How would you feel if you didn’t eat breakfast this morning?”
>”...”
>twilight tilts her head in confusion
>”um, well I guess I would be pretty hungry, actually i read a book about-”
>aaaaand she even has a source to back it up
>Though a seemingly simple question, the ability to answer a hypothetical-situational question proved that Twilight is perfectly capable of at least average human intelligence
>huh, I wonder what the other ponies would say, anonymous thought
>and so, anonymous went around town asking everypony he could find
>every answer seemed to be some variant of ‘hungry’ or ‘bad’
>thus, anonymous proved that, at least in a very rudimentary way, ponies are somewhere near or on level with average human intelligence

>being the only human in equestria, anon was granted special privileges to visit the princesses at any time
>though calling it “privileges” is more of a formality
>the princesses just really like playing with anon because he was closer to them in size and can often keep up with them when running around
>so, anon made his way to canterlot by train

>as he entered the castle he noticed Celestia sitting on her throne reading
“Hey Celestia, I learned something cool today!”
>Celestia’s face tilts up after hearing anon
>”ANONYMOUS, so nice to see you again, hey, I got a new swingset in the garden, want to try it later?”
“Of course, hey celestia, wanna hear about my little experiment?”
>celestia’s face lights up in excitement
>”oh of course!”
“Well, back where i’m from, you can tell generally how smart someone is by asking a simple question, and when I asked everyone in ponyville they all passed”
>”oh WOW! That’s interesting, so does that mean everypony in ponyville is super smart?”
“Well, not genius smart, but definitely as smart as the average human”
>”that’s very cool anon, but, what was it you asked them?”
“Oh, yeah, it was ‘How would you feel if you didn’t eat breakfast this morning’”
>celestia goes silent for a moment
>”I’m sorry anonymous, but, what are you talking about?”
>oh shit that’s right, she probably doesn’t know why you would ask that question, anonymous thought
“Oh, sorry I should have explained, It’s called a hypothetical-situational question, and it actually takes a surprising amount of intelligence to be able to answer correctly”
>celestia gives you a confused look
>oh dammit she still doesn’t get it, anonymous frantically thought
“Okay here, for example, Celestia, How would you feel if you did not eat breakfast this morning?”
>she squints her eyes and opens her mouth slightly, leaving her expression lingering for a second before answering
>”but anon, I did eat breakfast this morning…”
>... what? Anonymous’s brain said
“Sorry, what I meant was, how would you feel IF you didn’t eat breakfast this morning Celestia”
>her confused look only grew
>”anonymous I ate breakfast this morning”
>double what, anon thought
“But celestia… I’m sure you did eat breakfast but I’m asking how you would feel if you did NOT eat breakfast this morning”
>Celestia began to grow frustrated
>”anooon, what are you talking about I DID eat breakfast this morning!”
>right after celestia raised her voice, luna came running into the room
>”I heard arguing in here, celestia you aren’t being mean to anonymous are you?”
>celestias face continued to grow from frustration and lean more towards anger
>”no, ANONYMOUS IS THE ONE BEING MEAN TO ME!”
>oooooooohhhhhh boy, anon thought
“Look, let’s ask luna, it will make a lot more sense once you see what she says”
>you pray to every deity possible that luna answers this right or you might be in some big trouble
“Uh, luna, how would you feel if you did not eat breakfast this morning?”
>she rubs her chin as she thinks
>anon’s worry grows more by the nanosecond
>”well, I guess I would be really hungry”
>anon lets out a well deserved sigh
>”BUT I SAW YOU EAT BREAKFAST THIS MORNING LUNA!!!”
>celestia shouts with childish fury
>both anon and luna go wide eyed at her rage
>”um, sister, I don’t understand, anon was just asking how I would feel if i didn’t eat breakfast, and when I don’t eat breakfast I feel very hungry, that’s all”
>anger spreads across celestia’s face painting it red
>”YOU’RE JUST BULLYING ME NOW, YOU’RE BOTH JUST BULLIES!!!”
>her shouting caused the guards to rush into the throne room
>”CELESTIA IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?” the head guard asks
>celestia looks at both you and luna
>”these two BULLIES are bullying me and telling me i didn’t eat breakfast this morning when i KNOW I DID!!!”
>”YOU WERE THERE LUNA YOU SAW ME EAT BREAKFAST!!!”
>oooooooooohhhhhhhh boy, part 2
>the head guard looked at anon but looked to luna with worry
>likley due to the fact a guard probably can’t do anything to apprehend a princess
>luckily quick thinking saves the day
“Look I’ll explain everything, long story short I asked her a question she didn’t understand”
>”here, how would YOU feel if you did NOT eat breakfast this morning?”
>the head guard rubs his chin in thought
>”well” he answers… “I guess i would feel pretty hungry!”
>a full 5 seconds of ominous silence fills the room after he finishes his words
>you turn to celestia to see her, face full of tears, clenching her teeth
>”WELL YOU KNOW WHAT ANON, IF YOU WANT TO BE THE WORLDS BIGGEST MEANIE EVER I’LL NEVER LET YOU PLAY ON MY SWINGSET, AND I WON’T EVEN LET YOU COME INTO THE CASTLE AGAIN!!!”
>”AND I KNOW ALL OF YOU CAME TOGETHER JUST TO BULLY ME, WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME SO MUCH!!!”
>celestia ran to her chambers in tears
>it was an “I’m not sure where I’m gonna go to get my daily swing-setting in now” kind of day