https://odysee.com/@vul:0/mare_is_for_air:0 [Sleepless Moondancer] With insomnia, nothing's real. You're never really asleep, and you're never really awake. Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. After a full moon of having to listen to my neighbors for nights on end, I think I somehow got acclimated to not sleeping at night. It's funny, because during the day... And when the spell is applied perpendicular to our matrix layer, the form of the transient response is, please, Moondancer? Moondancer? What's the point of taking these classes anymore? I can't even take notes! A few seconds after I've written them down, I look down at the paper and either I haven't written anything at all, or it's completely illegible. Nothing works. I've tried exercise. I've tried warm milk. I've tried yoga. Counting sheep! Breathing exercises! And still every night I am left lying in bed questioning why I can't go to sleep. But what I have always wondered most is what the neighbors were doing. Who the hay needs to be blasting music at 5:30 in the morning? Do you not have to work during the day? You can't be working graveyard shift because then you wouldn't be blasting your music in your house while working... Ugh... What time is it? 5:30?! What in Celestia's name is going on down there? Do you know why I'm down here? Nope. Is it... ten? It's 5:30! Well, that sucks. Hey, wait, I'm not done talking to you! Ugh! Now I have to go through the official channel. (Intro) (Oooh) (Verse 1) Thank you for contacting us But first some information We hope this conversation won’t give you too much fuss If you use the right channel When you file a formal complaint (And what is the right channel?) Your words will be on their way To management, just if you’ll (Chorus) Please hold (What?) a representative will be here shortly, ooh Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me I get paid minimum wage No pony trained me for this job I don’t know what to say I’m not prepared for this at all So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted My break is in five minutes But now you’ve put this before me I really don’t want to do this You know it really isn’t easy (This is ridiculous! Why is nopony willing to tell me how I'm supposed to file a complaint?!) (Verse 2) Yes, that sure seems like trouble With neighbors partying late at night That could make one want to cry Now, I hope this won’t befuzzle We’re sorry to hear about your pain But I’m not the right pony to talk to If you want the message to go through You’ll just have to try another way (Chorus) Please hold, a representative will be here shortly, ooh Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me So do you really think That this is my career path? Please don’t please don’t freak I want to put this in the past So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted (I'm sick of you ponies giving me the run-around!) Please stop yelling at me That won’t make it any faster If you could hold, just please This job is such a bastard (Bridge) Hey! Hello, can I speak to the manager? She’s not available? Have her call me back. Thank you. Ughh. (Verse 3) Now if we look within our records There’s only one complaint so far For us, that is no cause for alarm Not much we can do to make it better Of course. If you were to file more complaints There’d be more instances in our system And then we’d be of more assistance But that’ll be another day (Chorus) Please hold, a representative will be here shortly Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me It’s for liability (Yeah, yeah, I get it). So we can show it in a court I hope that you can see If we want to claim in tort So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted Chotto matte just a minute Arigathanks gozaimuch If you could yamete kudon’t I’d daisuki it a bunch Why do I feel like I’m turning Neighponese? Yakamashii… [Flutterrap] Sun is shinin', guess who's flyin' Out 'cause I want that human right in My snatch, the plan will hatch I'm fishin' for an Anonymous catch Gotta get my mouth on that monkey dick Tryin' to find what his fetish is He's playin' hard to get, but I'll bet That with the right scheme his mind will set On me, the freak with the yellow wings And then we'll do all the sexy things Is persistence your fetish, Anon? Socks on hooves, I'm on the move Without sound try to clip clop through Lights are darkened, senses sharpened Eyes on target, good so far then Circle 'round, try to take him down Just kidding, that cutout is cardboard brown Suddenly lights shining through the window It was a set-up; soon I'll be free no More, now there's pigs in my wake Fluttershy, she just can’t catch a break Are socks your fetish, Anon? What a day, I'm on probation Got this collar, neck abrasion Awful nice with a band made for me But it's not enough to withstand this raging horny Break 'em off, now it's Sugarcube Corner Want something that is made to order Got some flan with the goodies on it. My backup plan if he doesn't want it I got that chloro cloth, full stop If not for his crazy skills with that mop Are mops your fetish, Anon? Pop around the corner, then it dawns on her The mop is out and it's heading for her Found me out, and I'm feelin' sorta La la la la, la la la la Is rap your fetish, Anon? [Pinkiepocalyptica] [Verse 1] It came to mind in desperate times--and lands of groove devoid Cruel things on puppet strings and faith and trust destroyed Where ponies' fears of their own peers festered, their spirits breaking In prison wards and under dangling swords of their own making In quiet words that were loudly heard did the elder ones claim That the lessons of the past do hardly last; some things don't change. And I decried in mad reply--how could you state this such? If there's a way to cure this bane, complaining won't do much, ow [Chorus] It's time for you to funk on down To know the truth and get the sound You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing, It's time to move on out It's time for you to know the One And let the funky be your judge You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying, Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk [Verse 2] I had borne the elders' scorn for speaking other ways I walked alone and soon had known for whom I'd search for days I sought the One, the sacred sun, who shines with radiant heat The measure's head, of this I read, and bore the mark of beat I traveled high and far and wide until I found the fabled sacred ground To free our souls and make us whole, not in our sufferings drown A fair exchange I deigned to make with the voices that I heard We'll want no junk; give up the funk and your manna we'll confer, ow [Chorus] It's time for you to funk on down To know the truth and get the sound You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing, It's time to move on out It's time for you to know the One And let the funky be your judge You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying, Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk [Bridge] (Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and let me ride) I regret that I have but one funk to give for my country. So let’s make it work. Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and let me ride One nation united under a groove A groove of the funky, by the funky, for the funky By the power invested in these hooves I petition the one who inspires us to move To bring down the funk. PinkaDelica Diane Pie. Our mainframes have processed thy petition and found thy funk to be adequately groovy for our purpose. Prepare for delivery of funk in T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2... [Verse 3] Now blessed with funk, I moved along to bring it back to town Instead of being piled with-a smiles, I was only faced by frowns But with some face time, they fell in bass line, new children of the One No pony could claim phony the realness of the funk, ow [Chorus] It's time for you to funk on down To know the truth and get the sound You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing, It's time to move on out It's time for you to know the One And let the funky be your judge You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying, Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk (If you hear any noise, it’s just me and the boys, hit me. You gotta hit the band) (Uh, we want the funk, give up the funk, Uh, we need the funk, we gotta have the funk) [I Like Every Mare] {Some names truncated for rhyming.} I was toting my pack towards the horsey gates of fables told When along came an angel dressed in white and clad in shiny gold “If you're going to cross the portal, come with me, we can stride” And so I followed that one angel then we crossed to the other side He asked me: Do you think one mare above the others stands? I said listen bud, I favor every mare in these here lands I like every mare, man I'm an every mare man Mares both rare and fair, man. No man can dare compare man, Of mares I'd like a share man, I like every mare. I like Twilight, Starlight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie Twinkleshine, Shoeshine, Posey Shy, Marble Pie, Plaid Stripes, Clear Skies, Clear Sky, Rainbowshine, Limestone Pie, Electric Sky, Sunshine Smiles, Maud Pie Cotton Sky, Misty Fly, Strawberry Ice, Surprise Perfect Pie, Velvet Light, {Lavender} Sunrise, my oh my Ah, I like every mare, man I'm an every mare man Mares both rare and fair, man. No man can dare compare man, Of mares I'd like a share man, I like every mare. I like Rarity, Minty, Trixie, Cheerilee, Apple Leaves, Jasmine Leaf, Peachy Sweet, White Lightning {Cherry} Jubilee, Fleur de Lis, Silver Berry, Apple Strudely Cherry Berry, Daisy, Lily Valley, Elbow Grease Sprinkle Medley, Harshwhinny, Apple Munchies, {Lipstick} Vanity Pursey Pink, Apple Honey, Berry Sweet, Summer Breeze Yeah, I like every mare, man I'm an every mare man Mares both rare and fair, man. No man can dare compare man, Of mares I'd like a share man, I like every mare. I like Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Vinyl Scratch, Sassaflash Beauty Brass, Frying Pan, Ruby Splash, Whirlwind Romance Shimmy Shake, Mrs. Cake,. Candy Mane, {Cocoa} Caliente Merry May, Raspberry Latte, Sunny Rays, Amber Waves Raspberry Glaze, {Joan} Pommelway, Lily Lace, Masquerade, what else do I have to say Ah, I like every mare, man I'm an every mare man Mares both rare and fair, man. No man can dare compare man, Of mares I'd like a share man, I like every mare. I like Lyra, Octavia, Luna, Celestia, Rara, Junebug, Roseluck, Minty Mocha Sweet Buzz, Butternut, Cloudy Quartz, {Saffron} Masala Helia, Somnambula, Rainbow Stars, Lemon Hearts, Sweetie Drops, Copper Top, Luster Dawn, Carrot Top, Air Pop, Torch Song, nothing wrong. I like every mare, man I'm an every mare man Mares both rare and fair, man. No man can dare compare man, Of mares I'd like a share man, I like every mare. [The Tendrils] [Verse 1] A scourge born from the forest Under fog and haze Crept towards the town as They rested from a busy day Sun and moon lit up the sky Our minds were in a fray Something just wasn’t right Something met us on our way [Chorus] The tendrils sprouted from the ground Choking all their prey Whatever ponies they had found Are trapped in viny cage The tendrils on a savage path For all the trees we pruned They plundered all we had The tendrils’ wrath we knew [Verse 2] The sky was streaked with lightning That pegasi couldn’t tame The toughness of these vine things Put shame to the Apple name Neither could the unicorns With all their magic spells Halt the plunder with their horns Their sorcery had failed [Chorus] The tendrils sprouted from the ground With nothing we could do Only Twilight could save us now Without her we were through The tendrils on a savage path For all the trees we pruned They plundered all we had The tendrils’ wrath we knew [Verse 3] Our saving grace, or so it seemed A cloud-white liquid brew The princess took a little drink To seek a hidden truth To tell the truth, I’m not quite sure What Twilight had seen But we had finally found the cure To save a Tree of Harmony [Chorus] The tendrils sprouted from the ground With twists and turns and bends They did their deed and withered out And met a timely end The tendrils on a savage path For all the trees we pruned They plundered all we had The tendrils’ wrath we knew [Call In The Border Patrol] The border's swarmed, creatures passing through Workers or thugs, we don't know who I think we know they're not sending their best Maybe a few good ones, then there's the rest I'm not a racist, I'll have you know I'm actually really into griffon scones So immigration is sometimes okay But they gotta come in the legal way (Prechorus) Equestria's swarmed by yaks and lings Dragons' scorn and filthy things Rally up the Wonderbolts Call in the Border Patrol... (Chorus) Call in the Border Patrol To save the future of Equestria's soul Call in the Border Patrol Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full Call in the Border Patrol You know that work visa's void and null Call in the Border Patrol 'Cause a nation without borders is none at all They're sending creatures that carry disease They're giving us the POVID-19 You may think they're nice, but then you'll sob When a changeling takes away your acting job So it's the yak's culture to stomp and smash Some cultures are good, and some are trash (trash) You gotta learn the difference, that's the key To make a better world for you and me (Prechorus) Equestria's swarmed by yaks and lings Dragons' scorn and filthy things Rally up the Wonderbolts Call in the Border Patrol... (Chorus) Call in the Border Patrol To save the future of Equestria's soul Call in the Border Patrol Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full Call in the Border Patrol You know that work visa's void and null Call in the Border Patrol 'Cause a nation without borders is none at all (Bridge) You're kidding yourself; if they come at this rate There is no way they'd assimilate Instead they'll just rip up our culture And wealth like a bunch of ravenous vultures We can't pay to feed every single soul It's sad, but you gotta know when to fold So send out the Bolts, strike fast and hard Before we leave with even deeper scars (Chorus) Call in the Border Patrol To save the future of Equestria's soul Call in the Border Patrol Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full Call in the Border Patrol You know that work visa's void and null Call in the Border Patrol 'Cause a nation without borders is none at all Gonna catch 'em all, 'cause she's Rainbow Phantom Gotta catch 'em all, you know it's her destiny [Sigma Mare Grindset] [Intro] Hey, Rainbow, can I talk with you a second? Sorry, Twilight. I'm busy with my grind. Gotta go fast, ya know? We need to talk about what you said to Caramel this morning. Oh, that? Yeah. I might have been a little harsh, but I did what I had to do. Can't let colts distract me from my sigma mare grindset. What the hay is a 'sigma mare grindset'? Well, a sigma mare is a lot like an alpha mare but cooler and more mysterious. Ugh. This is going to be interesting. [Verse 1]. Do stallions I spurn? A misunderstanding. I don’t wanna hurt ‘im, but I ain’t so randy. Respect is earned, don’t need no panhandling. No time for colts in the things I’m planning. I spit bars and I make ‘em plenty, I set bars and I break ‘em, can he? He’s got no cards; he won’t make it standing The only bar he’s set to a breakin’s candy Don’t waste my time ‘cause I’m on a mission I’m not your kind, I beat the competition Don’t get to bitchin’, you’ll find that you’re shittin’, Out of your luck, ‘cause this one ain’t quittin’ It’s futile to try, ya can’t catch my driftin’ Ya out of your mind, while I got a vision Stay in your line, d’ya know who ya dissin? I’m a rare type, I don’t wanna fit in [Chorus] Alpha, beta, not for me Not part of my reality It’s such a waste of energy And I think that you’ll find that I’m not like all the rest of them I’m hotter than the freaking sun Mysterious and aloof but I don’t care if you mind it These colts I got no time for, So they can go just cry more, I’m shootin’ for the high score ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset I’m building passive income I’m reading online wisdom Get ready ‘cause here it comes I’m on my sigma grindset [Break] Rainbow, I’m pretty sure “mysterious and aloof” are the last things anypony would describe you as. Eh. Sigma Rule #35 say don’t let the haters and trolls tell you what to do. Make your own path. That’s why I’m on my grind. [Verse 2] What separates you and me? You search rates on Travelocity, I lift weights for my travel velocity. I dodge dates, cause simpin’ I don’t wanna be. I move plates, and these colts all over me. Out of my way, ‘cause I don’t have time for these. I fly great, you slow like you had a lobotomy Clowns shoot the shit, I widen the rift, I’m tellin’ you this, I’m getting more fit, You already quit, keep eatin’ the clit, I don’t give a shit, I’m Bitcoinin’ rich. We are not the same, fool! I don’t play your game, fool! Self-select out of the gene pool! Yuh! Yuh! [Chorus] Alpha, beta, not for me Not part of my reality It’s such a waste of energy And I think that you’ll find that I’m not like all the rest of them I’m hotter than the freaking sun Mysterious and aloof but I don’t care if you mind it These colts I got no time for, So they can go just cry more, I’m shootin’ for the high score ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset I’m building passive income I’m reading online wisdom Get ready ‘cause here it comes I’m on my sigma grindset [Break] Rainbow, I know you like this kind of motivational video stuff, but I don’t really think this is healthy for you or your relationships. Mare, fuck you. What? [Verse 3] Splittin’ these rhymes like it’s yoga, Blowin’ your mind, I composed the Words you know I make the most of My graces from high, cause this life has chose her Keep my friends close and my enemies closer Stay the close colts, do I want them? I guess that I don’t and I don’t ‘cause I’m savin’ my oats, got a closed purse Sharper than most, not a dull spur Simp for a colt, don’t even know her Gonna stay home, while I go put fear in my foes So go clear or get hurt ‘cause I break bones, Not a coaster, I won’t wait for The slow learn while I make dough As the time goes, do the fakes fold or they break through? ‘Cause you’ll find out, where the cake goes, when you’re late so check the date, no? (Check it) [Chorus] Alpha, beta, not for me Not part of my reality It’s such a waste of energy And I think that you’ll find that I’m not like all the rest of them I’m hotter than the freaking sun Mysterious and aloof but I don’t care if you mind it These colts I got no time for, So they can go just cry more, I’m shootin’ for the high score ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset I’m building passive income I’m reading online wisdom Get ready ‘cause here it comes I’m on my sigma grindset [Sunshine, Rainbow, White Unicorn (Wowkie Zhang parody)] You know, Twilight, I've been digging into all kinds of musical genres recently. Punk rock, synthwave, trap. But I'm looking to expand my horizons to the global market. You're expanding some horizons alright. And what bigger market is there than China? Oh, no. And what's really neat is that there's this one Chinese singer who wears a shirt with me on it in a music video. Rainbow Dash? A global phenomenon? Can you believe it? Rainbow, how many social credit points is Xi Jinping giving you to say this? Now, let me tell you, I love the beauty of the Chinese language, and it really comes out in this song. You don't speak a lick of Chinese, Rainbow Dash. Watch this, Twilight. I have a really bad feeling about this. (Ni shi neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh yang guang cai hong xiao bai ma di di-ka di di da Wo shi neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh yang guang cai hong xiao bai ma di di-ka di di da) What? What the fuck are you doing? (hyperventilating) HOLY SHIT! STOP THIS NOW! I'M HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK! I'M GOING TO BE PERMANENTLY UNEMPLOYABLE!