>"Would you like to see the bird pony migration with me?"
>No, no you wouldn't.
"Sure."
>But of course you're too much of a doormat yourself to say that to her.
>She brightens up.
>"Wonderful! I'll get everything ready! Oh, this is so exciting!"
>You smile and nod.
>You were pretty damn sure it wouldn't be.
>Fluttershy squeaks and runs upstairs, leaving you alone in the first floor of her home.
>And here you thought you were just going to have a casual breakfast today.
>And though Fluttershy was pretty cool, you usually just came for the free food.
>Even though Celestia sent your ass to Twilight to be "preserved," to her, it didn't necessarily mean regular meals.
>Even though it fucking should.
>You sigh and walk over to the couch.
>Angel instinctively starts trying to kick your shit.
>You grab him and put him on the highest birdhouse you see, then resume lounging.
>He freaks out and starts squeaking.
>You bust out that Walkman and plug your shit in.
>You never really used the shit, but after Twilight blew up your fucking phone and laptop, it was the only thing you had to ignore ponies with.
>It was also now the only thing you had from Earth.
>You raise the volume and stare blankly at Angel flailing around everywhere, focused more on your memories of home.
>You close your eyes and relax.
>
>"I'm ready!"
"..."
>"Anon, I'm ready!"
"..."
>"Anon, a-are you alright?"
"..."
>"A-Angel, what's wrong with Anon?! And why are you up there?!"
>She flocks to your side.
>"Anon! Are you breathing- I don't think he's breathing!! ANON!"
>She shakes you.
>You lazily open your eyes and yawn, then turn everything off.
"Jeez, how long was I out? So, you ready, then?"
>She looks confused and frightened.
>Her eyes are all watery.
"Uuh, something wrong?"

>
>Well, here you are.
>Bird pony migration.
>Still no idea what the fuck a bird pony is, but Fluttershy talked about how amazing they were on the walk over here.
>She set down a picnic blanket on top of a hill and put her binoculars on.
>"It should be any second now! We came just in time!"
"I didn't come anywhere, what are you talking about?"
>She ignores you, either out of excitement, or because she had no idea what you just said.
>She continues staring.
>"Oh my gosh, there they are! I was right!"
>You stare at the area she was pointing at.
>You see a Pegasus fly out.
>Then another.
>Then a bunch.
>Was this some sort of fucking joke or something?
>And if those Pegasi were migrating, why the hell wasn't she?
>Hell, you didn't even KNOW Pegasi migrated.
"Is Twilight migrating, too? You know, being half and half?"
>Fluttershy turns from her binoculars and looks at you like you're a fucking retard.
>"Twilight's not a bird pony!"
"What about Rainbow?"
>[Pitiful horse noises intensify]
>"Rainbow's not one, either, Anon."
"What do you mean she's not? She's a Pegasus, and those are Pegasi! And why aren't YOU migrating if this is a thing?"
>"...Those aren't Pegasi, Anon."
>You stare at them for a moment.
>Those were fucking Pegasi.
"Yes they ARE! Fucking LOOK at them!"
>She flinches, then develops a stern look.
>"Don't be so loud! You'll scare them!"
"BUT THEY'RE JUST FUCKING PEGASI-"
>"SHH! Watch."
>You cross your arms and huff, watching Fluttershy fish around her bag.
>You swear, this was worse than trying to fucking prove that human technology wasn't a lie to Twilight.
>In fact, that's how you lost laptop and phone.
>...Purple bitch.
>Flutterbutter pulls out a small container and empties its contents a little ways in front of you both.
>Breadcrumbs?
>What the fuck kind of Pegasi would come down for a fucking-
>Three of them drop down and start eating the crumbs.
>Fluttershy stifles a cheer and busts out her camera.

>One Pegasus was black, with a red mane and a white pattern on her head and wings.
>Another was a light blue, with white and orange on her bottom half, and an even lighter blue mane.
>The third had a dark blue mane with a few black and white areas, and a coat similar to Rainbow's.
>They practically destroy the crumbs and fly off.
>Fluttershy gasps and watches them in awe, before turning to a grey Pegasus getting ready to land next to us.
>"Oh my gosh, here comes another one!"
>She puts a slice of bread in your hand.
>"Feed her!"
>The grey Pegasus lands.
>She looks around at the grass for crumbs.
>Then she turns to you.
>Her head tilts to the side.
>She stares at the bread in your hand.
"You, uh, want it?"
>The Pegasus doesn't respond.
>You tear the bread in half and hold it out to her.
>She slowly walks over to you and takes it.
>She throws her head back and swallows it.
>...Just like a bird would.
>You tear a smaller piece and hold it in your hand.
>Meanwhile, Fluttershy spots a colorful Pegasus and turns away from you, snapping away.
>The Pegasus gets a bit closer to you, then pecks at the crumb.
>...Well, the closest thing to pecking you can get with a muzzle.
>She coos.
>You pause.
>She literally COOed.
>Like, PIGEON COO.
"The fuck?"

>She backs away a bit and watches you.
>"Anon! Don't be mean!"
>You turn back to her.
>You hold out another crumb.
>She pecks it.
"You are the weirdest Pegasus I've ever met..."
>"It's not a Pegasus, Anon!"
"-Oh whatever."
>Then the pony flies away.
"...Well that was fucking weird."
>
>Finally after taking thousands of goddamn pictures, Fluttershy was ready to leave.
>You wrapped the picnic blanket up and started following Fluttershy down the hill.
>Luckily, the migration thing was only about an hour.
>Not nearly as gay and boring as the butterfly migration, that's for sure.
>You take a few steps, then hear a coo.
>A pigeon coo.
>You slowly turn around.
>That bird pony thing is standing there, staring at you.
"Uuh..."
>You fish into your pocket and throw the bread you had left at her hooves.
>She looks down at it and starts eating.
>Weird ass thing...
>
>The walk to Flutter's house was short and uneventful.
>Soon, you found yourself lying on her couch again, while she made some tea for you both.
>You once again bust out your shitty Walkman and listen to them sick Earth tunes.
>Then you feel something staring at you.
>You pause for a moment, then turn, expecting to see Angel glaring at you like a bitch.
>Instead, it's the bird pony.
"HOLY FUCK!!"
>You fall off the couch and on your face.
>Fluttershy comes running out.
>"WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG, ANON?"
>You merely point at the window.
>She runs over to it and looks at it.
>"Umm, what's wrong with it?"
>You stand up and turn to the window.
>Nothing.
>...How the hell?

"Th-there, b-but..."
>"Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine! I, I just... I don't know..."
>Your eyes linger on the window.
>
>After tea with Fluttershy, you were finally on your way back home.
>Throughout the entire walk, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, though.
>You tried casually glancing around, as to avoid any comments or panic from the ponies.
>The last time you talked about Freddy Krueger, the entire town went apeshit.
>You didn't want anything like that again.
>Though the attention from all the mares in town was not unwelcome.
>You practically sprint into your home when you spot it.
>You lock the shit out of it and close all the blinds.
>Immediately you walk into your room and lie on your bed.
>And, immediately, you hear a tap on your window.
>You turn to the side.
>It's the pigeon pony.
>"...Coo."
"-AAAAAHHH!"
>You struggle and fall off your bed, wrapped all up in sheets.
>You try to crawl into the other room unnoticed.
>"Coo!"
>Your throat becomes dry.
>Your heart starts pounding.
>Your breathing is labored.
>...Then you realize it's just a bird at your window.
>You groan and stand up.
>The pony's just sitting.
>After glaring at her for a moment, you finally walk up to window and tap on it, trying to scare her.
>You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep with her just sitting there.
>But she doesn't move.
>Instead, her muzzle begins following your hand.
>She licks the window.
"Ew, don't do that! Stop!"
>She coos.
>You sigh and open the window up.
"Will you just fly away alrea-"
>She tears through the screen and lands on your bed.

"H-hey! Get off the bed!"
>She coos and gets comfortable on your bed.
>And by comfortable, you mean she starts making some makeshift nest out of your pillows and blankets.
>You can just imagine what she's done outside.
"Oh my god, can you at least fucking shower?"
>She cocks her head and coos.
"No, not 'coo'. SH-OW-ER."
>She coos.
"Jesus Christ."
>You walk up and pick her up.
>She doesn't struggle in the slightest.
>It's like she's already used to you.
>Just as you turn to throw her out of your house, she starts nuzzling your neck.
>She coos again.
>But it almost sounds... happy.
>Damn you and your doormat-y ways, Anon.
>You walk instead into your bathroom and place her gently on the ground.
>She takes some nearby towels and starts making a nest.
"N-no! I just washed those!"
>She stops and looks at you.
>You gently wiggle your finger before her.
"Nooo towel nest. Bad bird thingy."
>She makes a small peep.
"That's right, no towel nest shit!"
>She peeps again.
>"Good, peeping pigeon pony...thing."
>You start up the tub with some warm water and watch it fill up.
>She comes by and rests her front hooves on the rim of it, watching in awe.
>You get a pretty good look of her-
>-MOVING ON.
>But those are DEFINITELY not bird-parts.

>When the tub is finally filled fairly well, you shut the valve.
>She chirps, then starts pawing at it.
"Nope, no more water."
>She looks up at you and coos.
"Noooo wah-terr."
>She peeps.
"Okay, now you need to wash yourself in here."
>You point at the tub.
"You get in, IN the tub."
>You do a little diving motion.
"Then you wash!"
>You dip your hand in the water and splash a little bit.
>She peeps, and you slowly lift and place her in the water.
>Immediately, she unfurls her wings and starts splashing everywhere.
>You forgot how birds cleaned themselves.
>And this pony pretty much WAS a bird already.
>She dips her head in and ruffles her feathers in the tub.
>Water splashes out and hits you in the face.
"-ACK! NO! NO, STOP IT!"
>She pauses and coos at you.
"Don't bathe like that! Not here! Just- ugh, stay still."
>She peeps, letting you grab the loofah and body washing stuff for her.
>You squirt a good amount onto it, then lather the shit out of it.
>She watches you attentively.
>Once it's up to your standards, you bring it over to her.
"Alrighty, just hold still."
>You slowly reach it over to her back and start there.
>She flinches, then calms down.
>You gently begin rubbing her coat.

>She peeps and looks at you while you do.
>You start cleaning her chest when you're done.
>Her eyes follow the loofah the majority of the time.
>You take off your socks and shit and roll up your pant legs before sitting beside the tub.
>You finish cleaning her chest, then pick up a front hoof and put it on your lap to scrub it down.
>She chirps as you do.
>Only a few hours maybe, and this pony was already growing on you.
>You finish one hoof and move to the other.
>She lifts it up and places it on your lap without you even needing to do anything.
"Wow. Quick learner."
>Maybe this pony ACTS like a bird, but doesn't have the knowledge of one?
>What if it was only a language barrier between you two?
>You dwell on the thought as you finish her hooves.
>The next step for you would be her wittle pony tummy.
>...Did you just fucking say that?
>You shake the thought, then pick her up fireman style.
>You gently set her in the tub and reach over to scrub her, but she slides down from your grasp.
>You move her up again, and the same thing happens.
>She's any lower, it'll be a bitch to comfortably scrub her down, and if the water's any lower, there won't be any.
>You think for a moment, then pick her up again and set her in your lap.
>It gets some water on your pants.
>You set her back down and instinctively remove them.
>Then you realize that there's a female literally right next to you.
>THEN you realize that she probably doesn't even understand there being anything wrong with you having your pants off.
>You fold them and get back into the tub, then put the pony in your lap again.
>And technically, this pony was a wild animal.
>Though, the way she easily let you pick her up and scrub her down said otherwise.
>An interesting one, for sure.
>You start washing her stomach.
>She chirps a lot during.
>You keep trying to avert your eyes from her horse parts meanwhile, but it begins to get really difficult.
>Then you finish.
>And you've only got one more place to clean...

>Her hindquarters...
>O-oh boy...
>You start by gently washing the bottom of her hind legs.
>You try not to think about getting kicked in the face.
>It's difficult, but soon enough, you finish them both.
>You move the loofah over to her rump and slowly start with circles.
>She chirps.
>It's a bit lower pitched.
>Then you slowly move downwards to... there...
>She stifles another chirp.
>She's still in your lap the whole time.
>You think you see her face getting red.
>A leg twitches.
>You feel yourself pitching a small tent.
>You try to will it down, but it's no use.
>It's still standing.
>You start slowly running circles around the spot.
>She slightly grinds into you.
>Smart or not, this pony knew what she wanted.
>And you were fighting back supplying her with it.
>Taking advantage of a wild pony like this...
>It wouldn't go down very well with you.
>You start brushing up and down.
>She chirps.
>Her face is definitely red.
>You finish with the circles and stop.
>She just looks at you with pleading eyes.
>Then she actually gets up and sits on you.
>She's extremely close to the danger zone.
>She clings to your neck and chirps again.
>Okay, there was no way she was just 'a wild animal' now.
>You reach for your boxers, then stop.
>She stares at your hand.
>You still shouldn't do this.
>You shouldn't.
>She looks disappointed.
"Maybe when you're actually able to TALK to me, yeah?

>You place her back in the tub and grab the shampoo.
>You were gonna need a really fucking cold shower after this.
>
"There ya go, all squeaky clean and dry!"
>She chirps, and... smiles?
>Sweet Satan, this proves tha-
>Well, you've seen dogs look happy before.
>But they ARE intelligent.
>Just, you know, not human level intelligent.
>But you could probably teach her a few things.
>You look over at a clock.
>Time to fucking SLEEP!
>Your favorite time of day.
>You throw the towel in your hamper and walk outside the bathroom.
>She follows you into your room and hops in her nest.
"Hey, I need a blanket too, you know!"
>She tilts her head and chirps.
>Damn.
>You were hoping for some kind of miracle moment where she understood what you said.
>You get on your bed and sigh.
>She peers out from her nest and peeps.
"Goodnight to you too."
>She peeps again.
"What?"
>She pauses, then peeps again.
"Yeah, well, goodnight then, I guess, PEEP."
>She tilts her head and peeps.
>
>That was possibly the worst sleep you've ever had in your entire fucking life.
>You peel your eyes open and see only grey.
>The pony's lying on top of you.
>She's breathing on your neck.
>And drooling.
>You can feel it all over you.
"Ew, ew, oh god..."
>You can only stay still as you feel her saliva crawling down you.
>Then you feel something else.
>...Oh god.
>She's grinding you.
>It's getting all over your pants.
"Jesus Christ, I don't remember pigeons being so goddamn horny all the time!"
>You try to slowly slip out from under her, but can't.
>Not without waking her up, of course.
>And the last time you woke a pony up, you got three books to the face.
>Though, you DID use an air horn...
>She tweets and gasps a little bit.
>Your beautiful pants...

>You feel Anon Jr. coming in uninvited.
>And your pants are unzipped.
>You know, it makes midnight pissing much easier.
>But you're just glad you don't go commando.
>Though, you're REALLY close to being, you know... IN there.
>Well, you're actually ALREADY there, but your underwear's the only thing in the way.
>It's also a bit tempting to just...
>No, no, goddamn it, dick.
>You've gone pony-less this long, you can go longer.
>...Not the best choice of words.
>Then you hear knocking at the door.
>She starts lazily waking up.
>HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!
>You hop out from under her like a pro and zip them pant- actually, you should fucking change!
>You leap into the closet and throw on them new pants.
>It's good to buy in bulk sometimes.
>You come out and see her all red and covering her parts with the sheets.
>She peeps a few times, as if telling you somethi-
>No, just bird talk.
>No way that she's that smart...
>-Fuck, right, door!
>You leave her peeping and making bird sounds and head for the door.
>It's Fluttershy.
"Eey, Flutterbutter! What can I do ya for?"
>"Would you like to see the rest of the bird pony migration with me?"
"Oh, sure, yeah, I'll- wait,'rest'?"
>She nods.
>"Yesterday was the migrating of all the female bird ponies for a mate! Today, all the full families will take flight!"
"Uh... m-mate?"
>"Uh huh!"
"W-wow, I'm really interested in that! So... can you tell me what the bird ponies usually do when they find a mate?"
>"Well, depending on the species they're crossed after, they might do a dance, or nuzzle you, or-"
"Nuzzle?"
>She nods.
"Y-you mean, like-"
>You both hear a tweet.
>Fluttershy pauses.
>"Was... was that-"
>She chirps.

"...Woooaaah, my stomach is making some WEIRD sounds! I must be REALLY hungry, ah heh heh..."
>"...Your stomach makes those noises when you're hungry?"
"Pft, yeah, of course!... It's a human thing; you wouldn't get it."
>Fluttershy just quizzically stares at you.
"Yeeaah, heh, you know us humans, always-"
>You hear another peep.
>Then the pony in question flies on your shoulders.
>She peeps again.
>She rests her head on top of yours.
"Fuck."
>Fluttershy backs away a bit.
>"Anon? W-why-"
"I don't know, okay? She followed me home yesterday, and I kinda just kept her."
>She blinks.
>"J-just 'kept' her?"
"Well, yeah, I mean, look at this face!"
>You grab the pony from your shoulders and hold her under an arm, squeezing her cheeks.
"Isn't she just adowable?"
>She giggles.
>Well, you think she does.
>Flutterbutter's just staring at you.
>"S-so, you're her MATE?"
"Well, I dunno. Sure, she DID nuzzle me or whatever, and may've-"
>"Bird ponies usually aren't that comfortable with regular ponies..."
"What do you mean, 'comfortable'?"
>You pick the pony up and hold her in your arms like a baby.
>You rub her tummy with a hand.
>You just couldn't resist that shit.
>She looks so fluffy.
>"Th-that. That's comfortable."
>You look at the pony in your arms.
"Hmm. Well, maybe she's a LITTLE comfortable with me."
>"H-has she tried to... y-you know?"
>You stare blankly at Fluttershy for a moment.
>Then it clicked.
"-OOOh, get in my pants? Yup, yup, plenty of that yesterday."
>"A-and you DO k-know it's...THAT season for them, right?"
>You continue rubbing with your hand while you think.
"Well, shit, now I do. Isn't that the season where all the mares go crazy for dick and shit? Like when you came by my house almost everyday asking for me to-"
>"-PLEASE d-don't talk about that..."
"-Ey, just saying, I would've, if you weren't so goddamn ki-"
>"-I GOTTA GO NOW!-"
>She runs away.
"...Kinky bitch."
>You walk back inside.