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One-Off Trash

By PlaceholderIsTaken
Created: 2020-12-18 12:15:34
Expiry: Never

  1. >War Is Hell
  2.  
  3. >The battle has waged for weeks, maybe even months with no ground being gained for either side
  4. >At first, Twilight was willing to take in a few of you
  5. >When the flow expanded though, she evicted you all
  6. >Now, there are hundreds of you
  7. >Homeless, wandering the forests and the edge of town to find something
  8. >Something to give you a life beyond vagrancy
  9. >The orange fillies took it both the worst and the best
  10. >They retreated into the Everfree to start up a society of their own, only coming back to gather up the rest of you to their hideout
  11. >When you all got there, you found an entire compound complete with fortifications and makeshift weaponry
  12. >Some of the unicorns even managed to devise some powerful magical weapons and construct basic firearms for everyone else
  13. >They were content to continue with the lives they carved out here, but one earth filly had other ideas
  14. >(S)he was the leader of the revolution
  15. >An unnamed green anon from a nonspecific background who was fed up with the treatment that everyone was receiving
  16. >Her(his) cries for change galvanized the hundreds-strong horde of prepubescent ponies to an action that would change Ponyville forever
  17. >The preparation lasted for a month
  18. >Weapons were mass produced, armor was fashioned from the hide of a felled hydra, and fillies were drilled into soldiers
  19. >Then, the fateful day arrived
  20. >The day when hell rose up to grab that quaint little town by the balls
  21. >Out of the forest you all marched in rank, pegasi performing overwatch while unicorns and the contentfags provided defensive support
  22. >You all marched up to the steps of Twilight's castle and demanded an unconditional surrender
  23. >She refused, opting to project a shield around the castle instead
  24. >You were prepared for this
  25. >Your leader calls up the contentfags to breach this wall, and it shatters under their combined magical force
  26. >Resuming your march, this impromptu legion storms the castle to find Twilight
  27. >After clearing the entire area, the search turns up nothing
  28. >Some of the unicorns decide to sweep for magical residue and discover telltale signs of teleportation
  29. >Twilight ran
  30. >You all took this lull to celebrate and appreciate some of the modern commodities you all missed in the mean time
  31. >Running water, real food, beds and ways to get clean
  32. >Little did you all know that this was just the start
  33. >The next morning at dawn, the royal army reared its ugly head
  34. >The first battle was a rout with you slaughtering them, but this was just the advance party
  35. >Fortifications were quickly thrown up around the town as you all scrambled to create a perimeter
  36. >The brains of the operation and your leader shored up inside the castle and created a nerve center with new arrivals from the lull being trained there
  37. >Those not fit for combat or fortification duties after that first battle were used to move supplies
  38. >Some civilians had to be physically removed, but this is a matter of pride and justice now
  39. >Justice for those who made it to Equestria but didn't make it through the trying times before
  40. >Pride in what you've achieved in the little time you've spent here
  41. >The fortifications go up smoothly and supplies are distributed before the rest of the army shows
  42. >Things were looking hopeful
  43. >Your magical weaponry was able to overwhelm their meager defenses and they had no knowledge of gunpowder
  44. >The army's initial assault was crumpled and torn apart like a paper tank in a blender
  45. >However, they were prepared for this too
  46. >The advance party had somehow gotten word to them about your equipment, so they had brought the best at their disposal
  47. >Powerful unicorns to create a magical dead-zone around the town
  48. >Heavy enchanted armor to take gunfire
  49. >Siege equipment to starve you out, if necessary
  50. >That was weeks ago
  51. >Somehow you all have survived to continue the combat, but resources are beginning to run low
  52. >The walls are getting weaker and weaker
  53. >Every day, more fillies come to the medical area and can't be treated
  54. >Loss is imminent, and with what you all have done, you know that no prisoners will be taken
  55. >However, you all will still fight tooth and nail to keep it
  56. >Even with your limited resources, they still take three casualties for every one of yours
  57. >Your leader and the other generals now spend all their time in the castle, trying to find a way out of this pit
  58. >Word hasn't come back from them yet, and rumors are circulating that they committed suicide to escape punishment
  59. >Finally, an ear-splitting crack reverberates through the wreckage of the once-lively town stirring all who hear it and sending many into a panic
  60. >The Equestrian Army has breached the wall
  61.  
  62. >If Tt Weren't For You Meddling Fillies
  63.  
  64. >Be Filly
  65. >It's pretty late on Halloween night
  66. >After sorting through your haul and digging in as much as Twilight would let you, you and the other fillies are all put to bed
  67. >However, since all of you just got done eating roughly half a pound of candy, none of you are sleeping
  68. >You're just lying awake in the darkened room, but many other fillies are still messing around despite the fact that Spike's been stationed inside the room
  69. >Sure, he's doing his best to calm down the other fillies, but there's only one of him and fifty-something of them
  70. >Eventually, one of the other fillies ends up shouting over all the other noise and grabbing all of your attention
  71. >"HEY, WE SHOULD GO OUTSIDE AND TRY TO FIND SOME COOL STUFF!"
  72. >And like most cliched moments in any movie, everyone stops in their tracks and stares at her
  73. >"You know, like a ghost or something! Halloween's not over until we wake up tomorrow and it's Friday, so why not?"
  74. >Huh...
  75. >She has a point
  76. >You know what, fuck it
  77. >You're not going to sleep anyway with the sugar-high you're letting stagnate inside you, so why not burn it off?
  78. "I'm in."
  79. >At these words, the bewildered stare that Spike had fixed on your now-accomplice is fixed on you
  80. [p]>"Count us in too!"[/p]
  81. >A pair of fillies that look like they were *messing around* under the covers up until this moment are where the voice came from
  82. >Again, Spike's glare shifts over to the newest members of the party
  83. >"Anyone else?"
  84. >OG filly speaks up again, but no more replies come...
  85. >... Except Spike
  86. [o]>"You all do realize that Twilight will kill all of you if you do this?"[/o]
  87. >"Come on, Spike. If we cared what Twilight thought, we wouldn't be organizing this right now."
  88. [o]>"Still, even if you don't care, I'm not letting this happen!"[/o]
  89. >"And what are you going to do? There's four of us to you. If you try to stop one of us, the other three will rescue them and leave anyway. If you go get Twilight, we'll all be gone when you get back here."
  90. >Spike tries to respond, but cuts himself off a few times before growling in frustration
  91. [o]>"Fine. If you all insist on going, then I'm going with you!"[/o]
  92. >Oh
  93. >This wasn't expected
  94. >OG was the first to recover from the shock of this announcement
  95. >"Welcome to the crew! That makes us an even five, since no one else wanted to join."
  96. >She throws a glance across every other filly in the room at that last statement
  97. >"Anyway, let's go; we're burning moonlight!"
  98. >One successful blanket-rope-escape later, you all are outside and on the hunt for the paranormal
  99. >Spike is tailing you all and trying to make sure nothing draws the group too far from the castle, but that's clearly not happening
  100. [o]>"You know, we could still get back to the castle before Twilight realizes we're gone."[/o]
  101. >"Yeah, but we haven't even found anything cool yet!"
  102. [o]>"I don't know, I think some of those shadows back there were pretty spooky."[/o]
  103. "Weak sauce. Besides, we just left."
  104. [o]>"Exactly! We went outside, now we go back before Twilight finds out and punishes us all."[/o]
  105. [p]>"Punishment is temporary, the bonds made on adventures are permanent.""[/p]
  106. [o]>(audible sigh)[/o]
  107. >With most of Spike's grumbling left behind you all, the party continues on into town
  108. >After some more searching and tooling around, you eventually see a non-anonymous filly
  109. >Odd, why is she running?
  110. >wHY IS NIGHTMARE MOON CHASING HER
  111. >After all of you pull yourselves from your respective hiding spots, OG gets a huge grin and turns towards you all
  112. >"Gentlemares and dragon, I believe we've found our purpose."
  113. [o]>"Oh no. No, no no nonono NO! We are NOT getting involved in this! We are going back to the castle and forgetting this!"[/o]
  114. "Nah mate, we're already in a position to do the right thing here."
  115. [p]<"Yeah, what would Twilight do?"[/p]
  116. >Spike goes silent and thinks for a hot minute before answering
  117. [o]>"... Yeah, I guess we can't really just let that happen."[/o]
  118. >Taking a triumphant step forward, OG continues on with the plan
  119. >"Alright, so what we're gonna do is first, try to figure out what the hell's going on. Then, we perform a citizen's arrest and notify the authorities. Basically, we're gonna Scooby-Doo the shit out of this jerk."
  120. "Okay, so then how do we figure out who or what we're dealing with?"
  121. [p]>"How about we split up and search for clues?"[/p]
  122. [o]>"No, we're already doing something stupid and dangerous. I'm not letting it get any more stupid and dangerous."[/o]
  123. "Don't worry, Spike. The gang always splits into two groups in Scooby-Doo, so I assume that's what happens here."
  124. >"Alright, it's decided; now all we have to figure out who everyone is."
  125. [p]>"I call Velma!"[/p]
  126. [p]<"I'm Daphne for sure."[/p]
  127. "I guess I'm fine with Shaggy."
  128. >"And since I'm the leader, I'm Fred."
  129. [p]<"Tough luck, Spike, you're left with Scooby."[/p]
  130. [o]>"I don't even know what's going on."[/o]
  131. >"And you don't have to, just take Shaggy and go follow them. Velma, Daphne and I will go the other way to see if we can find anything."
  132. >Before Spike can protest further, you two are left on a sidewalk watching the other fillies running away
  133. >"WE'LL MEET Up back here in ?????? ??n?????"
  134. >And they're gone
  135. "Well, let's get a move on. That filly won't save herself, you know."
  136. >Without waiting for Spike to respond, you start running off where you saw them all go
  137. >Spike notices this pretty quickly and starts running after you, eventually pulling up alongside you
  138. >You two navigate your way through the town, following the sounds of commotion as best you can
  139. >Eventually, you two find a costumed filly cowering in an alley with her eyes tightly shut
  140. >Taking initiative, you tap her on a shoulder and help her up
  141. >She doesn't get up, but she does open her eyes
  142. [p]>"Is she gone?"[/p]
  143. "We didn't see her when we got here, if that's what you're asking."
  144. [o]>"And what are you doing out so late?"[/o]
  145. [p]>"I was still doing some trick-or-treating to get even more candy, but when we were going home, she started chasing us."[/p]
  146. "Any idea why?"
  147. [p]>"No, just that she cornered me here and then left, I guess."[/p]
  148. [o]>"You should still head home, it's getting late and your parents are probably worried."[/p]
  149. [p]>"Yeah, I'm not doing any more candy hunting tonight. Also, I dropped my bag along the way, so I couldn't even if I wanted to"[/p]
  150. "Dang, tough luck."
  151. >You and Spike spend some time escorting the scared filly back to her home before heading back to the established meeting place
  152.  
  153. >Be the filly designated Fred
  154. >Be running alongside Daphne and Velma towards where the filly and Nightmare came from
  155. >You're all making good progress in what you think is the right direction when you all see something overhead
  156. >A shadow
  157. >A pony shadow
  158. >It only passes over you all, but slowly enough that you all can clearly see who it is and where they're going
  159. >It's none other than the Nightmare, and she's heading off towards the edge of town
  160. >You all silently confirm the next course of action, and change your course to follow that mare
  161. >After following as best you can for a few minutes, you all end up with a cold trail
  162. >That is, until Daphne finds something
  163. [p]<"Hey, I think you all will want to see this."[/p]
  164. "Yeah, what is it?"
  165. >You and Velma trot over, eager to see this discovery
  166. >It's a feather
  167. >A black and blue feather
  168. >This is certainly an interesting find
  169. >As you ponder the ramifications of this discovery, Velma chimes in
  170. [p]>"I think I know whodunit!"[/p]
  171. >This catches the other two of you off-guard
  172. "Already?"
  173. [p]>"Well, I have a guess. We'll need to catch this jerk to know for sure."[/p]
  174. [p]<"Any ideas on how to do that?"[/p]
  175. [p]>"Unfortunately, no."[/p]
  176. >You think you have an idea, though
  177. >You're definitely going to need some help with it, but you have an idea
  178. "I think I've got that covered, but we're going to need Shaggy and Scooby to do it."
  179. >With that statement, you and Daphne head back to the meeting zone with Velma following, feather in mouth
  180.  
  181. >Be the filly known as Shaggy again
  182. >The others were already waiting for you two when you got there, and both Fred and Velma have stupid grins this time
  183. "I can already tell you all found something, spill it."
  184. >"We found a clue!"
  185. [p]>"Fnd I ffgfred fut whff fhf Nffghtmrre iff!"[/p]
  186. >After spending a second wondering why Velma's talking like that, you notice the feather
  187. [o]>"Is that the clue?"[/o]
  188. >And Spike noticed too
  189. [p]<"Yeah, but she won't tell us what it means until we've caught the culprit."[/p]
  190. >"So that just means we need a trap, and I've got an idea!"
  191. [o]>"Can we not just tell the police and give them the feather as evidence?"[/o]
  192. >Fred gives Spike a challenging stare before giving his retort
  193. >"Where's the fun in that? We've already come this far, why not seal the deal and figure it out ourselves?"
  194. [o]>(another audible sigh)[/o]
  195. [o]>"Alright, what do we need for this trap..."[/o]
  196. >we need to give one of us a benis
  197. >No brain, stop shitposting!
  198. >Fred's talking and we're missing stuff
  199. >"... sheets, and candy."
  200. >Huh?
  201. >"And we can find all of what we don't have at the castle, let's go! Also, Shaggy, Scooby, you two can tell us what happened on your half of the adventure while we're there."
  202. >You all run back to the castle to find a few fillies staring out the window, presumably waiting for your return
  203. >Upon seeing you, one of them yells something into the now-bright room and the blanket ladder comes tumbling down again
  204. >Fred gets there first, wasting no time in yelling up his demands
  205. >"Hey, we're gonna need a few more blankets and some spare candy! I know one of you has some stashed in there somewhere, so hand it down!"
  206. [g]<"Why do you need candy and blankets?"[/g]
  207. >"We're doing some Scooby-Doo stuff, we need them to set a trap!"
  208. >The filly in the window debates this before yelling down a reply and then ducking back inside
  209. [g]<"Alright, but you all better have a good story for us all when you get back up here and I better get my candy back!"[/g]
  210. >A few minutes and an explanation of yours and Spike's mini-adventure later, a few tied white blankets carrying candy fall to the grass
  211. >"Nice, now let's set this all up!"
  212. >As you all head back into town to set up, Fred explains his plan
  213. >"Alright, so Scooby and Shaggy will be pretending to be trick-or-treaters heading home with candy, and they'll each be wearing a sheet as a disguise. When the Nightmare starts chasing them, they'll lead her back to an alley that Velma, Daphne and I will be waiting in, we'll throw another blanket on top of her like a net, and pin her to the ground!"
  214. >And almost as soon as the words have left Fred's mouth, Spike is already protesting
  215. >Well, at least you know what that other stuff you missed was
  216. [o]>"No, we are not letting any of us serve as [i]live bait[/i] to some strange mare! Has nopony ever taught any of you about 'stranger danger'?[/o]
  217. >"Don't worry, Spike, you can help Shaggy stay safe from the stranger since you'll be bait with him."
  218. [o]>"THIS JUST MAKES IT WORSE!"[/o]
  219. [p]<"Well, would you do it for a gemstone?"[/p]
  220. [o]>"... Huh?"[/o]
  221. [p]<"I can still pick the ones that were on my costume off and give them to you."[/p]
  222. >Spike goes quiet for a minute
  223. [o]>"I'm not doing it for any less than five."[/o]
  224. [p]<"Done."[/p]
  225. >Spike nods in agreement before turning to you
  226. [o]>"Are you okay with being bait?"[/o]
  227. "Yeah, I'm pretty confident in my running ability."
  228. [o]>"You don't have to if you don't want to."[/o]
  229. "It's fine, I'm out here to burn off the sugar I ate anyway!"
  230. [o]>"Fair enough."[/o]
  231. >Conversation kind of peters out here, but you all were already fairly close to town
  232. >Once you're all back and situated, the trap goes up quickly and costumes go on even quicker
  233. >Pretty soon, you and Spike are walking around in ghost costumes and carrying around a bag of candy
  234. "It's sure getting late, I sure hope nothing scary happens on the way home!"
  235. [o]>"Yeah, it would really suck if we lost all this candy!"[/o]
  236. "Yeah, we must've hit at least FIFTY HOUSES!"
  237. [o]>"And they all had full bars, no small packages in sight!"[/o]
  238. "And this ghost costume is pretty long, I might trip if I have to run in it and drop the bag!"
  239. [o]>"Then we'd lose ALL OF THIS CANDY!"[/o]
  240. >Just after Spike finishes his sentence, you two see a bush rustle ahead of you
  241. >Showtime
  242. >You cast him a glance, and he gives a near-imperceptible nod of confirmation
  243. >You two continue walking until exactly what you expect jumps out of the bushes
  244. [g]<"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"[/g]
  245. >The Nightmare doesn't scare either of you, but you both still jump a bit before turning around and booking it to the others
  246. >The costume gives you both a few close calls, but nothing happens to trip either of you
  247. >Spike also keeps the candy close by
  248. >After all, it's always nice to return something that was lent in good faith
  249. >The chase continues all the way down to the alley, you and Spike actually managing to widen the gap a little bit from what it was in the beginning
  250. >You and Spike then charge around the corner, just in time for Fred, Velma and Daphne to prep and throw the blanket up into the Nightmare's face
  251. >While she's struggling under it, everyone but Fred stands on a corner
  252. >She has other plans
  253. >She waits, watching the struggling figure until the Nightmare's head pops out from under the still-pinned sheet
  254. >That's when she strikes, removing the helmet and what was discovered to be a fake horn before the pony can respond and exposing damning evidence of the pony's identity
  255. >A bright, technicolor rainbow of a mane
  256. >"So it was Rainbow Dash all along!"
  257. [g]<(Sigh) "Yeah, you all caught me."[/g]
  258. >Upon seeing this, Velma gets her grin back
  259. [p]>"As I suspected. I recognized the blue hue of the feather under the black dye, and I also remember past Nightmare Night pranks pulled by her. Each of those pranks were specifically to scare ponies, and tonight had seemed too quiet while we were out there ourselves."[/p]
  260. "Why were you still out here this late, though?"
  261. [g]<"Well, I decided to do some trick-or-treating of my own. A grown mare can't exactly walk around and ask for candy though, so I decided to get some through pranks. I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling fillies."[/g]
  262. >Wow, this really is just a Scooby-Doo episode, isn't it?
  263. >Oh wait, Daphne's talking
  264. [p]<"Why not just buy some candy tomorrow? It would've been a lot cheaper than that costume and would've been less effort, too."[/p]
  265. [g]<"That wouldn't be as fun! Isn't that what this holiday's about?"[/g]
  266. [o]>"Yeah, but that doesn't excuse you from ruining the fun of others. Come on, what would Twilight think?"[/o]
  267. [g]<"Hold on... Spike? Maybe I should ask what you're doing out here instead of you all asking me."[/g]
  268. [o]>"These four decided to sneak out and look for ghosts, I went with to make sure that nothing bad happened to them."[/o]
  269. [g]<"And you didn't stop them?"[/g]
  270. [o]>"They wouldn't be stopped. Also, there's no way we're getting back without Twilight finding out by now."[/o]
  271. [g]<"Actually, I think I can cut you all a deal if you let me out."[/g]
  272. >Rainbow's deal was to sneak you all back in, in exchange for forgetting about what happened tonight
  273. >Not being stupid, you all jumped on this
  274. >Soon enough, all of you were sitting inside a blanket being flown back to Twilight's castle by blue fast
  275. >Other fillies are there to pull the blanket inside when you all get there, and the first face you all see upon escaping the folds of fabric is one of a purple pony
  276. >Zoinks
  277.  
  278. >I Never Asked For This
  279.  
  280. >Be Anonymous
  281. >You're walking home from college
  282. >Not walking home really, just walking to the bus stop
  283. >Be also wearing headphones and carrying papers
  284. >disasterwaitingtohappen.png
  285. >Be a clumsy motherfucker
  286. >Drop all your paper everywhere
  287. >fuck.jpg
  288. >Check time
  289. >Still got a minute before the bus gets here, you can pick it up
  290. >Picking_up_papers.exe in progress, please wait
  291. >Program has been aborted unexpectedly, this error will be reported to the manufacturer for future reference
  292. >Unable to contact manufacturer, data has been stored until contact is restored
  293. >Unable to store data, data storage has received critical damage and can no longer be accessed
  294. >Multiple critical errors are occurring
  295. >Anonymous.exe must now shut down
  296. >Thank you for choosing Humanity, we hope your life was a good one!
  297. >... So you got hit by a car, head first
  298. >Not your brightest move, all things considered
  299. >Probably the dumbest one, actually
  300. >...
  301. >.....
  302. >.......
  303. >Well, what now?
  304. >Heaven, hell, purgatory, where do you go?
  305. >Or do you just exist in a state of almost-nonexistence until your soul dissolves into energy or the universe ends, whichever comes first?
  306. >Wherever you're going, you're about to find out
  307. >You're not sure how, but you feel something pulling you
  308. >You're not sure where either, but you have the distinct answer that you'll figure that out soon
  309. >Eventually the nothingness surrounding you gives way to something as you begin to gradually regain feeling everywhere
  310. >The first thing you can really feel is a dull throbbing in your head, almost like some of the trauma somehow carried over
  311. >The next thing you can feel is grass under you
  312. >Then, you start to hear things
  313. >Birds chirping, wind blowing, people sounds in the distance
  314. >Did you get revived by paramedics?
  315. >Wouldn't you hear more commotion if you did?
  316. >Also, it felt like more than a few minutes that you were stuck in that void
  317. >Eventually, your other senses come back
  318. >With this, you can now take full stock of your surroundings
  319. >You open your eyes to reveal that you're lying on your stomach in a field bordering both a forest and what looks to be a small medieval town
  320. >You're not sure where you are, but it doesn't look like any afterlife you've heard of
  321. >You attempt to stand up, but immediately fall over
  322. >How did you forget how to stand?
  323. >Well, you [i]did[/i] just get creamed by a car...
  324. >Okay then, take two
  325. >You manage to get back onto two legs, but you don't stay there for long and topple over backwards
  326. >This is when the realization hits you
  327. >You're no longer human
  328. >This would've hit you harder, but you just died
  329. >You're just happy that your existence doesn't end there
  330. >Not happy exactly, but you're certainly not disappointed
  331. >Still, could you not have at least retained the ability to walk on two legs?
  332. >You audibly sigh in disappointment after processing all this
  333. >You also take this opportunity to take stock of what exactly you are
  334. >You've got hooves, green fur, a black tail, and no clothes
  335. >Okay, it's pretty obvious you're a pony
  336. >This isn't so bad
  337. >Now that you've established what you are as well, it's time to establish the where
  338. >Given what you know of show lore, the forest along with the tiny city on a far-off mountain suggest the town to be Ponyville
  339. >You take a few uncertain steps towards there, eventually working out how to walk using this body
  340. >After you get into town, you find that it's about what you expected
  341. >Ponies going about their daily lives,
  342. >And they're all bigger than you, too!
  343. >What are you, a child?
  344. >Well, it can't be all bad
  345. >At least you have some time to adjust before having to be productive
  346. >You're not going to turn that down, but being a foal is certainly going to hinder your ability to get going quickly
  347. >Maybe you could become somepony's apprentice in exchange for room and board?
  348. >Questions for later, for now you're more occupied with exploring your surroundings
  349. >Some of the ponies shoot you glances as you pass, but nothing too noticeable or deliberate
  350. >Some glances almost carry a welcoming warmth to them, but you usually return one of simple acknowledgement or a polite nod
  351. >Why does it seem like so many of them know you already, though?
  352. >You don't know any of them!
  353. >Eventually, you find out the reason
  354. >You see Princess Twilight leading around a pile of other green and black fillies
  355. >Most of them have cutie marks that are either some form of punctuation or letter
  356. >Twilight never had any fillies in the show, so what the hell is going on?
  357. >As you stare on in wonder of why all of these near-identical fillies are clustered near Twi, one of them notices you
  358. >Soon after, more and more begin to notice you until even the princess turns to look
  359. >After noticing you, they all seem to stop in their tracks and look around at eachother until one of them walks over to you
  360. >This one holds a clearly kind expression as it approaches you, but all you can do is look on with continued confusion
  361. >As you wait out the filly's approach, the answer to who they all are hits you
  362. >Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.mp4
  363. >After a pretty awkward staredown as the pony approaches you, it reaches you and begins talking
  364. >"Hey, I can bet you're pretty confused right now, but don't worry; You're not the first this has happened to, and you're probably not the last."
  365. "So you all got here by dying too?"
  366. >"Yeah. Never in quite the same way and not in order of when we died, but we all died."
  367. >At least the mommy issues general died off IRL
  368. >Too bad you have to deal with this cancer for the foreseeable future, though
  369. >"If you're interested in any of that, then feel free to ask once we're all back at the castle."
  370. >With that, the green filly begins walking back towards the pile
  371. >You, however, stay firmly put
  372. >The filly only notices this fact after getting about halfway back
  373. >Upon noticing this, she turns around to face you again
  374. >"Well, are you coming, or what?"
  375. "Nah."
  376. >"... Why not?"
  377. "I'd rather take my chances than catch the gay."
  378. >This causes the filly to raise an eyebrow
  379. >"And you haven't already by mere virtue of being here as you are now?"
  380. "I never asked for this."
  381. >"Nigga what? Why would you be here if you hadn't been in the threads before?"
  382. "No idea, but I'm certainly not happy to have to spend the rest of my life with the mommy fetishists."
  383. >The filly sits and stares at you, face unmoving, for a solid ten seconds
  384. >"Dude, it's either you come with us or you face the world on your own."
  385. "That's what I was planning before, you all just made it a more enticing option."
  386. >"You're a sad, strange little man; for that, you have my pity."
  387. "Save it for someone who needs it, I don't associate with you nazis."
  388. >"It's not our fault Mlpol's staff are actually decent people."
  389. "Scruffy. Did. Nothing. Wrong."
  390. >This last statement again causes the filly to pause and stare at you
  391. >This time, however, no more retorts come
  392. >Instead, she just gets up and starts walking back to the group
  393. "What, is that it? Are you just giving up now?"
  394. >The filly stops, only looking back at you from over her shoulder
  395. >"You're just not worth the time. Good luck with that whole 'doing it on your own' thing, but don't be surprised if it falls apart. By the way, it's supposed to rain tonight."
  396. >What does the rain have to do with anything?
  397. >Oh well, you shrug off this encounter and go off to continue exploring the town
  398. >
  399. >A few hours later...
  400. >
  401. >Be Anonymous
  402. >You're sitting under a tree with rain pouring down around you, trying your hardest to keep dry
  403. >Things didn't go as planned
  404. >Things went nowhere near as planned
  405. >Turns out that a lot of ponies saw what happened earlier, and it didn't paint you in the most favorable of lights
  406. >As you sit under this tree shivering, you start to re-evaluate your prior actions
  407. >Maybe you should've taken advantage of that offer?
  408. >Maybe, but is it worth your dignity?
  409. >Fuck no
  410. >But if you did, you wouldn't be wet, cold and hungry right now
  411. >You sigh outwardly and grit your teeth as a gust of wind brings even more water through the maze of branches above you to cascade down upon you
  412. >This is definitely hell
  413. >Just as you finish that thought, you see something round a corner near you
  414. >Rather, someone
  415. >Two someones, actually
  416. >A purple dragon holding an umbrella and a green filly with him
  417. >The dragon is the first to see you and points you out to the filly almost immediately
  418. >They both then rush over to you, thankfully bringing the umbrella over you once they get there
  419. >"So, how's it going?"
  420. "Let's cut to the chase; why are you here?"
  421. >"Because I'm not an asshole. It was pretty clear from how you were acting that you had no idea what you were doing, you just needed to see that yourself."
  422. "And what makes you think I had no idea what I was doing?"
  423. >"You were wandering the town pretty aimlessly and you clearly didn't take the rain into consideration."
  424. "So I made some mistakes. What of it?"
  425. >"You know, neither Spike nor myself have to be out here right now. If you don't want to come back with us, we'll just leave you to this."
  426. >You begin debating this internally for some time, only stopping when you see them start to leave
  427. "Wait!"
  428. >"So, you're coming with?"
  429. "If there were any other options, then I would've taken all of them first."
  430. >"Okay, tsundere, just follow us and we'll be at the castle in a few minutes."
  431. "Just Anonymous is fine."
  432. >"You and everypony else that showed up, you gotta get creative with your name now."
  433. "Well, do you have any examples?"
  434. >"The writefags all took their screen names, but some anons took names like Green Hornet to sound normal and other more eccentric ones took names like, and I'm not even kidding here, Dick Kickem."
  435. "Huh... That doesn't help at all."
  436. >"Yeah, I know what you're saying. I got here pretty late too, so I had to think pretty hard to come up with mine."
  437. >Almost no proper reference for a good name?
  438. >Fantastic
  439. "What even [i]is[/i] your name?"
  440. >"It's Jade Smith."
  441. "Jade Smith? What, do you think mirrors aren't real because we have no eyes?"
  442. >You smirk at your own comment, but Jade does too
  443. >"How can we be sure they are, though?"
  444. >She's probably in the middle of the name spectrum
  445. >Well, at least you can have a happy medium too
  446. >If you can find it, that is
  447. >This'll definitely take some thought
  448. >Hmmm
  449. >How about...
  450. >Maybe...
  451. >... You know, that might actually work
  452. >It seems just cheeky enough for your situation and your previous relation to all of these fillies
  453. "Sage Report."
  454. >"Hm?"
  455. "That's what my new name is."
  456. >"You're in luck, that's available."
  457. >Fantastic, all according to plan
  458. >What's the plan, though?
  459. >Eh, you'll get to that later
  460. >For now, the castle is within sight!
  461. >The doors of the castle are opened when you all arrive, greeting you with a warm gust from inside
  462. >You also smell what you think is pasta!
  463. >This causes your stomach to audibly growl, but you don't care at this point
  464. >You all head inside the castle lobby before the other two stop
  465. >"Spike, can you tell Twilight about the new arrival? I'll help her get dry and get some food."
  466. [o]>"Sure thing!"[/o]
  467. >With that, the first two words you've heard Spike say since meeting him signal his departure
  468. >"Alright, if you'll follow me to the bathroom..."
  469. >You do as you're told, and soon you both reach a bathroom
  470. >Jade waves you inside, but remains at the door herself
  471. >"Towel's on the rack. I'll be waiting here, but feel free to ask for help if you need it."
  472. >Pfft, how hard could it be to dry off?
  473. >Please disregard the last time you underestimated a task
  474. >You pull the towel off the rack and on to yourself fairly easily, but this is where things get a bit more difficult
  475. >It's pretty challenging to get any actual work done when all you have to work with is your mouth, maybe you [i]will[/i] need help
  476. "Hey, uh..."
  477. >"It's fine, nobody knew how to do it at first."
  478. >Jade takes the towel from you and begins to work you over from head to tail, spending extra time on your mane to get all the water out
  479. >It's a rough job, but definitely thorough
  480. >During this time, you also take the opportunity to further re-evaluate your past decisions
  481. >Were your actions a bit harsher than was needed at the time?
  482. >Probably, but you still stick by it
  483. >You're here for as long as it'll take you to get situated somewhere else
  484. >You should still be polite to your hosts, though
  485. >Yeah, you'll stick around and play nice for as long as it takes
  486. >It doesn't matter that it could take a long time, all the better for you to get a firm grip on life
  487. >It's at around this point on your train of thought that the drying finishes
  488. >When Jade pulls away and puts up the towel, you decide to look in the mirror
  489. >Yep, all your fur is messed up and poofy
  490. >As a side note, you also see a distinct lack of horns or wings on you
  491. >Oh well, at least you're dry and warming up
  492. >"So, how about some food now?"
  493. "Fuck. Yes."
  494. >"I hope you like spaghetti, that's what tonight was."
  495. >You're down for some pasta
  496. "Show me where it's at, I'll suck down noodles harder than you suck dicks."
  497. >Jade stares at you, again raising an eyebrow
  498. >"No u; the kitchen is this way."
  499. >She starts walking away again and you follow, already imagining the noodles that await you
  500. >When you both find your way to the kitchen, you see a large pot on the counter
  501. >While you're staring at it and wondering how to get to it, Jade pulls up a chair, climbs up onto the counter, moves over a bowl, and spoons out a decent portion of spagoot
  502. >"It's pretty cold by now, but it should still taste good. Feel free to eat it at the counter, I'm sure no one will care."
  503. >Wasting no more time, you do as she suggested and take a seat in front of the bowl and dig in
  504. >You don't bother asking for a fork, it would only slow you down
  505. >The first bowl is gone within seconds, yet you're still hungry
  506. >Luckily, there's a good bit of pasta left and Jade says to take as much as you need
  507. >When all's said and done, you killed 3 bowls of pasta to both of your surprise
  508. >"Alright, now that you're full, I'll show you around."
  509. "Cool, where are you showing me?"
  510. >"Just the important places. Where everypony hangs out, a few bathrooms, the library, where you'll be staying... You know."
  511. "And will I have to share this place?"
  512. >"Yes."
  513. >You sigh audibly at this news
  514. "Who am I sharing it with?"
  515. >"With me; there's a spare bed in that room that nopony's using yet."
  516. >You could've been sharing a room with one of the hardcore faggots instead of this guy
  517. "That's not so bad, I guess."
  518. >"Well, I'm glad you're finally starting to warm up to us."
  519. "It helps that you haven't been an obvious faggot yet."
  520. >"Then I've got a few friends that you may want to meet after we're done with this."
  521. >Jade then beckons you out of the kitchen and into a hall, presumably towards your first stop
  522. >As it turns out, the first stop is the library
  523. >A few bathrooms are pointed out along the way though, so you make sure to note their locations
  524. >The library is exactly what you expect, a huge room lined floor-to-ceiling with countless books
  525. >"This is the library, you can read almost any book you could think of here and a few you couldn't, thanks to Twilight's collecting. I mainly come here when I want some peace and quiet, but it can be used for any purpose that any other library is used for. Standard library rules apply here, though, so remember to keep quiet and not get anything on the books."
  526. >The next stop, a few bathrooms later, is your new room
  527. >"And this is our room. The bed on the left is yours, since I don't think you want to share one with me."
  528. "Gee, what made you think that?"
  529. >"Could it be that you called us all faggots when we first met?"
  530. "You know, that would do it."
  531. >"All jokes aside though, nobody likes to share a bed except for the exact people you think posted in the filly threads back home. You're not weird."
  532. >Guess stereotypes hold true even here...
  533. >"Anyway, the last major stop is just around the corner!"
  534. "Fantastic. Any more bathrooms?"
  535. >"Nah, just fun time."
  536. >True to Jade's words, the room was around the corner
  537. >However, there were still a few extra doors that needed to be passed before ending up at the right one
  538. >As you approach the room, you begin hearing sounds
  539. >Sounds that you would hear from an average con
  540. >Laughter, conversations, messing around, that whole sort of thing
  541. >What do you know, the room is filled with fillies doing that whole sort of thing!
  542. >Some are sitting and reading books in comfy-looking chairs, others are playing party games together, and you even see a group in a corner playing DnD at a folding table
  543. >There are also a few scattered groups participating in mostly idle talk, too
  544. >"This is the lounge. Everypony hangs out here after everything important is done for the day, and we all usually stay here until Twilight tells us to go to sleep."
  545. "So, uh... This is probably going to be a stupid question, but what do you all do for fun around here?"
  546. >"Whatever you want to do, you'll probably be able to do it. Within reason, of course; there's an unspoken rule that we all behave ourselves and save lewd shit for the bedrooms."
  547. "So that kind of thing [i]does[/i] happen?"
  548. >"Like I said, only the exact kind of fillies you insulted do that, and not all of us are that."
  549. "Relax, I'm just shitposting at this point. I may not like this situation, but I'm not an asshole either."
  550. >Okay, you [i]might[/i] be an asshole, but that doesn't need to be said
  551. >Not out loud, at least
  552. >Let's leave the introspection to the intro... something
  553. >That sounded better in your...
  554. >Actually, scratch that it didn't sound good at all
  555. >Point is, you're not a complete dick
  556. "Anyway, you mentioned having some 'normal' friends?"
  557. >"Yeah, they're over here. I'll introduce you!"
  558. >Jade hurries over to a corner of the crystalline room, where you see two other fillies in the middle of a conversation
  559. >Seeing as first impressions don't really matter anymore, you follow her over at a slower pace
  560. >When you get in range of the conversation, it peters off and they all turn towards you
  561. >"... but she seems pretty cool now, so go easy on her."
  562. "Or don't, I can take a hit or two."
  563. >"Speak of the devil! Anyway, Clover, Green, meet Sage Report."
  564. >The filly on the left reaches out a hoof to shake and introduces herself when you accept
  565. [o]>"I'm Clover Fields, nice to meet you."[/o]
  566. >After this interaction, the second one follows suit
  567. [p]>"And I'm Green Hills. What brought you here?"
  568. "Turns out trees aren't the best shelter for rain."
  569. [p]>"Nah, I mean what brought you to Equestria."[/p]
  570. >You pull away a slight bit in confusion before asking your own apprehensive question
  571. "Why would you like to know this?"
  572. [p]>"You don't have to answer if it's too personal, I just think it says a lot about who you are. For example, I died in the 2035 civil war by jumping on a grenade, if that means anything to you.[/p]
  573. [o]>"And I died of old age."[/o]
  574. >Old age?
  575. "What year was it!?"
  576. >Clover goes silent in contemplation for a few seconds before answering
  577. [o]>"Sometime in the 2090's, I don't remember the exact date, though."[/o]
  578. >Damn, they weren't kidding about the different times meaning jack shit
  579. >"I was offed in the middle of a bank robbery because I was taunting the robbers."
  580. [p]>"So, how about you?"[/p]
  581. "I... I was hit by a car while trying to pick up stuff I dropped."
  582. [p]>"That sucks, mate. What did you drop?"[/p]
  583. >You tell them the whole story, which leads into a conversation about what you all did for a living
  584. >Jade was a biochemist, Clover was a freelance programmer, and Green worked for a PMC
  585. >This leads to some banter about who had the better job (you were allowed to participate because you were studying to be a structural engineer), but it all stays friendly
  586. >After a while and a few stories of Green getting to shoot nigs in Africa, Twilight comes into the room and shoos you all back out into the hall
  587. >From here, it's another short walk to your room with Jade
  588. >Once the lights are off and you both are under the covers, she says something to you
  589. >"Get a good rest, tomorrow's a Monday."
  590. "You're not telling me we have to go to school tomorrow, are you?"
  591. >"Nah, but Twilight still makes us get up and learn stuff."
  592. "Like what?"
  593. >"Just stuff that we can actually use here. Unicorns learn magic, pegasi learn the intricacies of weather control, and earth ponies learn about agriculture."
  594. "She does this all herself?"
  595. >"Nah, she gets Rainbow Dash and Applejack to help out with it."
  596. "Alright, I guess that means I'm going into farming. How wonderful is it that I can use none of what I know for that?"
  597. >"It sucks, but at least you didn't make it all the way through college before getting bashed by that sedan. Besides, if the material ever gets tough or confusing, you can ask me about it and I'll help you out."
  598. "Thanks, dude. 'Night!"
  599. >"See you tomorrow morning."
  600. >With that, you both close your eyes and begin to drift
  601. >Before your freefall from consciousness begins, though, you experience one last thought
  602. >Maybe it wasn't a complete mistake you were put here
  603. >You never asked for this, but you're still pretty alright with it
  604.  
  605. The Madness Behind Magic
  606.  
  607. >Tonight's the night
  608. >Twilight was looking for this exact happening for over 800 years, and it's finally happened tonight
  609. >The stars, moon, planets, and Equus itself have all aligned, quite literally, for her ultimate experiment
  610. >The last line to her Magnum Opus, this universe's Grand Unified Theory!
  611. >Tonight, Twilight Sparkle will figure out the enigma of magic!
  612. >However, it all hinges on one ritual locked away in the depths of Faust's own personal library
  613. >It took a lot of convincing to make Celestia open up about the ritual's existence, much less where she could find out about it
  614. >God knows why
  615. >I mean he probably does, but if you could ask him directly, you'd have more pressing questions to ask first
  616. >Mainly why you had to drag yourself out to an ancient equestrian city to help Twilight with this
  617. >Blah blah 'knowledge of another world' blah blah 'indispensable to my research'
  618. >Still doesn't explain why she not only had to turn you into a horse, but render you magically immortal
  619. >Flight and magic are cool too, don't get that wrong
  620. >It's just... Why?
  621. >Anyway, it's cold down here in this necropolis and you want something to distract yourself from the silent eyeless glares of the statues around you
  622. >So, you run through the plan again!
  623. >When Twilight's set up at her own location, she'll send you a magic signal and tell you to begin your part
  624. >Step 1: draw the runic circle exactly as she instructed
  625. >Step 2: remove the obsidian knife from its sheath and use it to add some of your blood to the center of the altar
  626. >Step 3: say exactly what she told you to say, no matter what happens around you
  627. >She really seemed to stress that last part, for some odd reason
  628. >You're not entirely sure why, but you've seen enough magic fuckery happen during other experiments since you first became her assistant
  629. >A cold wind blows over your back from one of the numerous alleys surrounding the enclosed area you're within
  630. >Seeing nothing else to do while Twilight's fucking around (probably somewhere with heating), you decide to take in more of the scenery
  631. >You stand atop a short stepped limestone pyramid with a flat top, sitting directly in the middle of a large crater lined with numerous pathways and steps, with each of the cardinal directions holding a pedestal with a large, faceless pony statue staring inwards towards you
  632. >Well, not towards you, towards where you're standing
  633. >However, you swear that they've been following your motion ever since you stepped up here
  634. >Either way, you'd swear that all this came straight out of the set of a horror movie
  635. >If all goes as it should, though, you'll be back home in an hour or so for debriefing and number crunching
  636. >No more spooky statues for you to deal with
  637. >No more spooky statues, no more cold winds, no more weird crater...
  638. >Your horn ignites on its own as thoughts that aren't your own begin to enter your mind
  639. >You jump at this occurrance, but it soon becomes clear that this isn't as malicious as it would seem
  640. >It's pretty staticky, but you hear an all-too-familiar voice broadcasted directly to your brain matter
  641. >"Alright Anon, I'm set up here at the observatory nearby. The effects of the alignment will be peaking shortly, so I hope you're ready with that circle."
  642. "No worries, I've got it in place. Just tell me when to do step 2 and I'll do it."
  643. >"Good... Full alignment in T-minus 15... 14... 13..."
  644. >You bring the sheath and the knife contained within to bear in front of you
  645. >"11... 10... 9..."
  646. >You unclip the button on it and fix a green aura around the hilt
  647. >"7... 6... 5..."
  648. >You do one final check of your position within the circle and raise a hoof, satisfied with your placement
  649. >"3... 2... 1... Go for step 2!"
  650. >In one fluid motion, you draw the knife and drag it across your outstretched forelimb, giving the ground in front of you a light coat of red paint
  651. >With the dripping of your own blood being the only other sound, you begin to say the power phrase
  652. "Dormiens et evigilare faciatis unum hercle!"
  653. >A crescendo of wind begins around you, whipping your mane into a frenzy and drowning the sound of your own voice out
  654. >You falter briefly to regain composure before moving on to the next sentence
  655. "Excita huius mundi bonis et prae me prohibitos autem scientiam!"
  656. >As the sentence passes your lips, you see lightning begin arcing out of the clear sky to strike the four statues around you
  657. >Their exteriors begin to fracture, revealing a sickening interior
  658. >Worse still, they no longer hide their malicious intent towards you as the immense, once-contained corpse-piles of many more than four long-dead ponies begin shambling towards you
  659. >Again, you falter, but only for long enough to cast a protective ward around the altar
  660. "Sed vade, Locorum Mauris pellentesque!"
  661. >The final sentence rings out across the suddenly calm plaza as the four cadaverous monsters freeze in place before disintegrating just shy of your protective dome
  662. >That's not all, though
  663. >A strong and imposing magic presence begins to infest the area, immediately destroying your protective ward, and causing the runes in the circle to begin glowing
  664. >The upside to the glowing runes is that you can now see the stain of your blood on the altar beginning to boil away
  665. >The downside is that you see your blood boil away before you
  666. >The glowing of the altar begins to dim, however, as you notice an unnatural darkness slowly encroaching on the plaza from all sides as what appear to be souls begin rising from the ground and conglomerating into a single point in the sky above you
  667. >As the inky blackness creeps further into your field of view and the magic aura grows to suffocating levels, the soul singularity ignites and tears a hole through reality itself, exposing something far beyond your capacity to know
  668. >The All-Knowing
  669. >The Dreamer
  670. >The Sleeping God itself
  671. >And as your brain struggles to use 800+ years of living on both Earth and Equus to somehow rationalize the otherworldly presence you're observing, you witness one final thing
  672. >The Sleeping God opens a single eye
  673.  
  674. >Anonymous should've completed the ritual by now, you'll give it another few minutes before you go to check on her
  675. >If all goes well, this should give you the exact answer you need to complete the Grand Unified Theory and connect in magic to the other fundamental forces of the universe once and for all!
  676. >The secrets of the entire cosmos will become an open book to you, and you could use that book to accomplish anything!
  677. >You could solve every problem in all of existence, all you'd have to do is account for all the proper variables and the math would tell you in plain equish!
  678. >In just a short while, it will all be more than just a thought in your mind
  679. >A few more minutes pass and you decide to check on Anon
  680. >You open the telepathic connection again, expecting to hear an excited reaction, or even Anon's standard bored passivity
  681. >However, all you get before the connection closes is a brief, intense flash of pain, horror, and disgust
  682. >
  683. >Oh shit
  684. >Did she do the ritual wrong?
  685. >Did she not say the power phrase properly?
  686. >Did she interrupt it, somehow?
  687. >You waste no more time thinking about the possible problems and immediately teleport over to Anon's position
  688. >When you get there, you witness a jarring sight
  689. >Anonymous stands in the center of the circle stiffly, her green coat now striped with rusty brown as she stands in a pool of her own blood facing away from you
  690. "Anon! What happened!?"
  691. >You rush over to your assistant's side as fast as you can, and the details of her condition only get worse as you get closer
  692. >You struggle to hold back bile as a tide of nausea overwhelms you
  693. >What brought about this nausea?
  694. >A 5-inch green cone, lying in the blood like disposed trash
  695. >You debate inspecting it further, but you already have a good idea of what it is
  696. >You open your mouth to speak one more time, but this is when Anonymous finally responds to you
  697. >She turns to you, exposing the charred stump atop her forehead and revealing her vacant expression and hollow, focusless gaze
  698. >"Damned are those who bear the burden of magic, for their eternal sleep shall be within the palace of Redlohecalp The Dreamer."
  699. >When the last word rings out across the altar, Anonymous collapses into the pool
  700. >You dive into the redness to catch her, but when you do, you find that her body's already cold and without a pulse
  701. >Even with the much more pressing concerns at hoof, you can't help but continue to turn over Anon's last words inside your head over and over
  702. Damned are those who bear the burden of magic, for their eternal sleep shall be within the palace of Redlohecalp The Dreamer
  703. Damned are those who bear the burden of magic, for their eternal sleep shall be within the palace of Redlohecalp The Dreamer
  704. Damned are those who bear the burden of magic, for their eternal sleep shall be within the palace of Redlohecalp The Dreamer...
  705.  
  706. What Kind of Present Does a Dentist Want?
  707.  
  708. >It's been a while since you first got here, almost as long as it's been since that dragon gave you fourth-degree burns and forced Twilight to make you into this
  709. >After that, there was only one pony in town that you didn't have either an inappropriate or a hostile relationship with to take you in
  710. >Colgate
  711. >Yes, the dentist
  712. >You're not too sure why either
  713. >On the one hand, you never exactly found her insanely attractive
  714. >On the other, you never had any issues with keeping friendly while you were there
  715. >Twilight was also a bit surprised at this revelation, but nonetheless, Colgate was willing to take you in in your... Changed state
  716. >And now, it's been a year since that day and you've decided to give her a gift as thanks!
  717. >Now, let's see, what do you know about your caretaker?
  718. >Dentist
  719. >Likes messing around with clocks in spare time
  720. >Generally nice
  721. >Good work ethic
  722. >Holds you to a consistent standard
  723. >Well, that one might be because she knows that you're still a 20-something-year-old man underneath this small, cuddly exterior
  724. >Either way, you're counting it towards her
  725. >So, what should you do?
  726. >You've got a while, given you decided to skip out on class today
  727. >You'll have Sweetie Belle give you the rundown later, other things take precedent here!
  728. >Hmm, is there anything you can think of?
  729. >Wait a minute...
  730. >That's such a blatantly horrible idea that it just might work!
  731. >However, you're going to need some help to actually make it
  732. >Oh well, you still need to call in a favor or two from Twilight anyway
  733. >So, instead of going the rest of the way to the schoolhouse, you take a left and start towards the crystalline palace that dominates the skyline!
  734. >After a walk and a half, you arrive on Twilight's front step and give the door a swift knock
  735. >To nobody's surprise, the one who answers the door is a purple dragon instead of a purple mare
  736. [o]>"Hey Anon, aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"[/o]
  737. "Yeah, but I have other plans for today that I need Twilight's help with."
  738. [o]>"Does Colgate know you're out here?"[/o]
  739. "Well... No, but that's because what I'm here to do is make her a surprise."
  740. >Spike raises an eyebrow at you, calling your bluff
  741. "Look, it's been a year since I first went to stay with her, so I wanted to make her something special that I'm probably going to need magic and someone smarter than me to make work. Will you let me in or not?"
  742. >Spike continues to stare at you, also crossing his arms
  743. >Accepting his challenge, you hold firm
  744. >After a while of you two just staring each other down, Spike sighs and lets you in
  745. [o]>"She's in her office. I'm sure you remember how to get there?"[/o]
  746. "Yeah, and thanks for this. I'd say I owe you one, but I'm already here to cash in some favors of my own."
  747. [o]>"No problem, I'll just remember this for the next time you need help."[/o]
  748. >Spike casts you a sly grin, upon which you make a derogatory gesture with your forelimbs
  749. [o]>"Well, see ya around!"[/o]
  750. "You too, my dude."
  751. >You both part ways here, Spike going back to wherever he was before and you continuing your journey to Twilight
  752. >After some time spent recalling the pathways of the Crystal Castle™, you come to the door to Twilight's office
  753. >So, much like the last door you encountered, you give it a swift knock
  754. >The sound disappears from the air as swiftly as it was made, taking all sounds of business from the room within with it
  755. >After a second of waiting, you get a reply from the other side
  756. [p]>"... Come in?"[/p]
  757. >Well, that's what you were planning on doing
  758. >You open the door to find Twilight sitting in front of some papers on her desk, staring intently at you
  759. [p]>"Anonymous, shouldn't you be going to class?"[/p]
  760. "Technically, yes. However, today's a special day, so I decided to skip out on something I don't need help with to take care of something that I DO need help with."
  761. [p]>"I'm not doing anything illegal and you're going back to school as soon as we're done. Those are my conditions."[/p]
  762. "That works, and I'm calling in one of the favors you owe me to do this. Now that the formality's out of the way, shall we get down to it?"
  763. [p]>"Sure! What do you need?"[/p]
  764. "I need help making a clockwork toothbrush."
  765. >Twilight's jaw hangs open just a bit and her brow furrows as she tries to figure out exactly what you mean
  766. "I have an idea of how to make it, I just need you to do it for me since I don't have my hands anymore."
  767. [p]>"Then you're going to need to tell me exactly what you expect, because I have no clue what you're trying to do."[/p]
  768. "I'll explain on the way down to your lab."
  769. >Twilight shrugs at your response as you open the door back into the hallway
  770. >As soon as you're both out of the office, you begin explaining your idea as you both begin walking
  771. "So, what I have in mind is- well, you know what I have in mind. What you don't know is how it should work, which is with a pullstring that tightens a spring that leads into a series of gear reductions that finishes off with a tiny gear spinning both really fast and off-balance."
  772. >You look over towards the mare accompanying you to gauge her reaction
  773. >Contemplative silence, so far
  774. >After a few moments more, you get a go-ahead
  775. [p]>"Continue."[/p]
  776. "The tiny gear spinning that fast with an uneven load will cause it to vibrate, then causing the entire construct to vibrate with it. So then, after that, we have the entire thing mounted inside a waterproof casing that we can attach a disposable toothbrush head into. Got it?"
  777. >Twilight nods a bit more before adding some ideas of her own
  778. [p]>"Instead of the pullstring, how about we instead have a switch that releases a gear enchanted with perpetual motion that powers the whole machine? Then it doesn't have the issues of an opening that water can get into or the loss of power that happens as the reduction happens."[/p]
  779. "I didn't even know that was a thing, but yeah, that'll work!"
  780. [p]>"Alright! I think I know exactly how to do what you want me to, I just need a minute to check my supplies once we get there."[/p]
  781. "Cool. Oh, and one last thing: can you make the casing transparent so the mechanics can be seen?"
  782. [p]>"Sure, I've got some spare glass that I need to get rid of anyway. Any other things I should take into consideration?"[/p]
  783. >You think to yourself for a moment until you remember one more thing that you'll need for this
  784. "Some ribbon to finish it off."
  785. [p]>"Ribbon? What for?"[/p]
  786. "Well, in case you haven't guessed yet, this is a present."
  787. >Twilight stares off into space ahead of you both, nodding to herself briefly
  788. [p]>"Has it already been a year?"[/p]
  789. "It has. Time flies, doesn't it?"
  790. >Around this point, you both finally make it to the laboratory located in Twilight's basement
  791. >With all the explanations out of the way and the plan set forth, a quick check of the supplies held within the storage section of this immense room is made and construction of the device begins
  792. >Two squares of glass are brought over, melted with magic, and set into the proper forms via telekinetic force
  793. >The necessary gears are brought over, assembled into the casing, and integrated into a switch brought over from another part of storage
  794. >Enchantments are cast, switches placed into casings, casings glued together, and the entire thing given a test run with you as the willing dummy
  795. >Everything works fantastic!
  796. >Twilight brings over your last component, a length of ribbon, which you tie into a bright red bow to the best of your ability
  797. >With everything taken care of, you place the completed toothbrush into your saddlebag
  798. "Thanks for this, Twi, I'll make sure Colgate knows who helped me with it!"
  799. [p]>"No problem! Now, with all that taken care of, isn't there somewhere you need to be?"[/p]
  800. >Well, time to hold up your end of the bargain
  801. "Alright, send me off!"
  802. >You strike a dramatic pose as Twilight casts a teleportation spell, dropping you instantly in the middle of the classroom
  803. >Some time later...
  804. >You're on the way home from school now
  805. >You had to burn a favor to make sure Cheerilee didn't tell Colgate about your late arrival, but other than that, everything went well
  806. >Now, all that's left to do is to hand over your gift!
  807. >As soon as you get back to the house, you open the door and carefully extract your brainchild from your saddlebag
  808. >A few scuffs and smudges, but it's okay
  809. >So, hoping to keep it that way, you place it up on your desk
  810. >Good thing you didn't screw this up, imagine how much that would suck!
  811. >Now, all you have to do is lay low until Colgate's done with her appointments
  812. >You use the time to do your homework and, when that's finished, continue your practice with standing on two legs
  813. >One of these days you'll be back to your old self, you aren't letting your basic human skills degrade until then!
  814. >However, your concentration is broken by the sound of the door opening and you fall over backwards
  815. >CRASH
  816. >You fall into the desk, forced to watch in slow motion as the toothbrush falls over and shatters upon touching the wooden floor beneath you
  817. >
  818. >fuck
  819. >FUCK
  820. >You take a deep breath, holding it all in for as long as it takes for you to push all these feelings back down
  821. >While you're doing this though, you hear your own door open
  822. >"Anon, are you alright? I heard something fall over and break!"
  823. >You sigh as Colgate looks down towards the mess of glass and gears sitting in front of you
  824. "Yeah, I'm fine; your present isn't, though. Sorry about that."
  825. >You continue to stare down at the mess before you as Colgate walks up to you
  826. >"Present?"
  827. "Yeah, since it's been a year since you took me in. I asked Twilight to help me make you something, but I ended up breaking it just now when I fell over."
  828. >Colgate places a hoof around you, pulling you in close to her
  829. >"It's fine! I'm sure that if Twilight made it, she can fix it. If it makes you feel any better, I'll go see her over the weekend and get it fixed. The most important part is that you're still okay."
  830. >You look up to the blue mare and wrap your forelegs around her as much as you can, placing your face over her spearmint-scented shoulder
  831. "I guess so. I still would've liked to give it to you myself, but that works too. I mean, Twilight and I worked all morning on it and now it's just a safety hazard on the floor! Come on, man!"
  832. >Colgate giggles a bit at your exaggerated outrage and choice of words before responding
  833. >"Don't worry, I'll get the dustpan and clear it all away."
  834. >After letting go and getting out of the way of the sweeping, Colgate asks you one final question
  835. >"Do you mind if I ask what it was?"
  836. "Not at all. It was supposed to be a clockwork toothbrush, a toothbrush that was supposed to vibrate as a result of a string of gears that created the vibrations. The outside was made of glass so that you could see inside it, but that also made it brittle."
  837. >"That does sound like a neat idea. I just have one other thing to say, though."
  838. "What's that?"
  839. >"Since you took the morning to make this, how about you take Saturday morning to catch up on what you missed in class while I get it repaired?"
  840. >You sigh again, only now realizing that you blew two favors only to come out the other side with a pile of glass and a punishment that you only have yourself to blame for
  841. >Darn