Mad Science: Chapter 3

By IceMan

 

Chapter 3: Thermodynamic Potentials

 

“It just doesn’t make any sense,” you mutter.

“I had work to do,” you reply. “But my work has only led to further questions.”

“Yes, but they are not questions I can answer by experimentation. I would not know where to begin. I need more information about this... magic.”

“Why is the energy produced by a ‘magical battery,’ proportionally, far greater than a rough equivalent, such as a mechanically-powered electrical generator, and greater than the supposed ‘voltage’ of said battery would theoretically provide?”

“Explain.”

“What’s this?” you ask. “Chess?”

“Why not just converse over this without a game in the way? Then we could focus on the matter at hand instead of having to multitask.”

“My experiments are fun.”

“Fine.”

“Black,” you reply, choosing the side you’re already on.

“Alright,” you say. “Explain this ‘Grand Law of Magic.’”

“Approximately?”

“But where does the extra energy come from? If it comes from nowhere, the void, or whatever, that’s in violation of energy conservation, is it not? And, if energy weren’t conserved, I would mostly likely be dead right now.”

“What were the experiments?”

“And I probably would have felt a temperature change like that. The wires would have been colder instead of hotter.”

“Great. Another mystery to solve.”

“How can such a relationship exist at all?” you realize. “You said that magic was more of a skill. And, presumably, that means as you use it more often, it becomes easier to use it. So, is it using less energy to do the same amount of work?”

“I understand. Does this also mean that certain people - er, ponies - have more magic at their disposal? Just as certain people are predisposed to develop muscle mass more easily?”

“How much power do the princesses have?” you ask. “And this Discord character? How much power does he have?”

“Like most things with magic.”

“This planet has no rotation on its own? So that means that the asteroids, gas, dust, whatever, had net zero angular momentum when they coalesced to form it. Not impossible, but very unlikely. Or there was a catastrophic impact event that resulted in the same thing, net zero rotation. Once again, not impossible, but also unlikely.”

“Hm. You also mentioned these princesses have the power to rotate the planet.”

“I’m going to hold off on some other questions for now. Obviously, the fact that your planet is rotated by two magical princesses is a bit of a curiosity, and there’s more I’d like to know about that, in due time. And the fact that a being that is the embodiment of ‘chaos’ exists in this world is also a curiosity. But I will hold off on that to remain on topic. What are the ‘Elements of Harmony?’

“I’m going to delay asking more about these ‘Elements of Harmony.’ There’s more I could ask about them, but I think that prompts its own discussion. But, what you’re telling me is that you’ve faced an evil version of one of these princesses, and some sort of Lord of Chaos, and they didn’t try to, you know, just separate or kill one of the Elements of Harmony so that they couldn’t be used against them?”

“Check. If he has the power to completely change a being’s personality, interfere with these incredibly powerful magical artifacts, and alter the nature of reality itself, then why couldn’t he just, I don’t know, trap one of you within the core of the sun while keeping you alive, under the threat that, if you tried to do anything against him, he’d kill that person - er, pony? Or just make you all forget that the Elements existed at all? Just do anything to keep the Elements separate but make it impossible for you to use them against him without dire consequences. And, if Princess Luna’s evil form is comparable in power, why didn’t she do something similar?”

“Check again. Possibly. All it simply means is Discord and Nightmare Moon are A. not as powerful as we think, so they couldn’t do those things or B. not as smart as we think, so they didn’t think to use their powers that way. Most likely the latter.”

“Well, that’s putting it rather bluntly, but if you have ultimate power at your fingertips but cannot figure out creative ways to use that power, then, yes. You are by definition an idiot. By the way, checkmate.”

“Of course, there is another possibility,” you say.

“It’s incredibly unlikely, but it must also be considered. Your enemies were both intelligent and powerful, but you were simply... allowed to win. Or, at least, conditions were made such that a situation in which it would be impossible for you to win would not be possible.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know enough about your previous adventures or the characters in them to deduce which of my hypotheses is absolutely correct, though I am of course predisposed to believe that people who want eternal darkness and absolute chaos are misguided idiots. Why you were successful is ultimately irrelevant to my current task at hand. Something for you to wonder about, not me. I have bigger problems.”

“Such as figuring out why you let me win in this game of chess.”

“Oh, come now, don’t give me that look. You played incredibly sloppily. No one gives up their rook to take a knight, or their queen for a bishop. I refuse to accept that you are that incompetent.”

“Take it whatever way you like. The point is, I refuse to accept that victory.”

“No. I can’t know why you did it, but the fact that you did raises complications. Possibly, you were planning on revealing the deception to me later, so that I would do some other thing with or for you. Or perhaps you wanted me to underestimate you, so that you could later beat me. It doesn’t really matter. The point is, I want a fair game. I don’t take well to being deceived.”

“I’ll be white this time.”

“You’re really not fooling anyone with that. Come now. Plus... nevermind, it’s irrelevant.”

“Your move.”

“So you admit you did let me win.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Why didn’t you give it your best? I did.”

“Your concern for my feelings was unfounded. I clearly recognized the game, and you didn’t make any comment on me breaking any rules. So, obviously, we play the same game in both of our universes. And, I can take losing a simple game, when I know that both parties have played fairly.”

“I see a way how that we can make this fair. I asked you questions. Now you can ask me.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?”

“Forget the deal. Just keep playing. What do you want to know?”

“What, you meet a being from an alternate universe and you have nothing to ask? What do you want to know?”

“Because I want to advance human knowledge and technological prowess. That is what scientists do. Do you not have scientists here? I thought you said you were one.”

“Presumably, those professions contain aspects of things I would consider to be pseudoscience in my universe. Alchemy and magic, certainly. Although, I guess those are more serious topics of study in this one.”

“What you would call alchemy would most likely fit into what I call chemistry,” you explain. “And the study of magic may fit into what I study, namely, physics. But how much overlap there actually is between these fields remains to be seen.”

“Possibly. The bigger question is not what it is being studied, but how. Science relies on making empirical predictions and testable hypotheses capable of disproving a claim about the natural world.”

“If you want to get technical, you can never fully prove an inductive argument, because any evidence counter to your claim disproves it. All scientific claims are inductive arguments. If we find that our models of reality do not match up to what reality is, then we would have to revise them.”

“Research. Experimentation. Modeling. Theorizing. That’s mostly what I do, anyways. I work for an institute specializing in theoretical and experimental physics.”

“Usually in teams. There are some who say the idea of the lone genius working in the lab, solving problems by himself, is dead. The problems in physics these days are, supposedly, too large for any one person to solve. There’s usually a Principal Investigator - a PI - who leads the project, plus a few other professors and researchers, a few post-doctoral students, a dozen or so graduate students, and a larger number of undergraduates. How is it here?”

“I managed.”

“I mostly had the other researchers and graduates deal with the students. As PI, it wasn’t my job. I had bigger problems to deal with. I was overseer for the entire experiment.”

“No.”

“I worked with students. I did the best I could. But the directors quickly realized my talents were wasted as a researcher and promoted me to a higher position.”

“No.”

“Why do you think?”

“And I’m not a very good teacher.”

“Everything about teaching simply annoyed me. I don’t like having to explain things multiple times to my students. I hated giving up my time to give lectures, grade papers, go over problem sets. They wasted my time when I could have been doing far more important work. But it was part of the job. So I did it as best I could.”

“Plus, my students were absolute idiots. I couldn’t believe that the institute was accepting these people into our program. It was like they knew nothing of physics and couldn’t solve even the simplest problems. It was all just such a huge waste of time. Why should I be forced to deal with these morons when I could do such more important work?”

“The work they were doing was very simple, and they still messed it up all the time. Constantly making errors in their analyses, constant small errors in calculations. It all added up and delayed everything. It was almost absurd.”

“No. I was definitely clear. There was no reason why they should have been making such grievous mistakes.”

“But what infuriated me most was the institute directors constantly recommending me to teach more, as if that was what I was there to do. I was there to do research, not to teach. Did they not know that?”

“What, by wasting my time? I was about to make the discovery of the century.”

“Of course.”

“Because I can explain my ideas to others just fine. My papers were always clear and concise.”

“They were only read by experts.”

“In what regard?”

“No.”

“Hang on, I need to focus on the game here.”

“This won’t be much longer,” you reply.

“Hm?”

“Give me a moment, I’m thinking.”

“I’m still considering my response. You’ve asked me a difficult question.”

“I’m not answering that question right now,” you say.

“You’re asking me why I am the way I am, and you’ve known me for a few days. Do you really expect me to open up that deeply? Is that how things work here or something?”

“I don’t need to be helped. I don’t need to be fixed.”

“Fine. There’s really no purpose in keeping my reasoning secret. One way or another, you’ll figure it out. Plus, I need to see if it’s defensible. I’ll tell you what I think, or rather, what I don’t. I don’t think friendship is valuable.”

“People tell me friendship is valuable, and that it is valuable in and of itself,” you begin. “I can’t see a way that could be.”

“I see that friendship is valuable because we gain something from our friends: knowledge, companionship, material. Our friends lie to us to keep this arrangement. In friendship, you are forced to be inherently false to someone to keep them happy and to keep them around you. We are forced to have moral obligations to our friends that we wouldn’t have for other people, and I see no reason to do that.”

“Obviously, people still find friendship is valuable regardless of this. Maybe it’s something unique to me. But, to convince me that friendship is valuable, you must defeat that argument.”

“That’s fine. I’ve given you a starting place. Figure out why friendship is valuable in and of itself and see if your reasoning convinces me. I think you can do it. It shouldn’t be that difficult.”

“Because I have bigger concerns. I worry about the structure of the universe, not petty interpersonal relationships. It doesn’t bother me that I can’t justify friendship, because I don’t need friendship.”

“Well. That’s that I suppose. Well played.”

“And your best was clearly adequate.”

“Well, you don’t. But, knowing what little you know about me, would you really expect me to just give you an easy victory?”

“Then work it out from that.”

“Well, the only way for us to truly know is to play another game. And, if I beat you more easily, then you’ll know that I wasn’t playing my best.”

“Do you want to get that?”

“Hello. What can I do for you?” you ask the white unicorn.

“I am happy to accept such services. If I need you, I’ll be sure to give you a call.”

“Maybe not for you, but certainly for me. I am in the process of an important development here and -”

“- I really don’t have the time for tailoring right now. But if I need it, I’ll be sure to see you.”

“Are you certain that it won’t take too long? I have a lot of work to do, and I really can’t afford to great of a distraction at this time.”

“Fine. Alright. I’ll be back in half an hour, Twilight.”

“Huh?”

“Uh, it’s nice, I guess, sure.”

“Didn’t seem that way when I got here. Everyone took one look at me and ran away or locked up their homes.”

“Hands. These are hands.”

“If magical creature attacks are a common occurrence around here, then perhaps the citizens’ caution is a wise policy.”

“Hm. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“No.”

“I’ll have to decline. I really don’t have time for that.”

“I don’t know. I’m going to be very busy with my research.”

“I’m working alone. I’m trying to figure out what magic is and how it works.”

“I work better alone.”

“I don’t really know or much care for what is fashionable.”

“I really don’t. It’s all the same to me.”

“I really just need you to design some simple things for me to wear. I’m really not interested in the highest of high fashion.”

“No. As much as I appreciate the offer, I’d really prefer we stick to something simple.”

“It’s nice. As I said, I do prefer things simple. Not too many frills,” you say, lifting up a bit of fabric on the dress delicately.

“So, you are the Element of Generosity, are you not?” you ask.

“Then perhaps you can answer this question I’ve been having. What exactly does it mean to be generous?”

“Of course. That seems satisfactory. But, maybe I should rephrase the question.... Are generous for its own sake, or are you generous to others because you know that they will reciprocate that generosity?”

“Really? I find that hard to believe. Are you saying that you’ve never, not even once, done something for someone and later expected something in return?”

“Are you so sure of that? Deep down, you know that every time you do a little favor for someone, you can check off a little box saying that you can ask that person for something in return. Deals are struck, bargains are made. The value of being ‘friends’ with someone is that it makes it easier to make those little agreements. I reject such a value.”

“Friends know that they are both dealing in good faith. And so you get things from people. Favors. Money. Gifts. Knowledge. But what if those people have nothing of value to give to you? What will you do then?”

“Well, do you have a counterargument?”

“Then what is it about?”

“Is companionship not something that someone gives to someone else? Do you not benefit from enjoying someone else’s personality? How are those thing not examples of someone ‘giving’ something to you?”

“Nowhere in particular. It was just a question I had that I thought you might be able to answer.”

“Well, yes. Why, do you think we shouldn’t do this?”

“But what is it?”

“How is that not the same as what you said earlier? That we benefit from the companionship and personalities of our friends?”

“I need to think of an objection to this. I’m not fully convinced.”

“I wouldn’t call it solved. I still think there may be some problems in your reasoning, but I just need to find them. I know I can, I just need some time to think.”

“No. This is all distracting me. I shouldn’t have bothered you with that. I have bigger problems than paradoxes in the philosophy of friendship, and I need to solve those problems first. So, I apologize for troubling you with that. Are you finished with the measurements?”

“Well, thank you for that then. I’ll be off.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary. I have many things to do, and I am very busy. So, goodbye.”

“No time for that. Science to do.”

“Matter-energy equivalency. A very small amount of matter can be converted into a very large amount of energy, per Einstein’s special relativity. Magic could break apart a few atoms by interacting with the strong and weak nuclear forces under the right conditions, creating extra energy. It would have been a very easy explanation. However, much of the energy that would be produced would have been in a useless or dangerous form, usually heat or high-energy ionizing radiation. But I’ve seen neither of those things.”

“How? And how would that be ”

“That doesn’t make any sense. It would mean that the emission and absorption of photons was being converted into a voltage or an electron movement. And that can happen, there are materials that become electrically charged as you heat or irradiate them, but pure copper isn’t one of them.”

“But of course, this an alternate universe. Anything could happen here. There could be a some ‘fifth interaction,’ some force that interacts with all four forces and can cause all of their effects. And that force could be... magic.”

“This solution is overcomplicated. There must be some simpler answer. Also, it makes no testable predictions. How is magic converting energy into a useful form any different from magic simply creating the useful form of energy? All we see is more electrical energy then there should be, but magic could just produce the electrical energy through any other means than the one we’ve theorized. We need something to test.”

“Yes. I don’t think there’s much more we can glean from this apparatus, unfortunately. As revealing it has been, it still doesn’t answer all the questions. As much as it pains me to say it, I need... your help. You understand magic better than I do. I understand physics, or, well, what humans know of physics, better than you do. There are things that I know that you don’t, and vice versa. We both have things we can give to each other. It will be a beneficial partnership.”