Geologic Assistant, by RM-Writing

 

Maud, Geologic Assistant

 

 

 

Alright, Maud, lets hit the road. We have work to get ready for.

Yup. Im a Geologist, Maud. I have... brought you under my supervision to be my assistant in the field work I do for a living.

 

A... Rocktorate? Is that anything like... a doctorate?

Well, Maud... Let's uh... get into the truck, and I can explain what we are going to be doing for the next month before we get a break...

So... Maud. You would consider yourself an expert on rocks and minerals?

Thats... Gneiss.

 

Well, since you seem to be... possibly more knowledgeable than myself... Let's get down to the core of what the work we are going to do.

This is the San Rafael Swell. We are going to be mapping the entirety of it on foot, at a very detailed scale. This is the old geologic map. I assume you are familiar with these?

Ok... The different colors on the map represent the different rocks that outcrop on the surface.

For example, the gray with the red slashes across it, with the Pkc is the undiferentiated Kaibab Limestone and Coconino Sandstone.

When we get to there on the map, we are going to find where those contacts are, and differentiate them for newer maps.

See, this small section here on this map is scaled up to cover this entire sheet here, Maud. We will need to fill in the detailed geology on this map.

That includes faults, strike and dip of beds, unique minerals we might find... The whole shebang.

That's correct... There may be a few igneous rocks exposed on the flanks of the swell, but that's not gonna be the biggest part of what we are looking at.

 

Oh... And the squiggly lines on the map... Those are contour lines. They show the surface topography of the land on the map. If you were to walk along one, you would be staying completely flat.

Buckle your seatbelt, Maud... And take a look at these maps while I drive. We are going for a supply stop, since this city is the last real bastion of civilization before we reach the wilderness.

We need to buy food, so think of what you might want to eat, and if you need any specific supplies... We should be able to find all of that before we head out.

Alright, ready to pay a visit to the store? You thought of anything you might need?

I... was under the impression ponies generally didn't wear much clothing?

I suppose that makes sense... I always wear long pants, even in the heat of the summer when doing field work. We'll see what they have at the store, here.

 

Alright maud, they should have a small section of pony clothing over here... You gonna need a hat to go with it? The sun out here in the desert can be rough.

So, a hat it is.

See anything that fits your needs, Maud?

Grab a hat too. Wide brimmed, with a strap so you won't loose it in the wind.

Nice choice.

So, what kinds of food do you want that don't need to be kept cold, Maud?

Well, Maud, there's only one thing I keep cold while doing field work... But we'll come to that later.

 

So, Maud. You drink beer?

Good to hear. This is the one thing thats worth carting ice out in the the Utah desert. You'll probably like some of it after a hard day's work out in the field.

 

You familiar with Laccoliths, Maud?

Well, thats what we call an igneous body that was injected between sedimentary layers... Kinda has a mushroomish shape.

Them tall snow capped peaks off to the south there, thats a big ol' Laccolith.

Im pretty sure it's mostly porphyritic diorite... Nice place to go hiking. Cool, even in the summer.

 

Ya alright, Maud?

Uhh... Sorry... I wish I could help you there, but I really don't know how.

 

Alright... Whatever.

Sorry Maud... Apparently no shower for you tonight.

Yeah, well, this is the last shower chance for probably a week. Starting tomorrow, we are gonna be in the heart of the swell, and we are only gonna come out when we need gasoline and ice.

And thats only to some shit gas station here or Emery if we are too far west... Fuckin 110 miles of no services on the god damned interstate...

You familiar with tent camping, Maud? I got a tent for you, and a tent for me. Also, got you some good warmer weather sleeping stuff as well... Some small cots to keep us elevated off the ground while we are sleeping.

Alright, lets set up for the night, and used to the equipment before we are out in the wilderness.

 

You like rice and beans, Maud?

Alright then. We are gonna have...

Uhh... Vegetarian cajun red beans and rice.

Aight, Maud, Dinner.

 

Yeah... Llanite from Central Texas. Only one outcrop thats publicly accessable, and even on private property there isn't much of it. Not many places you find something that looks like that.

Human igneous petrologists are silly, and like to make up lots of extraneous names for their rock types. It is just a wierd porphyritic rhyolite. Fuckers make life too hard on themselves.

Or, more likely, they make it miserable for anyone not in their little clique to understand what the hell they are talking about.

Anyway, dinner is served.

 

Maud, you want a beer too?

So, most of our work is gonna be in detailing out the members the Chile and Moenkopi. Most of the other stuff shouldn't need quite as much work.

Well... The names come from the place where someone first described them. And we give them such names, because we want to map them over a large area, and names make it easy to keep track of them on the large scale.

Eh, it might make more sense once we get out and start mapping stuff, Maud.

 

Yeah, its cheap shit. Tastes nice after a day of work though.

Damn... about time to go to bed.

Remember, Maud, your tent is the Yellow one. I'll wake you up in the morning.

Gnite, Maud.

 

Hey, you awake in there Maud?

When you are ready to come out, you should be able to open it up by sticking your hoof through that hole and kinda pushing to the side.

You take coffee, Maud?

 

Up and at 'em, slowpoke. We need to get on the road soon so we can to get more stuff done before it gets too hot to be walking around. Coffee is on the picnic table.

Yeah, it's instant coffee. Quick, and easy, even if it tastes like crap. Gets ya going better than regular coffee... the little bit of rage you get from the bad taste adds a nice edge.

Here, have a granola bar, Maud.

Aight, lets get in the truck. You can finish your coffee and granola bar once we hit the road.

 

Alright Maud, say goodbye to civilization. Its time to get out into some true wilderness.

That's it Maud. The eastern edge of the San Rafael Swell.

That would be a correct assessment, Maud. Looks like you are picking this map thing up pretty quickly.

 

 

Black Dragon Canyon.

What, no? Dragons aren't real, they are mythological creatures. Someone just named the canyon we are gonna start working at after one. Probably cause of the dark veneer on the rocks.

We should set up camp around here... Can't camp too much further into the canyon, and there's a few decently flat places to make camp.

 

Alright, Maud, I got some canteens for you to carry your own water supply, and here's a few little bags you should be able to lay over your back...

Ain't got much to put in them now, so I guess you can be in charge of hiking specimens we pick up around in them.

Anway, we'll set up the tents and stuff later. For now, lets get out there, and get started on this project.

 

So, Maud, can you describe this rock right here?

Any other details?

Grain description? Use that little plastic card I gave you yesterday.

So, I know you were reading the map, do you know what part of the Moenkopi this should probably fall into?

I agree with your assessment of the situation, Maud.

Location 1. Upper Moekopi... Finegrained sandstone, Quartz Arenite, ripple marks... Alright, looks good.

Lets continue down this wash, and make a stop every few dozen yards, or if something obvious changes.

 

Wut?

Thats... Interesting. Gems aren't terribly common, especially not coming out of sedimentary rocks like this. In Colorado, there's a few places you can find 'gem' quality specimens, one I can think of off hand here in Utah...

But no... No gems lying everywhere.

Alright Maud. Lunch time. I got more granola bars, and some apples. We can have something a little more substantial for dinner.

Good shade trees are a rare commodity at this elevation... Bleh.

 

Alright, Maud, I think thats a day. Lets head back to the truck. I'll probably be easier if we get out of this wash, and back up to the trail.

So, Maud... If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up in Grand Junction.

Uh... Fair enough. How about all them gems you talked about?

 

How does that work... Magic?

So what... Unicorns only get magic?"

Drop the specimens we picked up today in the back seat while I get tents set up, Maud.

Aight, Maud, what do ya want for dinner? I was thinking something with couscous.

Even if it has meat in it?

I guess I'll cook some couscous and some beans.

 

Well, the air gets a little cool out here at night, but its more than that.

The fire, its entertaining, and comforting. The dancing light of the fire just has some kind of... magic.

Also, smelling like campfire is much preferred to smelling like hot sweaty ass when there's no bathing.

So, what did the tectonics of your world look like?

Wait... did you not know about plate tectonics in Equestria?

I suppose it shouldn't suprise me if you didn't really care so much about wide scale mapping, tectonics might not be a thing...

 

Well, Maud, the world we see is what we call the crust, a thin layer of rock basically floating on top of a bunch of hot, gooey rocks.

The rocks the crust sits on, the mantle, is kind of like silly putty... and as you might very well observe, the crust is rather solid and hard.

They crack, and break into big chunks that kinda slide around on top of this hot goopy stuff.

Where plates come together, you get mountains. Where they spread apart, you get volcanoes and stuff.

Atleast, thats the basic gist of it... When we are done with this project, I got a bunch of books you might want to look into.

You know what Maud, when we are done with this project, you might very well be the first pony to get their name on a published paper.

Well, yeah. You are knowledgeable on the subject at hand, and you are helping a good chunk with making the work move along quickly.

... How do academic publications work in Equestria?

Ok, how stuff tends to work, especially these days, is anytime people collaborate on research, they all get their names stuck on the paper thats published when its done.

Here's a paper I'm credited as an author on... See, A. N. Ymous.

 

Having your name out there is a way to increase your respect amongst your peers in your field. Prove you know what the fuck you are doing.

Shit, Maud, to be honest, you are doing more work than most credited authors on a paper do. Most of the time, a top line author doesn't do any of the damn work, and takes all the credit.

Thats what's nice about not being directly in academia...

Of course, that assumes my boss'll let me...

You have a last name, Maud?

Maud Pie? Not the strangest last name... A lot of people might not even realise M. Pie is a pony's name.

Still though, you deserve it if we can keep up the pace we had today.

Uh, glad to hear that.

And, sorry to hear so much of the rest of your time here was... less than ideal.

 

Alright, Maud, I think its bed time.

You gonna lay down as well, Maud? If not... I think I got an idea for making it so you can more easily work the zipper on the tent, actually.

Yeah, alright. These strings ought to help you get in and out of the tent yourself.

I suppose... But, honestly, where are you gonna go from here, Maud. There ain't anything out here for miles.

G'nite.

 

Morning, Maud. Im gonna make some oatmeal for breakfast. You got any additives you prefer? I got raisins, brown sugar, cinnamon...

 

You want some coffee this morning, Maud?

Alright Maud, two bowls of oatmeal, two cups of coffee.

Alright, Maud, you ready to head out for another day of field work?

Well, I was thinking we could either head further down black dragon canyon, or go up a little more.

I guess going up would be a good choice today... We can pack up camp, and drive down, and work the canyon on the way back to civilization tommorow.

Well... I want to get some more supplies for you, and we can restock on water and fuel, and possibly do a bit of laundry.

 

To be honest, you are gonna need more than just one shirt to wear, Maud. The one you have is gonna get icky.

I was also thinking of getting a camelbak for you as well. They are damn handy for grabbing a drink without having to stop so much.

Though, that means today is probalby gonna be particularly warm... Not gonna be as much cover uphill from here.

So, Maud... Woudl you be offended if i used 'meat' flavored stuff for some of the dishes I cook? Not necessarily actual chunks of meat, but like...

Chicken boullion flavor in stuff like couscous and rice and shit.

Well, when we get to the store, we can look through stuff you would consider acceptable.

Though, tonight, I think, I'm gonna cook some pasta with tomato sauce... Nothing offensive to your sensibilities there, right?

 

 

Dinner's ready.

So, we'll probably spend tommorow night down in Moab. I think you'll get a kick out of some of the stuff around there.

Plus, they ought to have all the stuff we need for resupplying there.

 

And the morning after that, we could maybe pay an early morning visit to Arches.

Arches National Park... Big chunk of land set aside as protected for people to go visit. Has big ass rock arches.

We should be able to get up early, see a few of the important sites, and still get back up to these parts to keep on mapping.

 

Pancakes for breakfast, Maud.

Feel free to grab a few pancakes, Maud. Got syrup on the table. No butter though...

 

Question for you Maud... You familiar with the concept of radioactivity?

Then we might have a treat for you today. Possibly some mineral's you've never seen before... Or, atleast, you were missing out on an important property of them.

Ill show you when we get there... There's some old mines we should be going near. Should be able to find some stuff to collect.

You ready for the day? Water, and such?

Jump in the truck... We are gonna park a little further down, and move the truck as we map today.

 

Alright, lets get some mapping done before we head into town.

Yup. Old uranium prospect.

Uranium. Radioactive, unstable atom containing immense ammounts of energy.

Back in the 50s and 60s, people came out here and ran little uranium prospects out of these cliffs.

This is a geiger counter... It lets you detect ionizing radiation. Which you get from things like uranium.

 

So, what you are looking for here for the uranium minerals is most likely going to be sort of a yellow crust on the rocks.

And be careful... Try not to breathe in dust if you knock an up, and don't pick up stuff with your mouth.

The mineral we are most likely to find is carnotite, possibly tyuyamunite as well.

There's plenty of other uranium bearing minerals, but they are less common.

Sure, here ya go.

Ionizing radiation... is not terribly good for the DNA in large doses, plus whats more relevant in a place like this, is worrying about heavy metal poisoning.

Lead, uranium, vanadium, cobalt... All stuff you can find atleast some of in these ore deposits. None of it good to be inhaling.

Yup. If you are coming in, watch your head.

 

Alright, Maud, that looks about like what I came up here to find, as an aside to the mapping.

Can't say for sure what all these little crsytals are, but this is a nice chunk of stuff to take as a souveneir.

Sweet. Lemme stash this in a bag in my backpack...

Eh, its not too bad. I wouldn't want to carry it around in my front pocket on a daily basis, but, I have places at home to safely store this kinda stuff for the long term.

And, stashing it in a box behind the drivers seat is fine too.

 

Alright, lunch time, Maud. After we eat, we can take the truck down the narrowest portion of the canyon...

It should be pretty easy, considering most of it is gonna be Navajo Sandstone.

Yup. Get some more equipment for you, showers for the both of us...

Maybe go somewhere we could get some good beer instead of the shit we've had the last few days.

Stow your chair and jump in on your side when you are done, Maud. Im gonna stash a few things, and look over a few maps real quick.

 

I got a decent house in the suburbs of Denver... I have a guest room I'll make into your room, when we are done with this project.

I'm gonna have to go back to the office, and draft up a map using all the data we are collecting.

I'm... Not entirely sure? I might be able to talk the boss into letting you work on the project with me at the office, if you'd like that.

Otherwise... You'll have to probably hang around the house.

There's a big ass fault that runs right down this canyon. Thats why the one side is so much taller than the other.

Look at that faulting right there, Maud. How about that, eh?

 

So, ready to do a bit of shopping? My favorite outdoor equipment store is just up the road from here.

...Nah, we want to refill the water. This store has free filtered water available, so we want to take advantage of that while we can.

So, first, lets get you some more equipment. Last time I was here, they seemed pretty pony friendly in their stocking habits.

Yeah, that would be ideal... In this kind of heat, having the right stuff to wear can make all the difference between comfort and misery.

 

Hey, you got a section for pony sized outerware, man?

Alright, cool. How about camelbaks?

Thanks, man.

So, Maud, these are probably what you want. Go ahead and pick two, that'll bring you up to 3 shirts to cycle through.

Alright, now for a backpack.

I think this one will do the best, Maud.

 

I'll be back in a minute... Need to fill up my water jugs.

Uhh... She's my work assistant. Doing field work up on the San Rafael Swell.

I guess some people might consider it an adventure.

See ya, dude.

Well, we got a little time to kill... I suppose Dead Horse Point State Park might work as a decent place to visit this afternoon.

 

Its, uh, a place with a hell of a view of the canyonlands near here.

So, Maud, from this overlook, you can see the deeply incised Colorado River, the La Sal Mountains over there, the Abajo Mountains off to the south...

Some potash mine drying pools down there...

Read the story for how this place supposedly got its name, eh?

Human's are assholes, Maud. Even moreso in the past, it seems.

 

I do what I can... I know you are legally... my property.

I won't make you work with me, if you choose not to.

But... You always sound so... uncaring... melancholy?

Come on, Maud, lets go to the gooseneck overlook.

Yeah... The idea of parks like this are fairly recent... Only about 150 years.

For what?

We best head back to town, Maud... Need to restock a bit on groceries, and ice. And we need to pay a visit to the brewery...

 

There any non-perishables you can think you would want, Maud?

Would you uh... be alright with meat flavored stuff? No meat in it, though...

Something like this. I mean, in Japan, it would totally be considered vegetarian...

Alright, we can do a trial run with this, then.

I think we are good... We can grab ice at the checkout.

Alright, how about something nice for dinner for once.

 

Alright, just gotta go across the street Maud... We are gonna have some dinner at the Brewery.

Nah, we are gonna grab some seats at the bar, thanks though.

I'll... take the oatmeal stout. What do you want, Maud?

Eh... She'll have the Hefeweizen.

You'll like it, Maud.

 

Well, Maud, they do have some good vegetarian stuff here. The chili is pretty rockin.

Yeah, I'll take the burrito, and she'll have the chili.

Yeah. Wheat beer. Pretty good, eh?

Because, one, it's expensive.

Two, repeated heating and cooling that may come with a cooler in the wilderness will ruin beer.

There's not much to ruin with Coor's, but the deliate deliciousness of something like that, would be a sin to let go bad.

Though, we can maybe grab a six pack on the way out for you... Just gotta make sure you drink it fairly quickly.

 

Hey, maud, if you like that one, you might like this one.

Oatmeal stout. Sweet, dark, delicious.

Drink on up then. Maybe the bartender will let you sample some of the other ones...

I dunno how much you'll like the hoppier beer.

Yeah... The bitterness in beer comes from a plant called hops.

I'm not the hugest fan of super hoppy beer, but it can be an OK thing sometimes.

You guys do flights? She wants a flight of each of your beers besides the hefewizen and stout.

 

I guess I'll take a hefeweizen... Something extra refreshing.

Mmmmm... Burrito... Dig into your chili Maud, its good stuff.

That's gonna be the hoppiest of them all, Maud.

Good to know.

Is that a bad thing?

 

Well see, next time we get a day off from mapping... or we can come spend a few days here when we are done with the project all together.

Aight, Maud. Tab is paid off, lets head back to camp. Wea get up for our early morning hike.

We are gonna hike up to Delicate Arch to watch the sunrise. You'll like it.

Alright, Maud, you sober enough to go take a shower?

OK then.

Here's a towel, and some soap. Go get cleaned up.

***

~~~~~

Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!

Rise and shine!

We gonna do fast food breakfast, so once you get up, and your tent down, we can hit the road.

We gonna do the breakfast of champions... McDonalds.

A little hung over this morning, Maud?

Well then, another perfect reason to go to McDonalds. Get some powerade with... whatever you order.

Do you eat eggs?

 

You ever had any food from here before, Maud?

Then... You probably want like and egg and cheese muffin or biscuit.

Uhh, yeah, I'll have the... breakfast burrito combo, and an Egg McMuffin combo, hold the ham.

Sit here real quick, food should be out real quick.

Feelin' any better after eating?

Sure, gimme your cup, I'll go refill both of them.

 

Finish it up, and then we can hit the road. Gotta get out to the earch early.

Here we are, Maud. Let's grab our packs, and we can begin the hike. A mile and a half up, and the same back.

 

Alright Maud... At the top of the big open rock face. Just a little more, twisting through some small canyons.

Alright, Maud. This... this is what we came up here to see. Delicate Arch.

The sun will be rising fairly soon. So, find a comfortable spot to sit and watch the show.

 

Heh... Sounds like someone else tried to get up here for sunrise, but didn't quite make it.

Want to go take a closer look at the arch? You can go right up to it.

 

Yup. Decided to take a sunrise hike up to the arch before I headed back into the field.

Yeah... She is my field assistant.

I brought her up here, I figured she'd get a kick out of seeing the arch at sunrise.

Really good, in fact...

As far as I can tell, she holds a Ph.D. equivalent geology degree from her world.

She has picked up human theories and field methods amazingly quickly.

As far as I can tell from my own interacitons with them, they are quite intelligent.

 

Alright, Maud.

When you are done, we can start heading back to the truck.

There's a few other easy to get to places in the park you might enjoy seeing while we are heading out.

Go for it, Maud. I'll be sitting back by the end of the trail, taking in the sights as well.

Doing some detailed mapping in the San Rafael Swell.

I trust her. We work together in the wilderness, away from easy access to help.

She enjoys the work we do, and I trust her if something ever happens and I require help.

Alright then.

 

Alright, on the way out, we can hit up Balanced Rock, Sarah's Cock, and Park Avenue.

Yeah, there's a funny story to that... It's mostly a hoodoo that looks like a big penis.

It's... a human euphemism. Don't think about it too much.

Alright, Maud. Balanced Rock.

Nah, not really... Just looks like it, seeing the larger rock on top of the narrow column.

They are definitely cemented together, not just balancing.

You wanna hike up to the base, or are you just fine with observing it from here?

Yeah. Almost 130 feet tall, if i remember correctly.

There's plenty of arches in the park... Delicate is probably the most famous.

Back thataway is Double Arch, and The Windows.

 

That one.

That's Sarah's Cock.

Yup.

Alright, one more good stop before we hit the road, and go back to doing field work.

Park Avenue.

That one's the Tower of Babel, and that one is The Organ.

 

Alright, Maud, this is a nice short walk to get a good view of this canyon. Lots of impressive hoodoos going on here.

My favorite hoodoos in here is the one over there that looks like its flipping you off, and the other one that looks like a giant cock'n'balls.

Oh, uh... human term for a rude gesture. Raising your middle finger and pointing it at someone is considered rude.

Eh, it doesn't even mean that everywhere in the world. Just a cultural thing.

Yeah... Its still iconic here though.

Anyway, when you are done, we can hit the road back to the San Rafael Swell.

I'm honestly not too well versed, but I did hear you say something about a 'celestia'.

 

Thank you... That gives some insight into how you responded this morning.

Alright, this time, we are gonna head to the far side of the San Rafael Swell, and do some mapping on the eastern flank.

 

Wait here for a moment, Maud.

God fuckin damn it... Worst fuckin' place to have a god damned flat tire.

Got a flat tire...

On a not flat rough surface...

Get on out the truck for now...

The less weight we have on the suspension while I'm lifting it up, the better.

 

Fuckin' god damned bullshit...

 

I guess, push it that away to get the damn thing loose.

The hell? How strong are you?

Well, thanks... Now, stand back. I'm gonna lift the truck up so we can switch the tires out.

A non-flat, gravelly road is not the safest place to attempt this, but there aint any flat place nearby, and there sure as hell aint any flat stable surfaces...

 

Alright, Maud... Back in the truck.

We are probably gonna have to take a little longer than planned trip back to civilization for fixing this, Maud.

Right, we are gonna go to Richfield, Maud. Its further west from here, and we get to drive over the Wasatch range.

A lower part, addmitedly, but still.

 

I think I'm gonna get us a hotel room tonight, Maud. It'll be good to have real beds, and a proper shower to stay in.

Also, television and electricity. Good to get all the electronics charged without having to use the power inverter...

Uhhh... Sorry about keeping that going with all the camping.

Sorry 'bout that. When we are done with this project, you'll have your own bed and room at my house to look forward to.

 

So, lets go get the truck fixed, then we can both get bathed, and hopefully by then the truck will be done getting looked over.

Then, we can try to find something to eat. I don't think we'll get anything as good as the brewery...

 

I need a replacement tire. My rear driver side got a flat as I was offroading this morning.

Yeah... You are probably right. I'll replace all 5 tires...

Alright, put it on the card. You got the same style of tires in stock, right?

Excellent. Im gonna head back to my hotel room on foot. Ill probably be back in around 2 hours or so to get the truck picked up.

Lemme grab some stuff out of the bed, and I'll give you the keys.

 

Oh man... Looking forward to this shower.

Alright, Maud, I'll let you take the first shower.

Well, here, they should have soap and shampoo dispensers in the shower. You might need a lot, but there should be enough.

 

Alright, awesome, TV remote is on the bedside table if you want to watch something else.

 

Alright, you ready to go get something for dinner?

Well, let's go to Taco Bell... They are quick, cheap, easy, and have decent vegetarian options.

You'll probably want to get like a bean burrito or something, Maud.

We can go check. And, when we are done with dinner, we are gonna need to do some laundry.

Ok, cool. You put the charge on the card?"

Alright.

Alright, Maud. Dinner time.

 

Alright, Maud. This is a fast food restaraunt. Its cheap, but most stuff here is fairly tasty.

Their refried beans are vegetarian, so that should fit in with what you are willing to eat.

The bean burrito is like, beans, cheese, and sauce wrapped in a tortilla.

Its like... A thin bendable piece of bread you can wrap stuff up in. It's common in Mexican cuisine.

What were you fed before you came to work with me?

Well, is what we've been eating out in the field acceptable?

Alright...

 

You OK with the burrito, Maud?

Uhh, yeah, I'll have 3 soft tacos, a bean burrito, and two soft drinks.

Well... You might want to put just a little bit from one in your cup and try it till you find one you like.

Most of them are gonna be pretty damn sweet, though.

Nah, Maud... stuff that has alcohol in it tends to be controlled, not openly accessable like this.

 

Well, most root beer isn't actually beer, or alcoholic. It also doesn't taste much like beer either.

So, what did you decide on, Maud?

Alrighty, well, here is your burrito. If you want it to be spicy, here's some hot sauce.

 

Yeah, its been a pretty long time since washing clothing by hand was really a thing. I mean, some of my grandparents did it in their youth, but even they had some mechanical assistance.

Well, here, we just wait once we start the machine. This'll probably take about 40 minutes, then maybe an hour in the dryer.

 

We've done a pretty good job following the changes in the Chinle...

You can see the Temple Mountain Member get thicker here, and then pinch out over there.

Well, where it's thicker, we are probably looking at being closer to the depocenter for that part.

The part where it thins then pinches means we are looking at the furthest that sediment was carried away from the source, probably down to the Southwest.

Alright... Time to flip the load.

 

Honestly, not as much as I'd like. I have to spend most of my time working in an office...

Paperwork, working with remotely collected data, stuff like that.

Assignments like this are a nice change of pace I try to take when I can get 'em, even if this one was particularly large.

You alright, Maud?

Well, that's somewhat up to you. I could try to get you to come into my office to assist me with projects there, if my boss allows it.

You could always just kinda do your own thing while I am at work.

A few times a month, I will do day trips, or single night trips to do some field work. You can always come assist me on those.

I'm sorry, you might be kinda bored a lot if I can't get you into the office.

Meh... reasonable size for the area. Why do you ask?

 

Rock farming?

I... Dunno if that quite works around these parts. But, if you want to, you can try it. I'll get together any supplies you need.

Irrigation. The right kinds of crops. Careful management of the precipitation that falls up in the mountains and comes down to these valleys.

People have lived in this climate for a long time, even without our modern technology. If you are cautious and prepared, it's quite doable.

 

There anything you can think of us needing before we head out into the wilderness?

Alright, sounds good.

Let's hit the road then, Maud. We are gonna start up at the top of the mountain and do some measuring, then see what we can get from the bottom.

 

Right, so while we are driving up onto the top of this mountain, let's discuss how we are gonna take care of studying these tall cliffs.

You are gonna have the simple job, Maud. You get to stay at the top, and I will talk to you on the radio with what I need you to write down.

I am going to repel down the cliff off the whinch cable, and when I get to the bottom, you will have to turn the whinch on to pull me back up.

Roughly 1000 feet from the top of the ridge to the valley floor... But, the rope I have attached to the winch is only 500 feet.

That ought to cover the actual cliffs though, so this should work out fine. We should be able to reach the rest on foot from the bottom.

Oh, that's easy enough. You should have no problems with the controls.

 

I'd say both of your observations are correct, Maud.

 

I worry about you. You are driven when it comes to field work, and I worry about how you are going to handle not working like this, Maud.

I feel bad enough that by law you are my property, and that you might have to be lonely and bored out of your mind all the time when I'm not doing field work.

Well... What more do you wish for?

That should be easy enough once we return to civilization.

I'll see how I can help there as well... You might be able to use the internet to try and find them.

 

Well, being out here in the wilderness, I don't get much use of it. But I'll give you free reign of it when we get back to Denver.

Hell, I'll even get you set up with your very own computer in your room. I have the stuff lying around to get you a workable desktop for internet browsing.

Well, we probably got another week out here before we have all the info we need.

And I think we can take a little detour before we head back to Denver. There's a few other national parks I think you might enjoy.

Your sisters?

Ideally, Maud, you will be able to figure out where they are, what they are doing, and keep in communication with them.

 

Alright Maud, GPS mark 2354, we are looking at Upper Cedar Mountain formation, over.

Good.

Alright, Mark 2355, contact between the upper and lower Cedar Mountain, over.

Alright, sounds good, continuing downward.

Alright, Maud. Im at the end of the line. On my mark, begin pulling up the rope. Over.

Mark.

 

Good work, Maud. That worked out well.

I think we got time for another one or two down the road before we set up camp for the night.

 

Alright, I think we are good for today Maud. Let's go set up camp.

 

A nice clear visible night sky.

Nah, Maud... Big cities have lots of lights that light up the streets at night, making it hard to see all but the brightest stars.

Most places, you can't even see the Milky Way.

Yup.

How so?

 

It's a big concentration of stars of the galaxy in which Earth and the Solar system resides.

That bright area of it right there is the galactic center. I'll probably have to get you some astronomy texts when we get home.

I imagaine a lot of what I just rambled off didn't make any damn sense to you considering how different your world is.

You want one while I'm up, Maud?

Life is good.

 

So, Maud. Get up, and I think we have a treat this morning at the overlook nearby.

Ready for some coffee before we take a short hike?

Alright, Maud. Let's let the coffee and oatmeal cool down a little bit. Let's go over to the overlook.

Should be. I've never been up here for a sunrise, but we should have a very nice watching the sun rise over the Book Cliffs and the Tavaputs Plateau way off to the east from this elevation.

 

I figured you'd like it.

 

We're done, Maud. The mapping I was assigned to complete, and you have assisted immensely with, is finished.

Once we pack up, we are gonna take a short sight seeing trip before we head back home to Denver. Gonna take a trip down the Sevier Thrust Belt, and eventually down to the Grand Canyon.

Then, we can head up and spend another day in Moab. We can get some growlers from the brewery to take home. I know you like their Hefewiezen.

The Grand Canyon ain't the deepest in the world, but it its probably the most visually impressive.

Very much so, Maud. Humans travel from around the entire planet to see it. And pictures of it don't do justice to seeing it in the flesh.

We can also pay a visit to Bryce Canyon, and Zion as well... They are pretty much on the way. And are all very nice to take a look at. Lots of nice geology.

***

Maud, you hungry?

Indeed. There should be some nice picnic areas ahead in the national forest on the way to the park. If I see a good one, we can stop.

I'm thinkin... Rice-a-roni and green beans for lunch Maud. Sound alright for you?

 

Indeed... Wait till we get to the overlooks at the national park proper though... Definitely more impressive than what you see around us here.

We should be able to enjoy the setting of the sun there...

Howdy. There any spots open in any of the camp grounds for tent camping... For someone working for the USGS.

Thanks.

 

Alright, lets get our tents set up, then we can go take in some of the views here in Bryce Canyon.

Right. The overlook we want isn't too far of a walk. So, lets take a walk on over there, and we can do a nice little hike down into the canyon, and come back up to the rim for watching the sunset.

Indeed. Lots of nice hoodoos. That one over there, we call Thor's Hammer.

 

So, you want to take a nice little hike down among the hoodoos while we wait for the sun to set?

Careful, the trail is a bit steep.

They were a bunch of rocks deposited in a lake. And the freeze-thaw cycle gives us the cool looking erosional patterns as the ice pushes the rocks apart in their vertical joints.

We ought to head back up soon if we want to get a good spot for watching the sunset, Maud.

 

Alright, time to head back to camp and get some dinner put together.

Hmmm...

 

Gonna leave here tommorow morning and ride on down to the Grand Canyon's north rim. Gonna find somewhere to spend tommorow night there.

Then, I think after that, we can head back to Moab, spend the night there and maybe do some more sight seeing there, then take the interstate across the Rockies and end up home.

Yeah, I dunno if we can squeeze that one in on this trip. Maybe next time I get some time off, we can come back out this way.

 

Alright, Maud. We gonna fuel up here, then go over to the little restaurant there. They make damn good cookies, and have all kinds of sammiches for lunch.

Table for two, please.

 

Looks like unless you want to start eating meat, Maud, you are kinda limited to the garden burger, the grilled portabella, the cheese sandwich, or the vegetarian sandwich.

I'll take a diet coke and the house special, no tomato.

 

Uhh... If I were to guess, she uhhh... probably got the wrong idea of our relationship.

Some humans have strong religious convictions, and look at uhh... laying with a 'beast' to be high on their list of 'shit you don't do'.

I suppose.

A lot of the thickness is a bunch of relatively flat lying sedimentary rocks starting with the Kaibab Limestone, which you should recognize as one of the lowest units from the swell.

That's Permian in age, so roughly 270 million years old. The lowest of the roughly flat rocks is the Tapeats Sandstone, which is Cambrian, so like 600 plus million years old.

Below that is a big unconformity that has a bunch of tilted Precambrian Rocks. They sit on top of the oldest rocks, the Vishnu Schist and the Zoroaster Granite.

They are roughly 1.7 to 2 billion years old.

That is correct. What you see here in the Grand Canyon, with what you saw further north in the San Rafael area, is probably one of the most complete stratigraphic columns anywhere.

All exposed on the surface, too. It's one reason its such a great place to come and study.

 

So, this is the most easily visited ovelrook here on the north rim, Maud.

Indeed, let us continue. Out at the end of this trail, you can get a much better view than back here.

 

That's the south rim visitor center over there... Only about 10 miles as the crow flies, but we'd have to drive significantly further to get around the top of the canyon to get down there.

It's also about 1000 feet lower in elevation. There's a big fault lifting this side of the canyon higher.

That's why I brought you here. Ya done good in helping me work, and I figured you'd appreciate all this.

Once we get back to Denver, and I do my regular work, we can do weekend trips into the Rockies, but nothing super close is as impressive as what you see here.

Let's head back to the lodge. There's a few other really nice overlooks and short hikes we can do this afternoon while we are up here.

 

Excellent. We ought to get to Moab by lunch time. Maybe we can hike up to the La Sals, and if the air is clear enough, maybe get a good birds eye view of the San Rafael Reef.

 

Alright, Maud. Restrooms here, no other good ones for a few hours probably.

Also, we can take a look at the old bridge here and walk across the start of the Grand Canyon.

Ready to take a walk out on the bridge?

 

You got it, Maud.

This is a place called Monument Valley... It's been used as a shooting location for a lot of films.

It is definitely a good slice of the terrain of the southwest.

 

You want to go pay a visit to the mountains up above town here?

I know you said you wanted to take a look at some igneous rocks, and we didn't get to see much while we were mapping.

Indeed. Its maybe a 45 minute drive up to the top of the middle set of peaks, so lets drop a few things off in our room, then head on up there.

 

You feeling alright, Maud? The elevation getting to you?

Yup. Sounds like some minor elevation sickness. Entirely understandable...

We just climbed about 6000 feet of elevation pretty damn quickly.

I know I used to get elevation sickness pretty bad before I got more acclimatized to it.

You still good to do maybe a little bit of hiking? There's some nice glacial features up here.

Alright then.

This shouldn't be too bad at all... Maybe a vertical rise of a few hundred feet as we climb up into the basin.

Get a good look at some hanging valleys with cirques, some real nice moraines, and some real nice tarns.

You familiar with glacial landforms, right Maud?

 

You can go first Maud... Make good use of this to feel better. We got a night at the brewery ahead of us.

 

Right. Ready for the brewery, Maud?

Indeed.

Nice one.

Yeah... It would demean the both of us, Maud.

 

Bartender, time to tab out.

We'll see Maud.

 

Feelin alright this morning, Maud?

Well, rise and shine. Today, we drive across the Rocky Mountains, and this evening you'll get to see your room in my house.

Alright, grab everything, time to check out and hit the road.

 

Come on in and grab a gatorade or something. It always helps after drinking too much.

 

Eh, no problem, Maud. We got plenty of time today. I think there are some picnic tables out in front you should be able to speak with your friend.

Well, I'm gonna grab a drink and a snack. I'll get a gatorade for you, then I'll come join you outside if you don't mind.

 

Uhh, yeah. She hasn't really gotten to use it because well... I haven't had any access to it really either. But, she'll have her own computer at home, yes.

***

Well, if your sister likes parties, that's probably one of the best places for her to end up. New Orleans is a pretty crazy place.

Far. Probably a 20ish hour drive.

Rainbow Dash. This has my email address on it. Maud doesn't have any digital presence yet, but you can email me, and we can make sure you stay connected once she gets settled at home.

Yeah, I like coming out here to western Colorado. I'll see if we can arrange something next time Maud and I head out this way.

 

Yeah, this area we are driving through now Maud is riddled with lots of old gold and silver mines.

 

EPILOGUE

 

Dear diary;

 

That's how you are supposed to start this kinda stuff, right? Well, I have decided to write down a record of the happenings and goings on during my stay on Earth.

 

Firstly, my room in Anon's home is pretty nice. A comfortable bed, my own computer, and a space Anon lets me have to myself. He's also let me try to start a rock farm in his yard. I dunno how well it'll work, but it's a fun side project.

 

Speaking of work, I go to Anon's office a few times a week to review what he is doing on the map we did the field work for. Now, the entire thing is almost done, and he got permission to put my name as second author on the map. Apperantly, that will make me the first pony to be put on a scientific paper in this world. Which he says is a big deal.

 

I've also gotten ahold of Pinkie, and through her Marble. Pinkie is throwing lots of parties, and seems to be having a pretty good time. Anon said we could try to go visit her sometime. That would be great. Marble... She has internet access, but I don't like to think about what she has to do in her servitude. I've also been talking to Rainbow Dash. Anon said next time we head out to Utah, Rainbow can come camping with us. He talked to her owner, and came to an agreement to let us spend time together.

 

That's all for now.

 

-M. Pie