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Dangerous Amoeba - Rebels and Pones (WiP) Comedy/Cute/'War'

By rmp
Created: 2020-12-19 06:11:34
Expiry: Never

  1. Author: Dangerous Amoeba
  2. Pastebin URL: xdypi0PQ.html
  3. Date: Aug 11th, 2015
  4.  
  5. ------
  6.  
  7. >Six months later Celly receives video of a shackled Blueblood being brutally petted.
  8. --------------------------------------------------------
  9. >The human petting Blueblood is wearing a ski mask looking at the camera.
  10. >Blueblood is on the person's lap, trying not to cry, but has tears streaming down his face.
  11. --------------------------------------------------------
  12. >"If you do not meet our demands, more of your brothers will fall, for ours."
  13. >the man places his hand on one end of Blue Bloods neck
  14. >"ALLAH-HU-AKBAR!"
  15. >He runs his hand across his neck multiple times, scratching
  16. >Making sure to use his finger tips to dig deep and get the sensitive areas
  17. >Blue Blood finally falls asleep
  18. >All the Canterlot officials look on terror, disgust and a few cry.
  19. --------------------------------------------------------
  20. >"We can do this hard way or the easy way, your choice."
  21. >>"You're getting nothing from me! Human!"
  22. >"Your choice. Brian, take it from here."
  23. >The large human walks over to the pony tied to the table.
  24. >His face covered in scars, muscles rippling as he walks.
  25. >"You sure you don't want to reconsider?"
  26. >>"Eat hay!"
  27. >"Suit yourself."
  28. >The other human leaves and the gargantuan takes his place.
  29. >The human takes a rag and ties it across the pony mouth.
  30. >"Bwuug -uoo!"
  31. >He cracked his fingers, knuckles and does some stretches.
  32. >Before giving a menacing smile and going to work
  33. >Despite the rag, the hallways quickly fill with muffled laughter
  34. >Other prisoners cover their ears, to try and escape the horrific sounds.
  35. >Some crying
  36. --------------------------------------------------------
  37. >The Canterlot officials look at the new magic video of the rebels torturing captured guards.
  38. >A large pool filled with water
  39. >Rebels standing all around, each holding a pony.
  40. >The rebels walk out to the pool on walkways over them.
  41. >Then hold the pony guards above the water.
  42. >The guards start crying and paddling their hoofs
  43. >"NO! NO PLEASE! I-I CAN'T SWIM!"
  44. >>"Should have thought of that before, imperial! ALLAH-HU-AKBAR!"
  45. >A chorus later, and all the guards are gently lowered into the pool.
  46. >The immediately start crying.
  47. >"NO! IT'S COLD! IT'S COLD!"
  48. >they violently stomp their hoofsies in the half pony leg deep water
  49. >"I WANT MY MOMMY!"
  50. >Many of the officials look away, princess Luna looks on in anger, Twilight in sadness.
  51. >The officials whisper to each other, some comforting the others.
  52. >Princess Celestia has a single tear roll down her cheek and princess cadence puts a solemn hoof on her side.
  53. >The guards are eventually picked up again, still crying and cradled.
  54. >>"Who's a bad pony?!"
  55. >The officials gasp at the psychological torture.
  56. >"I-I AM! WAAAH-HAAA! I don't wanna be a bad pony! I'm sorry!"
  57. >The guard pony hides his face behind his hoofs and keeps crying.
  58. >>"Bad pony! No frosting on cake tonight!"
  59. >The streams is ended.
  60. >The entire crowd bursts into anger and argument on how this threat must be ended.
  61. >Princess Celestia comments:
  62. >>>"I fear, when we placed Blue Blood in change, we awakened a sleeping giant and filled it with a great resolve."
  63. --------------------------------------------------------
  64. >A few weeks later
  65. >Another pony crashes through the open window
  66. >A plastic block taped to his back
  67. >After setting up the complex VHS player, all the officials gather round too see the new atrocity being committed.
  68. >The video starts up with a walk through what is assumed is a rebel prison.
  69. >Guard ponies are in cells where the bed is too hard.
  70. >They all look sad, ears down, eyes on the floor.
  71. >>"I need to go to the bathroom sir!"
  72. >A guard pleads with his captor.
  73. >"No! You already had a bathroom break this hour. Only good ponies get more bathroom break."
  74. >>"I am a good pony! Please! I really need to go!"
  75. >"No!"
  76. >The officials are already tearing up, seeing the guards defeated face, as he slumps back down.
  77. >The scene changes to food being handed out.
  78. >Innocent oreos at first. Then it is realized, by the green band in the center.
  79. >>>"N-no...:
  80. >Celestia whispers...
  81. >MINT flavored.
  82. >One official almost throws up, he excuses himself.
  83. >The rebels pour milk into the glasses too thin to fit the oreo easily.
  84. >Princess Luna screams at the video
  85. >>>>"Unflavored milk! This is a war crime!"
  86. >The video closes up on the ponies trying to split their oreo into 2, but with hooves it's next to impossible.
  87. >The few unicorns received oreos with the cream scraped off and put on the side.
  88. >Princess Twilight slams her hoof, then excuses herself with tears in her eyes.
  89. >Guards attempt to dip the cookie into the glass of milk, but it's impossible as the glass is too skinny.
  90. >They crunch of the dry cookie, with defeat on their faces, some gently sobbing.
  91. >The video changes to one of the masked men.
  92. >"If you do not meet our demands! The conditions here will get much worst."
  93. >He says as he holds up a box of 3.5% milk and compliments oreo rip offs.
  94. >All the officials holding it in, start crying.
  95. >Princess Luna slams the table hard enough to break it, and Cadence comforts a crying Celestia.
  96. >>>>"ENOUGH!"
  97. >Celestia declares.
  98. >>>>"Prepare our guards! This means war!"
  99. --------------------------------------------------------
  100. >"SHHH. This is Cupcake. Alpha Two-One, alpha two-one. Come in Alpha. SHHH."
  101. >>"SHHH. Alpha two-one, go-ahead cupcake. SHHH."
  102. >The pony peddles on his aircraft's motor.
  103. >Flying deep over rebel controlled territory, eyeing targets to attack.
  104. >The pilot picks up the can and puts it to his ear, on the other end of the very-very-very-VERY long string, ground control ponies gather.
  105. >”SHHH. Alpha, there’s a small enemy manufacture plant, about 60 degrees from you. SHHH.”
  106. >>”SHHH. Copy that, I see em. SHHH.”
  107. >The pilot expertly maneuvers his aircraft to prepare to release his weapon.
  108. >”SHHH. Clear to engage Alpha. SHHH.”
  109. >He looks down to his HUD panel, the weapons available expertly drawn on with sharpie.
  110. >Selecting one, he prepares himself over the target.
  111. >Pushing a lever, the aircraft drops its ordinance.
  112. >In a few seconds, the weapon slams onto the rebel factory, covering it in frosting and a few cherries.
  113. >”SHHH. Good hit! Good hit! SHHH!”
  114. >Rebels run outside, covered in frosting. Some slipping.
  115. >”SHHH. Another target, 10 degrees down, 40 degrees. SHHH”
  116. >>”SHHH. Copy that.”
  117. >The pilot maneuvers his aircraft again. Peddling harder to accelerate.
  118. >In an instant, his cockpit system duck switches his normally calm green panel with a menacing red one.
  119. >The duck starts quacking repeatedly.
  120. >>”SHHH! SAM! SAM! SHHH.”
  121. >”SHHH. No, this is cupcake. SHHH.”
  122. >The pilot violently maneuvers his craft, trying to escape the trailing weapon.
  123. >Alas, it is in vain, as the melted Marshmallow smashes into the aircraft.
  124. >The pilot attempts to paddle, but his propeller is gunked up and he is unable to.
  125. >>”SHHH. Mayday! M-SHH-day! SAM hit, goi-SHH- down!SHHHHHH.”
  126. >”SHHH. Alpha is going down! Alpha is going down! Warn all aircraft of Surface to Air Marshmallows! SHHH”
  127. >The pilot quickly pulls his ejection popper.
  128. >The cockpit is blown off, and he’s launched out in a stream of confetti.
  129. >As soon as he is clear, balloons self-inflate and he holds the string
  130. >He sees his aircraft fall into the distance, his systems duck flying away.
  131. >He gently floats down towards the ground, rebels already preparing to greet him.
  132. --------------------------------------------------------
  133. >The princesses and other officials gather and wait anxiously for the next video.
  134. >A Pegasus pony crashes through an open window, on him another VHS.
  135. >With the tape quickly removed, the pony is, once again defenestrated.
  136. >The VHS begins to play.
  137. >A building with a courtyard, rebels inside the building.
  138. >At the center of the courtyard is a cage. inside is the captured pilot.
  139. >He stands there, looking scared and defeated.
  140. >The view pans to above the cage.
  141. >Underneath there is a grate, behind which something the ponies can only fear.
  142. >Tied to the grate are hundreds of streamers. A weapon banned under the pony rights code.
  143. >The Canterlot officials, even though they have been hardened by other videos, prepare themselves against what they are about to see.
  144. >Princesses at attention, trying to watch for every detail, and maybe hoping to do something.
  145. >No one dare make a sound, lest risk missing something.
  146. >Suddenly, there is a whirring sound.
  147. >The pilot looks around underneath him, and his fur starts to lift up.
  148. >Soon, the colorful streamers tied to the grate begin to lift up.
  149. >What must be a fan pushes the streamers and causes them to blow upwards.
  150. >A chorus of chants by the human follows this.
  151. >”BAD PONY! BAD PONY!”
  152. >The officials cringe, and one blocks her ears trying to forget the words.
  153. >The pilot quickly reacts, the streamers tickling his sensitive belly and under hooves.
  154. >His laughter fills the arena.
  155. >Once again many officials comfort each other; Princess Luna grinds her teeth and covers her tum-tum thinking about those streamers.
  156. >Twilight blocks her ears to the laughter, the sounds echo off the buildings and come back repeatedly.
  157. >The pilot attempts to escape the streamers tickling him, moving around almost as if he’s dancing.
  158. >The footage goes into slow motion and each streamer tickling his belly can be seen.
  159. >One official finally cries, while another just clenches his jaw and crushes his candy cigar.
  160. >Some tickle the pilots chin, and neck which causes him to yelp and laugh some more, trying to fend them off.
  161. >But he cannot, they’re everywhere and he can do nothing but laugh and try to protect his belly.
  162. >His eyes are filled with tears, his sides and jaw beginning to hurt.
  163. >But the streamers do not stop.
  164. >Princess Cadence finally snaps and begins to cry as well, hugging Twilight for comfort.
  165. >Eventually, the pilot falls asleep from exhaustion, and the fan is finally turned off.
  166. >As these videos always have, a man wearing a mask comes to the camera.
  167. >”This is only the beginning, if our demands are not met, there will be more.”
  168. >The man holds up extra-long feathers.
  169. >>”NO!”
  170. >Princess Luna screams from the top of her lung, directed at the masked man, but he cannot hear her.
  171. >She’s appalled by the use of magic feathers for such an evil deed.
  172. >She stands up and stomps off into the royal armory.
  173. >Princes Celestia who had hid her emotions thus far finally speaks.
  174. >>>”We do not know what Blue Blood did, however their response is unjustifiable. Prepare a war negotiation; we are officially at war with these humans.”
  175. --------------------------------------------------------
  176. >6 ponies make their way through the rebel occupied woods.
  177. >Making sure to check every tree and watch every step
  178. >In complete silence they walk, holding their weapons near.
  179. >Eventually, one pony puts a hoof up, signalling to hold.
  180. >Peering through his balloon binoculars, he closely watches every detail of the compound.
  181. >confetti wire forming a perimeter, behind the wire is a fence.
  182. >Made of strong wood and too tall to climb over without special equipment.
  183. >Inside multiple building and rebels patrolling them.
  184. >Including their target, a small rebel building holding information on the rebel activity.
  185. >Their leader eyes a path, around a few abandoned buildings, hopefully concealed from the patrols.
  186. >Satisfied, he signals and the team moves again.
  187. >They slowly walk to the back of the building, making sure to not be spotted.
  188. >>”Hold!”
  189. >One soldier almost screams out, and signals towards another’s hoof.
  190. >By the base of his hoof, is a small red thing.
  191. >The leader approaches cautiously and carefully with special tongs, lifts it in the air.
  192. >A 2 x 4 Lego brick.
  193. >The soldiers all collectively cringe, imagining what would happen had they stepped on one.
  194. >Now much more cautious, they all slowly move, clearing bricks as they saw them.
  195. >Finally, though slow progress, they approach their target.
  196. >The rebels weren’t cheap with security, the door handle is too high up, and it’s a knob type.
  197. >A soldier attempts opening it standing on his hind legs, but the knob keeps slipping.
  198. >Not even magic can turn the highly polished metal.
  199. >”Find a window, maybe we can climb in.”
  200. >Whispering words of affirmation, the soldiers get to work, searching for an opening in the building.
  201. >They find a window; unfortunately, it has curtains on it, complicating the entry.
  202. >The team expertly pushes the curtains aside, and 2 ponies jump into the room. Followed by the others.
  203. >Inside are walls covered in sticky notes, with drawings and writing.
  204. >A duck with a large butt and a long balloon between it, and a badly drawn bear with the writing ‘Ebin’
  205. >”Some kind of complex code I think. We’re gonna need the experts to crack this stuff.”
  206. >>”Sir, you better see this.”
  207. >The soldier hands his superior a piece of paper.
  208. >On it plans for a giant balloon, with a massive cream pie on top, crayoned on.
  209. >”By the sun, they must be planning on pie-ing all of Canterlot.”
  210. >The team collects all the data, snapping any crayon sets in half so they have a hard time remaking plans.
  211. >Then they jump out the window and make their way back towards the woods.
  212. >Just as they reach the house, an alarm starts blaring.
  213. >The team is promptly under fire, watermelon seeds pelting the ground.
  214. >”TAKE COVER! TAKE COVER!”
  215. >They return fire, hopefully keeping the rebels from advancing onto them.
  216. >>>”Over by the fence! Cherry thrower!”
  217. >A heavy cherry thrower opens onto them, the cherry shrapnel hitting them.
  218. >>”There’s the building over there sir!”
  219. >Following the soldiers pointing, there stands another building.
  220. >”Star! Batter! Get over there! Everypony else, covering fire! GO!”
  221. >The 2 ponies start running, one behind the other.
  222. >Seeds and cherries fly past them, one soldier almost there.
  223. >>”BPG!”
  224. >The balloon launched ordinance lands hits very close to the second soldier.
  225. >He falls backwards, landing on his back. Trapping him.
  226. >”Star! Keep running! Batter! Try getting up!”
  227. >He attempts to roll side to side and escape, but he cannot.
  228. >Seeds and cherries narrowly missing him as he lies there stuck.
  229. >He frantically waves his hoofsies to try and get himself upright, just like training, but it does’t work.
  230. >”Hold Batter! We’re coming! Mountain on me! Everypony else cover!”
  231. >The two run across to their injured comrade, ignoring the seeds and cherries.
  232. >”You’re fine soldier! Mountain! Hold him!”
  233. >Picking their injured friend up, they run towards the building.
  234. >Reaching it, they try to patch up the injured Batter.
  235. >He has cherry shrapnel embedded into his fur, it could take months to come out and he may even lose some fur.
  236. >The squad leader cringes at the idea.
  237. >”Flounder! Stock! Regroup! Everypony else cover!”
  238. >The final two run across the war zone, towards the other comrades.
  239. >Upon reaching them, the leader gives new orders.
  240. >”We’re gonna run across the field over there towards the forest! You understand?”
  241. >A chorus of yes sirs follows.
  242. >”Good! GO!”
  243. >They all charge towards the forest, mountain holding batter and everyone else shooting back while running.
  244. >Getting closer to the forest.
  245. >More seeds and cherries whip past, missing by hair lengths.
  246. >Another balloon hits close by, spraying cold gelato everywhere.
  247. >Very close to the forest now!
  248. >”Almost there!”
  249. >BOOM
  250. >One soldier steps on a bomb bag; the entire squad is thrown about, confetti spraying everywhere.
  251. >The lie on their sides, moaning.
  252. >Rebels close in on their technicals.
  253. >The leader tries one more attempt to fight back, lifting his side arm, and shooting.
  254. >Unfortunately, it jams, and he curses griffon design.
  255. >A few minutes later, they’re all lined up on the technical sides. Except for the leader, who’s left there lying.
  256. >Their belongings are taken, and dumped on another technical.
  257. >>>>”You should have never come here.”
  258. >”Eat cream!”
  259. >The leader still strong tries to insult the rebels.
  260. >>>>”Ha ha ha! You first.”
  261. >The human picks up the leader, holds him in view of his soldiers.
  262. >Placing his hand on his neck. The soldiers cringe, Mountain tries to look away but he’s forced not to by a large hand.
  263. >The human quickly rubs his hand over the leaders neck.
  264. >Scratching deep, getting all the most sensitive areas.
  265. >The leader squeaks and kicks and tries to fight it, but he cannot.
  266. >Soon, his leg is kicking on its own, and he quickly falls asleep.
  267. >Despite being no strangers to cruelty and war, the soldiers tear up and grind their teeth.
  268. >The human picks up their sleeping leader, and hands him to humans, who puts him in a deep carriage.
  269. >>>>”Now then, the rest of you. Let’s see if you enjoy human hospitality.”
  270. --------------------------------------------------------
  271. >”What do you mean captured?!”
  272. >>”As in taken, and currently held by the enemy.”
  273. >”How?! Rainbow Sprinkle six, are our best covert operators.”
  274. >>”I don’t know sir. We’ve lost all but one team’s sir, and all the reports indicate they can see through our best camouflage tactics.”
  275. >”IMPOSSIBLE! It is simply logic that if you cannot see the enemy! Then they cannot see you!”
  276. >>”Captain. Princess Celestia has also officially declared war.”
  277. >>>”Heavy party tanks are already preparing for attack. We’re keeping up the strike crafts.”
  278. >”And how much effect are they having?”
  279. >>>”Not much, no matter how many we down, they always come back. And they’re darned Marshmallow have downed many.”
  280. >”Here the production report says production isn’t nearly as high as it should be.”
  281. >>”Sir, with all due respect, our ponies are doing the best they can.”
  282. >”Then I hope you will allow me a tour of the factory?”
  283. >>”Yes sir.”
  284. >---
  285. >The factories are massive structures, hundreds of ponies walking into and out of them.
  286. >The Captain walks in through the rear workers door.”
  287. >>>>”Sir!”
  288. >Ponies salute him, and his escorts.
  289. >”Do not mind us, carry on.”
  290. >He walks around the place where raw materials are placed.
  291. >Massive quantities of dough cut being into shapes.
  292. >Frosting boxes marked with warnings, cherries filled in a special box.
  293. >>”500 pound cakes, Sir. Over there, 1000 pounds are made.”
  294. >The dough is placed into the furnaces, baked almost instantly and then pulled out by workers.
  295. >Passed along an assembly line, for workers to frost, add cherries and put into boxes.
  296. >Pies are made in a similar fashion.
  297. >>”The pies come in crusty or soft types, sir.”
  298. >At a massive table, extremely obese ponies sit around biting into watermelons.
  299. >”What exactly is their job?”
  300. >>”Watermelon seed production, sir.”
  301. >One of the morbidly obese ponies spits out a seed into a box.
  302. >”I see...”
  303. >A pony at the end of the table runs a small knife into the melon.
  304. >”Why is that pony using a sharp knife?!”
  305. >>”Sir, we needed to increase production and had to ignore some safety procedures.”
  306. >”This is extremely dangerous; we cannot have ponies cutting themselves. Give them blunt knives.”
  307. >>”But sir...”
  308. >”I will not have a pony injured on my watch.”
  309. >>”Ye-yes sir.”
  310. >”Good. Enough of the ordinance show me the weapons.”
  311. >>”Right this way sir.”
  312. >They group enters another section of the factory.
  313. >A massive machine pours out straws, another loads them with a watermelon seed.
  314. >A pony picks up the straw and shoots a seed into a target, putting the weapon in one of two piles.
  315. >>”Here is the cherry thrower manufacturing sir.”
  316. >A large device is assembled, large rubber bands, wooden wheels and limbs.
  317. >The devices are also tested by a pony. When a wheel is cranked, a wooden wheel pushes back at a rubber band placing a cherry in its path.
  318. >When the wheel is clear and let’s go of the band, a cherry is launched at impressive speeds at a target
  319. >>>”New production model sir, only have a failure rate of 42% sir, an improvement over the 67% rate of older model.”
  320. >”Impressive.”
  321. >>”These are the larger balloon pieces.”
  322. >Giant tubes inside which a large balloon is inflated, the tube is topped with a cake.
  323. >”Impressive. Very good. Show me our vehicles.”
  324. >The group enter another section of the factory, the aircraft production area.
  325. >”Explain this to me.”
  326. >>>”A large sheet of paper comes in from the factory; it’s laid out over those benches.”
  327. >A pony is signalling a crane to put down the paper.
  328. >>>”Then the marking sticks are placed, and the paper is folder.”
  329. >The paper has large sticks placed on it, and then a crane folds its edges. A pony drives a roller over it.
  330. >>>”Then the wings are folded out, and a motor and instrument panel and duck are added.”
  331. >The paper plane takes shape, and a motor with a big propeller and pedals are added.
  332. >Finally, a panel with a screaming duck and sharpie drawn buttons and knob, added.
  333. >”How much does one cost?”
  334. >>>”4 million bits sir.”
  335. >”Why so expensive? I remember the old flyers used to cost 1 million.”
  336. >>”Sir, these are new and improved in every way.”
  337. >>>”The motors been improved, we found power transfer works better if we actually add some way to connect peddles to the propeller. The improved cockpit duck is 24% less likely to attack the pilot, than the old geese.”
  338. >”Sounds like a gimmick to me. Show me the party tanks.”
  339. >>”Very well sir, this way.”
  340. >They enter another part of the factory.
  341. >>>”Here the RHC is manufactured.”
  342. >”RHC?”
  343. >>>”Rolled Homogeneous Cardboard, sir. Much harder than mild cardboard.”
  344. >A machine pumps out sheets of cardboard, laying them in a pile.
  345. >>>”Here the workers are just finishing a heavy party tank. 50mm thick RHC all around, 10mm roof. 200mm launcher, fires pies, poppers and cakes.”
  346. >”Impressive, how much does it cost?”
  347. >>”1.5 million bits sir.”
  348. >>>”The light party tanks are cheaper, but only have a 50mm launcher and only fire poppers. As well as only 10mm RHC all around.”
  349. >”Good, good.”
  350. >The group finally head back to the castle, the other take their leave and the captain approaches the princesses.
  351. >They all look at him approach.
  352. >>>>>”Well? What is your assessment soldier?”
  353. >”We’re ready for whatever they throw at us, princess.”
  354. --------------------------------------------------------

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