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BadGrammarFag - Forced Moon chapter 1

By rmp
Created: 2020-12-19 07:04:18
Expiry: Never

  1. Author: BadGrammarFag
  2. Pastebin URL: wzvw05kg.html
  3. Date: FEB 24TH, 2015
  4.  
  5. ------
  6.  
  7. FORCED MOON - CHAPTER 1
  8.  
  9. >Night of a "big middle finger for Moonbutt" in Equestria.
  10. >You are Anon.
  11. >You are currently running with the speed of Kenyan starship destroyer, faget-class.
  12. >Shame that in the end, this will do you no good.
  13. >The one chasing you was no other than princess Luna.
  14. >The younger one of the two, main rulers of this land of colorful autism.
  15. >On top of it all, she was doing that in a dream.
  16. >Your fucking dream!
  17. >It wasn't the first time either.
  18. >She was "visiting" your dreams for almost a month now.
  19. >At first ,she only wanted to talk with you.
  20. >You thought she was just curious about the only human in this world.
  21. >After all, the only chance she got to talk with you was over a year ago, when you appeared in Equestria.
  22. >Back then though, you only shouted about "fucking talking horses!" and how your last beer must have been poisoned or something.
  23. >Then, thanks to Twilight suggestion, you got transferred to Ponyville, to your own little house and stuff.
  24. >So yeah, you really thought Luna was just trying to found out more about you.
  25. >How naive you were.
  26. >After some time her visits had become more and more, lets call it "affectionate".
  27. >She could have learned how to speak properly, but her romantic manners were at the same level as the one of a bulldozer.
  28. >Repulsive.
  29. >Not that you were interested in becoming a horsefucker, no sir!
  30. >Well... maybe you felt something for Twilight, but you were unsure about your and especially her feelings towards each other.
  31. >Luna behavior didn't help at all in that matter.
  32. >You became sleep deprived and grumpy pretty quickly because of her.
  33. >Of course when being asked about it, you just came up with some innocent bullshit story, explaining another of your sleepless nights.
  34. >You were not sure if anyone or rather pony believed you.
  35. >Doesn't matter, now you have no time to think about it.
  36. >After all you were still running away, inside of your own head.
  37. >It all happend so quickly...
  38. >You were not really suprised when Luna suddenly ruined your "dream dinner" with Shreck, Bane and Penn Jillette.
  39. >You were just about to ask Bane, if geting shot by a crazy cat-lady like a massive faglord, was also a part of his plan.
  40. >When you pointed your finger at him, Luna simply dropped out from the sky.
  41. >You could have swore that you had a roof there just a second ago!
  42. >She gracefully landed her happy blue ass in the middle of the table, shouting "Huzzah!" or some shit.
  43. >Then she started saying something in your direction.
  44. >Truthfully you didn't listen to her at all.
  45. >At that moment you realised you were in a dream and that it was about to get ugly.
  46. >Again.
  47. >You started running as fast as your dream-legs was able to move.
  48. >Leaving them behind, you could hear that your "esteemed guests" wasn't exactly thrilled in Luna's sudden appearance.
  49. >"You're a big pony!"
  50. >"Into the trash it goes!"
  51. >"Check urself before u shreck urself!"
  52. >In spite of yourself, you sighed.
  53. >Die well, you proud fools.
  54. >There was a sudden flash of bright light.
  55. >Instead of running through the corridor of your Anon Playboy Mansion(TM) you found yourself in the forest.
  56. >The voices behind you was also gone.
  57. >You stopped bewildered.
  58. "The fuck is going on!?"
  59. >Luna must have changed your dream for her own twisted purposes.
  60. >This night sky is no simple coincidence.
  61. >Yeah, captain obvious can be her middle name from now on.
  62. >You hear a rustle coming from the nearby bushes.
  63. >Heeere's Luna!
  64. >She's looking at you, with a shit-eating grin, like nothing happend just a second ago.
  65. >"Hello dear Anonymous, fancy meeting you here."
  66. >Now that is some quality ice breaker line, before a dream-rape!
  67. >You're allergic to any form of unconscious harassment.
  68. >You didn't even replied to her before making a mad dash into the bushes.
  69. >She was right behind you in a heart beat.
  70. >"Wait, don't you wanna indulge in a little conversation with your princess?!"
  71. >Really?!
  72. >Still on the move, you glance over your shoulder.
  73. "Last time we conversed, you tried to bite my face off!"
  74. >She lowered her gaze.
  75. >I-Is that a blush on her cheeks?!
  76. >"Tha-that was just an um.. greeting kiss between friends, yeah that's all!"
  77. >Right, with a complimentary bonus in the form of a tongue in your throat.
  78. >You showed her the magic middle finger.
  79. "I don't buy that bullshit, not for a second!"
  80. >You're not really sure if she would understand the gesture...
  81. >"ENOUGH!"
  82. >Yeah, she mad now.
  83. >Suddenly, the ground beneath your feet started to move.
  84. >Backwards.
  85. >You felt like on a fucking threadmill.
  86. >Running away from Luna in a dream was a big no-no, so you knew she wouldn't let you increase the distance between you for long.
  87. >"You'll listen to me and you'll do it NOW!"
  88. >A little forceful tonight, eh?
  89. >Luckily you had a plan how to end this dream prematurely.
  90. >You stopped and turned in her direction, adding a second middle finger to your glorious display.
  91. "I don't think so Moonbutt!"
  92. >She had almost full control over any dream she visited.
  93. >Almost.
  94. >If you focused enough, you could create some things in your dream as well.
  95. >For example, a great chasm beneath you.
  96. >Dreams or rather nightmares about falling down, always managed to rouse you from sleep in a very unpleasant manner.
  97. >Luna threw herself after you, when you started your descend towards the rapidly approaching ground.
  98. >You even added some extra sharp spikes at the bottom, for a better impact on your already scared mind.
  99. >Damn, are you some kind of a massochist or something?!
  100. >You felt a hoof on your back.
  101. >Oh shit son, Luna was very determined to get you this time.
  102. >You could only guess, why she wasn't usig her magic on you.
  103. >Maybe she was using it to sustain this dream at all costs?
  104. >That would explain why you didn't woke up yet.
  105. >Spiked ground was getting closer and closer.
  106. >If she wants to catch you so badly, she needs to do it now!
  107. >If not, this is going to look like some crazy stage fatality in Mortal Kombat!
  108. >You don't wanna die in your dreams!
  109. >With a heart in your throat, you closed your eyes and started to scream.
  110. "Ffffuuuu..."
  111. >There was another flash of a bright light.
  112. >Flailing your hands, you jumped out of your bed, landing face first on the floor.
  113. "...uuuck!"
  114. >Houston, the Eagle has landed.
  115. >Painfully.
  116. >With a groan you stood up and looked out of the window in your room.
  117. >Except for a few rays of the rising sun, there was still pretty dark outside.
  118. >You balled your hands into fists.
  119. >You've got enough of this!
  120. >Even you had your limits, for a weird-ass crap happening in your life.
  121. >You decided that after breakfast and your "shit-shower-shave" ritual, you'll go straight to Twilight.
  122. >She'll have to do something with her fellow princess or you'll go insane.
  123. >You hate to do that to her, but taking Celestia out of the picture, she is the only one who can have actual impact on Luna.
  124. >Crap.
  125. >You have work today.
  126. "Hmm... don't care. My sanity is more important than my finances."
  127. >Yeah, talking to yourself really adds to your personal style.
  128. >Besides, you'll be at work as soon as Twilight promise you she'll take care of Luna invading your dreams.
  129.  
  130. >Walking through town, you have a newfound determination in your step.
  131. >Maybe, just maybe, at the end of this day you'll get a whole night of a good sleep.
  132. >You started to walk faster.
  133. >Twilight's "Castle of bad taste" was just around the corner.
  134. >You start to knock vigorously at its main door/gate/whatever.
  135. "Open up Spike, I need to talk to Twilight and don't you dare to tell me that princess is in another castle!"
  136. >Yep, sleep deprivation made you "fun" like that.
  137. >Surprisingly, the door was opened by Twilight herself.
  138. >"Oh, Hi Anon. Wha-"
  139. >You didn't let her finish and stormed inside.
  140. "Sorry Twilight, but I need your help with something or rather someone."
  141. >Her ears dropped a little.
  142. >"O-of course, but c-can it wait for a while?"
  143. >You arched your eyebrow.
  144. "Why?"
  145. >She smiled apologetically.
  146. >"You see, I'm waiting for a very important guests, they should be here any-"
  147. >She was interrupted by loud knocking on the door.
  148. >"-moment."
  149. >She sighted.
  150. >"Anon, this shouldn't take long, can you wait for me in the kitchen?"
  151. "Yeah, but why there of all places?"
  152. >Look at you, you're full of questions today Dr. Watson.
  153. >Twilight pointed one of her front hooves at you.
  154. >"Because you look like you need a big cup of coffee."
  155. >Oh... right, you must look like a zombie now.
  156. >You headed for the kitchen.
  157. "Good point my little princess, I'll wait for you there."
  158. >With a corner of your eye, you saw her actually blush a little.
  159. >Kek, you still got it you handsome bastard.
  160. >Rummaging through the shelves in the kitchen, you could hear a several voices coming from the vestibule.
  161. >After a few moments they moved further into the castle.
  162. >Twilight must be showing off her royal crib.
  163. >Personally, if someone asked, you would burn this abomination to the ground.
  164. >Fuck, you can't find any sugar or cream for your coffee in this place.
  165. >Only the toppest of plebs drink their coffee without any flavour enhancers!
  166. >Where is Spike when you need him the most?!
  167. >Maybe Twilight will know.
  168. >She never told you to not seek her out, if you would have some questions.
  169. >She just told you to wait here, to be able to quickly find you after she's done with her guests.
  170. >Golden sleepless logic is golden.
  171. >What could go wrong, right?
  172. >Time to find purple p0ne.
  173. >Walking around, you heard some noises coming out of this wierd room with chairs and big round table made out of stone.
  174. >Probably you'll find Twalot there.
  175. >You walked inside, like you owned the place.
  176. >Any conversation ceased, every pair of eyes focused on you.
  177. >You stopped dead in your tracks.
  178. >In front of you stood Twilight, Celestia, Luna and being the closest to you some grey and white female griffon.
  179. >She was also probably some kind of royalty or a high ranking figure, to be in that kind of company.
  180. >Luna actually smiled a little when she saw you.
  181. >No doubt you just made her day, with that little intrusion.
  182. >Ok, you got this.
  183. >Just play stupid.
  184. "Oh, hello princesses and um...?"
  185. >Celestia was the one, who answered you.
  186. >"Hello dear Anonymous. Please let me introduce to you Bella. She is an ambasador, from the Griffon Kingdom."
  187. >Now... now you felt like a fucking retard.
  188. >Apparently you just interupted an important negotiations.
  189. >You must get your pesant ass away from here ASAP.
  190. >You bowed down a little.
  191. "Nice to make your acquaintance Bella, I hope that I didn't ruined any important moment of your stay here, please excus-"
  192. >Fucking pigeon-cat was right beside you in a blink of an eye!
  193. >"My, my what a pleasant surprise!"
  194. >You straightened up, she was way too close for your own taste.
  195. >Standing on her back legs, she started caressing your left biceps, with her bird like claws.
  196. >"Such a nice and juicy company had appeared."
  197. >Wow, your everyday regime of drinking beer and fapping was finally paying off.
  198. >Your secret: sometimes you switch hands.
  199. >"For such a tasty treat, you're also quite well behaved."
  200. >What does she think you are?
  201. >Some tamed animal and castle entertainment?!
  202. >She firmly grabbed your upper arm and started drawing little circles on your chest, with the other taloned hand.
  203. >"I wouldn't mind taking a little bite, if you catch my drift."
  204. >Did.. did she just purred at the last part?
  205. >OK, this is getting weird at the speed of double autism.
  206. >You took a quick look at the princesses for a little help and maybe explanation of what is going on.
  207. >Twilight ears was flat on her head and she looked mighty conflicted at how to react.
  208. >Celestia was rather unamused.
  209. >She must have been quite used to griffon shenanigans.
  210. >Maybe, if this goes further than it should, she'll help you?
  211. >Luna... Luna was nowhere to be found.
  212. >Great, no help from her either.
  213. >It looks like you need to help yourself out of this on your own.
  214. >Before you decided on anything, you mistook a step backwards in your futile attempt to get away from Bella.
  215. >That made you wrestle your arm out from her grip, with a much greater force than planned.
  216. >Her claws scratched your skin, drawing a little blood.
  217. "Hey, watch those appendages of yours!"
  218. >She took a quick look at her freshly blooded claw.
  219. >"Right, forgive me, it was never my inte-"
  220. >An armored, dark blue hoof connected with her face.
  221. >Hard.
  222. >You knew that she have a beak, but you could swear you saw a tooth flying out of her mouth.
  223. >She fell on the floor with a loud groan.
  224. >Luna was standing over her now.
  225. >Princess of the Night was furious like there's no tomorrow.
  226. >"How DARE you! Get your filthy paws away from him!"
  227. >Well, that escalated quickly.
  228. >You saw that Twilight and Celestia were busy, collecting their jaws from the ground.
  229. >So, you assumed this wasn't an ordinary behavior for Moonbutt?
  230. >Luna turned to you.
  231. >WTF?
  232. >Her pupils looked like pinpricks!
  233. >She started to use her magic on your scratches, closing them in a blink of an eye.
  234. >"Don't worry, everything is going to be alright, she won't touch you again."
  235. >You looked at your upper arm.
  236. "Y-yeah, t-thanks Luna."
  237. >You could hear a distinctive growl, coming out from the floor.
  238. >Bella was coming to her senses.
  239. >She was massaging a place where Luna hoof struck her.
  240. >"What.. what is this treachery... y-you'll pay for that!"
  241. >Luna grabbed her with magic.
  242. >"Go fornicate with thyself!"
  243. >She threw her across the big table.
  244. >Bella collided with the wall, on the other side of the room and fell on the floor, like a sack of shit.
  245. >She was out cold.
  246. >Luna spread her wings like she was about to fly.
  247. >Suddenly she was enveloped by a yellowish magic glow.
  248. >You saw it was coming out of Celestia horn.
  249. >"That is enough sister, what's gotten into you!?"
  250. >Way to go your highness, acting so late.
  251. >Luna was trying to wriggle herself out of Celestia magic grasp.
  252. >"But you saw it yourself... that whoarse... Anonymous..!"
  253. >Celestia squinted her eyes angrily.
  254. >"We'll talk later, as of now you're forbidden to leave your chambers at the palace!"
  255. >Luna was having none of it.
  256. >"Wha-"
  257. >There was a bright flash of light and Moonbutt was gone.
  258. >Celestia must have teleported her to the Canterlot Palace or something.
  259. >The white Alicorn herself approached Bella, who was still uncontious.
  260. >"That was... unexpected."
  261. >She started to use her magic on the griffon and looked at you.
  262. >"I think you should leave now Anonymous."
  263. >That was no mere suggestion.
  264. >You looked at Twilight who was like a statue through out this whole ordeal.
  265. "S-Sorry Twi, but it looks like we'll have to talk later. I..hope?"
  266. >With unfocused eyes, she nod her head very slowly.
  267. >Well, better reaction than none.
  268. >Quietly, you walked out of the room.
  269. >Time to go to work.
  270. >You don't need coffee anymore, this shit right there woke you up better than any energy drink, you could've dreamed off.
  271.  
  272. >Apart from the fact you were shouted at for being late, work was rather uneventful.
  273. >The story of your life.
  274. >You worked at the "Quills and Sofas".
  275. >Your daily responsibilities consisted mostly of waiting for another p0ne, who was fed up with his old sofa and wanted a new one.
  276. >Then you would help him move the new one and dispose of the old one.
  277. >For a pony standards, you were quite strong and skillful in maneuvering heavy objects.
  278. >Also, your services were a lot cheaper than those of a unicorn trained enough to lift such heavy stuff.
  279. >That and "selling" your world knowledge to Twilight, was your main ways of earning some money here.
  280. >As always, you were siting in the backroom and reading some local newspaper.
  281. "Hmm... so the local bakery is suspected of using highly addictive drugs in their recipes... interesting... interesting..."
  282. >Man, you loved the gossip section.
  283. >You felt like you should be more bothered by this morning's events.
  284. >However, only in this month, you saw some serious shit in your dreams, so you have no fucks to give.
  285. >The door to the back room opened.
  286. >Your boss stood there, looking like he just saw a ghost.
  287. >"Th-ther's someone w-who wants to see you Anon."
  288. >There was princess Celestia standing behind him.
  289. >"Thank you, I'll take it from here."
  290. >Your boss bowed down and left the room, closing the door behind him.
  291. >You arched an eybrow at the princess who was looking at you now.
  292. >She was wearing a serious face, maybe you should bow down to her too.
  293. >Before you got a chance to even stand up, she spoke with a calm tone.
  294. >"Anonymous, are you aware, what exactly happend this morning with my sister, princess Luna?"
  295. >You slowly scratched your chin.
  296. "Well, she... she tried to protect one of her subjects and was a little too eager in doing that?"
  297. >Celestia loughed softly at your words.
  298. >"Eager you say? I may or may not had to erase the memory of a foreign diplomat after that, let's call it "intervention"."
  299. >She erased Bella's memory?!
  300. >Very.Serious.Business.jpg
  301. >Well, war could've been more serious.
  302. >Celestia was still waiting for your answer.
  303. >Ok, she wants the truth, she'll get it.
  304. "Listen princess, with all due respect, your sister is crazy, period. End of the story."
  305. >Unamused princess is unamused.
  306. >"No, she's not. What you saw back there was an act based on instinct."
  307. >Wut?
  308. "Instinct? What kind of instinct tells you to beat the crap out of someone!?"
  309. >You knew she was gonna try to defend her, but selling you some bullshit wasn't the way to do it.
  310. >"Before I answer that, let me ask you one thing. Did Luna visited your dreams lately?"
  311. "Um... yes, from about a month or something."
  312. >Celestia closed he eyes.
  313. >"So that's him dearest sister. That's the stallion you were talking about."
  314. "Hey, I'm still here you know."
  315. >She opened her eyes and smiled apologetically.
  316. >"Yes, forgive me. I guess it's time for some explanation."
  317. >You just folded your arms across your chest.
  318. >She took it as a sign to continue.
  319. >"How many stallions have you seen in a relationship with more than just a one mare?"
  320. >Great, more questions.
  321. "Well, quite a lot. Not really my thing if you ask me. Back in my world polygamy was rather unpopular."
  322. >She noded her head in understanding.
  323. >"It was probably because of the equal numbers between genders. In Equestria, especially at the very beginning, there was always a big gap between them. Stallions were pretty rare. Forming herds was the only solution for our kind to survive."
  324. >You blinked.
  325. "I understand, but what does this have to do with me or Luna?"
  326. >She held her hoof in the air.
  327. >"I'm getting there, please bear with me. You see, because of that necessity, ponies of all kinds developed some instincts related to it. Those instincts were particularly strong, when one found herself in the role of the lead mare."
  328. >She stopped, probably to check if you understand or have any questions.
  329. >You just noded your head.
  330. >"Like today, two main functions of the pony herd were to ensure stallions survivability and increase the chances of having a colt. Especialy the first function was the main responsibilyty of the lead mare. Do you see where I'm going with this, Anonymous?"
  331. >Holy crap, of course you can see the big picture now.
  332. >You gulped loudly.
  333. "Y-you want to say, that Luna attacking Bella today was some kind of a proof, that she is a part of "my herd". Also on top of that she is the lead mare?"
  334. >Her smile was all you needed, to see that you hit bullseye with what you said.
  335. "Forgive my strong words and sorry to disapoint you princess, but I'm not a horsefucker. Also, I never suggested anything related to forming a herd with her. We just talked in my dreams, then it was mostly me running away from her shenanigans. That's all."
  336. >Celestia put her hoof on your knee.
  337. >"It's very rare, but sometimes when a stallion of a legal age isn't a part of any herd, he can be chosen by a lonely mare to start one, with her as a lead mare. Of course to make it happen, a mare must occupy a higher position in society than the mentioned stallion, to ensure his well being."
  338. >You threw your hands in the air.
  339. "Wait, wait, wait! You want to tell me that I don't have any other choice than to actually "be" in a herd with Luna? Because last time I checked, there was no higher position in your society than the main ruler of the land!"
  340. >Celestia sighed heavily.
  341. >"Yes and no. Normally, if a stallion officially declines the mare's offer, he can go free. We're not the kind of a society that forces anypony to be with somepony, which they don't want to be with."
  342. >You know that there is a catch there somewhere and that you're about to hear it now.
  343. >"However this time we're talking about Luna. Tell me, are you familiar with the story about her past?"
  344. >You knew she opened a particularly big can of crazy and almost conquered this world.
  345. "Yes, I knew about her Nightmare Moon episode".
  346. >Celestia looked at you sadly.
  347. >"So you already know what I'm afraid of. You must also understand that being a lead mare, changes the mare. By instinct stallion becomes a very important part of her life. Only when she loses her intrest in him and his herd, which is very rare, there are no... incidents, when he intentionally want to stay away from her."
  348. >You arched an eyebrow.
  349. "What incidents?"
  350. >"It varies. I've seen examples of cold, sad acceptance, but also of borderline depression and anger."
  351. >Beautifull.
  352. >You were fucked.
  353. >All flavours of it.
  354. >"Anonymous, today Luna acted like she already believed she's your lead mare. Some stallions would literally do anything, to be in your position right now, but I know how you feel about all of this. I want to make an agreement with you."
  355. >You sat more comfortably in your chair and leaned in her direction.
  356. "I'm all ears your highness."
  357. >She cleared her throat.
  358. >"I want you to be near my sister for a whole month. You don't need to be especially affectionate towards her during that time, just be yourself. This will give her time to calm down her most "destructive" instincts. Of course you'll need to move to Canterlot. I'm sure Luna will find you a nice room in the palace. Bear in mind that you won't be a prisoner there, you can leave town whenever you want, just make sure to be back for the night."
  359. >Feck, a whole month.
  360. >Well, it could have been worse.
  361. >This could have been a whole year or even a couple of years.
  362. "Say princess, I really have no other choice than to agree on this?"
  363. >She lowered her head a little.
  364. >"Really? No, no you don't. There's too much at stake here."
  365. >You sighted loudly.
  366. "Alright, what's in it for me?"
  367. >"Well, after that time, if you'll still insist on being away from her, I'll help you. I'll do everything in my power, for her to lose any interest in you. You'll find me to be an valuable ally."
  368. >Sounds like a plan.
  369. >"Also, if you want I'll try to keep this whole relationship a secret during our agreement. After all, you don't want to be known as the 'idiot who dumped the princess' in the whole kingdom afterwards, don't you?"
  370. >Damn, she drives a hard bargain.
  371. "Before I say anything, did she told you what she sees in me? What makes her so confident I'm the right "stallion" for her?"
  372. >Celestia actually smiled at that question.
  373. >"Yes, but it isn't my place to tell you this."
  374. >Looks like it's time to make a decision.
  375. >Not like it has been made already for you, eh?
  376. >It's only a month, what could go wrong?
  377. >You got up from your chair, extending a hand in her direction.
  378. "Okay princess you've got yourself a deal."
  379. >She completed this wierd hand/hoof shake, with one of her front hooves.
  380. >"Good to know you have some common sense after all. I will send a chariot for you in the evening, please pack your things till then."
  381. >Damn, bitch be in a hurry.
  382. >"Now please excuse me, I need to speak with your employer, about you leaving early from your work today."
  383. >She opened the door, eager to leave, but stopped and looked at you one last time.
  384. >"One more thing Anonymous. My sister is very dear to me, if you ever hurt her, I'll personaly see you to be very... unhappy here. Do we understand each other?"
  385. >Dafuq?
  386. >"Y-yeah."
  387. >With a smile she closed the door behind her.
  388. >You found yourself on the chair again, looking at the ceiling.
  389. >You really belived this morning, that your problems with Moonbutt was at its end.
  390. >You poor, poor bastard.
  391.  
  392. End of chapter1

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