2447 13.69 KB 269
Helping Her Christmas Special by HeliAnon
By SlavePonyGeneralCreated: 2020-12-20 23:06:59
Expiry: Never
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[Copied from https://pastebin.com/3hBLqyNm]
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>”We called it Hearth’s Warming Eve back in Equestria.”
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“So it’s like Christmas then?”
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>”Kind of, but we celebrate it to remember how the different types of ponies came together, we exchange presents and tell the story of the first Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
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>You learned something new today.
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“Still say it sounds a lot like Christmas, but instead of ponies arguing we just have a fat guy that comes down a chimney.”
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>Sitting at the kitchen counter you chatted happily with Fluttershy.
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>She was all excited to tell you all about the pony traditions.
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>And Equestria.
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>Well as excited as this shy Pegasus would get.
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>Taking a big sip of coffee from the cup you were holding you relished the taste.
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>Slight bit of peppermint made it the poop.
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>Fluttershy was enjoying a nice cup of cocoa.
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>You added a bit of vanilla to hers.
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>She must have liked it since this was her third cup so far.
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>So why was Flutters here?
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>Your friend Katie buggered off for the holidays to see her family in some made up country called Kanuh-Da.
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>Katie and her imaginary places.
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>Silly lesbians.
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>Unfortunately her family didn’t like ponies.
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>So being the closest thing she had to a friend that didn’t partake in mutual muff diving she asked you to watch Flutterbiscuit for the time being.
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>You of course had no problem with it.
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>She was a big help with Scootaloo…
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>Wait a tick.
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>Something wrong here.
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>It’s quiet.
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>Too quiet.
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“Scoots?”
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>No Response.
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“Scootaloo?”
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>Still nothing.
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>Yup you were worried.
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>Not for her, you’ve seen her go through a wall without a scratch.
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>Your house however wasn’t that lucky.
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>Giving Flutters the look you got up and began the search for the destroyer of Anon’s stuff.
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>Walking into the living room you looked around.
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>The yellow Pegasus floating right along beside you.
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>”Maybe she went upstairs?”
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>Oh poor Flutteshy, you underestimate the wrecker of all things collectible.
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“No she’s here, she’s watching us I can tell.”
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>”Wa…watching us?”
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>And there’s the tell-tale sign of nervousness.
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>Heck the yellow Pegasus got frightened by a commercial for cereal earlier today.
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“Don’t worry the worst she can do is jump from around the corner and try scaring us.”
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>Where are you hiding.
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>Scootaloo was smart, she had practice.
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>Hiding from you when it came time for a bath or manecut.
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>Deep down you were proud of your little pone-ninja.
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>But she is young.
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>And nowhere near your level.
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>You had sneak maxed out in skyrim.
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>Your eyes scanned the room.
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>Not on the couch.
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>Not hiding in the bookshelf.
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>Ceiling fan? Nope.
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>Out of the corner of your eye you saw a branch on the tree move just barely.
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>Gotcha.
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>Walking towards the couch you looked at Flutter.
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“Well I guess she isn’t here, maybe we should check upstairs?”
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>With a mighty leap you jumped onto the tree.
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>SURPRISE MUTHAFUCKA!
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>With a mighty crash and a mass explosion of pine needles and ornaments you clutched the laughing filly.
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>”Let me go you butt! You Weirdo!”
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>You still held the laughing filly as she tried to escape your grasp.
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“Nice try, Scoots but I hid the presents. I should have known you’d try to go for them.”
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>Scoots stuck her tongue out at you.
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>Your response was to bring the little filly in for a hug.
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“Come on, this is your first Christmas. Tradition says we do it right so only one present tonight and the rest tomorrow.”
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>”Fine.”
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>Finally you released the orange girl.
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>Like a bullet she sped off.
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>This girl had way more energy than a case of redbull.
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>A giggle from above you brought you out of your musings.
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>”I guess we should get this cleaned up.”
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>Looking at the mess you were laying in you laughed.
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“Don’t worry about it. I’ll clean this up, if you don’t mind could you get started on the cookies for tonight?”
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>”Mmmhmm.”
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>A gentle flap of her wings and Fluttershy floated back into the kitchen.
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>Standing up from the wreckage you surveyed the scene.
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>Tree was down.
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>Some ornaments were scattered about.
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>Overall it was salvageable.
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>Rolling up your sleeves you started on getting everything back to normal.
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>Putting the tree back in its stand.
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>You should probably get the vacuum too.
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>Thee were pine needles everywhere.
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Several Hours later…
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>You adjusted your tie again.
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>Maybe you should put on a different shirt.
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>Was this suit okay.
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>Fucking hell were you nervous right now.
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>Just breathe Anon, there’s nothing to freak out about.
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>Just your parents coming by to spend some quality time with you and your friends.
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>Yup no pressure.
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>Right?
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>I mean sure, you were an adult currently living with two ponies.
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>That seemed like a perfectly normal thing.
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>And now you were really freaking out.
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>You felt Fluttershy’s hoof rub your back reassuringly.
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>”Anon, it’s okay. I’m sure your parents are going to be so happy to see how well you’re doing.”
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>Your laugh came out a bit maniacal.
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>Why couldn’t you just tell your parents you were going somewhere on vacation for the holidays.
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>”Anon?”
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“Whats up Scoots?”
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>”Can I please take this off, it itches.”
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>Looking down you double checked Scoots outfit.
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>She had a miniature elf outfit on, complete with hat.
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>And she was fidgeting around like a dog with duct tape on his paws.
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“It’s just for a little bit longer sweetie.”
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>With a huff she sat on her haunches.
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>Please whatever deity is up there, just let this not turn into another usual Christmas.
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>The last one was bad enough.
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>Uncle Larry’s mustache still hasn’t grown back.
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>The knocking on your door brought you out of your thoughts.
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>Well here goes nothing.
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>Or everything.
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>Slowly you gripped the door handle.
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>It’s only a couple of hours Anon, just a couple.
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>Not much can go wrong in so little time.
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>Right, right?
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>Catch up with mom and dad, have some milk and cookies, introduce Scoots and Flutters.
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>Fun times.
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>Family bonding and then you don’t have to see each other for twelve months.
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>Deep breath bud, you got this.
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>You opened the door.
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>Over its threshold stood two people.
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>One man, with gray hair and a stern face.
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>The other an older woman, who looked pensive about being there.
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>”Junior.”
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“Dad, Mom come in. How was your drive?”
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>”Fine, assholes still haven't learned how to drive in this day and age.”
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>Stepping aside you let your parents enter.
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>Just play it cool.
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>Your doing fine so far.
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>”So honey, how have you been?”
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“Good, works okay. How’s everything for you?”
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>”Well they banned me from Bingo because I knocked out that one cheater.”
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>Momanon cracked her knuckles with that statement.
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>Images of the butt whooping you got when you were a kid for being a small prick resurfaced in your mind.
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>Looking to your Mom you noticed that while she was talking to you her attention was solely on the two ponies who were waiting patiently behind you.
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>”Anon why do you have two ponies here.”
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>Scratching the back of your head you laughed nervously.
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>Why the fuck were you nervous?
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“Mom, Dad, this is Fluttershy and Scootaloo. Girls these are my Mom and Dad.”
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>Your mom raised an eyebrow before walking to them and kneeling down.
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>”Buying slaves, that’s not the way we raised you.”
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“They’re not slaves.”
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>Your mom hummed thoughtfully at your statement.
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>”Junior let’s have a word. Outside. Now.”
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>Fuck me running.
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>You know that tone.
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>You dunn goofed up now.
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“Girls show my mom to the living room, we’ll be back in a minute.”
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>Well your dad would.
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>You’d probably be laying knocked out on your porch.
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>One thing you knew about your pops is that he had a mean right hook.
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>He was a boxer while in the army.
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>As you followed him outside you closed the door.
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>No reason the girls had to hear the screams.
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“So what did you want to see me out here for.”
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>Whatever it was you were expecting, this wasn’t it.
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>Your dad was hugging you.
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>”Oh thank god!”
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>You were confused.
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>This was weird.
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>Your old man never hugged you.
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>Hell you’ve known the guy for a while.
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>He’s never hugged anyone.
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>Punched. Hit with a bottle over a game of cards. Yeah all that.
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>But not hugged.
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“Dad, why are you hugging me.”
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>”You have no idea how happy I am right now.”
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>Seriously what the fuck is going on?
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>”Everybody at the bar kept saying you’d come out a homo any day now. I still held out hope boy.”
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>Are you fucking kidding me.
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>”They had a pool going to see how big a sissy you’d be. Sure it’s not a woman, but hell it beats the alternative.”
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>Your dad thought that you and Fluttershy were…
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>Bad thoughts.
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“Dad, me and Fluttershy aren’t a thing.”
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>And the hug was over just like that. Your dad held you at arm’s reach.
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>”Junior. Explain.”
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“She’s a friends companion, Scootaloo is.. is.. I just take care of her.”
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>The look your dad was giving you didn’t let up.
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“And no I’m not gay.”
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>”Good, so let’s go check on the hens. See what kind of trouble they’re up to.”
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>And the old mans cheerful mood was back.
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>So much for a normal Christmas.
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>Once back inside you lead your dad to the living room.
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>There sitting happily on the couch was your mom.
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>With Scoots in her lap.
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>And Fluttershy laying alongside her.
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>Besides the weirdness earlier maybe this Christmas was still salvageable.
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>And she was telling stories again.
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>Embarrassing stories about you.
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>”So in the 2nd grade Anon, had way to much to drink on picture day and ended up wetting his pants.”
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>Maybe you could convince your dad to knock you out after all.
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>It was your dad however that announced your return though.
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>”Hey honey guess what? Anon’s not a fag after all!”
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>Smiling at the news your mom looked to you.
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>”Oh that’s wonderful news dear. Though I kind of figured with your girlfriend and daughter.”
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>”Gir…girlfriend?”
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>And Flutters is out for the count.
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>Damn it yellow horse.
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“Mom, knock it off.”
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>”What? you’re getting old Anon, and I want grandkids. Scootaloo here is one down, but your brother has three.”
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“Three hellspawn who make all that is good in the world scared.”
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>”So the way I see it is you and your girlfriend here better get to work. I don’t care if they’re ponies or whatever.”
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>Looking to your dad he gave you the patented ‘Anon family shrug of not knowing’.
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>”Just do what she says Junior.”
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>Leaning in closer he whispered the next part.
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>”And invest in a lot of alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol.”
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>Gee thanks dad.
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>”You want me to call you Grandma?”
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>Your mom kept softly petting the filly in her lap.
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>”Well of course dear, since I kinda am your Grandma after all.”
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>The filly in question tilted her head in confusion.
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>With a shrug she smiled again and grabbed another cookie from the table directly in front of the couch.
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>”Okay Grandma.”
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>Before she could stuff the cookie in her mouth however your mom gave an excited squeal and hugged the little pony.
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>For a second you thought Scoots was going to suffer the same fate as Flutters.
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>Nah.
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>She’ll be fine.
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>You and your dad sat on the two recliners opposite the couch.
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>”This is what your brother doesn’t understand junior. Family is important, if only that whore of a wife of his got her head on straight.”
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>And he’s off on one of his rants again.
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>Fluttershy was still out cold on the couch.
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>Now however wrapped up in a cozy little blanket courtesy of you.
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>”Damn Koreans.”
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>And your dad still going strong.
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>”Dear shut the fuck up about the Koreans.” Turning to you she continued. “It’s about that time, we should head on to see your brother.”
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>Scootaloo who was now on what looked like her twentieth cookie looked confused as she was lifted up.
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>Only to come face to face with your mom.
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>”Now sweetie, be good to your dad. He’s not the brightest, cleverest, or well he’s not a lot of things.”
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“Thanks mom.”
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>”Hush, but he’s will do his best for you. And if not just give your granny a call and she’ll set him straight.”
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>Why did that actually scare you.
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>Walking to you your mom handed Scoots over.
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>”Don’t worry grandma I’ll keep on an eye on the dummy.”
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>With that slowly your parents gathered their coats and belongings.
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>At the door not a word was said.
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>You hugged your mom and a firm handshake for your dad.
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>”You’re a family man now Junior, so no more fucking around you hear.”
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“Thanks, you both drive safe and merry Christmas.”
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>”Bye dear, bye Scootaloo.”
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>And with that they were gone.
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>Holy shit that went a hell of a lot better than you ever thought it would.
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>Sitting down in the spot your mom previously occupied on the couch you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
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>Normally your parents would give you shit about not having really done anything all year and not giving them any grandkids.
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>You though the three shits your brother had would’ve appeased them, but nope.
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>Looking over you saw Flutters had rolled around and the blanket no longer covered her.
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>Well things could be worse.
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>They accepted Scoots as a part of the family like it was nothing at all.
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>”I’m tired.”
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>Looking down, you smiled at your little filly.
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>She was wiping at her eyes with her hoof.
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>Probably tuckered out after the days events.
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>Hell you were worn out as well.
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>Fuck it, you’ll sleep down here tonight.
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>Reaching over you as gently as possible brought Flutters over.
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>Covering the three of you with the blanket you let the tension from the day leave your body.
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>Family man eh, didn’t sound too bad.
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“Merry Christmas Scoots, Flutters.”
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>Scootaloo nuzzled herself against your chest.
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>”Merry Christmas dad.”
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>If not for the fact that you were half asleep, you would have heard the whisper from the little filly.
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