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To Fly Away, by Rarifag21

By SlavePonyGeneral
Created: 2020-12-30 18:45:19
Expiry: Never
gildaocsafecomedy/spg/

  1. [Copied from https://pastebin.com/zmfZ0QKQ]
  2.  
  3. >Birds are chirping
  4. >Bees are buzzing
  5. >The T.V. is blurting out something you don't care about
  6. >Ahh
  7. >Life
  8. >Isn't it wonderful?
  9. >Now if you can just get a couple more minutes worth of sleep in...
  10. >"Rise and shine, Claire!"
  11. >And there go the fucking curtains
  12. >God damn it, Myles
  13. >His voice forces you to wake up
  14. >And, once you do, the sun burns your eyes faster than a match can burn gasoline
  15. >This causes you to recoil--you shut your eyes tight
  16. >And, you groan
  17. >Sitting up in your bed, you look at your lanky ass roommate with the best frown you can pull off
  18. >You can always pull off your best frowns in the morning
  19. >He just snickers at you
  20. >God, you fucking hate him sometimes
  21. >"Awh, c'mon, don't gimmie that look! We've gotta start off our morning right!"
  22. >You ignore him and proceed to roll back into your bed sheets
  23. >He groans as well
  24. >You do not care
  25. >You just want to sleep
  26. >And you don't need him waking you up at five-fucking-AM
  27. >Sure, the sun's out by five now
  28. >But you don't want to follow the sun's shitty schedule
  29. >But obviously he doesn't care about this
  30. >Why doesn't he care?
  31. >Because the next thing he does is fucking yank your bed sheets off of your bed
  32. >You shiver
  33. >Then you groan
  34. >Again
  35. >"Geeeet uuup, Claaaire~!"
  36. >He says that in his sing-songy voice
  37. >As if the bastard could sing in the first place
  38. >You only sit on the edge of your bed, glaring at him
  39. "There better be breakfast on the kitchen table, Myles."
  40. >"Oh, there is."
  41. >Thank god
  42. >You get up and do a quick stretch, putting a shoulder strap on your pink nightgown back where it belongs
  43. >On your shoulder
  44. >Because for some reason, that flimsy little shit likes to fall off all the time
  45. >Yawning, you start to shuffle out of yours and his bedroom, the gray carpet comforting your bare feet
  46. >It's making your feet warm, at least
  47. >"Breakfast for ants, anyway~."
  48. >What
  49. >You stop in your tracks, just outside the doorway
  50. "Excuse me?"
  51. >"You heard me."
  52. >You're really not in the mood for his shit today
  53. >or, at least, right now
  54. >The bastard sounds so smug, too
  55. >You just want to punch his stupid face in
  56. >Knock his blue eyes out of his sockets
  57. >Rip out that stupid blonde hair
  58. >Break his fucking nose off
  59. >You're a pacifist, however
  60. >So it's not like you'd ever do any of that, anyway
  61. >But the want is always great
  62. >As you turn around, he puts a hand on his hip
  63. >At least he looks a bit more sincere here
  64. >"Claire, calm down. It's just food."
  65. >Never mind that statement
  66. >Still fucking smug
  67. >You growl
  68. >He chuckles
  69. >"Listen, listen, I was just messing with you. Food'll be done in twenty minutes--thirty, tops! Alright?"
  70. >He's removed his hand from his hip by now
  71. >You sigh
  72. >He smiles
  73. >A sincere smile
  74. >Which makes you smile
  75. >Genuinely
  76. >He always seems to make you do that
  77. >"Go on, get dressed and put on something decent--I'll be downstairs if you need me."
  78. >You can't even care about that last comment
  79. >Myles walks over to you and gives you a small hug
  80. >Tiredly, you return the favor
  81. >With an arm
  82. >Fuck, you're way too tired to actually put in the effort to do TWO arms
  83. "Right."
  84. >He starts to walk away
  85. >And you yell after him
  86. "That shit better be done by the time I get down there, though!"
  87. >"Oh, with how long you take in the mirror, it'll be burnt by then!"
  88. >Fuck him
  89. >Rolling your eyes, you make a nice right towards the bathroom
  90. >Once again, you don't pick up your feet
  91. >The carpet feels nice against your bare soles, anyway
  92. >In a matter of time, you reach the bathroom, yawning once again
  93. >It's 5am, you're gonna do that a lot
  94. >You look at yourself in the mirror and sigh
  95. >Brown hair, green eyes
  96. >Glasses
  97. >Wait
  98. >No glasses
  99. >They're in your room
  100. >Currently, your long brunette hairstyle is a fucking mess
  101. >All dry and shit
  102. >Fuck
  103. >You're not gonna bother fixing it right
  104. >You'll just comb it through
  105. >Grabbing a comb, you start at your tornado-aftermath hair
  106. >And while viciously ripping out various shards of your hair because the comb never goes through your damn hair perfectly like in the commercials, you can't help but look at yourself
  107. >Face a fucking mess
  108. >Hair, you already mentioned
  109. >And--Oh god
  110. >Your tits
  111. >AA, 38
  112. >God, you hate them
  113. >You swear, they're smaller than an eight year old's
  114. >You don't even know how you ended up with tits this fucking small
  115. >You Mom had a decent sized rack
  116. >Her Mom had a decent sized rack--from the pictures you've seen, anyway
  117. >And so on and so forth
  118. >So why the fuck do you have the tits of a damned child compared to them?
  119. >You sigh, looking at the floor
  120. >Momentarily, you stop combing
  121. >You need something
  122. >A drink, maybe?
  123. >No, no
  124. >It's way too early, and you're not depressed enough yet
  125. >Maybe you need a friend
  126. >Well, no
  127. >You've got Myles
  128. >Although he's annoying at times, he's still a good friend, through the bad and the good
  129. >Lived with him for five years now, splitting the rent
  130. >A new friend, maybe...?
  131. >...
  132. >No, that's stupid
  133. >You don't need "new" friends
  134. >Friends who'll betray you
  135. >Tell everybody else in the neighborhood terrible, terrible secrets
  136. >Hit you
  137. >No, you don't need that shit
  138. >You've got Myles
  139. >You should be happy with him
  140. >...
  141. >But
  142. >Fuck
  143. >You feel like something's missing
  144. >You need something
  145. >Sex?
  146. >...
  147. >Ew, fuck no
  148. >Not with him, anyway
  149. >No
  150. >But you do need something
  151. >You've felt this way for the past couple of months, really
  152. >So this isn't just your hormones fucking with you again
  153. >Life is good
  154. >You make a good sum of money
  155. >He makes a good sum of money
  156. >He cooks
  157. >You clean
  158. >You two banter every other day
  159. >You don't have any debt, as far as you can tell
  160. >There's literally nothing wrong with your life
  161. >But
  162. >...
  163. >Dropping the subject
  164. >You're acting stupid again
  165. >You look at the mirror again and comb out the rest of your hair
  166. >Now it looks decent
  167. >You quickly clean any dirt that's on your face, and get out of the bathroom
  168. >And as soon as you exit, a smell enters your nose
  169. >A very delicious smell, in fact
  170. >It smells like fried ham
  171. >With extra grease
  172. >Must be bacon
  173. >You smirk
  174. >Another plus?
  175. >He knows what you like
  176. >That, you'll never get over
  177. >So, you start to make your way downstairs
  178. >Past the living room you go, and into the kitchen you enter
  179. >Bastard's wearing a chef's hat, along with a "kiss the cook" apron
  180. >Never will you ever
  181. >He smirks when he hears you enter, turning around briefly to face you
  182. >"Might I say "morning", Claire?"
  183. "You might, but then I'd hit you for being annoying."
  184. >He simply chuckles, turning right back around to continue with his job
  185. >You sit down in the chair at the table
  186. "How much longer 'till it's finished?"
  187. >"Ten more minutes, probably. Still gotta finish up the pancakes."
  188. >Pancakes?
  189. >You look at the pancake maker next to the stove
  190. >Ah
  191. >Pancakes
  192. >Apparently he's bein' real basic today
  193. >Pancakes and bacon
  194. >Wait
  195. >Just that?
  196. >No eggs?
  197. >You rest your head on your hand
  198. "Really? You're gonna make some pancakes an' bacon, but without the eggs? What kinda chef are you?"
  199. >"For your information, Claire, I decided to make them at the end. They take all of two minutes to make, anyway."
  200. >He kinda sounded offended there
  201. >Sweet
  202. >Although, looking at all this food is making you drool
  203. >Fuck
  204. >You start to look around, bored, trying to find something to take your mind off of the foo--is that a fucking flat screen
  205. >You raise a brow
  206. "Myles?"
  207. >"Uh-huh."
  208. "Since when was there a flat screen in the kitchen?"
  209. >"Oh, yeah! That."
  210. >That
  211. >As if it was always there
  212. >"I just got it yesterday. Thought it'd be nice."
  213. >What
  214. >No
  215. >How do you just get a flat screen?
  216. >How is he so nonchalant about this?
  217. >It's a fucking T.V. connected to the cable box in the damn kitchen
  218. >This is something not to be calm about
  219. "Where'd you even get the fuckin' money for this shit?"
  220. >"Overtime."
  221. >Oh
  222. >Overtime
  223. >Right
  224. >You forget that he works himself too much sometimes
  225. >A problem you don't actually care about
  226. >It doesn't seem to cause him any stress
  227. >And it's sure as hell not causing you any stress
  228. >Plus, it just got you a kitchen T.V.
  229. >You can't complain, really
  230. >So, you stand for a moment, only to locate the remote to said flat screen
  231. >It's on the cable box
  232. >Convenient
  233. >You stroll over to said box, picking up the 'mote once you get there
  234. >And on goes the T.V.
  235. >Then you sit back down with the remote, puffing out some air
  236. >Now, all you can do is wait this out
  237. >Wait out his cooking with television
  238. >Shouldn't be long
  239. >You hope
  240. >Besides, it'll be worth the wait
  241. >You know it will
  242. >His food always tastes good, regardless of what you might say to him
  243. >"Hey, you!"
  244. >Your full attention is brought to the T.V., once it calls out to you
  245. >Oh good, a commercial
  246. >Joy
  247. >Myles seemed to jerk his head towards it, before going back to his cooking
  248. >"Yeah, you!"
  249. >Honestly, you want to change the channel right now
  250. >Not because it's a commercial--you enjoy them sometimes
  251. >But because of how it started out
  252. >You mean, fuck
  253. >If you had a damn dollar for every time a commercial did that same intro...
  254. >"Do you like ponies?"
  255. >Ponies?
  256. >Excuse you?
  257. >A pony pops up on the screen
  258. >A very... colorful pony, to say the least
  259. >She has magenta eyes, with a rainbow mane and tail
  260. >Her coat is a... bright blue, almost?
  261. >Not a true blue
  262. >But not a sky blue, either
  263. >It's way too dark to be sky blue
  264. >"Do you like pets?"
  265. >What
  266. >Now it shows a very bright and bejeweled red collar on the screen
  267. >Right next to the pony
  268. >"Would you like to have a pony AS a pet?"
  269. >...
  270. >You're ashamed to admit it, but you actually kinda got excited when the stupid commercial asked you that question
  271. >You've always wanted a pet
  272. >And you've always wanted a pony
  273. >"If so, come on down to Pony Pets!"
  274. >How uncreative
  275. >You're still excited by the idea, however
  276. >"We sell ponies here by the dozen! We got unicorns, pegasi, alicorns!"
  277. >Alicorns?
  278. >The hell's that?
  279. >Actually, no
  280. >That's the wrong question to be asking here
  281. >The right question is...
  282. >Holy fucking shit how do I get one now?
  283. >"Or even if you wanted to, you could just get a normal earth pony! We have tons of these beautiful and majestic creatures!"
  284. >"Talk about a scam," Myles mutters
  285. "Shut up."
  286. >As soon as he said that, however, a shaky camera showed some guy and his pony
  287. >Hugging
  288. >It wasn't CGI or anything
  289. >That shit was real
  290. >You can tell
  291. >He took a glance at the image, coughing
  292. "Hey! Don't cough on the food!"
  293. >He ignores your comment, only looking at the T.V. with complete shock
  294. >"Well fuck my ass and call me Sally."
  295. >The commercial continued
  296. >"Sir, how do you like you new little pony?"
  297. >Some fake reporter was asking this question to the guy hugging his colorful equine
  298. >"I-I... I love her, sir! She's the best thing I could ever ask for!"
  299. >You wanna get in on this
  300. >You want a fucking pony
  301. >The commercial transitions to a picture of a store with the sign "Pony Pets" written on the front
  302. >"To get your pony pet now, drive over to fifty-two, M6 Equestrian Lane! That's fifty-two, M6 Equestrian Lane!"
  303. >You jump out of your seat to grab a pen and paper
  304. >"Wait," Myles turns off the stove, "You don't actually want one, do you?"
  305. >Has he even been watching you throughout that damn commercial?
  306. >Actually, no he hasn't
  307. >His eyes were mostly on the food
  308. "What do you think?"
  309. >He walks towards you, as you jog back to the table
  310. >Once at the table, you slam down the paper and jot down the address with your pen
  311. "Fifty-two, M6 Equestrian..."
  312. >"You don't even know if we have enough money for one!"
  313. >You look up at him once you've finished
  314. "They're pets, right?"
  315. >Confusion hits his face as he takes off his apron
  316. >"Yes... What does that have to do with anything?"
  317. "Pets are free, aren't they? You can just go there and ask for one, right?"
  318. >And not a moment later, he looks at you with a look of pure disgust at what you just said
  319. >Then, he pinches the bridge of his nose
  320. >"You're so fuckin' dumb, Claire..."
  321. >You genuinely thought that's how things worked
  322. >Apparently that's not it at all
  323. >Judging from his reaction, anyway
  324. >"Dogs are sold, just like anything else is, Claire. They aren't a special exception."
  325. >He sighs
  326. >"Because Claire--Know what? No, fuck you, you're not sidetracking me again with your endless questions. Like I said, we probably don't have enough money for one of these ponies."
  327. "Didn't you just say you work overtime?"
  328. >"What does that have to do with anything?"
  329. "Well," you smirk, "You must still have some pocket change left from buyin' that T.V., eh?"
  330. >He growls
  331. >He knows he does
  332. >Sighing, he nods
  333. >"Yeah, about three-hundred," but he won't allow you to retort back, as he quickly continues, "But I was planning on saving that for a vacation!"
  334. "Well, when we get our pony, we can vacation with it."
  335. >He sighs once more
  336. >You typically win these little battles you and him have sometimes
  337. >Only because you don't stop talking
  338. >And he quits too early
  339. >You swear if he just kept arguing...
  340. >"Fine. We'll head over there after breakfast, and see what we can do. If everything is out of my price range, though--"
  341. "Oh come on," you reason, "I'm pretty sure everything's gonna be like, fifty dollars. We'll have a litter of ponies by the time we come back!"
  342. >He groans
  343. >You chuckle
  344. >As he turns away, back to his cooking, he mutters something to himself
  345. >Something or the other about you being a child
  346. >Which, you take offense to
  347. "I'm older than you!"
  348. >"By a fucking day!"
  349.  
  350.  
  351. >And so you're driving
  352. >Driving to...
  353. >Get a pony
  354. >Jesus fucking Christ you never realized how absolutely stupid that sounded until now
  355. >But
  356. >…
  357. >You dunno
  358. >Something about going out and getting a pony feels...
  359. >Invigorating?
  360. >Is that the word for it?
  361. >You dunno
  362. >It's weird
  363. >You do feel really damn nice about it, though
  364. >You've never really had a pet before
  365. >That's what these ponies are gonna be like, right?
  366. >Just pets?
  367. >That's what the commercial said, anyway
  368. >Like dogs, or cats
  369. >But better
  370. >Because they're ponies
  371. >…
  372. >Or maybe worse
  373. >You mean
  374. >You've never had a pet before
  375. >But you know some basic things
  376. >Like taking them out for walks
  377. >Feeding them
  378. >Giving them love
  379. >Basic stuff
  380. >You've seen dogs
  381. >You've met dogs
  382. >They're friendly, fluffy, generally nice
  383. >So, the ponies should be the same, right?
  384. >Except a lot more colorful
  385. >Yeah, yeah
  386. >They should
  387. >There's no reason for them not to be
  388. >"Make a left turn on..."
  389. >Your GPS' robotic and feminine voice alerts you back to the real world, and out of your thoughts
  390. >Good, yes
  391. >You're driving, remember?
  392. >You... kinda forgot that
  393. >You've been driving for what must of been twenty-five minutes, by now
  394. >It's kinda easy to forget sometimes, when you're driving
  395. >"We should be close," your friend speaks up, "The commercial said it was on this street."
  396. >Yeah, Equestrian Lane
  397. >Or was it Equestria Lane?
  398. >The latter probably doesn't exist, so you should be fine
  399. >You turn, driving a bit slower now
  400. >And right on cue, the GPS speaks up again
  401. >"Your destination is on your right."
  402. >A quick look to your right, and low and behold, there it--…
  403. >What?
  404. >You stop the car abruptly
  405. >No, no
  406. >This can't be right
  407. >This is a warehouse
  408. >A broken down, creepy-ass warehouse
  409. >Not the pretty and beautiful pet store the commercial promised
  410. >Myles seems to be sharing your dismay as well
  411. >He looks at you with a curious eye
  412. >"...You sure you put in the right location?"
  413. >Looking at the GPS, it speaks again
  414. >"You have reached your destination."
  415. >You press it's screen for the destination
  416. >And up pops up "52M6 Equestrian Lane"
  417. >You take the note out of your pocket
  418. >The one you wrote the address on
  419. >And... fuck
  420. >On the note is "52M6 Equestrian Lane"
  421. >The addresses were the same
  422. >Unless you wrote down the wrong address
  423. >Timidly, you answered his question, staring at the apparatus
  424. "I... I think so."
  425. >Myles swipes it from your hands, glaring at it
  426. >Then, he sighs, putting it down
  427. >"It's right alright."
  428. >Fuck
  429. >He looks away
  430. >"Fuck."
  431. >At least you two share the same feelings
  432. >Sighing, he unlocks his door
  433. >"Well, we came all this way--"
  434. >No
  435. >Fuck him
  436. >You interrupt his monkey ass, giving him a glare
  437. "You can't be serious."
  438. >"Well, we've done stupider shit."
  439. >…
  440. >No you haven't!
  441. >The most you've done with him is go to fucking Hawaii
  442. >That's not the equivalent of falling head first into a scam
  443. >You want to go home
  444. >You don't want to be here!
  445. >This place looks terrible!
  446. >You feel stupid for even coming here!
  447. >Myles is already on the porch steps, waiting for you
  448. >He didn't even bother to wait for your comeback
  449. >"C'mon, Claire! Lets go get your stupid pony and go!"
  450. >...
  451. >You sigh
  452. >Reluctantly, you park your car in front of the warehouse, cutting off your car and making sure to take your keys with you
  453. >Not that you wouldn't have done that if it was a pet store
  454. >But...
  455. >You don't want to forget your keys here, of all places
  456. >You start towards the porch, and meet Myles there
  457. >"Took ya long enough," he teases
  458. >You only smirk
  459. >The two of you look at the weak and worn double doors in front of you
  460. >He starts to knock of one of them, a smirk on his face
  461. >"Lets see what free ponies we can get."
  462. "Oh hus--"
  463. >The door opens
  464. >There's nobody at the door
  465. >But it just opened
  466. >...
  467. >Bail
  468. >Bailbailbailbailba--
  469. >You tried to walk away, but he grabbed you before you could race back to the car
  470. >"Don't try it. You made me come with you all the way here, so we're gonna get what we came for, whether you like it or not."
  471. "But what if something happens?"
  472. >"Like what?"
  473. "Like... Like..."
  474. >Fuck
  475. >For once, you can't think of anything
  476. >...Anything not obvious, anyway
  477. >"Exactly. Come on."
  478. >He took that as a win
  479. >Fuck
  480. >You reluctantly follow him as he walks inside
  481. >Inside isn't much better than out
  482. >You and him right now are just walking through an unstable hallway
  483. >How can a hallway be unstable, one might ask?
  484. >Well, the fact that some purple carpet covers holes in the ground as if they were traps...
  485. >Yeah
  486. >Unstable
  487. >Soon, though, you and him reach a door
  488. >A pink door, actually
  489. >The shit contrasts with every other dull color in this place
  490. >Not that you mind
  491. >It's a nice change of pace
  492. >You decide that you'll open this door, since Myles opened the last
  493. >Is this a good idea?
  494. >Fuck no
  495. >Do you WANT to open the door?
  496. >Fuck no
  497. >Are you doing it just because Myles opened the last one?
  498. >Yes
  499. >Closing your eyes, you put your hand on the knob
  500. >Slowly turning it
  501. >Slowly
  502. >Eventually, you hear a click
  503. >You start to shudder at the thought of what could possibly be behind here
  504. >Slowly, you open the door
  505. >It creaks as you push it ope--
  506. >"Open the fucking door already!"
  507. >Apparently Myles is impatient, kicking the damn thing open
  508. >Any sense of suspense you were unintentionally making is now gone
  509. >Thanks, Myles
  510. >You sigh, as you look through the door--
  511. >Holy shit
  512. >The brightest fucking smile ever just came upon your face
  513. >You've literally never been happier than this moment right now
  514. >Behind that door, is none other than...
  515. "PONIES!"
  516. >You rush inside the door
  517. >And, surprisingly, this part of the warehouse is actually a lot cleaner than the other parts
  518. >And a lot more welcoming
  519. >There's a bunch of warm colors everywhere
  520. >There's a yellow sun in the sky
  521. >Green grass on the floor
  522. >A blue sky
  523. >Shit
  524. >It's almost as if you were outside!
  525. >But, you're not
  526. >This is all painted, of course
  527. >You can see the corners of the room
  528. >And speaking of the room
  529. >It's fucking huge
  530. >And there are tons of cages
  531. >All with cute little ponies inside of 'em!
  532. >And...
  533. >Some other animals you can't identify, too
  534. >But, those don't matter
  535. >You're here for PONIES!
  536. >And you think you've found the perfect one, already!
  537. >You dash over to a purple... Alicorn?
  538. >Maybe that's what it's called?
  539. >It has both wings, and a horn
  540. >So it's probably that
  541. >She--you think it's a she--is sleeping, at the moment
  542. >But fuck does she look cute
  543. >And amazing
  544. >"Hello!"
  545. >FUCK
  546. >You jump, turning around to face a vendor
  547. >He's wearing a green cap with "Pony Pet Paradise" written on the top
  548. >"Apologies for startling you! I was just making sure that you were handling every okay!"
  549. >Where did he come from?
  550. >You didn't see him before now
  551. >What the fuck is going on?
  552. "Uh," you start, looking at the floor, "Yeah, yeah, I'm handling things well."
  553. >"Would you like to buy that po--"
  554. >You were nodding the second he said "Would"
  555. >He chuckles, looking past you to look at the sleeping alicorn
  556. >"That's a perfect selection, ma'am. She's one of our best, never been used before."
  557. >...
  558. >Huh?
  559. >You look at him curiously
  560. >What the fuck does he mean by "never been used before"?
  561. "How much is she?"
  562. >You'll figure out what he meant by that later
  563. >Right now, you want to figure out if you can actually buy this cutie-pie--
  564. >"About three thousand, ma'am."
  565. "Ha! That's not bad at al--what the fuck did you just say?"
  566. >"Uh, three thousand, ma'am?"
  567. >...
  568. >What
  569. >WHAT
  570. >Hahahaha...
  571. >No
  572. >You must've heard that wrong
  573. "Say that again?"
  574. >He looks away, stuttering out the price one more time
  575. >"Th-Three thousand, ma'am."
  576. >You just stare at him
  577. >You just fucking stare at him
  578. >This mother fucker can't be serious
  579. >Who the living fuck would actually pay that much for some stupid pony?
  580. >Before you absolutely fucking lash out at this guy, Myles walks up to the two of you
  581. >He looks at you with a brow raised
  582. >"Claire? You okay?"
  583. "Three thousand."
  584. >"Wait, wha--"
  585. >You grab him by the collar of his shirt
  586. "THREE, FUCKING, THOUSAND."
  587. >"Uh, ma'am, please! W-We do have other, cheaper ponies to sell! This one just so happens to be one of the highest we have!"
  588. >You look at the vendor, letting go of Myles
  589. "Well then, why don't you show us, sir?"
  590. >"R-Right away!"
  591. >The vendor starts to walk off to the other side of the room
  592. >You and Myles follow
  593. >And as you're walking, Myles gives you a cue to let him handle everything
  594. >You sigh
  595. >It's probably best that you do that
  596. >He's a lot calmer than you are about 99% of the time
  597. >The vendor stops in front of a collection of sleeping unicorns, smiling
  598. >"Now, these fine ponies are some of our most refined! They're of the elegant class, a class you... two?"
  599. >Myles nods
  600. >The vendor seems more confident now
  601. >"A class you two absolutely MUST be apart of!"
  602. >"What's the price?"
  603. >Sheesh, Myles
  604. >How dry
  605. >"The price range goes from two thousand to one thousand, sir!"
  606. >Myles frowns
  607. >And you do too
  608. >The vendor gulps
  609. >"W-Well, we do also have a cheaper selection of ponies with us! Come."
  610. >He walks to another corner of the room, and of course, you and Myles follow
  611. >Now, he's motioning towards some sleeping pegasi
  612. >"Well, these fine ponies over here might be a little more brash than your average unicorn, but I can assure you they're most perfect for your needs! Most have only had one owner, or less before!"
  613. >Really?
  614. >You put a hand to your chin, smiling
  615. >These guys could be useful
  616. >"Price?"
  617. >Again, Myles, dry
  618. >Very, very dry
  619. >"They go from the nine hundred to five hundred price range, sir."
  620. >And that smile evaporates like water on a hot summer Sunday
  621. >"You don't have anything cheaper, dude?"
  622. >The vendor's eyes dart towards another part of the room
  623. >"Yes, sir. They're just right over here."
  624. >And again, you and Myles follow the vendor to another part of the store
  625. >Now, you're in front of a bunch of sleeping earth ponies
  626. >One in particular catches your attention
  627. >She's wearing a hat, and has apples tattoo'd on her ass
  628. >"These ponies are definitely a lot more wild than the others, but I can assure you that they're great!"
  629. >"Price?"
  630. >"They go from eight hundred to three hundred."
  631. >You light up
  632. >Three hundred is a perfect price range!
  633. >You dash over to the applepone
  634. >On the gate, it says her name
  635. >"Applejack"
  636. >How uncreative
  637. >Who named her?
  638. "How much does this one in particular cost?"
  639. >The vendor strolls over to you
  640. >"About five hundred fifty, ma'am!"
  641. >...
  642. >Oh
  643. >You sigh
  644. >Damn it
  645. >"Anything lower than that?"
  646. >Now, the vendor's starting to look nervous again
  647. >"Well... We DO, but," he pauses, looking at another section, "They're aren't exactly ponies."
  648. >Now, both you and Myles give him a curious glare
  649. >All the vendor does is walk over towards the section in question
  650. >And, over here, there are only five cages
  651. >There's one...
  652. >Bug
  653. >Pony
  654. >Thing
  655. >A... dragon, seems like?
  656. >Maybe it's a lizard, seeing as how it doesn't have wings
  657. >There's a zebra
  658. >And another bug-pony thing
  659. >All of these guys are sleeping
  660. >...
  661. >Except for one
  662. >There's this really weird cat...
  663. >Bird
  664. >Thing
  665. >Catbird
  666. >And this one isn't sleeping at all, unlike everyone else in this place
  667. >And, to top it off, this one has restraints
  668. >She has a muzzle on her beak
  669. >And there's bindings on her wings
  670. >Nobody else has this but her
  671. >"These particular creatures are... wild, to say the least. While I'm sure they can be trained, there's no guarantee that they'll listen to you."
  672. >"Price?"
  673. >"Two hundred and lower."
  674. >That's pretty good, actually
  675. >Although
  676. >It makes you scared to actually get any of these guys
  677. >What if you end up getting hurt by one of them?
  678. >Curious by the catbird, Myles walks over to her
  679. >"W-Wait, sir! I would recommend not purchasing... /her/."
  680. >He looks back at the vendor
  681. >"Well, why not?"
  682. >Shy eyed, the vendor responds
  683. >"W-Well, you see, sir, this one has had many, many owners before. And, honestly, nothing good has come out of it. She's hurt more than helped, and she's the purest definition of wild! Which is why she has her unpleasant restraints."
  684. >Out of the corner of your eye, you see her roll her eyes
  685. >Myles missed this, however
  686. >His back was facing her at the time
  687. >But, when the vendor was done speaking, he looked back at her
  688. >And... he inspected her
  689. >Thoroughly
  690. >...About as thorough as you can get when they're behind a cage and all
  691. >Then, he reads her name off of the gate door
  692. >"Gilda."
  693. >He smirks
  694. >Turning around to face the vendor once more, he pops a question
  695. >"She's "wild", so you say?"
  696. >Vendor nods
  697. >"Dangerous, even?"
  698. >The vendor nods
  699. >"Treacherous, perhaps?"
  700. >Again, he nods
  701. >"Hm."
  702. >He goes to dig in his pocket, taking out the three hundred bucks he brought
  703. >...
  704. >Oh fuck
  705. >"How much is she?"
  706. >"One hundred, sir."
  707. >Five twenties, he sorts in particular
  708. >But you're not having that shit
  709. "AHEM."
  710. >Myles turns to you, an eyebrow raised
  711. >"Is there a problem, Claire?"
  712. >You point to the door that you entered in
  713. "We need to talk."
  714. >He walks over to the door, and so do you
  715. >The vendor tries to follow, but you just glare at him
  716. >"R-Right, this is a private manner. I'll be over here--terribly sorry."
  717. >When you and him reach the door, you grab the collar of his shirt again
  718. "Are you fucking insane? Do you want to die?"
  719. >"Oh, whatever do you mean, Claire?"
  720. >He's acting smart again
  721. >God damn it
  722. "You know exactly what I mean, fuckass. You were about to buy that thing back there!"
  723. >"Don't call Gilda a "thing"."
  724. >Is he really addressing her by name?
  725. >Is he fucking serious?
  726. "I'll call that THING whatever the hell I want to, thank you very much! She could very well kill us!"
  727. >"So could every other "thing" in this place--"
  728. "DON'T CALL THEM "THING"S!"
  729. >He chuckles
  730. >"So you can call Gilda a "thing", but I can't call those stupid ponies--"
  731. "They're not stupid--"
  732. >"STUPID ponies, things?"
  733. >You growl
  734. "One, they can't hurt us, they're all trained to not do that. And two, those ponies are NOT things! They're cute and cuddly PONIES."
  735. >"Gilda is just as cute and cute as cuddly as those stupid things."
  736. >He's doing this on purpose
  737. >The fucking bastard
  738. >"All jokes aside, though," he continues, "Claire, when I look at Gilda, I see something with potential."
  739. >You raise a brow
  740. "Potential?"
  741. >"Uh-huh. I mean, shit, if we buy Gilda and train her, then she could become a protector, of sorts, for us."
  742. >...
  743. >Huh
  744. >Shit, you've never thought of it like that
  745. >"Plus, with those wings of her's, she could become a second car for us!"
  746. >Shit
  747. >The fucker's got a point there, too
  748. >You sigh
  749. >He's won, again
  750. >The little shit
  751. >"You seeing it my way, now?"
  752. "Yeah, yeah."
  753. >"Good. Then why don't you do the honors, then?"
  754. >Wait what
  755. >He holds out the five twenties he was going to give the vendor earlier
  756. >...
  757. >Why does he want you to buy her?
  758. >You're still reluctant to even have her, despite his points
  759. >You'd rather him buy her himself
  760. >Then you won't feel guilt when you ignore her
  761. >Because she's not your's, technically
  762. >She's his
  763. >But with this
  764. >It's making her your's
  765. >Technically
  766. >You give him a curious stare
  767. "Ain't you the one who wants her in the first place?"
  768. >"Aren't you the one who wanted one in the first place?"
  769. >Fuck
  770. >Him
  771. >You just swipe the money from him at this point
  772. >He chuckles as you two head back to the vendor
  773. >"Hello! How was your conversation?"
  774. >What the hell kind of question is that?"
  775. "Fine, I guess. Listen, we've made our choice."
  776. >"Have you? So, which pony shall you buy?"
  777. >You point at Gilda
  778. "That one, thank you very much."
  779. >His eyes widen
  780. >"You--... You can't be serious, ma'am. You're joking, yes?"
  781. "As much as a five year old child would on the day his mom dies."
  782. >That was dark
  783. >Even for you
  784. >But it gets the point across
  785. >"But... But ma'am--"
  786. "Save it, dude. Our minds are made up. Just take the money and give us the catbird."
  787. >You hold out the five twenties in front of him
  788. >And reluctantly, the vendor takes them from you
  789. >"If you really wish to take that one with you..."
  790. "We do. Trust me, dude."
  791. >You don't
  792. >But you'll say you do
  793. >Because it's not like you're gonna buy another pony any time soon
  794. >Once the vendor has taken your money, he goes to unlock the cage
  795. >Before he lets her out, though, he puts a collar on her
  796. >The collar is connected to a leash
  797. >A dog leash, must be
  798. >He walks with her back over to you and Myles
  799. >"I... I hope you enjoy her."
  800. >"Trust me, we will."
  801. >Myles takes the leash from him
  802. >And he guides the catbird back to the door you two were just at
  803. >During this, he decides to baby talk the thing
  804. >"Aren't you just the cutest 'lil thing? Aren't you, aren't you? Look at you, Gilda! You're so nice, and clean!"
  805. >He pets her head every so often, too
  806. >And you have to watch this
  807. >You follow them with your arms folded
  808. >Soon, the three of you--that already sounds weird--are already outside
  809. >Past the broken hallways and such
  810. >Myles continues to baby talk her throughout this
  811. >He doesn't stop
  812. >And it's killing you inside
  813. >When you reach the car, he puts her in the back
  814. >While you get in the front
  815. >Myles enters on the passenger's side, of course
  816. >Poor little shit can't drive
  817. >Hasn't got his permit yet
  818. >"Alright. Lets get home quick, Claire. I wanna spend some time with Gilda."
  819. "Just make sure to do it when I'm not looking, okay?"
  820. >You smirk
  821. >He frowns
  822. >"I'm not gonna fuck her, you shit! That's disgusting!"
  823. "Says the guy who's said that he would fuck a sheep."
  824. >He blushes, crossing his arms now
  825. >"I WAS DRUNK!"
  826. "Doesn't mean shit, dude. The words came out of your mouth, not anybody else's."
  827. >You take out your keys and put them in the ignition, starting the car--
  828. >"And to clarify, I was talking about an anthro sheep, not a four-legged one."
  829. >Pfffft
  830. >You burst out laughing
  831. "Information wasn't needed, but I'm using it again you now."
  832. >"Fucking an anthro sheep is better than fucking a normal one!"
  833. "Says the furry."
  834. >"I'm not a furry--"
  835. "Says the furry."
  836. >"Claire, you've known me for how long? Since when have I implied that I was a furry?"
  837. "Just now, actually. You furry."
  838. >He quits
  839. >Poor, poor Myles just growls at this point, causing you to have a nice chuckle
  840. >Maybe you don't win these all the time
  841. >But when you do win...
  842. >God does it feel nice
  843.  
  844.  
  845. >"Who's the cutest girl in the world? Who's the cutest, huh?"
  846. >Ugh
  847. >"Yooou are! Yoooou are!"
  848. >Holy shit make it stop
  849. >And then he gave the catbird a smooch on the cheek
  850. >UGH
  851. >This is borderline disgusting
  852. >The only thing that would actually make it worse is if she was licking him
  853. >Thank God she's not
  854. >You think you'd throw up
  855. >Currently, you're acting grouchy as hell on the living room couch
  856. >Why are you doing this?
  857. >Because you're TRYING to watch something
  858. >Something or the other about these Pony Pets
  859. >But noooo
  860. >They just HAVE to be in front of the T.V., huh?
  861. >Literally right in front of you
  862. >Fuck them
  863. >You can hear Gilda making all sorts of "cute" noises in response to the petting and hugging and all the bullshit she's doing
  864. >She's even playing with his fingers
  865. >As if she doesn't have some herself
  866. >Fuck
  867. >You hate this
  868. >You wish they would MOVE
  869. >But no
  870. >It's not happening
  871. "Could you two get a room already?"
  872. >Myles turns his head to you with a smirk
  873. >"What's up?"
  874. >Gilda and Myles both sit
  875. >Gilda's sitting like a dog, however
  876. >Although you don't know how else she would sit, seeing as how she's an animal, and all
  877. "You know exactly what's up--"
  878. >"Still mad over Gilda, huh?"
  879. >No!
  880. >You aren't mad over her
  881. >The stupid little shit
  882. >No
  883. >They're just in front of the T.V., is all
  884. >That's it
  885. >Nothing more
  886. >...
  887. >Funny, how it takes you a moment before you answer him back
  888. "No. I just wanna watch the news, is all."
  889. >"Pfft, yeah--okay. Since when have you last watched the news?"
  890. "Yesterday."
  891. >"Time and place."
  892. >Uh
  893. "Midnight...?"
  894. >"You knock out at ten."
  895. >Damn it
  896. >Suddenly, Gilda's stomach grumbles
  897. >Or...
  898. >Was that her mouth?
  899. >Er...
  900. >Beak
  901. >Thing
  902. >You saw it open a little
  903. >And she looked away
  904. >Of course, you weren't paying attention well
  905. >And he wasn't paying attention at all
  906. >So you could be wrong
  907. >Your friend looks towards the catbird, smiling
  908. >"You hungry, girl?"
  909. >She nods her head
  910. >With that, he gets up, stretching a bit
  911. >"Alright. Lemme go make you something, then."
  912. >As he starts to walk into the kitchen... he stops
  913. >Then he turns to you
  914. >"Uh... What do catbirds eat?"
  915. >Did she just cringe?
  916. "Fish, maybe? They are cats, after all."
  917. >"Part cat."
  918. "Whatever."
  919. >"And next, you'll be saying that she should eat worms, too."
  920. >You roll your eyes
  921. >He snickers
  922. >"Although, that isn't a bad idea. One of your smarter ideas today."
  923. "Making her eat worms?"
  924. >"No. Cooking her fish. There's no way I'd have her eats worms if she doesn't want to."
  925. >Maybe they could work as a snack
  926. >Although, out of the corner of your eye, you see Gilda dreading this idea
  927. >Apparently, she doesn't like worms
  928. >Note to self: buy her worms
  929. "Buying a pony wasn't a smart idea?"
  930. >You decide to get back on track of the conversation
  931. >A first, for you
  932. >"It wasn't. Buying a CATBIRD was a smart idea."
  933. >You just roll your eyes
  934. >"Anyway, you want some, too? It could be our lunch."
  935. "It's barely eight AM."
  936. >He looks surprised at your deadpan
  937. >Then, he looks at the clock on the cable box
  938. >"Holy shit you're right."
  939. >Seven forty, exactly
  940. >"I thought it was fuckin' noon."
  941. "Do you see a "noon" sun out there?"
  942. >"Do you see an eight AM sun out there?"
  943. >Shit, point taken
  944. >Of course, you won't actually admit that
  945. >But still
  946. >You simply turn away, grumbling nonsense under your breath
  947. >He sighs
  948. >"I'll put off making us lunch, then."
  949. >He turns to Gilda
  950. >"You want some breakfast, girl?"
  951. >She nods her head
  952. >"Heh. She's a smart little catbird."
  953. >And she cringes again
  954. >Sheesh, she really doesn't like being called that, huh?
  955. >It's what she is, so it's not like it's gonna stop anytime soon
  956. >As Myles walks into the kitchen, he calls out to you
  957. >"Watch Gilda while I cook, okay? Don't do anything to her you wouldn't do to me!"
  958. >Then...
  959. >No hitting
  960. >Okay, cool
  961. >You can do that
  962. >Not like you'd wanna hurt an animal, anyway
  963. >No matter how much you hate them
  964. >You're a pacifist, as mentioned before
  965. >So it's not like you'd hit them in the first place
  966. >When Myles is fully into the cooking process--getting the fish out of the fridge, getting the ingredients to make it good, ect., ect.--the catbird decides to flutter it's way to the couch
  967. >And then it plops it's butt right next to you
  968. >Oh great
  969. >Now you're gonna smell like birdass for the rest of the day
  970. >You sigh
  971. >Whatever
  972. >Not like you can't take a shower or anything
  973. >You can't help but notice the fact that if you didn't have legs, then you and the catbird would be the same height
  974. >How do you know this?
  975. >Well, when she sits on the couch, she can look at you eye to eye
  976. >That's like...
  977. >What
  978. >Four feet, four foot five, almost?
  979. >Impressive, for a catbird
  980. >Speaking of impressive feats
  981. >You reach for the remote sitting on the table in front of you, but Gilda--wait what
  982. >Gilda gets to it first
  983. >...
  984. >Oh okay then
  985. >She changes the channel from the stupid news to something more tolerable
  986. >South Park
  987. >...
  988. >She knows how to change the channel?
  989. >You look at her, curiously
  990. >Myles wasn't kidding--she really is smart
  991. >Hmm...
  992. >You look at Myles cooking
  993. >And you look back at the catbird
  994. >You wonder...
  995. >You get up, moving into the kitchen
  996. >Myles notices you, chuckling
  997. >"You tired of watching her already?"
  998. "No, no. Just wanna see somethin' for a moment."
  999. >You look in the cabinets
  1000. >Nothing, yet--wait
  1001. >Ha!
  1002. >There it is
  1003. >Cereal
  1004. >Cinnamon Toast Crunch, to be exact
  1005. >Everybody loves this shit
  1006. >The dumb bird should like it, too
  1007. >It'll be her treat before she eats
  1008. >As you grab the box, your friend decides to speak up
  1009. >He doesn't seem too happy about your actions
  1010. >"What the hell are you doing?"
  1011. >You look at Myles with a smile
  1012. "Feeding the birds, obviously."
  1013. >He frowns
  1014. >"Do you not see me making her food?"
  1015. "Yeah, I do. You better keep an eye on it before you burn it."
  1016. >He looks down at the stove
  1017. "Why are you frying fish?"
  1018. >"Because I'm cooking."
  1019. "Isn't she a cat, though? I thought cats don't eat fried shit."
  1020. >He just looks at the stove for a moment, before sighing
  1021. >"Fuck."
  1022. >You chuckle
  1023. >"Guess I forgot that I was cooking for a catbird and not a person."
  1024. >Can't blame 'em for that
  1025. >He usually cooks for humans
  1026. >Never pets
  1027. >You can hear him sigh right after that, though
  1028. >"You're gonna spoil her."
  1029. "So we're just gonna pretend like that never happened, right?"
  1030. >"Oh shut up. My point still stands."
  1031. >You start to walk away
  1032. "Like a couple treats ever spoiled anybody."
  1033. >"You've obviously never had children before."
  1034. >You chuckle
  1035. "Yeah, says Mr. Sterile."
  1036. >He speaks while he cooks
  1037. >"You know I could literally spit out three reasons why I know more than you on this subject."
  1038. >This should be fun
  1039. >You twirl around to face him, crossing your arms
  1040. "Spit out two, you'll hurt your brain less."
  1041. >"Least I have a brain."
  1042. "Was that a reason? I couldn't quite tell."
  1043. >He sighs
  1044. >Then, he puts up a finger
  1045. >"One, I've babysat for literally countless of Moms during my highschool days."
  1046. >Two fingers
  1047. >"Two, I've had little siblings--something you never had."
  1048. >Three fingers
  1049. >"And three--"
  1050. >This is getting tiring
  1051. >You asked him for two for a reason
  1052. "Okay, okay, I get your point--"
  1053. >"You know if you got my point, you'd leave the box on the table."
  1054. >Fuck
  1055. >What a Mom
  1056. "Fine, fine. Whatever."
  1057. >You open up the cereal box, taking a couple cereal-bits out before putting it on the table
  1058. >"Thank you."
  1059. "No problem."
  1060. >As you walk away once again, you can't help but snicker
  1061. >You should be a fucking spy with your stealth
  1062. >So
  1063. >You walk in front of Gilda
  1064. >In front of the T.V., to be exact
  1065. >She looks up at you with annoyed curiosity
  1066. >But then she notices the food in your right hand
  1067. >And her tail starts to wag
  1068. >But, you shake your finger at her
  1069. >And almost immediately her eyebrows furrowed
  1070. >What a cunt
  1071. >Making some space, you move the table closer to the T.V. and move to one end of the couch
  1072. >You direct Gilda to do the same
  1073. >"What are you doing?"
  1074. "Oh, nothing!"
  1075. >Thank God he's too busy cooking to care
  1076. "Now, catbird," that's at least three cringes now, "I'm gonna give you a series of orders that you should follow."
  1077. >You hold up a cereal-bit
  1078. "For each order you do correctly, you get a treat!"
  1079. >She smiles
  1080. "But, for each order you do incorrectly..."
  1081. >You walk over to her and pluck her beak
  1082. >She looks mildly annoyed at this
  1083. >Backing up a bit, you smile
  1084. "Alright, let's begin!"
  1085. >She nods
  1086. "First order--sit!"
  1087. >She sits on her butt
  1088. >You throw a cinnamon toast thing at her
  1089. >It hits her beak
  1090. >She frowns at this, her eyebrows furrowed
  1091. >Quite expressive, isn't she?
  1092. >Picking up the treat with her claw, she gives you this "really?" kind of face
  1093. >Then she tosses the treat to the side
  1094. >...
  1095. >Picky little bitch
  1096. >You'll ignore that, though
  1097. "Okay, next order--Lay down!"
  1098. >And she does so
  1099. >You toss another treat at her
  1100. >This time, it hits her face
  1101. >She growls
  1102. >You're not hitting her on purpose!
  1103. >Honest!
  1104. >She's supposed to catch them with her mouth
  1105. >Fuck
  1106. >You thought she was trained
  1107. >Although, you could probably take this as revenge for earlier
  1108. >Blocking your T.V. with all that love and affection
  1109. >She tosses that one away too
  1110. >Okay, last order
  1111. >You've only got the one left, anyway
  1112. "Okay, final order, Gilda! Speak!"
  1113. >...
  1114. >For some reason, you got her steaming with this one
  1115. >She looks like she's about to kill you
  1116. >Which... frightens you
  1117. >To a degree
  1118. >Yes, you feel like she might hurt you
  1119. >But...
  1120. >...
  1121. >Uh
  1122. >Yeah, there's no upside to this
  1123. >You'd rather fucking live for another day than get mauled by her
  1124. "You heard me. Speak!"
  1125. >Nevermind
  1126. >Obviously you don't want to live if you're pushing your fucking luck like this
  1127. >Everything is telling you to stop except for common sense
  1128. >Give her the damn shit
  1129. >That's it
  1130. >That's all there is to this
  1131. >But
  1132. "I'm not gonna say this again, Gilda--"
  1133. >"Give it to me."
  1134. >What
  1135. >"Now."
  1136. >What
  1137. >You freeze
  1138. >You don't know if it's out of fear or if it's because you're going fucking insane
  1139. >Because she just...
  1140. >No
  1141. >No she didn't
  1142. >That was...
  1143. >That was your mind
  1144. >It had to be
  1145. >And even if it wasn't
  1146. >You had to be hearing things again, yeah?
  1147. >Yeah?
  1148. >You mean
  1149. >It hasn't happened in like
  1150. >A year, ever since you got your hearing checked out
  1151. >But it could be happening again
  1152. >But even if it was Gilda that just spoke, she spoke in a very low tone
  1153. >Possibly to keep Myles from hearing
  1154. >Probably
  1155. >Although, she sounded pretty furious
  1156. >As if she was about to rip your arm off just to get that one little piece of cereal
  1157. >But you know she didn't talk
  1158. >Because animals can't talk
  1159. >That was your imagination
  1160. >You're going crazy
  1161. >Fuc--
  1162. >"Did I stutter?"
  1163. >Her expression didn't change
  1164. >She's going to kill you
  1165. >Hahaha
  1166. >Yeah she talked
  1167. >She talked
  1168. >Holy shit she talked
  1169. >Okay you need to tell Myles about this right the fuck now
  1170. >She put her claw out, and you placed the treat in it
  1171. >She smiled, walking over to the couch and sitting once more
  1172. >Now
  1173. >Ahem
  1174. "MYL--"
  1175. >And now there's a claw covering your mouth
  1176. >Holy fuck she's fast
  1177. >Myles answers you, but he's not turning around
  1178. >Oh, only if he was
  1179. >"Yeah, what's up, Claire?"
  1180. >"Oh, nothing, sweet cheeks. I'm fiiiiine."
  1181. >...
  1182. >Did--...
  1183. >Did she just try to impersonate you?
  1184. >Holy shit
  1185. >Her gravely ass alto trying to imitate your lackluster soprano was fucking terrible
  1186. >God you never want to hear it again
  1187. >"Sweet Cheeks? Sheesh, you haven't called me that in years!"
  1188. >What the fuck is he--oh
  1189. >Oh God
  1190. >No please, for the love of God
  1191. >Don't bring up repressed memories
  1192. >You repressed them for a reason
  1193. >Yeah you actually had a thing for him
  1194. >For like, a day
  1195. >Maybe a little over two months
  1196. >He would never stop teasing you about it once you got over it
  1197. >Fuck was that annoying
  1198. >And
  1199. >Gilda just brought that up again
  1200. >Unintentionally, of course
  1201. >But still
  1202. >It's pretty damn inexcusable
  1203. >You're starting to fucking hate this stupid bird
  1204. >"Oh, well," she's fucking doing it again, "I thought I'd, uh, call you it again! It's a really fitting name for you."
  1205. >"Oh, so you're finally seeing how great of an ass I have, 'eh?"
  1206. >You're dying inside
  1207. >God you hate this so fucking much
  1208. >This is worse than those two cuddling and hugging on the fucking floor
  1209. >Gilda--obviously--doesn't know how to respond
  1210. >She only floated there a bit before continuing
  1211. >"Uhm... Yes...?"
  1212. >"Wait, what?"
  1213. >Gilda is apparently very, very smart
  1214. >Mostly because she let go of you the instant he said that, dashing to the couch to sit down
  1215. >Must've realized she fucked up there
  1216. >Little shit
  1217. >Myles stops the stove for a bit, turning around and walking up to you
  1218. >"Er, Claire, are you okay? You're not hitting on me again, are you? You know you're bad at it."
  1219. >It hurts
  1220. >You're cringing on the inside
  1221. >If you were to do it on the outside, you're sure you would've definitely alerted him to something being up
  1222. >Not that Gilda didn't do that already
  1223. "I'm fine, Myles. Fine. Don't know why you stopped cooking the moment I said something a little unexpected."
  1224. >He raises a brow
  1225. >This is gonna be hard to talk through
  1226. >"A little? Are you kidding me, dude? While I thought the "sweet cheeks" comment was a little queer--"
  1227. "Why do you still use that word?"
  1228. >He continues, obviously ignoring your attempt to move to a different conversation
  1229. >Fuck
  1230. >"The whole "yes" to my ass looking nice thing..."
  1231. >He pauses for a moment
  1232. >"Were you just trying to get me to react like that? Or did you get drunk in five seconds?"
  1233. >You cross your arms, rolling your eyes
  1234. "You know I don't do that shit."
  1235. >"Wasn't to be taken literally. What the fuck's up, Claire?"
  1236. >He literally stopped cooking for this bullshit
  1237. >God damn it
  1238. >Your eyes dart to the bird for a second
  1239. "Will you believe me if I tell you?"
  1240. >"Depends on how bullshit it sounds."
  1241. >Oh good
  1242. >That means "no"
  1243. >Good, now you get to mentally prepare for his little "I don't believe you" speech
  1244. "Well," you start, "What if I told you that Gilda can talk?"
  1245. >He groans
  1246. >"And what if I told you that pigs could fly?"
  1247. >You knew it
  1248. >Fucking hell, this bastard
  1249. >You're the one groaning now, returning to the couch and sitting next to Gilda
  1250. >"Oh come on. Do you really expect me to believe that she can talk? Seriously?"
  1251. "I didn't believe it at first, either. But low and behold--"
  1252. >"Don't give me that shit. You act like this is the first time you've told me something this stupid."
  1253. >It's not
  1254. >Maybe a little bit over the years, you've fucked with him too hard
  1255. >Like that one time you had him convinced that 2012 was actually gonna happen
  1256. >The day after the supposed "2012", you weren't allowed to use anything he bought for a month
  1257. >Which was most things
  1258. >Shit, you had to buy your own food for the longest
  1259. >Not that you don't do that now
  1260. >But when you go grocery shopping, you and him usually split the bill--okay
  1261. >You're getting off track
  1262. >Although while you're off track you might as well mention that the stupid bird is snickering all the way through this
  1263. >Stupid little shit
  1264. "You act like I haven't been right about dumb shit before--"
  1265. >"You haven't."
  1266. >...
  1267. >He may or may not be right about that
  1268. >Fuck
  1269. >You lie to him too much
  1270. >"And besides, even if you were right, why the fuck would I believe you about something like this, regardless?"
  1271. >...
  1272. >And he has a point there, too
  1273. >Damn him
  1274. >Damn him to hell
  1275. "Well, that's just because I can prove it."
  1276. >He smirks, putting a hand on his hip
  1277. >"Really now? You can prove the impossible, huh?"
  1278. "It's not impossible, you just don't believe it."
  1279. >Now he's moved himself over to a wall, leaning on it
  1280. >"Alright then--prove it. Prove that she can talk. I wanna see this."
  1281. >Honestly...
  1282. >You do, too
  1283. >Because you're not entirely sure exactly HOW you can prove it
  1284. >Shit
  1285. >You only got her to talk in the first place because of an accident
  1286. >You didn't think she was ACTUALLY going to speak
  1287. >Although...
  1288. >Maybe trying that again wouldn't hurt?
  1289. >Your eyes survey the room, up until you see one of those cereal-bits Gilda threw off to the side
  1290. >Oh good, you'll need that
  1291. "Pick that up for me?"
  1292. >You point to it
  1293. >"Pick up what?"
  1294. "That cinnamon toast crunch thing on the floor. Pick that up for me?"
  1295. >He looks at the floor, and then he immediately frowns at you
  1296. >"I thought I told you NOT to give that to her--"
  1297. "Oh shut up and just give it to me. You'll thank me later."
  1298. >He sighs, picking it up and walking over to you
  1299. >He tosses it to you, and you barely catch it
  1300. >Now
  1301. >For the moment of truth
  1302. >You look at Gilda
  1303. >She looks at you
  1304. >Her brow is raised
  1305. >As if she doesn't already know what's going to happen
  1306. >You toss the treat in her face
  1307. >On purpose, this time
  1308. "Speak, girl!"
  1309. >Gilda recoils, holding onto her head
  1310. >The cereal-bit bounces back to you
  1311. >Myles does not appreciate this
  1312. >"What the fuck is this supposed to prove?"
  1313. "Shhh."
  1314. >You grab the bit again and toss it at her
  1315. >It hits her beak
  1316. >She growls
  1317. "I said speak!"
  1318. >"Claire, stop it. She obviously doesn--"
  1319. "SHHH."
  1320. >This isn't going to go well, is it?
  1321. >Grabbing the treat once more, you toss it at her
  1322. "Spea--"
  1323. >"LISTEN YOU FUCKING WHORE--"
  1324. >...
  1325. >Silence surrounded the room
  1326. >Gilda clamped her claws on her beak, shock written all over her face
  1327. >And, honestly, you and Myles shared the same shock
  1328. >For different reasons, of course
  1329. >But shock none the less
  1330. >After the initial shock passes, Gilda puts her claws on the couch, sighing
  1331. >"Damn it."
  1332. >She whispered to herself, looking at the floor
  1333. >After another moment, Myles is--surprisingly--the first to speak
  1334. >Directly to Gilda, in fact
  1335. >"...I should fucking scold you for that."
  1336. >...
  1337. >Wait what
  1338. >You look at Myles with an extreme disbelief
  1339. "Did you really just fucking say that?"
  1340. >He looks back at you, crossing his arms
  1341. >"So what if I did? What's wrong with that?"
  1342. "THERE IS A TALKING FUCKING CATBIRD IN OUR PREMISES--"
  1343. >She fucking growled, her claws digging into the couch before her voice boomed again
  1344. >"WOULD YOU TWO STOP CALLING ME THAT?!"
  1345. >And now, your attention--along with Myles'--is brought directly to Gilda
  1346. >You only raise a brow
  1347. "Huh?"
  1348. >"Ugh. You two keep calling me... /that/."
  1349. >"Calling you what?"
  1350. >You were just as confused as he was
  1351. >She looks away, still obviously angry
  1352. >"/Catbird/," she pauses to sigh, "I fucking hate that stupid little nickname you humans made for me."
  1353. >Huh
  1354. >No wonder why she was cringing every time either of you said it
  1355. >"I am NOT a catbird. I'm a /griffon/. Get it?"
  1356. >You look to Myles with the same confused expression
  1357. >And he shares it, completely
  1358. >...
  1359. >It's another moment or two before anyone speaks
  1360. >And, again, Myles decides to be the speaker
  1361. >"Excuse me for a moment, I have to use the restroom."
  1362. >He then turns towards the kitchen, walking away--wait
  1363. >The kitchen?
  1364. >But...
  1365. "The bathroom's upstairs!"
  1366. >"I know!"
  1367. >Wait
  1368. >...
  1369. >Oh
  1370. >Oooh
  1371. >You get it now
  1372. >And out the backdoor he goes
  1373. >"Does he always pee outside?"
  1374. "He's not going out there to pee--"
  1375. >And now
  1376. >Screaming
  1377. >Screaming coming from him, presumably
  1378. >It IS coming from the backyard, after all
  1379. >You kind of wish you felt bad for him
  1380. >Kind of
  1381. >The bastard deserves to share your reaction to a talking fucking bird
  1382. >That shit just doesn't happen everyday
  1383.  
  1384.  
  1385. >You sigh, along with Gilda
  1386. >The sizzling on the pan in the kitchen hasn't been heard in the last thirty minutes
  1387. >What the fuck is he doing?
  1388. >He came back in like, an hour ago
  1389. >And instantly, he started on her fish again
  1390. >But now, it's just silence
  1391. >Except for one thing
  1392. >The living room T.V.
  1393. >Looking away from the T.V. for a moment, you take a glance over to the kitchen, noticing Myles sitting at the table with a hand to his head
  1394. >…
  1395. >He looks stressed
  1396. >Which is weird
  1397. >This is probably one of the first times you've ever seen him stressed
  1398. >You're not kidding
  1399. >This is the guy who wakes up every morning at four thirty with a fucking smile on his face
  1400. >You thought it was impossible for him to get stressed with how insanely happy he is
  1401. >Maybe you should go over there—wait
  1402. >He's getting up
  1403. >Well, there goes that plan
  1404. >As Myles sighs, he grabs a plate off the kitchen counter
  1405. >This is where you take your eyes off him, redirecting your attention back to the T.V.
  1406. >Which reminds you again of Gilda
  1407. >Who's had the damn thing blaring for the past hour now
  1408. >Honestly, you would've striked up a conversation with her, just so you didn't have to watch her shitty shows
  1409. >But no
  1410. >Fuck that
  1411. >For one, it'd just be weird as all hell
  1412. >Animals aren't supposed to talk, last you've checked
  1413. >Same goes for catbirds--er
  1414. >Griffons
  1415. >And two, you HATE her
  1416. >You wouldn't want to talk to her anyway
  1417. >You mean, she only just reminded you of a period in your life that you had just forgotten, finally
  1418. >And now it's in your head again
  1419. >Forever
  1420. >...
  1421. >Have you even mentioned that you fucking hate her?
  1422. >Suddenly, a "ding" is heard from the kitchen
  1423. >You take another glance towards it, where you see Myles carrying a plate of fried fish
  1424. >…
  1425. >Did he just microwave that?
  1426. >He starts to walk over here, a feigned smile on his face
  1427. >Actually, you don't really know if it's fake or not
  1428. >You just assume it is because of the whole "stressed out" thing he had going on earlier
  1429. >As he walks over to his pet—can you even call her that now?--he raises a brow at her
  1430. >"You like your fish fried?"
  1431. >Okay, hold up
  1432. >Why the FUCK is he so nonchalant?
  1433. >You mean
  1434. >Yeah, sure, he did scream for... a good two minutes
  1435. >That was funny
  1436. >But
  1437. >Shit
  1438. >He talks as if he knew Gilda was always a talking cat--griffon
  1439. >Actually, no
  1440. >Fuck it
  1441. >She's a catbird
  1442. >Fuck her
  1443. >Anyway, this isn't the first time--surprisingly--that he had this reaction to her
  1444. >When she first fucking spoke, he was like this
  1445. >What the fuck!
  1446. >Ugh
  1447. >Dropping this train of thought, you look to catbird
  1448. >Who looked at the dish before her with a rather large smile
  1449. >"Holy shit, do I!"
  1450. >And she swipes the plate from him, quickly digging in
  1451. >Pig
  1452. >Catpig
  1453. >You think this actually got him to smile a little bit more genuinely than before, though
  1454. >Which, in turn, makes you smile
  1455. >At least a little bit
  1456. >…
  1457. >Well, that is until Gilda speaks up again, anyway
  1458. >"Thanksh, mashter!"
  1459. >Why is she talking with her mouth fu--wait
  1460. >Hold the fuck up
  1461. >...
  1462. >Master?
  1463. >Even Myles seems confused by this little nickname
  1464. >Catbird must be into some serious BDSM or something
  1465. >"Master?"
  1466. >He questions her, moving to sit on the armrest next to her
  1467. >As she swallowed, a look of shock grew on her face
  1468. >Pretty much an "I just fucked up" look
  1469. >"Huh?"
  1470. >She looks at Myles with curiosity
  1471. >Although, you're ninety-nine percent sure it's completely feigned
  1472. >She knows what she said
  1473. >Everybody heard it
  1474. >"You just called me Master."
  1475. >Or she could've called you Master
  1476. >...
  1477. >Actually, no, that's stupid
  1478. >She was talking to Myles, not you
  1479. >"What? N-No I didn't."
  1480. >Lying through her fucking beak
  1481. >"Yeah, you kinda did--"
  1482. >"Dude, you sure your stupid girlfriend didn't say that?"
  1483. >Okay so now your eye is twitching
  1484. >God you hate this bird
  1485. >Sighing, Myles takes a seat on the armrest next to her
  1486. >"One, she's not my girlfriend," you can't help but smile at that, "And two, I'm pretty sure you said that."
  1487. >Sighing, you cross your legs, resting your head on your hand
  1488. >Now that that little problem is explained--
  1489. >"You sure she's not your girlfriend? She's gotta be your wife then, right?"
  1490. >You swear to all that's mighty...
  1491. >He sighs once more, speaking a lot more sternly than before
  1492. >"Me and Claire are not in a relationship, Gilda. If anything, we're friends--that's it."
  1493. >You cough
  1494. >He looks over to you, smirking
  1495. >"BEST friends. Nothing more, nothing less."
  1496. >There we go
  1497. >That's better
  1498. >"We're getting off track here," and his attention is right back to Gilda, "You called me Master--"
  1499. >"You must be hearing things, then, Ma--dude," she picks up whatever else is left on her plate and eats it
  1500. >Wait
  1501. >My dude?
  1502. >"My ears aren't fucked like Claire's--I /know/ what I heard."
  1503. "Low blow."
  1504. >"You're welcome, by the way."
  1505. >You sigh
  1506. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."
  1507. >You remember back when Myles took you to get your hearing fixed
  1508. >It had to be like, a year ago, almost
  1509. >It was so nice of him--fucker was so humble about it, too
  1510. >You don't remember his exact words, but he said something along the lines of "I'm not gonna let you suffer like this. Shit, we got the money--there's no reason to not do it!"
  1511. >Also, there was something else to it, too
  1512. >Something along the lines of him getting annoyed by your reactions to the sounds
  1513. >By his tone at the time, though, you could tell this reasoning was merely secondary
  1514. >It had to be
  1515. >And shit, while you never formally thanked him for it, you're sure as hell thankful for it
  1516. >If he had never did that, you'd still be hearing these weird ass sounds every now and again
  1517. >...
  1518. >You're smiling again
  1519. >Genuinely
  1520. >Not that you don't smile genuinely most times
  1521. >It's just that kind of Myles-smile
  1522. >If that makes any sense
  1523. >You hear a loud gulp and a long sigh
  1524. >Must be from Gilda
  1525. >Who really wants want to keep to her little lie, doesn't she?
  1526. >"Maybe they're getting fucked, then. It happens to the best of us."
  1527. >You roll your eyes
  1528. >Myles was going to respond to this
  1529. >He was probably going to prove her wrong, like he does with you sometimes
  1530. >But then he realizes something, something you just realized, too
  1531. >She's not wrong
  1532. >While, sure, she's not right either
  1533. >There's not exactly a third party here to break this
  1534. >...
  1535. >Well, reliably break this, anyway
  1536. >You're not a reliable third party, sadly
  1537. >You wish you were
  1538. >But, sometimes, life doesn't go the way you want it to
  1539. >Thankfully, Myles knows this fact
  1540. >So, he doesn't bother bringing you up for the tiebreaker
  1541. >Sighing, he pinches the bridge of his nose
  1542. >"Ugh. Fine. I'll drop it."
  1543. >And with that, he concedes
  1544. >He's used to doing that, though
  1545. >So doing it once more shouldn't be a problem
  1546. >"Thanks, Ma--dude."
  1547. >My dude
  1548. >That's the second time she's said that
  1549. >Obviously, she wants to say "Master"
  1550. >But as far as you and him are concerned, she's just saying "my dude"
  1551. >Saying it really awkwardly, at that
  1552. >...
  1553. >Oh who the fuck are you kidding?
  1554. >She's just interrupting herself so she doesn't say "Master" again
  1555. >Smart of her, but it's gonna bite her in the ass later on
  1556. >You already know it is
  1557. >Shit like that never goes well
  1558. >But, you two will ignore it
  1559. >For now, anyway
  1560. >It'll pop up again later
  1561. >She's almost repeated her mistake twice now, there's no way it won't
  1562. >"I'll just ask you some questions, then."
  1563. >She just raises a brow at him
  1564. >"What kind of questions?"
  1565. >"Lots of 'em, really. Questions that range from who your last owner was, to what your favorite food is."
  1566. >For a second there, you could swear that she seemed nervous
  1567. >But, it was short lived, because after that, she put a claw to her chin
  1568. >Then, she smirks
  1569. >"Alright. I'm perfectly fine with that."
  1570. >"Perfect! First ques--"
  1571. >"As long as I get something to eat, first."
  1572. >Excuse you?
  1573. >Did you just hear those words out of her mouth--er
  1574. >Beak?
  1575. >Looks like she's gonna need a quick throw down on the food rules that go around in here
  1576. "Ha, yeah, no."
  1577. >Swiftly, she turns her head to face you
  1578. >"Excuse me?"
  1579. >You smirk
  1580. "Nice try, Catbird, but that's not gonna roll here. You're not gonna eat again, not right after you literally just had your breakfast."
  1581. >She crosses her arms
  1582. >Chuckling, you continue
  1583. "Shit, you'll be lucky to get a snack in between breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And, if I remember correctly, you just HAD a snack. You'll be better off waiting those three hours until noon, Catbird."
  1584. >She's growling now
  1585. >And all you can do is smirk
  1586. >You've successfully laid down the rules, without the help of Myles
  1587. >Well, A rule, anyway
  1588. >And he was right there, the whole time, too!
  1589. >You bet he's looking at you with pride
  1590. >In fact, you take a look at Myles
  1591. >Just to make sure he's got that pride written all over his face
  1592. >The pride a Dad would have after his son just made the winning score in a football game or something
  1593. >You look to his face to search for the pride
  1594. >The pride you know he has
  1595. >...
  1596. >Weird
  1597. >You can't exactly find pride there
  1598. >His face is mostly painted with uneasiness
  1599. >That, and a bit of concern
  1600. >…
  1601. >Oh no
  1602. >"Well, I wouldn't exactly say that, Claire..."
  1603. >His face goes back to a neutral, "let me explain" face
  1604. >And at this, your little smirk fades away
  1605. >A frown replaces it
  1606. >This is gonna be "good"
  1607. >"I mean, you're right and all, Claire, don't get me wrong. It's just that... I don't think her snack was really a "snack", in the traditional sense."
  1608. "What do you mean?"
  1609. >"I mean--well, you fed her, right?"
  1610. >You nod
  1611. >His eyes dart quickly towards the last cinnamon toast crunch piece on the floor
  1612. >Then back to you
  1613. >Suddenly, realization hits your face
  1614. >This son of a...
  1615. >You cross your arms
  1616. >"You get what I'm getting at, right?"
  1617. "Fuck you."
  1618. >"Yeah, you do."
  1619. >Bastard's implying that you didn't feed her properly
  1620. >Which, in hindsight, you didn't
  1621. >But the thought from him still offends you
  1622. >He gets off the armrest, starting to walk towards the kitchen
  1623. >"It'll just be something small. A plate of chips, or something."
  1624. >"I like barbecue!"
  1625. >"Perfect."
  1626. >Perfect because that's all there is left in the house
  1627. >As he walks away, he goes over to where the little bit is and tosses it in the trash
  1628. >You stop paying attention to him after that
  1629. >Because now, you're glaring at Gilda
  1630. >And she can't help but smirk at you
  1631. >"What was that about "waiting three hours", again? Didn't quite catch it the first time."
  1632. >Keep calm, Claire
  1633. >Keep calm
  1634. >You're not allowed to hurt her, remember?
  1635. >You said it yourself
  1636. >You can't go back on your word now
  1637. >With a sigh, you just look back at Myles, who already has the plate of chips in his hand
  1638. >That was quick
  1639. "I fucking hate you, Gilda."
  1640. >"The resentment is mutual."
  1641. >"You two said somethin'?"
  1642. >Apparently, Myles had already walked into hearing distance
  1643. >You shake your head, and Gilda doesn't say a thing
  1644. >He shrugs it off, walking past Gilda and sitting on the armrest next to her again
  1645. >Gilda swipes the plate of chips from him, digging in
  1646. >Again
  1647. >Catpig
  1648. >Crossing his legs, Myles rests his hands on his knee
  1649. >You'd question this if you didn't already know that he's prone to feminine characteristics at times
  1650. >"Alright, Gilda, you comfy?"
  1651. >She looks up at him from her plate, nodding
  1652. >Then, she digs right back in
  1653. >Was she not just fucking fed? Jesus fucking Christ
  1654. >"Alrighty then! Lets start off with something simple--age. How old are you?"
  1655. >You and Myles are both twenty-six--only a day separating the both of you
  1656. >Funny, how both of you are also Geminis
  1657. >Some might say you two were destined to meet from the day you two were born
  1658. >You say that they're retarded and that all of this was of pure coincidence
  1659. >Gilda swallows the current wad of chewed chips in her mouth
  1660. >"Seventeen."
  1661. >She answers the question quickly, presumably so she can go back to stuffing her fa--what
  1662. >She's lying, right?
  1663. >There's no way she's /actually/ seventeen years old
  1664. >Myles shares the same shock you have, raising a brow at the answer
  1665. >Gilda eventually notices this and rolls her eyes, swallowing another handful of chips
  1666. >"Oh come on. That's only in griffon years! I'm sure I'm like, thirty-eight or whatever in your human years."
  1667. >"Ahem... Yeah, right."
  1668. >It takes him a bit before he thinks of another question
  1669. >"Okay, next question. How was the pet shop we got you at? It seemed like a shady place when we got there."
  1670. >For a split second you could've sworn you saw an inch of worry hit her face
  1671. >But, if it was there, it was only there shortly, as a more confident look took over
  1672. >"It was fine."
  1673. >It was silent for a moment, before Myles spoke up again
  1674. >"That's it? It was just... "fine"?"
  1675. >She only nodded
  1676. >Honestly, you expected her to say something more about the place
  1677. >She was wrapped up in restraints, after all
  1678. >"Okay then... Next quest--"
  1679. >"Listen, are all your questions gonna be boring like this? Because if they are, I can just sleep until noon."
  1680. >She eats some more chips
  1681. >Myles sighs, nodding
  1682. >"Alright then. I'll up the ante with this one."
  1683. >He pauses
  1684. >"I was planning to ease into this one, as it's a bit more personal, but since you're asking for it--"
  1685. >"Just ask the damn question already."
  1686. >Myles nods, sighing
  1687. >"Alright."
  1688. >He pauses again, probably to get ready for the response to this question
  1689. >"Do you miss your parents?"
  1690. >And just like that, she was frozen
  1691. >Much like you were, earlier
  1692. >The chips she had in her claw just fell back onto the plate, as she immediately looks to the floor
  1693. >You sigh
  1694. >Well, at least you two know that this is a touchy subject for her now
  1695. >He recoils at her depressed reaction almost immediately, shifting down to the couch to sit next to her
  1696. >He puts an arm around her and speaks to her softly, most likely in an attempt to comfort her
  1697. >This annoys you, for some reason
  1698. >"Wait, Gilda, I'm sorry. I didn't--"
  1699. >"No."
  1700. >Huh?
  1701. >Wait, did she just speak?
  1702. >She turns to look at him again
  1703. >"I don't miss 'em at all."
  1704. >Yes, yes she did
  1705. >That was...
  1706. >Unexpected
  1707. >You thought she was gonna stay silent, like she did when you two first got her
  1708. >Then she'd talk about it later
  1709. >Later being like, tomorrow, or something
  1710. >But no
  1711. >Your theory was crushed almost immediately
  1712. >She sighs, getting off the couch
  1713. >"I'm done answering these stupid questions--I'm doing something else."
  1714. >Her plate is empty
  1715. >What the fuck
  1716. >As Myles puts her plate on the living room table, he looks at her walk towards the kitchen with concern
  1717. >"I'm sorry."
  1718. >She stops, turning her head to look back at him
  1719. >"Sorry for what?"
  1720. >"The questions. I didn't mean for you to react like this."
  1721. >She simply scoffs
  1722. >"Really, that's what you're sorry for? T-Those questions weren't anything--I just don't feel like answering anymore if they're all gonna be like that."
  1723. "Like what?"
  1724. >You don't know why
  1725. >But you felt compelled to ask her that
  1726. >"Simple and boring. I'd rather not get asked another fifty of those, like I'm in some sort of boring interview."
  1727. >"Well," he pipes up again, "I'm just trying to get to know you. The guy who sold you to us didn't tell us much about you except for the fact that you're prone to violence."
  1728. >"Prone to violence?"
  1729. >She does a little laugh before continuing on
  1730. >"Ha! That stupid fucker has no idea what the hell he's talking about--I'm not "prone to violence"."
  1731. "I'd beg to differ," you mutter
  1732. >"What was that?"
  1733. >She turns to you, brows furrowed
  1734. >You look at her, resting your arms on the armrest nearest to her
  1735. "You heard me, Catbird. You seem like a pretty violent kitty, to me."
  1736. >She growls
  1737. "See? What kind of peaceful animal does that?"
  1738. >"Never said I was peaceful."
  1739. "But you just said that you're not prone to violence--doesn't that mean peaceful?"
  1740. >"No," she walks up to you, jumping off the ground to float in the air
  1741. >She does this so she can talk to you while staring you down
  1742. >"It just means that I'm not gonna claw your fucking face off for getting me angry. Kinda like now."
  1743. >You scoff, turning away from her
  1744. "That sounded pretty violent if you ask me."
  1745. >She grabs the collar to your shirt, as you smirk
  1746. >"I can GET pretty fuckin' violent, if you want me to. And by the look of it, it sounds like you fuckin' do!"
  1747. >Chuckling, you put a hand on her arm
  1748. "Try me, catbitch."
  1749. >You swear if Myles hadn't dashed in between you two at the right time, you'd be on the floor
  1750. >"Ladies!"
  1751. >He quickly removes Gilda from you, sighing
  1752. >"Please," he looks at you, "Chill," and then he looks at catbird, "Calm down. We're all family here--"
  1753. >"My only family is you, Myles"
  1754. >He looks at you again, and you just roll your eyes
  1755. "I feel the same way Gilda feels, "mah dude"."
  1756. >She's growling again
  1757. >Somebody call animal control
  1758. >He sighs
  1759. >"Well, we all live in the same house--we have to at least TRY to get along."
  1760. >He looks up at the flying bird and gives her a nice warm smile
  1761. >"If me and Claire can get along perfectly, then I'm sure it's possible that you and her can get along, as well."
  1762. >It could happen
  1763. >You don't foresee it happening, but it could very well happen--wait
  1764. >What the hell's he trying to say about you?
  1765. >A moment of silence passes
  1766. >Gilda flys off towards the kitchen, for whatever reason
  1767. >While you just sigh, looking away from him
  1768. >He falls back, the couch comforting his landing
  1769. >After a while, you start to search for the T.V. remote
  1770. >You'll need something to pass the time
  1771. >"I'm sure if you two went for a walk, you'd actually get along..."
  1772. >Huh?
  1773. >Your attention is brought to Myles with a brow raised
  1774. >Gilda is no different--she turned around to face him
  1775. "A walk?"
  1776. >Gilda questions it as well as she flies back to him
  1777. >Honestly, you don't even know why she's doing that
  1778. >She most likely hates the idea of a walk as much as you do
  1779. >There's no way she'd actually agree to that
  1780. >Myles turns to his favorite pet, nodding
  1781. >"Yeah, a walk. Just a simple little walk--doesn't even have to be that long."
  1782. >As she flutters to the floor, she tilts her head to the side
  1783. >"Well, what's in it for me?"
  1784. >"Well, while you two are out, I'll get started on lunc--"
  1785. >As soon as his sentence ended, Gilda dashed to the door as if she were the roadrunner
  1786. >And, being the annoying cunt she is--
  1787. >"Come on, cunt-face! I'm not gonna wait all day for your ass!"
  1788. >...She rushes you
  1789. >Again, you hate her
  1790. >So much
  1791. >You don't move, however
  1792. >You're not persuaded by the idea of food like a stupid starving cat--you've got enough weight on you as is
  1793. >Myles takes notice of this, tilting his head to the side
  1794. >Huh
  1795. >That's a quirk you haven't seen him do in awhile
  1796. >"Aren't you going?"
  1797. >You just shake your head, crossing your arms
  1798. >He sighs
  1799. >"Really? Why the hell not?"
  1800. "You know exactly why I'm not going, fucker."
  1801. >At this, he just smiles
  1802. >You kind of wish he didn't
  1803. >"Oh come on. Are you saying you really can't handle Gilda for a little over thirty minutes?"
  1804. "I can barely take her for /a/ minute--what makes you think I can suffer her for more that?"
  1805. >"Because you've dealt with much, much worse before."
  1806. >He's lying through his teeth
  1807. >...
  1808. >No he's not
  1809. >You wish he was
  1810. >But, again, he /is/ right about that
  1811. >All throughout high school, you've had to deal with cunts a lot crustier than this one
  1812. >And even a little bit after high school life, too
  1813. >While, Gilda is nothing you can't handle
  1814. >That doesn't mean you /want/ to handle her
  1815. >From what you've noticed already from the stupid catbird, she's an annoying little shit that's hiding a lot more than she really should
  1816. >Plus she's not a pony
  1817. >You bet a pony wouldn't act this annoying, even if they could talk
  1818. >They'd be nice to you
  1819. >They'd hug you, be a companion like no other
  1820. >Maybe you'd even have playful moments like Gilda and Myles did earlier
  1821. >But no
  1822. >Everything else just had to be expensive as hell
  1823. "Name one time."
  1824. >Despite the fact that you already know that he's right, you decide to challenge him
  1825. >Bastard couldn't possibly name an exact time--
  1826. >"Maya."
  1827. "Fuck you."
  1828. >He chuckles at this, putting his arm around you
  1829. >"Maya?"
  1830. >Huh?
  1831. >Oh
  1832. >You forgot Gilda was even here
  1833. >You'll just ignore her, for now
  1834. >"From what you've told me, Claire, Maya was a lot worse than Gilda is."
  1835. >His caring smile makes you--involuntarily--smile
  1836. >Which causes you to look away from him
  1837. >You hate it when you smile like this
  1838. >"Spending an hour or two with Gilda isn't gonna kill you, Claire. You know it isn't."
  1839. "Or two?"
  1840. >"Or three, shit, it doesn't matter."
  1841. >You giggled at that
  1842. >Fucking hell, why did you giggle at that?
  1843. >"Point is, you two need to be fast friends. Like I said, we're all family here, and that's not gonna change any time soon. Not on my account, anyway."
  1844. >You finally decide it's time to look at him
  1845. >Before you do, however, you take a quick sigh
  1846. >But when you do look at him, the two of you share the same kind of smile
  1847. >You don't even know how to describe it
  1848. >The only word you actually /can/ describe with is...
  1849. >Well...
  1850. >Genuine
  1851. >And, after a moment's passing, both of you are chuckling like mad
  1852. >You don't even know /why/ you're laughing like this
  1853. >You just are
  1854. >Fuck
  1855. >The two of you laugh, chuckle, then giggle for a moment or
  1856. >But, eventually, it dies down
  1857. >And, audibly, Gilda groans
  1858. >You can't help but sigh
  1859. >Again, ignoring
  1860. >You stand, smirking at your friend
  1861. "Fine, fine. I'll take her out for a bit."
  1862. >"Thank you."
  1863. >He stands with you, ready to get back into the kitchen
  1864. "We'll be back before nine fifteen," you assure him before walking away
  1865. >His eyes quickly move from the cable box's clock, then back to you
  1866. >"But it's nine fourteen."
  1867. >All you do is chuckle some more
  1868. >And you hear him chuckle as well
  1869. >You reach the front door, actually smiling at Gilda, for once
  1870. "C'mon, you little shit. We've got time to kill until your precious food'll be done."
  1871. >The two of you walk out of the front door, but not before Gilda raises a brow
  1872. >"You wouldn't happen to have a leash and collar on you, would you?"
  1873. >...
  1874. >Excuse you, what?
  1875. >You simply glare at her
  1876. >She gives you a glare of her own, although her's seems to be more confused than not
  1877. >"What?"
  1878. >You can't help but sigh, walking forward
  1879. >The bird decides to fly besides you, for whatever reason
  1880. >This is gonna be a really long walk, isn't it?
  1881.  
  1882.  
  1883. >"Just hang on to them, we're gonna need them."
  1884. "No, we're not. For as much as I want you to be one, Gilda, you're not a fucking dog."
  1885. >"Listen, if you have to trust me on anything, trust me on this. I know we're gonna need them."
  1886. >You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose
  1887. "Fine, fine. Just come on, already."
  1888. >Pushing the collar in one pocket, and the leash in another, you walk forward
  1889. >Gilda follows, still flying beside you
  1890. >You two just spent the last thirty fucking minutes arguing over whether or not you should take her stupid BDSM shit with you
  1891. >Eventually, however, you let her win
  1892. >Not because you'd rather be safe than sorry
  1893. >But because you were just getting tired of arguing
  1894. >Fuck
  1895. >You know you're right, but apparently that doesn't change a damn thing for her
  1896. >She just has to be a stubborn little shit about it
  1897. >...
  1898. >Why does that sound so familiar?
  1899. >"Hello, Earth to human?"
  1900. >Huh?
  1901. >Oh, Gilda's talking to you
  1902. >Turning to her, you raise a brow
  1903. "Huh?"
  1904. >"Did you even hear a word I said?"
  1905. >Yes, of course you did
  1906. >Every single word
  1907. "Not at all."
  1908. >You're incapable of lying sometimes
  1909. >...Did her eye twitch again?
  1910. >"Well, never-fucking-mind, then, if you're not even gonna listen!"
  1911. "What did you say?"
  1912. >"No, no, it's fine, really. I'll just shut my fucking beak. I mean, I'm just trying to actually follow Master's orders, is all. Nothing fucking important."
  1913. >You'll just ignore that little slip-up of her's
  1914. "Just tell me, you fucking cunt," you slip your hands in your pockets, taking note that you actually brought money with you, "This trip's gonna go a whole lot slower if we're not gonna bother talking to each other."
  1915. >The bird sighs, crossing her arms
  1916. >"Fine. I just asked you who this 'Maya' chick is--"
  1917. "'Maya'?"
  1918. >"Is that not how it's said?"
  1919. "No, it's not--you literally heard us say it earlier. It's 'Maya'."
  1920. >"But that's what I--"
  1921. >She rolls her eyes
  1922. >"Fine, whatever. I just asked you who this 'MAYA' chick is."
  1923. "Thank you."
  1924. >As you two continue to travel, Gilda looks at you, expectantly
  1925. >And eventually, she speaks up again
  1926. >"So?"
  1927. "So, what?"
  1928. >"Maya. What'd she do to you?"
  1929. >Now, you're groaning
  1930. "Why do you care?"
  1931. >"You said she was worse than me."
  1932. "Yeah, and?"
  1933. >"I wanna know /how/ much worse she was."
  1934. "Why? You wanna get some pointers from her on annoying me or something?"
  1935. >"No, I just want to know, asshole. Especially when you're describing her as worse than me."
  1936. "Well, just know that she is--that's all I'm gonna tell you--"
  1937. >"Why?"
  1938. >Sighing, you look at the sky
  1939. "Maybe I just don't wanna talk about her--is that so hard to believe?"
  1940. >"No, but you said it yourself--it's gonna make for a long ass trip if you don't start yapping like no tomorrow."
  1941. >Normally, you'd combat this
  1942. >...But, sadly, this little shit actually has a point
  1943. >A point that you made earlier
  1944. >But a point none the less
  1945. >...
  1946. >Maybe you should talk about her
  1947. >Just for a moment or two--nothing drastic
  1948. >It couldn't possibly hurt, right?
  1949. >Sighing, you begin to speak
  1950. "Fine, fine. But I'm not gonna enjoy it."
  1951. >"Never said you had to enjoy it."
  1952. >Rolling your eyes, you start off at nowhere else but the beginning
  1953. "We weren't lying earlier, either--she /is/ worse than you, tenfold. Although, I think that's just because I knew her longer than I do you. Her effect was amplified over the years."
  1954. >"Well, when'd you first meet her?"
  1955. "High school, freshman year."
  1956.  
  1957. >JESUS
  1958. >DODGE BALL CAN GO DIE IN HELL
  1959. >Panting, you drop to your knees
  1960. >You need a fucking breather...
  1961. >You just narrowly avoided another dodge ball thrown at you
  1962. >This one was thrown at your face, no less
  1963. >Which would be all fine and dandy--you're used to dodging stupid shit
  1964. >...If, of course, you weren't the only one left on the team
  1965. >Adjusting your glasses, you stand
  1966. >You're tired
  1967. >You hate this
  1968. >Why the hell does your team suck donkey dick?
  1969. >You take a quick glance to the "out" section of the gym
  1970. >Oh right
  1971. >Today's game was 20/20 versus four-eyes
  1972. >Which doesn't actually make much sense
  1973. >Not everybody who doesn't wear glasses has perfect eyesight
  1974. >Some people just can't afford good glasse--FUCK
  1975. >THAT WAS DEFINITELY AIMED AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD
  1976. >Another one just barely missed you
  1977. >Thank God
  1978. >Although that just tells you that their aim is getting better
  1979. >...
  1980. >You should probably start throwing some of these balls back at them
  1981. >As you turn around to fetch a ball, another one comes soaring at you
  1982. >Once again, it barely misses you
  1983. >What the fuck is with you and these balls today?
  1984. >These guys can't hit for shit
  1985. >Picking up the ball, you turn to face the crowd
  1986. >Three of 'em still have balls
  1987. >The other twenty are just fodder
  1988. >This is a lost fucking cause
  1989. >You're tired
  1990. >You hate this
  1991. >You're gonna lose--the fact that most of the balls are on your side means nothing at this point
  1992. >Taking a deep breath in, you sigh
  1993. >Better make this one ball count
  1994. >You rush up to the mid-line, and with one quick movement of your arm, you toss the ball with an immense force that could shatter fucking brick walls!
  1995. >...
  1996. >No, you merely wish you did that
  1997. >What you DID do, however, is throw like a girl
  1998. >The ball just bounced onto the other side, lazily
  1999. >And after this event happened, you ran the fuck away
  2000. >And unluckily enough, a ball thrown by the other side managed to hit your ass, making you the last on your team to be out
  2001. >"HA! TAKE THAT, FOUR-EYES!"
  2002. >You swear if you had a gun this entire school would be gone
  2003.  
  2004. >"What the hell does any of this have to do with Maya?"
  2005. "Would you relax? I'm getting to that."
  2006. >"Sounds like you're taking your sweet ass time getting to it."
  2007. >You groan
  2008. "Fine, then. I'll just skip ahead
  2009.  
  2010. >You close your gym locker, sighing
  2011. >God, do you hate gym
  2012. >It hasn't even been a week of school, and you already hate everything about it
  2013. >Adjusting your glasses once more, you grab your book bag and start to speed walk out of the locker room
  2014. >"Hey, wait!"
  2015. >Keep walking, Claire, they're not talking to you
  2016. >"Four-eyes, wait up!"
  2017. >Keep walking
  2018. >You hear rapid footsteps behind you, getting closer and closer
  2019. >And all you try to do is walk away from them
  2020. >Sadly, this was simply futile
  2021. >A hand lays itself on your shoulder, causing you to look back at whoever the hell this was
  2022. >Some white redhead with brown eyes
  2023. >As much as you don't want to believe it, this gal was obviously the one who called out to you
  2024. >...And most likely the one who called you "Four-eyes" during gym
  2025. >Good, you hate her already
  2026. >She pants a bit before speaking with that pretty smile of her's
  2027. >"Jeez, girl! Can you hear, or what? I swear I was callin' ya for hours!"
  2028. >Your ears are perfectly fine
  2029. >Turning around fully, your raise a brow at her
  2030. "What do you want?"
  2031. >"Heh, aren't you a pissy one? Did your Mom eat your cereal today or something?"
  2032. >You don't eat breakfast
  2033. "I won't ask this again--what the hell do you want?"
  2034. >Giggling, she continues
  2035. >"Oh, I just wanted to congratulate you today on today's dodge ball game--I ain't never seen anybody with agility like you!"
  2036. >Agility?
  2037. >Is she fucking insane?
  2038. >You got lucky about a million times--that's it
  2039. "And?"
  2040. >"You also lasted longer than anybody else by yourself. I mean, dude, did you even see yourself out there?"
  2041. "If I could, then I'd be omnipotent."
  2042. >She raises a brow of her own at your dryness, still smiling
  2043. "Anybody could've done what I did out there--the fact that /I/ did it means nothing."
  2044. >Turning around, you walk away from her
  2045. >But, she's in front of you before you know it
  2046. >More reasons to put her as number one the "To Kill" list
  2047. >"Oh come on--you and I both know that's bullshit! What you did was fucking awesome--"
  2048. "About as awesome as water."
  2049. >You walk around her--nope
  2050. >She's in front of you again
  2051. >"Listen--I like you, four-eyes. You seem pretty fuckin' cool, with moves like that."
  2052. >She puts out her hand, most likely for you to shake
  2053. >"I'm Maya!"
  2054. >What?
  2055. "You mean 'Maya', right?"
  2056. >"No, no. Not 'Maya', 'MAYA'!"
  2057. >...
  2058. >What?
  2059. >But you--...
  2060. >Oh, whatever
  2061. >Reluctantly, you shake her hand
  2062. "Claire."
  2063.  
  2064. >"...And you hate her for that?"
  2065. >You roll your eyes
  2066. "No. What do you take me for?"
  2067. >"An idiot."
  2068. "Says the bird brain."
  2069. >"Says the monkey. You want a banana?"
  2070. "Like you're any better--polly wanna cracker? Or maybe some worms'll be more nutritional."
  2071. >Besides for her growling, silenced welcomed you two for a moment before you decided to speak again
  2072. "If I hated her for that, then I'd be a fucking asshole. Do you not realize how nice she was to me?"
  2073. >"That's why I was asking."
  2074. >Looking at the sky, you continue
  2075. "Honestly, in the beginning, she was a nice friend--my only friend, in fact. She tried to introduce me to the pack of friends she had, but I didn't exactly fit in."
  2076. >"How?"
  2077. "I... don't really know how to explain it."
  2078. >Putting a hand to your chin, you think about Maya's friends
  2079. >Although, you don't remember much about them
  2080. >Except for their snottiness, maybe
  2081. >Even then, they weren't that bad
  2082. >You guess...
  2083. "They were just too "girl-y", if that makes any sense."
  2084. >"Girly?"
  2085. >That caught her attention
  2086. "Yeah. Sorry if that's not really--"
  2087. >"No, no! I get what you mean. I've met "girly" girls before."
  2088. >Smirking, you look at her curiously
  2089. "Really? I didn't know you knew people."
  2090. >She frowns
  2091. >"Fuck off."
  2092. >The smirk fades, but your curiosity stays
  2093. "Was it one of your previous owners, or somethin'?"
  2094. >"Aren't you telling a story?"
  2095. >How defensive
  2096. >The smirk comes back as you stretch
  2097. "Right, right. Maya."
  2098. >You take a moment to think about where you were
  2099. >That question you asked actually sidetracked you a lot more than you wanted to be
  2100. >Where were you?
  2101. >Uh...
  2102. >Oh yeah!
  2103. "Yeah, they were girly. I couldn't seem to attach myself to 'em as well as Maya did. Me and Maya stayed friends and all, I just didn't join her group of friends."
  2104. >Gilda nods
  2105. "And, over the years, I really grew to like Maya. She was a good friend."
  2106. >"Then what the fuck happened? Why the hell is she considered to be so much more worse than me?"
  2107. >You frown
  2108. "Let's just say the last two years weren't as pleasant as the first."
  2109. >You pause once more, thinking of a way to say this
  2110. "Well... Have you ever had a falling out with a friend before," she nodded, "And then proceeded to hate that friend for the rest of your life?"
  2111. >She nods again
  2112. "That's what it was with me and Maya. I don't know what happened to her over the summer of Sophomore year, but when we came back as Juniors... she fuckin' changed."
  2113. >You sigh
  2114. "I honestly think she started to hate me, before I really started to hate her. Come Junior year, she was really into "play fighting" a lot more than before. Which never turned out good for me."
  2115. >Remembering all those "accidental" black eyes makes you cringe
  2116. >And it makes you rub your eye
  2117. >Specifically the right one
  2118. "And it all just got worse in Senior year. More punches, more pushing, more things being thrown at me."
  2119. >"Things like what?"
  2120. "Food, typically."
  2121. >Gilda giggles
  2122. >Your voice lowers to a growl
  2123. "It's not funny."
  2124. >"Oh come on, dude. It's at least kinda funny."
  2125. "You know, Gilda, I wonder how you'd like that. Everyday at lunch, you get something thrown at you that stains your clothes, whether it be crumbs of a cookie, or the sauce from a steak."
  2126. >"I don't wear clothes."
  2127. "If you did."
  2128. >"But I don't--it's not my fault you humans think it's normal to wear clothes all the time."
  2129. "Then imagine it getting stuck in your feathers, or your fur. You wouldn't like that, now would you?"
  2130. >The griffon ponders on that for a moment
  2131. >Then, she responds
  2132. >"I'd probably sock 'em in the jaw."
  2133. >For some reason, you smile at that
  2134. "Then you'll understand why I finally broke it off with her."
  2135.  
  2136. >You sigh
  2137. >Two more weeks, Claire
  2138. >Two more weeks
  2139. >You can live that long, right?
  2140. >Then you won't have to deal with that fucking cunt anymore
  2141. >Taking your lunch tray from the lunch lady, you mosey your way on over to your lunch table
  2142. >Where you sit right across from Maya
  2143. >Fuck everything
  2144. >As you sit, you shut your eyes tight
  2145. >She's gonna hit you again
  2146. >She does this every day at lunch
  2147. >OW!
  2148. >On fucking cue, she punches your arm
  2149. >Hard
  2150. >Her punches just get harder and harder every day
  2151. >"Hey, there's my four-eyes! What's up, dude?"
  2152. >The sky
  2153. >Your urge to kill
  2154. >Simple things
  2155. "Nothing much, May. What about yourself?"
  2156. >"Not much, dude. Although, I think Ms. Eisenhower has it out for me."
  2157. "The math teacher?"
  2158. >"Yup!"
  2159. "You don't even have her class."
  2160. >"Yeah, but, every time I walk by her she just fucking /stares/ at me."
  2161. "What did you do?"
  2162. >"Nothing! Honest to God, dude! She just /stares/ at me. Like I'm some sort of criminal or somethin'."
  2163. >Ms. Eisenhower might have the right idea, then
  2164. >You look down at your plate
  2165. >Hamburger and fries
  2166. >You lift the top bun of the burger, raising a brow
  2167. >Yup
  2168. >Just like you thought
  2169. >Fucking pickles
  2170. >You fucking hate pickles with a passion
  2171. >Looking up at Maya, you ask her a question
  2172. >Dryly
  2173. "You want these pickle slices?"
  2174. >"Yeah, sure, I'll take 'em."
  2175. >Picking up the pickles, you hand them to her
  2176. >And not a second later, the pickles are right back in your face
  2177. >Well, on your face
  2178. >As you sigh, you hear her laugh
  2179. >Laugh like a God damn mad man
  2180. "It's not funny."
  2181. >"Pfft, yeah it is! You should see the look on your face--it's priceless!"
  2182. >You stand, smashing your hands on the table
  2183. "What the fuck is your problem, Maya?"
  2184. >She looks at you, clueless
  2185. >"What do you mean?"
  2186. "You know EXACTLY what I mean, asshole. This is the umpteenth time you've thrown your disgusting fucking food at me--"
  2187. >"Oh, come on, Claire. It's just a joke--"
  2188. "A FUCKING JOKE!?"
  2189. >You fucking exploded, slamming your hands on the table again
  2190. "So I guess my entire fucking existence is literally just a joke to you, then?!"
  2191. >"What? What are you talking abou--"
  2192. "Don't try to fucking act retarded! You know exactly what I'm talking about! Every day--every single fucking day you throw shit at me. Every day you hit me like I'm a slave. Every fucking day is nonstop with you!"
  2193. >She doesn't respond this time
  2194. "And you know what I've been doing for the past TWO YEARS putting up with this shit? I've said nothing, done nothing--I've just let you play your stupid fucking games and let you hurt me. Although, looking back on it, I don't even know WHY I did that!"
  2195. >Now she decides to stand, crossing her arms
  2196. >"The hell are you getting at, Claire?"
  2197. "I'M FUCKING SICK OF YOU, MAYA! I'M SICK OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH!"
  2198. >As your balled your fists, your nostrils flared
  2199. >"I--Well... FINE THEN! A-And if we're being honest here, I think you look like putrid dog shit!"
  2200. "You look like the dead bird that the cat dragged in!"
  2201. >"You look like a whore!"
  2202. "And you don't, slut?"
  2203. >She growled, her hands clenching the table
  2204. >"You... You... YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER!"
  2205.  
  2206. "I honestly think I blacked out after that. But the next day, I was suspended for the rest of the year for starting a fight. I asked a bunch of Maya's friends what happened, and they all said I knocked her the fuck out."
  2207. >"Dude, that's fucking awesome."
  2208. "No, not awesome. I had to repeat senior year for that shit. And instead of being a social outcast, I was fucking feared by all the underclassmen. It was fucking terrible."
  2209. >You two end up at a park
  2210. >...You have no idea /how/, but you're not gonna complain
  2211. >Taking a seat on a park bench you cross your legs
  2212. >Gilda follows suit--she even crosses her legs like you
  2213. >Yeah, she's not sitting like a dog this time
  2214. >She's sitting like a damn human
  2215. >And it's kinda weird
  2216. >You didn't think she could do that
  2217. "Anyway, after that, I never saw her again. And, incidentally, I'm pretty sure that's what made me become a pacifist."
  2218. >"You're a pacifist?"
  2219. "Well, I'm definitely not an MMA fighter, I can tell you that much."
  2220. >The griffon giggled at that comment, making you smile
  2221. >"I'm not gonna lie, dude, I had something similar happen to me."
  2222. >You raise a brow
  2223. "Really?"
  2224. >"Yeah. I--..."
  2225. >She stops to sigh
  2226. >"I used to have a friend, way back when. I knew her for all of my life, basically. But, when I decided to visit her again... things changed. She was still herself, but..."
  2227. "It just wasn't the same?"
  2228. >She nods
  2229. >"And then, she even had this stupid friend of hers, getting in our way. And she had the fucking NERVE to actually "throw a party" for me."
  2230. "Your friend, or her friend?"
  2231. >She growls
  2232. >"HER friend."
  2233. >By the looks of it, it seems like her anger is getting the best of her
  2234. >Not that she has a "best" part of her to speak of, but still
  2235. >"It was a fuckin' set up, dude! Everything I tried at that stupid fucking party was a fucking prank made by her and her stupid fucking friend. I--I couldn't fucking take it! That she would leave me for her, that fucking dweeb of a pony--"
  2236. >"GET THE FUCK OFF THE BENCH!"
  2237. >What?
  2238. >Who the hell was that?
  2239. >You and Gilda look at each other
  2240. >You two share the same expression--shock
  2241. >Shock and fear
  2242. >Although, you're probably more fearful than she is
  2243. >You two jump off the bench--
  2244. >"No, no! Not YOU!"
  2245. >What?
  2246. >You look down at Gilda
  2247. >All she can do is shrug at you
  2248. >Out of seemingly nowhere, some guy with a fedora on--or is that a trilby?--walks up to you and Gilda
  2249. >He seems kinda overweight, too, by the looks of it
  2250. >The griffon then begins to float, so that she can be eye-level with this guy
  2251. >She already seems annoyed
  2252. >Although you're not sure if that's from him, or her story
  2253. >Mr. Trilby points at her, frowning furiously
  2254. >"YOU!"
  2255. >Questioningly, with a hint of snark in her voice, Gilda points to herself
  2256. >"Me?"
  2257. >"I'm not talking to the fucking tree, am I?"
  2258. >"I dunno, you look like the typ--"
  2259. "GILDA!"
  2260. >He just chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets
  2261. >As Gilda fell to the floor, you couldn't help but glare at him
  2262. >You glared in disbelief
  2263. >And you glared in anger
  2264. >How DARE he
  2265. >How fucking DARE he!
  2266. >How fucking DARE he put his hands on her like that?!
  2267. >"Don't talk back to your superiors, slave."
  2268. >Slave?
  2269. >Oh hell no
  2270. >As you crack your knuckles, you walk up to this living shit stain
  2271. "Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  2272. >He turns to you, smiling
  2273. >"Oh! Hello there, m'lady," he tips his trilby to you, "Pardon me for a moment. I'm just showing this bitch her place."
  2274. >You grab him by the collar of his shirt
  2275. "Insult her one more fucking time, jackass, and see what happens."
  2276. >"Oh, is that one yours?"
  2277. "She's sure as hell not yours, I can fucking tell you that much."
  2278. >"Then you'll thank me! It seems disrespectful--you really should train your slave better."
  2279. >Next time he says slave, you're breaking him
  2280. "I'll give you five seconds to take everything you said about her back before I send you to the hospital."
  2281. >"I'm going to assume that it is yours, then. I really do feel like she's a disrespectful one, Ma'am--
  2282. "Five."
  2283. >"If you need me to train her for you for a couple days--"
  2284. "Four."
  2285. >"Then I can definitely do that! It would not be a problem--you don't even have to pay me--"
  2286. "Three."
  2287. >"And besides, I doubt that your weak woman hands could do anything to me--I mean, reall--"
  2288. "TWO--"
  2289. >"Claire!"
  2290. >You and the shit stain turn your heads to the griffon laying on the floor
  2291. >She's getting up now, with a smirk
  2292. >She's standing like that son of a bitch never touched her
  2293. >Impressive
  2294. >"Calm down, dude. I got this prick."
  2295. "Somehow, I doubt that."
  2296. >"Fuck off. I hit harder than I look."
  2297. >"Ma'am, you aren't really going to let your slave try to beat me up, are you?"
  2298. >If Gilda didn't say that she had this, he'd be on the floor by now
  2299. >Letting go of his collar, you cross your arms
  2300. >"What do you mean 'try'?"
  2301. >...
  2302. >You think she's growing on you
  2303. "And besides--I'm a pacifist. I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to."
  2304. >Keep telling yourself that, Claire
  2305. >One day, you're gonna break somebody's jaw if you're angry enough
  2306. >Shit, it happened with Maya
  2307. >...Probably
  2308. >The faggot speaks again, with this very smug smirk on his face
  2309. >...Kind of reminds you of Myles
  2310. >Except this faggot's smugness somehow makes you more enraged than Myles' ever could
  2311. >God, if you could punch him...
  2312. >"I'm fairly certain that this bitch couldn't harm me at all, ma'am--in fact, I'm sure that she'll be hurt more that I would--FUCK!"
  2313. >Well, seems like Gilda did it for you
  2314. >By sucker-punching this fat fuck in the gut
  2315. >The shit stain collapses to the floor, coughing furiously
  2316. >Is it bad that you're laughing?
  2317. >He holds onto his gigantic stomach for dear life
  2318. >As if it was his only child
  2319. >Gilda floats over him, smirking
  2320. >"What was that about not being able to harm you?"
  2321. >"L-... Lucky s-shot."
  2322. >"Then I guess this shot's even luckier."
  2323. >OW
  2324. >Sheesh
  2325. >For fuck's sake, you don't even have balls and you're cringing at that nut-shot she made
  2326. >You think he's crying now
  2327. >Heh
  2328. >You almost wish you felt sorry for him
  2329. >...
  2330. >No you don't
  2331. >Fucking bastard deserves it, after insulting her like that
  2332. >Calling her a slave
  2333. >Fuck him
  2334. >You walk over to Gilda, smirking
  2335. "Nice one, dude."
  2336. >"Thanks, dude. I had to show that loser what for."
  2337. >You snicker as the griffon floats over his body
  2338. >Once again, you chuckle at him
  2339. >He's lying on the ground, writhing in pain
  2340. >And you have no regrets
  2341. >You can only assume that Gilda doesn't have any, either
  2342. >As you two get away from the crime scene, you can't help but think back to what that faggot called Gilda
  2343. >A "slave"
  2344. >A slave for what?
  2345. >Cooking food?
  2346. >Ha, yeah, right
  2347. "Slave," you chuckle out
  2348. >The catbird looks at you curiously, stuttering out her words
  2349. >"H-Huh?"
  2350. >Er, word
  2351. "That guy. He really called you a 'slave', the dumbass. That'd be fuckin' stupid."
  2352. >"Hahaha... Y-Yeah, stupid."
  2353. >Huh?
  2354. >You look at Gilda, raising a brow
  2355. "Something wrong, Gilda?"
  2356. >"What? Pfft, no. Nothing's wrong with me, Claire. I'm perfectly fine."
  2357. "You sure?"
  2358. >"I'm fine."
  2359. "You don't sound fine--"
  2360. >"I'm FINE, fuck off."
  2361. >Sheesh
  2362. >You roll your eyes
  2363. "Fine, then. Excuse me for being friendly."
  2364. >Sarcastically, she chuckles before responding sharply
  2365. >"Friendly? You call that 'friendly'?"
  2366. >You stop walking to turn to her, your arms crossed
  2367. "It's sure as hell a lot more friendly than YOU'VE been, I can tell you that much."
  2368. >She does the same--turning to you and crossing her arms
  2369. >"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not the one who threw fucking food at you like you're a fucking dog!"
  2370. "It's not my fucking fault that SOMEBODY isn't as trained as they should be. Maybe I should take up that guy's offer--"
  2371. >"You wouldn't DARE!"
  2372. "Oh, wouldn't I? Coming from the cunt who impersonated me, for fuck's sake? I mean, obviously, you should know EXACTLY what I'm going to do even before I do it, right?"
  2373. >She takes a moment to growl before she snarls at you, her voice becoming more tense as she speaks
  2374. >"W-What the hell else was I supposed to do? You were gonna tell him that I can talk!"
  2375. "And yet, you talked anyway--"
  2376. >"ONLY BECAUSE YOU FORCED ME TO!"
  2377. "I didn't force you to do ANYTHING! You brought that upon your fucking self!"
  2378. >Your nails are digging into the palms of your hands at this point
  2379. >And, by the looks of it, her claws are doing the same to her
  2380. >"Yeah, because YOU started it! I wouldn't have had to talk so fucking fast if you didn't fuck with me in the first fucking place!"
  2381. "Why the hell are you being so fucking secretive, anyway?! You don't want to talk, you don't want to tell us about you--what the hell is wrong with you?!"
  2382. >"MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A FUCKING SLAVE AGAIN, HAS THAT EVER PASSED YOUR STUPID MONKEY MIND?!"
  2383. "WH--..."
  2384. >Wait...
  2385. >What?
  2386. >Suddenly, you become a lot less tense than you were
  2387. >However, Gilda looks like she isn't losing her anger any time soon
  2388. "Gilda?"
  2389. >As if you were Myles, you speak softly to her
  2390. >She turns away from you, her claws still balled
  2391. >As you attempt to get closer, your voice becomes more comforting
  2392. >At least, you hope it is
  2393. "I... I didn't realize that--"
  2394. >A gust of wind blows your hair in front of your face, blocking your view
  2395. >And, when move your hair out of the way, you notice that she's gone
  2396. >Looking up in the sky, you see her gaining altitude
  2397. >She's quickly getting smaller and smaller
  2398. >But eventually, she stops once she's high enough
  2399. >And then, she blasts off into the city, back the way you came
  2400. >Thank God
  2401. >But, the thing is...
  2402. >She doesn't know where she's going
  2403. >But she doesn't know where she's going...
  2404. >For a moment, you stare at her fly in shock
  2405. >Then, you force yourself to bolt off after her
  2406. >You don't know how you're gonna catch her--or if you're even gonna catch her
  2407. >But you're not gonna go home without her
  2408. >Not only would Myles be mad at you
  2409. >But...
  2410. >...
  2411. >Never mind
  2412. >You just have to focus on catching her--or at least, following her
  2413. >Simple enough, right?
  2414. >God, you hope you're not wrong
  2415.  
  2416. >Gilda grabs Claire's shirt collar, floating in the air with a mean scowl
  2417. >"I can GET pretty fuckin' violent, if you want me to, and it sounds like you fuckin' do!"
  2418. >Why is Claire chuckling?
  2419. >Wasn't she supposed to be afraid of her?
  2420. >"Try it, catbird."
  2421. >Gilda growls
  2422. >Oh no
  2423. >This isn't gonna go well
  2424. >Panicking, you step in between the two, removing Gilda from Claire's personal space
  2425. >They were way too close for comfort
  2426. >You're not about to let them fight each other, hell no
  2427. >That'd be a catfight you wouldn't want to see
  2428. >...Also, Claire's a lot stronger than she lets on
  2429. >That, coupled with Gilda's claws, would make for a very scary fight
  2430. "Ladies!"
  2431. >You turn to Claire, trying to look as sincere as possible
  2432. "Chill."
  2433. >Then, you turn to Gilda, smiling warmly
  2434. "Calm down, please. Aren't we all family here--"
  2435. >Gilda thinks otherwise
  2436. >"My only family is you, Ma-Myles."
  2437. >Fuck
  2438. >Full of hope, you look to Claire
  2439. >She's gotta be reasonable, rig--
  2440. >"I feel the same way Gilda feels, 'mah dude'."
  2441. >You hold Gilda back while she growls
  2442. >Because if you didn't, you're sure she'd fucking maul Claire
  2443. >You sigh
  2444. >They're never gonna tolerate each other, are they?
  2445. "Nobody's moving out anytime soon, guys--we have to at least TRY to get along."
  2446. >Looking to Gilda specifically, you give her that warm smile you did earlier
  2447. "You know, if me and Claire can get along perfectly, then I'm sure it's possible for you and her to get along, as well."
  2448. >Although you don't show it, you immediately regret saying that
  2449. >Because you feel like something's burning behind you
  2450. >Metaphorically burning, to be specific
  2451. >But you swear you can still feel the heat
  2452. >As Gilda rolls her eyes, she turns around, floating away
  2453. >And Claire is no different
  2454. >Except for the whole floating thing
  2455. >She can't do that
  2456. >Feeling stuck, you sigh
  2457. >There's gotta be something you can do, right?
  2458. >Something to make them like each other
  2459. >Or at LEAST tolerate each other
  2460. >If they spent some time together, maybe
  2461. >But how?
  2462. >They hate each other--they'd kill each other before long
  2463. >You put a hand on your chin, falling onto the couch with a loud "pomf!"
  2464. >Casually, you think aloud
  2465. "I'm sure if you two went for a walk, you'd actually get along..."
  2466. >"A walk," they curiously repeat, turning to face you
  2467. >Gilda floats back over to you, while Claire just raises a brow
  2468. >Realizing that you said that aloud, you begin to sigh--wait
  2469. >Why are you sighing?
  2470. >They actually seemed interested in this idea
  2471. >Well, Gilda does
  2472. >Claire, however...
  2473. >Well, she seems disinterested, is all
  2474. >Although, you can't find this surprising in the slightest
  2475. >This is Claire, after all
  2476. >Possibly one of the laziest people you've known thus far
  2477. >In fact, you're sure if you didn't whip her into your schedule, she'd be no bigger than a common landwhale
  2478. >Or no better than a common fedora-prancing neckbeard
  2479. >You've gotta wonder how she even keeps her frame without working out or something
  2480. >She absolutely refuses to do anything exercise related with you that's not just walking around town
  2481. >Girl's a stubborn one, for sure
  2482. >Continuing, you smile at Gilda
  2483. "Yeah, a walk. Just a simple little walk--doesn't even have to be that long."
  2484. >She puts a claw to her chin, slowly landing on the floor
  2485. >"Well, what's in it for me?"
  2486. >...
  2487. >Shit
  2488. >You didn't think this far ahead
  2489. >Actually, wait
  2490. >Your eyes dart towards the empty plate on the living room table, then back to Gilda
  2491. "Well, while you two are out, I'll get started on lun--"
  2492. >Your hair is frizzy now
  2493. >Damn it, Gilda
  2494. >Turning around, you look at the door, noticing the griffon already impatiently waiting there
  2495. >She's also tapping a claw on the floor
  2496. >You can't help but smile at thi--
  2497. >"Come on, cunt-face! I ain't gonna wait all day for your ass!"
  2498. >Did you say smiling?
  2499. >You meant frowning
  2500. >You're frowning now
  2501. >Soon, your attention is brought to Claire
  2502. >Who doesn't seen too enthralled by this idea--as previously mentioned
  2503. >So, you tilt your head at her
  2504. "Aren't you going?"
  2505. >She shakes her head
  2506. >Fucking hell, Claire
  2507. >Sighing, you scooch over to her
  2508. "Really? Why the hell not?"
  2509. >"You know exactly why I'm not going, fucker."
  2510. >You grin
  2511. >Oh, Claire
  2512. >Always so defensive, huh?
  2513. "Oh come on. Are you saying you really can't handle Gilda for a little over thirty minutes?"
  2514. >"I can barely handle her for /a/ minute--what the fuck makes you think I can suffer her for more than that?!"
  2515. >She's so quick to respond
  2516. >You swear, she's almost cutting you off every time you speak
  2517. >Although, you've got a trump card
  2518. "Because you've dealt with much, much worse before."
  2519. >The hot-headed gal just sighs, then looks at the floor
  2520. >She's only doing this because she knows you're right
  2521. >And you know you're right
  2522. >If you weren't, her response would've been a lot quicker than this
  2523. >While she's busy thinking up of her two cents, you can't but notice her
  2524. >Gilda
  2525. >She looks... shocked
  2526. >Shocked and confused
  2527. >This makes you wonder
  2528. >Is she really surprised that there were assholes before her—well
  2529. >Okay, Gilda's not an asshole
  2530. >She's just...
  2531. >Well, she needs to break out of her shell, is all
  2532. >Honestly, you're one-hundred percent sure that if Claire didn't have to deal with people like Gilda, then she wouldn't be the Claire you know today
  2533. >You mean, from what you understand, she's only like this because it was the only way to combat those fuckers
  2534. >After a couple more moments, Claire looks at you again, grimacing
  2535. >"Name one time."
  2536. "Maya."
  2537. >"Fuck you."
  2538. >You were as snappy as she was earlier with your answer
  2539. >Honestly, Maya Descant is probably the easiest choice out of all the dicks she's known throughout her life
  2540. >Although, Clarissa White and Max May are also some notable ones
  2541. >Elementary and Middle school chucklefucks, respectively
  2542. >Chuckling you--
  2543. >"Maya?"
  2544. >Huh?
  2545. >Your head turns to Gilda for a moment
  2546. >She definitely looks confused, now
  2547. >You're assuming Claire'll explain that to her later.
  2548. >Well, okay
  2549. >You hope that she explains it to her
  2550. >There's no chance that she'd actually be willing to explain that shit
  2551. >Your smile comes back as you look at Claire again
  2552. "From what you've told me, Claire, Maya was a LOT worse than Gilda is."
  2553. >Now she looks away, blushing
  2554. >Or, at least, you think she's blushing
  2555. >She blushes a lot without realizing it
  2556. >It's cute, really
  2557. >A "puppy dog" kind of cute
  2558. >The kind of cute you want to take care of
  2559. "Spending an hour or two with Gilda isn't gonna kill you. You know it isn't."
  2560. >Suddenly, she looks at you, confusion written all over her
  2561. >"Or two?"
  2562. "Or three, shit, it doesn't matter."
  2563. >She giggles at your joke
  2564. >You begin to speak with earnest, putting a hand on her shoulder
  2565. "Point is, you two need to be fast friends. Like I said, we're all family here, and that's not gonna change anytime soon. Not on my account, anyway."
  2566. >She sighs, a smile showing itself
  2567. >A lovely smile, that you wish she would show more
  2568. >She only manages to do this when you're like this
  2569. >And with that smile, you swear to the heavens she looks absolutely beautiful
  2570. >Her heavenly hair shines like no other
  2571. >Her green eyes show the compassion she hates to show
  2572. >And her smile tells you a million things
  2573. >A million lovely things
  2574. >...
  2575. >Eventually, you laugh
  2576. >She follows suit, laughing like a hyena
  2577. >Eh, retract that whole "lovely" thing you were talking about
  2578. >After a moment's notice, the laughter dies down into nothing but a quiet stir
  2579. >Which is interrupted by Gilda, who coughs ever so slightly
  2580. >...
  2581. >You think she's jealous
  2582. >Poor thing
  2583. >You need to shower her with lots of love when she comes back with Claire
  2584. >Claire sighs as she stands, looking down at you
  2585. >"Fine, fine. I'll take her out for a bit."
  2586. "Thank you."
  2587. >You stand as well, stretching
  2588. >"We'll be back before nine-fifteen."
  2589. >Taking a look at the clock, you raise a brow
  2590. >But...
  2591. "It's nine-fourteen."
  2592. >She starts to walk away, chuckling
  2593. >Putting a hand to your head, you chuckle as well, heading into the kitchen
  2594. >Gilda and Claire mutter something to each other before leaving out the front door, leaving you by your lonesome
  2595. >...
  2596. >God forbid anything happens to them
  2597.  
  2598. >SLAM
  2599. >What the fuck?
  2600. >It hasn't even been ten fucking minutes!
  2601. >You were taking out the supplies to cook, when Claire busted in—slamming the front door in the process—like a damn tiger
  2602. >You guess that little nine-fifteen quip held some water, then
  2603. >Putting the stick of butter on the kitchen counter, you walk over to the pissed miss
  2604. "Er, Claire, you alrigh--"
  2605. >"Where the fuck is her leash, Myles?"
  2606. >She sounds tense
  2607. "Her leash?"
  2608. >You can't help but repeat her, raising a brow
  2609. >"Did I fucking stutter? Where is it?"
  2610. >Sheesh
  2611. >Just a few minutes ago, she was as happy as can be
  2612. >Now look at her
  2613. >She's more rabid than a raccoon
  2614. >The hell is she so mad for?
  2615. "Er... On the T.V. set, I guess? Or somewhere around there--that's where I remember putting 'em, anyway."
  2616. >Claire looks toward the living room television, her eyes immediately darting to the stand it's sitting on
  2617. >And there, right next to the cable box, is the leash
  2618. >Also, the collar
  2619. >Claire swipes them both, stomping past you with a word
  2620. >You dash in front of her before she can walk outside, however
  2621. "Woah, woah, woah--what happened out there, Claire?"
  2622. >"Bitchbird's being stubborn."
  2623. >She's so fierce with her words
  2624. >If you didn't know her, you'd be terrified right now
  2625. >You're confused more than anything, though
  2626. "Stubborn? How so--"
  2627. >She raises the items
  2628. >"Ya see this?"
  2629. "Uuuuh-huh. I don't really see wha--"
  2630. >"Birdbrain wants me to bring these shits along, 'in case something bad happens'."
  2631. >She then goes on a mocking spree, putting her arms to her side as if she was doing the chicken dance
  2632. >"'Oh, look at me, I'm catbird! I'm a stupid cat-bird cross hybrid that wants to do nothing but eat, shit, and SLEEP all day!'"
  2633. >God damn it, Claire
  2634. >As much as you love this stupid girl, you have to admit
  2635. >She's stupid--no, no
  2636. >She's not stupid
  2637. >Ignorant, yes
  2638. >But not stupid
  2639. "You do realize that you do the same shit, right?"
  2640. >She frowns with her arms crossed against her chest
  2641. >"No-the-fuck I don't!"
  2642. "Claire, if we had never met, then you'd be living with your parents right now, doing the same shit you assume she does. When in fact, she's only ever eaten twice today—and that last part's your fault."
  2643. >Her left eye twitches as she scowls at you
  2644. >Probably because even the slightest mention of her parents causes her to boil
  2645. >She hates them, and you can actually sympathize with her on that front
  2646. >However, you don't exactly "hate" yours
  2647. >You dislike them, definitely, but hate is too strong of a word
  2648. >To put it in contrast—Claire doesn't visit her parents during the holidays
  2649. >You do--shit, you do this /with/ Claire
  2650. >You can stand them for short periods of time—three or four days, typically
  2651. >Claire, however...
  2652. >"Fuck off, asshat."
  2653. >She can barely stand them for a minute
  2654. >Which is funny, really, because you're sure most people like her
  2655. >She can be pleasant when she wants to be
  2656. >Also, you can't help but notice that her snark goes away whenever she's enraged like this
  2657. >Because you're sure she would've came up with some sort of comeback if she wasn't so mad right now
  2658. >Soon after her little retort, she walks past you
  2659. >Apparently she's going upstairs
  2660. >...Wait, what?
  2661. >You follow her with a brow raised
  2662. >The two of you ended up in your bedroom
  2663. >And she's going to your bed, instead of her own
  2664. >What the hell's she doing?
  2665. >You just stand at the door for a moment, confused
  2666. >Then she lifts your mattress
  2667. >What the hell is she doing that fo--...
  2668. >Quickly, you run over to her and slam the mattress back down before she can do anything
  2669. >Crossing your arms, you grimace at her
  2670. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
  2671. >She looks at you with a certain type of innocence
  2672. >An innocence a child would have while lying
  2673. >"Whatever do you mean, Myles?"
  2674. "You know exactly what I mean."
  2675. >You feel as hurt as you sound
  2676. "Why would you even try to steal from me, when you can just ask?"
  2677. >She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms
  2678. >"Because I already know that the answer would be 'no'."
  2679. "How the fuck do you already know, when you haven't even asked me?"
  2680. >She scoffs as goes to sit on your bed
  2681. >"Five years, and you /still/ don't think I know you, inside and out?"
  2682. >Well--...
  2683. >Shit, she's right
  2684. >The two of you know each other like you know Green Eggs and Ham
  2685. >And it's not particularly queer for her to do something stupid like this, just so she gets her way
  2686. >Sighing, you pinch the bridge of your nose
  2687. "Even so, that doesn't mean that you can just steal from me anytime you want."
  2688. >"Yes it does."
  2689. >Disbelief showers your face as you put your hands on your hips
  2690. "How?! How could it possibly--"
  2691. >"Like this."
  2692. >She gets up, lifts up the mattress again, and takes a wad of money from your ever-growing stack of cash from under it
  2693. >She then proceeds to walk away with the cash in hand
  2694. >You're at the doorway before she is, however
  2695. >Swiping the money from her hand, you frown once more
  2696. >Who the hell does she think she is?
  2697. "Once again, you should probably /ask/ me before stealing my fucking money."
  2698. >She chuckles
  2699. >What the fuck
  2700. >Why is she chuckling?
  2701. >She absolutely has no reason to fucking chuckle
  2702. >"Okay. Can I have my money back?"
  2703. "No, you can't have your money ba--What the fuck do you mean /your/ money?!"
  2704. >Balling your fists, you continue
  2705. "You just fucking stole this from me, not even five fucking seconds ago!"
  2706. >"I mean if you wanna be specific--"
  2707. "Fuck you. Specifics have no part in a conversation about you stealing my fucking money! You don't even know what this money's for!"
  2708. >"You act as if you can't get more."
  2709. "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
  2710. >If you had no self control, you'd probably be in jail for domestic abuse right now--Holy shit
  2711. >Okay, maybe it wouldn't be /that/ extreme
  2712. >Mostly because even if you didn't have self control, there's no way in hell you'd ever put a hand on her
  2713. >But the point still stands
  2714. >She's being really insufferable right now
  2715. >Taking a deep breath in, you sigh
  2716. >Gotta calm down--there's no need to be rash
  2717. "Claire, all I'm saying is if you asked me, I probably wouldn't be as furi--... mad as I am right now."
  2718. >You don't let her retort back
  2719. "I mean, this is a break of our trust, y'know--"
  2720. >"Isn't having that hiding place a break of our trust as well?"
  2721. "Well--"
  2722. >...
  2723. >Fuck
  2724. >She chuckles, putting a hand on her hip
  2725. >"Just let me have it, Myles. With as much cash as you have, you won't miss it."
  2726. >Damn it
  2727. >She's just not gonna let up, is she?
  2728. >Ugh
  2729. >The absolute worst part about this is that she's in the wrong
  2730. >And she knows this
  2731. >It's not like she's oblivious to it--you know she's smarter than that
  2732. >She's excersized her intelligence enough for you to know she isn't stupid
  2733. >She's just insanely stubborn
  2734. >And you know she's just gonna keep piling reasons on and on until you give up
  2735. >And honestly, you'd rather not be sitting here for another ten minutes
  2736. "Fine."
  2737. >You hand her the cash
  2738. >And she takes it gleefully
  2739. >"Glad you understand, Myl--"
  2740. "But!"
  2741. >Suddenly, her look of glee turned into an uninterested frown
  2742. >She raised a brow as she put your money in her pocket
  2743. "You have to pay me back--"
  2744. >"With the amount of money we make? Easy--"
  2745. "As soon as you get your next paycheck."
  2746. >Her grimace grows stronger as her pupils shrink
  2747. >"As soon as--you must be kidding, right?"
  2748. >As soon as the feigned chuckle pasts, she attempts to look as sympathetic as she can
  2749. >"Y-You are kidding, right?"
  2750. >You only walk away, chuckling
  2751. "I mean, you /do/ want the money, right?"
  2752. >"Myles, you know I need--"
  2753. "You don't. You can give a small sum of your paycheck to me, if you really think that you need my money."
  2754. >She whimpers
  2755. "Besides, with as much money as you make, you won't miss it, right?"
  2756. >You make sure to sound as snide as you possibly can here
  2757. >One of the great things about her and her arguments, however, is how you get to turn it back at her
  2758. >Groaning, she obliges
  2759. >"Fine," she mutters something afterwards while going back into her room--
  2760. "If you're thinking about returning some of it to make your bill smaller, think again. You took what you took, Claire."
  2761. >"Fuck."
  2762. >You're sitting at the top of the staircase at this point, waiting for her to come back out
  2763. >Luckily, she comes back quickly
  2764. >So quickly that you're sure she didn't put anything back
  2765. >She walks past you and down the stairs, exiting without a word
  2766. >Cheekily, you wave to her
  2767. "Come back soon, Claire! And don't spend it all in once place, either!"
  2768. >She slams the front door
  2769. >Heh
  2770. >You stand, walking back into your room
  2771. >You actually hope she didn't steal too much
  2772. >That's vacation money right there
  2773. >Soon enough, you stand next to your bed
  2774. >Lifting up the mattress, you take the collection of cash from under it
  2775. >You quickly count it--holy fuck
  2776. >You can see why she didn't want to pay it back immediately
  2777. >She took way too fucking much
  2778. >The hell does she even need all that cash for, anyway?
  2779.  
  2780. >"MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A FUCKING SLAVE AGAIN, HAS THAT EVER PASSED YOUR STUPID MONKEY BRAIN!?"
  2781. "WH--..."
  2782. >Wait...
  2783. >What?
  2784. >Suddenly, you become a lot less tense than you were
  2785. >Slowly, you walk over to the angered griffon
  2786. "Gilda?"
  2787. >She turns away from you, her claws still balled
  2788. >You're definitely noting that for later
  2789. "I... I didn't realize that--"
  2790. >And she's gone
  2791. >She turned around and flew off in the opposite direction
  2792. >It's in the direction you two came in--thankfully
  2793. >But she doesn't know where she's going...
  2794. >You stare at her fly away, sighing
  2795. >Damn it
  2796. >Maybe you should've listened to him...
  2797. >You bolt off as well, running after her
  2798. >You don't know how you're gonna catch her--or if you're even gonna catch her
  2799. >But you're not gonna go home without her
  2800. >Things wouldn't go well if you did...
  2801.  
  2802. >NO!
  2803. >She's getting away!
  2804. >You can't see her anymore!
  2805. >Fucking
  2806. >FUCK
  2807. >Damn it, Claire!
  2808. >What the ever loving FUCK is wrong with you?
  2809. >You just let her get away, without a second thought!
  2810. >You didn't even bother to try to grab her wings or something
  2811. >You just watched as she flew off into the sky
  2812. >And now you're running around aimlessly with the hope that you'll actually find her
  2813. >Not to mention with a bunch of people staring at you as if you're a fucking mad man
  2814. >Fuck
  2815. >Your legs are getting tired
  2816. >You can't keep running like this--you'll pass out
  2817. >...
  2818. "FUCK!"
  2819. >And even more faces eye you, with some people even covering their children's ears
  2820. >Oh good, just what you needed
  2821. >Not only have you lost Gilda, but you also have people thinking you're fucking mad
  2822. >Wonderful
  2823. >While trying to ignore the glares, you slow down to a trot--fuck
  2824. >You probably shouldn't use the word "trot"
  2825. >It reminds you too much of ponies, and by association, Gilda
  2826. >Which goes on to remind you how fucking idiotic you are for letting her fly away
  2827. >Why'd she have to go into town?
  2828. >Why'd you have to go and follow her?
  2829. >Why must you be so fucking retarded?
  2830. >God damn it
  2831. >For once in your life--no, it's more like the fifteenth time in your life
  2832. >You feel like crying
  2833. >In fact, you feel like breaking down right now on the sidewalk and balling out like a god damn child
  2834. >A hopeless, lost, and stupid child
  2835. >You just HAD to fucking lose the one thing Myles actually fucking cares about, huh?
  2836. >All because you just HAD to pester her
  2837. >Didn't he say something about that?
  2838. >About NOT pestering her?
  2839. >Even if he didn't, you're pretty fucking sure he would've
  2840. >He would say that it's bad to force her to open up or something like that
  2841. >Damn it
  2842. >Why are you so stupid?
  2843. >Why don't you--for fucking ONCE in your life--have some actual common fucking sense?
  2844. >If you did, things wouldn't be as bad as they are right now
  2845. >For one, you wouldn't have a fucking lost griffon on your hands
  2846. >And two, Myles wouldn't hate you--no
  2847. >No
  2848. >He--Ugh
  2849. >He doesn't hate you
  2850. >Sure, he probably finds you annoying
  2851. >But he doesn't hate you
  2852. >...
  2853. >You hope
  2854. >Just
  2855. >DAMN IT
  2856. >"What do you think you're doing!?"
  2857. >What?
  2858. >You look to your right--oh
  2859. >Well okay, looks like you almost punched a window in
  2860. >And somebody inside noticed
  2861. >Good thing it didn't break, though
  2862. >You wouldn't want to waste your cash on something as stupid as a broken window--wait
  2863. >You start to dig around in your pockets--fucking
  2864. >Immediately, you cringe at the feel of leather
  2865. >Just another fucking reminder of how retarded you are
  2866. >But, luckily for you, you can get rid of this reminder, thanks to the money you "borrowed" from Myles
  2867. >In fact, you can get rid of ANY of those stupid reminders, whether it be some stupid pun, or just somebody walking their pet down the street
  2868. >Their pony pets, to be specific
  2869. >Although, after what Gilda said earlier--plus the dialogue from that fedora-fuck--you can't help but look at these ponies in a new light
  2870. >...
  2871. >Although, with today being the first day you've really ever seen these ponies walking about, your opinion isn't changed much
  2872. >These guys are still new, after all
  2873. >You think
  2874. >Only a couple people really have these things, yourself includ--FUCK
  2875. >Never mind about being included
  2876. >Since, you lost yours--Myles'
  2877. >Wait...
  2878.  
  2879. >"You seeing it my way, now?"
  2880. "Yeah, yeah."
  2881. >"Good. Then why don't you do the honors, then?"
  2882. >Wait what
  2883. >Myles holds out the five twenties he was going to give the vendor earlier
  2884. >...
  2885. >Why does he want you to buy her?
  2886. >You're still reluctant to even have her, despite his points
  2887. >You'd rather him buy her himself
  2888. >Then you won't feel guilt when you ignore her
  2889. >Or if something stupid happens to her
  2890. >Because she's not yours, technically
  2891. >She's his
  2892. >But with this
  2893. >It's making her yours
  2894.  
  2895. >Was that a teardrop?
  2896. >You think you felt a tear roll down your cheek
  2897. >You're a fucking idiot
  2898. >You lost her
  2899. >She's fucking gone
  2900. >And, she was actually /yours/
  2901. >And, you actually started to like--okay
  2902. >Okay
  2903. >The point you were trying to make before is that you're going to get drunk
  2904. >Wasted drunk
  2905. >Ten shots of 96% proof alcohol drunk
  2906. >Or, maybe if you're feeling reasonable, you'll have like
  2907. >A drink
  2908. >Probably
  2909. >Then your mind'll be cleared enough for you to competently look for Gilda
  2910. >Or, you could always ask Myles for hel--holy fuck no
  2911. >That's the stupidest idea you've had all day
  2912. >He'll just yell at you for losing her, and chastise you for being the fuckhole that you are
  2913. >Smart thinking, Claire
  2914. >God
  2915. >Yeah, you're just gonna stick with plan A
  2916. >Drink until you don't feel like a moron anymore
  2917. >...
  2918. >Holy fuck you're pathetic
  2919. >Is that really your smartest fucking plan?
  2920. >Drinking until you're blind as a bat?!
  2921. >You can't even be bothered to think up of something better than that
  2922. >No
  2923. >You just decide to drink and drink and drink until you're black out drunk
  2924. >You've never even BEEN blackout drunk before!
  2925. >What if something happens?!
  2926. >Fuck, you could die if you drink too much!
  2927. >...
  2928. >Wait, that's a problem?
  2929. >If you're dead, then you wouldn't even have to worry about finding that dumb piece-of-shit named Gilda
  2930. >And if you're in such a stupor that you actually believe that you're smart, then you could just find her in a second
  2931. >Easy!
  2932. >...
  2933. >Yeah, you really are fucking pathetic
  2934. >If you die, then Myles'll be crying at your funeral
  2935. >If you get stupid drunk, then you'll just get hit by a car
  2936. >Or you could always end up in somebody's bed and end up a two-bit whore--okay
  2937. >Okay
  2938. >You probably shouldn't think of the consequences
  2939. >Just look for a bar to get wasted in
  2940. >That can't be hard, right?
  2941. >Actually, with how early it is, it's probably gonna be near impossible for you to find anything at all
  2942. >After what feels to be another hour of walking, you end up finding your safe haven
  2943. >A bar called "Lenny's Liquor"
  2944. >Sounds inviting enough
  2945. >Slumping inside--actually, have you been slumping this entire time? You've only just now noticed it, if you have
  2946. >That might explain the stares from strangers a bit more
  2947. >But yeah, you slump inside and sit at a stool
  2948. >As you sigh, you alert the attention of a bartender
  2949. >Who you can only assume is this "Lenny" guy
  2950. >He glances at you, curiously
  2951. >He's currently doing whatever one would expect a damn bartender to be doing--cleaning a mug out
  2952. >Why does it seem like every single bartender in the world does this whenever you enter a bar?
  2953. >Well, that's besides the point
  2954. >Now's not the time to be complaining about that
  2955. >He speaks to you with slight concern
  2956. >Or maybe that's just confusion--honestly you can't really tell
  2957. >"What ch'all doin' here so early, Miss? The bar don't really get customers 'till 'leven."
  2958. >Is that...
  2959. >Is that a fucking country accent?
  2960. >You don't even answer him
  2961. >Not because you're notably depressed--actually that's a lie
  2962. >That's mostly why you're not talking to him
  2963. >But that fucking accent
  2964. >You don't have anything against it
  2965. >It's just...
  2966. >Quee--Fuck
  2967. >Again with the reminders
  2968. >It's /weird/ to hear somebody from here talking like a hick
  2969. >Ignoring him, you rest your head on the bar
  2970. >Now it's his turn to sigh
  2971. >He looks nice enough, honestly
  2972. >Nice mustache, tan skin
  2973. >Black and white attire--although, it's casual
  2974. >You don't expect anything less from a bar
  2975. >It makes you feel kinda bad that you're ignoring him like this
  2976. >If he ends up saying something again, you'll answer
  2977. >It'll make the time go by faster--FUCKING
  2978. >Okay, you need a fucking drink
  2979. >And like, now--
  2980. >"Y'all just lemme know when ya need something--if y'all're just here to sleep, however, then ya might wanna go down the road to tha library."
  2981. >Hey, he's kind of funny, seeing as how he just made you titter ever so slightly
  2982. >...
  2983. >Although, your sense of humor is kind of skewered from a normal person's
  2984. >It's not that anything happened to you
  2985. >You just tend to like the stupid unfunny shit a lot more than the actually funny shit
  2986. >You sigh halfheartedly
  2987. "Just get me something strong, will ya?"
  2988. >"Lenny" raises a brow at you
  2989. >"How strong?"
  2990. "Kill me."
  2991. >His eyes widened
  2992. >Then, he chuckled
  2993. >Did he think this was a joke?
  2994. >Soon after his chuckling ends, you shut your eyes
  2995. >You assume that he made a "oh shit she's serious" face at you
  2996. >You assume this because after a second, you can hear water running--okay
  2997. >That's probably not water
  2998. >But, you can hear that, and some mixing
  2999. >After a minute or so, a shot glass is plopped right next to your face
  3000. >"Here."
  3001. >Lifting your head like it's a boulder, you sigh once more
  3002. >If you sigh again you can make a wish!
  3003. >Fuck, what the hell is wrong with you?
  3004. >Picking up the glass--nope
  3005. >You set it back down when he gives you a look
  3006. >A look of interest, in fact
  3007. >Resting his elbows on the bar, he speaks
  3008. >"Tell me, though--what happened?"
  3009. "What do you mean 'what happened'?"
  3010. >"Well, most of mah customers don't just roll up in here and ask for the strongest we got."
  3011. "I didn't /ask/ for the strongest you have."
  3012. >"So I can only assume 'kill me' doesn't mean that, huh?"
  3013. >You just groan, drinking the shot in one hefty gulp
  3014. >Soon after, you cough up a damn storm
  3015. >Fuck, it burns
  3016. >"Haven't had many strong drinks like that before, 'eh?"
  3017. "I've been drunk before."
  3018. >"That's ain't what I asked."
  3019. >Scrunching up your face, you slam the shot glass back on the bar table
  3020. >"Y'all look troubled, if I don't say so mahself. If you're gonna be here a long time, ya might as well start talkin'."
  3021. >You cringe
  3022. >What is that--three instances of that fucking line today?
  3023. "Fine."
  3024. >It takes you a moment, but you do end up speaking
  3025. "You've heard of those "Pony Pets", right?"
  3026. >"Heh, heard of 'em? I got one mahself!"
  3027. >...
  3028. >Suddenly, you're interested
  3029. "Really, now?"
  3030. >He talks while making an assortment of shots
  3031. >Normally, you'd call this kind of behavior out, but who are you really kidding here?
  3032. >They're gonna be gone in less than a second anyway
  3033. >"Yeah--just got her today, too. She's a real hoot, y'know?"
  3034. >You nod as he passes another shot to you
  3035. "What's her name?"
  3036. >You down the shot--Fuck
  3037. >This isn't gonna get any better, is it?
  3038. >God, your throat hurts
  3039. >But, you try to make the pain not as noticeable as the first time
  3040. >"Applejack. She's a real country gal--kinda like me."
  3041. >He chuckles
  3042. >"Well, I guess I ain't a country gal, but y'all know what I mean."
  3043. >Applejack
  3044. >Huh
  3045. >Sounds famili--wait
  3046. >Applejack?
  3047. >Suddenly, her picture flashes back in your head
  3048. >An orange pony with a brown hat and blonde hair, with that stupid apple butt-tattoo
  3049. >The pony you were SUPPOSED to get
  3050. >But of course, you had to get Gilda
  3051. >The stupid fuck
  3052. >And she's lost out there now, gone
  3053. >Probably forever
  3054. >Again, you cringe as you mutter to yourself
  3055. "She was supposed to be /mine/."
  3056. >"What was that?"
  3057. "Nothing, nothing--sorry."
  3058. >"Don't be. You're the one with problems here, not me."
  3059. >Ain't he understanding?
  3060. >"Go 'head, continue. Sorry if I interrupted ya."
  3061. "No, no, it's fine. My story's pretty dumb, anyway."
  3062. >"Well, that's for me ta judge. Go on."
  3063. >Nodding, you continue
  3064. "I got one today--me and my friend, actually."
  3065. >Another shot is plopped in front of you
  3066. >You down it quickly
  3067. >This one burns even worse
  3068. >Shaking your head, you sigh
  3069. >"And?"
  3070. >You rest your head on the table again
  3071. "Like I said, it's a pretty dumb story."
  3072.  
  3073.  
  3074. >Your fingers tap anxiously on the wooden table
  3075. >Three plates sit at various spots on it
  3076. >One where you are
  3077. >One across from you
  3078. >And another adjacent
  3079. >By now, the food on these plates has gotten cold
  3080. >It's been hours since you've finished lunch
  3081. >And yet
  3082. >Nobody came
  3083. >Not a single soul
  3084. >You expected Claire and Gilda to be back by now
  3085. >In fact, you expected them to be back well before now
  3086. >But yet
  3087. >Nobody came
  3088. >It's like they got lost or something
  3089. >Best case scenario: Gilda and Claire are simply having the times of their lives right now
  3090. >And they just forgot to come back
  3091. >And if this is the case, then you couldn't be happier for them
  3092. >The whole point of sending them out there in the first place was to get them to like each other
  3093. >Or, at least tolerate
  3094. >But
  3095. >You know that could very well not be the case here at all
  3096. >Something terrible could've happened
  3097. >The worst case scenario
  3098. >...
  3099. >You shudder at the thought
  3100. >Neither of them are that stupid
  3101. >Well
  3102. >You can't be too sure about Gilda
  3103. >Claire, you can
  3104. >Because you've known her longer
  3105. >Gilda, though?
  3106. >You groan
  3107. >She may seem strong
  3108. >But you're sure that's just a façade
  3109. >In reality, Gilda could possibly be as weak as a baby flower
  3110. >Mentally /and/ physically
  3111. >While you haven't exactly seen her physical strength, if it's anything like her mental...
  3112. >Again, you shudder
  3113. >This could possibly be why you're so worried
  3114. >Not only have they been gone since--what, nine AM?
  3115. >But just...
  3116. >The fact that you sent out somebody who can barely take care of herself with somebody who you don't even fucking KNOW if they can or not...
  3117. >You stop tapping
  3118. >Silence enters it's way to your home
  3119. >...
  3120. >And it fucking hurts
  3121. >God, you fucking hate silence
  3122. >You stand out of your chair, picking up your plate
  3123. >Still full of food
  3124. >As are the other two
  3125. >You decide to walk towards the garbage can and dump your food there
  3126. >Then, you trot over to the cabinets and grab some aluminum foil
  3127. >And then walk back to the table with the foil in hand
  3128. >Once there, you wrap up the other plates and put them in the fridge
  3129. >At least the sounds of your footsteps are keeping the silence away
  3130. >You make your way past the living room, making sure to head to her room instead
  3131. >Once there, you get to your bed and look under it
  3132. >Under your bed is a laptop--an old one, in fact
  3133. >You've been using this thing for as long as you can remember
  3134. >Windows Vista hasn't failed you yet
  3135. >Grabbing the laptop, you make your way back downstairs and plop yourself on the couch
  3136. >A yawn forces its way through your throat
  3137. >So, you open the laptop, log-in, load up Firefox and head on to Google
  3138. >...
  3139. >Honestly, you don't even know what to do on this thing
  3140. >You haven't used it in a while, since you really don't need it
  3141. >The computer you have at work works well enough for your needs
  3142. >And even then, you don't use that one all that much, either
  3143. >You really only use it for keeping track of which patient you have an appointment with, or for keeping track of how much money you've got saved up still
  3144. >Which, granted, is a lot
  3145. >But you'll never use it
  3146. >Except for maybe a charity, or something
  3147. >Everybody knows you don't deserve that much money, anyway
  3148. >Honestly, you've even thought about giving some of it away to your patients
  3149. >With how shitty their lives are, lord knows they need it a lot more than you do
  3150. >And really, what's stopping you?
  3151. >The higher ups?
  3152. >They're already getting paid a ton
  3153. >And the money you've got saved up is /yours/
  3154. >Then again, if your patients have enough money to pay for a therapist in the first place, they really don't need much more of it
  3155. >Maybe you should start asking if they'd like to have some of it or not--Ugh
  3156. >You should really stop thinking about work
  3157. >It's the weekend, for christ's sake
  3158. >What do you even have to worry about?
  3159. >...Ironically enough, your hands instinctively wrote "Gilda" in the search bar
  3160. >You sit at that word for a moment and watch as the cursor blinks rhythmically at the end of it
  3161. >Finally, you end up pressing "enter"
  3162. "...Huh."
  3163. >Apparently "Gilda" is a movie
  3164. >Note to self: watch this later
  3165. >Although, this has got you thinking about earlier
  3166. >Mostly about what she /said/
  3167. >Or, maybe what she /didn't/ say
  3168. >There's still a bunch of questions left unanswered from earlier that you'd love to know the answer to
  3169. >Like, Gilda's past
  3170. >Gilda's parents
  3171. >What happened to her?
  3172. >How'd she end up this way?
  3173. >And, even further into the past
  3174. >What the hell was up with that building?
  3175. >Why was everyone there sleeping?
  3176. >Why was Gilda the odd one out?
  3177. >Sure, you and Claire were told that she was a bad pet and everything
  3178. >But there's no way every other thing there was an angel
  3179. >It really just doesn't make sense, now that you think about it
  3180. >...
  3181. >Google should probably know the answer to one of these questions
  3182. >But, you should be more general with your search
  3183. >You wouldn't get a direct answer if you simply searched "why is gilda a bad griffon"
  3184. >So, you search up "Pony Pet"--oh
  3185. >Google decides to be your friend and immediately puts in "Pony Pet Slave Trade" as one of the many automatic fill-in options
  3186. >This is the /first/ option, in fact
  3187. >You don't even bother looking at anything else as you hit "enter"
  3188. >And the first link is a news article
  3189. >Headline: "Are Ponies going to cause World War III?"
  3190. >...
  3191. >You never thought you'd actually see those words used in a sentence together before today
  3192. >Clicking on the article brings you to the Daily Mail, something you've never heard of before today
  3193. >That's twice in a day
  3194. >You skim over the article, and from it, you learn a couple interesting facts
  3195. >For one, it's not just America that has technicolor ponies--places like Japan and Egypt have ponies of their own, too
  3196. >Apparently any place you could possibly go to has a damn pony of some kind
  3197. >Which is interesting
  3198. >Another thing you figured out--these ponies aren't new
  3199. >Apparently people have had ponies for at least three years now
  3200. >They've just been kept in secret
  3201. >...Which brings you to why this relates to your Google search in the first place
  3202. >Most of the ponies either are, or have been, slaves
  3203. >In fact, it seems like the "pet" thing is just so people don't freak out about owning a slave
  3204. >And it seems like the "pet" thing is pretty recent as well
  3205. >Honestly, this makes things make a lot more sense
  3206. >Questions like "why does she call you master?" and "how could she be so bad?" are actually answered now
  3207. >She was trained into calling you that
  3208. >And, she wasn't /bad/
  3209. >Just disobedient
  3210. >This would explain why she got mad at Claire--she doesn't like to take orders
  3211. >And of course, she was getting hit in the face with cereal
  3212. >That's not terribly pleasant
  3213. >All of this /also/ explains why you haven't seen these guys before today
  3214. >They just weren't mainstream before now
  3215. "'These ponies have been very popular with people who either wanted a more intelligent pet, or people who wanted someone to do their hard work for them.'"
  3216. >...
  3217. "There goes that idea."
  3218. >So maybe you're just late to the party
  3219. >You and about a thousand other people
  3220. >Getting back on track, you can't help but notice that the damn title of the article doesn't correlate at all to the actual content shown
  3221. >But you will admit that it gave you some interesting information
  3222. >After you're done reading, you back out of the page and begin searching on Google again
  3223. >And you search
  3224. >And search
  3225. >And /search/
  3226. >You swear, you searched for about an hour for anything /new/
  3227. >But alas, nothing
  3228. >Nothing at all
  3229. >Well
  3230. >You can't say "nothing"
  3231. >Through rigorous searching, you managed to find something of note
  3232. >A group that's actually set on getting these ponies out of trouble
  3233. >Well, getting the ones /in/ trouble out of it, anyway
  3234. >And into places reminiscent of "home"
  3235. >An organization that offers ponies freedom and generosity--
  3236. "O-P Fag? The hell?"
  3237. >Okay, so the acronym needs work
  3238. >But seemingly, the organization is doing some good
  3239. >It's getting these hurt ponies away from their "masters" and sending them somewhere else
  3240. >/Where/, exactly?
  3241. >You can't be sure--this forum post doesn't say
  3242. >All it does is advertise the thing and says that if anybody has any tips, or if someone wanted to help, then they're free to call that number and contact them
  3243. >This could be interesting
  3244. >For later
  3245. >This has no use for you, right now
  3246. >Especially since Gilda's not even with you
  3247. >And especially since you /know/ you're not gonna treat Gilda like she's some slave
  3248. >But, you should keep the number in mind
  3249. >Just in case you ever feel like you'll need it
  3250. >You /might/ need it
  3251. >But you can't be sure right now
  3252. >...
  3253. >Suddenly, you feel drowsy
  3254. >A lot more drowsy than earlier, at least
  3255. >You guess now could be a good time to take a nap
  3256. >You probably need it, too
  3257. >Close the laptop, Myles
  3258. >Place it at the side of the couch, Myles
  3259. >Good boy!
  3260. >...
  3261. >You need to stop hanging around Claire
  3262. >Or at least, tell her to stop with that doggy shit
  3263. >You're getting infected with it
  3264. >You make yourself comfortable--er
  3265. >At least, as comfortable as you possibly can with those two still out
  3266. >Your insecurities won't get the best of you, though
  3267. >They're fine
  3268. >They /have/ to be
  3269. >It's just Claire and Gilda
  3270. >They can take care of their selves...
  3271. >Right?
  3272.  
  3273.  
  3274. >"I... I didn't realize that--"
  3275. >Damn it
  3276. >You don't let her see your weakness
  3277. >Instead, you fly off
  3278. >You fly as fast as you possibly can
  3279. >Just so you can get away
  3280. >Get far, far away
  3281. >Away from her
  3282. >Away from these stupid fucking humans
  3283. >Away from your Master
  3284. >T-They're all good-for-nothin's anyway
  3285. >Bastards, the lot of them!
  3286. >You'll fly away
  3287. >Fly somewhere /safe/
  3288.  
  3289. >You know how you were talking about flying away about five hours ago?
  3290. >Yeah, that was a terrible idea
  3291. >An awful and terrible idea
  3292. >Like, holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you
  3293. >Because now you're in an alleyway
  3294. >An alleyway with a dirty homeless guy
  3295. >You try to keep your distance from him, but he insists that he put his grubby little /fingers/ on you
  3296. >His dirty, disgusting fingers
  3297. >He wants to touch your wings
  3298. >He wants to pet you
  3299. >And you want to fucking claw him
  3300. >Of course, you can't do this
  3301. >If you did, then you'd definitely be killed
  3302. >Or, "put-down", as the humans say it
  3303. >You've pretty much--
  3304. "Fuck off, dirtbag!"
  3305. >Okay, he's getting /way/ too close for comfort
  3306. >Your wings start to flap as you hover above the ground
  3307. >Not too much above the ground, though
  3308. >If you did that then you'd be in even /deeper/ shit
  3309. >Somebody would find you
  3310. >Then they'd take you back to that disgusting "shop"
  3311. >And if he found out you escaped again, you'd definitely be killed
  3312. >Humans don't like disobedient creatures
  3313. >They just want everybody to--
  3314. "Didn't I tell you to fuck off?"
  3315. >You start to float further away from the creep, but the sun now hitting your back is worrisome
  3316. >Sun means civilization
  3317. >Civilization means scumbag humans
  3318. >Scumbag humans means getting captured
  3319. >And getting captured means /death/
  3320. >So, you quickly fly over him and dash to the other side of the alleyway
  3321. >Then you stop floating and just sit behind a dumpster
  3322. >Out of sight, out of mind, right?
  3323. >You can't help but hope the monkey follows this line of thought
  3324. >Just so he can stop insisting on touching you
  3325. >You may not be clean, but you're certainly cleaner than /him/
  3326. >Actually, this thought gets you irritated
  3327. >Did that stupid fuck of a Master really not think of cleaning you first?
  3328. >You hate being dirty
  3329. >Although, honestly, you weren't even thinking of a bath when you were first picked out by him
  3330. >You weren't really thinking much at all, actually
  3331. >Maybe some small hopes that this one would be different
  3332. >But you shouldn't even have those hopes at this point--Fuck
  3333. >You rid your head of these thoughts
  3334. >And immediately replace them with something actually worse
  3335. >The war
  3336. >How in the hell did you do that?
  3337. >God damn it
  3338. >Yeah, yeah, you fought in that stupid war
  3339. >Everybody but the damn kids did
  3340. >But when that war was mostly lost, you had to hide
  3341. >Everybody did
  3342. >There was fucking death on the line
  3343. >Or, at least, everybody /thought/ it was death
  3344. >Because not a damn soul returned
  3345. >But obviously, now you know that it wasn't something so forgiving
  3346. >It was a fate worse than death filled with torture and dirtbags as far as the eye can see
  3347. >Dirtbags that have killed your friends
  3348. >Your family
  3349. >And... Okay, you would say "yourself", too
  3350. >But that's simply not the case
  3351. >Because you're not gonna bend over for these assholes
  3352. >Both literally and figuratively
  3353. >You're unbreakable
  3354. >Stronger than Dash could ever be
  3355. >Not susceptible to any stupid sympathies these fuckers throw at you
  3356. >They act like they care
  3357. >They act like they want to actually help you for once
  3358. >Help you get off this stupid rock and go /home/
  3359. >But once they gain your trust--
  3360. >Your claw grabs the human's hand as soon as it reaches for you
  3361. >And you do everything in your power to not dig your claws into it
  3362. >Which is actually kind of hard, seeing as how you want to fucking murder this guy
  3363. >Soon enough, however, you let go of him
  3364. >Then, you give him an eagle stare, looking directly in his eyes
  3365. "Fuck. Off."
  3366. >You think the scumbag decided that he'd rather /not/ die today, because he bolted off faster than any pony you've seen before
  3367. >Cross the street and everything
  3368. >Sadly enough, he didn't get hit by one of those short trains
  3369. >Humans call 'em cars, you think
  3370. >Eh, whatever
  3371. >You'll still call 'em trains
  3372. >They act like trains, look like trains
  3373. >They're just smaller
  3374. >Which you'll give the humans /some/ credit for--they actually made it possibly to ride in a train without the hassle of a train
  3375. >Speaking of humans, you notice a couple looking your way
  3376. >Shit
  3377. >Without a second thought, you jump inside the dumpster to hide yourself from them
  3378. >You would really rather /not/ be see--OH GOD
  3379. >THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA
  3380. >That's twice in a fucking day now
  3381. >God damn it, you smell even worse than you did just ten seconds ago
  3382. >And so does this fucking dumpster!
  3383. >Should've expected as much, though--it's a damn dumpster
  3384. >It ain't gonna smell like peaches and daises
  3385. >Taking a quick whiff--oh fuck
  3386. >You're gonna vomit
  3387. >This is such a mix of disgusting smells that you honestly can't take it
  3388. >Why did you think coming in here was a good idea?
  3389. >What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?
  3390. >After what you believe to be a full fucking minute of gagging, you force yourself out of the shithole
  3391. >And you don't actually land on your feet
  3392. >No, you land on your face
  3393. >Because you're an /acrobat/
  3394. >Ugh
  3395. >Taking a moment to stand, you shake off all the trash you can
  3396. >Although some of it has probably stained your fur and feathers, so that can't be helped
  3397. >As a note, the sun still shines bright
  3398. >Which means you can't do anything
  3399. >Anything other than wait, anyway
  3400. >Because you're not going out in the light with all these humans around
  3401. >They've seen what you've done
  3402. >They /know/ what you've done
  3403. >You can't escape these fuckers, no matter how hard you try
  3404. >Even if your current Master seems like an okay guy
  3405. >Even if you can relate to his stupid friend more than you'd like to admit
  3406. >They're just out to hurt you
  3407. >They're only in it for their selves
  3408. >And honestly, you should too
  3409. >Trying to play nice with the humans never works
  3410. >In fact, trying to play nice with /anybody/ is just a setup for failure
  3411. >Just look at everybody you've met
  3412. >They've either died, or they've betrayed you
  3413. >They've left you for dead
  3414. >Left you to be sold by those bastards, again and again
  3415. >You walk behind the dumpster once more, trying to clean off the shit on your wings in the process
  3416. >At least you're not the auctions anymore
  3417. >You haven't been in an auction in a couple years now
  3418. >But this damn "Pony Pet" store bullshit isn't exactly much better
  3419. >Sure, there's a bed there
  3420. >But that's about it
  3421. >Everything else is the same
  3422. >Fuck
  3423. >You don't wanna go back to that shithole
  3424. >You don't wanna go back to /any/ shithole
  3425. >Especially the shithole behind you
  3426. >You just want to be free
  3427. >No orders
  3428. >No beatings
  3429. >Just your old life again
  3430. >Where you could cook pastries for people you cared about
  3431. >And show off to the little kids
  3432. >And not have to worry about getting beaten every time you fucked up by your Master
  3433. >You start to ball up your claws once more
  3434. >Sure, it wasn't a meaningful life
  3435. >But god damn it, it was /yours/
  3436. >And you fucking /enjoyed/ it, too
  3437. >Your eyes shut tight as your wings fold in place
  3438. >You hate this place
  3439. >You hate the humans
  3440. >You hate how they treat you
  3441. >You hate how they treat your friends
  3442. >You fucking hate everything about this stupid place!
  3443. >Why did this have to happen to /you/?
  3444. >Why couldn't it have been some other poor unlucky fucks?
  3445. >Why'd it have to be you?
  3446. >Instinctively, you start to lie down on the floor
  3447. >Your head feels heavy as you do this--as if it weighs a fucking ton
  3448. >It feels like it's the first thing to touch the ground
  3449. >Fuck
  3450. >A tear starts to fall from your eye
  3451. >A sigh escapes your throat
  3452. >You just...
  3453. >You just wanna go home

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