The tale of thief anon, by Stonewall Jackson


                                            [Copied from https://pastebin.com/57zva1Ak]


                                            >Be Anon

                                            > And also be on a high school field trip.

                                            >Because some fucker won a contest for the school.

                                            >So here you are sitting on a bench eating whatever you can find can find.

                                            >Looking around you see random people playing rigged fair games and riding rides and generally having fun.

                                            >None of them were really concerned with you.

                                            >And you were generally not interested in the rides or games considering you were fat ass broke.

                                            >”No Sarah you can’t have that teddy bear”You hear someone yell

                                            >”But daddy I WANT IT!”

                                            >You look over at the noise with an ounce of annoyance then you notice a man with a small child

                                            >And when you take a second look at the father you see that the fucker had a hundred dollar bill just hanging out of his pocket.

                                            “What a dumbass” You sigh with a small grin forming on your face.

                                            >And you look around to make sure no one is looking or watching you and to make sure the father was still occupied with the brat.

                                            >So carefully you get your thief skills on and approach the man.

                                            >And couple of seconds later and you have the money.

                                            >And then you quickly fled the scene.

                                            >This would most likely be one of the easier heists you committed.

                                            >And with new found cash you explore the fair with new found possibilities.

                                            (And the tale of Theft anon begins)


                                            >As you walk around the fair you look at all the things that might interest you.

                                            >As you walk you then see something you weren’t expecting a game booth completely filled with cages.

                                            >You would of thought they were rabbit cages but something was different.

                                            >These cages were too big and but you couldn’t look in to see what it was.

                                            >Because someone covered them up with a tarp and a sticky note saying “You win,you find out what is in here”

                                            >”Hey kid you wanna try your luck” you hear the Carnival game owner say as he broke you from your thoughts.

                                            “Sure how much” You reply

                                            >He chuckles a little as he says “five dollars”

                                            >Pulling out your dirty hundred you ask

                                            “Got any change for a hundred”You ask hoping a that little he does.

                                            >“Sure do kid” he says as he literally pulls out a huge fucking money bag probably filled with other people's money.

                                            >As he hands you the change in a sealed envelope in one hand he also hands you three hard baseballs in the other hand.

                                            >The your dumbass self finally noticed that this was a "Throw a ball at the milk bottle game".

                                            >Then the man moves out of the way and allows you to take a throw.

                                            ”Good thing you work out”you sigh.


                                            >Throw one, You knock them all down.

                                            >You were already expecting them to be filled with something so it was no problem.

                                            >Throw two,You got lucky plain and simple these were higher than the rest and fell on each other.

                                            >And as for the last one there was tape on them sticking them together.

                                            >So with your exercise enhanced throwing arm you threw with all your strength. *BANK*

                                            >They all fell down and one of them broke.

                                            >”YE-HAWW” The both owner yells scaring some children”Congrats kid you're the first one here to win something from my both”

                                            “Uhh thanks” you say

                                            >But before you say anything you notice him pulling down one of the tarps.

                                            >And now you are wondering what exactly you won.

                                            >And he pulls out something you weren't expecting a pony or more on the lines of one of those slave ponies….. yeah.

                                            >But truth be told you did kinda wanted one.

                                            >Then you hear the both owner say “Congrats kid have fun”as he hands it to you

                                            ”Well…...I guess this trip wasn’t shit after all” you say in your head with a smirk.

                                            (That’s all folks for today more tomorrow haven’t done this before so criticism is welcome)


                                            >“You’ll also need this” He said as he places a satchel on the stand where the baseballs go.

                                            “What’s in it”You ask

                                            >”Well it’s anything this kind of pony would need like for example magic suppression Pills,Leash,pony soap and a comb”He calmly explains.

                                            “Why the hell are you giving me all this” you ask

                                            >“Simple kid let me give you a little secret,Like I said you're the first one here to win something from my booth Big risk equals big reward and since no one ever wins I can invest more into the rewards that they will most likely never win"

                                            "But won't people catch on" you ask.

                                            >"You would think that but that won't keep them from trying...my guess is that people like worse odds is all I can say"

                                            >You were about to ask another question but before you can the both owner says "kid it was fun to talk to another like minded individual but I have a businesses to run....Oh and also there is already a collar on the horse so no need to worry about the leash laws".

                                            >Putting the satchel over your head and putting the pony back into your arms.

                                            >You wave goodbye to the both owner as you leave and go right back where it began the bench.


                                            >You begin examining the small hoarse you won....."Well it's grey obviously" you sarcastically thing to yourself and with that you also conclude that it also has a blond mane with a horn coming out.

                                            "What was that called again" you think out loud in a hushed tone "Fuck it i'll just google it" you say as you pull out your shitty iPhone

                                            "Siri what is a hoarse with a horn" *Ding Ding* "Here is what I found on the web for what is a hoarse with a horn"

                                            >But all that was pulled up was pony vs human war articles,pony auction locations and photos of other shit that you didn't want"

                                            >"Well that didn't work" you sigh

                                            >"Try asking it dumbass" you think to yourself

                                            >Y'know they can talk since you saw them talking on the news and other sources so asking wouldn't hurt.

                                            "Hello there" you ask like you were talking to a old friend

                                            >"......"

                                            >Deciding that it probably wasn't going to talk you so you decide to use your silver tongue the same silver tongue that help'd you out many times when you were in a mess with authority.

                                            "You know i'm not sure how staying silent is going to help anything....all it is going to do is is wast your and my time"

                                            >".......what do you want"you hear her say  " Well I'll be dammed it worked!"you thing triumphantly

                                            "All I want to do is ask you some questions"you say with a smile while maintaining your silver tongue.

                                            >"Okay" it said "Oh fuck yeah you are good!"You think triumphantly.

                                            >Okay now you hit a dilemma what do you ask her now....hhhmmmm a name couldn't hurt I guess

                                            "So what's your name" You ask


                                            >Be Dinky

                                            >You were enslaved and because of that you are now a slave

                                            >And for the duration of the time you were a slave you have been put into cage after cage and now that you are out of the cage and into the captivity of another "human".

                                            The human that was carrying you has just sat you down and began to immediately sit next to you and at first you tried to play the silent game but it failed after the human convinced you to talk surprisingly.

                                            "What's your name" you ask stubbornly trying to maintain your stubbornness

                                            >"I asked first and it's anonymous but people just call me anon for short."

                                            >"Huh a straight answer for once you don't get those much anymore especially from there kind."

                                            "It's dinky"

                                            >"Hmm nice name" anon states

                                            "Thanks" I say loosing the stubbornness of my voice deciding it's not worth the effort to keep up this charade anymore.

                                            >"So....how are you"Anon says

                                            >Did he seriously ask that .....is he serious I'm a damn slave what do you expect

                                            "I'm a slave what do you expect"

                                            >"I honestly don't know any questions to ask" he says shrugging

                                            "Well if your not asking questions then let me ask a few"you state matter-of-factly.

                                            >"Okay then ask away" he states in a tone of voice you couldn't make out.

                                            "What are you doing here" you ask even if you weren't interested but it's been a while since you could talk freely like this.

                                            >"Well i'm actually here on a high school field trip" he states

                                            "Really your in high school....how old are you"you ask

                                            >"Well i'm currently seventeen but since were on the topic of age how old are you?" he answers with a question sounding sarcastically smug.

                                            "Well judging from your human calender's to equestrian I would guess.....sixteen"

                                            >"Damn man you'd probably be a grade lower than me if we were the same species"

                                            "Shit happens" is all you can say as you see him open his small human eyes in surprise.

                                            >"Holy shit didn't take your kind for cursing"He said with a smirk

                                            "Well you learn a few new words after being in this kind of place"you say while raising your hooves for enthesis.


                                            >Be anon and you were running out of things to ask her.

                                            "So....you want something" you ask

                                            >"Well my freedom would be nice but since that's off the table got anything to snack on?"

                                            >Truth be told you wen't very hungry thanks to the mandatory school lunch and random food you stole at the carnival but maybe there is something in the satchel.

                                            >magic suppression Pills,Leash,soap,comb and even a fucking how to book about ponies and other shit but no food.

                                            >Remembering back you remember there being a documentary about this kind of shit but all you can remember is that they can't eat meat.

                                            >So finally you decided to put your thief skills to the test and look around

                                            >then you spotted it.

                                            >It seemed that a family brought a big ass bowel of salad to the carnival and just left it sitting there and looking over you could see that they were getting in a indoor ride...."fucking hippies" you say grinning

                                            "What?" you hear dinky say "Oh it's nothing forget it...Hey could you sit here for a minuet I'm just gonna get you something so you don't starve to death"

                                            >"Sure"

                                            "Hay hold my wallet and if anyone bothers you just show it and they will most likely leave"

                                            >"gotcha"

                                            >Walking a long distance away you see it and on further examination you see small groups of people scattered around the area.

                                            >Taking one final look around you go for it and lift the heavy container.

                                            >"Hey you what are you doing?"

                                            >looking around you see a small girl standing next to you and looking around you also see no one else has noticed.

                                            >Most likely won't take much to convince her not to call the cops or the other people.

                                            "Oh well you see little lady I work here and I haft to clean after the guests in order to get paid" you say in a British type voice to make her think your official.

                                            "Oh thank you mister" you hear her say as she walks away most likely to her parent or guardian.

                                            >Just as you pick up the big salad bowel you see a hefty twenty dollar bill.

                                            "Well I do work here" You say sarcastically out loud with a smile that the Grinch would be proud of.


                                            >Still anon

                                            >And this huge salad bowel is fucking heavy

                                            >"How much fucking salad do these people eat!" you think out loud

                                            >"Probably karma for all that shit I done and stole"you tiredly chuckle to yourself

                                            >So far your mission was successful and you are on your way back to the bench to give the salad to dinky

                                            >As you approach you see that she doesn't seem to be paying attention to anything "Meh..probably lost in thought" you think to yourself you could relate to how many times that happened to you.

                                            >As you get next to her you drop the salad on the bench with a resounding *THUD*

                                            >"What what?" you hear her say acting surprised

                                            >"Yeah that woke her up" You smugly think

                                            >"Wait you actually got me real food?" you hear her say

                                            >You were about to reply but before you can do so you see her immediately start gobbling up the produce

                                            >"Shit she was really Hungary" You think with a finger on your chin

                                            >"let's get a drink for her because if she's eating this much no telling in how thirsty she is" you reason with yourself

                                            >You then proceed to look around for a large water source

                                            "There we go" you slyly say to yourself

                                            >A little ways forward you can see a stand were the carnival staff are keeping large water cooler jugs and next to that you see a large red water pitcher.

                                            >"Perfect" you sight as you make your move.


                                            >Be dinky

                                            >And holy shit this is so good!

                                            >It's been so long since you ate a good meal.

                                            >When you woke up today you weren't expecting this to happen.

                                            >"Where did anon even get this......Who cares!" " you wonder while also thinking excitedly

                                            >You barley even notice anon when he walks up to you.

                                            >Deciding that you probably had enough you slowly raise your head to greet him.

                                            "Thanks" you say slightly tired

                                            >"Need something to drink?" you hear him say as he pours a large container of water into what appears to be a red pitcher.

                                            "Thanks man" you say as he gives you the pitcher.

                                            > By pressing both your hooves together you then proceed to try and lift the pitcher...success!

                                            >You celebrate your victory by getting fresh water for a change.


                                            >Be anon

                                            "So...You were hungry?"you ask

                                            >"You wouldn't believe it."you hear her say after finishing her drink.

                                            >You were gonna ask her another question but someone on a loud speaker started yelling "WE THANK EVERYONE WHO CAME TO THIS YEARS COUNTRY FAIR BUT IT SADDENS US ALL TO SAY THAT THE FAIR IS NOW CLOSED AND FOR ANY STUDENTS THAT CAME HERE TODAY PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR RIGHTFUL SCHOOL BUSES THANK YOU "

                                            >Well shit guess I better get on the bus.

                                            >Just as you pick up most of your shit and get in a walking pace you notice the obvious.

                                            >How are you gonna get a pony on the bus undetected so you think while looking around and then you notice there's a open locker with a leather coat and a big John Deer baseball cap in a it

                                            >Walking over you began taking them and walking over to a porta potty

                                            >You then put on the attire as a form of disguise.

                                            >Walking back to the bench you tell her "Follow me"

                                            >"Sure but why are you wearing that?" you hear her say

                                            "I'll tell you later just follow me" you explain as quickly as possible

                                            >So disguise and pony in toe you head to the far parking lot


                                            >Be dinky

                                            >And anon just asked you to follow him while wearing a completely different outfit

                                            >Of course you followed him because where else would you go.

                                            >And as you finally made it to what anon calls the "Parking lot".

                                            >Anon begins to giggle random vehicle doors.

                                            >"Jackpot" you hear anon yell as he opens one of the vehicle doors

                                            "What are you doing"you ask him in an annoyed tone.

                                            >"Scoring us a ride"He replied to me.

                                            "Fair enough" you say thinking this was anon's vehicle.

                                            >"Get in the passenger seat"

                                            "Why" you ask like a smart-ass

                                            >"Well if you ask I can't just leave my prize from the fair on the parking lot" he replied in a smart-ass tone

                                            "Oh fuck you" you say in a tired tone as you board the vehicle

                                            >"I’d fuck me, too" you hear anon say sarcastically with a smirk.

                                            >"HELP! Someone is stealing my truck"you hear sompony yell

                                            >"Oh hell you better hold on" you hear anon say

                                            >As you look over you see anon with a strait face and with a slight smirk as he stomps the pedal.


                                            >Be anon

                                            >And someone just cough you trying to steal a truck.

                                            >And after flooring the gas pedal you skidded for a second or two before finally taking off down the old country road.

                                            >Looking in the rear view mirror you can see that it was a obese Mexican guy that spotted you taking the truck.

                                            "Wait...What's that he's holding?" you curiously ask yourself as you look at him in the rear view mirror *BANG**BANG**BANG*

                                            >"Son of a bitch!" You yell to yourself

                                            >this may not be the first time you were shot at but it still startled you and your passenger.

                                            >You keep the gas pedal down to hopefully gain some distance between him and you.

                                            >five minuets later you decide that you are far enough and in the clear.

                                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G9mNBUymP8

                                            "Nothing is ever that easy" you sigh while thinking on what to do next.

                                            >"County sheriff if you do not pull over the vehicle I will be forced to use deadly force!"

                                            >"Oh hell no your not pulling over this damn vehicle" you yell

                                            >But as you say that you barley miss a couple of hitch hikers and then you ran over a dead tree in the road but luckily you dodged the hikers and you ran over the tree thanks to the truck's suspension but you can't say the same for the sheriff as you see him hit the dead tree in his tiny police cruiser.

                                            >Thinking of ways to get out of this situation you see a big dirt  ramp probably used by mortar bikes "Fuck it"you say as you stomp the gas pedal to the floor while you approach the ramp.


                                            >The truck roars as you jump the ramp.

                                            >Time seems to slow down as you and the truck are flying through the air.

                                            *BANG*

                                            >Pens and Cigarette Butts fly through the air as you finally make your landing on what you think is solid ground.

                                            >"Damn you were lucky" you think as you look around

                                            >Looking in the rear view mirror it looks like you jumped off a mountain and onto a different mountain.

                                            >"It seems that we finally lost the cops" you say to your companion as you put in the address to your next stop in you phone's GPS.

                                            "....Yeah" you hear her say as you continue driving

                                            >You decide to exchange some small talk with dinky but when you look at her you see that she is shaking like a leaf.

                                            "Hey are you alright"you ask with a concerned look on your face "Yes....this isn't the worst thing to happen to me ...but...It's just that I can't stop shaking"she says while sounding like she isn't sure and annoyed at the same time.

                                            >"Man you were to familiar with that feeling"you thing while remember the passenger of your father's DUI.

                                            "Just sleep it off you'll feel better in the morning"you state

                                            >after 30 minuets of listening to the radio and watching for the police you finally make it to your destination

                                            >a small thrift shop.

                                            "Hey dinky could you sit here for a moment I haft to open the door"you say as you begin unbuckling your seat belt.

                                            >"..."

                                            >"Hey do you hear me?" you ask as you look at her.

                                            >"Oh...she fell asleep" you realize

                                            >You quietly take the keys out of the ignition and lock the truck as you walk to the garage door


                                            "Daniel are you here"You yell hoping to gain the attention of the local mechanic

                                            >You hear rattling and the sound of tools falling to the ground as you see him emerge

                                            >"Anon is that you" you hear him say as he walks toward you

                                            "Yeah it's me"you say with a tired tone

                                            >"Well...What do you want this time"you hear his say.

                                            "I want you to change the appearance a little while changing the tags of a truck I got"you say quickly hoping to get this over with.

                                            >"It will take a quarter of HHHhhhmmmm let's say sixty bucks to change the appearance and the tags"he said while maintaining his stance

                                            "Really"you ask surprised that it would be so cheap

                                            >"yeah man call it a favor"

                                            "Okay"you say acting grateful but you were kinda afraid of What kind of favor this kind of guy would need.

                                            >"Just leave her here and it'll be done in a couple of days" you hear him say obviously referring to the truck outside.

                                            "Okay Daniel  I hear you loud and clear just let me get a couple of stuff out of the truck"you gratefully say as you hand him the keys.

                                            >"Sure just make it's quick I gotta start on this project as soon as possible"you hear him yell as you run out the door and towards the truck.

                                            >Picking up most of your shit wasn't a problem since all was you took was the satchel.

                                            >you had to grab dinky and put her on your shoulder since she was still sleeping.

                                            >It wasn't that hard considering she was like the size of a border collie.


                                            >"Recon what normal people are doing right now on a Friday night"you wonder out loud with a big grin"Probably playing video games,hanging with friends or even going on a date".

                                            >But not you.

                                            >Because currently you were walking home with a pony in your arms in the middle of the cold night.

                                            >You must of been quite a sight to see if it wasn't so dark

                                            >Looking back on your day you would of said that it was exiting

                                            >You won a pony at the fair,you outran the cops,you jumped off a mountain and got a good deal on a truck even if it is going to bite you on the ass later on.

                                            "Man" you sigh content with your current situation "I reckon what i'll do tomorrow" you say as you walk onto your street.


                                            (I hope I did better on my writing)


                                            >Upon reaching your house you immediately used your left hand to pull out your keys to unlock your front door because your right was currently trying to keep the pony on your shoulder from falling off.

                                            >After you unlock the door you use your left hand to open your door so you can go.

                                            >Tired beyond belief you simply drop dinky on the couch not even caring anymore while you take off the hat and coat you stole.

                                            >Not even bothering with the rest of your clothing you drooped dead on your bed where you instantly fell asleep not even caring that your front door was open.


                                            >*BEAP* *BEAP* *BOOP*

                                            "It's a Goddamn Saturday"you mutter as you slam the mute button on the alarm

                                            >Slowly you begin to awaken from your slumber feeling more and more sore as you do so.

                                            >You begin stretching as you get out your bed

                                            >After stretching you slowly begin your morning activities.

                                            >After eleven minuets of doing your morning routine witch mostly consisted of shiting,shaving and showering

                                            >You feel bright eyed and bushy tailed and you also feel ready to take on the day.

                                            >But first you need some breakfast.

                                            >Walking over to the kitchen you decide to have some butter toast to start off your day.

                                            >Grabbing the necessary ingredients what mostly consisted of toast,butter and a spoon.

                                            >You grab the toast and carefully begin spreading butter on the toast using the backside of the spoon you grabbed earlier.

                                            >When your finished smearing the butter you grab your ten year old toaster and stuff the piece of bread inside to cook.

                                            >It would most likely take a minute cooking so you went to your bedroom to chill with your desk computer.

                                            >Upon looking at your monitor you see that a tab on YouTube was still open.

                                            >Deciding to see what it was you decided to take a look to burn some time.

                                            >So you put on your headsets begin watching not sure what else to do to waste time.

                                            https://youtu.be/otcEXAE6rn0?t=1320


                                            >Be dinky

                                            >And you were starting to wake up

                                            >You start to heave and stretch as you awaken

                                            >After one yawn or two you finally open your eyes

                                            >But as you open them you were greeted with a far more foreign sight than you were used to.

                                            >"How did I get here" you wonder as you open your eyes

                                            >But as you began wondering this question it all comes back like a flash flood.

                                            >The fair,Anon and even the chase with the "cops" as anon called them

                                            >You were taken aback for a second or two before regaining your composer

                                            >Pushing everything that happened in the back of your mind you decide that you'll worry about that later

                                            >After your memory came back you eventually come to the conclusion that this may be anon's home

                                            >and with that reassuring thought you get up and begin exploring the strange home

                                            >After some minuets of looking around you eventually stumble upon what looks like anon's kitchen

                                            >looking around you soon see what looks like a toaster with smoke coming out the top

                                            "He's probably cooking something" you think as you approach

                                            >getting on your back hooves you reach your head over the counter

                                            >And you bite the toast that was poking out of the top of the toaster

                                            >And just as you get the toast you get back down and trot back to the room where you woke up

                                            >Just as you sit down you began thinking about anon your new "Master"

                                            "Of course you don't agree with the things anon did yesterday...but is did feel good seeing the human's getting what they deserved"You think to yourself

                                            >"After all the humans did take everything from me and many other ponies" you think aggressively convincing yourself while remembering all those other ponies at that auction five years ago

                                            >Just as you began to loose your cool you hear hoofsteps in the hallway

                                            >But just as you get is a defensive position Anon comes around the corner still wearing the same clothing he wore yesterday minus the hat and coat.

                                            >"Oh your awake"