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Musical Parodies/Shorts

By Hawkeye
Created: 7th March 2021 05:08:59 PM

  1. My Anon (My Maria)
  2.  
  3. >Be on vacation in Apploosa.
  4. >Taking in the sights,
  5. >Indulging in good country cooking,
  6. >Hitting up the casino over on the Buffalo Reservation,
  7. >All-in-all a good week so far.
  8. >You even bought yourself a black stetson and one of those giant belt buckles.
  9.  
  10. >Visiting a historic mission, from the first Apples to settle the area.
  11. >Suddenly the doors close behind you, leaving you alone in the candlelight.
  12. >A purple portal opens and a familiar yellow pegasus steps into the room.
  13. >She's got a guitar, and is strumming along.
  14. >You back up to the door, but find it locked.
  15. >Panicking, you hear her begin to sing.
  16.  
  17.  
  18. >My Anon,
  19. >don't you know we've come a long, long way?
  20. >I been longin' to see ya,
  21. >When you're around you take my breath away.
  22.  
  23. >Sweet Anon,
  24. >You'll surely fall for my disguise.
  25. >I'm a lonely dreamer with my eyes fixed on my prize
  26.  
  27. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOooo-o-o-on!
  28.  
  29. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOoon I love you!
  30.  
  31. >My Anon,
  32. >Mine was a cold and lonely bed.
  33. >Just my thoughts about you turn my face flushed 'n' red.
  34. >Crazy human, you're so stong when you take hold of me
  35. >You drive me crazy wond'rin how my life could be.
  36.  
  37. >You are the one who sets my- LOINS ON FIRE!
  38.  
  39. >You treat me so rough, Anon- TAKE ME TODAY!
  40.  
  41. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOooo-o-o-on!
  42.  
  43. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOoon I love you!
  44.  
  45. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOooo-o-o-on!
  46.  
  47. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOoon I love you!
  48.  
  49. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOooo-o-o-on!
  50.  
  51. >AnoooOOOOOOOOOoon I love you!
  52.  
  53. >You stare at each other in the silence and candlelight
  54. >"Um, Anon?"
  55. ...
  56. >"Is 90's Country your fetish?"
  57.  
  58. >That night you carry fluttershy deep into the backcountry.
  59. >The sun-kissed rocks of the mesas keep the two of you warm as you make love with only the coyotes and the moon as witness.
  60. >Today was a Brooks and Dunn kind of day.
  61.  
  62. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  63. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  64.  
  65. Applesong (Edelweiss)
  66.  
  67.  
  68. >Slowly the aged stallion climbs the familiar path.
  69. >How many times in his youth had he scaled this mountain?
  70. >When the family had settled Ponyville, he had remained only a few years.
  71. >It was the Apple Family way, after all, to spread across the land.
  72. >He had finally settled here, in what was then wilderness, and had named the mountain himself.
  73. >Land had been tilled and planted, Buffalo warded away or bought off.
  74. >And eventually the family began to prosper, and a real town came to be.
  75. >All because of one stubborn Apple, a seed in rocky soil.
  76. >But that was so very long ago.
  77.  
  78. >He had left most of his things at his last nights camp, bringing only what he felt necessary.
  79. >His usual clothes
  80. >His walking stick
  81. >His favorite hat
  82. >And a photo album
  83. >As he reached the gentle crest of the summit, he sat down.
  84. >The sun would soon set, he wouldn't make it down.
  85. >But that was how he planned it.
  86. >He laid out the photo album before him, and the memories came flooding back to him.
  87. >Seeing a picture of his family and their wagon, and old melody floated on the wind.
  88. >How did it go? Its been so long..
  89. >Staring out over his orchards far below, the words came to him.
  90. >After a pause, he softly lifted his voice to the mountains.
  91.  
  92.  
  93. (To the tune of "Edelweiss")
  94.  
  95. Apple Tree, Apple Tree,
  96. Every morning you greet me.
  97. Tall and strong, won't be long
  98. 'til you no longer need me.
  99. Fruit bearing bough, may you bloom and grow;
  100. Bloom and grow forever!
  101. Apple Tree, Apple Tree,
  102. Bless my Family forever!
  103.  
  104. Apple Tree, Apple Tree,
  105. Today, you no longer need me.
  106. Leaving home, find your own
  107. Someday you shall succeed me.
  108. Fruit bearing bough, may you bloom and grow
  109. Bloom and grow forever!
  110. Apple Tree, Apple Tree
  111. Bless my Family forever!
  112.  
  113. >His father had taught him that song, and his sister too.
  114. >He wanted them to spread their roots across Equestria.
  115. >So that no Apple would ever be alone.
  116. >But now was a time for solitude.
  117. >He had long ago penned his own final verse.
  118.  
  119. Apple Tree, Apple Tree
  120. I hope you never forget me.
  121. Spread and grow, row by row,
  122. Be kind, when you recollect me.
  123. Fruit bearing bough, may you bloom and grow,
  124. Bloom and grow forever!
  125. Apple Tree, Apple Tree,
  126. Bless my Family forever!
  127.  
  128. >He laid down in the Alpine grass, a smile on his face.
  129. >A voice called to him, as the world slowed.
  130. "Granddad!" Braeburn called, rushing towards him.
  131. >As his grandson took his hoof, he looked up and smiled.
  132. "An Apple is never alone!" he whispered, and closed his eyes for the last time.
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