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Muddershy Shorts (Ongoing)

By Hawkeye
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-03-07 17:10:46
Expiry: Never
anonapplejackfluttershyshortsrainbow dash/flutterrape//aie/wip

  1. 1.
    >Day Tough Mudder
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >With the help of AJ and Rainbow, you had built Equestria's first Tough Mudder course
  4. 4.
    >12 miles long
  5. 5.
    >21 obstacles
  6. 6.
    >You were goddamn pumped to run this thing.
  7. 7.
    >You were in the first group of the day, with Dash and AJ.
  8. 8.
    >Celestia gave the starting speech, getting the group pumped up.
  9. 9.
    >Thats when you see her.
  10. 10.
    >Holy Hell, what the shit is Fluttershy doing here!?
  11. 11.
    “Fluttershy! What are you doing here?” Dash ask incredulously.
  12. 12.
    >”Oh, well, I thought maybe I could prove myself to you if I did this, Anon.”
  13. 13.
    “Flutters” you begin, face meeting palm, “this event isn't a joke. Its brutal. I don't think you should do this.”
  14. 14.
    >”Don't be silly, Anon, nothing is too hard if it wins your love.” she smiles.
  15. 15.
    >AJ and Rainbow give you a look.
  16. 16.
    >”Well, alright, Sugarcube. But you had best stick with us.”
  17. 17.
    >Oh God, what have you done?
  18. 18.
    >Celestia finishes her speech, and the group takes off at a run.
  19. 19.
    >You join the pack.
  20. 20.
    >After a few twists along the mud-covered trail, you reach Obstacle 1: The Arctic Enema
  21. 21.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/arctic-enema/
  22. 22.
    >You line up, eager to get through this, Fluttershy right behind you.
  23. 23.
    >You sigh, but allow her to stick to you as you approach the water-filled dumpsters.
  24. 24.
    >AJ and Rainbow jump together.
  25. 25.
    >”OH SWEET CELESTIA IS THAT COLD!” Dash shouts, surfacing.
  26. 26.
    >AJ just grabs her and drags her under the water, and they resurface past the board, scrambling towards the ladders out.
  27. 27.
    >You're next up, and get ready to take the plunge.
  28. 28.
    >”A-Anon? What exactly-AAaaieeeeee!”
  29. 29.
    >You grab her hoof as you leap headlong into the ice-filled pool.
  30. 30.
    >You don't surface until you're past the board.
  31. 31.
    >You hold Fluttershy over your head, as she shivers and trembles.
  32. 32.
    >”A-a-anon? I-I-I d-don't think th-this is-s a go-od idea anym-more...”
  33. 33.
    >You say nothing as you clamber over the side and onto the muddy path.
  34. 34.
    >Dash and AJ just grin.
  35. 35.
    >”Sorry, Flutters, but its a mite too late to turn back” AJ laughs
  36. 36.
    >Looks like you'll spend the day with.
  37. 37.
    >Fucking Muddershy.
  38. 38.
     
  39. 39.
     
  40. 40.
     
  41. 41.
    >Still Day Tough Mudder
  42. 42.
    >Fluttershy has joined your team.
  43. 43.
    >It is not an improvement, but rather a challenge.
  44. 44.
    >Can you forcibly drag Yellow Quiet through the entire course?
  45. 45.
    >You regroup after the Arctic Enema.
  46. 46.
    >”Whoo-ee! That was mighty cold! I can still feel it in mah bones!” Applejack says, shaking her stetson as dry as possible.
  47. 47.
    “Lets keep moving, we've only just started!” you beam enthusiasticly, dropping a shivering Fluttershy.
  48. 48.
    >She lands on her hooves, sinking an inch into the mud with a soft 'plop'
  49. 49.
    >You lead the way, Rainbow and AJ herding Fluttershy along behind you.
  50. 50.
    >”Uh uh, Sugarcube” you hear Applejack say after Flutters tries to make an escape “You wanted to do this, an' we ain't gonna let you quit so easy.”
  51. 51.
    >”Yeah, come on Fluttershy! You're never gonna impress Anon like that!”
  52. 52.
    >You facepalm.
  53. 53.
    >Fluttershy marshals her courage and presses on.
  54. 54.
    >The sun feels warm on your back, and the ice bath has invigorated you.
  55. 55.
    >You stretch out your legs and run as the next obstacle comes into view.
  56. 56.
     
  57. 57.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/electric-eel-shocks-on-rocks/
  58. 58.
     
  59. 59.
    >You look to your compatriots, and see Rainbow whispering something into Applejack's ear.
  60. 60.
    >She nods, tips her hat in front of her eyes, and gallops towards one of the lanes.
  61. 61.
    >Throwing herself down, she slides most of the way through.
  62. 62.
    >As she starts to crawl, you notice the occasional twitch as one of the live wires touch her, but she makes it out in no time at all.
  63. 63.
    >Rainbow pushes poor Fluttershy up to one of the lanes.
  64. 64.
    >”Come on, Fluttershy! I know you've got it in you!”
  65. 65.
    >“I dont, I mean, um...”
  66. 66.
    >She cautiously pokes a hoof onto the slip-n-slide-esque material.
  67. 67.
    >Rainbow spins and bucks Flutters in the flank, sending her flying down the channel.
  68. 68.
    >Dash then gets a running start and shoots down a lane of her own.
  69. 69.
    >”EEEEEEEEEeeeee-*urk!*”
  70. 70.
    >Oh what the hell.
  71. 71.
    >Flutterbutt stopped sliding with her flank in the air still.
  72. 72.
    >And it appears her generous [spoiler]perfect-for-child-bearing[/spoiler] hips have each touched a wire.
  73. 73.
    >She is effectively paralyzed.
  74. 74.
    >Dash is still crawling.
  75. 75.
    >Applejack is carrying on with one of the workers nearby.
  76. 76.
    >Your enthusiasm dies, as irritated resignation wells up inside of you.
  77. 77.
    >Backing way up, you lean a bit forward...
  78. 78.
    >...and sprint towards Fluttershy's lane.
  79. 79.
    >With all the speed you can muster, you fling yourself onto your chest, hurtling forward.
  80. 80.
    >The side of your face and your right shoulder make shocking contact with Flutterbutt.
  81. 81.
    >She scoots out into the mud with a soft “eep!”
  82. 82.
    >You begin the crawl, occasionally bumping into the wood frames, or catching your...wait, no.
  83. 83.
    >You aren't bumping anything.
  84. 84.
    >Those twitches are the wires.
  85. 85.
    >Huh, how 'bout that.
  86. 86.
    >You finally scramble out of the wires, your calf giving one last jerk as a final wire clips you.
  87. 87.
    >Standing up, Applejack has a limp Fluttershy draped over her withers.
  88. 88.
    >Her and Rainbow are wearing enormous grins.
  89. 89.
    >”Aw, looks like big bad Anon here has a heart after all!” the farm pony chuckles.
  90. 90.
    “Well if /somepony/ hadn't been too busy trying to end her dry spell...” you counter.
  91. 91.
    >”Hay now, that ain't fair! A mare has needs!” AJ whines, Rainbow snickers beside her.
  92. 92.
    “Lets just keep moving.” you suggest, gesturing towards the trail with a sweeping motion. “After you.”
  93. 93.
    >Rainbow drops back to walk next to you, and thanks you...
  94. 94.
    >...for saving Muddershy.
  95. 95.
     
  96. 96.
     
  97. 97.
     
  98. 98.
    (My apologies, these next 3 obstacles aren't featured on the ToughMudder Site, so I found the best pics I could)
  99. 99.
     
  100. 100.
    >Day Still Tough Mudder
  101. 101.
    >Its been about a mile since the first two obstacles.
  102. 102.
    >The next three are pretty tame compared to the last ones.
  103. 103.
    “Kiss of Mud is next, right?” you ask.
  104. 104.
    >”If'n I recall correctly, it is. Then Glory Blades, then the Ladder t' Hell.” AJ answers.
  105. 105.
    >You shrug.
  106. 106.
    > Not too awful, but can't wear out all the contestants this early.
  107. 107.
    >Reach Kiss of Mud.
  108. 108.
    http://kanasherry.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/2.jpg
  109. 109.
    >Its just a good old-fashioned army crawl beneath barbed-wire.
  110. 110.
    >Plenty of mud and ice-water to boot.
  111. 111.
    >You forge ahead, letting the girls take care of Flutters on this one.
  112. 112.
    >Just need a bit of a break from her.
  113. 113.
    >And other than snagging her mane on the wire, she does alright.
  114. 114.
    >You're waiting at the end, and offer your hand to pull her to her hooves.
  115. 115.
    >A slap of the flank scoots her forward so you can help AJ and Dash up.
  116. 116.
    >Your hand was dirty anyways.
  117. 117.
    >Dash leads off, and Applejack grabs your pants leg to hold you back.
  118. 118.
    > “Now what was all that about?”
  119. 119.
    “The Kiss of Mud?”
  120. 120.
    >”No, gosh darnit! I saw what ya did, givin' Fluttershy that little bump on her rump.”
  121. 121.
    “Just getting her moving, Applejack. No more, no less.”
  122. 122.
    >”Alright, Sugarcube. If you say so...”
  123. 123.
    >You frown slightly, but brush it off.
  124. 124.
     
  125. 125.
    >Not far from the Kiss of Mud you encounter Glory Blades.
  126. 126.
    http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/HEMJbdo7ki0/maxresdefault.jpg
  127. 127.
    >Instead of normal walls to climb, these are a bit shorter, but angled towards you.
  128. 128.
    >Its an exercise in pure upper body strength, as your feet won't have anything to push off of.
  129. 129.
    >AJ expertly leaps the first one, but loses footing and slides off before she can lend a hoof to the rest of you.
  130. 130.
    >Dash runs at it, and grossly miscalculates.
  131. 131.
    >She impacts the boards with a dull thud.
  132. 132.
    >Forgot her wings were tied down, you suppose.
  133. 133.
    “Rainbow! Are you alright?” you ask, kneeling beside her.
  134. 134.
    >”Yeah, dude. I'm cool.” she says, eyes rolling about her head still.
  135. 135.
    >She stands, and walks into a support beam.
  136. 136.
    >You scoop her up in your arms.
  137. 137.
    >”Hay! I'm fine, Anon!”
  138. 138.
    >Nope.
  139. 139.
    >You lift her and push her over the edge.
  140. 140.
    >Repeat with Fluttershy.
  141. 141.
    >Grab the edge yourself, and jump.
  142. 142.
    >You manage to wrestle yourself up enough to sling a leg over, and roll over.
  143. 143.
    >Sliding down the other side, you see AJ making Rainbow Dash walk a straight line.
  144. 144.
    “How is she?”
  145. 145.
    >”Seems fine now. Just got a bit shook up, is all.” Applejack replies.
  146. 146.
    >”I told you I was good!”
  147. 147.
    “Come on Rainbow Crash. Still got two more of these to do.” you jab, grabbing Fluttershy and tossing her over the next wall.
  148. 148.
    >She slides down the other side with a quiet “Eep!”
  149. 149.
    >Rainbow clears it this time, and Applejack follows.
  150. 150.
    >Once more, you pull yourself over.
  151. 151.
    >Shits tiring.
  152. 152.
    >Last one.
  153. 153.
    >AJ manages to stay at the edge this time, so you can hand Fluttershy up instead of tossing her.
  154. 154.
    >But Fluttershy dodges your grip.
  155. 155.
    >Running with all of her minimal power, she jumps high enough to land on Dash.
  156. 156.
    >She then bounces up high enough for Applejack to grab her hooves.
  157. 157.
    >With AJ's help, she frantically scrambles over the edge.
  158. 158.
    >”...yay!”
  159. 159.
    >You can't help but smile.
  160. 160.
    >Its good to know that she's at least going to try.
  161. 161.
    >Dash jumps up and over, and you jump up.
  162. 162.
    >You push yourself up on your arms, and AJ pushes your butt, sending you sliding headfirst into the grass at the bottom.
  163. 163.
    “Gee, thanks, Applejack.” you grumble, unfolding yourself.
  164. 164.
    >”Anytime, Sugarcube.” she says with a wink, landing neatly beside you.
  165. 165.
    >That mare needs a coltfriend already, damn
  166. 166.
    >Brush yourself off, and you can already see the next obstacle in this little cluster.
  167. 167.
    >The Ladder to Hell.
  168. 168.
    http://gothedistanceblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/tough-mudder-2012-079.jpg
  169. 169.
    >Really, just a giant ladder made of 2x10's spaced three feet or so apart.
  170. 170.
    >This would blow if you had a fear of heights.
  171. 171.
    >Which, gauging by her hyperventillation, Fluttershy has.
  172. 172.
    >Sigh.
  173. 173.
    >You jog up to the contruct, and Dash leap onto it.
  174. 174.
    >AJ grabs Fluttershy and drags her onto the first step.
  175. 175.
    >”Come on now, Flutterbutter, it ain't that hard.”
  176. 176.
    >”B-but its s-so high!”
  177. 177.
    >You know what has to be done.
  178. 178.
    >Even if it really isn't what you want to do.
  179. 179.
    >Put on your best teacher face.
  180. 180.
    >You reach up to the next rung, and pull yourself up.
  181. 181.
    >Looking down to your right, you offer a hand.
  182. 182.
    “C'mon Fluttershy. I'll help you.”
  183. 183.
    >She looks nervously between the top and you, then stretched her hoof out.
  184. 184.
    >You grab it, and pull her up right beside you.
  185. 185.
    >She fearfully attaches herself to the ladder, while you move up.
  186. 186.
    >You do this over and over until she's at the top.
  187. 187.
    >She clings to a post as you roll onto your stomach, laying on the top boards.
  188. 188.
    >The descent will be impossible, there's no good way for you to help her.
  189. 189.
    >Unless...
  190. 190.
    >You look up at her.
  191. 191.
    “Fluttershy, climb on.”
  192. 192.
    >”W-what?”
  193. 193.
    “My back. Climb on. I'll carry you down.”
  194. 194.
    >”Oh Anon! You're my hero!”
  195. 195.
    “Don't push it.”
  196. 196.
    >”Sorry.” she says, carefully wrapping her hooves around your shoulders.
  197. 197.
    >You begin the descent, going much faster than the climb up.
  198. 198.
    >”Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness”
  199. 199.
    >With a small hop, you land on solid ground.
  200. 200.
    >Tweedle Dash and Tweedle Apple are grinning at you like the idiots they are.
  201. 201.
    >”Come on, loverboy. Water Station is just ahead!” Dash yells, taking off down the path.
  202. 202.
    >Applejack follows as Fluttershy climbs off your back.
  203. 203.
    >Even if your friends gave you some ribbing about it, you feel good for...
  204. 204.
    >...helping Muddershy.
  205. 205.
     
  206. 206.
     
  207. 207.
    >Day still Tough Mudder in Equestria.
  208. 208.
    >The last water station was two miles ago.
  209. 209.
    >Fluttershy is really dragging, but the girls won't let her stop.
  210. 210.
    >”Come on, Fluttershy! You think that's gonna impress Anon!”
  211. 211.
    “For Christ's sake, Dash...”
  212. 212.
    >You facepalm.
  213. 213.
    >Luckily the next obstacle is up next: Trench Warfare
  214. 214.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/trench-warfare/
  215. 215.
    >A series of trenches with some 90 degree turns in them.
  216. 216.
    >All covered, so the center is pitch black.
  217. 217.
    >Of course, and as always, this new situation is terrifying to Fluttershy.
  218. 218.
    >Thinking quickly, you wink at AJ and she trots over.
  219. 219.
    >You whisper your plan to her, then crawl down into one of the tunnels.
  220. 220.
    >You can hear them still coaxing Flutters behind you.
  221. 221.
    >After a while, they stop talking, and you stop moving.
  222. 222.
    >Its Dark. As. Fuck.
  223. 223.
    >But what comes next is the key.
  224. 224.
    “Um, Fluttershy?”
  225. 225.
    >No answer.
  226. 226.
    “Fluttershy?” you yell louder.
  227. 227.
    >”Anon?” she timidly calls back.
  228. 228.
    “I seem to be caught on something...I can't get out.”
  229. 229.
    >Her response is too quiet to discern.
  230. 230.
    “I can't hear you, 'Shy! Can you send AJ or Dash?”
  231. 231.
    >”Um, they, uh, already went into the tunnels!”
  232. 232.
    “Well...I guess, can you come help me then?”
  233. 233.
    >”Oh, well I um, I don't think-”
  234. 234.
    “For me?”
  235. 235.
    >You hear her squeak, and then nothing.
  236. 236.
    >Nothing.
  237. 237.
    >A scraping, and some hyperventilating behind you.
  238. 238.
    >You crawl forward as fast as you can, and scramble out of the hole.
  239. 239.
    >Turning around, you drop back in, an cover as much of the exit as possible.
  240. 240.
    >AJ and Dash pull on your shirt, stretching it over the gaps.
  241. 241.
    >You are now covering the entire exit.
  242. 242.
    >“A-Anon?” you hear Fluttershy calling you.
  243. 243.
    “I'm here, Fluttershy! Keep coming!”
  244. 244.
    >“Okay...it just seems so far...”
  245. 245.
    “I'm right here, Flutters.” you encourage.
  246. 246.
    >Finally, after endless coaxing, she runs into you.
  247. 247.
    >You wrap your arms around her, and roll onto your back.
  248. 248.
    >”Eeeeep!”
  249. 249.
    >She seizes up as AJ and Rainbow pull her off of you so you can get up.
  250. 250.
    >Dusting yourself off, you can see the signs saying its the Wounded Warrior Carry next.
  251. 251.
    http://info.servertech.com/Portals/118864/images/Wounded%20Warrior-resized-600.JPG
  252. 252.
    >AJ and Dash are debating who carries who first.
  253. 253.
    >You sneak up behind them and the just-recovered Fluttershy, and grab them all in a bear hug.
  254. 254.
    >With a maniacal giggle, you take off down the path.
  255. 255.
    >”You let me go, goshdarnit!”
  256. 256.
    >”Not cool man!”
  257. 257.
    >”I don't mind...”
  258. 258.
    >”Aw quiet, you!”
  259. 259.
    “Heeheeheeheehee!”
  260. 260.
    >Finally you reach the 'change places' marker and set them down.
  261. 261.
    >You're quite winded, but also rather pleased with yourself.
  262. 262.
    >Breathing deeply, you catch a glimpse of Dash as you catch your breath.
  263. 263.
    >She seems rather disgruntled, but AJ is whispering something to her.
  264. 264.
    >Ooof!
  265. 265.
    >It would appear you have been table-topped.
  266. 266.
    >The grass beneath you begins to move.
  267. 267.
    >Or rather, you are moving over the grass.
  268. 268.
    >”I may have... a few regrets... about this here plan... Rainbow!”
  269. 269.
    >AJ may have underestimated your size.
  270. 270.
    >You feel a second pony join her, and she sighs in relief as you begin to accelerate.
  271. 271.
    >1 mph, here we come!
  272. 272.
    >You smile at Fluttershy, who just stares at you for a second, before joining her friends.
  273. 273.
    >You barely notice.
  274. 274.
    >Careful not to alert the girls, you swing your arms wide, and bend your knees.
  275. 275.
    >Shifting around a bit, to disguise what you're doing, you let your palms hit the ground.
  276. 276.
    >Slowly you begin to crab-walk, lessening the load on the poor mares.
  277. 277.
    >Dash groans in frustration.
  278. 278.
    >”Darn it, AJ! Those stallions just passed us! I wanted to be the first done!”
  279. 279.
    “Its not a race, Rainbow. Its a challenge.”
  280. 280.
    >”We're almost to th' end, Dash. Just... a bit... further...”
  281. 281.
    >Suddenly you feel the mares collapse underneath you.
  282. 282.
    >You barely catch yourself in time.
  283. 283.
    >Standing up, you can see the next obstacle about half a mile away, across the field.
  284. 284.
    >Just beyond that is water.
  285. 285.
    “Come on girls. We'll never pass those stallions like that!”
  286. 286.
    >Rainbow perks up immediately, tossing Fluttershy on her back as she trots off down the path.
  287. 287.
    >You throw AJ over your shoulder.
  288. 288.
    >”Hay! I don' need no help, ya hear!?”
  289. 289.
    “Just take it easy. I'm plenty impressed that y'all carried me that far.”
  290. 290.
    >”Ya callin' me weak!?”
  291. 291.
    “Nope. I'm just heavy.”
  292. 292.
    >”And what's with encouraging Rainbow?” she asks, dropping her volume.
  293. 293.
    “I know, it isn't a race. But it sure got her motivated, didn't it?”
  294. 294.
    >”Hmmm, well, I guess I can't argue with the truth.”
  295. 295.
    >You catch up with Rainbow Dash, and set AJ back on her hooves.
  296. 296.
    >Fluttershy takes her place.
  297. 297.
    >Your rag-tag band reaches the ladders of the next obstacle: Walk the Plank
  298. 298.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/walk-the-plank/
  299. 299.
    >You drop Fluttershy at the top of the platform.
  300. 300.
    >AJ and Dash go first, a cannonball and a neat, clean dive, respectively.
  301. 301.
    >When they pop out of the water, you look over to Fluttershy.
  302. 302.
    >”Miss you gotta go, or get outta the way.” the lifeguard at the top grunts.
  303. 303.
    >”Maybe I'll just-EEEEEEEEE!!!”
  304. 304.
    >As she begins to chicken out, you push her off the edge.
  305. 305.
    >Despite landing in an arm-flailing belly-flop, she disappears into the water with a quiet bloop.
  306. 306.
    >A moment later, she surfaces.
  307. 307.
    “eeeeee!”
  308. 308.
    >AJ and Rainbow drag the floundering Fluttershy to shore, and you leap in.
  309. 309.
    “CANNON BALL!!!”
  310. 310.
    >Holy shit this water was deeper than you expected!
  311. 311.
    >It feels like forever getting to the surface, but you make it as your lungs start to burn.
  312. 312.
    >Bobbing for a second to get your bearings, you sight the shore and paddle over.
  313. 313.
    >As you wade ashore, you see Fluttershy spawled-out on her back, not moving.
  314. 314.
    “I'm not giving you CPR, Fluttershy.” you state flatly as you walk past.
  315. 315.
    >Rainbow and AJ laugh, falling in behind you.
  316. 316.
    >You can't help but smile as you hear a quiet “darn!” whispered behind you.
  317. 317.
    >Just another ridiculous mile spent
  318. 318.
    >Laughing at Muddershy.
  319. 319.
     
  320. 320.
    >Day Tough Mudder (It never ends!)
  321. 321.
    >Gathered at the water station, you recoup with your partners Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
  322. 322.
    >Plus your foolhardy tag-along and stalker, Fluttershy.
  323. 323.
    >You slam down a few cups of water.
  324. 324.
    >Gonna be a bit toasty out today.
  325. 325.
    >Your recent plunge and the water has helped loads.
  326. 326.
    >Feeling refreshed and ready, you turn to your compadres.
  327. 327.
    “Ready to roll?”
  328. 328.
    >”You know it!” Dash boasts, trotting off.
  329. 329.
    >”Well its a good thing I'm ready too.” Applejack snorts. “Come on, Flutterbutter. Lets get going.”
  330. 330.
    >Following the prismatic pegasus, you all catch up to her standing at a wood pile.
  331. 331.
    >Logs of various sizes sit in a heap.
  332. 332.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/hold-your-wood/
  333. 333.
    >”We gonna share or do this ourselves?” Rainbow asks impatiently.
  334. 334.
    “I'll go it alone.” You offer.
  335. 335.
    >”No offense, Sugarcube, but I think we already knew that.”
  336. 336.
    >You shrug, and shoulder a chunk of wood as big as a pony.
  337. 337.
    “See ya later.” you smirk, and stroll down the course.
  338. 338.
    >And by 'down the course' you mean 'across the pond'
  339. 339.
    >Right.
  340. 340.
    >Forgot you did that.
  341. 341.
    >You slosh into the water, but it isn't more than knee-deep for you.
  342. 342.
    >Wouldn't want the ponies to drown now.
  343. 343.
    “Gah, fuck!” you curse, as your foot drops into a hole, causing you to lose balance.
  344. 344.
    >You recover, and take a moment to look behind you.
  345. 345.
    >You see Rainbow and AJ both sporting impressive wood.
  346. 346.
    “Hey y'all, its not a competition.”
  347. 347.
    >”Just...just can it...Anon!” Rainbow grunts as she trudges past you.
  348. 348.
    >”Nothin'... more th'n a... friendly... wager!” Applejack adds.
  349. 349.
    >”Friendly”
  350. 350.
    >Of course.
  351. 351.
    “Where's Fluttershy?” you ask, looking back up the route.
  352. 352.
    >They're too busy to answer, but its easy enough to see.
  353. 353.
    >Her yellow coat stands out against the murky water as she struggles under the weight of her wood.
  354. 354.
    >Quickly turning, you power across the pond, passing the grunting and swearing olympians, and dropping your log in the marked area.
  355. 355.
    >And then you head back.
  356. 356.
    >You wave cheerily at the dynamic duo as you wade past them.
  357. 357.
    >”Buck... you... Anon!”
  358. 358.
    >Crossing about half the lake, you find Fluttershy trapped in a hole.
  359. 359.
    >She's up to her neck in water.
  360. 360.
    >Her eyes are closed, and she's hyperventilating.
  361. 361.
    >Kneeling down in the water, you reach out.
  362. 362.
    >In one hand, you take hold of a piece of log about the size of your forearm.
  363. 363.
    >In the other, you procure the panicked pegasus.
  364. 364.
    >As you hoist her into the air, she instinctively latches onto your chest without opening her eyes.
  365. 365.
    >You roll your eyes as you trudge to the shore.
  366. 366.
    >Next to the drop zone, AJ and Rainbow Dash lay sprawled in the grass.
  367. 367.
    >You set the wood down, and pry Fluttershy off your chest.
  368. 368.
    >Setting her down, she curls up on the grass.
  369. 369.
    >You step to your collapsed teammates.
  370. 370.
    >“Hey there, Anon.” AJ says.
  371. 371.
    “I expected better of you two. Especially the Element of Loyalty.” you say, frowning in Rainbow's direction.
  372. 372.
    >“What? I swear, it wasn't like the Running of the Leaves thing-”
  373. 373.
    “Not that! You left Fluttershy stuck in a muddy hole! I know I've said this is about challenging yourself Rainbow, but its also about camaraderie, and comrades don't leave teammates behind!”
  374. 374.
    >”Aw shucks.” Applejack mutters. She looks up at you. “I'm sorry Anon. We jus' got so caught up in tryin' to out-do each other-”
  375. 375.
    “I know, I know. Fluttershy is fine.” you tut, crouching down. “But from now on, lets do things as a team, okay? No more Applejack versus Rainbow Dash, just us, the Elements of Toughness. Deal?”
  376. 376.
    “Deal!”
  377. 377.
    “You got it, Sugarcube!”
  378. 378.
    >And with that, they hurry over to apologize to Fluttershy via tackle-hug.
  379. 379.
    >Probably should have warned her about that.
  380. 380.
     
  381. 381.
    >Its been about a mile since Hold Your Wood.
  382. 382.
    >Just ahead, you can see a tangle of felled tree trunks, crisscrossed like lincoln logs.
  383. 383.
    >Only Lincoln logs don't usually have barbed wire.
  384. 384.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/log-jammin/
  385. 385.
    >With a running start, you vault the first log.
  386. 386.
    >Duck, scramble, roll, crawl.
  387. 387.
    >Under, over, under, through.
  388. 388.
    >The barbed wire is more than enough incentive to keep you on the course intended.
  389. 389.
    >A few times you have to brave the barbs though, as the gaps are made for ponies, not humans.
  390. 390.
    >It surprises you how long this section is, and you emerge at the end quite winded.
  391. 391.
    >After catching your breath, you climb the nearest corner of the obstacle to watch your team.
  392. 392.
    >They're taking it slower than you did, and they aren't the best at crawling under the logs.
  393. 393.
    >But what matters most is that all three are sticking together.
  394. 394.
    >You probably should have stayed with them,
  395. 395.
    >But you wanted to watch, to be sure.
  396. 396.
    >You're there to offer a Helping Hand when they reach the end of the gauntlet.
  397. 397.
    >They immediately press on, and you follow.
  398. 398.
    >”Come on, water in a mile, I can see it!” Rainbow says, coaching a winded Fluttershy along.
  399. 399.
    >”Whoo-ee! That was tirin' but fun!”
  400. 400.
    “Glad you liked it. Big Mac let us use the trees from the South Orchard.”
  401. 401.
    >You swear you can hear her mind shattering.
  402. 402.
     
  403. 403.
    >Stopping for water, AJ continues to berate you.
  404. 404.
    >Apparently she didn't think your joke was funny.
  405. 405.
    >”...and I planted my first tree in that orchard!”
  406. 406.
    >You just nod along until she finishes.
  407. 407.
    >Drink some water. Get banana's.
  408. 408.
    “Here's AJ, have a banana.”
  409. 409.
    >”Why?”
  410. 410.
    “Because you get grumpy when you're hungry.” you say as she munches away. “Better?”
  411. 411.
    >”Better.” she smiles. “But don't go makin' any more jokes about Sweet Apple Acres, ya hear?”
  412. 412.
    “Calm yourself, Treekicker.” you laugh, tipping her stetson over her eyes. “No more jokes.”
  413. 413.
    >“You two done yet? I wanna get moving!” Dash whines.
  414. 414.
    “Fluttershy, have you eaten?”
  415. 415.
    >Shoving the last of it in her mouth, she puffs her cheeks like a squirrel.
  416. 416.
    >She smiles and nods.
  417. 417.
    “Well, okay then. Lets move along.”
  418. 418.
     
  419. 419.
    >Another mile down the course, you reach a large wooden construct.
  420. 420.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/hangin-tough/
  421. 421.
    >You had almost skipped this one, not thinking ponies could pull it off.
  422. 422.
    >But Dash had taken offense, and you put Hangin' Tough and Funky Monkey back in the lineup.
  423. 423.
    >Also, you were terrible at this one.
  424. 424.
    >Just awful.
  425. 425.
    >Your gaze drifts to the icy blue water, and you consider just jumping in and swimming.
  426. 426.
    >”Come on, Anon!” Rainbow encourages you, as Applejack begins swinging across.
  427. 427.
    >”Ah pony-” SPLASH “-feathers.”
  428. 428.
    >And AJ is down.
  429. 429.
    >Fluttershy is making her way across now, and it looks like weighing next to nothing is helping quite a bit.
  430. 430.
    >With a grimace, you grab the first ring.
  431. 431.
    >Reaching out, you take another.
  432. 432.
    >”Whoa!” Rainbow shouts, losing grip and flying into the water.
  433. 433.
    >Fluttershy is across, and waiting with a slightly shivering Applejack.
  434. 434.
    >Two more rings and you're halfway there!
  435. 435.
    >As you grab the next one, you feel it: grease.
  436. 436.
    >In your hubris, you had forgotten some of these were greased, and your weight was already shifted.
  437. 437.
    >It slips out of your hand, and you mutter a few oaths.
  438. 438.
    >Landing with a splash, you quickly surface.
  439. 439.
    >Being in the front of the first group has some downsides.
  440. 440.
    >Like all the ice water being fresh.
  441. 441.
    “Goddamnitgoddamnitgoddammnit” you mumble, pushing through the water to the ladder.
  442. 442.
    >”Oh, Anon! You look cold!” Fluttershy cries out, rushing to you.
  443. 443.
    >She wraps you in a hug.
  444. 444.
    >You swear you hear her stifle an 'eeep' as she realizes how cold you really are.
  445. 445.
    >Applejack and Rainbow Dash just smirk at you.
  446. 446.
    >Rolling your eyes at them, you lift Fluttershy off of you.
  447. 447.
    ”I must have missed you hugging Rainbow earlier.”
  448. 448.
    >”Oh, she has fur though! She's fine. Just a little grumpy.” Fluttershy replies cheerfully.
  449. 449.
    >You chuckle a little, and AJ lets out a laugh.
  450. 450.
    >”Lets just keep moving.” Rainbow growls.
  451. 451.
    >As you press on down the course, you just can't stop...
  452. 452.
    >...laughing with Muddershy.
  453. 453.
     
  454. 454.
    >Day The Mudder Never Ends! In Equestria
  455. 455.
    >As your dynamic quartet heads away from Hangin' Tough, the next obstacle comes into view.
  456. 456.
    http://www.typetwofun.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Tough_Mudder_Fire_Walker.png
  457. 457.
    >This would be easier if you had gone later.
  458. 458.
    >But as is, the flames are going pretty good still.
  459. 459.
    >”Um, Anon?” Fluttershy looks at you questioningly.
  460. 460.
    “Yessss?”
  461. 461.
    >”What do we, um, do?”
  462. 462.
    >Rainbow answers that by jumping over the flames, Applejack close on her tail.
  463. 463.
    “Pretty much that.” you say with a shrug.
  464. 464.
    >”Oh, oh dear...”
  465. 465.
    >You nudge her along, until she's lined up to go.
  466. 466.
    “C'mon Flutters, the flames aren't that bad.”
  467. 467.
    >”Yeah!” Rainbow shouts from the other side. “Its totally easier than that time you faced that dragon!”
  468. 468.
    >”D-d-d-dragon!?” Fluttershy chatters, before going hooves-up.
  469. 469.
    >Your face is getting rather familiar with your palm at this point.
  470. 470.
    >”Sugarcube, I know ya meant well, but let Anon do the fancy talkin' from now on.”
  471. 471.
    >”Ooops, my bad. Sorry, Anon.”
  472. 472.
    >You grab Fluttershy for the umpteenth time today and run towards the fire.
  473. 473.
    >And over we go!
  474. 474.
    >Bracing for deep water, your legs take a mighty jolt as they hit the bottom of the pool.
  475. 475.
    “Gaaaaargh!” you shout, as Fluttershy goes flying out of your arms.
  476. 476.
    >Luckily her friends caught her, as you scale the rope net out of the cold water and take a seat on the edge.
  477. 477.
    >”You okay, Anon?”
  478. 478.
    >”Ya prob'ly shouldn'ta stiff-legged it there, partner.”
  479. 479.
    “Yeah.” you grunt. “I've got this. I'm good. Let's go.”
  480. 480.
    >You had been jogging down a nice wooded path for quite a while now.
  481. 481.
    >Fluttershy was pretending to still be passed out.
  482. 482.
    >She may have once been a model, but she will never be much of an actress.
  483. 483.
    >But you didn't mind, this part of the path was peaceful.
  484. 484.
    >A small creek was nearby, and the ground was soft here.
  485. 485.
    >Nice now, but you were sure that after your group and the one after passed over, it would be a muddy hell-hole.
  486. 486.
    >You smile at your own evil designs.
  487. 487.
    >Rainbow breaks the quiet all of a sudden.
  488. 488.
    >”Look, I see the next obstacle!”
  489. 489.
    http://www.mensfitness.com/sites/mensfitness.com/files/imagecache/gallery_full_image/photo_gallery_picture_images/dong-dangler-georgia.jpg
  490. 490.
    >Here the creek emptied into a muddy pond.
  491. 491.
    >Ropes crossed, tied to posts on either shore.
  492. 492.
    >The long cables dipped so low that a pony would be soaked as they scooted across.
  493. 493.
    “Alright, Flutters. The free ride ends here.” you say, setting her down, despite her best puppy dog eyes.
  494. 494.
    >Been immune to those for a very long time now.
  495. 495.
    >Walking to the waters edge, you grab hold of the line with both hands.
  496. 496.
    >You back up until only your feet are on dry land.
  497. 497.
    >You set one ankle on the rope, then lift the other to cross it.
  498. 498.
    >Thus set, you begin to pull yourself along.
  499. 499.
    >The going gets easier when you hit the water.
  500. 500.
    >You let the water take your weight, floating as you pull yourself along.
  501. 501.
    >Rainbow Dash swims past you, wet mane and a deep scowl across her face.
  502. 502.
    >”Not a bucking word, Anon.” she growls as she moves past.
  503. 503.
    >When you reach shore, you join Rainbow on some nearby grass, watching AJ come along the rope.
  504. 504.
    >Fluttershy has also abandoned the rope, and is just swimming.
  505. 505.
    >When they reach land, you let Applejack and Rainbow take the lead again.
  506. 506.
    >Too competitive sometimes, those two.
  507. 507.
    >”Um, Anon?”
  508. 508.
    >You look down at the still dripping pegasus.
  509. 509.
    >”Well, um, there seems to be a lot of water here, and I know you had a hoof in designing it...”
  510. 510.
    >You continue to stare as you walk.
  511. 511.
    >She hides behind her mane for a second.
  512. 512.
    >”I was wondering, if maybe, um, soakingwetmaresisyourfetish?”
  513. 513.
    “No Fluttershy, I was not thinking about surrounding myself with wet mares when I designed this course.” you say loudly.
  514. 514.
    “O-oh.” she says in the smallest voice imaginable, as the two mares ahead of you stumble.
  515. 515.
    >Rainbow is on the ground laughing and Applejack masks her own laughter with her hat as you walk by, a very embarrassed Fluttershy following.
  516. 516.
    >”Oh, Shy..” you hear the farmpony chuckle as she falls in behind you.
  517. 517.
    >”I can't believe you actually asked him that!” Rainbow laughs, catching up.
  518. 518.
    >As you lead the way, you can help but smile.
  519. 519.
    >Its always fun
  520. 520.
    >Embarrassing Muddershy.
  521. 521.
     
  522. 522.
    >Day Mudderbump
  523. 523.
    >As the ponies behind you shake themselves dry, you press on.
  524. 524.
    >No sense drying off, you remember what's next.
  525. 525.
    >Guess Rainbow Splash forgot.
  526. 526.
    >The trail does a quick u-turn, and you reach another pond.
  527. 527.
    >This one isn't on the creek though, and is much cleaner.
  528. 528.
    >The clear water also reveals that its deeper.
  529. 529.
    >The last one was only like five feet or so, but the muddy waters hid that pretty well.
  530. 530.
    >This one was closer to twelve in the center.
  531. 531.
    >A pair of lifeguards waits in a small raft near the center.
  532. 532.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/underwater-tunnels/
  533. 533.
    >Swimming across the pond, you need to duck under the barrels as you go.
  534. 534.
    >Step in.
  535. 535.
    >Oooh this pond's chilly!
  536. 536.
    >Biting the bullet, you leap in as the other catch up.
  537. 537.
    >Swearing in your head, you powerstroke out to the first set of barrels.
  538. 538.
    >Under and up, under and up, under and up...
  539. 539.
    >Clear!
  540. 540.
    >You pause and look back.
  541. 541.
    >AJ is doing a lazy backstroke.
  542. 542.
    >Dash is paddling fastly and furiously.
  543. 543.
    >Fluttershy is timidly puttering along in the back.
  544. 544.
    >Ah well, they'll get here.
  545. 545.
    >Onwards!
  546. 546.
    >You easily clear the second set of barrels, and pause once more.
  547. 547.
    >Applejack and Dash are quickly catching up, but Fluttershy can't seem to muster the courage to clear the first row of barrels, let alone the set.
  548. 548.
    >You let out a sigh of disappointment.
  549. 549.
    >Turning, you head for shore.
  550. 550.
     
  551. 551.
    >As you lounge in the warm shallows, Rainbow and AJ reach you.
  552. 552.
    “Where's Flutterbutt?”
  553. 553.
    >”Aw, she's takin' her sweet time. Dilly-dallying about the barrels and all.”
  554. 554.
    >”Why, miss her Anon?” Rainbow teases.
  555. 555.
    >The stallions that passed you earlier make the turn and arrive at the waters edge.
  556. 556.
    “Look Dash, its your friends from before. You can say hi when they pass us, sitting here waiting on Fluttershy.”
  557. 557.
    >”Shit!” she shouts, looking back.
  558. 558.
    >She's soon lambasting Fluttershy with 'encouragement' from the shore.
  559. 559.
    >You roll your eyes...
  560. 560.
    >...and spy some reeds.
  561. 561.
    >...Hmmm
  562. 562.
    >Breaking one in half, its as you suspected.
  563. 563.
    >Cartoonishly hollow: a perfect snorkel.
  564. 564.
    >Grabbing an undamaged one (with a nice curve near the root), and paddle out.
  565. 565.
    >Steering wide, you remain undetected.
  566. 566.
    >Circling behind the stallions, you use them to mask your approach.
  567. 567.
    >The sputtering pegasus has somehow cleared the first barrel
  568. 568.
    >But now clings trembling to the second.
  569. 569.
    >Dropping to the bottom, you study your prey.
  570. 570.
    >Her back hooves paddle just enough to keep her afloat.
  571. 571.
    [spoiler]And to wiggle dat Flutterflank...[/spoiler]
  572. 572.
    >Focus!
  573. 573.
    >Launching off the bottom, you propel yourself suddenly upward.
  574. 574.
    >Pulling in one last breath, you ditch the snorkel and grab a buttery hoof.
  575. 575.
    >Past the barrels, you surface only long enough to breathe before diving again.
  576. 576.
    >You make sure to lift Fluttershy out of the water too.
  577. 577.
    [spoiler]All that screaming uses a lot of air.[/spoiler]
  578. 578.
    >One more surface visit and you're at the barrels.
  579. 579.
    >Turning straight down, you use the bottom of the barrels to kick off.
  580. 580.
    >You dive deep, almost to the bottom, which you skim before heading to the surface.
  581. 581.
    >Reappearing past the barrels, you make one last shallow dive and follow the rising bottom to the shore.
  582. 582.
    >Rising from the water, you pull the panicked pegasus to your chest and wade onto land.
  583. 583.
    >Fluttershy is breathing heavily and her pupils are pinpricks, so you toss her over your shoulder.
  584. 584.
    >Onward!
  585. 585.
     
  586. 586.
    >A great deal of walking later, you are a bit drier.
  587. 587.
    >Also, Fluttershy is back to walking.
  588. 588.
    >Aaaand you are carefully avoiding being pulled into Applejack and Rainbow Dash's conversation.
  589. 589.
    >They're openly describing how they imagine your [spoiler]apparently inevitable[/spoiler] relationship with Fluttershy will go.
  590. 590.
    >This is after she finishes wooing you today, of course.
  591. 591.
    >Because that's totally working.
  592. 592.
    >Pshhh
  593. 593.
    >Luckily a wild Obstacle appears!
  594. 594.
    >Mudderdex informs you that its Canterlot Walls!
  595. 595.
    [spoiler]Berlin Walls just don't make sense here[/spoiler]
  596. 596.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/berlin-walls/
  597. 597.
    >You stand aside, and AJ helps Dash and Fluttershy over.
  598. 598.
    >She backs up, and with a running leap grabs the top edge, hauling herself over.
  599. 599.
    >You follow suit, and find Rainbow helping Fluttershy up.
  600. 600.
    >Applejack follows, then Rainbow leaps to the top.
  601. 601.
    >Scrambling over once more, you can't help but laugh.
  602. 602.
    >Fluttershy is on the bottom for the final wall, helping AJ up.
  603. 603.
    >Poor girl looks like she's going to collapse from the strain.
  604. 604.
    >And she still has Dash to go.
  605. 605.
    >With a hop, Applepone clears the wall.
  606. 606.
    >Rainbow quickly replaces her, and begins scrambling up as well.
  607. 607.
    >When Dash lifts herself, Flutters collapses into a panting heap.
  608. 608.
    “C'mon Fluttershy. This is the last one.”
  609. 609.
    >”Can't...tired...go on...”
  610. 610.
    “Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easy.” you chide, bending down.
  611. 611.
    >Picking up the buttercream mare, you lift her to the edge.
  612. 612.
    >She tentatively grasps it, and you shift your hands from her sides to her flanks.
  613. 613.
    >”OooOooh Anon!” she gasps as your hands sink in.
  614. 614.
    >You quickly push her over, and then pull yourself up.
  615. 615.
    >Flipping over, you land next to Fluttershy.
  616. 616.
    >She's looking at you with an odd smile.
  617. 617.
    >Of course, the other two are wearing shit-eating grins themselves.
  618. 618.
    >Bastards.
  619. 619.
    >You exhale sharply and storm ahead.
  620. 620.
    >Those two are the worst.
  621. 621.
     
  622. 622.
    >Next up is the Dirty Ballerina.
  623. 623.
    >A series of wide trenches filled with mud.
  624. 624.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/dirty-ballerina/
  625. 625.
    >You were supposed to leap across them.
  626. 626.
    >The early ones were hard for you.
  627. 627.
    >The later ones impossible.
  628. 628.
    >Adjusting these for their jumping abilities had made it beyond your own.
  629. 629.
    >Ah well, whats a bit more mud?
  630. 630.
    >Without breaking stride, you leap across the first.
  631. 631.
    >And the second.
  632. 632.
    >You barely make the third.
  633. 633.
    >Just five more to go.
  634. 634.
    >You just drop down into the mud.
  635. 635.
    >roll across the grass.
  636. 636.
    >Mud. Roll. Mud. Roll. Mud. Roll.
  637. 637.
    >And so it goes.
  638. 638.
    >The others pass you.
  639. 639.
    >You resist the urge to trip them.
  640. 640.
    >Fluttershy apologizes as she jumps over you.
  641. 641.
    >Such a nice pony...
  642. 642.
    >...not like that Rainbow Dash
  643. 643.
    >Can't possibly understand why she can't get any stallions.
  644. 644.
    >Nope, not at all.
  645. 645.
    >Finally you crawl out of the last trench.
  646. 646.
    >Those stallions were still just ahead of you.
  647. 647.
    >Time to overtake them.
  648. 648.
    >For up ahead you spy the next obstacle.
  649. 649.
    >And they haven't learned.
  650. 650.
     
  651. 651.
    >You quickly sprint to the long stretch of mud mounds and watery trenches.
  652. 652.
    http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/mud-mile/
  653. 653.
    >The girls are just starting to slip and slide into it.
  654. 654.
    >The stallions are a few ridges ahead.
  655. 655.
    >Slowly picking their way through.
  656. 656.
    >You wait for AJ to be on the second mound, with Dash helping push her up.
  657. 657.
    >A firm slap on the ass causes her to buck instinctively.
  658. 658.
    >Rainbow is launched back into the mud, and Applejack slides face-first down into it.
  659. 659.
    >”What the BUCK, Anon!” Rainbow shouts, angrily pulling herself up.
  660. 660.
    “No time to be lady-like, Madame Rainbow.” you laugh. “Y'all gotta get muddy if you want to catch up to those lady-colts up there.”
  661. 661.
    >Determination and understanding flashes in her eyes.
  662. 662.
    >Her hoof jerks out, and pulls Fluttershy down the slope into the mud.
  663. 663.
    >She sinks with an 'Eeep!'
  664. 664.
    >Applejack is none too pleased when you slide over the mud pile.
  665. 665.
    >”Now why in Equestria would ya do that, Anon! I bucked Rainbow, for pony's sake!”
  666. 666.
    >You crouch down next to her, and lean in.
  667. 667.
    “Don't tell Fluttershy...but maybe I like dirty ponies?” you whisper.
  668. 668.
    >Her eyes go wide as saucers as you leap into the next trench.
  669. 669.
    “Or maybe I just needed you to stop acting like Rarity and get going!”
  670. 670.
    >She snaps back into focus and belly-slides across the mud after you.
  671. 671.
    >You can't help but grin like a maniac as you return to the task at hand.
  672. 672.
    >Predictably, Fluttershy is the last one out.
  673. 673.
    >But much to Rainbows pleasure, you passed those fools halfway through.
  674. 674.
    >As Yellowquiet steps onto terra firma, she looks up at you.
  675. 675.
    >”Um, Anon?”
  676. 676.
    >You lean in, you can barely hear her.
  677. 677.
    >”I'm a dirty pony.”
  678. 678.
     
  679. 679.
    >Looks like you may have...
  680. 680.
    >... tipped-off Muddershy.
  681. 681.
     
  682. 682.
    >Day Onward Christian Mudders
  683. 683.
    >Only a handful of obstacles left.
  684. 684.
    >After trudging back and forth across an open field a few times, the next obstacle looms ahead.
  685. 685.
     
  686. 686.
    http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-AZ-2012-Sat-Gudko-1741434163-O.jpg
  687. 687.
     
  688. 688.
    >A very wide trench lies ahead of you, several drain pipes leading down to the bottom, and then up again on the other side.
  689. 689.
    >Taking a knee at the entrance, you grab Fluttershy.
  690. 690.
    >Stuffing her in ahead, she struggles to pull herself along.
  691. 691.
    >Her back is pressed against the pipe as she crawls along, dragging herself by her forehooves.
  692. 692.
    >You follow behind her after the other two disappear down pipes of their own.
  693. 693.
    >For humans, this obstacle isn't about height, its about breadth.
  694. 694.
    >Your wide shoulders are pressed against the sides of the pipe, making you stretch your arms out in front of you to pull yourself along.
  695. 695.
    >Its downhill, so it all goes smoothly.
  696. 696.
    >Fluttershy crawls out into the muddy water at the bottom and begins her ascent.
  697. 697.
    >With a mighty heave, you slide out of the pipe to take her place in the ditch.
  698. 698.
    >Keeping your head low (barbed wire and hair don't mix), you watch Fluttershy.
  699. 699.
    >It occurs to you that there are stallions in town that would give their back hooves to watch what you're watching.
  700. 700.
    >But your biggest concern isn't the rhythmic sway of her flanks, but how much her hooves are slipping.
  701. 701.
    >Not that you haven't noticed the other.
  702. 702.
    >That mare is built for foals, not drain pipes.
  703. 703.
    >But it sounds like Applejack made it through, and Applehips aren't anything to shake a stick at.
  704. 704.
    >Soon you catch up to Flutters, and have to wait for her to scramble a little further before advancing yourself.
  705. 705.
    >As she squirms ahead of you, her back hooves kicking uselessly, you get an idea.
  706. 706.
    >Waiting for her to tire herself out, you reach a hand forward.
  707. 707.
    >Your index finger leading the way, you trace it down the bottom of her hoof.
  708. 708.
    >It twitches away instinctively.
  709. 709.
    >Yes.
  710. 710.
    >Yesssss.
  711. 711.
    >Fluttershy's hooves are no match for the onslaught your fingers unleash.
  712. 712.
    >”A-A-Anoooooo-o-o-on! I-I-can't-!!!” she struggles to get out between her peals of laughter.
  713. 713.
    >”Will you two cut it out!” Rainbow snorts. “Those blockheads are gonna catch up with us!”
  714. 714.
    “I'm just trying to get Fluttershy to move faster.” you answer innocently. “You're welcome to help.”
  715. 715.
    >”Oh for bucks sake.” the raspy voice groans. “AJ, give me a hand here...”
  716. 716.
    >Suddenly the giggling pony in front of you is jerked up and out of the pipe.
  717. 717.
    >The way is clear!
  718. 718.
    >you scramble up and out, propelling yourself onto dry (well, dry-ish) land.
  719. 719.
    >With a spring in your step, you head towards the next obstacle, clearly in view down the path.
  720. 720.
    >Behind you, Fluttershy bounces happily after you.
  721. 721.
     
  722. 722.
    >The pool of ice water sits unnaturally blue before you.
  723. 723.
    >Two-by-tens stretch across it, narrow side up.
  724. 724.
    >A small pyramid of one-inch steps in the middle adds extra difficulty.
  725. 725.
     
  726. 726.
    http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-PA1-Sat-Gudkov-22231.jpg
  727. 727.
     
  728. 728.
    >You are so fucked.
  729. 729.
    >But the purist in you said you had to include this.
  730. 730.
    >Fluttershy comes up and looks at you.
  731. 731.
    >”A balance beam?”
  732. 732.
    “Mhmm. I'm gonna end up in that water. And it looks real cold.”
  733. 733.
    >”Oh Anon, don't be silly.” she giggles, then proceeds to strut across with ease.
  734. 734.
    “Yeah, well not all of us were runway models, you know!” you shout as she steps off on the other side.
  735. 735.
    >Dash and AJ are wobbling across now.
  736. 736.
    >Still grumbling under your breath, you gingerly step out onto the plank.
  737. 737.
    >Slowly sliding along, you bore holes into the wood with your stare.
  738. 738.
    >As you near the center pyramid, the tremolo of the board under your feet reaches a fever pitch.
  739. 739.
    >A raspy voice swears, and the splash that follows draws your attention.
  740. 740.
    >Big mistake.
  741. 741.
    >The sudden movement of your head throws off your balance, and you find yourself falling.
  742. 742.
    >With a tremendous splash, you bellyflop into the icy water.
  743. 743.
    “Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!”
  744. 744.
    >Wading swiftly across, you pull yourself out of the water.
  745. 745.
    >A dripping blue pegasus and smiling yellow menace greet you, with a scowl and smile, respectively.
  746. 746.
    >Orangepone finally wobbles across as Dash's coltfriends reach the boards.
  747. 747.
    >As the others start to leave, you notice one of them staring...
  748. 748.
    >You follow his gaze
  749. 749.
    >...to Rainbow Dash.
  750. 750.
    >Catching up, you step next to Dash.
  751. 751.
    “You know Rainbow, that one guy keeps staring at you. I think he likes you.”
  752. 752.
    >”You think so?”
  753. 753.
    >”Anon, Rainbow! We ain't got time for that. Keep it movin!”
  754. 754.
    >Turning back to the path, you catch Rainbow glancing back over her shoulder.
  755. 755.
    >You look back too, just in time to see lover boy fall in.
  756. 756.
    >Ha!
  757. 757.
    >Onwards!
  758. 758.
     
  759. 759.
    >The sun is starting to really get to you.
  760. 760.
    >You're in the final distance stretch now.
  761. 761.
    >Been a mile since Twinkletoes, and you miss that ice water sorely.
  762. 762.
    >At this point even Rainbow and Applejack are tiring out.
  763. 763.
    >You've got Fluttershy draped over your shoulders.
  764. 764.
    >She couldn't keep up with the grueling pace Dash set.
  765. 765.
    >Every so often she asks you about another fetish.
  766. 766.
    >The price you pay for having her so close to your head.
  767. 767.
    > Flutterhat is not desirable.
  768. 768.
    “No! Ahh! I can't even fathom how somepony could be into that!” you yell after her umpteenth guess.
  769. 769.
    >”Will y'all stop bickering already! I can see the next one.”
  770. 770.
    >”Aww yeah, finally.” Rainbow immediately perks up “I know we needed to pad the distance, but all this empty field stuff is totally lame.”
  771. 771.
    >You step up the pace as you try to scrub certain images from your memory.
  772. 772.
    >Where does she even get this stuff? Lovecraft?
  773. 773.
     
  774. 774.
    http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-AZ-2012-Sat-Gudko-1741436640-O.jpg
  775. 775.
     
  776. 776.
    >The monkey bars didn't strike you as a pony-friendly event, but Dash insisted that it was fine.
  777. 777.
    >Applejack agreed with her, so in it went.
  778. 778.
    >Both of them are swinging along, while Fluttershy hangs from the first rung.
  779. 779.
    >Stretching your arms, you reach for the first rung.
  780. 780.
    >Swinging to the second, you fall into a steady rhythm and soon reach the pinnacle.
  781. 781.
    >Downward monkey bars is a hard sensation to describe.
  782. 782.
    >It jerks your arms a little as your weight shifts to its lowered level.
  783. 783.
    >A splash behind you indicates that Fluttershy has fallen in.
  784. 784.
    >How do you know this?
  785. 785.
    >First, there was a lack of swearing.
  786. 786.
    >Second, the splash was so small it was almost dainty.
  787. 787.
    >Third, Rainbow is ahead of you, and AJ is next to you.
  788. 788.
    >Dropping safely onto land once more, you help pull the dripping Fluttershy out.
  789. 789.
    >Glancing up at the sun, an idea dawns on you.
  790. 790.
    >Picking up Fluttershy, you place her on your shoulders again.
  791. 791.
    >Oh man.
  792. 792.
    >That's so much better.
  793. 793.
    “Fluttershy, have I ever told you you're the coolest pony I know?”
  794. 794.
    >Dash groans at how awful that was.
  795. 795.
    >”Anon, ya ought to be ashamed of yourself.” AJ laughs. “That was terrible.”
  796. 796.
    >You just smile and start back down the path.
  797. 797.
    > As you walk, the heat doesn't bother you that much because you're...
  798. 798.
    >...wearing Muddershy.

The Mouth of Anonymous 1: Garden Arc

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