Unforeseen Consequences - Chapter 22


                                            >How long has it been since this training in chaos magic started? A week, maybe? Gotta give it to Discord. That old fart wasn’t kidding about how hard it would be. My body hurt in places I didn’t think they could.

                                            >There was a good side to all of this, though. I made some mad improvements in my magic, which of course, I used to do some redecorations in my room. Nothing major, just a sick paintjob, a change of furniture, and a little Jacuzzi because I always wanted one of those.

                                            >Except for the smell of dead fish, Resonance’s parts were left intact. After all, I wanted for him to choose what stuff to change once he comes here. Because that’s happening. Even if he has new parents or whatever, that dork gotta pay me visits often.

                                            >That’s part of the reason why, despite how tired I was, I still woke up at 5:00 a.m. to continue with this training. My magic ain’t perfect yet, and while cool, my redecorations still had nothing on the primo-quality stuff that Discord could do.

                                            >Too bad I couldn’t find the geezer. Usually he’s at the kitchen making breakfast around this time, but outside some creepy squid poking outta the cupboard, the place was empty.

                                            >After 15 minutes of waiting and getting covered in the squid’s ink, I decided to explore the house in search of Discord. I didn’t remember this joint being this messy.


                                            >My friends the dust rabbits were making a feast outta the thick layer of dust covering the living room, but with the exception of a dust sculpture of Discord standing on the tea table, there were no signs of him.

                                            >Same story repeated over the entire house. The second floor’s hallways had 3 meters tall cobwebs frickin’ everywhere. Each room looked like a tornado passed through. The bathrooms… well, that’s something better left to the imagination.

                                            >I even looked outside the house. The entire island was like a huge dumpster thanks to all the stuff I’ve been creating during the trainings.

                                            >The rooftop had a thick layer of some purple goo bubbling and flowing everywhere. Still, no trace of Discord.

                                            >The sky of the Void palpitated with some faint orange hues, meaning that I wasted like two hours in this whole thing. I traced a circle with my paw to create a couch and plummeted on it.

                                            “Note for myself: next time I create a comfy place to rest, make sure to put some extra effort in stuffing it with feathers instead of rubber foam”.

                                            >At least it was better than the rest of house. Frickin’ mess that it was. Not my problem, though. I started toying with my mane and thinking on what I actually did care about.

                                            “Where the heck is that old fart?! I’ve checked every nook and cranny of this place except for… his room”.

                                            >Reasons why I never looked there was ‘cause it’s just too darn obvious and Discord ain’t about the obvious. The other is… well the geezer has made it clear that’s a no-go zone.


                                            >At that point I had two options: Go to his room and get transformed into an icky toad, or just chill for the rest of the day. Which was hella boring. I jumped outta the couch and flickered it far away with my talon.

                                            “What’s chaos without some risks? Let’s break into his room, baby!”

                                            >I moved my trusty paw and in the blink of an eye, I was standing right outside of Discord’s door. Gotta say, this ain’t your run of the mill door. No, this one was made outta some orange vines constantly moving around.

                                            >Same weirdo vines that at my arrival, created a pattern with flowers that read “COME IN!”

                                            “Aw, ain’t you a cute bunch? Don’t worry, I just wanna take a little peek to see if the old guy is in there. Promise it won’t take long”.

                                            >The moment I moved my paw to the cabbage that served as the doorknob, the vines preventively sprouted the sharpest thorns I’ve ever seen. Heck, they were almost like, combat knives or something.

                                            >I calmly moved my paw away. Like clockwork, the thorns retracted and a new pattern of flowers emerged. It read, “GET OUT!”

                                            “Whoa! For a buncha plants, you guys are turbo jerks! But if you think that’s gonna stop me…!”

                                            >I frantically rubbed my talons and paw together. Didn’t take even a minute to super charge them with high voltage electricity.

                                            “You guys are in for a shock!”

                                            >Small but powerful bolts of lightning emanated from my limbs as I adopted a karate stance. I smirked at their new floral message, “THIS IS NOT OVER!”

                                            >It just took me one blow to reduce the door to just a couple of charred flower petals. I dusted off some green goo that fell on my shoulder and walked into Discord’s room.

                                            “Hey, old man! Where have you… wow!”


                                            >Now this was something I didn’t see coming. Like, this is Discord. His room should be the strangest place in the universe, right? Well, unless my eyes were broken, what I saw was the opposite.

                                            >No black holes to other dimensions, no talking floorboards, no nothing! Seriously, he only had a single bed, some old furniture and a single picture with that cutie pegasi standing on a drawer.

                                            >As for the old guy himself, he was completely absorbed into something he was working on at a drafting table. Whatever it was, it had him completely on the ropes.

                                            >Every few seconds he’d grunt and toss a sheet of paper over his shoulder, which in turn exploded into bubbles, rainbows, confetti and whatnot the moment it touched the floor.

                                            “Yo, old man! Whatchu doin’ there?”

                                            >Like, Discord was so into his work that he genuinely got startled when I placed my talons over his shoulder. He covered the papers with his body and shot me a strange look, “What do you want?!”

                                            “C-Calm down, dude! I just wanna know about the training… Are you okay? You don’t look like… well, you.”

                                            >Silly question, he obviously wasn’t. Not with those massive bags under his eyes, and coffee stains all over his white beard. Poor guy was even shaking like a wet puppy.

                                            >Discord rubbed his groggy face and yawned, “Oh yes, my dear. I’m perfectly fine! The training… it’s now? I thought it didn’t start until an hour”.

                                            “It was supposed to start like two hours ago, but… why don’tcha get some sleep? We can take the day off if you wanna”.


                                            >He vehemently shook his head while snapping his talons to materialize a mug filled with hot coffee, “No, no! Just… let me get my groove back.” Discord sipped the mug itself while splashing the boiling hot coffee on his face. Kinda amazing how that washed away his deplorable looks, “Ah, much better! Onto today’s business!”

                                            >That felt more like an act than anything else. I crossed my arms, and raised an eyebrow. Discord of course ignored it and snapped his talons to bring the two of us inside the living room.

                                            >At least, I thought it was the living room. Like, I know it was already hella messy, but not to the point where the place was a literal jungle made outta dust.

                                            “Gotta give it to the dust bunnies: Little guys work fast. Didn’t think they’d make all of this in like an hour or so.”

                                            >Discord scratched his chin as he observed the miniature volcano in the ceiling erupting with maple syrup, “Well, that’s usually what happens when you left them unchecked.” He took a deep breath and clapped, “Alright, here’s the training for today: you’ll clean the entire house. Isn’t that great?”

                                            “What?! I ain’t doing that! Do I look like a frickin’ maid or something?”

                                            >Discord waved his paw dismissively, “Oh please, is not that bad! Give thanks they didn’t build a fortified citadel this time! Now, where was I? Ah, yes! You must use your magic to clean the house, in a non-destructive way and without just disappearing everything. Bring in some creativity, please.”


                                            “Dude, this is like, the biggest cope-out ever! Besides, what’s up are those dumb rules? I’m super creative! If you don’t believe me, then get ready, ‘cause this is gonna rock your socks off!”

                                            >At my command, a pointy wizard hat appeared on my head. With another circular motion of my paw, I created an army of brooms, buckets, and all sorta of cleaning stuff. Then… nothing happened.

                                            >I stared with a thousand-yard stare at the product of my failed spell, and then at Discord who simply gave me this shrug.

                                            “Yeah, this played better in my head.”

                                            >Discord caressed his beard and poked one of the brooms with the tip of his tail, “I’m sure it did. Just for curiosity’s sake, what exactly did you want to do here, my dear?”

                                            >I let out a sigh and tossed away the wizard hat. Then, I grabbed two brooms and started moving them up-and-down, “Well, this stuff was supposed to go around marching and cleaning, while I commanded them like some sorta powerful wizard.”

                                            >His eyes opened as wide as plates, “I was afraid you were going to say that. I’m sorry, my dear; but that idea is a big big no-no”.

                                            “What the heck? But this is totally fair game! Since when do you get this picky?”

                                            >Sweat started to appear on Discord’s face as he started to pull from his beard, “Listen, this is for our own good. Just pick something… less problematic, alright?”

                                            >Less problematic, huh? I know how it goes, the company used that kinda garbage to tell their drones to be well behaved. Gotta spin that stuff into something fun.


                                            >Luckily, I got a nice idea right away. During the trainings, I’ve seen Discord summoning all kinds of crazy creatures like it was nothing. Maybe I could do that.

                                            “I ain’t what you’d call a nice girl, but how about my plan B? Like, I’m gonna bring up a buncha cute, little critters, a’ight? And then they are happily gonna clean up this mess for me. Oh! And they are gonna be singing something cheesy like “boopity, bopity, boop” or whatever. Maybe throw a flying elephant into the mix too, I dunno.”

                                            >Discord slapped his face, “Out of all the ideas you could’ve had, you came up with that one.” He then curled up on the dust and covered his face, “May the skies of the Void have mercy on our souls and wallets.”

                                            “Gimme a break! I was just joking! You don’t need to act… all… what the heck is that sound?”

                                            >It was like a car coming near the house, there were even highlights piercing through the windows. Discord quickly snapped his talons to cover them with sun blinds.

                                            >A few moments later, I heard the car’s engine stopping and some heavy steps going in direction to the door. We both stood silent until the doorbell rang twice.

                                            >This is when I realized how stupid all this was. Like, we have reality-bending powers. Who cares what’s on the other side of the door.

                                            “Know what?  I’ll just tell them to get lost or whatever.”

                                            >Discord stopped me before I could open the door. I just couldn’t explain why he looked so… determined? It’s like, he was about to face an execution or something, “No, my dear. As your teacher, it’s my duty to take responsibility for your naiveness. Just remember me for what I was. The best draconequus who ever lived.”

                                            “Dude, seriously?”

                                            >He proudly nodded, “The very best! Now if you excuse me! I’ve a date with destiny”. Discord’s ears dropped as he placed his talons on the doorknob.


                                            >The moment he opened the door, a giant hand with four fingers, covered in a creepy puffy white glove grabbed Discord by the neck, pulling him outside the house. The door was slammed shut right after.

                                            “Whoa! DISCORD!”

                                            >I desperately tried to open the door, but it was completely locked. Not even my magic could burst the darn thing. I bit one of paw’s claws and praying to all the heavens for Discord’s safety, pressed my ear against the door.

                                            >There wasn’t much that I could hear from here. Just Discord’s voice muffled voice and what felt like a rabid duck honking. Then, I jumped back as something started to violently knock on the door.

                                            >Thankfully it didn’t last much. Once the banging stopped, I heard the engine coming to life again and the car going away. There was no sign of Discord, though. Hated to admit it but I started to get worried.

                                            >I scratched my right arm and gulped down, before calling for Discord.

                                            “H-Hey, old man? You okay there?”

                                            >The door slowly opened, revealing an incredibly battered Discord leaning on a crutch. Like, the guy had a massively swollen cheek, a black eye on the opposite side and more importantly: He was missing an arm, a leg and both horns.

                                            “Geez, dude! What the heck happened out there?!”

                                            >Discord slowly limped towards the stairs, as he replied with a tired voice, “Something that not even my powers can handle: corporate lawyers.” He started to climb the stairs one step at a time, “Now if you excuse me, I’ll… take a little rest. Please clean the house, my dear”.

                                            “S-Sure, dude! You take a nap or whatever. I’ll handle this, no problem!”

                                            >He nodded before getting out of sight. A’ight, Eris; now it’s you against the dirtiest house in the galaxy. A house that’s powered by reality-bending magic.

                                            “Bah! Why am I getting worried? I’ve dealt with Resonance’s shenanigans, this is gonna be a piece of cake!”

                                            >Just as I said that, a giant pony-eater plant made out of dust sprawled from the floor, and boy, it looked like it wanted some draconequus for breakfast.