Unforeseen Consequences - Chapter 24


                                            >There’s a phrase that Discord has been repeating like a broken record ever since we started with this training: “Things are not what they seem.” Of course, during this week there has been plenty examples of those words being true. That’s fact I was really glad about, otherwise this new life would be hella boring.

                                            >A very good example of this is that, while many horror books, shows, and especially cheesy movies paint a very bad image about being trapped inside a spider silk cocoon, now that I actually was inside of one, I could safely say that it ain’t as bad as it sounds.

                                            >Sure, I couldn’t move at all, not even to trace a circle with my paw, breathing was hard, and it was dark as heck inside here; but lemme tell you something. Spider silk felt like heaven to the touch.

                                            >I could still hear a lot of activity happening outside my cocoon. Clattering noises, distant murmurs, lots of spider legs rushing at every direction, and a very hoarse snoring. Based on these noises, a couple things became obvious: I need to get their attention, and someone really needed to see a doctor about that snoring.

                                            >If I could do anything with my limbs, I’d probably teleported out of the cocoon and have some grand entrance, then get rid of all these cobwebs and maybe have a sandwich. However, I had to limit myself to wriggle like crazy and yell whatever words I could muster.

                                            “Mfm! FMM FF MFMMF FFMF!”

                                            >What I actually wanted to say was: “Hey! Get me outta here!” but you know, cocoon and all that made everything I said to sound muffled. It did work though, and that’s all that mattered.


                                            >Except for the loud snoring, everything came to a sudden silence. I repeated the same process again, this time with a much better effect. I could hear a bit of hustling, followed by what I could only guess, were thousands of tiny spider legs climbing on my cocoon.

                                            >In a way that I can only describe as incredibly skilled, the little spiders unwrapped the cocoon’s silk until my head my free. Now, I did have many things to tell to my captors, but as it turned out, being inside a cocoon for a long time made me, above all else, want to grasp for air.

                                            >Despite the dim illumination, and the fact my eyes had to adjust after being in the dark for an hour or so, I could still realize a few important details of my current situation.

                                            >Probably the best place to start is by saying that I was hanging upside down, which was kind of a hassle, actually. Chaos magic had made able to endure hits that could’ve easily killed me before, but I could still feel them just like normal.

                                            >Bad posture and orientation aside, I was actually surprised to find out I was inside a spacious attic. A fact that genuinely surprised since Discord never mentioned we had one of these, especially not one the size of a public plaza.

                                            >Now, I’ve never actually owned an attic, but thanks to how thinks worked in my old world, I’ve been “lucky” enough to be in plenty of different attics. There’s usually some variations here and there, mostly in the type of roofs and construction materials, but they all share a common thing.


                                            >Every attic is used to store all the stuff that everyone says they’ll one day use but never really do. In other words, junk. However, back in the slums there’s a saying that goes “the devil is in the details”. I didn’t know any devil, but I knew that details are often more important than the big picture.

                                            >This attic was proof enough of that. It had to be, this is Discord’s attic after all. While the entire place was covered in thick layers upon thick layers of cobwebs, the shapes of the junk stored in here was like no other attic I’ve been into.

                                            >At least, I don’t remember any other attic having what looked like company’s vehicles, equipment, and other less describable stuff. I absolutely had to take a dive in this place after I cleaned it.

                                            >On that note, I have never been good at telling patterns, that was more of Resonance’s thing, but I didn’t really need him to tell me that this network of cobwebs spawned from a giant central piece located right at the opposite side of where I was hanging from.

                                            >Of course, it’d be incredibly dull if this central cobweb would only differentiate from the others in size. That’s not how the Void works. This cobweb was not only much more complex than the others, but it also featured a humongous spider on it.

                                            >As I’ve said, when it comes to the Void, things ain’t what they seem. When someone hears the words “giant spider”, that someone would most surely picture a nightmarish monster. This couldn’t be further from this particular giant spider.


                                            >In reality, this giant spider wore a pink sweater that read “#1 mom”, hummed a cozy tune, and was diligently and lovingly knitting a sweater for each and every single one of her thousands upon thousands of children.

                                            >So I had a loving mom, with her cute children surrounding her. It’d be a perfect scene if it wasn’t for that endless snoring. I pride myself of having a sick sense of hearing, but despite that, I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, and which was starting to get on my nerves.

                                            >Nevertheless, the whole picture still melted my heart. That said, maybe I was a bit biased towards this spider and her large family. It ain’t like I didn’t knew her, she was the same kind spider I met during my first day here.

                                            “Heya there! Long time no see, huh?”

                                            >The giant spider turned her eight eyes at me for a moment, before going back to her sweater knitting, “Ah yes, yes! How long has it been, mmm? A week, I think? Sorry sweetie, but I can’t speak too much. I have to prepare the little huns for the big, big event! Is there anything you want, though?”

                                            “Eh, why not? If it ain’t much to ask, would you mind putting me straight? I’m kinda starting to get dizzy from being upside down.”

                                            >The giant spider waved one of her legs dismissively, “Ah yes, yes! I’m so sorry for that, sweetie. You see, the little huns are still learning how to properly set up their prey. I’m always telling them that no matter what, they’ve to be good hosts! Don’t worry, though. They’ll fix that little oopsie right away.”


                                            >She wasn’t really kidding. At her little command, a group of young spiders dressed in finely knitted sweaters gently lifted my cocoon and put me straight. Well, as straight as a bunch of tiny spiders could.

                                            “Ah, now this is what I was talking about! Now I can actually think better! Which makes me wonder something… like, I ain’t much of a nosy gal, but what’s this big event you were talking about?”

                                            >The giant spider giggled, “Oh, goodness! My little huns didn’t tell you? It’s their great coming into adulthood! They’ll eat me and then spread their cute legs into the world!”

                                            “Oh dude, I was getting worried for a moment! You see, these lil’ rascals said something about you having to eat me, but that can’t be right… right?”

                                            >“No, no sweetie! That’s actually correct! I will devour you before my little huns do the same for me. That’s all part of the great event.”

                                            >It ain’t like I didn’t knew the answer already. There was no reason to even doubt the little spiders, after all, Resonance’s books never said anything about spiders being notorious liars. The reason for my question was to confirm the bad news and use that to get to the actual meat and potatoes of the subject.

                                            “A’ight, so you actually wanna kill me… why, though? I haven’t done anything to you guys, and it ain’t like I’m gonna be tasty. Like, seriously dude! I’ve lived among literal garbage my whole life, you don’t want to eat someone like that!”

                                            >Once the giant spider was finished with the last finely knitted sweater, and all her children had covered the entire network of cobwebs, she let out one of those giggles that seem fine and cute on the surface, but which entail much darker intentions behind them.


                                            >“The taste has nothing to do with it, sweetie!” She cheerfully said as she crawled to me, “You could say it has more to do with your nutritional value. Very important thing for developing spiders, you see!”

                                            “What the heck are you talking about?! Like, have you looked at me? I’m a total stick, dude!”

                                            >To my understanding, spiders didn’t work like a hive mind. That was supposed to be more of a bees and ants thing. However, I did notice that every time the giant spider said anything, her children would repeat it to perfection, creating a creepy echo effect, “Oh, I’m not talking about that kind of nutrition, sweetie!”

                                            “I’m sorry, b-but I think you just lost me”.

                                            >The giant spider’s eight eyes glowed, not with malice but with something more akin to excitement, “Don’t worry, sweetie! It’s actually pretty simple. I’ll eat you so I can gain your powers. Then my little huns will do the same to me. Then, they’ll continue the cycle until everything’s under our control. See? I told you it was easy”.

                                            “Well, I’ll give you that’s a pretty solid plan. Just an itty bitty question. What the heck will you do when Discord steps up to kick your butts? ‘Cause I ain’t the top-dog around these parts”.

                                            >“I’m sorry, sweetie… but you mean this old fool?” The giant spider rubbed two of her front legs as a pack of the little ones brought up a cocoon to her. Then, they unwrapped a piece of it, revealing Discord’s head, “I’m not sure he’ll be able to step up to anything in that position”.


                                            >I couldn’t really argue against that snarky remark. Discord was sleeping like a baby, a very loud baby. I probably should’ve considered that he was the source of the loud, endless snoring that didn’t let me think straight.

                                            >I also should’ve imagined that Discord drooled a whole lot when sleeping. It was a weirdly cute sight, if I gotta be honest. Not ‘cause of Discord, but ‘cause of the little spiders playing in the newly formed pools of drool that formed around him.

                                            >Cute, but mostly worrying to me. Even if Discord was creepy, annoying and hella arrogant, I had to admit that by that point in time, I also grew to sorta see him as that friend who knows a lot. A mentor I think is the actual word.

                                            >I suppose that’s why I lost any sympathy for the giant spider, her children, and any other living spider in any world that ever was. They might hold a war against the terrible mosquitoes, but they were just as bad as them.

                                            “You fat cow! W-What did you do to him?! Discord, Discord! Wake up, old fart! We’ve got a big problem over here!”

                                            >The giant spider placed one of her legs under my chin as the nest rattled, “No, no sweetie! Don’t waste your pretty voice like that! We didn’t do anything to him, he’s just a very heavy sleeper, you see. My little huns simply found him sleeping like a baby in one of our cobwebs. Poor thing must’ve been pretty tired! He even was missing parts of his body, you see! We simply took our chance, and what a chance it was!”


                                            “Why the heck are you doing this?! I thought we were pals!”

                                            >“Whatever are you talking about, sweetie? Of course we’re friends, and friends help each other! You’ll help me to give my little huns unspeakable powers so they can take over the Void and then conquer Equestria, and I’ll help you to have a quick death! I’ll even give you a final wish!”

                                            >I had many, many bad words to tell to her. I eat all of them and decided to play along. This was like dealing with a patrol, or a snitch. I had to play along with their game until some chance to escape or kick them where the sun doesn’t shine popped up. Otherwise it’d be me who would get the short end of the stick.

                                            “Okay! For the record, this ain’t my final wish. I just wanna know what that Equestria thing you mentioned is”.

                                            >The giant spider gently passed her leg along my check and smiled, “It’s a pretty important place, probably the most important realm of all, and that’s all you need to know about Equestria. Now, what’s your final wish going to be, sweetie? As much as I’d like to, we really can’t talk all day. There’s a big, big event waiting to happen, you see!”

                                            “Darn it! Just… gimme a second, a’ight? Gotta think on this stuff.”

                                            >“As long as it doesn’t take all day, sweetie! There’s a small rule, though. For obvious reasons, you can’t ask to be freed. Oh! And you can’t ask us to release those talons either! I know very well how you draconequuses use those pesky things, you see!”


                                            >A simple question with complex solutions. Not exactly what I’d consider my strength since that’s the stuff Resonance used to take care of. However, I was the one who refined what needed to be refined so our plans stayed simple, and simple is what I was gonna do.

                                            >Instead of trying to come up with my own way to scheme when I didn’t have neither the time nor resources to do it, I’d simply think the way my dork used to. Still convoluted, and maybe the end result wouldn’t be as refined, but I did know how that colt processed things to perfection.

                                            >First I had to consider that I was tied up tightly enough to prevent my paw from casting any spell, Discord’s was outta commission, and any sudden moves would only put me closer to the dinner table.

                                            >So my only option was something oddly nostalgic: A plain old scam. Of course, now I had to ask myself: what the heck could I scam her with? The way in which these deals go, is that you use the trust of someone, usually with something nice, and then rob them outta everything.

                                            >I didn’t have anything nice to offer, but I did have a final wish and that spider got my spell casting limb wrong! Those were my two aces under my imaginary sleeve. I only had to come up with something simple enough to not make the spiders suspicious.

                                            >In other words, this looped back to what I’m actually good at: keeping it simple, and a simple request is what I thought when my eyes glanced over Discord. He was still asleep, but his drooling was now more like a miniature river flowing through the attic’s floor.


                                            >I let out a sigh and did my best to put up a defeated face when addressing the giant spider.

                                            “Know what? Screw this, dude! There’s no point in asking for anything if I’m gonna get eaten. Just gimme a glass of water and let’s get this over with.”

                                            >I’m actually not sure if spiders are supposed to be this naïve, but none of these guys saw anything wrong with my act. In a matter of a couple minutes, a group of the little ones came carrying a glass filled with water and tried to pour it into my mouth.

                                            >Of course, I turned my head away from them and instead made my final, and most important plead to the giant spider.

                                            “Hey, I don’t wanna sound rude, but can I grab the glass by myself? You know, final moment and all that”.

                                            >The giant spider ponderously rubbed one of her front legs under her venom dripping fangs. Finally, and after what it felt like hours, she shrugged, “Well, I don’t see problem with that, sweetie. I just hope that you understand that we can only release your paw. Talons and draconequuses can be a dangerous thing for growing spiders, you see.”

                                            “But that’s my good arm! I do everything with…! Eh, fine! Have it your way. Just gimme the water, a’ight? I’m thirsty as heck.”

                                            >I didn’t cast my magic once my paw was free. Like a pretentious food critic at an equally pretentious food joint, I took my sweet time moving it around, and then sipping that glass of water until the very last drop. It tasted like regular water.


                                            >“I guess that’s it for the final wish!” The giant spider joyfully said, “I’ve to say sweetie, it’s rather refreshing to have a prey with such a simple petition. We usually have to skip this part because everyone is always asking for the most ridiculous stuff, you see. Now, I hope you’re ready for the big, big event!”

                                            “Oh yeah! There’s something I gotta tell you about that plan”.

                                            >I placed my paw on the giant spider’s head and gently traced a circle on it. There’s no words to describe how huge my smirk was at that moment.

                                            “I hope you guys know how to swim”.

                                            >Only thing the hella confused spider could say was, “What?” before an eruption of drool was shot from Discord’s face. Soon enough, it transformed into tsunami that completely submerged the entire attic into the gross liquid.

                                            >Considering I was swimming inside who knows how many gallons of drool, I quickly casted another a two-part spell. It’d put me inside a diving suit, while removing any trace of icky drool from my body.

                                            >Outside of watching Discord doing similar things countless times, I actually had no frickin’ clue how to perform a spell like this. So it’s no wonder as to why it came out all messed up. Instead of a diving suit, I got a snorkeling mask like the ones in my travel magazines. Except this one was barely cobbled together by duct tape.

                                            >The spell didn’t remove any drool from my body either. Instead, it changed the drool itself for soapy water and then, almost like if I was thrown inside a washing machine, it started to create some hella violent tides.


                                            >So of course, between the soap foam and the uncontrollable tides it was impossible for me to make heads and tails on what the heck was actually going on. The only thing I was able to tell for sure, is that at some point I was shot through the floor and hit head-first on one of the walls in the second floor hallway.

                                            >In theory, I could’ve turned the spell off at that moment, after all, the stream of soapy water hadn’t flooded this part of the house just yet. In reality, the hit got me stunned for long enough to get dragged into the water ride again.

                                            >What actually saved me was a bit ironic actually. As I was being pulled into the depths of the hallway by the soapy tide, my talons got stuck in one of the few cobwebs that didn’t get washed away.

                                            >This gave me enough opportunity to adjust my snorkeling mask and assess the situation. It sucked. Sure, 99.99% of the cobwebs were gone, and the little spider army was nowhere to be seen.

                                            >However, I could see their mother doing everything in her power to not have the same fate as her kin, and worse yet, she was coming straight at me with clear intentions of dipping her fangs in me.

                                            >It’s true that in theory, I could’ve just casted a spell to get rid of my problem. As huge and scary as she was, and as much as a rookie as I was, a giant spider was no match against my magic. In execution, my stress levels were bigger than an air traffic controller so I couldn’t really do any spell casting.


                                            >My solution to not get bitten by a couple of gigantic venomous fangs was actually simple. I let myself to get carried by the tide. Sure, the cobweb was holding my talons in place, but the move made the giant spider to get entangled in the cobweb and free me from it in the process.

                                            >As the two of us were being washed away to who knows where, I noticed on the distance that the bathroom’s door was slammed open. I also noticed that the giant spider ripped the cobweb and accelerated past me. She nailed her eight legs a bit past the bathroom, creating a giant wall of poisonous doom.

                                            >A silly idea appeared on my mind, one that came mostly from the cartoons me and Resonance watched whenever we passed in front of a TV store. Before getting to the spider, I grabbed to dear life to the bathroom’s door frame and did my best to swim to the toilet.

                                            >I could hear the spider forcefully making her way towards me, but even if she managed to come close to grab me, it was already too late for her. When I pulled from the toilet’s chain, a massive whirlpool sucked every bit of the soapy water, cobwebs and spiders into the toilet.

                                            >Last thing to go was the giant spider. Her head was clogged in the toilet, venom dripped from her fangs as she maniacally yelled at me, “You’re the worst trouble maker I’ve ever met! Just wait! We’ll be back bigger, and better! We’ll get you and eat you slowly! Then we’ll do the same to the Void and we’ll cover Equestria under webs! We’ll…!”

                                            “Yeah, yeah I get it! Shut up already, will ya?”

                                            >In any other situation, that would have sent a chill down my spine. Not this time, I was too tired to deal with this garbage. I used my magic to create a plunger and used it to send her down the drain.


                                            >Once the toilet was back to work again, I threw the plunger away, let out a very tired sigh and sat at the hallway to admire my work. Sure, there were some doors missing here and there, the ceiling had a massive hole, but place was squeaky clean.

                                            “Well, there’s a good side to all of this. I don’t have to deal with the bathrooms anymore”.

                                            >I heard a loud yawning behind me, followed by something petting my head. I jolted back up, and saw Discord, now with all his limbs back, giving me a sleepy smile, “Good job with the cleaning, my dear. I don’t think the house has ever looked this good”.

                                            >I really wanted to slap his face for everything that has happened. Not only he left me to my own devices in that dust jungle, but he was sleeping like a frickin’ baby while a giant spider tried to eat us both. I wanted to yell at him for putting me at all these risks, but I didn’t.

                                            “Thanks dude, but I ain’t finished yet. Nice to see you back in one piece, though”.

                                            >No, I actually returned the smile to him. I did it ‘cause despite everything, I was happy to see him alive, and ‘cause I was just too tired to get angry.

                                            >Discord groggily rubbed his eyes and waved his paw dismissively, “Oh, don’t worry about that, my dear. You’ve done enough, I can take it from here if you want”.

                                            “Nah, it’s just the kitchen and the junkyard we have for a front yard. I can do those in no time!”

                                            >He stretched his limbs and yawned, “Well, in that case I hope you don’t mind that I tag alone. I’m awfully curious to see your methods for cleaning”.


                                            “A’ight! Then get ready, ‘cause I’m on a roll, baby!”

                                            >The kitchen was the only area inside the house waiting to be cleaned. The problem with it was that pesky squid in the cupboards and all the ink it was throwing all over the place.

                                            >I’m sure there were thousands upon thousands of convoluted and equally spectacular ideas that I could’ve applied here. I decided to stick with what had worked today: Keep things simple. Of course, that didn’t mean that I had to keep them boring.

                                            >The inspiration for my solution, as many of them do, came from my life in the slums and more specifically, the stuff me and Resonance used to do together. Well, what I always did for him. That colt might be a prodigy in engineering, but he either couldn’t cook to save his life, nor did he care in the slightest about the subject.

                                            >I remembered how he would disregard any cooking book that he came to stumble upon, and how uninterested he always was whenever I pointed out at the exotic chefs from exotic, and extinct, lands that sometimes were featured in my magazines. It’s good I wasn’t like that, otherwise we would have died from burned oatmeal poisoning a long time ago.

                                            >What I did was to cast a spell to teleport the squid from the cupboards to the table, and since I learned my lesson about trying to do many things with a single spell, I casted a second one to make me look like one of those exotic chefs.

                                            “So here’s the deal, my ink-loving dude! You clean this mess and get the heck outta my house or I’ll use my sharp friends here to make sashimi with you!”


                                            >While my attire wasn’t as flashy as I had expected, it did its job well enough to put the fear of chaos into the squid, or maybe it was the couple of hella big knives I was holding. Point is, it worked.

                                            >The squid let out what I could only describe as a horrified squeak, before promptly sucking back all its ink and disappearing through the sink. I’ve to admit, I was kinda disappointed that it didn’t bring any resistance. I’ve always wanted to eat that sorta fancy food.

                                            >On the good side, Discord was fairly happy with my method. He let out a heartily laugh and patted my back, “Marvelous, my dear! That was a fairly entertaining display of chaos, not to say cost-effective too!”

                                            “What can I say? I’m feeling pretty inspired today”.

                                            >“I’m sure of that. Though, there’s still the problem with the quality of your materials, but I can let it slide this time”.

                                            “Gosh darn it! You wanna see some top tier materials?! Then I’ll show some frickin’ top tier materials! I’m gonna deal with that stupid junk yard with stuff that would make a company exec to look like… well, me!”

                                            >Discord let out a small chuckle and sat at the table, “Such passion for chaos! It almost makes me want to return our front yard to its previous state, but egad this training has already took far too long, and I’d rather conclude it here”.

                                            “Wait… you already dealt with that? But I told you I was gonna do it!”


                                            >Discord snapped his talons, making an actually fairly normal newspaper to appear on the table, along with a couple plates of spaghetti covered in yogurt, “Oh, don’t get so angry, my dear. I’m sure you’ll have your chance fairly soon. For now, let’s enjoy a healthy meal and the start of a 3 day long rest!”

                                            >I wanted to complain about that, but my stomach demanded that I took a seat and eat. So that’s what I did, but not without noticing the name of Discord’s newspaper. It was the “Equestria Bugle”.

                                            “So… we’re having three days off, huh? That’s kinda long don’tcha think?”

                                            >Discord shrugged and took a bite outta his food, “Well, do you remember what I told you about the importance of resting? We’ve been working quite hard this past week, and I thought it was necessary to have some time to cool off.”

                                            “Uh-huh, and you plan to go somewhere during this time? Like, I dunno… Equestria?”

                                            >Discord put his plate away and shot me a cautionary look, “Probably I will, or probably I won’t. The real question here is: How do you know that place?”

                                            “A giant spider that almost ate us both told me… and like, come on dude! It’s on the name of your newspaper. It’s like you were begging me to ask!”


                                            >He took a glance at the newspaper and slapped his face, “For the record, my dear; I usually don’t do this kind of silly mistakes. Since the cat is out of the bag, I suppose it won’t hurt to tell you the necessary. I’ll be visiting Equestria a couple times for… business reasons”.

                                            “A’ight, that’s odd. What frickin’ business could you possibly…?”

                                            >Discord vehemently shook his head, “I’m afraid that’s a story for another day, my dear. Don’t be worried, though. I’ll tell you everything, and I do mean everything soon enough. Which, if there’s no setbacks, it’ll be by the end of our little holiday”.

                                            “How do I know you ain’t lying?”

                                            >“Well, I guess that you’ll have to wait and see! In the meantime, I suggest that you just enjoy yourself. After all, the Void isn’t exactly lacking in entertainment, and as long as you don’t ask any complicated question, I’ll be more than glad to show you a couple of especially interesting spots!”

                                            “You know that if you don’t tell me, then I’ll kick your teeth in, right?”

                                            >“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, my dear”.