Unforeseen Consequences - Chapter 30


                                            >If there’s something I gotta be thankful about the Void and Discord, is that they taught me more about myself than an entire life in the slums ever could. I had new passions and goals now, I realized what I really liked and hated, I learned who and what I really wanted to be

                                            >I also realized that no matter how hard you try, there are things which are simply impossible to replace. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved the Void, both the good and the bad, but sometimes I wished to have a little bit of… I suppose, normalcy is the word for it.

                                            >By normalcy I didn’t mean having a boring and painful routine like the one I had in the slums. Working from sun to sun just to get some scraps of food on the table, digging whatever I could find from the trash, all of that are things I can easily live without.

                                            >What I truly missed were the moments the void in all its fantastic wonders couldn’t give. I longed for simple things like a sunset, the laughter of my dork, or just a gentle breeze of wind flowing through my mane.

                                            >More than anything, I missed someone to speak with. Don’t get me wrong, despite how big of a jerk he could be, Discord always had something interesting to say, and was also a surprisingly good listener… but he hadn’t been around these past days, and when he’s back, he just locked himself in his room until the next day.


                                            >So, even if I still found our training sessions fun, everything after felt so… empty. I usually just spent my afternoons, or at least the void’s version of one, either exploring the surrounding islands to Discord’s house or what I was doing right now: Laying on my bed, thinking for the nth time on how I could improve my room.

                                            >I thought on changing the wallpaper from a beach to a forest, maybe adding a fourth sofa, or a bottomless bucket filled with soda cans.

                                            “What about Equestria?”

                                            >Those words thoughtlessly escaped my lips as a small whisper.  I rolled on my back and jumped off my bed. Then I quietly left my room with my head down and my mind looking for answers.

                                            >Only thing I knew about that place is that it was definitely something big. I mean, why else would Discord avoid talking about it every single time I asked? What was so important that he went there every single day? And more importantly…

                                            “So, how the heck does Equestria looks like anyway? Like, for sure it must be better than the dump I come from, but…”

                                            >This little question spawned so many wild ideas that I lost track of everything surrounding me. I imagined a futuristic country filled with happy suckers going around in hover boards, or a kingdom of nothing but sick beaches and surfing penguins.

                                            “Ouch! Who the heck put this stupid door here?!”


                                            >Took me a couple seconds to realize it, but all this aimless floating had brought me right in front of Discord’s room. I couldn’t help but to let out a sigh in disappointment.

                                            >Before Discord became obsessed with this Equestria thing, his door would always be something different each day. Sometimes it was a bunch of mean vines, others it’d be a black hole, and sometimes it’d be a talking clown.

                                            >Now it was just a stupid regular door. Only way to know that it was Discord’s room was a small sign that read “Keep out, my dear”.

                                            “Why you gotta be like that, dude? Feels like you wanna kill me with boredom… wish things could go back to how they were when I got here”.

                                            >I knocked on the door with the empty hope that Discord would be there. Didn’t take long to realize just how stupid the thought was.

                                            “Of course no one would be here. The old guy said he was gonna be out… ugh, guess I gotta go back to my room, huh?”

                                            >Feeling defeated, I gently banged my head against the door and prepared to endure another day without anything interesting to do. Maybe I could blow some of the barren islands nearby the house, or I could see if the dust bunnies would be up for something, or…

                                            “What the heck?”

                                            >A creaking sound echoed through the dimly lit hallway. I turned around and contained a small squeak: The old guy forgot to close his door.

                                            >At first I happily started to hop left and right, then I mustered all my strength to contain my bubbling excitement. I looked at all directions, biting the nails of my talons and hurriedly talking to myself.


                                            “Maybe this ain’t the best idea, dude. The old guy almost turned me into a pigeon last time I went there. Think I’m gonna dodge this one. Yep! That’s totallu what I’m gonna do!”

                                            >I proudly nodded to myself for taking the wise and mature decision of walking away from stupid problems… only to then teleport back and open the door from pair to pair.

                                            “Screw it! If the dude really wanted me to stay away then he should lock his door. Besides, how bad can it be to be a pigeon? Those guys get bread for free! You know how hard I had to work to get like half of what those old ponies throw at them?”

                                            >While it was normal for Discord to do all sorta weird stuff, I have to admit that I never expected his room to be filled with more merchandise than what the company puts out for every release of their new movie series.

                                            >Seriously, every single wall, board, and piece of furniture was covered with posters, flyers, t-shirts, caps and more garbage of the exact same thing.

                                            “What the heck is a chaos carnival?”

                                            >I picked one of the posters. It depicted the silhouette of two super weird and slender mares, nothing I haven’t seen before there, especially when the company liked to use the same style to advertise some of their garbage.

                                            >What weirded me out was that both silhouettes didn’t really belong to any particular pony race.   Like, they both had wings like a pegasus, and super large horns like some sorta mutant unicorn.

                                            “Come the heck on, Discord! Have you ever seen a pony ever before?”

                                            >That wasn’t even the most interesting part about the poster. Well, it actually was, Discord really sucked at proportions. But there was another fun bit in there too: The place in Equestria where this carnival thing was gonna take place: Somewhere called Ponyville.


                                            “Geez, dude! That’s the lamest name ever, and this is where Discord spends his time? That frickin’ weirdo better have not sent my dork there”.

                                            >That town’s lame name only served to increase my curiosity about the carnival. I tossed the poster to a side, and immediately picked a flyer from the desk. Surprisingly for Discord, the darn thing actually filled with useful information.

                                            “Gotta give the old man some props. This carnival thing sounds super sick”.

                                            >The old dude was planning one heck of a party. Music concerts, performance shows, loads of food stands, surprise announcements and so far I wasn’t invited to any of it.

                                            >Any other day I’d be mad for not being told about this awesome, and to be honest I kinda was. But a particular section of the flyer made me put all those thoughts away for the time being.

                                            “… “With the special appearances of our beloved rulers: Princess Celestia and Princess Celestia” Huh, never took the old guy as someone who’d rub elbows with the big shots”.

                                            >I crumbled on Discord’s bed and stared at the ceiling as my mind started to drift off. Those princesses had to be total party animals to green lit something like this, and that town? Maybe the name was lame, but I’m sure it had to be a cool place to be if Discord choose it for something this big.

                                            “Dude, Equestria gotta be sick. Wish I could go there…”


                                            >I let out a sigh and stared at a poster for a few minutes. Then, a huge idea hit me like a truck. An idea so stupid that would bring me nothing but trouble… and a lot of fun too.

                                            “Wait a minute! Why the heck am I acting so gloomy?! I’ve got chaos magic too. I don’t need some old jerk to go there!”

                                            >A mischievous smile appeared on my face as I teleported outta the room. Then, I frantically went around the house to see if Discord had arrived. It didn’t take me more than 5 minutes to make sure that the coast was absolutely clear.

                                            >My excitement went through the frickin’ roof as I teleported to the front yard. There I was greeted by the palpitating purple sky of the void and a pack of flying otters passing by. I rubbed my paw and talons together to get into the action.

                                            “Now for the main event… figure out how the heck am I gonna get to Equestria”.

                                            >That pretty much put a stop to my plans. I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do from here, and it ain’t like the Discord even gave me a clue. I casted a spell to create a decently comfortable chair and sat on it to think.

                                            “There gotta be a trick to all of this, it ain’t like the dude has a door that just takes him there. I know he opened some portal to go to my old place, but I would’ve know if he did the same for this. You can see those portals from a mile away. Mmm…  Maybe he teleports? Like, the old guy always teleports away whenever he goes out. Yeah, I could try that!”


                                            >It was more than just me going with the simplest answer as usual. Unlike opening portals, teleporting was a spell I could actually do. Sure, I’ve never teleported that faraway, but the idea was the same. Plus, I could just teleport back if I ended up landing in the wrong place.

                                            >Feeling my mood and excitement renewed by this new idea, I jolted back to my hooves and stretched my arms to prepare myself for the biggest teleportation spell I had ever pulled out yet.

                                            “A’ight, time to get down to business!”

                                            >I inhaled all the air that my lungs could hold… which ended up being a terrible idea since I ended up swallowing a small big. After coughing up the darn thing and regaining some of my composure, I atraced a circle with my paw and yelled as hard as I could.

                                            “So long Void and hello Equestria!”

                                            >In the blink of an eye I found myself knee deep inside a swamp. At least that’s what it felt like, in reality I couldn’t see a thing past my own muzzle. That wasn’t the bad part, after all I was more than used to be inside dank placed.

                                            >No, what really sucked was the unbearable cold that made my bones ache, it’s like I was inside a frickin’ industrial cooler. I started to frantically rub my arms in a desperate attempt to get some warmth.

                                            “Brrt! Is frickin’ freezing here! This definitely ain’t how I pictured Equestria”.

                                            >“That’s because this isn’t Equestria” A deep voice answered me from the darkness, “So better go back where you came from before it’s too late!”

                                            “AAH! W-WHAT THE HECK!”


                                            >To say the voice startled me would be a massive understatement. I’d probably have jumped like 40 meters up in the air if the mud hadn’t stuck me in place like some sorta super glue.

                                            >I also wish to say that I masterfully blew up the creature with my magic, but that lie would be too much, even for me. What actually ended up happening is that I frantically flailed my arms around like some frickin’ spaz and fell head first on the mud.

                                            >I tried to get back on my groove as fast as possible, both to save some face and to be ready for the now usual rodeo of dealing with some creature from the Void trying to eat my alive.

                                            >Thing is, I was freaking out hard time and I’m not very good at keeping my head cool. So instead of having a triumphant comeback, I fell on my butt and got stuck in a less than flattering position. Even worse, the cold was starting to make my body to feel numb.

                                            >Then, I noticed something that made my blood chill: Right in front of me there were a couple of gigantic yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. I slowly started stood up, which got me a guttural growl in response.

                                            “C-Come on, dude! You don’t wanna eat me. I taste like garbage, I swear!”


                                            >The glowing eyes contracted and then separated in an unnatural way before the deep voice replied with an oddly disgusted tone, “Eww! What are you talking about?!” A flash of pink light illuminated the entire landscape, blinding me for a couple seconds, “We’re not going to eat you!”

                                            >First thing I had to do once my eyes got adjusted to the light was to slap my face so I could knew this wasn’t some weird dream. This was no horrible swamp, if anything it was the exact opposite: a land of pure ice cream and candy.

                                            “D-Dude, I t-think I won the lottery!”

                                            >Sure, I was still freezing but this place was frickin’ sick! Everything, and I mean everything from the trees, to the many creatures that came to surround me were made of the tastiest looking candies I’ve ever seen.

                                            >As for the glowing eyes, they turned out to be a couple of corn-shaped candles held by a pair of oversized gummy bears. One of them actually came to me and offered me a little blanket made of bubblegum, “Have this, cute lady. It’ll help you with the cold”.

                                            >Now that I wasn’t in some sort of hyper stressful danger, I was able to use my magic again. Since I had regained my confidence, I wanted to impress these cute little critters with some sick spell. So I gently shook my head and traced a circle with my paw.

                                            “Aww! A-Ain´t you adorable but you can keep it. I have one of those right… here!”


                                            >Thankfully, the spell worked like a charm. I was now wearing an incredibly thick coat, a winter hat shaped like ear cats, and a couple of neat purple mittens. I triumphantly put my talons and paw on my waist and gave the critters boastful look.

                                            “Ta-da! What do you think? Goes pretty well with my eyes, dontcha think?”

                                            >The actual response I got was far from the gasps in awe and admiration that I expected. After carefully packing the blanket and burying it in the ice-cream ground for some reason, the gummy bear frowned at me and scoffed, “Yeah, and it goes with your fat tail too!”

                                            >I was completely baffled by this sudden change in attitude. Like, the gummy went from acting all cute and cuddly, to having this expression of utter disgust and mockery.

                                            “What?”

                                            >Somehow my answer only served to make the gummy bear do another 180. His face contorted with pure rage as he started to stomp his paws and angrily flail his arms around, “You heard me! Hmph, I should’ve listened to my mother. Never help anyone in the Void, especially a smelly draconequus like you!”

                                            “What the heck is your problem, huh?! I was just trying to be…! Wait, this ain’t Equestria?”

                                            >The gummy bears looked at each other and started laughing at me. Soon enough, the crowd of candy creatures not only joined them, but also grew by the tenfold. It felt like I was suddenly back in the slums, like I was a disgusting freak again.

                                            “S-Stop! Please…”


                                            >As I desperately tried to hide myself from the crowd, one of the gummy bears walked to me and started poking my leg with a candy cane, “Look at this cracker! She thinks we’re in the golden land! What did I tell you? Draconequuses are all dumb!”

                                            >I tried to get away from all of this, but it only made things worse as I trip up with a small chocolate pebble, making my fall head first into the ice-cream.

                                            >Of course, this only made the laughter to get even louder and crueler. Some creatures went as far as to throw at me whatever stuff they could find.

                                            >At first I felt like a complete idiot. Why did I even think that the spell worked? There was no frickin’ way that I could’ve broken into another dimension that easily. That kinda magic was something that only a master in chaos like Discord could do, not a loser like me.

                                            >These thoughts of self pitty went on and on until after a particularly large candy hit me in the head. Something inside me just snapped, I realized that I was tired of being treated like scum, and that I was furious at myself for allowing these freaks to do whatever they pleased with me.

                                            >I clenched my talons and slowly but surely got back up. It felt like my blood was boiling and the world around spun out of control. There was something else too, something powerful bursting through every inch of my body like fire.


                                            “A’ight, you wanna be a buncha jerks? I can play that game too. I’m gonna screw all of you!”

                                            >The candy creatures weren’t too worried about my threat. They all continued throwing stuff at me. My ears were ringing but I could hear one comment among all that noise, “Can’t be worse than your smell!”

                                            “Oh, hoh! So that’s how you wanna play, huh?”

                                            >Five minutes after that comment, I was aimlessly floating through the purple skies of the Void while sucking on a delicious lollipop. Far below me were the melting remains of an island made of ice cream and inhabited by the stupidest candies I’ve ever met.

                                            >Maybe being made fun of didn’t justify dropping ten metric tons of salt on the island, and I probably should have gone easy with all those giant heaters, but it ain’t like I really cared. Screw every single one of those idiots.

                                            >Besides, I had better things to worry about… like how I was gonna get to Equestria. So I comfortably continued to float around and enjoy the lollipop. Like, chillin’ out was pretty important too.

                                            “Hmm, I think is safe to say teleporting ain’t gonna cut it. Sucks, I wanted this to be easy and simple. Question is, what am I gonna do next? Do you have any ideas, lil’ guy?”

                                            >I took the lollipop outta my mouth, in it there was the face of one of those gummy bears. I’m not sure how I actually did it, but I used my magic to transform this jerk…useful. I knew it was a mean, but boy it felt so good.

                                            >The lollipop gasped for air before spitting a few times. Then, he looked at me with complete disdain, “I have one: Why don’t you get a brain, huh?! Do you think I’d be here if I could get to Equestria?”


                                            >I tapped my chin a couple times before looking at the lollipop with the most malicious grin I could come up with.

                                            “Hmm! Can’t discuss with that. Guess only thing left for me now is to finish my little snack!”

                                            >Only thing I had to do was to bite the air to make the lollipop crumble. He started sweating syrup and rushing every word he said, “I-I mean t-there is a way, b-but only a complete nutjob would go for it”.

                                            “Oh, yeah? Try me”.

                                            >The lollipop gulped, “Rumors says there’s a door that leads to the golden land. Y-You’ll never get there, though! Nobody can, it’s inside the jailer’s den!”

                                            >I spun the lollipop a couple times before bringing it closer to my face. How much I wished to be wrong about the question I was gonna ask.

                                            “Now this is more like it! Pray tell, who’s this jailer friend of yours?”

                                            >The lollipop cackled maniacally as his spun like wheels, “You think you’re the top dog only because you’re a smelly draconequus? Well, here’s some news for you. There’s an even bigger draconequus in the Void and the smell of his magic reeks so hard that…”

                                            “Oh, so I was right. It’s just Discord”.

                                            >I tossed the lollipop to the infinite purple depths of the Void, then I crossed my arms and let out a long and frustrated groan.

                                            >I couldn’t believe it, the door to Equestria had been inside the house all along, and the old dude never told me. That jerk was gonna hear me next time I see him, but for now there was only one thing I could do.

                                            “Time to go back home, I guess. Ugh, what a frickin’ waste of time, dude”.

                                            >Maybe I should be more concerned by how much I enjoyed destroying an entire island, but on the other paw, who cares? Discord has always told me that chaos is all about enjoying the moment.

                                            >Besides I had better things to do than to be worried about dumb stuff like that. Things like finding the door to Equestria, and boy I was gonna do that even if it meant blowing up that house all over again.