A Regular Christmas


                                            “Normally at least one of you has been picked up by now...”

                                            >”Did you say something, Anon?”

                                            >You look down at Dinky, who is trying to smooth out Upbeat’s wings for the third time tonight.

                                            >No keeping that bundle of energy down after he learned how to fly, even if for only a few seconds a time. Now he needs to learn how to stick a landing; coming down is a lot harder than going up for the young pegasus.

                                            “Ah, nothing. Just didn’t have any plans to entertain you after dinner.”

                                            >You spread your arms to indicate your living room, with all its holiday decorations and not much else.

                                            “Still got some learning to do on being a good host, I don’t have anything else prepared for my guests.”

                                            >Dinky laughs. “Don’t worry, I have my hooves full.”

                                            >Upbeat’s already trying to fly away from her again, off to where Ruby and Joyance have taken over your couch. They sit on either end, with an Equestrian chessboard between them.

                                            >All the pawns have horse heads. Confusing as fuck.

                                            “Here, lemme empty those hooves of yours.”

                                            >You reach down and grab Upbeat, then pull him up over your head as fast as you can. He squirms in your grip, wings beating furiously. “Lemme fly, lemme fly!”

                                            “From this high? Heck no. Lets go see what those two are doing.”

                                            >You and Dinky trade a smile as you make your way over to the couch near a crackling fireplace, reaching over the game in progress to place Upbeat on the couch’s back.

                                            >Yep, that’s a lot of horse heads.

                                            >Ruby’s sweating. The normally composed, if surly, filly’s all gone to pieces, as many as lay beside her, taken off the board by Joyance’s ruthless advance.

                                            >But the younger earth pony isn’t smug or arrogant when she makes the game-winning move. She almost looks sad.

                                            >”Checkmate.”

                                            >”Gah! How did I not see that?” Ruby quickly takes the rest of her pieces off the board and huffs.

                                            “Hey, I bet you did better than I’d do.”

                                            >You reach down and tousle her mane.

                                            “Why are you so interested in chess, anyway? You’re such a tough filly. I thought you’d think chess is for nerds.”

                                            >”All unicorns are supposed to be good at chess! And they’re supposed to play an instrument, and speak a second language, and-”

                                            “Woah, slow down, there. Who told you all that?”

                                            >She looks down and away. “My dad had high standards.”

                                            “Your dad was also cold as ice and twice as brittle when it came time to step up to a challenge. He and his high standards aren’t here to bother you. Do you like it?”

                                            >”I want to get better at it.”

                                            “That doesn’t answer my question.”

                                            >Ruby looks across the board at Joy, staring back in anticipation of her answer.

                                            >“I like playing with Joy.”

                                            >The earth pony breaks into a smile, and you let out one of your own.

                                            “Then why don’t you tell me what all the pieces do while you set the board up again. We had a game like this back home but everything looked different.”

                                            >Joyance immediately leaps into action, grabbing pieces and moving them to their starting positions. “Chess is like life! It’s all about protecting the stallion. The King, back here, can’t do much, just move a square in any direction. The Queen can move any number of squares in any direction, as long as it’s a straight line.”

                                            “Yeah that’s what they do back home.”

                                            >You’d never thought about why the queen being the able one makes more sense here than there, though. What the hell, Earth?

                                            >”On either side of those two are Kirins. They can move one square diagonally, but can also jump a square and land on the second, going front or back or to the sides. Outside of those are the Dragons. They jump too, but in a different way. They can go to an adjacent square and then any diagonal square from there. You can also move them a shorter distance ahead; they can just slide one square forward, or take a piece on any forward diagonal, but they can’t capture forward or move diagonally.”

                                            “That’s just a knight and a pawn smashed together.”

                                            >Joy gives you a weird look. “A what and a what?”

                                            >You wave your hand dismissively.

                                            “Stuff from home. What’s next?”

                                            >”In each corner is a Griffin. They have to move diagonally one square, then can move any squares in a straight line in any adjacent direction. Then in front of all that, each player gets eight ponies. They just move one square forward, or take pieces on a diagonal. They seem weak but they’re important!”

                                            “And then check and checkmate and all that. Same as home but different pieces. Interesting.”

                                            >By now the board is set for a new game, and Ruby’s sweating again.

                                            >As they trade opening moves, Dinky comes up to your side. “Speaking of stuff from your home, did you have anything like Hearthswarming? Usually you forget about holidays until we remind you. Though you were supposed to give us the gifts tomorrow...”

                                            “I’m not going to see you tomorrow, silly. Or later tonight, which some people from my home traded gifts on.”

                                            >”You gave each other gifts too?”

                                            >Upbeat’s attention’s switching between you and the game. Ruby’s too, which can’t be helping her performance any.

                                            “Here, why don’t I start from the beginning.”

                                            >You walk over to the fireplace and sit on the raised hearth, sighing with pleasure as you soak up the heat to your back, enjoying the wonderful wood-fire smell.

                                            >Your hands especially appreciate the warmth, even if not needed in this moment. Gloves don’t exist in Equestria. You know; you’ve looked hard enough.

                                            “Christmas, as it’s called where I come from, is many things. Nominally, it’s the birthday of a significant religious figure, who wanted to teach the world to be better to each other. Another important figure in the faith became known for gift giving and got tied in along the way. More recently it became this big commercial event, but that’s beside the point.”

                                            >You stretch, racking your brain for more details. Christmas is a complicated holiday, where did all the pieces come from? You’d done enough history to know this…

                                            >Ruby and Joyance traded another set of moves while you thought on it.

                                            “Well there’s the solstice, which was a big deal. Shortest day of the year. A lot of really old holidays were based on or around points of the sun, and some of them even continued to modern times. So you had that, then uh, oh, Saturnalia. Ancient festival, big feasts, everyone was equal, more gift-giving. That one was a long time ago, but still influences a lot of celebration. Same with Yule. All of these are basically about celebrating deities, but they’ve all mingled and the traditions have merged into one holiday.”

                                            >Even Joy is looking over at you between moves now. The Regulars are always interested in your curious Earth customs.

                                            “So you have all these traditions where you put out a feast. You trade gifts. You get merry. You get drunk, when you’re old enough. Sometimes get into silly shenanigans. Remember the value of your fellows and remember to be kind to everyone. Then you do it again a week later on New Year’s. That’s what Christmas is about; that time of celebration of life and birth and rebirth, family coming together, all that.”

                                            >As you look across the four faces, you’re not sure how much of that is appropriate. They’re all still young enough they’re receiving gifts exclusively. They can’t get drunk for awhile yet, and Ruby would probably keep them out of the liquor even if they could, with how much she dislikes it. You hope there’s no shenanigans whatsoever, because that would make your life difficult.

                                            >And they’ve only half a family each and a lot of their ‘fellows’ mock them for it. Daddy didn’t love them enough to stick around, they say. Where’s the ‘merry’ in that?

                                            >You can see that churning behind Ruby and Joy’s faces as they return to their game, but Dinky hops up on your oversized-for-ponies couch and wraps them both in a hug. “And we’re all here together to share it!”

                                            >Her enthusiasm, even through that one simple statement, is infectious.

                                            >Ah, bless her heart and her ability to read a room.

                                            “But enough about me. Jesus and Saturn and all the hoary gods don’t exist here, so what’s the story with you all?”

                                            >”Celebrates Equestria’s founding,” Joy squeaks out from Dinky’s crushing hug, one hoof wiggling towards the chessboard to try to make her next move.

                                            ”Of all the ponies I could get a laconic summary from, I didn’t expect it to be you, Joy.”

                                            >”Can’t breathe...”

                                            >Dinky laughs and releases the two as Upbeat tromps to the closer end of the couch’s back.

                                            >With a valiant leap, Upbeat’s little wings work furiously to keep himself airborne.

                                            >They manage to carry him the four feet from the couch to your lap, where he plummets gracelessly, landing atop your legs.

                                            >You can’t help but laugh at his expression of triumph, and get to work adjusting some of his feathers, always ruffled by how hard his wings have to work. They’ve still got a lot of growing to do.

                                            “So how about a little more detail?”

                                            >”The three tribes were mean but then got along!” Upbeat chirps from your lap. “Everyone came together and were nice and it stopped snowing. The end.”

                                            >You chuckle again as you finish your work, giving one of his tiny wings a flick.

                                            “Thanks for the cliffsnotes, champ.”

                                            >Joyance is seated back on one side of her game board, and could breathe again. “Back before the Unification, the three tribes had their own leadership and were linked with some complicated arrangements. A harsh winter disrupted them, and tensions grew.”

                                            >She pauses her explanation to consider her next move, and Dinky picks up where she left off. “The leaders came together for talks after they all inadvertently selected the same land for a new home away from the storm. They still couldn’t agree on anything, so the winter followed them.”

                                            >”Windigos,” Ruby says, making her move lightning-quick after Joyance. “They feed off hatred and stuff. They showed up and froze everyone but the assistants, who were getting along. So the assistants decide to cooperate and help each other, and that beats them back. That spirit of cooperation inspired unity, and the three tribes decided to make one country togehter. That’s Equestria.”

                                            “Wow. That’s pretty intense.”

                                            >A lot of nation’s foundings on Earth are ‘pretty intense’, but you don’t need to explain the concept of taking pride in and celebrating six-digit figures of dead to young ponies.

                                            >”So tomorrow we’re gonna raise a bunch of flags and trade gifts and celebrate togetherness. Hearthswarming is about the start of a shared history and traditions that still continue today. The creation and safeguarding of a special home through harmony and unity. From family to nation,” Joy finishes, finally making her move.

                                            “Not much different then, in the end, even if we get here through very different ways.”

                                            >You hear a knock at your door, then.

                                            “Ah, I’ll get that. Probably one of you’s mom.”

                                            >You pick Upbeat up as you stand, and he starts squirming in your grip to try and fly away. You loosen your grip and lightly bounce him up off your hands towards the couch when you walk by it. His little wings catch him in the air, then carry him all the way over they couch’s back again, but can’t stop him in time to bump against the wall. He shakes his head and blinks as Dinky levitates him down to her level to fuss over him some more.

                                            >Away from the fireplace, and past the kitchen’s residual heat, parts of your house were noticeably cooler. You rub your hands together for a little more warmth before reaching out and opening the door.

                                            >Not just one, but all five mothers waited on the other side. Berry Punch stood in front, looking remarkably sober, considering the time and date. “Hey, Anon.”

                                            “The whole lot of ya’s, huh? Here to take ‘em home?”

                                            >The mares looked between each other, then back to you. “Uh, about that. D’ya have a moment?”

                                            “Yeah, sure come inside.”

                                            >You open the door all the way and stand aside, letting the five file into your foyer, which was definitely not designed for this many occupants.

                                            >After you close the front door the situation improves somewhat, but you’re still stuck in a corner

                                            >Before they can push out against the walls to give you some space, Berry’s close enough you can smell her breath. No alcohol whatsoever.

                                            >That’s become common, lately.

                                            >”Sorry for intruding, but we wanted you t’have this.”

                                            >Vinyl levitates a small bag out of a saddlepouch, then floats it over to you.

                                            ”Aw, come on, you shouldn’t have. You already pay me enough.”

                                            >Despite the admonishment, you receive the floating parcel.

                                            >”No, we don’t,” Berry says flatly.

                                            >”Besides, you probably got them something,” Octavia picks up almost immediately after. “So we could say the same.”

                                            “Well, yeah, but they were just little stuffed toys. Figured out their favorite animals and went hunting. Er, not literally, sorry. The food was the big thing I did.”

                                            >”You fed them too?”

                                            “Well, yeah. Holiday dinner.”

                                            >A couple of them look relieved. You realize that, at this late, there was no way they were going to be able to throw something big together; they were probably planning their big meals tomorrow.

                                            >You finally put your attention on the paper bag in your grasp. You slip a hand inside to pull its contents out…

                                            >...and stop cold when you feel a material you thought you never would again.

                                            >Slowly, gingerly, you slide the fabric out from the bag.

                                            >Your hand is wrapped around two thick gloves.

                                            >They’re covered in black leather. Ponies are really funny about their animal products that require killing the creature in question, with such materials being limited to frontier towns or foreign lands with a more holistically utilitarian view of dead. Getting any leather at all this close to the capitol is a Christmas miracle all on its own.

                                            >As you turn them over and inspect them, you can see they’re extraordinarily well-crafted. The inside is lined with something that feels like fur but isn’t. There’s some sort of padding insulation between this and the leather shell.

                                            >Furthermore, well, they’re gloves. Honest-to-god four-fingers-and-a-thumb gloves.

                                            >You can’t not put these on.

                                            >You look at the eager smiles around you as you do.

                                            >Perfect fit.

                                            “I… this is incredible.”

                                            >You stare at your hands as you turn them over, flex your fingers, make a fist. The range of motion is unreal for something as warm as these.

                                            >”I saw you rubbing your hands a lot outside,” Berry says. “Twilight told me something about losing body heat, cuz you’re bald all over. Uh, no offense.”

                                            >You laugh and wave it off

                                            >With one of your exquisitely-gloved and toasty warm hands

                                            >”So we put some money together and commissioned these. They took longer than we thought to finish. Glad to see they fit well.”

                                            “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

                                            >You hear a laugh from your living room that gets all the mares’ attention.

                                            >No need to clear the house out just yet.

                                            “Hey, if you were waiting for these to be finished, and judging from your reactions before, I bet you haven’t eaten yet. We did not too long ago, and I still have plenty of food, still warm. Least I could do.”

                                            >The five look between each other again, then back to you, smiling.

                                            >“We’d love to.”