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Caught in a Web [NEETpone] [Lime Wire/Keylime]

By punki
Created: 7th March 2022 10:47:46 PM
25th June 2022 02:49:59 PM

  1. >ding
  2. >ugh.. God, what time is it..
  3. >ding
  4. >...
  5. >meow
  6. "..."
  7. >meow
  8. "Shh, shh.. Settle down"
  9. >You reach up from under the covers and pat your big ball of fluff on the head before rolling back over to get comfy under the covers.
  10. >Ahh.. bliss.. peace... Quie-
  11. >ding
  12. >meo-
  13. >Oh, fuck it, you tried.
  14. "RIGHT, I'M UP."
  15. >Throwing the covers off yourself and over your feline companion, you groan to yourself.
  16. >This whole no rest for the wicked bullshit is really starting to grate on you sometimes. Who the Hell is messaging you at this hour anyway?
  17. >ding
  18. >Speak of the Devil..
  19. >Rubbing at your eyes with your hooves, you sit on the edge of your bed for a few seconds just to collect yourself a little bit, before letting out a mighty sigh with a "dunk" down to the floor as you sleepily sway and groan your way towards your desk.
  20. >Grabbing your phone, you make your way to the kitchen while spinning it around idly with your magic.
  21. >You know the rules. No dealing with anything online before you've got a mug of coffee to rattle yourself awake.
  22. >With a click, your smartmug starts to heat up on its plate like magic.
  23. >God you fucking love that thing..
  24. >Both kettle plates set to 96c? That should be about right for medium roast.. Right? Eh, we'll soon find out.. You're new to these beans.
  25. >You grab your grinder and coffee beans and get to work on your morning routine as your kettles get up to temperature.
  26. >Yeah, two kettles.. One for your equipment so you can preheat everything, and one for the actual coffee.. Duh.. That's not too autistic, right..? Yeah, right.. [spoiler]God, you're dying alone.[/spoiler]
  27. >Grinding with one hoof, you plonk your phone down on the counter and swipe up to login with your code.
  28. >3 unread emails, crypto portfolio notification with your daily losses no doubt.. Annnd there it is, 5 messages from Mous.
  29. >Putting your coffee grinder down on the counter you pick up your phone in one hoof to see what you've missed, and instinctively switch to grinding the beans with your magic before pausing briefly to sigh at yourself and shake your head.
  30. >Why were you doing this manually again? What are you? Retarded or something?
  31. >Probably.
  32. >God, it's too early for this shit.
  33. >meow
  34. "Yeah, yeah, gimme a minute tiger"
  35. >meow
  36. "Give me a m-"
  37. >ding
  38. >meow
  39. "Fuck it!"
  40. >Slamming your grinder down, you swing open the fridge and put down Tiger's breakfast, causing him to scurry across the floor like someone told him that you were giving catnip away.
  41. "Slow down, dumbass! You're gonna get a bellyache."
  42. >Oh, to Hell with it.
  43. >Waving dismissively, you grab your phone and dump your grinder contents into the press and continue the process of making your morning cup.
  44. >Get the V30 nice and warm with your prep-kettle.. Nice and easy..
  45. >Let's see what Mous has going on, you're not feeling like getting JUSTed by your crypto portfolio at the moment.
  46. >Yep, gonna be swiping that one away to hang yourself over later.
  47. >Annnnd, here we go.
  48. >"You up yet, man?" (8:30am)
  49. >"You're not dead are ya?" (9:23am)
  50. >"You know the rules, no killing yourself unless you're murder-suiciding me with you." (10:01am)
  51. >"Ok, no, seriously, message me back dude. I get that you like a sleep in but this is ridiculous." (13:52pm)
  52. >Oops.
  53. >Unfolding a filter, you idly start to type back to him.
  54. "Oh shit, didn't realise how late it was, I set my alarm for 7pm by accident again."
  55. >Fast thinking, Lime.
  56. >"Man, you're full of shit. You were up all night again talking to your marefriend online again no doubt."
  57. >Marefriend? Wut.. Oh, wait, he means [spoiler]Paradise.[/spoiler]
  58. >You should probably reply to her emails actually, she's sent you a bunch lately.
  59. "Marefriend? Mous, she lives with her fiance or something, you dog. Besides, I don't like ponies anyway, you know that."
  60. >"Yeah, yeah, yeah.. So you say. I'm onto you, Wire."
  61. >If only he knew the half of it, he's so cold that he's practically in Antarctica.
  62. >With a big shit-eating grin on your face, you slowly start the process of pouring and waiting that is involved in your delicate coffee making process.
  63. "Sure you are, lmao. Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you something about her. She's been sending me these emails wanting to like, meet up IRL and stuff.. What's with that?"
  64. >"lol what? Didn't you two get talking after you wrecked her website or something?"
  65. "Yeah, but she doesn't see it like that."
  66. >"what do you mean she doesn't see it like that? Is she blind, or just retarded?"
  67. "Mous, have you seen her website? I don't think she's retarded. She thinks I was trying to help, I think? She seems a bit naive, but kinda nice."
  68. >"so she glows in the dark then?"
  69. "Dude, fuck off."
  70. >"lol, calm down. What did you say her name was again? Tropical Sky or something? Send it over."
  71. "It's Paradise Skies, she goes to my uni, and ever since finding that out, she's been wanting to get a coffee or just hang out or something. She's too keen though, something's up."
  72. >"kk, give me 5 minutes."
  73. >Pouring your coffee into your mug, you levitate it off the counter and swirl it around as you make your way over to your desk and boot up your computer as you sink into your chair.
  74. >Investing in this thing was a damn good idea.
  75. >Owning a Herman Miller chair may mean you can't eat anything but cereal and boiled rice for the rest of your life, but not owning one means becoming a hunchback by the time you're 23, so it all balances out in the end, you guess.
  76. >Or that's what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night with £1,200 missing from your bank account, anyway.
  77. [Nervous Laughter]
  78. >Ah well. May as well check those emails while you wait for him to get back to you.
  79. >Junk mail..
  80. >Another email from Paradise thanking you for your latest "bug report"
  81. >Paradise asking about meeting up.. Again.
  82. >Ugh..
  83. >You lean back in your chair and rub your eyes.
  84. >She's not gonna drop this, is she.
  85. >ding
  86. >Oh fuck off Mous.. Oh wait, yeah, he's checking that thing out for you. Oops..
  87. >"Her opsec is AWFUL, Jesus wept. Is there anything she doesn't share about herself?"
  88. >God, he has no idea.
  89. >Since you first got into this mess a few months ago, you've gone over that question yourself more times than you'd care to admit.
  90. >You just expected to vandalise her project, flex a little with your deface page, and move onto the next thing to mess around with, but what you absolutely were not expecting was a "thank you" email for your shit-headed efforts.
  91. >Can't say you've ever experienced that reaction before, but she seemed to think that your deface page with your email and epic hacker name was a sort of business card to make it easier for her to contact you and thank you for "pointing out security holes" in her project.
  92. >One or two emails back and forth later, and you kinda found yourself feeling a little.. Guilty, you guess?
  93. >No. Not guilty. You don't do guilt. You were just kinda warming up to her a little bit, and after a few too many Jack Daniels and honey you may have overshared a little bit.
  94. >Happens to the best of us, it's not like she's in the same circles as you and Mous, so you're hardly putting yourself in any risk by her knowing your name.
  95. >She knows what she's doing, and it's nice to talk to another pony who's into the stuff that you're into, you guess..?
  96. >ding
  97. >"Right, so I dunno what I'm supposed to tell you here, but she seems legit. Like a real pony legit. Not a CIA agent legit."
  98. "MI5* we don't live in America"
  99. >"implying that's ever stopped them from getting people in the past anyway"
  100. ".. Ok fair point, but no shit she's real. What am I supposed to do though? She sent me another email this morning asking if I wanna meet for coffee tomorrow."
  101. >Feeling your heart sink at the words on your screen, you can't help but pause for a second.
  102. >"I mean, why not go?"
  103. >Is he high?
  104. "You feeling alright?"
  105. >"What? It's not the worst idea. Dude, your my best friend, really, I love you, I do, but I worry about you sometimes."
  106. >There's that chest feeling again.
  107. "I'm fine man, really."
  108. >"I know, but still.. I worry, bro. I think this could do you good to just have an IRL friend to chat to. Why would you even ask me what I think about it if you weren't half considering meeting up with her anyway?"
  109. >Shit, he's got you there.
  110. >"Besides, look at it this way. If it goes well, then maybe we could meet up soon too? I noticed that Paradise chick goes to Riverside. You're only like half an hour away by train, kept that one quiet, didntcha'! Thought you said you were in Leeds?"
  111. >Choking on your coffee and almost dropping your cup out of mid-air, you cough coffee over yourself in a slight panic, barely catching your cup and dropping it down to your table as it sloshes it's contents all over your desk.
  112. >FUCK.
  113. >FUCKFUCKFUCK!
  114. >Shit, think of an excuse Lime, quick!
  115. "I wasn't keeping it quiet, I just moved."
  116. >Yfw (image will be attached to post)
  117. >"Mhm?"
  118. >Fuck, he's not buying it.
  119. >Exit plan, quick.
  120. [spoiler]>No, not that one![/spoiler]
  121. >Quick! Bullshit!
  122. "Yeah, but I really gotta go for a bit, ttyl. Gotta go to the store before it closes. Thanks for looking at that thing for me too."
  123. >Right, right, just logout now.
  124. >"Ye, no worries dude. All ball busting aside, I would like for us to meet up sometime though. Would be nice to get a pint or something. End of term is coming up in a month. Give me a shout?"
  125. >FUUUUUCK
  126. "Maybe, but seriously, gtg. Later."
  127. >Scrambling with your hooves, you quickly logout of your account and skid your phone across your desk before face-planting said desk.
  128. >God, you're such a fucking idiot.
  129. >With shaky hooves, you cover your head and take a few deep breaths.
  130. >Alright, chill out.. It's just Mous. You've known him for like half of your life.
  131. >Just make an excuse and put it off for another 10 years, he'll get it!
  132. >Maybe if you just keep telling yourself that you'll start to believe it.
  133. >You've gone from panicking about one internet friend wanting to meet you to both of your internet friends wanting to meet you.
  134. >Smooth work, dumbass. Great problem solving skills.
  135. >Letting out a sigh, you glance up to be greeted by the idle glow of your monitor humming away, with that email from Paradise holding your attention on the screen.
  136. >.. You really would like to meet him, though.. And you kinda wanna meet Paradise too, actually.. But then you don't have the same issue when it comes to meeting her because well, y'know: You didn't lie to her about who you are like you did with him.
  137. >Urgh.. Don't think about it, there's nothing you can do about it right now anyway.
  138. >Why is this even bothering you so much? Why do you feel the urge to actually follow-through with this and meet up with this random mare you've made friends with? Has the loneliness and stress from your coursework bombing finally got to you?
  139. >With your front legs resting on the table, you look up at the email again.
  140. >Maybe he's right about meeting Paradise.. She does still seem to genuinely like you despite all the bullshit you've pulled and work you've caused her.
  141. >meow!
  142. "Huh.. Oh, hey tiger.."
  143. >With a pounce, your big fuzzball jumps up onto your desk and sits himself down between your ergo-hoof typing device, while giving you the look of judgement.
  144. >You swear, this cat knows more than he lets on sometimes.
  145. "What am I meant to do, buddy?"
  146. >Without so much as missing a beat, he reaches for your hoof with his paw.
  147. "I mean aside from making a fuss of you."
  148. >[Grumbling Sounds Intensify]
  149. >Having a little giggle to yourself, you start petting him and messing his face floof up while he gives you his best "oh man, that's the good shit, don't stop or else I'm going to bite you" look.
  150. "Should I go through with it? The Paradise thing, I mean.. I can't meet Mous.. not yet anyway.. What do you think?"
  151. >Dipping his head around your hoof, he looks at you with a tilt, and then glances at your monitor before pawing at it.
  152. >meow
  153. *Sigh*
  154. "You sure?"
  155. >mow
  156. >Goddammit.. You should have got a dog..

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