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/bootleg/ Twilit Starsky 2: Farmer's Boogaloo

By BlondieAnon
Created: 28th May 2022 06:08:12 PM
13th August 2022 06:21:17 AM

  1. >"Alright, Mr. A. We got water?"
  2. "Check."
  3. >"Got grub?"
  4. "Check. And aren't we going to get grub?"
  5. >"Yeah but... cooked grub is better. Got gas?"
  6. "Yup, full tank."
  7. >"Haa... Mr. A's got gas."
  8. >You cap off the checklist with a mocking laugh
  9. >Today's the day
  10. >Finally
  11. >Starsky's leading you to that farm she mentioned a while back
  12. >For all the talk of gift baskets and helping out, it has amounted to her and you spending weeks just watching TV and "totally vegging out"
  13. >Her goofy vibes have been rubbing off on you
  14. >Enough that spending time in the living room no longer feels like a violation
  15. >You still default to the basement
  16. >But if she's in the living room, you'll stick to there
  17. >She is...
  18. >Better
  19. >You think
  20. >When it comes to random talking time, she has a thousand stories to tell about her good ol' days with Lizzy
  21. >A lot of them are at least retold through fond tones and smiles, even if most of the stories have a bittersweet element to them
  22. >She's very articulate when she wants to be
  23. >You didn't give her a lot of credit before but she...
  24. >She really is pretty keen
  25. >You couldn't really help it
  26. >She still acts like she's just a leaf on the wind but you know she has a pretty big rudder
  27. "Alright, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. You sure she won't mind us stopping by? It'll be late lunch time if we get there on schedule."
  28. >Starsky shakes her head
  29. >Now that she's gotten used to her shorter mane, she uses every occasion to whip it around
  30. >In effect, it has given her a sort of supermodel vibe at times
  31. >Her tail is still far too long, and still drags on the ground
  32. >She still has some sort of complex about you cutting it so instead you just set it up in a bun
  33. >For the most part, you don't get distracted by her motions or words anymore
  34. >For the most part
  35. >"Naaah, it's fine. Ms. H and I shoot each other emails like every day now. I think she would be pretty happy to see you."
  36. "That sounds promising."
  37. >With the address punched in, you set off on the first leg of your road trip
  38. >To be honest, you could use an outdoor trip
  39. >You've been hopping from job to job since you moved back home
  40. >It has all been a blur not worth remembering
  41. >"Mr. A, you're scowling. Not a fan of crows?"
  42. "Eh?"
  43. >You have no clue what she meant by that
  44. "No, uh. I just hope that I'll make an alright impression. You sure she's ok with just giving stuff away?"
  45. >The way Starsky is side-sitting in the chair, you can't escape her easy eyes
  46. >"Ha, that's funny. Did I ever tell you about my FFA days?"
  47. "Not beyond you were a show pony."
  48. >"Not true, dude! Lizz tried to make me a show pony."
  49. "Oh, right. Silly me."
  50. >"Totally, sill you. Anyway, so Ms. H actually had a farm. Or rather, she was part of a family that had a farm. And they're legit too, not just a few garden pots full of cherry tomatoes and thyme. You wanna know the first rule of farming, Mr. A?"
  51. "Iiiiiiii... don't know. Don't plant where you sleep?"
  52.  
  53. >"Nah, man, learn to share! Whether it's tools or stuff, sometimes you have too much for yourself. So you share and make friends that way."
  54. "You lost me. You can have too many tools?"
  55. >"Well, you can have backup tools. Like, do you have just enough spoons for yourself or could you afford to let someone else use one?"
  56. >As unusual as her example is, you're learning to roll with her logic
  57. "Sure. But if I don't know you well, I won't give you a spoon?"
  58. >"Yeah, you get it! And how do you get to know me better so you'll give me a spoon?"
  59. "I... ask for a fork?"
  60. >Starsky lets out a mock gasp
  61. >"Mr. A! Asking for a fork from a girl you barely know... you're a fast mover."
  62. >You can't help but feel a little embarrassed
  63. "I... I didn't mean it like that. I'm talking cutlery."
  64. >Her chuckling lets you know that she's at least three steps ahead of you
  65. >"I am too."
  66. >You're lucky you have to keep your eyes on the road or you'd...
  67. >She ignores your underbreath grumbling
  68. >"But really, yeah. It's like that. You build up a neat network through stuff like that. And when it comes to big, strong tools and assisted forking..."
  69. >She lingers on the last syllables
  70. >Your lips widen into a grimace
  71. >You aren't taking the bait
  72. >"Remember Mr. A, pitchforks are essential tools."
  73. >Not taking it
  74. >"Thick poles on those forks too."
  75. >Nope
  76. >"Sometimes they require more than just two hands."
  77. >Oh how you wish you could give her just a single brake check and watch her fly out your windshield
  78. >"And you know hooves don't grab so well..."
  79. "The point, man!"
  80. >Your outburst reeks of desperation
  81. >You can't handle this sort of teasing
  82. >"Ha... my point is pretty obvious, dude. If you have a farm, there's totally no way you'll ever be able to eat everything you make. So you share and trade the excess for other things. Next thing you know, you got a whole lot of stuff going for you. And it means that you can give someone the most important thing, next to air and water. The cool thing? They got trees and bushes too so, like, they aren't even just normal vegetable farmers. They got fruits too."
  83. "...oh. Well I guess that is obvious."
  84. >"Seriously. Sometimes I wonder just how you tie your shoes."
  85. "Well we're going out and it isn't in town so I am wearing my boots. Those don't have laces."
  86. >"See! It's a completely legit thing to wonder."
  87. "Oh whatever, man."
  88. >This mare scrambles your head with such ease you're not sure how you deal with it
  89. >But she does make you smile
  90. >She actually makes you smile a lot
  91. >That sort of weaponized disarming silliness is formidable
  92. "So what's in the care package, anyway?"
  93. >"That's a secret. So much a secret that she didn't tell me anything about it either. But she said to bring back the basket once we're done. So get ready for more trips."
  94. "Not twice a week, I hope. We're burning almost a full tank on this round trip."
  95.  
  96. >"Nahh, that would be weird. But like, once a month hopefully?"
  97. >Drive to a farm once a month for things?
  98. >Depending on how big the basket is, you could probably spread it out longer than that
  99. >As if she is picking up on your thoughts, she interjects
  100. >"I mean, I wanna see her at least once a month if that's ok with you?"
  101. "Huh? Oh, well..."
  102. >Let's be honest
  103. >You don't do anything but work anyway
  104. >You could stand to get some sun
  105. >And it would make her happy
  106. "Yeah. I'm not complaining, just keeping logistics in mind."
  107. >"Awesome! You're the best, Mr. A."
  108. "Yeah... nah... nah."
  109. >You shrug away the attempted compliment
  110. >You tend to feel the happiest when you aren't thinking
  111. >You've thought that lately, anyway, which can be a bit of a paradox
  112. >"I mean it. And hey, they might even be able to spare you some gas too! They got, like, a gas station only five miles away. Really convenient for getting stuff. Not so much when you gotta hoof it yourself."
  113. >That draws your attention
  114. "You've had to walk five miles for gas?"
  115. >"Me? Nah. But Ms. H did once. So I went with her to help out. They had a spare set of saddlebags so I ended up carrying a few gallons too. It was nice though."
  116. >Sounds to you like she had to walk five miles for gas
  117. >But you'll keep that to yourself
  118. >"It sounds like it's a long distance. Because it's like... five miles, twice. But it's not ten. Because you have the break between and then when you're loaded up that second five feels like ten. You know?"
  119. >You begin to nod
  120. "I have absolutely no clue."
  121. >"It's fun. We should do that one of these days."
  122. "Why not just drive the car to the gas station?"
  123. >"Because it's the journey, man, not the destination. That's the fun thing."
  124. >If she says so
  125. >After the first half hour, you're out of town proper
  126. >Industrial plants and fields take up most of the horizon
  127. >As well as the ever-expansive two-lane road
  128. >It looks pretty nice
  129. >For some reason the sparse number of cars sharing your direction makes you feel like you're in a convoy
  130. >Farmers probably have convoys
  131. >Hell, they probably have a really strong sense of community too
  132. >They probably know everyone in a twenty mile radius, at least on a surface level
  133. >Meanwhile you don't even recognize your own neighbors
  134. >They aren't the people you grew up with
  135. >You certainly haven't been social either
  136. >Only Starsky made an attempt to be around
  137. >And the reasoning for that...
  138. >"Mr. A, did I ever tell you that I kinda wished that I could be a farmer?"
  139. "I don't think so. Aren't you too tech-savvy to work out in the fields and all that?"
  140. >"Nah man, not like... a hard working farmer. But the sort who just has like... a greenhouse. Because if you wanna do food, just have like a barrel or two and grow potatoes."
  141. "You can grow potatoes in a barrel?"
  142. >"Bro, potato barrels are like the coolest things. But I don't mean those."
  143. "Alright, so what do you want to grow in a greenhouse?"
  144. >"Like... garden variety stuff."
  145.  
  146. >One of these days this mare is going to give you mental whiplash so hard you'll see her point
  147. "O...k. Name a few things."
  148. >"Like spearmint, normal mint, lemongrass, ginger, garlic. Not... the important stuff. But the little things. Ever had a steak before with fresh herbs on it?"
  149. "I haven't. Not outside of that dry rub stuff and other mixes you've had."
  150. >"See? That's why I would do those. Those things smell nice too, you know? They're little things, but they matter. They're like... the details to the big picture. The happy little bushes that bring out the best in the mountain."
  151. "In the mountain or around the mountain?"
  152. >"Well in this case, they're bushes that the mountain eats."
  153. "But if the bushes are the herbs and the steak is the main course... then don't we eat the mountain?"
  154. >"That's silly, Mr. A. Mountains don't eat bushes."
  155. >This repeated moon logic makes you smirk
  156. "Alright wise guy, what do mountains eat then?"
  157. >"Cave explorers that get lost. Obviously, right?"
  158. >She never doesn't sound amused
  159. "Right... that's rather morbid, isn't it?"
  160. >"Well I mean it's not like it's plucking them out of their homes."
  161. "Yeah because that would be weird."
  162. >"Totally. And you know that weird is weird."
  163. "S'yeah... like, totally."
  164. >You start to adopt her inflections
  165. "Like... shut up, do you ever think of... like the trees that eat the nutrients from the mountain too?"
  166. >Starsky giggles
  167. >"Bro, I TOTALLY think that! And it's true, too! Because-and dig this-the minerals get eaten up by the trees... but then they die and the mountain claims it back. And then other trees slurp them back up. They're like... farmers. But without farmers."
  168. "Woooaaahhh... you like... blew my mind."
  169. >"Legit, Mr. A. It's kinda spooky to think of how well nature gets along without us."
  170. >You let out a loud, long sigh
  171. "Ahhhh Starsky. You're weird. Grab me a bag of those sausage sticks."
  172. >"The bad you drowned in red pepper flakes?"
  173. "You know it."
  174. >"Sure, lemme get them. And... uh. Head's up, they're all yours."
  175. >She crouches down and bites down onto one of the four bags of snack meats you grabbed
  176. >Maybe you got too much variety
  177. >But it was a good excuse to spend nearly twenty bucks per bag
  178. >She lifts up her head, corner of the bag hanging from her lips
  179. >You swipe it and finagle the ziplock seal until you get a stick pushed out and ready for chomping
  180. "Not a fan of hot stuff?"
  181. >"Nah, Mr. A. It ain't like that at all. I can handle some peppering."
  182. "What is it like then?"
  183. >The first stick goes by too fast, so you go for a second
  184. >"I just don't want you to see me panting and drooling before dinnertime."
  185. >You nearly choke on your chunk of flaky beef
  186. >That, in turn, leads to you swerving hard into the oncoming lane
  187. >Thankfully the only other person on the road is a half mile in front of you
  188. >You won't dare say it for fear of smart remark, but maybe you should muzzle her

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