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/marital/ What's Bugging Anon E. Mouse?

By BlondieAnon
Created: 13th July 2022 12:22:31 AM
4th October 2022 10:44:20 PM

  1. >You thought that living alone was the worst thing imaginable
  2. >No matter what, you couldn't deal with...
  3. >The silence
  4. >The utterly muted and hushed minutes, hours, days that made you feel like you were two seconds away from an abyss swallowing you whole
  5. "Applejack, please, we gotta-"
  6. >"I'm sorry sugarcube but Twilight needs me! We ain't never beaten a big bad before without all of us present, and she's sure as shoot gonna need my hooves!"
  7. >To cap off her hurried preparing, she leans back onto her hind hooves, tilts her head up as much as she can, and plants a peck on your chin
  8. >You do your best to kneel but it just feels to weird to sit on the ground
  9. >The size difference is pretty favorable at times but it makes having harder conversations that much more difficult
  10. >You think she knows the topic you're wanting to bring up
  11. >"Now don't you worry none, as soon as I come back we're gonna talk until the cows come home! 'till then, I gotta go stomp some bugs. Help Big Macintosh a little, will ya? Don't tell him so but I think you've outlifted him all week."
  12. >As much as you would like to hold her back, you know that she and her friends are some sort of globetrotting force for good
  13. >You try not to bring up those things since they often sound like horror stories
  14. "...yeah. Alright. Be safe, ok? I need to see you come back."
  15. >With a growing blush and a big grin, AJ gives you another peck
  16. >"Oh don't you worry Anon, you get me goin' hard enough that I could buck a thousand trees."
  17. >With that, she pulls herself away from you and whips herself about face
  18. >With how heavy her saddlebags are, you half expect her hunt to take a month
  19. >You give her a wave as she stampedes off, going from taking a knee to standing so you can watch her for longer
  20. >Even after she's out of sight, you find yourself waving for far... far too long
  21. >"I think she's gone by now."
  22. "Yup..."
  23. >You didn't know when Big Mac popped up but he sounds minorly amused
  24. >"I wouldn't worry about it. She's nowhere near as big as me... and certainly not you. But she's got more fight in her than both of us. And then some."
  25. "I know, I..."
  26. >You sigh
  27. "I'm gonna feel like crap for asking, but is it alright if I take off for the day? I'm gonna go fishing."
  28. >Big Mac chuckles
  29. >"Eeyup. You don't work here, you certainly don't need to stay if she isn't around. Not until after you show off that fancy ring, anyway."
  30. "W-wait, what?!"
  31. >You finally turn to face him but he's already sauntering off with a smile
  32. >He knew?
  33. >...
  34. >Of course he knew
  35. >All of Ponyville must know at this point
  36. >Doesn't help that you've been asking questions about customs and ceremony
  37. "...ah crap."
  38. >So much for a surprise
  39. >At least you didn't lie to Big Mac
  40.  
  41. >For as long as you've been around town, you often go out to the Everfree Forest to go fishing
  42. >You rarely catch anything that could be classified as a fish but it's fun
  43. >The sounds of nature keep you calm as well
  44. >Best of all?
  45. >It's an untouched spot because of the surrounding field of Poison Joke
  46. >You were warned about it dozens of times but the only side-effect you've ever gotten...
  47. >Well
  48. >You can't say you mind it
  49. >Sitting on a fallen log that has only been disrupted by your butt, you whip out your line and set the pole down
  50. >You don't expect to catch anything
  51. >But that's ok
  52. >You didn't come here just to look at a rippling pond
  53. >"Anonymous, it's you!"
  54. >You can't help but grin but you pretend you don't hear her
  55. >"Don't you act deaf now, I can tell you're happier than a snail on a rainy Sunday!"
  56. >Resist, Anon
  57. >The voice, now close, whispers at your side
  58. >"Ya catch anythin' yet?"
  59. >You see her at the edge of your vision
  60. >Given how nutty the world is, you haven't thought too deeply into your own Poison Joke affliction
  61. >You've created what is basically an imaginary marefriend
  62. "Nah, AJ... not yet. Actually, hold on..."
  63. >You duck down and squint into the water
  64. >You see her head duck down too
  65. "I got something in my sights..."
  66. >"Reel 'er in, sugarcube...!"
  67. >With the vision of a chameleon and the speed of a frightened Fluttershy, you whip to your side, grab her by her flank, and flip her onto your lap
  68. >You've practiced enough that you don't even clonk her head against the log now
  69. >Either she's an imaginary marefriend or that Poison Joke really made some sort of temporary clone
  70. >Either way it's a win for you
  71. >Applejack looks up at you, amazed by the flippening
  72. >"W...woah nelly. You sure got 'er alright."
  73. "Yeah I did."
  74. >You lean down to give her a kiss
  75. >It's far more of a kiss than the meager pecks you've been receiving
  76. >Only on rare occasions did you manage such a world igniting sign of adoration
  77. >You know that this has to be some sort of hazy moment of mental clarity because you can feel her return the fervor
  78. >Just as you always wished she would
  79. >When you finally pull back, you're both audibly out of breath
  80. "That... is because you went and left me alone again."
  81. >"Again?! Well dang, what in tarnation would I give you up for?!"
  82. >She sounds almost frustrated
  83. >You wish she would be frustrated at herself for how often she's been skipping out on things when topics get more serious
  84. "Ahh... it's something important."
  85. >And now it begins
  86. "I mean, I get it. You're all big and powerful, and your friends too. And the world needs saving sometimes."
  87. >You wouldn't ever admit it, but talking to the Poison Jack feels therapeutic at times
  88. >Your imagination or some plant-based construct would never tell on you
  89. "But I wish that I could at least help. Or do something to make it easier, you know?"
  90. >"Save the world? Heh! And why would I leave to save the world when he's already in front of me?"
  91.  
  92. >That comment is met with another extended kiss
  93. >With some extra exploration with a hand
  94. >You can never do this with her on the farm
  95. >Big Mac has a way about sneaking up on you, and Applebloom is the opposite and is always laughing whenever she sees even the hint of compromising position
  96. >But out here?
  97. >You can practice
  98. >You can imagine exactly what you would do if only you had the time
  99. >By the time she finished, you had almost forgotten that you had the pole set
  100. >A quick reel of it shows that the bait-a piece of cheese-wasn't even nibbled on
  101. >"Heh... whew... you can multitask, partner."
  102. >You grin and chuckle to yourself
  103. "Yeah well, when you're motivated enough things just fall in...to..."
  104. >When you readjust your attention to Poison Jack you see an unusually long tongue loll out
  105. >For just a second, her eyes look almost serpentine
  106. >Not almost
  107. >Fully
  108. >You think?
  109. >As soon as you recognize those, they're gone
  110. "...?"
  111. >Poison Jack returns your leer with a raised eyebrow
  112. >"You alright, Anon? Kinda funny if you're acting like I'm the one with the magic touch!"
  113. >She gives an embarrassed smile and averts her eyes
  114. "No, not that. I... I don't know. I guess it's nothing. Maybe the Poison Joke is getting to me."
  115. >"O-oh, yeah! It probably is. Heh, remember when you first saw me? You were all cryin' and panickin' an'-"
  116. "W-was not! I was worried you'd end up spackled with tree bark or... or turn into bologna! I don't know how this weird nature stuff works out."
  117. >"Heh... you were worried. All over little ol' me."
  118. >The way she sighs, you get the feeling that she's not happy
  119. "Hey."
  120. >You wrap an arm around her and pull her close
  121. >You have both practiced enough that she doesn't seem to mind your damp hand
  122. "You mean a lot to me. Even if this is all inside my head and I'm just tripping balls, I'm pretty proud that I still think of you so much."
  123. >"You really mean that, don't you."
  124. >That
  125. >...?
  126. >That isn't how Applejack sounds
  127. "...huh?"
  128. >Is the bad trip starting now?
  129. >If you see a spider tap dancing toward you with a fork and dinner knife, you're going to shit out your skeleton
  130. "Y-yeah. Of course I do, Applejack. I mean, I'll admit, I haven't seen that many mares since I got here. But the way you talk and act, the way you can handle things but still value my help... value me. I really don't think I've ever felt like I've belonged so well before."
  131. >You and Poison Jack sit still and enjoy the scent of, among other things, the pond and the wild flowers growing
  132. >"...say, what did I say to you before I left today? I kinda forgot. Some danged man went and scrambled my eggs."
  133. "And your brain apparently."
  134. >"H-hey now!"
  135. "Heh heh..."
  136. >At least in your imagination, Applejack is a little more raunchy
  137. "You said that you "gotta go stomp some bugs". And that Twilight needed you. And you know how that one is, if she's calling everyone then it must be important."
  138. >You never felt comfortable around Twilight
  139. >You get the vibe she would sooner vivisect than talk to you
  140. >Or worse
  141.  
  142. >"...oh... is that right, huh..."
  143. >The joy leaves Poison Jack's voice
  144. "Yeah... I don't get it either. She told me about the parasprite stuff but that surely doesn't require all of them together. Does it?"
  145. >"Parasprites...?"
  146. >She giggles
  147. >"Oh naw. Parasprites ain't nothin'. But you know..."
  148. >Poison Jack looks up at you
  149. >She has a lusciously dark expression, paired with a half-starved smile
  150. >"Parasprites sure are hungry little critters... and Anon?"
  151. >As much as this is starting to make the back of your hairs stand on end from some genuine sense of a threat
  152. >You can not
  153. >And will not
  154. >Argue with how powerful your erection is
  155. "Y...yeah?"
  156. >"This little parasprite is going to eat you all up."
  157. >Deep down inside
  158. >You know that this Poison Joke stuff is probably just giving you hallucinations
  159. >Or you're stuck in a euphoric daze, full of unrequited affection and amorous intent
  160. >But for the rest of the evening
  161. >You completely believe that you are with the mare you are going to make your wife

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