Christmas is Magic (Anon x Twilight)


                                            >The bright white blanket of deliciously cold snow stinging your eyes right in their sockets, almost harsh enough to be blinding

                                            >The skeletons of deciduous trees overlapping with the vivid green conifers wearing their sweaters of snow in thick groves beyond

                                            >Despite having walked for an uncertain amount of time, your fresh tracks were immediately covered by another flurry of fluffy white powder

                                            >You continue to walk in the snowy wonderland before you, blissful and ignorant

                                            >Your family is waiting there in the distance, waving at you from beyond the winter treeline

                                            >Bright city lights flash behind them, a bustling metropolis full of life just a little further ahead

                                            >You can't wait to go to the skating rink, or maybe the mall in the center of town to do some last-minute gift shopping

                                            >You can't wait to get back to Earth

                                            >Get back to...

                                            >Wait

                                            >Back? To Earth?

                                            >Now you're running through the snow, painfully aware of the growing distance between you and your family

                                            >They're no longer waiving, and instead trekking up the powdered slope and fading into the city skyline

                                            "Wait! Don't go!"


                                            >"Anon? Are you down here?"

                                            >You wake with a start and nearly fall out of your chair

                                            >An astonishingly loud tearing sound fills your ears and you realize that your face had been glued to the page of some research text while you slept via your saliva and you'd ripped the page halfway down the middle

                                            "Shit! U-uh, yeah? What's up?"

                                            >You panic and attempt to fuse the torn page back to the spine of the book through sheer willpower but it's clear that you've been caught when a ball of magenta magic takes hold of your impromptu art project

                                            >Briefly, you consider bolting straight up the stairs and right out the front door but there's no way you could get away from a unicorn as powerful as her

                                            >Plus, you had no idea how expensive or rare this book, or any of the books you'd been studying were

                                            >If it were irreplaceable you'd definitely be held accountable, and that filled you with the kind of dread you couldn't ever outrun

                                            >Rather than spit in your mouth and nail you to a cross, however, Twilight Sparkle eyes the cover of the bound tome with a frown and gestures to you

                                            >"'Portals and You: A Tentative Dive into Instantaneous Transportation and Molecular Reconstruction'? Anon, have you been... trying to figure out how to get home again?"

                                            >The exasperated, sleep-deprived look in your face gives you away and you plop back down into your chair, kicking off of the floor to spin in a silly little circle

                                            "Yeah, something like that. It's not like I'm making any fucking progress though."

                                            >Before you knew it, Twilight had already repaired the book (why hadn't you considered that?) and floated it over to the others piled in front of you

                                            >There were something like ten different tomes of nonsense scattered across the candlelit desk you were sitting at

                                            >All books related to portals, teleportation, extra-terrestrial phenomena and the like

                                            >The significance of that wasn't lost on the lavender unicorn, and she straightened your notes up in front of her before walking back to the stairs leading to the main floor of the treebrary

                                            >"Anon, I of all ponies know the importance of diligent and thorough research, but don't you think you should take a break? You've been down here studying for weeks and I'm worried about you. Why don't we get some fresh air and we can talk about this."

                                            >You reeled at the thought of Celestia's burning ball of gas searing your skin after weeks of reclusive dark-dwelling, but it was obvious Twilight was just concerned and you kind of owed it to her since she let you live here rent-free and all

                                            "Right. I'll be up there in just a second."

                                            >Twilight hesitated, but she decided to leave anyways

                                            >"I'm sure we can work something out if we talk about it with all our friends. I'll see if I can get the girls over for a bit - that'll put a smile on your face!"

                                            >She flashed you a quick smile and trotted back up the stairs, her tail swishing happily behind her

                                            >Guess you'd better get up there before she has to drag you out of your depression with her sparkly gay magic


                                            >It wasn't anything special really

                                            >The magical mishap that resulted in you being whisked off to the magical land of talking rainbow horses was almost instantaneous

                                            >One second you were walking down the trash-ridden slum streets of downtown Detroit, and the next you were running from a full-grown manticore in the middle of an unforgiving forest of shadows and gloom

                                            >It was actually Twilight and her friends that found you first and, after blasting the shit out of that manticore, invited you to stay a while in Ponyville while they figured out your situation

                                            >A few months had passed before Twilight took you up north to a castle-town called Canterlot, where you met Equestria's diarchs and explained your situation again

                                            >Despite your initial expectations that two uber-powerful winged unicorns could easily just zap you back to Earth like that, it just wasn't that simple

                                            >For starters, neither of them had the slightest idea where in the universe 'Earth' even was

                                            >You learned later that their 'special talents' related to the sun and moon, which was a devastating blow to your mental health

                                            >I mean, if the ones in charge of the stars and the motherfucking sun couldn't help you out, it was a fat chance that you'd be able to figure it out on your own

                                            >The ride back to Ponyville was a disappointing one but you didn't lose heart, especially considering Twilight lived in a massive library of all places

                                            >You poured yourself into studying up on all kinds of magic and space to a degree

                                            >It might have been in vain, but helped to keep you sane while you tried to ignore the painful realization that you would never see your family again

                                            >It wasn't like you were particularly close with any of them, but it burned a hole straight through you knowing that you'd never have drinks with papa anon or reminiscing with mama anon

                                            >It hurt even more when you realized what was probably coming up

                                            >Christmas, your favorite holiday of the year, was fast approaching (or so you thought)

                                            >You'd heard talk of something called 'Hearth's Warming', but when you questioned a few ponies about it what you got was a cheap knock-off of what Christmas on Earth was

                                            >Maybe that was a little mean, but it seemed like a sort of lacklustre celebration for a seemingly significant part of Equestria's history to you

                                            >Your brooding is interrupted as you realize that all five of Twilight's friends (as well as Twilight herself) were waiting to greet you at the top of the stairs and were staring at you as you muttered to yourself with what was likely a sour scowl on your face

                                            "Oh, shit. Hey guys, didn't see you th-"

                                            >You're interrupted as Pinkie Pie bounces towards you and sticks a bubblegum hoof in your mouth, which actually does taste a bit like bubblegum (the fuck?)

                                            >"Nonny, we're so so happy that you wanted to invite us to the 'Christmas' party you were planning! I've never been to a Christmas party, but I'm guessing it's a little like a Hearth's Warming party, right?"

                                            >Your face screws up in a confused gawk and you look at Twilight semi-accusingly, who sheepishly folds her ears and rubs a foreleg

                                            >"Sorry, I guess I should have told you: Hearth's Warming is coming up, and I know that you have some other sort of holiday back on Earth around this time - Christmas, right? - so we figured that we'd throw you a Christmas party and pick up some of those Earth traditions so you don't feel lonely during the holidays."

                                            >You awkwardly look between Twilight and the rest of the gang (including Pinkie, who's still standing right in front of you with her hoof pressed against your face), and shrug your shoulders before pushing Pinkie aside

                                            "Shit, that doesn't sound too bad. I haven't been to a good Christmas party in years, actually."

                                            >"Lucky for you you're looking at the best partyers in all of Ponyville, Anon!" Rainbow Dash gestures to herself and her friends while giving you a playful smirk.

                                            >Rarity casually tosses her luscious purple mane over her shoulders and rolls her eyes at Rainbow's comment. "Yes, something to that effect. We've been to enough of Pinkie Pie's parties that I think we all are more or less familiar with 'getting down' at this point, as they say."

                                            >The others more or less nod in agreement and you straighten up a bit, towering over them at your above-average human height

                                            "So, when you say Earth traditions..."

                                            >Twilight nods her head. "Whatever you did on Earth, we want to try to match that as closely as possible. Spike, could you come here and take this down?"

                                            >"On it!" Spike's voice sounds from the other room and he rushes in on his stubby dragon lags, quill and parchment in hand

                                            "Well, it all started with this crazy motherfucker from Greece..."


                                            >Hours later, you had regaled everyone with the origins of Christmas starting from Saint Nicholas of Myra to the cartoonishly fat and jolly fucker that everyone knows about in modern day

                                            >Everyone was pretty attentive to the spotty histure lecture you handed out to them, and Rarity was particularly interested in Santa Claus's outfit, especially after you decided to give her a crude little stick figure sketch

                                            >Your art skills were akin to Christian Weston Chandler's, but considering the ponies had only ever seen one human ever they didn't seem to mind that much

                                            >Rainbow Dash mostly ignored you but decided to listen a little harder when you mentioned that Santa was supposedly able to deliver gifts around the entire globe in one night, which she considered "Pretty fast for a human"

                                            >Applejack admired the practicality of the sleigh, which seemed to parallel modes of transportation in Equestria already, and Fluttershy was understandably enamored by the flying reindeer - especially the one with the bright red noses

                                            >"I think we can work with that. Since this is going to be your party, you just make yourself busy and we'll come find you when it's time, all right?"

                                            >Twilight's chipper mood was almost enough to bring your spirits up to MAXIMUM holiday cheer, but something still felt like it was missing and you just couldn't really get into it


                                            >And just like that, you were sitting in the middle of the golden oaks library with a filly you'd never seen on your lap and a great white beard dangling from your chin

                                            >Somehow, Rarity had managed to size you by eye alone and produced this scarily accurate santa suit with a beard made out of something you didn't ask about because uhhhhhhhhhh

                                            >There's a long line of these skittle children straight out the door and down the road a ways

                                            >For something so mundane, it seemed it was catching on pretty quick

                                            >You muster up your deepest, boomiest, jolliest voice and pat the little filly on the head

                                            "HO HO HO! And WHAT do you want for Christmas, little filly?"

                                            >Luckily, the concept of Christmas and its similarities with Hearth's Warming were shared with all of them beforehand so none of them were confused out of their little skulls when a human in a fat suit and a fake beard patted his lap for them to jump onto and whisper wishes into his ear

                                            >"I want a human!" the little filly exclaimed, which got a few chuckles out of her parents nearby and a hearty laugh out of you as well

                                            "A human, huh? You know, back on Earth kids always asked for-" you cut yourself off by clearing your throat and continue - "-nevermind. I might have to work a little overtime for that one, but I'll see what I can do! Merry Christmas, Flower Bed!"

                                            >The tan filly gave you a short little hug and buggered off to her parents for the next one to take her place, and you were filled with a sense of pride at giving these ponies some good ol' fashioned Earth Christmas magic


                                            >The day continued much of the same, and by the end your beard was falling apart and your ass felt like you'd been sitting on the iron throne of GRRM's design, but you were definitely up in your spirits now

                                            >And it was all thanks to Twilight

                                            >Speaking of, the unicorn made it a point to try and spend as much time nearby as possible, which was a gesture not lost on you

                                            >She was a tremendous help with the children as well as setting up the decorations for the party, though that was largely handled by the pink party mistress herself

                                            >After you were all changed and ready to get into the spirit of things, you found her by the punch bowl, wobbling on her purple little legs and-

                                            "HOLYSHITWOAH!"

                                            >You were wrapped in a magenta glow and dragged over to Twilight, where she wrapped her hooves around your waist and started to sniff your chest like a dog

                                            >"ANONNNNnnnn! Where have you been all day, huh? It's like... like we haven't even seen each other!"

                                            >Was Twilight drunk?

                                            "Are you drunk?"

                                            >She definitely was

                                            >"I'm DEFINITELY not, okay? Just had a few glasses of this super-duper-delicious punch here and now I feeeeel GREAT!"

                                            >You push yourself away from Twilight's vice grip and draw a glass of punch for yourself, holding it below your nose

                                            >Before you can get a whiff, though, Twilight snatches the cup out of your hand and downs it all in one big, unattractive gulp

                                            >You shrug your shoulders and eye the punch warily

                                            "Shit, is this alcoholic? I didn't even know ponies had alcohol, let alone brought it to parties. I take it you're not a big drinker, huh?"

                                            >Twilight was trying to pour herself another drink but seemed to be missing her cup by a wide margin, getting the floor a little tipsy instead

                                            >A quick glance around told you that everyone else was occupied with the festivities, and Twilight was kind of just over here getting fucked up by herself

                                            >Spike was wearing the finest lampshade you've ever seen and trying to dance with Rarity, who was doing her best to fake a smile while simultaneously trying to speak with some fashion designed from out of town that showed up sometime in the last hour

                                            >Applejack and Rainbow Dash were playing party games and ignoring their own obvious sexual tension while Fluttershy was enjoying a slice of cake in the corner

                                            >You forgot there was cake

                                            >There's always cake

                                            >Twilight jostles you with a hoof and your attention is drawn back to her

                                            "What?"

                                            >Twilight thinks for a moment, her hoof comically rubbing her chin before she gestures to you and shouts at you, despite being only a foot or two away

                                            >"ANON! Are you happy?? We threw you this big BIG party today and I hope you're not sad anymore, okay? You're a greeeaaat friend, and you mean the world to us... we're always your friends, so please don't be sad anymore..." Twilight wraps her hooves around you and nuzzles into your waist, and you can't help but run a few fingers through her mane and pat her cute little head

                                            "Yeah, thanks Twi, I really appreciate all of this. I think you should get to bed though, you're kind of fucked up right now."

                                            >She waves a hoof and roughly pushes you away before spinning around and swishing her bottom at you suggestively

                                            >"Anon, I didn't take you for a player! If you want to take me to bed, all you have to do is ask..."

                                            >Your brow reached the top of your face in record time and despite your modest attraction to Twilight her awkward mating dance was more laughable than anything

                                            "All right, bed-time for the purple horse - let's go upstairs."

                                            >You wrap your arms around her and toss her over your shoulder like a captive before heading up the stairs, which earns you a few stares that you'll have to explain to later most likely

                                            >"H-hey! Put me down! I'm perfectly sober!"

                                            >You cast a glance behind you and shake your head

                                            "All right, tell the time then."

                                            >Twilight looks to the sturdy grandfather clock beside her bedroom and smugly gestures to it

                                            >"I'm -perfectly- sober." she says to the clock

                                            >You chuckle a bit at that and continue your trek up the stairs

                                            "Riiiiiight. Up you go, Twi."

                                            >She struggles a bit in your grip but falls limp when you open her door and plop her down on the bed after closing it

                                            "Get some rest Twilight, and if you need anything from me just let me know; I'll be downstairs."

                                            >You go to open the door and leave the unicorn in her stupor but she magicks it shut and fixes you with a pout when you turn around to accuse her

                                            >"Anon... Can't you stay for a bit?"

                                            >You're surprised at her forwardness, but you suppose alcohol can do that to a mare, especially one that doesn't drink very often

                                            >Clearing a spot on her bed, Twilight gestures for you to sit beside her and you do so, not especially concerned that something lewd will happen considering you haven't had anything to drink yet

                                            "All right, I'll bite. What's up?"

                                            >Twilight wiggles into your lap and looks up at you, holding her forelegs above her adorably and poking at your chest

                                            >"Are you okay, anon? You know I'm really worried about you, don't you? You've done nothing but mope and study yourself to the bone ever since the Princesses told you they couldn't send you home."

                                            >Oh

                                            >There it was, you guess

                                            >You had prepared yourself to talk about it again today, but the party did wonders to distract you from the homesickness you were feeling during your favorite time of the year

                                            "Oh, yeah." you sputter out. "Don't worry about me Twi, I'm doing all right."

                                            >The unicorn is unconvinced though, and pouts adorably at you until you finally relent

                                            >Damn those big, expressive eyes

                                            "...All right, all right. Yeah, I guess I've been a little obsessive about getting home. I don't even know why I care so much since I was living in such a shithole before this. I wasn't super close with my family either, but now that I can't see them ever again, I feel sort of empty inside - like I wasted so much of my life being a selfish piece of shit." You sigh a heavy sigh and idly push your fingers through Twilight's purple mane, and she leans into your touch

                                            >"Mmmm... Well, I can't possibly be a replacement for your parents, or Earth, but I hope you know just how much we all love you and we're happy to have you here in Ponyville regardless." Twilight playfully licks your hand and bop her nose, to which she scrunches up her face and attempts to swat your hand away

                                            "Yeah yeah, I get it. I guess I'm just a mopey little fuck around this time of year. It'll pass - then maybe I can get over myself."

                                            >Twilight pushes her hoof up and presses it against your lips, shushing you

                                            >"Shhh. No talkies. Just smilies." She says, rubbing your cheeks affectionately with both hooves

                                            >Cuddly Twi is definitely something you didn't expect but wholeheartedly welcome

                                            >You give her your best smile, but she shakes her head and abruptly sits up on your lap, now facing you

                                            >"Try again! That wasn't a /real/ smile, was it? Trust me, I know the difference."

                                            >You're surprised at the swiftness with which she sat up, but you try again to flash her a genuine smile somehow

                                            >"Anon, do you honestly expect me to believe that's a real smile? Listen, I've got a secret to tell you, some come here."

                                            >Twi waves you in closer, but there really isn't much space there between the two of you to begin with so you inch forward as slowly as you can

                                            >And she kisses you

                                            >For a moment you stop thinking

                                            >Time seems to stop for as long as your lips are connected, and your cheeks light up a fiery red of embarrassment

                                            >It wasn't like this was your first kiss or anything, but it had been so long since you'd had any romantic considerations that you were taken completely by surprise here

                                            >Twilight slips her forelegs around your shoulders and you steady her on your lap by affixing your hands to her flanks, fingers tracing along the raised surface of her cutie marks which gets a whinny of surprise out of her

                                            >She redoubled her efforts, wiggling her bottom against your lap and lapping greedily at your lips, tongue attempting to invade the sovereign territory of your mouth

                                            >The white flag was raised behind the southern tooth wall and soon your tongues were wrestling like alligators fighting over a catch in the nile river

                                            >Despite being totally plastered, Twilight's mouth tasted purely of sugar and roses and other flowery bullshit ponies seemed to smell like constantly

                                            >Maybe it was just in their nature to be sweet little sugar goblins

                                            >With Twilight's full weight against your face, despite her being nowhere near the weight of a grown human, you fell backwards on the bed with her held close and she fell with you, your teeth smacking together and you both crying out in pain

                                            "Fuck! That always goes so smoothly in movies and porn."

                                            >Twilight quickly recovers and holds your face in her hooves, inspecting your mouth like a worried mother

                                            >"Anon! Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I? There isn't any bleeding or missing teeth or other problems like that are there? I'm so sorry!"

                                            >You re-align your jaw with a satisfying pop and calmly push the unicorn away, sitting up on your hands in the bed

                                            "Yeah I'm fine, just a little sore. Pretty quick reflexes for an intoxicated mare, though, I must say."

                                            >The purple unicorn's gaze falls and she doesn't quite match your playful jab

                                            >"O-oh, right. I guess it would be a little strange considering that's what's supposed to be happening right now."

                                            >She kind of mutters to herself and you're now pretty confused

                                            "Supposed to be? What are you talking about?"

                                            >Twilight's head jerks back to you and her eyes widen considerably

                                            >Her mouth opens and closes a few times as she looks all around the room before finally settling her eyes back on yours

                                            >Then she whips around in place, flagging you with her tail, revealing her backside to you

                                            >Despite the pleasant view, it doesn't really look like she's aroused - her marehood is tight and clean, a deep indigo flower amid her purple hindquarters

                                            >"Hey, let's just cut to the chase here - I'm drunk, you're horny, and we're in a bed together - I think you know what's supposed to happen next!"

                                            >Twilight shakes her rump around in your face a little more and you're still just as confused as you were before

                                            "Twilight."

                                            >She swishes her tail around a little more and you squint

                                            "Twilight."

                                            >She dances a little faster, her face practically buried in the sheets as she flags you ever faster

                                            "TWILIGHT."

                                            >She finally relents, peeking out of the blankets and fixing you with a nervous smile, a crimson blush spreading across her face

                                            >"...Yes?"

                                            "The fuck are you doing?"

                                            >She looks at you for a few more seconds and then blurts out

                                            >"...Trying to get you to have sex with me so that you fall deeply in love with me and change your mind about wanting to leave Ponyville and me and all of my friends that way none of us are sad and everything works out perfectly?"

                                            >There is a brief moment of silence where each party in the room is staring at the other

                                            "You fucking wot?"

                                            >Twilight's fragile smile crumbles and tears well up in her eyes as she lowers her rump and buries her face in her pillow, shuddering with quiet sobs

                                            >Though you're still pretty confused, you slide over to her side and gingerly pat her head

                                            "Twilight, you're not really drunk, are you?"

                                            >She shakes her head, face still buried in her pillows

                                            "Did you tell any of your friends about this plan of yours?"

                                            >Another shake

                                            "Did you think it was going to work?"

                                            >She's still for a few moments but eventually shakes her head

                                            "You know, you don't have to sleep with me for me to fall in love with you."

                                            >Her little head shoots up like a spear-tipped rocket and you're soon face-to-face with her puffy eyed frown, a faint glimmer of hope and despair shining in her bright eyes

                                            >"R-really?"

                                            >You shrug your shoulders, now painfully aware of what could have happened if you were a different type of person

                                            >Would she really have had sex with you just to make you stay here?

                                            >Did she even want to?

                                            "Well, er. I mean, it's possible. I haven't fully come to terms with the fact that I'll never see a human girl ever again, but it's not like ponies are ugly or anything, and you've been such a great help to me since I was dropped off here on this fucking rock. You'd be my first pick for 'future marefriend', if that means anything."

                                            >If Twilight's cheeks got any redder, you wouldn't be surprised if her entire coat flipped from purple to scarlet before your very eyes

                                            >"Anon... Do you really mean that?"

                                            "Something like that."

                                            >You rub the back of your neck, and this time it's your turn to embarrassed

                                            >Twilight tosses her hooves around your neck and embraces you close to her chest, the feeling of her soft and fluffy coat warming you right up

                                            >You slowly wrap your arms around the little unicorn as well and, watching for her pointy horn, lower your head to nuzzle her cheek

                                            "You know, it's not like I'm just going to up and run the fuck out one day. I don't have anywhere else to go but here, and if I can't figure out how to get home, I'll need a place to stay for a while - can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be, honestly."

                                            >Twilight sniffled behind you and finally pulled away from the hug, wiping her face with a foreleg

                                            >"I know how much it means to you, Anon, and I've been doing some research of my own as well. Unfortunately, I just don't have the magical ability to handle advanced magic like that yet. If the Princesses - who were taught by Starswirl the Bearded himself - can't send you home, I doubt I'd be able to. That being said, I won't give up until I know definitively that I can't do it, so please don't think you have to do this all alone!" She tries to flash you a sad smile but it's clear that she's holding back more tears, possibly at the prospect of you leaving Equestria for good

                                            >You bop her nose with a finger and despite herself her face scrunches up and she glares at you

                                            >"Hey!"

                                            "Don't worry about it Twilight. I think I've come to a realization after these past few weeks: I don't really care about going home. I mean, I miss my family, but the ponies I've met here and the experiences I've had here in these short few months have been better and more meaningful than anything I experienced on earth. If I have to spend the rest of my days here, possibly with you, I can't say I'd be too angry."

                                            >You take her chin in your hands and begin to lead her into another kiss, which she puckers up for, and decide at the last second to peck her forehead right beside her horn, which earns you an annoyed whine

                                            "Spending Christmas with you this year was the best present I could have gotten, and I'm looking forward to many more, if you-"

                                            >Twilight tackles you onto the bed and squeezes you tightly against her barrel

                                            >"YesyesyesyesyesyesYES! You're so sweet, Anon! You'd better stick around because you're going to have a very sad unicorn to deal with if you start thinking about leaving again."

                                            >She nuzzles your neck and nickers happily and you can't help but chuckle, being attacked by a purple unicorn in a land of magical ponies and having not a care in the world

                                            "Merry Christmas, Twilight."

                                            >"Merry Christmas, Anon."