Drunk as a Skunk - Dash and AJ

 

“You sure that’s a smart idea?” Applejack sipped at her own cup. The fourth round of the night. She could hold her alcohol.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, could not.

 

“Awwww relax, AppleJapple! I’m not even drunk!” Dash declared, pausing to let her cheeks bloat and punctuate her very convincing argument with a sloppy, lip-fluttering BBLUUUOOOORRRP!!

 

“Ugh.” Applejack grit her teeth. Another of her friend’s notorious burps blew across her face with a hazardous dose of sour apples.

“Celestia, that stinks something fierce!” AJ slapped her hat over her muzzle. Another well-timed throat buster from Rainbow threw it out of Applejack’s grasp and to the floor.

 

nnnUUUUUUUHHLLHUUUHHLLP!!!!

 

“Aw shit that one tasted rotten!” Slurred Dashie, snorting and giggling between hiccups. “Hey! You w-wanna hear me burp my ABCs? aaEeee bbbuuuUuuoooorreeee ssssEEEEUUUOOOHHHLLOORP-“

 

The bartender slid her drink across and quickly leapt out the way of the slovenly gas factory of a mare. He was getting close to kicking the pair out. Closing time had come and gone, and not even Berry Punch was drunk enough to still be here.

Every time he considered approaching Dash, though, he listened to the sounds busting out of both ends of her and realized it wasn’t worth the potential loss of his senses.

 

And speaking of the other end, Dash leaned into AJ, a sweaty wing wrapped around her to hold her close, and rattled both their stools with a gushing stream of thick, rancid bubbles vomiting out of her rear.

 

“Damn this cider just slides right through me huh?”

 

Applejack’s face contorted. Dashie’s booze burps smelled bad, but her farts were something else. And it wasn’t like the farmpony didn’t enjoy some playful ass-ripping from time to time, but every nonconsensual whiff of Rainbow Dash’s sharp intoxicated stench left her sick in the stomach and light in the head. There was nothing mild or passive about the sheer miasma bubbling from her friend’s behind. Only the most cloyingly tart, deeply fermented smell of moldy apples with a demonic aftertaste of smoked sulfur.

 

“Consarn it, Dash…” Applejack covered her snoot, coughing. Of course it didn’t do very much, even less so when her friend bent forward on her seat and barrelled out a further offensive strike.

 

PppPPpPRRSSHHHHHHBBPPLT!!

 

A wing enfolded Applejack, holding her close. Rainbow Dash’s wheaty beer breath beat over her face.

“Y’know I rrreEEALLlly like you, AJ…” Dash snickered. As it happened, her bodily functions weren’t the only thing she was losing control of, “Heheh… yer so cute.” She slapped her face against her friend’s’, cheek to cheek as her hazy purple eyes tried to hold focus.

 

“Ya don’t mean that.” AJ blushed and flinched at another sudden, crisp belch rumbling Dash’s throat and brutalizing her face in a hot gust, “Enough’s enough, sugarcube. I reckon we should head on back to the farm so’s you can crash on the couch for the night. You ain’t in no condition to fly.”

 

“Or I could sleep in your bed… with you~” Dash licked up the side of her friend’s face, AJ’s cheek squishing inward as the wet, invasive tongue dragged her fur out of place.

 

“S-Stop!”

 

“Awww c’mon you wanna, glluuuuuhhrp, rock my tight p-pegasus body don’tcha? Ride me cowgirl style!”

 

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack shoved her away, but she wouldn’t budge. A resounding, room-shaking burst of flatulence engulfed the two of them in more of her pungent reek and sapped what little energy Applejack had left in her. Rainbow Dash had taken her hostage, and she wouldn’t stop sniffing her hair and licking at her neck like a creep.

 

And then Dash did the unthinkable. She went in for a kiss, taking Applejack by surprise and locking their lips together. AJ’s tongue remained motionless and stiff in her mouth, while Dash’s sopping wet slug burst in and explored every inch of her mouth, mingling the two flavors of pony drool.

Just when it didn’t seem like it could get worse, Applejack could hear something bustling its way up Rainbow Dash’s throat, and…

 

Bnuuuuuoooooorp!!

 

Orange cheeks ballooned as the powerful belch swamped her mouth! Hardly able to think straight, Applejack ended up swallowing a little bit of the acidic cider gas. Dash tightened the grip around her friend, closed her eyes and sensually forced up a much wetter BllluuuuuuuUuuUUUUuuUulllp~

 

With Rainbow burp forcing its way down her throat, Applejack finally managed to force her friend away and freed her lips from her grip to gulp down several lungfuls of “fresh” air.

 

“Tease!” Dash slurred, clenching her eyes and unleashing a staggered trombone solo. Giddy, she wafted the stink up into her own face, got one deep huff of it… and passed out.

 

Applejack was there to catch her before she hit the floor, but given her behavior she really should have let her learn the hard way. Still, AJ wasn’t about to abandon a friend, even with all the atrocious farting and unwanted advances. She draped the sleepy Dash over her back and headed out, tipping the bartender a few bits though nothing would erase the memory of what he’d seen and smelled that night.

 

After a tiresome trudge across town, AJ arrived home. She was going to let Dash sleep on the couch, but frankly the thing had been in the family for generations and she didn’t exactly want it fart-scented for the next few. Instead she brought her unconscious friend into the barn. If she was gonna act and smell like a farm animal, she could sleep like one!

 

Before Applejack could dump her onto a bale of hay, the pegasus stirred and tried to shift position. The sudden movement was enough to throw AJ’s balance. She stumbled, losing her footing, and before she could steady herself, Dash’s full weight came down on her, ass first, knocking her over and pinning her into the hay mound.

 

“For pete’s sake!” Applejack grunted and shuddered at the tacky ponut in her face. No matter how hard she tried to push Dash off, or shake her friend awake, it looked like she was stuck here–stuck with those toned blue buns perched against the side of her face and her friend’s soggy asshole positioned dangerously flush with her nostrils.

 

“Please don’t fart… please don’t fart…” AJ intoned silently. Of course, that was more than wishful thinking. Not two seconds later Dashie’s guts bubbled. She snored and shifted slightly, pressing the full extent of her blue starfish into Applejack’s muzzle. She grunted, and the gas started leaking immediately. Though not as loud or forceful as her earlier rippers, the creamy SBD flushed into Applejack’s nose like a refined poison. And this was merely the first of many. As she’d soon discover, Dash’s ass was just as prolific in her sleep, and that fuel tank of hers was far from empty…